Writing a soap opera can be easy and enjoyable if you follow these 1, 2, 3 tips, and remember that people almost never watch them anyway.
1. Have people start crying at least twice during one show.
2. When someone is talking to another person, have them repeat their names, just to remind the audience.
3. During one season at least one person must decide that they're gay and can't be with their childhood girl. (Or boy, but that doesn't happen as often.)
4. There must be at least four discussions of whose a child's parents are.
5. Someone must always come back from jail, etc. and create havoc bringing back memories and old love affairs.
6. There must be at least one drug/alcoholic who decides they need help and magically gets better over two episodes.
7. There must be a car accident, but make sure that it is carefully displayed so their hair doesn't get messed up.
8. You could also consider having one or two of your characters have an untreatable illness, but make sure everyone sees exactly how they overcome their fear.
9. Even kids must have a large vocabulary. Just remember, they are always dealing with something and need to be mature. Either that or they aren't , and throughout the season they magically grow up and become trustworthy, honorable adults.
10. When putting it on TV, make sure that it is always a little bit more misty on the screen than other shows. It will help draw out the emotions, not to mention make it look like they are always crying or depressed.
11. There must be at least one calamity per show. Remember this, because even one time without something horrible happening just wouldn't be the same.
12. Don't use words like calamity unless it's the high school/college kids talking. Use Dawson's Creek as your prime example.
13. Remember your audience. You must always think of the small truth that anyone who stays home all day watching the soaps are, uh, interesting people.
14. People must die. You can use this to show others how they responded with their feelings towards them. Getting drunk, crack, sobbing uncontrollably, moving and other forms of overly developed emotion.
15. Have fun! You have an entire willing audience to corrupt. Run with it!