Chapter 15...

Ching Ching paced. Fei hadn’t shown up since he ran out of the apartment after he received Chi San’s phone call. He didn’t even call her. She didn’t like this at all. Suddenly, the phone rang loudly. Ching Ching immediately grabbed the reciever.

Ching Ching: (hopefully) Fei?

Voice: Um…is Eileen there?

Ching Ching: (snapped) Wrong number, idiot!

She slammed down the phone and resumed her pacing. She picked up the phone again and dialed Fei’s number. “We’re sorry, the number…” Ching Ching threw the phone across the room in anger. Damnit. Suddenly, she had an idea. Picking up the phone, she dialed Chi San’s number. Moments later…”

Chi San: (wearily) Hello.

Ching Ching: Kong Chi San?

Chi San: (paused) Who is on the line?

Ching Ching: It’s…Ching Ching.
(She held her breath, hoping that Chi San won’t hang up on her.)

Chi San: (paused again) What do you want?

Ching Ching: Where is Fei?

Chi San: (hesitated) He’s…at the Hong Kong Hospital.

Ching Ching: Hospital!?! Is anything wrong?

Chi San: Not him. It’s…(a babble of voices) sorry, but I have to go. You talk to Fei yourself when you have the chance. But I assure you he’s all right.
(The phone went dead. Ching Ching stared disbelivingly at the phone. Despite Chi San’s words, she couldn’t help worrying. She grabbed bag and dashed out of the door.)

At the hospital…
Ching Ching walked along the halls self-consciously. She didn’t have a clue on how to find Fei. Suddenly, she saw Gigi and Korean talking near the vending machine.

Ching Ching: Gigi, Korean.
(They turned around and saw Ching Ching.)

Korean: (surprised) Ching Ching.

Ching Ching: Where is Fei? Chi San told me he is here.

Gigi: (cleared her throat) He’s at the Intensive-Care Unit.

Ching Ching: What? Are you playing a bad joke on me?

Korean: (hurriedly) It’s not Fei Gor. It’s… Miss Mo.

Ching Ching: (shocked) What happened to that Quin?

Gigi: (shortly) Miss Mo was kidnapped. Her kidnapper shot her.

Ching Ching: What kidnapper? What happened?

Korean: (look over his shoulder) I’m sorry, Ching Ching, we can’t talk any longer. We are needed back at the station. Come on, Gigi.

Ching Ching: Wait…

Korean and Gigi hurried away, they didn’t look back. Slowly, Ching Ching took a lift to the Intensive Care Unit. She paused outside the unit that read “Mo Chiu Kwan”. She looked in the glass window and saw Fei beside Quin’s bed. He was holding her hand and was talking to her. As Ching Ching watched, Fei touched Quin’s cheek and wiped a tear from his eye. Fei’s face crumpled with anguish as he bowed his head. Ching Ching continued to stare at the emotional scene. Pain stabbed at her heart. She couldn’t watch anymore. Tears blinding her eyes, she turned and walked away.

Ching Ching walked. She didn’t know where she was going. All she did was continue walking, tears pouring down her cheeks. Somehow, she found herself in a park. She sank down on a bench and wept. Seeing Fei’s evident love for Quin, love that he never had for her was so painful. It’s over. I’m losing him, she realized. Perhaps she had already lost him long ago. I should have seen it all along. The 567 letters itself were proof. It proved that Fei could never let go of Quin. Why? Ching Ching thought. She couldn’t win. She just couldn’t win. Witnessing Fei’s pain and heartache over Quin in the hospital was more than she can bear. She recalled her hard words to Quin and cringed. How could she have been so cruel? It wasn’t Quin’s fault that Fei loves her. Just like it isn’t Fei’s fault I suffered for him. I’ve kept two people in love apart. And for what? Ching Ching’s tears stopped as she pondered. Maybe I can still do something right. I should step out. I should have done so long ago. But am I strong enough? Strong enough to let go of someone I love so much? Fei will never leave me. I knew it. I can keep him by me by stressing on the incident of my leg. I still can have him. Ching Ching’s thoughts were in a jumble. She didn’t know what she should do. She loved Fei so much. How could she just let go? Suddenly, Ching Ching recalled an incident that happened when she was 5 years old.

*~*~*FLASHBACK*~*~*

Ching Ching: Mummy! Mummy! Look, I found this little doggie.

CC’s Mum: Ching Ching, where did you find him? And why is your knee bleeding?

Ching Ching: In the drain. I cut my knee trying to rescue him.

CC’s Mum: (looking at the dog’s collar) Ching Ching, darling, this doggie belongs to someone else. You should take it back.

Ching Ching: (petulantly) But I found it! I even hurt myself trying to save it! Besides, (hugging the puppy) I love it so much. I want to keep it.

CC’s Mum: But you will hurt the doggie’s owner.

Ching Ching: (stubbornly) He should look after the doggie better.

CC’s Mum: (gently) Even if you keep this doggie, it wouldn’t love you as it loves it real owner. The doggie’s heart belongs to its owner. Staying with you won’t make it happy. It will only miss its owner. Someday, you will find a doggie just for you. Look, the doggie is whining and looking for its owner. Loving doesn’t mean owning, Ching Ching. Take the doggie back.

Ching Ching: (confused) Mummy, I don’t understand. If you don’t own something, how can you love it?

CC’s Mum: (kissing Ching Ching) You will someday, darling. Now, mummy always taught you to be honest. Make the doggie happy. Return it to its owner.

*~*~*END OF FLASHBACK*~*~*

Ching Ching smiled as she recalled the memory. She understood her mother’s words of wisdom now. Ching Ching finally saw and understood the errors of her ways. If she truly loved Fei, she would want him to be happy. And Quin can make him happy. She can make Fei’s physical self stay beside her, but his heart will always be with Quin. She was only hurting herself, Fei and Quin by being stubborn and selfish. Besides, Quin needed him more than ever now. I, Leung Ching Ching used to be a strong and self-reliant woman. I AM a strong woman. Fei had taken care of me for two long years. I can learn to be independent. I don’t need Fei anymore. Someone needs him more than I do. And he needs that someone more than he needs me. Ching Ching stood up. She couldn’t pretend that she was okay. She was upset. It was a painful decision. But she felt…free. Her heart lightened. She knew what she should do.

Fei continued to sit by Quin’s side. Dimly, a voice inside his head told him to call Ching Ching. But he felt weary. I’m not in the mood to fight with her again. A voice inside his head sounded. You have to break up with Ching Ching. You know that, right? Fei started. He never thought about that. He struggled to think clearly. I have to break up with Ching Ching. It’s time for me to be fair. Fair to Ching Ching, Kwan and myself. Fei sighed. He remembered Chi San’s question. “But don’t you think Ching Ching deserve to be with a man that will love her back?” Fei now knew that Chi San was right. Ching Ching deserved to be with a man that loves her. He couldn’t give Ching Ching happiness because he didn’t love her anymore. Additionally, he brought Ching Ching pain because of his constant mood swings. He chose Ching Ching because he felt guilty, and responsible for everything she suffered.

At that time, he was truly happy with Ching Ching’s return and he had honestly thought that he could forget Quin, and love Ching Ching again. He thought that he and Ching Ching could build a happy life together. But he soon found that Quin remained on his mind constantly. He couldn’t hug Ching Ching without thinking of Quin; he couldn’t kiss Ching Ching without missing Quin. He frequented visits to “their” apartment, recalling old memories, and looking at photos. And then he knew that he couldn’t offer Ching Ching love and devotion. His love was for another woman. But I will always take care of Ching Ching and provide for her. It was the least he could do; owing to the pain he was about to bring her. Why didn’t I realize this earlier? I wasted two years. And it took a terrible tragedy for me to realise what I have been doing wrong. Fei thought. Well, it was time he stopped being blind and stupid. He could only hope that Ching Ching will understand. He looked back at Quin. Please wake up soon. Give me a chance to love you again. Suddenly, his cellphone rang loudly startling him from his thoughts. A soft voice emitted from the phone.

Ching Ching: Fei…it’s Ching Ching. I knew what happened. Can you meet me at the hospital cafeteria?

Fei and Ching Ching had finally come to their senses and realised that their relationship wasn’t going to work. Fei is free to love Quin, but when will Quin recover from her coma?

*Note to Chi San-Man fans: I’ll continue their story in the next chapter. Sorry I’ve neglected them!*

Chapter 16...

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