“She’ll be fine.” He smiled, his deep voice rumbling through her.
“I don’t like him.” She said.
“I know you don’t, but Kate is just tutoring him. They aren’t dating or anything.”
“I know, but he’s been treating it like dating lately. Look at those flowers.” She said, indicating the modest bouquet on the counter.
“He’s just a rich kid…”
“Howie used to buy her flowers all the time.” She said absently.
“She and Howie aren’t together any more.” He sighed, letting go of her. She turned and took his dark hand in hers.
“I’m sorry, I know I worry about Kate too much.”
“And you talk to that Backstreet Boy too much. Kate has the right to her privacy now that she and Howie aren’t together. You can’t keep on telling them all about her.” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“They all care about her so much and Kevin most of all these days. I can’t not talk to him. He’s worried about her and Howie.” Lita said.
“That kid sounds like he’s a mess.” Bryan sighed, taking her to the couch. Lita curled herself up against his side, tucked into his arms.
African-American, Dr. Bryan Carpenter was a catch and a half. Freshly out of residency in New Jersey, he was up and coming in Emergency Medicine and Lita had him. His short dreads, his beautiful smile and his passion had captured Lita’s heart the first night they threw themselves together.
It was hard to determine whose parents had the hardest time with it at first. His because she was white or her’s because he was black. She and Bryan had laughed about it on one particular drive home from Sunday dinner. At least both sets of parents were content to say the other was dating a doctor.
“What’s the movie tonight?” he asked, hinting at another passion they each shared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How are they?" Nick whispered to Kevin as they watched AJ help dress a shaky Howie.
“Okay as far as I can tell. Howie is trying not to take a drink. He’s shaking like a leaf.”
“I noticed. AJ’s been real attentive.” Nick said.
“They hashed it out in the bathroom. Howie asked me if I thought he could get away from the tour for a couple days.”
“What?! How come?”
“He wants to go see Kate.”
“Thank god.” Nick sighed. “At least she isn’t in the same kinda mess as he is.”
“She’s working a lot, but that’s just it.” Kevin shrugged.
“How are the terrible two?” Brian chuckled behind Kevin and Nick.
“Good. They aren’t killing one another.” Nick nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I don’t know, AJ.” Howie said as he lifted one leg for AJ to pull part of his costume on.
“I haven’t been on stage without a drink since this tour began.”
“I know, but it’ll be good for you. You don’t want to end up with a problem or something do you?” AJ whispered back, straightening Howie up. He fussed with Howie a bit until he was satisfied. “Just remember what it used to be like. Those people out there want to see Howie D."
“I think that's all that left."
“Well, for right now it will have to do. We'll go looking for the Howie of "Kate and Howie" after the show, okay?” AJ said. “Just relax and have a good time.”
“I asked Kevin, you know, about leaving the tour.”
“What did he say?”
“He was kinda non-committal. I have to talk to Brian and Nick next.” Howie said.
“Just tell them you’re going to see Kate, you know they’ll say yes.”
“I hope so.”
AJ smiled. “Come on, Howie. It’s time to rock this house.”
Howie’s heart was racing, his hands shaking and he was beginning to sweat a lot. He was sure it was withdrawals. God! What had he done for this to happen? Was losing Kate really this bad or what it just losing her to AJ that had thrown him over the edge?
Howie knew the real reason was because he doubted she ever loved him. She got a good deal; a new condo, new car, new clothes; he had even gotten her own credit card. He almost slipped that diamond on her finger, too.
He had no doubt AJ loved Kate, too. He could see it. He also knew he didn’t want Kate like this. He didn’t want her because she couldn’t have AJ. She had stayed with him though and not with AJ. Maybe she did love him, then again, maybe she didn’t.
He just didn’t know any more. He did know he loved her and he had to do something.
Something before this killed him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kate stood by the dry erase board with three other people in the library study room. This particular physics problem was killing Matt and the other two people as well. They asked if they could sit in. She smiled softly at their bent heads. Maybe they were regretting it now. A couple times, she thought they had it, but when it was five hours later and nearly 9:30 she had to let them go.
The other two thanked her, but left her and Matt to pick up his scattered books. Matt was a cute 18-year-old that looked quite a bit like Kevin. Tall, strong and dark haured with brilliant green eyes. Kate gave herself a shake. She had to quit comparing everyone to them. This guy looks like Brian; this guy looks like Nick; another like Kevin.
No one compared to Howie.
Howie.
“Kate? You okay?” Matt asked, coming close behind her as she erased the board. He kept getting closer each time they worked together. He took the eraser from her and finished up for her, pressing her more into the dry erase board.
“I’m fine.” She stammered, feeling the unwanted heat of his closeness.
“Thanks for your help. I don’t know why I can’t seem to get this.” He smiled down at her.
“It’s a hard one. I had problems with it.”
“You? You don’t seem to have any problem with this stuff.”
“Well, I’ve always studied hard…” she began. She had turned toward him. He dipped his head down and his lips grazed hers. “Matt! Don’t!” she said, pushing him away.
“What is it, Kate?” he asked. “I thought you liked the flowers I bought.”
“I do, they were very nice, but…”
“You’re still holding out for the singer boyfriend of yours, aren’t you?”
“How do you know about Howie?” Kate asked, looking up at him defensively.
“It’s around.” Matt shrugged with a little smirk. “I just thought it was okay, that’s all. I mean, I like you Kate. I like you a lot.”
“I like you, too, Matt. I’m not interested in any kind of romantic relationship, that’s all.” Kate said.
“If you like me, what would it hurt to go out with me?” he asked, beginning to tower over her.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Part of your work here is part of your grade…”
“I don’t care about that right now.” He said, breathing her in. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”
To Kate's relief he finally stepped back and put his books in his backpack. He didn’t seem to notice Kate was visibly shaken. Kate gathered up her own things and followed out of the library and through the front doors, past the security cameras. For some reason, she looked up at them.
Kate and Matt didn’t speak at all since they left the library. Kate sat huddled in her seat in his beautiful car with her books in her lap. AJ had a car like this. Amanda had driven it to her house when she told Kate about Rachel in New York. It was the thoughts of the past that broke her staring so intently at the floor. She didn’t realize until it was too late, they weren’t headed to her apartment.
“Matt? Where are you going?” Kate asked as they drove off the main roads into a large city park. “Matt! Stop the car!”
Kate looked over at him, the panic rising in her voice. His fist snaked out so fast that she came up dazed when her own head hit the window on her side. She watched the contents of her bag spill to the floor from her hands.
"Shut up!” he demanded. He brought the car to a stop on a dark trailhead inside the park. He grabbed a handful of her short curls and pulled her head back severely. He began to crawl toward her, holding her down. “I am so tired of you being so goddamn smart about everything.”
“Matt! No! Please! Stop!” she screamed, struggling against him.
He hit her square in the face hard enough to stun her. He reached around her and reclined her seat back. He crawled over her to the backseat, slipping an arm around her throat and pulling her to the backseat.
“You always wear these little skirts and think no one ever notices, don’t you?” he growled. Kate got up so her back was against the door, but he grabbed under her skirt and pulled at any fabric he could find. Her nylons and panties were in shreds in his hands in no time. Her hands continued to hold her pleated skirt down. The skirt Kristen had picked out a long time ago.
“Matt, please don’t do this! I’m sorry, please don’t do this! Please don’t hurt me!” she begged, trying to scramble away from him. She flipped over reaching for the door handle, but he grabbed both of her ankles and pulled her back down on her back.
He hit her again and then repeatedly until she could no longer utter another word. She could feel the heat of the confined place as he pulled open her blouse. His assault on her was brutal and she was sure she would die from it. Each push, each stroke of his body against hers threatened to tear her in half. The pain in her neck was unbearable as his large hands held her face down, turning her eyes so all she could see and smell was the fine grain of the leather seats.
His efforts came louder in her ear and Howie’s name slipped from her lips unwillingly. It was not lost on him. He screamed at her for all the transgressions that he felt she had done against him these last six months. His final movements were strong and unwielding as he came inside of her. He lay on top of her waiting for his breath to even out, then levered himself off and put himself back together. He pulled her legs closed and forced her to curl up on her side. He covered her with a long raincoat and told her not to move. She wouldn’t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh my god!” Howie laughed, running off stage into Nick’s arms. All of them were pumped up after the show, running around and screaming their excitement. Nick laughed with Howie, lifting him off the ground. “God that felt so good!”
It had taken Howie a couple songs to hit his groove, but they all sensed when he got it. AJ slapped Howie’s back as he walked past the happy couple with a laugh.
“AJ! AJ!” Howie yelled, chasing him down. “Buddy, I owe this all to you!”
“No Howie, you did it yourself.” AJ smiled.
“No, AJ, I wouldn’t have survived the last 24 hours without you.” Howie said, pulling AJ out of the chaos going on around them backstage and into a doorway.
“D, I meant what I said.” AJ smiled.
“I know.” Howie nodded.
“Tomorrow we’ll talk to the other guys and see when we can schedule you go back to Orlando.”
“I don’t know if I should now.” Howie sighed, looking worried.
“I know. You and Kate belong together. Dude, you have to go. You were right about one thing you said last night.” AJ said, grabbing both of Howie’s arms. “You can't go on living like this without her.”
One way or another, AJ was going to make sure he didn't have to live without her either.
Table of Contents
Chapter One