Now, I am normally quite amused with stories of all the stupid people of the world (if you can't tell, I really like the word stupid, it's fun to say,) but I have changed my mind. I no longer enjoy their company when I have to deal with them on a regular basis, which is, on my part, quite unfortunate. So, as a symbol of what I have to deal with, I am giving you some examples of everyday life. Most of these things I eventually find humorous, but for some of them, it may take a while. It's just too sad. (All names are changed for the fear that one of my classmates ever finds this. Wait, no, I really don't care. Oh well)
I was in shop class one day when this boy starts talking about how this girl was so similar to this other kid. At that, I looked up and said, "that probably has to do with the fact that they're siblings." He chuckled and said, "yah, they're brother and sister, too."
I was sitting on the porch with my friend and her little brother one day after school. We were just talking, and I mentioned that we were going to move (again) across town because of the evil land lord. I hadn't mentioned where we were going to go to, and so her little brother (who's in 6th grade) asked about five times, "where are you moving? Where are you moving?" I was trying to explain some homework to my friend, and so I ignored him the first few times, then finally looked up and said, "Poland." Now, here's the part that gets me. He looked a little bit startled and said, "Poland, where's that?"
I was in Social Studies one day talking to the only nice and respectable teacher (she's young and hasn't been corrupted by the school system yet) and we were ranting about well, republicans, when my this girl looked up. I guess she wanted to put in her 2 cents, so she said, "I would vote for the republicans, the democrats are going to destroy the economy."
"No, I said, I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. "
"No, Clinton was a republican, and we want people like him to stay in office." Eh, interesting, anyway.
In the class above my brother there are the people who we call the tribe. They have money, soccer moms, and a lot of beer. Last year most of them graduated, leaving us in peace, and one of the girls went to a women's college somewhere in Virginia. When writing to her mom, she dolefully reported, "the worst part is, there are no boys here!" Yep, Vermont's cream of the crop.
The morning before our social studies test, most of our class sat around in little groups trying to study. I was at my locker when I heard this kid say, "why do we have to learn about this Proclamation of 1763 stuff anyway?" At that, one of the 7th graders added, "so that the black people won't still be in charge of the county." Oh dear, oh dear, dear, dear. Come on people, if you are going to be racist, at least get the history right! I mean, jeez, the Proclamation of 1763 passed before the Revolutionary War, some, oh, 90 years before the Civil War where they GOT THEIR FREEDOM. I am so proud of these people.
I was sitting in art class one morning when the subject of anorexia came up. They looked at me and asked the difference between anorexia and bulimia. I explained, only for this one kid to look up and say, "I think I had anorexia one time, I ate something but then had to throw up."
One time near the end of the day, (with a nice teacher who discusses corps with me,) this girl was being incredibly annoying and our teacher, looking up, commented, "I wonder how her parents deal with her." My friend smiled and said, "I've met her parents; they drink." I thought that it was hilarious, and proceeded to laugh for the next ten minutes. (That's not a bad thing, I just thought it was funny.)
This abstinence group came to our school for the middle schoolers to have an assembly. (More on how it severely pissed me off on a later date.) When they were done, they asked for questions. This kid, not necessarily known for his intelligence, raised his hand and asked, "do you guys give out condoms?"
I was talking to this kid in my class when he started telling me about someone who he really didn't like. I asked him what was wrong with the kid, and he said, "lets put it this way, he asked my brother if he bought his clothing with food stamps." Doh.
I should have written this a couple of days ago when I was really pissed off, but I won't let that stop me from being angry. You'd think that by the 9th grade kids would have a basic definition of what you should say, and what is more appropriately a "happy head thought". No such luck.
There are two kids who I usually hang out with, friends, I think people usually called them. We were standing around after band the other day when I had one of those conversations that led to my extreme frustration with the human race. One of the kids came up and said, "I think that we should give ourselves black nicknames." What? Other kid: "Yea, that would be cool. You can be Home-dog, you can be Ace, and I can be Whitey." What the fuck? "Yea, hey Whitey." WHAT THE...
Now it was my turn to look completely disgusted and say something along the lines of, "how about not." Other kid One: "Why not, it's ok to be stereotypical when nobody's around." Huh? "Um, no, it's not. You never know who's going to be offended, it's never ok to use stereotypes." You have to understand that at this point it took all of my natural energy not to call them racists and be done with it. Apparently they didn't get out of my disgusted facial expressions that I was offended. "Why not, nobody's going to be offended or anything." I probably should have been a little more explanatory here, but I did my best under the circumstances. "Stereotypes, whether people are there to listen or not, increase the instability and inequality with people everywhere. If you continue using them them, it increases the gap between races and creates a boundary saying 'these are black words, or these are white words.'" "What? Have you ever heard a white guy use those names?" "I've never heard a black person say them either, and even if I did it wouldn't matter." "Well, it's true, only black people use those names." This went on for a few more minutes, with me continuing to explain why they shouldn't say that stuff and Other Kid One trying to explain how it didn't matter.
I didn't mind explaining this to Other Kid One, (even if it pissed me off that he didn't know these small things in the first place), I did, however, mind what Other Kid Two proceeded to do. After I was CLEARLY angry at the situation, (which hadn't escalated) and under usual circumstances I don't get angry quickly, he continued to say, "come on, Whitey," several times."
This is what drives me insane. Fourteen year old kids do not even understand about inequality, steriotypes and the fact that you do not say, "let's give ourselves black nicknames." What's worst is the fact that those kids really are a few of the smarter ones our class. They can't think for themselves, but they are at least intelligent, theoretically. The situation was eventually resolved when Other Kid One called that night and I explained myself a little more clearly/what he could figure out. He actually wanted to know, and the topic hasn't been brought up since. Does that matter? Hell, no. Fifth graders should understand what my classmates don't.
Keeping
on the same theme, I was on an almost field-trip today when a
similar situation occured with Other Kid Two. We were getting
on the bus and everything was sort of hectic, when we were trying
to take roll call. I asked if a girl, who, admittedly, is not
the easiest kid to keep sane around and really does have some
problems, was there because I was worried that she hadn't stuck
with the two girls that I thought she was with. (Could I make
that sentance any more confusing?) Other Kid Two proceeded to
look very thrilled with himself and say, "yea, we wouldn't
want to leave retard behind to seek havoc on the city." Maybe
it's just the fact that I was taught to never use the word 'retard',
or, or, wait, I think I've got it, RIGHT, maybe it's the fact
that he's an INSENSITIVE JACKASS WHO'S A PRODUCT OF HIS OWN IGNORANCE...
As with any place that you go, there were stupid people at band camp, too. Sigh. One particularly amusing case was when my friend and I were sitting at a bench. These two girls come up to us and said, "if you could raise any person from the dead who isn't related to you, who would it be?" I thought about it a second after mumbling some random people, and said, "well, Martin Luther King, Jr. would always be a classic." At this point one of the girls goes, "I don't like him, his speech was boring." It took us ten minutes to stop laughing and crying all at the same time.
I just thought this story was sad, although it involved people who I actually like.
My one friend (still at band camp), was holding a piece of paper which said "yes". She boldly declared that this was the answer to the universe. After twenty minutes of another two girls running around trying to figure out the question that the paper was answering, they finally figured it out. I didn't really care, but asked them what was the question involving the universe. Whispering into my ear, one girl said, "she likes the kid who she danced with."
I may not have been the nicest about this, but I looked up somewhat surprised and said, "that's the question involving the universe?" They nodded, saying, "that's the question to her universe." (Mean, bitter me stepping in), "That's a really sad universe."
I'm a bad person.
This is one of those stories that only my brother and I understand but is very humorous to us so I'm putting it up here.
The other night I walked into the kitchen to get some ice cream, and my brother was pouring himself some Coke. I asked him if he wanted any delectable frozen foods, and he said, "I'm actually making a coke float." I got out the ice cream and a bowl, and we were both bustling in and out trying to do the one thing we both know how to do, (make food) and then my brother looks down and says, "hmmm, spoon." I looked up briefly (it went much faster than this in reality) and said, "I'll get the spoon!" My brother was getting something else, and so added, "teamwork, it's what this family is all about." We burst into laughing at the same time and couldn't stop for 20 minutes. I'm laughing hysterically right now. He he. Good times, good times.