Khe Sanh Veterans Association Inc.

Red Clay
Newsletter of the Veterans who served at Khe Sanh Combat Base,
Hill 950, Hill 881, Hill 861, Hill 861-A, Hill 558
Lang-Vei and Surrounding Area

Issue 46   Spring Summer 2000

Poetry

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CANTICLES FROM KHE SANH

In addition to the poetry that will be published in each issue of Red Clay, I will bring you, in a little more depth, the poetry of one or more members. In this issue we will be looking at poems by Kellan Kyllo and Talis Kaminskis.

Kellan was a crew chief and gunner on a CH 46 helicopter with HMM 262. During the siege he flew resupply missions to companies on the hills and medevacs back to the base or to Dong Ha. He had never written poetry before the war. Upon return to the world, he got a degree in Animal Sciences from the University of Minnesota and worked a dairy farm for ten years until he was forced to deal with PTSD. It was at the VA hospital that he first started writing. Those poems resulted in a book of poetry, "Where Light is Darkness" which was published by the New Sweden Press in 1991. Poetry was his catharsis, a way, as he says, to "get out the feelings."

His poetry is characterized by deep emotion and an ability to write a short, direct strike to the truth. In "Morning Chow" and "The Vietnam Obstacle Course," he brings us right back to those sudden moments of terror and the ironies of the deaths of friends.

Morning Chow

A sniper bullet came through the mess tent.
Someone from Indiana was hit in the temple and died.

The Vietnam Obstacle Course

The first week
Some guys got killed.
Others waited Until
They were ready to go home.

In a later poem, "They Watched Television Together," Kellan gives the reader some idea of PTSD. All of us have had a friend like this.

 

They Watched Television Together

Late at night The house was still and quiet.
His best friend,
Killed In Vietnam
Sat on the sofa with him
And shared
Only a glance and a few words.

My favorite poem by Kellan is "Retirement." In the poem he manages to truthfully and powerfully express his coming to terms with the war and his life today. He is one of the lucky ones: married for twenty-nine years with four children.

Retirement

by Kellan Kyllo

When the emotions of war
 finally started to slow down inside him
he sold his guns,
and then soon after that
he began to forgive all the people
who had ever done him wrong,
and he prayed for each of them daily.
The next Spring he went into his backyard
for the first time in twenty-five years
and planted a garden.
He grew tomatoes
and gave them away to everyone.

Talis Kaminskis started writing prose and poetry the day he got out of the Marine Corps. He bad been wounded in Vietnam and spent time with his wounds and PTSD in a VA hospital. He got his college degree at Gosben College after his hospital stay. After Vietnam, be met his wife and they have been married twenty-six years and have two boys. He was with CAC Oscar 3 when be was at Khe Sanh

Ski's poetry is not as direct as Kellan's It is more subtle in its approach and is characterized by visual, as well as poetic, effects. It has a power all its own which is wrapped in a dreamlike gentleness. This first poem expresses that.

 

Gentle person thy concert is there
Who took your brothers life
Music was made by men who know
How best to write the notes
A shot, a shell a burst and sound
Whistle the song of death

The Chorus is sung by men
 who never Could carry a tune before
Conductors appear to lead the parade

But only from afar
Lest they be touched
with the notes of the song
That they themselves have wrote

In the next poem we can see a picture of Ski's vision of PTSD.

 

Desperately seeking, my eyes are searching
waiting for a war without end
to end

Nights lay waking, heart is trembling
waiting for a war without end
to end

In darkness arc fought, battles of hope
waiting for a 'war without end
to end

Daylights fleeting, hopes and dreams are seeking
waiting for a war without end
to end

On time worn faces, familiar tears leave traces
waiting for a war without end
to end

Arms held empty, rock their loads gently
waiting for a war without end
to end

Alone I do last, living a long past
waiting for a war without end
to end

I'm waiting, I'm waiting, Still I am waiting
waiting for a war without end
to end

For a war without end to end

And finally, we can see his version of the resolution of the war and his life.

Listen, Listen close there is a voice for each and every name

a silent picture for a distant friend

a memory shared with subdued words

timeless conversations easing the pain

of loss left behind

yet carried where weary feet

drag through the passage of time

And its sudden stopping

imparting a message to the stunned

the living those stumbling for meaning

crying in their relief

mourning the loss

Avoiding the answer

of when

of who

of why

Tomorrow or today Tomorrow or today

for some even yesterday

And then there is the future

the utterance of all

Of companionship

And Love

 

Both Kellan and Ski have found writing a way to dispel the inner demons. In talking with them I was struck by how gentle each of them is and how much they find of value in their lives today. Ski loves to watch the wild birds that come to his fields and Kellan loves to walk the out doors. Two fine poets among our brothers.

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