Chapter 8...Chapter 8...
Chi San: Fei? It’s me. Where are you? Are you free? Come down to Chez Maman and have a drink with me.
At Chez Maman…
Fei: San Gor, you must have called me to come down here for a reason, right?
Chi San: (Suddenly) I missed Tong Sum. I was feeling upset.
Fei: I don’t call myself your best friend for nothing. It’s Man, isn’t it?
Chi San: No, I told you, it’s Tong Sum. Not Man. No. It can never be Man. Never again.
Fei: Huh?
Chi San: (shook his head confusedly, the alcohol was affecting him) I don’t know what I am talking about! I don’t know what I am doing!
Chi San: Damnit.
Fei: Calm down. You’re not helping yourself here. Here, drink some water.
Chi San: Fei, I’m sorry. I never lost control before; I don’t know what came over me.
Fei: San Gor, I understand. It IS because of Man, isn’t it?
Chi San: Not now, Fei. Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies.
Fei: Well then. (raised his glass) Here’s to us, losers in love.
Chi San: (managed a weak smile) I’m not going to drink to that. We are no losers. At least, I’m not a loser.
Fei shook his head and smiled. Signaling the waiter, he asked for another glass of wine. And so, the two friends sat side by side, quietly drinking. For silence is golden.
Chi San: I told you not to drink so much! You wouldn’t listen to me!
Fei: (slurring his words) I’m *burp* okay. Really. I didn’t drive here. I’m going to *burp* walk home.
Chi San: Are you sure? You don’t look too good. Maybe I should accompany you home. I’ll call Ching Ching to prepare some hot water.
Fei: No. (grabbing Chi San’s handphone) Don’t call Ching Ching. I’m not going back home tonight. I’m going to *burp* Kwan…
Fei: I guess I overdid it, huh?
Chi San: (shaking his head) You’ll never learn, Fei. Where are you going exactly?
Fei: Back to the apartment Kwan and I were supposed to share. I don’t want to see Ching Ching.
Chi San sighed. He had thought that Fei was mad when he bought the expensive apartment. But he was finally seeing why he bought it. It was like a kind of sanctuary to Fei. Just like the cemetery was a kind of sanctuary to him at times.
Fei: I’ll be okay. You go on home.
Chi San watched Fei swayed unsteadily down the road. He knew that Fei wouldn’t accept any help from him, he was that stubborn. Chi San shook his head and got into his car. He wasn’t looking forward to his sure-to-be sleepless night.
Fei leaned against a lamppost tiredly. His head was aching horribly.I have to get home. But where? Which direction? Damn, I really shouldn’t have drunk so much. He was starting to feel dizzy. Wow, look at those stars. Really bright…Fei slumped down on the road, half conscious.
Meanwhile…
Quin: Sir? Sir, are you…
Quin: Oh my God, Fei, what happened to you? Why did you drink so much, you idiot?
Fei: Gee, bright stars. Kwan loves stars…
Quin: Come on, I’m taking you home to Ching Ching. Which way, your house or Ching Ching’s?
Fei: No, I don’t want to see Ching Ching. I don’t want to go home. San Gor…
Quin looked around her helplessly. Now what? A voice sounded within her. Take him home with you. Man left for the Teachers’ Convention in Malaysia earlier, remember? Another voice spoke. Are you crazy? Take him to your home? No way, Mo Chiu Kwan. You are out of your mind. The first voice argued: Are you going to leave him here? Then: Take him to Ching Ching. She’s his girlfriend; you’re not, not anymore. She’ll look after him. The first voice sounded again: You don’t even know where Ching Ching is. Look after him and shipped him back tomorrow. He doesn’t look too good. The second voice relented. Okay, you win. Quin heaved Fei’s arm around her shoulders.
Quin: Boy, you sure are heavy.
Fei: San Gor? When did you start to have long hair?
Quin: I’m not Chi San, you idiot. Just let me help you here…
Fei looked up blearily. He saw a dark shape, and hair. He reached up to touch that hair. It was smooth and silky, definitely not Chi San’s hair. Then who is this? He strained to see clearer. A pair of eyes, clouded with worry. A nose. A mouth. He pieced the face together, but his head ached too much. He couldn’t think clearly. It is a woman. Kwan? Could it be? Nah, I drank too much. It’s getting really dark. Time to sleep…Fei burped and slipped into unconsciousness.
Quin: Arghhh!!
Somehow, she managed to push him into her car, got him upstairs to the apartment and dumped him on the couch. She quickly prepared some hot water and a towel.
Fei: (regaining consciousness as Quin started to wipe his face) Kwan? Am I dreaming?
Quin: You were half dead on the road. You are so stupid. Don’t drink so much if you can’t handle it.
Fei: Kwan, no. Don’t leave me.
Quin: You’re drunk. Let me get you another towel.
Fei: No. I don’t need anything, not another towel, not anything. All I needed is you.
Quin: Don’t do this, Fei. Don’t make it any harder for me.
Fei pulled Quin to him, holding her hand tightly. With his other hand, he stroked her cheek lightly.
Fei: (in a whisper) Kwan.
Maybe she missed him so much. Or maybe she couldn’t hold back her love anymore. Whatever the reason was, Quin didn’t push Fei away when he leaned forward. He touched her lips with his. Quin didn’t resist. She wrapped her arms around him as Fei’s lips moved gently against hers. Fei’s arms wound around her waist. Fei never felt more alive in these 2 years. He was holding his Kwan, and kissing her. After a long moment, Fei pulled back and looked at Quin, memorizing every detail of her face.
Quin: Fei, I…
She was cut off in mid-sentence as Fei put his mouth on hers again. They kissed again, more passionately. In between kisses, Fei murmured softly to Quin: “I love you.” Quin didn’t answer, but her arms tightened around Fei as their kisses deepened. Every emotion they had been holding back surged forward. Their love washed over them like a tidal wave. They tightened their arms around each other, only aware of each other, the feel of each other.
Chi San unlocked his apartment door. He switched on a light and threw his coat over the arm of his chair. He retreived a beer from his refrigerator and opened it. Emotions surged in him. He couldn’t deny it. He still had feelings for Man. Strong feelings. Anger shot through him and he slammed down his beer can. No, I cannot think about Man. Tong Sum will be my only true love. I cannot betray her memory. I will not get involved with Man. Chi San looked up to see his and Tong Sum’s wedding picture. If only you didn’t leave me, Tong Sum. Now I wouldn’t be so lost and confused. He walked to the wedding picture touched Tong Sum’s smiling face, glowing with light and love. Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave me alone here? Chi San closed his eyes and sank down beneath the picture. He buried his face in his hands. His head ached terribly. The faces swam in his mind; Man and Tong Sum. Tong Sum and Man. He couldn’t stand it. He had to get out of here. Grabbing his coat and handphone, he ran out of his apartment. When he reached his car, he punched a number in his handphone.
Fei: Are you going to say anything, or just keep drinking?
(Chi San ignored him and drank another glass of wine.)
(In a burst of anger, Chi San threw his wineglass across the room. Luckily, it was quite late and there were no other customers in the restaurant. Sam (the waiter) quickly swept up the broken pieces without a word.)
(Chi San accepted the glass of water and downed its contents. His head began to clear.)
(Fei leaned over and vommitted.)
Quin was driving home, thinking about one of her clients. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw a dark shape slumped down on the street. Quin immediately stopped her car and got out to help.
(Her voice trailed off. The man was Fei.)
(Quin helped Fei up.)
(Fei struggled to sit up.)
(Quin got up to change the water. Fei caught her hand.)
(Fei tightened his grip. Quin looked at him, tears in her eyes.)
So Chi San finally realised that Man still has a place in his heart. What will he do next? What will happen to Fei and Quin now that they have reached the turning point in their relationship? Will Fei be forced to choose again, or will Quin back out?
Back to MAIN
Yong June-Ling
Copyright 2001