|
Jay’s Literature Page
|
||
| Last updated: 02 Nov 2006 |
(2001-2003)
|
Mr. & Mrs. Janglo
or (Recent Updates On My Personal Private Life) as contributed by Yousef Therem As should first be known to the curious reader, I have just the year before last moved out of the happy home that is my parents's, to an apartment of sorts in the now slowly overcrowding Fringes of the Money District. The move, as you may have already guessed, was intended to bring me closer to my place of employment. It was something of a difficult and unbearable adjustment at first. Painful as it was to leave the house where I and and my seven siblings grew up in, with it I also had to say goodbye to the comfort and convenience of having a family to look after me. That, added to having to room with a certain lazy, irresponsible, unhygenic, noisy, drunk, semi-retard ex-officemate Kidd Janglo, didn't at all make the experience any better. In fact, in no less than a hundred occassions had I found myself thinking of packing and heading back to my parents's house. Never mind the two-hour daily commutes to and from work; it would all be worth it, just to be away from that despicable creature. Thankfully, my room sharing days with Kidd Janglo came to an abrupt end exactly two days earlier than my planned execution date of what would have been an elaborate attempt to move back to my parents's house. Kidd Janglo, with all the undesirable qualities he possessed, turned out to have found himself a girl to marry. Or, rather, found himself a girl he could get to marry him. He was to move in, he said, to an even better apartment with his wife (the poor, poor girl) after the wedding day and right after they got back from the honeymoon. "That's great, Kidd," I remember telling him right after he broke the news to me. "That girl must have more loose screws up in her head than you do." That last, of course, I didn't say out loud. "Yeah..." Kidd Janglo said. He paused, thinking of something to say after that, but being someone not to let his brain function anywhere beyond its minimum capability, after five full seconds he gave up and just said, "Yeah," which he followed up this time with his dumb laugh, transcribed here as: "Huh-huh-huh-huh..." Thus, fifteen months after leaving home, I was finally living on my own. As for looking for a new roommate, I didn't think not having to have someone split the rent with was much of a problem at all, and thus I kept the place for myself. You'd think Kidd Janglo was the type who would share the rent with me? Of course not. A great majority of the months we shared the apartment it was only I who fully shouldered the payment. I did a lot of cleaning when Kidd Janglo moved out. I sanitized everything, got rid of a lot of clutter, painted the walls, and arranged what little furniture I have to my liking. I also made some personal touches, since the place was now basically mine, like hanging pictures of my family, and sticking a rare Seafood Monkeys poster on the wall. Two days's worth of previously planned vacation leaves were what it took for all the work to be done, and after I was through, I decided what better way to celebrate than to throw a party on my place. The party happened some three months later. See, I made it coincide with my birthday. Invited were my family, of course (but with only three of my siblings who were in the region during that time), and some friends from both my current and former employers. For some reason, Kidd Janglo's name had somehow managed to slip into list of invitees, so he was there, too, accompanied by the now Mrs. Sonjä S. Janglo. As I ushered the couple in, I was amazed once again by how much Kidd Janglo's wife wasn't at all as I had previously imagined her to be, that is: a girl with much more loose screws up in her head than Kidd Janglo himself. I had noted it on their wedding day, but I thought it was only because she was blissfully happy then. As a guest on my party, though, Mrs. Janglo confirmed it for me once again. There wasn't anything at all wrong with her. In fact, next only to my ******, I could believe she was the most intelligent, beautiful, nice-skinned, nice-foreheaded, well-mannered, decent, sweetest young woman I had met in my twenty-eight years of life. "What a nice cozy place you have here," she remarked. Kidd Janglo scowled. He took a long look around the place which months prior had been half his, scratched his stubbly chin, and declared matter-of-factly: "This place is in fact five times sh*ttier than before I left it.". |
| © 2006 Jay Santos |