Top 10 cheesy Pagan Pickup Lines

10. Hey babe, what's your sign? What's it's ascendant? What is your planet alignment in Venus during Cancer's revolving around the Fourth House?
9. Read any good Llewellyn Books lately?
8. Would you like to come over to my place and widdershens?
7. Haven't I seen you someplace before in another life?
6. Yes, I'm handfasted, but that's not "technically" marriage.
5. So, do you draw down the moon here often?
4. What's a nymph Goddess like you doing in a place like this?
3. You have the prettiest third eye I've ever seen.
2. You're feet must be tired because you've been Spiral Dancing in my mind all night long.
And the Number One Cheezey Pick-Up Line for Pagans to Use at Beltane Gatherings is:
1. Is that a May Pole in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?


Ten Ways to Make a Pagan Mad

1. Ask them if they are Satan worshipers.
2. Be considerate, re-arrange their altar so it will look neat.
3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still day light.
4. Pick up their tools for a closer look.
5. Sharpen their dull black-handled knife.
6. Witness to them about the "true religion".
7. Untie the knots in their cord.
8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.
9. Play card games with their Tarot cards.
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshipewrs.

BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there was seen,

The footprints of the Goddess they were,

But mine were not along the shore.


But then some stranger prints appeared,

and I asked Her, "What have we here?

These prints are large and round and neat,

But much too big to be from feet."


"My child," She said in somber tones,

"For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait."


"You would not learn, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you would not know,

So I got tired, I got fed up,

And there I dropped you on your butt.


"Because in life, there comes a time

When one must fight, and one must climb,

When one must rise and take a stand,

Or leave their butt prints in the sand."


Interesting things heard said in the Pagan community:

Sned's Law: Whenever two or more Pagans get together, they will end up talking about Christianity or the Bible, as they are the only things which they can agree on.

If it's cold enough to freeze water, it's cold enough to freeze Pagans.

The only way anything is going to stop me from eating this would be if the goddess came down and specifically told me not too. And even in that case, I'd try to stuff it into my mouth before she finished her sentence.

I'm an Orthodox Discordian.

Everyone must build an altar for the Starfish Mo, Wiccan god of echinoderms.

Ask 10 Wiccans (or Pagans) what they believe, and you'll get 13 answers.

Always make sure that you have at least one colander.

When the IMU (Iowa Memorial Union) screws up and books two rooms for you, you have two meetings.

When in doubt, read anti-Pagan propaganda and do the opposite of what it says Pagans do.



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