It seemed like an ordinary day. In all honesty, it was. A complete and utterly ordinary summer day. For someone who is anti-change, it was the kind of day that was nice. I woke, showered, dressed, checked my e-mail, stuck to the same blessed routine that I had done for the past two weeks. Yea for routines. I walked the dog, grabbing the mail on the way in. It was the same regular crap. Yea for crap. A few letters for my mom, bills, and, a letter from the high school. Hmmm, ordinary enough, I guess. I dropped it on the table for mom to fish out later. The day continued on.....
"Read this."
"Why?"
"It's from the school. It has your schedule."
"They already gave me my schedule."
"Maybe they changed it."
"I don't want to look at school stuff."
"There's a new dress code."
"Darnit."
I walked over and took the envelope, opening it hesitantly. Um, okay. The exact same schedule that they had already given me twice. Tossing it on the counter, I looked at the 'welcome' letter. Skimming down to the bottom, I found the dress code part.
Now, none of that really effects me. In fact, none of it effects me. I don't have spaghetti straps, it won't be that big of a problem not to wear tank tops, I am anti-dresses, and I don't have any drug/alcohol stuff. I read it again. Despite the fact that, at least for me, it had no relevance, I was confused never-the-less.
Let me give you a run down of my school. Half the building is boiling hot, and the other half is freezing. Intelligent people usually wear a tank top/spaghetti strap shirt, and carry a sweatshirt. (Not me, but that's okay. I prefer to simply freeze or boil and bask in my own uncomfort.) In the summer, the whole thing is extraordinarily hot. So why ban the only comftorable way to dress, you ask?
The answer is simple. Skin. Skin is evil. If people see too much of your skin, you will lose your virginity by default. The boys will become rambunctious, the girls will become sluts. Skin is the mortal enemy of all public schools. To get rid of even the possibility of showing too much of that blasted epidermis, schools must banish all styles, however comftorable for the climate, to prevent the rise of skin in the student body.
According to some other kids I talked to, skin is not to blame. They claim that it has nothing to do with skin, but sluttery; the act of looking or appearing to be a slut. Their reasons? Last year a girl was sent home for her "inappropriate attire." Wearing a spaghetti strap shirt, a short skirt, and boots that came up to her knees, she was returned to the fruitful pits of her house to change into "less revealing clothing." Also coming to school that day, was a girl who wore a spaghetti strap shirt and a short skirt, and was not told to change. The difference? Sluttery. The boot girl was showing less skin than the other one, but, simply, looked and appeared to be a slut. Demon. We must banish thee.
The school, feeling as if they have no choice but to ban all "revealing" clothing, managed to not only eradicate skin, but also have a stab at sluttery. I personally think that there will be problems. They weren't articulate enough. What they really meant to say was this:
Spread the word, my friends......