Hey Aaron
Story by Anonymous
~~*Chapter Two- March 2000*~~
March 2, 2000, Thursday
Dear Journal,
I think this idea is really gay and dumb. But Bri said it was
a good idea to write in this journal to calm my hurt and angry feelings. I dunno
if this works, but oh well. Anyway, I think I should tell you who I am just in
case someone is reading this now in the future. My name is Nickolas Gene Carter,
but I prefer to be called Nick. I am twenty years old and I have blond hair and
blue eyes. My height is 6'1, and I'd rather not say my weight. I don't think you
care. Well anyway, I guess I'm your average 'Joe'...I love to play basketball
and hang out with my friend, Brian Littrell, ya know, the guy who told me to
write in this dumb book. Well, the weird thing about me is that I'm a famous
musician. I've been singing and performing practically my entire life. I love
performing and singing. It's like the best feeling in the world. The only thing
I hate about being famous is all the annoying fans and the tabloids. It's like
those Big Brother-type shows that always watch your every move. I hate that. I
wish I were just a normal person. Sometimes I just want to scream at everyone. I
like being in the spotlight, but sometimes, enough is enough. I wish I could
just go out on a regular date without the press or fans or whatever, stalking
me. It's just not fair. Well, I gotta go. Time to rehearse. Peace out.
Nick
March 11, 2000, Friday
Dear
Journal,
Hey! What's up? I know it's kinda stupid to say hi to a book,
but I don't care. I'm feeling better than I was when I wrote the last time. I
finally broke up with my girlfriend!!! I know you're supposed to be sad and
heartbroken, but really, she was just a shallow girl that was just hanging
around me for the fame and fortune. I hated her really, but I was so alone I
would have dated anyone. She always cheated on me behind my back and called me
names like 'son of a bitch'. I feel so much better. It's like, chains that were
holding me back are now broken.
You know, sometimes I envy Bri and Kev (he's my bandmate and friend) 'cause they are happily married and stuff like that. They are always happy to see their wives and it kinda gives me a warm feeling whenever I see Bri and Leighanne or Kev and Kristin. But sometimes I feel like I'll never find love like they did. Sometimes love is disguised, as well as hate. I hope I will be as happy as Bri and Kev are.
Anyway, like I said, I'm pretty happy today. I dunno why, but a good and confident feeling washed over me since I broke up with my girlfriend. I think everyone's been noticing my happy feeling. For instance, I've been giving my mom more frequent hugs, I'm bothering my friend and bandmate Howie Dorough less often, and I'm being A LITTLE bit nicer to my younger bro, Aaron. I think that my ex-girlfriend was the source of my bitter and angry feelings. I'm glad that everyone's happy with me again. Peace out.
Nick
March 20, 2000, Monday
Dear
Journal,
I'm not in a great mood today. Of course, the fact that
today's Monday really takes out the happiness outta me. But that's why I'm not
that happy. It's not as if I'm angry...just...hurt. Not because of someone I
know, but because of people I DON'T know. Ya know that's weird. People you don't
know make fun of you more than people you DO know. Also, strangers' remarks hurt
more than friends' remarks. I guess I should tell you what I'm talking about.
During my free time, while we weren't busy, I was checking out some Backstreet Boys sites. I know, I know, that's a little vain and self-centered. But I wasn't checking out sites because I wanted to see how everyone liked me, just to, ya know, see what people think about us. And, well, I guess because I wanna see how everyone liked me. Hehe. Well anyway, there was this site...I don't remember what it was called...but anyway, there was this link. It said 'The Nick Conspiracy'. Of course, I wanted to know what kind of conspiracy I was in. What I saw made me sick to my stomach. Fans...I guess...had written stuff about me. Stuff that really hurt me. They made fun of my weight. Yeah, yeah, I know, guys aren't supposed to think about how they look, but my weight is a very delicate subject. I know I'm not rail thin like AJ (another one of my bandmates), but I didn't think I was that bad. They called me Pillsbury Dough Nick. I was so hurt that tears sprang in my eyes. They also called me gay. I was really torn apart by that. It's like no one understands that I am a real human being and that I have actual feelings. I couldn't take it any longer. I turned off my laptop and threw it across the room. I felt sick to my stomach. Well, I have to go. Time for me to rehearse.
Nick
Chapter Three
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