Chapter 12 Justin was as nervous as a cat, all skittish, claws ready to come out at the first sign of danger.  JC attempted to soothe him but it was hard when he was a nervous wreck himself.  They both were combed and polished to perfection and studied one another, looking for the slightest flaw. "That color suits you, Justin," JC admired, the blue of the sweater accentuating the deeper blue of the younger boy's eyes. "Thanks," Justin replied.  He wanted to say more, to compliment his friend, but the words were stuck in the swamp of his fear.  So he simply smiled and JC hoped with everything he had that Justin kept it firmly plastered on his face until they had a signed contract.  He knew no one could resist that innocent expression, the childlike sweetness that he was staring at this moment. The ride over was tense and in the elevator, Justin allowed as how he wouldn't be averse to throwing up right about then.  JC's horrified expression brought a peal of laughter from Justin and the mood lightened so that by the time they got out on Lance's floor, they were smiling and joking. Lance came out to reception and caught his breath, the two of them stunningly beautiful.  Justin looked down, sure that he had forgotten some essential article of clothing.  When he couldn't discover anything missing, he looked up and met Lance's eyes and read the desire in them. "See something you like?" he whispered and Lance was so taken by him that he didn't even notice the seductive come-on that he normally cringed at. "Everything," Lance hissed.  "If these clients don't drool over you two, they're fucking blind.  Let's go." The conference room was large and the table was filled with ten people who were entrusted with the cash to make deals, to see the future.  Justin couldn't look, so he focused on a spot on the wall and tried to ignore the sexual comments that were made as if they weren't even there. He could feel the streetboy stretching, clenching his fists, and ready to do battle to protect the real boy.  JC murmured a soothing comment, meant to calm through tone alone since Justin couldn't make out any of the words. Lance introduced everyone and then the clients asked that they pose in bathing suits.  It was not an unreasonable request and at least none of them had simply told them to strip.  They were shown to a dressing room and given the suits, a small piece of material that Justin thought was worse than wearing nothing, but he put it on anyway.  JC nodded, satisfied that the cuts had disappeared without leaving evidence. They both felt vulnerable and exposed and it showed.  But rather than being a drawback, the client responded to the childlike demeanor of the two young men. "Yes," he cried, "that's the look!" Another added, "You mean the dirty old man's fantasy boys?" The original man scoffed, "No, the sweet, innocent boys next door." A third man laughed, "Sweet?  Innocent?  No way.  These two could be hookers." In an afterthought, he threw over his shoulder, "Sorry, guys, I couldn't resist." He turned back around to his friends and missed the brief looks exchanged among JC, Justin, and Lance. Lance was watching Justin and saw the moment when the hooker took over and he jumped in to distract Justin.  "Could I see you outside for a minute, Justin?" Justin almost said no but the pleading look on Lance's face swayed him and he nodded and followed him out.  In the hall, Lance faced Justin and looked into the angry eyes and saw the hurt there, under it all.  "Please, Justin, please don't." Justin bit his lip.  He knew exactly what Lance was talking about and he took a deep breath.  Lance continued, "Please, my job and Jenna's are on the line here.  Please don't.  Not to mention JC and you." "All right," Justin replied and Lance hesitated, unsure how far to push. Finally he said, "Just look pretty and stick to yes and no." Justin's head snapped up from where he had been studying the floor and his eyes flashed.  Lance winced. "Thanks for the advice.  I'll try to be a big boy and listen to Daddy," Justin snarled. Now Lance was getting pissed, "This deal is worth a fortune.  Put your pride in your pocket for a few more minutes." "Fuck you." He turned away and started back in but Lance grabbed his arm. "Justin, please." The younger boy shook off his hand and went back in without a word. He stood there, telling himself that this was no harder than the corner, men and, in this instance women, judging his body, finding him worth their cash.  It hurt the same, felt the same, but his head told him it wasn't.  The goal was not to get off at his expense.  It was to sell clothes. JC edged over from where he had been standing with Jenna.  "She says we can go get dressed in a minute, model some of their clothes." There was a low hum of voices and then they were told to go change.  Justin rushed out and into the room where the clothes were.  JC followed and hugged Justin, "It's ok, baby, it's ok.  No one's gonna hurt you." Dressed, they went back to the conference room and were greeted by warm appreciation, low whistles that said they had the job.  They looked incredible and Lance had to bite his lip to keep from staring openmouthed.  The hookers were gone, replaced by two college boys, all loose khakis and open shirts over wifebeaters. It made Lance sad that they missed this, the college life, the years of transition from child to man. Instead, Justin constantly shifted between the two states, never safe in either. The storyboards were presented, the two posing next to them and everyone was nodding enthusiastically.  Lance smiled at Jenna, who was getting more relaxed by the minute.  When the pitch was over, the head of the client group applauded, "Great job.  This will be a terrific campaign.  Let's get them signed before they change their minds." The rest of the time was spent haggling contracts.  The client wanted commitment and Lance, who was representing them for the time being, wanted freedom and they compromised in the middle somewhere.  JC got involved, a natural business savvy coming to the surface.  Justin remained silent, nodding when necessary, content to let JC and Lance take over. Hours later, the four were alone, going over the schedule for the photo shoots that were planned for the next few weeks, the Chicago locations first, the beach shots in Florida.  Once the campaign was set, they planned to introduce it with a runway show in New York.  The next six weeks were overwhelming and Lance watched Justin and JC get more and more nervous. "One day at a time, guys," he assured them. "You'll get used to it." Justin looked at Lance, seeking a friend, and Lance nodded and gave him a thumbs up.  "Hey, let's go out to dinner.  Our treat." It was a casual place since Lance knew that they were wearing their best outfits.  It worked.  The four relaxed and laughed, sharing stories.  JC talked as usual and it amazed Justin that he could tell stories without letting on what he had really done for a living. Justin was quiet, observing, and wanting Lance to touch him.  He took a chance at one point and reached under the table for Lance's hand but Lance jumped at the touch and Justin withdrew with a sigh of frustration. The whole day had a fairy tale quality so when Jenna said she was going home, the party broke up with a happy ever after feel to it.  Jenna took the first taxi and JC turned to Lance and Justin.  "You going to Lance's?" Justin was torn.  This was his best friend and he wanted to share the most exciting day of his life with him, right to sleep, but......Lance was waiting, not wanting to force himself on Justin.  And Justin wanted to hook up tonight, maybe. Lance the negotiator stepped in and held up a key.  "Guess what?  I have the key to the company apartment.  The client was there last night but they flew back to Podunk or wherever they're from and it's empty tonight.  Let's go." It was a glass skyscraper on the lake and the three were awed.  Even Lance looked around the expensively furnished rooms with amazement.  "No wonder I don't get paid enough," he whistled. They took turns oohing and ahing over the luxuries like a jacuzzi tub, crystal glasses, Dom Perignon and JB Black, giant beds that looked even larger than king-sized.  After they had peeked into every nook and cranny, Lance said, "That's it.  I'm asking for a raise.  Shit. Well, at least we'll drink their champagne and add it to the client's tab.  Yes?" He opened the bottle and they shared it, while they talked about what had happened and what was going to happen.  It all seemed too much to Justin who got more and more quiet.  Lance stopped laughing long enough to look at Justin and realize that he was gone, his mind floating somewhere else. "Justin, ready for bed?" Justin started at Lance's question.  He had been daydreaming about a future with this blond boy with the deep bass voice when Lance had spoken.  He nodded and pulled himself to his feet. JC embraced him, "Thanks for running out on that check.  That was our lucky day." He headed in the direction of one of the bedrooms, slightly tipsy from the alcohol and totally giddy from the day. Justin and Lance closed the door behind them.  Finally, Justin thought.  He turned to face Lance and saw his own desire mirrored in Lance's eyes.  "Thank you, Lance.  Thanks for today." "You deserve it.  I just helped." Justin snorted and came closer, "Uh-huh, just a little." He was inches from Lance now and he wanted to stop talking.  He leaned in and pulled Lance toward him, into a deep kiss that sent shivers through both of them. "Wait, Justin," Lance said.  He had heard the gratitude and wanted to make sure this is really what Justin wanted. "No, I won't wait anymore.  Now, tonight." Justin said and sighed into Lance's neck, dropping tiny kisses and sucking on the soft skin.  He had done it a million times, making johns feel special but he had never meant it.  This was real. He started to unbutton Lance's shirt, his tongue following down as the shirt opened slowly.  He caught first one nipple and then the other between his teeth, sharp little bites that sent bolts of pleasure through Lance. He pushed the jacket and shirt off Lance and let them drop to the floor, adding his own sweater to the pile.  Justin pulled Lance toward the bed, eyes meeting and holding, lust mirrored green to blue.  They sat on the edge of the bed and rid themselves of shoes and socks before sliding across the silky spread. Lance lay on his back, Justin hovering over him, his ragged breathing sending puffs of air over Lance's superheated skin.  Justin dipped down for a kiss, his tongue searching, tasting, devouring and then he was gone again, moving that magical tongue over Lance in darting licks that fired every nerve, sending frantic signals to Lance's brain, which at the moment seemed to be located somewhere below his waist. Justin loosened the belt and then the button was open and the zipper pulled down and along the way, Lance got lost in the feelings and thought was impossible.  "Lift up, Lance," Justin whispered and in seconds Lance's pants and boxers were on the floor as well. Justin stared down at Lance, that beautiful body his for the asking.  He wanted so much, too much.  He didn't deserve any of it and here it was.  He took Lance's weeping erection into his mouth and swirled the tip. Lance gasped and arched into Justin who followed with a soft lick from base to tip and then he took Lance's cock in once again, sucking and pulling, his fingers curled around Lance's balls, playing with them, stroking the skin behind them. Lance gripped the sheets at first and then grabbed Justin's curls, running his fingers through them, feeling their softness, careful not to hurt Justin.  His hips bucked up, pushing his erection farther into Justin, who deep throated him with practiced ease.     Lance was amazed at what Justin could do with his tongue and lips and that humming thing nearly drove Lance over the edge.  After what seemed like years but was actually just a few minutes, Lance arched into the most fucking incredible orgasm of his life.  Spurt after spurt poured into Justin who swallowed it all, sated with pleasure. Lance fell back, spent, exhausted, but aware that Justin was still mostly dressed and that his hard-on had received no attention at all.  Lance rolled Justin off and lay next to him.  "You." Justin shook his head, "Later.  Just hold me and tell me how good it was." "One condition," Lance replied. When Justin frowned in question, Lance laughed, "You have to be undressed ,too." "Oh that," Justin snorted," No problem." He was naked before the words floated out of the air and lying next to Lance, his arms around the older boy.  "So, how good was it?" "The best.  Ever." Justin smiled. "I wanted it to be good.  I want you to want me...,"  he stopped as he heard the low rumble of Lance's laugh.  Justin pushed up on one elbow and frowned. "You think you need to *make* me want you?  Holy God, I think I wanted you from the first minute I laid eyes on you." It wasn't what Justin wanted to hear. *That* was what he got standing on the corner.  Boy, you are so hot, come with me.  Hey sexy, come over here.  Justin's eyes clouded as he heard the lines run through his head. Now Lance frowned, worried at the hurt that he had put on Justin's face.  "I'm sorry, Justin, what...?" "I want you to want me *for me*.  I want to be able to let the real Justin be with you, to trust you." Lance was still confused, "So how does giving me a blow job accomplish that?" "I gave you all I have to offer.  This is it, Lance, a real accomplished hooker.  Sex is my strong point," he said through clenched teeth. Lance rolled Justin onto his back and straddled him, eyes flashing.  "*That* was far and away the best head I have ever gotten.  You are great at it.  I loved it.  But sex is not why I love you." Shit, Lance thought, there's that fucking word again. Justin's eyes widened, "Love?" Lance looked into Justin's eyes.  Why do I do this?  Why do I open myself up so soon?  How do I give my heart away so easily?  Lance sighed, "Yeah, love." And then the conversation stopped as Lance dropped his lips to Justin's, sucking away any words that were there.  He explored, tasted, drew little gasps from the boy beneath him.  And moved down, licking, leaving hot trails of sensation until he reached Justin's cock. Justin had been moaning, his breathing ragged with pleasure.  His mind was floating on a sea of desire, wanting what Lance was giving.  Suddenly Justin struggled up on his elbows.  "Stop, Lance." Lance looked up with lust-glazed eyes, almost unable to hear.  His brows knit together in confusion, "Justin?" Justin bit his lip. "I can't let you do that— yet." "Why?" Lance smiled, "I'm a big boy." "I ...uh....don't have.....any results yet." He didn't want to have to spell it out.  He had gone for an AIDS test the other day but it would still be a week before the clinic had the results. Lance was processing through the fog of his desire, so it was much slower than usual.  "AIDS, Lance," Justin said softly, "An AIDS test." "Oh shit," Lance said and scrambled up the bed.  Justin sighed, the reality of his life hitting both of them once again.  Lance looked at Justin and took a deep breath, horrified that there was even a possibility that this beautiful boy would be destroyed by that scourge. Justin misunderstood the look as usual and started to get out of bed, "I understand.  I don't blame you." Lance pulled him back. Drinks and champagne and a mind-numbing orgasm all converged to make him slow.  "Don't blame me?  For what?" Justin hated spelling it out.  "For not wanting to be with me if it's possible that I'm HIV+." Lance fell back, his brain refusing to get into the whole discussion.  Short and sweet, it said, details in the morning.  "Did I say I loved you?" Justin nodded.  "Then come here.  I do love you. There are still things we can do...." Justin lay back down and let Lance pull him close.  Then Lance's hand dipped below his waist and touched him gently, even as he entered Justin's mouth.  He swept his tongue over the roof of his mouth, over teeth, meeting Justin's tongue and tasting one another. Justin moaned at the touches, at the sensations and then Lance was moving, kissing, finding sensitive places on Justin that brought gasps from the younger boy. The whole time he was stroking Justin to a hardness that was throbbing, moving up and down in a rhythm that matched his kisses. When he flicked the head with his thumb, Justin arched into him and cried his name. Justin's breathing speeded up and Lance could feel the tension building until the moment of release when Justin thrust into Lance's fist and huge spurts of cum were released, slicking their bodies. When he was spent, Justin fell back onto the bed, pleasure etched on his face, his body languorous, and oh my God, Lance thought, the most sexy thing Lance had ever seen. For him. It was for him. Lance pulled him close and Justin curled into him, the feeling of closeness at that moment one of the defining moments of his young life. They were too tired to talk, too tired to clean up, too tired to do anything but hold one another. continue menu