I remember when I first laid eyes on you...
Well,when I first realized I was looking at you.
You were tall, thin, delicate...a mere flower in such a cold, harsh world.
I looked into your eyes, so lost, so lonely, so afraid...not knowing who you even WERE, or who you were becoming.
You never seemed comfortable with your surroundings, as though they accused you of your own lack of permanence
and stability.
I recorded the look I saw on your face that day...
in my mind,
in my heart...
In years to come, it would haunt me in my dreams.
I would wonder if I could have changed anything for you. You were so young, so innocent then. Now...
I still see you...
Still feel you...
Still wonder...
Still long to wrap my arms around you and comfort you...
To tell you, that it will be okay, that you ARE finding yourself, that life is a process, that the lonely little girl doesn't have to feel so alone and afraid anymore...
She's growing older, wiser, more complex and yet more simple, each day...
I watch you now, from a place that often seems much further away than it is.
I see you make decisions that once would have been impossible for you.
I see you feel pain and still keep going, never losing hope, like you once did.
You are changing, changed, forever evolving.
You always hated the stagnancy of those you believed to be emotionally immobile...
You are definitely NOT that.
I want to tell you how much I care for you...even when you feel you are alone in this still HUGE world...
I decide to go and let you know how deeply you are loved...
But first I must clean the mirror.
© L.A. Hutcherson 2000
