Chapter 13 That woke up early and picked up where they had left off the night before, kisses and touches promising more when Lance said, "Sorry, baby, we gotta get going.  We have to be at the office by nine and we definitely both need a shower." Justin smiled briefly and then asked, "Could we just stay here for a few more minutes and talk?  I need to tell you something." Lance nodded, nervous about the content, watching Justin's face grow sad.  Justin spoke softly, "The AIDS thing....." Lance waited and when Justin didn't continue, he asked, "Do you think you're HIV+?" "I don't know," Justin sighed, "I haven't cared up till now.  But I met you and I knew I had to find out and I went for the test and I didn't tell anyone, even JC, and I thought I would get the results sooner and I am so fucking scared." The words ended in a rush and Lance felt the shiver go through the younger boy and he pulled Justin close and rubbed his back, leaning his cheek on the fluffy curls.  He wanted to say the right thing but he didn't know what it was.  So he held him and felt the trembling and just held tighter. "No matter what, Justin, I'll be here, with you.  I can't tell you not to worry but I can tell you I'll be here for you when it gets to be too much." He lifted Justin's chin.  "Will you let me be here for you?" "I hope so.  I guess I wanted that or I wouldn't have told you.  In case you're not sure, the real Justin is here, scared to death." "One day at a time, baby.  Can you focus today on the shoots and getting ready for them?" "Yes, I think so.  Jeez, are there many more things coming to freak me out?" Justin smiled and snuggled one last moment into Lance. After a few minutes, Lance said, "Time, babe.  We gotta go." The curls tickled as Justin nodded. A quick kiss and they were moving into the bathroom which actually had two showers, two sinks, but only one toilet. Starting to pee, Lance laughed, "Guess that's not a togetherness thing." Fifteen minutes later, they were showered and dressed in yesterday's clothes. "Bet Jenna notices the outfits," Lance grinned.  Justin shrugged. "Even if I had gone home, this is it." There was no self pity, just a statement of fact.  Lance was determined to take them on a shopping trip sometime today.  He looked at his watch and headed for the door. Justin grabbed his hand as he turned the knob, "Thank you.  Thank you for coming into my life." Then he followed it with a hard kiss that left Lance breathless and dizzy. JC was waiting, half asleep on the sofa.  "It's about time," he said from under heavy-lidded eyes.  He pushed off and followed the two out the door. At the office, Jenna did raise her eyebrows but made no comment.  The photographer they had gotten, Jeff Johnson, was in her office and had been for several minutes.  Lance apologized and they all went in. Jeff stood and looked them over appraisingly, "Any experience?" Justin flinched but JC jumped in, "No, no modeling." Jeff looked skeptical.  Lance bit his lip and said, "That's the concept.  New, fresh faces, no jaded models.  We got you because that's your rep, working with the babies." Jeff walked over to Justin and touched his face, tilting it to angles that only he could imagine.  Justin tensed but remained compliant.  When he dropped his hand, Justin let out a small sigh.  JC received the same treatment but actually seemed to enjoy the touches. "OK, I'm in," Jeff said.  "Have you arranged the sites?" "No, today and tomorrow, I'll work on it.  We weren't sure we had a deal till yesterday." "So when do we start?  I have a pretty narrow window.  Next week and the week after.  Will that work?" "Sure," Jenna responded, more confident by the moment.  She knew that it was going to be a hellish week, long hours for both her and Lance.  Jeff stood and she walked him to the door. "We'll be in touch with the details." The photographer nodded and threw goodbyes over his shoulder.  Justin looked angry and Lance was confused.  He pulled on Justin moving him into the hall, putting up a finger to indicate a time out to Jenna.  She nodded, a frown forming. "What is it, J?"Lance asked anxiously. "We're not people to him, just objects to be photographed." "OK, so?" Lance said, not getting the point. "Just like being on the corner." "No, not like that.  He won't hurt you or fuck you up or screw you out of your money or give you a dis...." Lance stopped, aghast at what he was going to say. Justin had gone completely still.  Lance moved toward him and he backed up.  Lance apologized, "Oh, Justin, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to hurt you.  It's just, it's not like you think.  It's *not* like the corner at all." Justin felt betrayed, like the secret he had given Lance had been thrown back in his face.  His body was tense, muscles stiff.  Lance wanted to fix it, fix him, undo the damage.  He wanted to pull his hair out and scream an apology but he saw the door open behind Justin and Jenna's head poked out.  Her glance said get your ass in here and he held up two fingers begging for a few extra minutes to straighten things out with Justin. She nodded and when the door closed he returned his gaze to Justin, catching the sharp look of fear in his eyes before he covered it with anger.  "Justin, this is a good job.  In lots of ways, it is like...." "...like selling your body?" Justin sneered, "Yeah, I get that." "Tell me what happened in there," Lance said quietly.  He took Justin's hands and smoothed his fingers over the back of them.  "What scared you?" "Scared me?" Justin snorted. "You heard me," Lance said , still a soft voice.  And Justin broke down, lowered the wall once again. "It feels like the johns, looking me over, saying yes or no about whether I'm worth their cash, making me feel like shit, like I'm worthless except for sex." "Oh God, Justin, no, it's not that.  Yeah, you will make their product look good and yeah, the girls and probably boys will want you but you will still be Justin and not just a pretty boy.  The real Justin will be safe— with me." "How can I know?" Justin whispered. "You can't.  Just like I can't know that you won't trash my heart.  We both have to take a chance." Justin stood staring at him for long moments, digesting that thought.  "Ok, I guess, what now?" Lance sighed in relief and smiled. "I have to go in and start working.  You and JC need to take an advance and go buy some clothes, their brand preferably," he giggled. "When will I see you?" Justin asked. "Later, maybe really later," Lance said, apology in his voice.  "Will you stay with me tonight?  Go to the apartment and wait?  I'll tell James to expect you?" Justin nodded, "If JC has somewhere safe to stay, then yes.  Otherwise, I'll stay with him in our room.  It's safer with two of us there." Lance wanted to fix this, too but he decided to let them handle this themselves.  "Sure.  Call me on my cell and let me know what's going on." He leaned in and kissed Justin, hard and quick, telegraphing his desire to the younger boy. Jenna was in the hall again, looking evil this time.  "Gotta go, baby," Lance said and darted into the office as JC came out, waving a credit card with a gleeful look.  They left together, Justin wishing that Lance was with them. Lance was wishing that too, but Jenna was dictating a long list of items to be taken care of and he got lost in the minutia of setting up a shoot.  He was scribbling more notes when Jenna said, "Customer service, my ass." Lance looked up, a deer in the headlights expression on his pretty face.  "Excuse me?" he finally forced out. "They are not in customer service.  Justin would tear off every other customer's head and JC would offer to fuck them.  So what do they really do?  Can't be good or you wouldn't have lied." Lance was horrified, unsure of what to answer.  The truth might freak her out but another lie would infuriate her if she guessed.  He gave her a puzzled look but remained silent. "Is this going to be twenty questions, because if it is, I will be really unhappy." "They're hookers," he whispered. "Oh shit," Jenna whispered back.  "We sold them `hookers'?" Lance winced at the disgust in her voice.  "It's a job, Jenna, not so different from this one." "Oh no, not much.  It's illegal for one thing, it's low-class, it's great blackmail material and they could both have AIDS or some other fucking disease and be dead in no time." "Stop, Jenna.  I love Justin and I don't want you tearing him apart like that.  No one has to know. I wasn't even planning on telling you," he spat out, feeling what Justin must feel every day when people looked at him standing there. "Love?  You've known the guy a week and he was gone for most of it." "Actually he was recovering from a beating from one of the johns.  He's been here but not in any shape to model in a bathing suit." He looked at her face and cringed at the fury he saw there.  "I'm sorry, Jenna." "Sorry?  Sorry?" She sat down heavily.  "Go get coffee.  Go call your boyfriend.  Come back in an hour.  I have to think." "About..." "Get the fuck out of here, Lance, before I fire your ass and theirs this minute." Lance grabbed his jacket and headed for the street.  He stood outside gulping deep breaths wondering just what the hell he had done.  If he had screwed it up for them, he wasn't sure what he would do. Justin and JC were having a great time.  Jenna had told JC what the limit was and that they were really spending their own money, but it felt so terrific, he didn't care.  They each bought a few things, the brand they would be shilling fine for them. Justin wasn't sure how to ask JC where he was sleeping.  He couldn't be selfish and just stay with Lance and leave JC to fend for himself.  Finally, he said, "Lance asked me to spend the night." JC smiled and good friend that he was, said, "Surprise.  I guess I assumed you'd be staying together from now on." "But where will you stay?" "Lynn's.  She said until we could afford to get a real place, we or I should stay with her." JC laughed at the relief that was so evident on Justin's face.  "Now, shall we finish shopping?" Lance called Joey and insisted that he stay awake and listen.  He told him what had happened and wasn't encouraged by the low whistle that came over the line.  "My man, you have fucked up big time." "Joey," Lance cried, "you're supposed to say something to cheer me up, not make it worse." "Well, let me think.  How about if you offer me to her as an apology?" "And that is supposed to be helpful, " Lance scoffed. "No, but I don't have any other answers." Lance sighed.  "Joey, I'm scared shitless." "Nothing you can do.  Just hang in there and you'll find out what's going down soon enough.  Take a walk." "Thanks, man," Lance said and hung up, taking Joey's advice and heading for the river.  He thought of Justin and how he would feel if Jenna fired all of them.  He wouldn't even begin to know how to make it up to Justin and JC if they lost the job because of him. He wandered for awhile and then made his way back to the office, dreading Jenna's decision.  The receptionist informed him that Jenna was waiting for him and his stomach flipped.  He searched her face for any clues but there were none. He knocked tentatively and heard the curt response and cringed.  Jenna looked up briefly and motioned him to a seat, letting him sweat while she finished some minor task. "What the fuck were you thinking?" she spat out but when he started to answer, she held up her hand.  "It was a rhetorical question." "Actually, you weren't thinking.  Not to bring them here for something this big and not to lie to me.  So now where the hell are we?" "Is *that* a real question?" "No.  I *know* where we are.  We will tell the client the truth and let them go.  Say we were fooled by them." Lance jumped out of his seat and leaned over her desk, "You *can't* mean that.  Why?" "What if someone finds out?" "Then we point out their assets and stress the idea that everyone has to eat and you do the job that brings in the cash." "Are *you* a hooker?" "What does that mean?" "It means people have choices." "Not always, Jenna, not always." She leaned back and sighed and Lance felt more hopeful than at any time since he entered her office.  "If you knew them, you wouldn't judge them so harshly." "Lance, you are in love with a *hooker*?" "Justin is Justin.  Hooking is a way to earn cash.  Now he won't have to do that.  Unless we send them back to the streets.  Please, Jenna, give them a chance." She sighed again and said, "You are one fucking good ad man." She shook her head in defeat.  " I hope to hell that this doesn't backfire on us.  Now get to work." She still looked pissed but Lance knew it would be all right. It was a long day and longer evening and it was late before he got a cab and crept to his bedroom. He had spoken to Justin earlier and Justin said he would be there.  Now it was midnight and Lance was bone tired and had to get up and start all over again early in the morning. The light from the hall fell across the bed, illuminating Justin's face.  He looked so young and peaceful, the planes of his face beautiful in the shadows, his curls haloing his face.  Lance shut the door and tiptoed to the bed. He stripped, leaving his clothes in a pile, too tired to bother with the housekeeping details.  He slid in, not wanting to wake Justin, but wanting the closeness, to feel Justin's breath on him, to assure himself that this angel was really here. Justin shifted and his eyes opened, squinting into the darkness.  "What time is it?" "Midnight.  Go back to sleep." "One kiss.  K?" Lance leaned in and tasted Justin, a sweet kiss that spoke of love.  "Hmmm.  Nice." Lance rolled onto his side and backed into Justin, spooning into him, feeling the soft curls on his back and they drifted off, content, a lifetime away from the corner. continue menu