Chapter 3: Don't Want You Back

Melanie

"Which one is the most accurate?" I asked the pharmacist. I was nervous and felt like I was going to throw up. I wish that I had brought someone with me to buy this stupid thing. But anyone that I wanted to bring couldn't know about it. At least not yet, and maybe, not ever.
"Well, I think the Women's Health brand is the most accurate, but it's also the most expensive. Is that alright with you?" The lady that was helping me was so friendly and I think she could tell that I was scared.
"Yeah, that's fine." I gulped down the saliva that was now filling my mouth non-stop. I was afraid that I was going to throw up right there in the Eckerd's Pharmacy. That would be so embarrassing.
"Okay, just come over here and I'll check you out." The woman led me to the counter and started to ring up the package.
"Oh, crap," I said. I knew right then I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom. I looked for the nearest trash can and lunged for it. I just barely made it.
"Honey? Are you feeling alright? Would you like some help?" The woman was so nice. I let her lead me to a chair and sit me down.
"I think I feel better now." I smiled and tried to get up.
"Well, have you been throwing up regularly?"
"Just this morning," I said, taking the tissue that she was offering me. "I threw up a couple times."
"Morning sickness is a common symptom of pregnancy." She handed me the pregnancy test that she had rung up. "Here, it's on me." She smiled at me reassuringly.
"Thank you." I threw the tissue into the trashcan. "Thank you so much for all of your help." I waved and made my way out of the store.
I barely made it to my car before I threw up again.
"Why can't my life be easier? Why do I always have to screw up?" I was yelling to nobody, and yet I was screaming the questions at myself. I knew that this pregnancy test was only going to show up positive, which would only lead to more trouble.
I sat in my car, my head on the steering wheel, and cried for a few minutes. But eventually I had to suck it up and drive back to the hotel. I couldn't let anyone see me, especially not Brian or AJ. Neither of them could know yet.
I felt bad about sleeping with AJ, but I loved him so much! But I felt even worse when the next day, I did the same with Brian. I felt like a little slut! And that's all that I was. A slut. Just like my mother.
My mother had slept with several different men, producing eight different children from eight different fathers. I didn't get along with any of my half-brothers and sisters. I think it was all out of bitterness. I never wanted to be like my mother. It's just that Brian is so good to me, but I love AJ too.
I drove to the hotel in a blur, not really paying attention to traffic lights or stop signs. All I could see in my mind's eye was the little red plus sign that was going to show up on that pregnancy test. With all my heart I prayed that I would not be pregnant.
As soon as I made it safely to my hotel room, I locked the door and went straight to the bathroom.
"Okay, Melanie," I said to myself, looking at myself in the mirror. "Here comes the moment that could forever change your life."

Chapter 4
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