Chapter 9...

Quin awoke to find her head resting on a broad chest, with somebody’s arms around her. Half groggy, she pushed herself up and saw Fei, still sleeping. Shock jolted through Quin. What happened? Oh my God, what did I do? She saw a pile of clothes on the floor. I didn’t…we didn’t…oh, no. She quickly glanced down at her body. She only had on a T-shirt. Fei, like her, was barely dressed. Her memory hit her. She had spent the night together with Fei. Still drowsy, she tried to recall last night’s events. He was drunk, I brought him home, and then we started kissing, one thing lead to another and then… Quin felt terribly guilty. You jerk. How can you do this to Ching Ching? Quin ran into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. She will never forgive herself for this mistake.

Fei woke up with a start. He glanced around him. Where am I? What is this place? He struggled to recall what happened last night. I was drinking with San Gor and I drank too much. What happened after that? His memory jolted him. Kwan. I was with Kwan yesterday night. He remembered now. He had kissed her; she hadn’t pushed him away. They’d hugged and kissed and…what? Fei saw a pile of clothes on the floor and he knew what had happened. What now? Fei thought tiredly. How was he going to face Quin after their night together? But one thing is for sure. I’m not going to let her get away from me again. Another voice sounded. What about Ching Ching? Fei angrily banished that voice. He needed to talk to Quin first. Then he can figure out what to do. Fei quickly got dressed and walked slowly to the bathroom. Quin came out and nearly barrelled into him. They looked away, afraid to meet each other’s eyes.

Quin: I…I…don’t know what to say. It was a mistake. My mistake. You were drunk and I…I never mean to…I didn’t want to…

Fei: I may have drunk more than I can handle, but what I did last night wasn’t from the effects of alcohol. Kwan, don’t you know my feelings for you by now?

Quin: You were drunk last night. You love Ching Ching. You have Ching Ching.

Fei: No, Kwan, listen to me. I love you! I really and truly do love you.

Quin: No, I won’t listen to you. You cannot. You cannot love me. You are supposed to love Ching Ching. I won’t let you hurt her!

Fei: I don’t love Ching Ching. I love you.

Quin: (covered her ears with her hands) Don’t say it again. Don’t.

Fei: (took a step nearer to Quin) I love you, Kwan.

Quin looked at Fei through tear-filled eyes. His lower lip was trembling. Bursting into tears, Quin rushed forward and threw her arms around Fei. Immediately, Fei’s arms tightened themselves around her.

Fei: I won’t leave you, Kwan. And I won’t let you leave me.

As she hugged Fei, guilt surged through Quin. What the hell am I doing? She eased herself from Fei’s arms.

Quin: Fei, no. I’m sorry.

Fei: (hurt clouded his face) Kwan, please…

Quin: (her voice growing stronger) I said, NO, Fei. Remember what you promised me? You promised to take care of Ching Ching. You promised not to let her suffer, not to let her be unhappy again.

Fei: But…

Quin: No buts, Fei. Live up to your promise as a man. What happened between us last night (Quin looked away) was a big mistake, on my part. I never should’ve let it happened. It will destroy Ching Ching if she knew.

Fei: (reaching out for Quin) I can’t go on without you! I need you. I love you.

Quin: (stepping back) If one person has to suffer and sacrifice, let it be me. Ching Ching can’t afford to be hurt again. Please, Fei, I’m begging you. Go back to Ching Ching. Let me get on with my life. Without you.

Fei: Kwan, please, no.

Quin: (looked away, struggling to keep her tears from flowing) Leave, Fei. Leave now. We could never be together. You know that, I know that. There’s no point dragging this.

Fei never felt so helpless. What Quin said was right. But he loved her so much. How could he bear just to walk away like that? But he had no choice. He owed Ching Ching too much. Ching Ching was a dancer. And because of him, she lost her leg. And with it, she lost her career and her dream. Picking up his coat, he walked toward Quin. He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Fei: I just want you to know, I will always love you. Forever.

With that, Fei quietly walked out of the apartment. He never felt so much pain. Tears coursed down his cheeks. And inside the apartment, Quin crumpled into a heap on the floor as she dissolved into tears.

Chi San: Fei! You’re okay! I tried to call you since yesterday, bu I couldn’t get through. Did you know how worried I was? Where did you go? I went to your, err, apartment, but I didn’t see you.

Fei: (in a very depressed mood) I spent the night at Kwan’s place. She took me home after I passed out by the street.

Chi San: (in a surprised tone) In Quin’s apartment? Did you…have you…?
(Fei nodded tiredly.)

Chi San: So what are you going to do now?

Fei: When I picked Ching Ching, I knew that I’ve chosen a road that will hurt me. But I didn’t expect it to hurt this much. Kwan rejected me. She said we couldn’t hurt Ching Ching, what happened last night was a mistake. I have no choice.

Chi San: No, Fei, you’re wrong. You have a choice. You can choose Quin. But you are burden by responsibility and guilt and same goes for Quin. If you could only learn how to let go…

Fei: That’s just it. I couldn’t let go. I will never forgive myself if anything happened to Ching Ching if I leave her.

Chi San: But don’t you think Ching Ching deserve to be with a man that will love her back?

Fei looked at Chi San, speechless. He couldn’t answer his friend’s question.

Man: I’m home! The Convention was great! A really valuble experience! I…
(Man saw Quin on the floor, sobbing.)

Man: Quin! Quin, are you okay?

Quin: (looked up and instantly reached out to Man) Man…I…

Man: Quin, please stop crying.
(Man helped Quin up and seated her on the couch. She quickly made some hot tea and placed the steaming cup in front of Quin.)

Man: Drink this. (Quin obeyed, drinking the hot tea) Are you feeling calmer?

Quin: (nodded) I…I…think so.

Man: Now, what happened? Tell me.

Quin: Fei…Fei and I…oh, Man, why does it hurt so much? I knew it would end this way. I’m just digging my own hole for me to fall into.

Man: Quin…start explaining. What happened?

Quin: I took Fei home yesterday night. He was drunk. I never meant for anything to happen. I just only wanted to take care of him. But when he kissed me…I couldn’t help myself. My brain kept telling me to push him away, but my heart told me to follow it, to kiss him back.

Man: You mean, you two…?

Quin: (nodded miserably) It was such a huge mistake. And to pay for it, I have to nurse a broken heart, yet again.

Man: I can’t believe it. You mean, he just took off without saying anything?

Quin: No. No. He actually was thinking of leaving Ching Ching. He said he loves me.

Man: Let me guess. You wouldn’t let him leave Ching Ching.

Quin: I won’t hurt Ching Ching.

Man: Quin, get over it! You kept thinking of no one else but Ching Ching. What about you? What about Fei? Do you think Fei will be happy with a woman he doesn’t love?

Quin: Ching Ching cannot get hurt again. It will kill her. All she has left is Fei. I, I still have my career.

Man: Oh, Quin, I still think you have the wrong concept, but…(reached out to hug Quin) my poor friend. No one deserves to suffer like this. No one.

Man briefly thought of Chi San. She immediately brushed him aside. She didn’t want to think of anything else now except how to comfort Quin. Quin cried on Man’s shoulder. It was so torturing for her. She loves Fei and he loves her. But their love was never meant to be.

It seems like the end for Fei and Quin and their love. But is it REALLY the end? Can they hold back their strong love for each other for the rest of their lives? And will Chi San tell Man how he really feels about her?

Chapter 10...

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