First
in Batleth Helpless Maiden
"Dinner
was superb as always."
"Thank
You."
"No,
thank YOU. Once again I am in your debt, Sir. Once again you have
saved me from both Neelix's culinary creations and a dreadfully dull evening
of reading reports."
"I do my best." Chakotay gave her his best boyish grin. "Shall we have coffee on the couch?"
Kathryn nodded and headed to the couch, which Chakotay had rearranged to face the view port. She sat, tucking her feet under her, gazing out at the stars. The infinite universe lay out there, so much to explore, so much to learn and somewhere --still over sixty thousand light years away--was home. As Chakotay brought the coffee she was thinking. *How beautiful the stars are, I love to see them, I love being here and I love to explore them, I love the excitement of the unknown, I love being the captain and even being here on our own so far from home.* Chakotay handed her a steaming mug, smiling down at her. *I love him.* She blushed slightly, at the thought hoping he wouldn't notice.
They sat side by side, silently drinking their coffee and studying the stars flying past them, each with their own thoughts, content to be together, comfortable enough to share this time without feeling compelled to speak or entertain each other. Kathryn's foot had fallen asleep under her, she stretched out her leg wiggling her toes to get the blood flowing. Chakotay snatched it up and began to rub the life back into it. A friendly smile passed between them, as she settled back on the couch closing her eyes, content to be on the receiving end of a great foot message. She was almost asleep when Chakotay's soft chuckling stirred her.
"What's so funny?"
"Us."
"Us? We're funny? How?" She was smiling at his continued laughter not even knowing what she had done to cause it. "We weren't even doing anything."
"That's the point. We sit here being perfectly happy doing nothing--- like an old married couple."
"We are- aren't we." She joined in the laughter. "All but the sex."
“Kathryn! YOU said SEX!" He tried to look shocked but couldn't contain his laughter.
"Yes, I said sex--that shocks you? Don't you think I know about these things?" She pulled her foot from his grasp, jumped up and was looking down at him as indignantly as she could manage. "I have even indulged a time or two."
"Couldn't prove it by me!" He shook his head. "Hell, I might have forgotten what sex is myself."
"I doubt that!" Looking down at him challengingly, she tried to remember when she had last heard rumors of his escapades--* he might be right-it's been a long time.* "A big warrior stud like you had a reputation to uphold."
"Warrior STUD? Are you OK? First you say 'sex' then 'stud'----Kathryn I think it's time to call it a night." He was still laughing as he rose and gently moved her toward the door.
“What's
the matter? Suddenly I can't talk to my best friend 'cause the subject
is sex?" She was standing tough refusing to be moved to the door.
“OK that's it---counting this time we have now said sex seven times in the last two minutes---time to go." He lifted her gently carrying her to the door and setting her on her bare feet in the corridor. He smiled as the door swished closed between them.
Kathryn laughed to herself as she padded barefoot the short distance to her quarters. *They never did talk about it any more, although she thought about it more and more. Was he no longer interested in her? She wasn't going to believe he was no longer interested in sex - maybe it was her he'd lost interest in. Wouldn't it be something if she finally came around and he wasn't interested!* She continued into her quarters starting to undress even before she reached her bedroom. Suddenly, she wasn't sleepy any more and changed course toward the bathroom.
She ran water into her tub, as hot as she could safely get into, adding bath oils, she let it run while she replicated a glass of wine.
Chakotay could hear the water run in her tub. He hoped she wasn't angry, but he couldn't discuss sex- or more to the point the lack of sex - -with her - even now after nearly five years of practice. He worked very hard at controlling his feelings, at being a good friend, at not pressuring her. *Sorry, Kathryn-I need to maintain that distance.* The water stopped running, he could picture her soaking in the tub - not as big as the one he had built her on New Earth - he saw her leaning back closing her eyes, all but her head covered in hot soapy water. *Gods I wish I was water!* He shook his head to clear it * problem isn't in your head boy---not that one anyway!* and headed for bed before he became too involved in this fantasy.
Kathryn soaked in her tub, until the water was cold, reluctantly she stood and wrapped herself in a towel and headed for her bedroom. It wasn't like her, but tonight she slipped between the sheets without putting on her nightgown. The sheets felt cool and crisp against her skin as she lay there wishing he was here to touch her, to soothe away the ache in her body, to satisfy the need growing between her legs. She slipped her hand beneath the sheet and reached down to caress her own throbbing wetness.
"Chakotay to Janeway."
"Janeway here." The sound of his voice startled her, yet it excited her.
"Hope I didn't wake you." He knew he hadn't, he could hear it in her voice and something else was there- what?
"You didn't, Chakotay. What can I do for you?" *Or you for me!*
"Give me a minute and I'll think of something.” *Like I need to think about that one!* "I just wanted to say goodnight and let you know you left your shoes here."
"Thank you, I'll get them in the morning." *Unless you would like to bring them and yourself to me right NOW.* She could imagine him coming toward her in the darkness. She could hear her own heart pounding - could he?- she didn't dare move while the commlink was still open.
"OK. Kathryn, are you alright?" Her voice sounded strange, maybe he had disturbed her after all.
"Yes, I'm fine." She accidentally moved her hand and her body jerked involuntarily causing her to catch her breath. *Damn, he must have heard that!* "Good night, Chakotay."
"Good night." He said it and cut the commlink, still thinking she sounded strange. *What was it? Something in her voice - breathy, yes breathy---* He smiled. * So my little kitten hasn't turned to stone after all.* He chuckled to himself and rolled over trying not to picture her in her current activity. "Good night my love." He spoke out loud in the darkness, then tried to empty his mind for sleep.
Kathryn lay still, forming a picture of him in her mind, playing the sound of his voice in her head. She saw him as he was a New Earth, so strong, so handsome. Her hand began to move - slowly at first, increasing in speed and pressure as her body raced toward fulfillment. No longer able to be still, her body thrashed against the stiff sheets until she was forced to bite into her pillow to keep from screaming his name. Sweating, the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears, she lay back on the pillow allowing warm tears to escape and roll down her cheeks. Thinking only of him, she drifted off to sleep.
Day and night on a Starship, are merely a function of the computer. At a set time, the computer decides it is night and dims the lights, turning them up brightly at the hour designated as morning. The computer woke Kathryn an hour before 'daylight' as it did every morning.
"CAPTAIN THE TIME IS 0500 HOURS---CAPTAIN THE TIME IS 0500 HOURS"
"Computer reset 24 hours; lights full power." Finding it strange to be naked in her bed, she chuckled shaking her head as she headed for the shower. Another day and everything would be fine once she put on her uniform and once again became "Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager." It seemed, sometimes, a lot like Tom's Captain Proton program on the holodeck. Step into the uniform and become the imaginary Hero. * This isn't the holodeck, I have 150 real lives depending on me.* She thought as she stepped into the uniform and made her daily transition. She was just beginning to realize it had become a transition. After nearly five years feeling she had to be on duty 24-7, she was ready to allow somebody else to carry some of the responsibility and maybe even to resume her life. Could she still have a personal life? * I can try--.* Her thoughts were interrupted, by her door chime. *Only one person would dare to disturb her in her quarters at this hour.* Her heart sped up just a little "Come in, Commander."
"Good morning, Captain. How did you know it was me?" *who else would have the nerve to be here now--or in most cases ever?*
"Not really a tough one, Chakotay. Coffee?"
"I thought we could see what Neelix has for breakfast."
"Good idea. Did you bring my shoes?"
"Forgot. Want me to go get them?" The grin on his face was hard to miss.
“No, I'll get them later, give me a minute and we'll go." *So and excuse to be together later---his? or mine?*
Chakotay noted that she hadn't been too disappointed about the shoes. True, she didn't need them now, she wore boots with her uniform same as everyone else, but was that a smile her detected as she turned? As soon as Kathryn was ready, they had breakfast in the mess hall with most of the morning shift and reported to the Bridge for duty.
Voyager was headed for an M class planet where it appeared they would be able to replenish both their food supplies, which were forever short these days, and possibly even mine some dilithium. The planet didn't appear to be inhabited, but they wouldn't be sure until they were closer. If they were luck maybe some of the crew could get in a little shore leave. The exploration of unknown space and life aboard a ship, especially one lost among the stars, was a fulfillment of a dream for most of the crew, but occasionally the reality of never getting home caused a real longing for the feel of solid ground beneath their feet. Even a chance to mine dilithium or harvest whatever grew locally, a chance to sweat in the sunshine, was welcomed by everyone.
The Captain was going over reports in her ready room, Commander Chakotay was on the bridge, Lieutenant Torres had engineering well in hand, the Doctor had no patients in sickbay and Neelix was happily preparing lunch, all was well in the small world of the Starship Voyager.
When the door chimed, the Captain automatically answered. "Come." She didn't look up until an unusual silence presented it's self. When she did, she was surprised at her visitor. "Naomi---this is a surprise. What can I do for you?"
"Good morning Captain, may I speak with you?" Naomi was always very formal, when she addressed the Captain.
"Of course you may Naomi, you are always welcome here." The Captain smiled down at the girl.
Naomi
Wildman was the most unique member of her crew. Born seven months
after Voyager was stranded in the Delta Quadrant, she was the only true
'native' in this small world of Voyager. Her whole world was contained
within these bulkheads. She was the child of Ensign Samantha Wildman,
but quite naturally found herself with 150 very, sometimes overly, concerned
parents. Her education, which was quite unique, was handled by various
crewman. Each person specialized in some area, so along with basic
reading, writing and math skills, Naomi learned biology from the doctor,
Music from Harry Kim, Cooking from Neelix, astrophysics from Seven of Nine
and even took flying lessons with Tom Paris. She fancied herself the 'Captain's
Assistant' and no one, including Kathryn, objected. Kathryn sometimes
felt sorry for Naomi, stranded out here denied her father, who had remained
on DS9 unaware that she even existed. Other times, she envied the child
her early education and adventure in space travel. Kathryn had been
a lot like Naomi as a child, eager to
learn,
much happier to study quantum mechanics and spatial geometry than to play
with her toys, which she let collect dust on her shelf. Not that
Naomi lacked time to play or for that matter playmates. The very
same serious crew that carefully educated her were more than happy to play
any game with her, no matter how sophisticated or how silly.
"Captain, I would like to put in a formal request to be included in the next away mission. I know we're headed toward an M Class planet and ---if you think it's suitable--I would like to go along. I can work, with Neelix, we can gather food. I'm a good worker, you know."
The girl looked up at Kathryn with such a pleading, yet very serious expression, Kathryn found it hard to resist snatching her up and hugging her. There were times you could hug Naomi and Kathryn was quick to take advantage of them, but this was not one of them.
“Naomi, I'm happy for your eager participation in our mission. We are however still two days away from the planet and we haven't been able to fully evaluate the conditions there yet. As soon as we know more about it's suitability, I will give your request my full and careful attention.” The Captain gave Naomi her best command face and then smiled thinking. * In other words, after checking out the planet, I'll ask your mother.*
"Thank you, Captain, with your permission I'll return to my studies now."
The Captain considered her very seriously. "Dismissed." She said in the command voice the girl expected and she watched as Naomi turned and walked toward the door of her ready room.
The child was a ray of sunshine aboard the ship. Maybe someday there would be more children aboard Voyager. She wasn't designed to be a family ship, but they had adapted in other ways- this too could come to pass.
*Would any of these children be mine?--Mine and--Chakotay's?* The thought felt warm and comforting to her and she let it linger. She wondered how she would handle these changes if they did develop. What would a battle ship do with families aboard? How would the crew react to a pregnant Captain? What would 'their' children look like? She was deep in these thoughts and didn't even notice him standing in front of her desk.
"Captain." He spoke her rank for the third time, wondering where her thoughts had taken her to cause such a warm, contented smile to grace her lips.
She jumped and he smiled when she realized he was standing right in front of her. Again she blushed, guilty for her thoughts. *Damn I have to stop letting him catch me.* She could feel her cheeks redden.
"Commander, I didn't hear you come in." She tried to slip back into command voice to cover her embarrassment and turn the tables on him for entering without ringing the chime.
"Sorry Captain, your assistant let me in on her way out." He grinned, knowing she wasn't angry, just guilty for getting caught. Just what had he caught her at this time?
"Naomi, yes." She smiled and he saw it reach her eyes as she spoke of the child. "She wants to be included in our next away mission. Guess the ship can be confining even when it's the only world you've ever known."
"And will she? Will you allow her shore leave?" His smile matched hers, children had that effect on him--as a matter of fact so did Kathryn.
"If the planet is safe and her mother gives permission--yes I'll let her go. Do you think it's wise?"
"I think it's a great idea, I'd be happy to tag along and make sure she stays safe if you'd like." He knew she was probably looking forward to doing that herself, that was OK with him too.
"Thank you, Commander." She said with that crooked smile of hers. "Did you come in here for a reason?"
"Actually, yes, since you seemed to have missed lunch, I wanted to see if you would join me for dinner. You could get your shoes back." He gave her his best boyish grin. "I have a bottle of Paris' wine---the real stuff. What do you say?"
"I have a lot of reports to read yet." Loving the idea, but not wanting to be too quick to say yes.
"Captain, you still have to eat--need to keep your strength up. Read now and we'll have dinner at 1900 hours. Please." The expression on his face changed from the boyish grin to a very sexy, extremely hard to resist smile. "My quarters--1900 hours?"
"OK, but only if you get out and let me finish my work-NOW." She laughed, as he bowed and backed out of her ready room.
It was already after 1800 hours when Kathryn left her ready room and headed to the crew quarters, she would have to hurry if she wanted to be on time. A nice hot relaxing bath sounded so good, but she was lucky time permitted a shower. After her shower she wrapped herself in a towel and carefully selected a blue satin camisole and matching panties, to wear under the blue dress he liked so much. Slipping them on, she examined herself in the full length mirror. *Not bad for a stuffy old starship captain--definitely not regulation skivvies.* She laughed out loud. These are for you commander--not that I have intentions of letting you see them--not yet anyway-not tonight.* She pulled on the dress and brushed out her hair. She rechecked herself in the mirror-blue dress, hair--* I wonder if he hates that I cut it* -hint of lipstick, a spray of her/his favorite perfume--no shoes. Perfect and five minutes to spare. She waited ten minutes and stood outside his door ringing the chime.
The door swished open, Chakotay was no where in sight. The room was dark, lit only by candles, which flickered from many perches across the room. The table was set and the wine chilling in a bucket beside the table, soft music played in the background. Kathryn realized she was still standing in the doorway, preventing it from closing. She stepped inside and let the door slide closed behind her, before another crew member spotted this set up and the rumors started anew.
*Well, my friend maybe I was wrong--maybe you haven't given up--completely.* She smiled as she moved around the room and felt goose bumps raise up on her skin. "Chakotay?" She called out softly.
"I'm right here." His voice came from directly behind her. "Would you like a glass of wine before dinner?"
He startled her, but the atmosphere was much too relaxing to scream. She spun around to find him standing very close holding two glasses of wine. She took one, looking into the deep dark eyes, neither one backed away; she just smiled.
"Shall we sit down?" He spoke first guiding her over to the couch. "I thought this would help you relax. You looked awful tired earlier."
"Very nice, Chakotay. Yes, I could stand to unwind. I didn't finish until about forty-five minutes ago."
"Well, may I say you made a nice transition from the Captain to Kathryn in that time." He was looking at her with the same hungry eyes she remembered from so long ago
"Thank you." She eyed him from behind her wine glass. *And you made a great transition into my sexy warrior* She could feel the color rise in her face, he probably couldn't see it even in this light. "You're looking pretty good yourself."
"I try--How do you like the wine? Some of Tom's best don't you think?" Was he imagining it or was she hiding behind that glass.
"It is very good, but tell me how did you get it away from Tom?----Or is that something I'm better off not knowing?"
"As the Captain or Kathryn?---No wait - I think you are better off not asking in either case." He was smiling down into those deep blue eyes, which were happier and more relaxed than he's seen in a very long time.
"OK, I withdraw the question on the condition that you feed me---soon. I'm suddenly starved."
Dinner was the usual replicated fare, but the service was good and the company superb. Afterwards she settled on the couch again and watched as Chakotay cleared away the dishes and prepared an after dinner drink for them. He was so good to her, whether it was standing next to her on the Bridge, a battle raging around them or dinner and a foot message, he had been there for her these long five years. It had taken her so long to realize that she was being unnecessarily harsh in her interpretation of protocol---at least in how it applied to their current situation. She had suffered because of it, but what really disturbed her was how she had hurt him and in spite of that he stood beside her---always. She was string out the view port mesmerized by the twinkling of the stars and hadn't noticed he was watching her until he spoke.
“Happy? You look more content than usual."
"I think I am--more content-I think ---I've been doing a lot of thinking--which I know, for me is not a surprise, but I've been coming to ---different conclusions." She was stammering. *Why can't I just tell him? -Am I still not sure?*
"Anything you want to discuss with me?" He was trying not to read his own meaning into her words.
“Very much so---I'm just not sure I know how."
He was watching her face. She was thoughtful, not angry or defensive about what she was trying to say -- just-confused--maybe. He turned on the couch so that he was facing her, reaching out to take both her hands in his. She tilted her face toward him their eyes locking. He was staring into deep blue pools---serious yet warm, happier than they were of late and --lovingly searching for something---reaching out.
"Kathryn, what ever it is you can talk to me about it." He spoke softly not unlocking his eyes or releasing her hands.
“I know--I really want to--need to." She took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. "Chakotay, it's taken me a really long time to reconcile this within myself---so long to understand that all the rules can't be enforced when the game has changed so drastically.-----You understood almost from the beginning---I couldn't let go--I didn't know how." She shook her head--made a noise almost like a laugh. "I'm not making any sense--help me."
"Kathryn, I want to help you, but I don't want to put words in your mouth. These decisions you're making are they concerning the ship, the crew, --or a more personal nature?" He tried to remain calm, not to move or jump to any conclusions.
"Yes. I mean all of them, but mostly------ personal." She had looked down, but raised her eyes to meet his again. "I love you." As she said it silent tears slid down her cheeks, she didn't move, didn't look away, just held his eyes searching for an answer.
She
let go of his hands and reached her own up to touch the sides of his face.
He didn't move, didn't blink, he could barely even breath. He had
waited so long for this, he was afraid he hadn't heard her correctly, afraid
he had imagined it. She brought his face down to hers, joining their
lips ever so gently. Her lips were moist and warm and he wanted to
devour her---fear held him still. She pulled back from him and looked
deeply into his eyes, a smile crossed her lips that reached into her eyes.
She pulled him to her again, more intensely this time, more demanding.
Her arms reached up to encircle his neck, her fingers sliding through his
hair. Her lips parted and her tongue found it's way past his lips---he
could hold back no more. He brought her to him and kissed her with all
the passion and desire he had built up over the past five years. His mouth
pressed to hers, his tongue explored hers, his hands caressing her body
while his arms held her tightly to him. Never had he wanted anyone
else like this, never had he been so afraid. He wanted to go on
kissing
her forever--he must stop. He pulled away from her, gently settling
her back on the couch to study her face. He didn't want to go too fast,
they had waited this long--he would take it slowly--- he needed this space
before his body betrayed him.
"Kathryn, I'm not complaining mind you, but--what brought this on?" He spoke in barely a whisper, carefully watching her expression. A flash of fear crossed her face and a sadness settled in her eyes. Chakotay reached out and drew her to him. Leaning back on the couch he positioned her in front of him with her head on his chest. "I love you, Kathryn." It was just a whisper, one she could feel almost as much as she could hear it. He wrapped his arms around her and together they silently watched the Delta quadrant pass by the view port.
"It's been a long time coming-and I'm not sure I have it resolved even now." She didn't move out of his arms to attempt to look at him as she spoke. "I know that I love you and I have denied both of us for too long.----I'm sorry- I never wanted to hurt you.---All this time-so many little things--so much I'm still not sure of..." Her voice trailed off and they sat - her wrapped in his arms - both wrapped in silence for a long time before she spoke again. "Today, when you spoke about Naomi, there was a light in your eyes. Do you want children Chakotay?" She didn't let him answer, she rushed on. "You know, I--I never wanted children--I mean, Mark and I --we spent ten years together--I never wanted children. Not that they would have interfered with my career or anything---Mark would have gladly stayed at home and taken care of them, while I flew off into space. I just never wanted--Mark's children." She fell silent again.
"I never thought I would have any children, being a Maquis---well it's not that kind of life." He didn't want to upset her or cause her discomfort but he owed her the truth. "Yes, I guess in spite of all that I always wanted children."
"And now?"
“Now? I guess ---yes, now more than ever before I can see myself having children." He said it and waited for her response. When she didn't answer, he asked. "Do you still feel the same?"
"About Mark?---yes" She took a deep breath--steadied herself and took a risk. "About you?--No--that is Yes--I want very much to carry your children."
It was so quiet she could hear both their hearts beating. Chakotay said nothing for a maddening length of time. When she could wait no more for an answer, she sat up and turned to him. He was staring at her, his chocolate eyes glistening with unshed tears. She could feel her own eyes well up as she reached to brush away a tear sliding down his cheek. He caught her hand, kissing her fingers while tears silently rolled down both their faces. He drew her near and kissed away her tears. She placed her head back on his chest and allowed his beating heart to lull her to sleep.
"COMMANDER THE TIME IS 0600 HOURS.--COMMANDER THE TIME IS 0600 HOURS."
The computer sounded Chakotay's wake up call causing both of them to wake with a start.
"Computer reset 24 hours--light to half power." Chakotay stretched trying to work out some of the kinks caused by sleeping on the couch all night. "Good morning, sleepy head." He brushed her hair back and kissed the top of her head. "Coffee?"
"Hum." She tried to bring herself to full consciousness.
"You're beautiful in the morning." He quipped as he handed her the coffee.
"Yea, I'll bet!" Taking the coffee she smiled. "This is probably better than most mornings---consider it fair warning."
"I don't care if you look like a Klingon targ, if I can wake up beside you I'll be happy. He kissed her --rising quickly to dispose of his coffee Cup, before he was tempted to linger. "I'm off to the shower. My captain is a terrible shrew, she'll have my head if I'm late." He ducked quickly into the bathroom, closing the door just before the pillow thumped against it.
"When you're finished, come next door and let this shrew buy you breakfast." She spoke her message to the closed door and headed to her own quarters.
She showered quickly, knowing it would take him far less time to dress than her. She had just slipped her uniform over black lace when the chime sounded.
"Come in, Commander." She called out from the bedroom. "Please get us some coffee."
“You must be dressed 'cause I hear the uniform in your voice." He was laughing, as he brought the coffee into her bedroom.
"Its a good thing, with the way my first officer just barges into my bedroom." She smiled, as she said it. She was sitting by her dressing table unwrapping her hair from the towel.
He put the coffee on the edge of the table and sat on her bed watching with fascination as she proceeded with her morning ritual. Brushing and drying her hair, applying light makeup, a hint of lipstick, and a spray of perfume.
"Do you always wear makeup?" He had never really notice that she did---except for a little lipstick.
"Yes, but you're not supposed to notice---that's the point." She laughed. "Any more questions or can we go to breakfast now?" She stood up and started past him toward the door--he grabbed her waist as she passed.
"Just one---are you wearing soft and slippery things under here--like you did last night?" He was looking up at her from his seat on her bed, his hands resting on her hips.
"How do you know what I wore under my dress last night?" She raised one eyebrow and tried to be serious.
"Experience! These hands have a life all their own, I'm afraid. They have become very adept at detecting what's beneath the surface." When he lifted his hands to show them to her, she slipped out of his grasp. "Hey, you didn't answer my question."
"Lace---black lace." She called back over her shoulder as she darted out the door.
"Good morning, Captain, Commander." Tom Paris held the lift door open for them.
Chakotay nodded his greeting, avoiding Tom's smirk.
"Good morning, Tom." The Captain ignored Tom's glance at Chakotay. "On our way to breakfast--will you join us?”
"Love to, Captain---but-- I'm looking for B'Elanna."
"Loose her again did ya?" Chakotay loved to jab at Tom, at any opportunity.
"Funny Commander--she's meeting me actually."
The lift opened, depositing them outside the mess hall, which was unduly crowded for such an early hour. They collected their breakfast and wound up settling themselves at the only available table. Tom had already joined B'Elanna and Harry and since no other space was available the Captain and Chakotay joined them. Since the Captain was present, the usual gossip was passed over for safer topics, such as the upcoming M class and the usual inquisitive comments about Neelix's cooking.
"What the hell is this anyway?" Tom was holding up something stringy and dark on his fork.
"I'm not sure, but it's kinda sweet.” Harry wasn't having any problem with today's fare. "It's better than most of his stuff."
"Looks like knotted up shoe laces." Tom was turning it around on his fork.
"Shut up and eat it--I like it." B'Elanna rolled her eyes at Tom. "It's more delicate than shoe laces---we had them last week."
"With enough Coffee, I find I can swallow almost anything---What do you think Commander?" The Captain tried not to find fault--Neelix did his best---but sometimes the stuff was strange.
"About what you can wash down with coffee? --- interesting possibilities." Chakotay gave a sly grin.
"Oh Commander you will never know." The Captain replied straight faced. "Actually I was asking about breakfast."
"Oh this stuff--tastes pretty good--sort of looks like --I don't know---black lace." Chakotay never took his eyes off the food held out on Tom's fork.
Kathryn's coffee went down the wrong way causing her to choke. She knew her cheeks were turning crimson, as everyone at the table turned toward her.
"Are you OK?" Chakotay quickly stood behind her.
"I'm fine--just swallowed wrong." She managed to get out between gasps for air.
"Maybe you need something to wash down the coffee." Tom offered. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, Tom I'm fine. I think that will be enough breakfast for today though. See you on the Bridge." The Captain picked up her tray, smiled around the table, stepped around her first officer and disappeared out the door.
Tom and Harry, also due on the bridge, weren't far behind her. B'Elanna wasn't due in engineering for another hour and since Chakotay had some time, she decided to stick around and see what her old friend was up to.
"Chak, I'm gonna get another coffee--want one?" She wasn't surprised when he shook his head declining her offer. He never was much for coffee. Grabbing a cup she returned to the table. "What's new friend?---haven't had much time to talk lately."
They had been through a lot together in their time as Maquis. They fought together, keep their ship running on spit and bailing wire, laughed together, cried together and for a short time loved together. In the end they had become friends---forever friends.
"Well you have this boyfriend now--no time for me anymore." He missed talking to her, but he was happy for her just the same.
“I'd swat you if I had the strength--Tom kept me up half the night." B'Elanna shook her head, but didn't seem to be unhappy with the situation.
"What's the matter - my tough little Klingon can't keep up with her fly boy?"
"Don't let him fool you--he's not so tough either." She hesitated. *Hell this is Chak, my old friend.* So---what did you do to make the Captain choke?---Don't deny it I know it was you---Black lace what?" She was laughing, as she watched his face turn red--she knew she hit a nerve.
"Inside
joke." He smiled. "So I hope you and Tom weren't doing any
thing I wouldn't do."
"Yea, like there IS anything you wouldn't do---don't change the subject." She considered him. "It's me----B'Ella--I know how you feel about her--I sensed a little---easing of the tension---am I right?"
"Maybe a little --not sure yet--well -yea I guess you could say a little.---B'Ella -don't say anything-yet--OK?" He knew he could trust her---she truly was his friend.
"You know I won't. I hope it works out this time." She touched his hand across the table and he knew she meant it.
"Me too." He stood up and cleared the table. "Gotta go --Captain will kill me if I'm late." He gave her on of his famous grins and started to walk away. He turned back and winked at her. "B'Ella --underwear---black lace underwear."
"Hers or Yours?” She called after him.
The scans of the planet showed no significant life forms. There appeared to be sufficient plant life, hopefully some editable items among them, and the prospect of dilithium was still holding true. They would be in orbit just past 1200 hours tomorrow and preparation were underway for several away teams to beam down, once the scans and scout team cleared them to do so. The first team, led by Harry Kim was scheduled to beam down at 1230 hours. They would be responsible for scouting the area and making sure conditions were suitable for the other teams to follow. Several more teams would follow at approximately 1330 and if all went well, the following day shore leave teams would be allowed as well as work details. Chakotay was working on putting together teams and scheduling. The first team was expected to beam down in just over 24 hours. Chakotay wanted to go over some of the teams with the Captain, as well as get some feedback on shore leave, not to mention that he just plain wanted to see her. He stood outside her ready room--the chime sounded only once.
"Come." She was seated behind her desk going over reports, which rapidly piled up, about the planet on her view screen. "Chakotay, what can I do for you?" *could have phrased that better.*
*Boy,
was that a loaded question--behave, she wouldn't like to hear that now.*
"I wanted to go over these schedules and the away teams." He sat
across from her. "What about Naomi?"
"I
spoke with Ensign Wildman, we decided she will take Naomi down day
after tomorrow, if everything goes a planned. Will you go with them?" She
spoke without taking her eyes off the padd he had given her.
"Sure, but I thought you might like to accompany her yourself."
"Yes--well I think I'll wait a few days before beaming down." She smiled. "You know how I love to have the ship to myself--."
"And with most of the crew on leave or work detail, you'll only have a skeleton crew on board." He finished her thought. "And may I ask what you do all 'alone' on YOUR ship?" His smile dancing in his eyes.
"It's just so quiet and peaceful."
"Confess Kathryn--just what is it you do---dance naked on the bridge?--meet Q for a tryst on the holodeck?--run barefoot through the hydroponics lab?"
They were both laughing - she was shaking her finger at him. "I need to find more work for you; you have far too much time on your hands." *actually a tryst on the holodeck sounds pretty darn good--only I'd much rather it be with you* She could feel her color rise at the thought and tried to control it by concentrating on the padd in front of her. "These look good. We'll start shore leave rotation day after tomorrow. You can begin with your group, including Samantha and Naomi." It came out faster and a little sharper than she intended, but it served to keep her color down.
He gave her a puzzled look, but she was looking down. "Aye Captain---will there be anything else?"
"No, nothing, dismissed." She said it without looking at him and instantly regretted it. "Commander--wait."
"Yes, Captain?" He turned back to face her.
"Are you-- Do you have dinner plans?" She was looking at him now.
"No, Captain, I do not." He answered as straight faced as possible, in his best Tuvok voice.
*So he's gonna make me pay---OK* " I was hoping you would join me. I believe it IS my turn to host." She could do Tuvok too!
"I find that acceptable. Will we be dining in the mess hall or your quarters?"
"My quarters, shall we say 1900?"
"That would be suitable and will you be preparing dinner?" He couldn't keep the smile out of his voice.
"I believe I can manage it. Does that cause you concern?" She was smiling again.
"No, not at all. I'll just alert sickbay and see you at 1900 hours." He made a quick exit before she could answer, or throw something at him.
The Captain left the bridge at 1600 hours, turning it over to Chakotay for the remaining hour of alpha shift. She knew Tuvok would have a raised eyebrow for her, so she never looked in his direction.
“Commander, you have the bridge, I'll be in my quarters if I'm needed." She rose and walked directly to the lift, not looking at any of her bridge crew.
Once inside her quarters, she programmed dinner into her replicator, set up the dinning area complete with dinner candles, arraigned several large pillows beneath her view port and ran herself a bubble bath. While the bath ran she laid out her clothes. The color would again be blue this time a shade deeper than her eyes. He liked her in blue, but he had never seen this before. Mark had given it to her just before she left, which gave her a momentary twinge of guilt. *Thank you, Mark.* It was a floor length hostess dress, slit on both sides to just above the knee, sleeveless, it wrapped around forming gentle folds across her breasts and a vee at the neck. The entire dress was held together by one fastener on the left side of her waistband. She selected matching blue silk panties to wear under it---nothing more. Finished, she replicated a glass of wine, pinned up her hair and relaxed in her tub.
1900 hours sharp her chime sounded. Not wanting any surprises, she requested the computer to identify her guest.
"COMMANDER CHAKOTAY." Came the reply.
Kathryn slid the door open for him, stepping back to allow him to enter. As he moved past her into the room she picked up the faint scent of his cologne. He wore dark trousers and a shirt, almost exactly the same color as her dress, which was open at the neck, she could see a hint of his chest peeking out and the promise of his well muscled body through the fabric. He looked incredibly handsome and smelled divine; she was so busy drinking him in with her eyes, she didn't notice he practically devoured her with his. They stood quietly taking each other in for many minutes before he broke the spell by handing her the single red rose he carried.
"Thank you, Chakotay." Her voice sounded husky to her; she was sure he wouldn't miss it.
"You look very beautiful." He said stepping forward to gently press his lips to hers. He meant only to kiss her lightly as a greeting, but the feel of her arms wrapping around him, pulling him closer caused an electrical charge to surge through his body. The kiss deepened becoming long and passionate, her lips parted, her tongue entwined with his, her soft moans sending shivers down his spine. She broke the kiss but didn't relax the hold she had on his neck. As she leaned her head back to look at him he could see the smoldering passion in her eyes.
"As delicious as you are, I believe we should have dinner - -- need to keep our strength up-remember?" She smiled up at him, kissed him lightly and stepped away. "Wine?"
"Ice water might help, you vixen!" He grabbed at her.
"Maybe a cold shower?" She danced out of his grasp.
"Only if you take one with me." He kissed her gently brushing across her lips, planting small soft kisses down her neck to follow the vee of her dress. His hands caressed her shoulders running down her back, resting on her bottom, gently bringing her to him. He could feel the pounding of her heart under his lips, hear her breath quicken. He moved back, looking down at her. "Shower?"
"No, I wouldn't miss this feeling for the world." She spoke in a breathy voice. "Bourbon? I know I need one."
He laughed, patted her bottom and released her. "Can't take it? Wine will be fine."
"Be fair--it's been a very long time--very, very long time since I've allowed myself this type of indulgence." She handed him his wine and led him to the couch. He started to speak, - she put her fingers to his lips. "I know--my own fault."
He kissed the fingers she had used to silence him. "You don't have to wait any longer." He sucked one of her fingers into his mouth.
"At least till after dinner." She snapped, pulling her hand away.
"Promise? Only until after dinner? I'm starved- let's eat." He tried to tug her off the couch.
She was laughing and fighting him to stay put. "I didn't say what dinner."
Over dinner they discussed the M Class, away teams, shore leave and any thing else they could think of that wouldn't make them sound like sex crazed teenagers. Chakotay filed her in on the latest ship's gossip, which she enjoyed; sometimes even when it included her.
"So, Tom and B'Elanna. What's the story there?"
"Don't know exactly - word is Tom's pretty much settled down."
"Tom?! Our devil may care, Mr. Charmer, babe of the week Tom?!" She couldn't believe her ears.
“Yea one and the same." He chuckled. "B'Ella didn't say too much--just that he kept her up half the night."
"Doing what? Don't tell me B'Elanna didn't tell You--her buddy CHAK--come on spill it." She knew B'Elanna and Chakotay had been lovers; it never bothered her and even now she found their friendship more of a comfort than a threat.
"Honestly, she didn't say. I guess she was too interested in us to talk about them." He watched her carefully--he wasn't sure how she would take it now that it was so close to being true.
"US?! And just WHAT would make her think there even was an US?" Her face was stern but there was a softness in her eyes that gave her away.
"You did."
"I DID?!" Her eyes were wide.
"Yea--today when you choked on your coffee."
"Oh - you mean when YOU made me choke on my coffee." She locked her eyes with his. "So what did you tell her?"
"She asked what black lace was. I tried to change the subject but she wouldn't let me --so I told her--underwear." He shrugged and grinned at her. "So she asked if they were yours or mine."
Kathryn laughed out loud. "Yours?! Chakotay I never knew---maybe I should have a talk with Ms Torres; I could learn a lot."
He smiled. "Seriously though she wishes us well ---what she said was she saw less tension and hoped things worked out this time. Don't worry, B'Ella won't say anything--not even to Tom--not unless we say so. He reached across the table to take her hand, searching her eyes for acceptance.
"Do you think the rest of the crew will be accepting?" She truly looked worried it made him laugh. "You find that funny?"
"I find it absolutely hysterical, that a smart woman like you can be so native sometimes." He shook his head. "Don't you know they accepted it years ago? You are probably the only one left to convince --except maybe Tuvok. Hell, even Harry has come to terms with it."
"So I'm about the last hold out?" A devilish glint in her eyes. I might have to reconsider this."
"I'd say you've had long enough to consider this." His turn to be indignant. "Besides I know You---once you decide on a course of action you go for it. It seems to me, you've chosen your course for this evening already." He was looking far too smug.
"Oh and what makes you so sure?" She challenged.
"Well we're having wine and a candle lit dinner - alone in your quarter---"
"We've eaten here alone before." She interrupted.
"Yes, but never with you wearing a slinky, sexy dress---which, by the way is held together by only one fastener---and very silky--very skimpy panties-and --nothing else." He leaned back in his chair watching.
"And what makes you think that's all I'm wearing?" Her cheeks were a bright crimson, which couldn't be missed even in the dim light.
"Told you these hands know all." He started back at her smiling. "By the way--you should wear red cheeks more often--very becoming."
She tossed her napkin at him and began to clear the table. He helped her recycle the dishes and move the table and chairs back to their place against the wall. She fixed them an after dinner drink and motioned for him to join her on the pillows under the view port.
She was sitting crossed legged on a pillow, holding both drinks and laughing at him as he tried to lower himself gracefully to the floor. "What's the problem--too old to sit down here?'
"If you can do it so can I." He landed with a less than graceful thud.
"Oh---any thing I can do you, can do better and all that--come on old man you can do better." She handed him his drink.
"Not that I'm counting- or that it matters, but- aren't you older than me?"
"Ouch!---yes I am- so there is another reason to listen to me. Respect you elders!" She turned herself around leaning back to rest her head on his chest.
He placed his arm around her resting his hand on her hip. "Not bad once you're down here--think we'll ever get up? He knew it was wrong as soon as he said it.
"God, I certainly Hope so!" She giggled, turning red again.
They sat a long time together, just watching the stars, her listening to his heart beating, enjoying the rhythm of his breathing. He was breathing in the scent of her, content to hold her and enjoy this quiet time together.
"I don't feel old. I feel brand new, young and alive. I haven't felt this good in years." She spoke softly not wanting to disturb the peacefulness they shared.
"I know what you mean--it's sort of corny, but I can't ever remember being this happy." He set down his drink and wrapped both arms around her kissing the top of her head. "I love you, Kathryn Janeway. I always will."
Putting down her glass, Kathryn turned around in his arms, placing both hands on his chest, deftly unfastening his shirt and answering him with a kiss. Gentle - luscious- lingering kisses, which she trailed down his neck and across his chest, stopping to graze each nipple with her teeth. She looked up at him through several strands of hair. "I love you." She murmured returning her attention to his mouth. Her lips parting his, exploring him with her tongue, her hands exploring his body- igniting the deep passion contained there.
Returning her kiss- his hands gently roaming down her back, Chakotay tried to control his growing need for her. He wanted to take this slowly-to savor every minute detail. Her tongue fondled his ear, her lips caressing their way down his body, pausing to tease his nipples- her hands reaching to the waist of his pants--he wouldn't last long if her mouth followed.
He gently rolled them over, so she lay on her back and refocused her attention by bringing her mouth up to meet his. He raised himself up to look at her, all her desire written clearly across her face, a soft moan escaped as she reached to bring him back to her. He brushed her lips with his, nibbled his way toward her ear and down her neck. His hands caressing her breasts through the soft material of her dress. His mouth found it's way to the vee in her dress, slipping the folds aside to kiss one breast, then the other. Kathryn gasped digging her fingernails into his back. Taking one erect nipple into his mouth he ran his hands lightly down her side over her hip coming to rest on her thigh, causing her to arch toward him. Without neglecting her breasts, he brought his hand to the left side of her waist, unfastening her dress. Spreading open the panels, he lifted himself to gaze at her before attending to the one remaining barrier. Starting with her mouth, he began to kiss his way down her body. He could feel her heart pounding and hear her breath coming in short gasps as he slowly worked his way down. His hands softly caressing her shoulders, her breasts and working their way down in the wake of his lips, she strained toward him moaning. His lips reached the top edge of her silk panties, he heard the quick intake of breath as she raised herself, hips swaying. He lay his head on her belly stroking the inside of her spread legs-sending shivers through her body. Kathryn moaned as she clutched at him urging him on. Chakotay lifted his head and began kissing her belly, his tongue tracing a line from her navel to the edge of the silk, which he slipped over her raised hips, freeing her at last. His hands eased their way back up her thighs, his tongue worked it's way down to meet them. Depositing deep open kissed, stroking the inside of her thighs he lowered himself between her legs-slipping his arms under her--hands coming around to rest on her hips. He kissed her lips and he would her mouth, softly at first, growing in intensity as his tongue explored her depths. Licking --tasting--tasting-teasing-slowly devouring--drinking in the sweet salty taste of her, probing circling seeking out her swollen hardness.
Kathryn arched toward him moaning, thrusting her hips, gasping, clasping her legs around him to draw him into her. He increased his tempo--stroking--sucking-circling stroking faster and faster. Kathryn thrashed -bucking her hips toward him--moans became cries-cries turned to gasps--clutching at him-her thighs convulsing around him. Her body stiffened, he heard her sharp intake of breath--stroking -until her cries became screams -fingers entwined in his hair, shouting his name. He could feel her pulsing under his mouth, he continued as wave after wave washed over her.
Finally, he withdrew, freeing himself from the last confines of his clothing, and moved over her, kissing her as she maneuvered under him. He looked down at her face, her hair sprayed against the pillow, He could feel her heart pounding, her chest heaving with every breath, for a moment he drank in the sight of her. "Kathryn." He whispered and she looked up at him. For an instant they were joined --locked together more intimately with their eyes than any bodily contact would ever allow. "I love you" Hissed across his breath and he bent down to cover her mouth, her murmured response lost in his kiss. She positioned herself, welcoming him, drawing him in, as he slowly lowered himself to her. It had been five years since she had made love and he was ever mindful of that fact, as he eased himself into her, allowing her time to accommodate him--slowly. He rolled her over, positioning her on top of him, holding her hips steady, gently rocking her as she kissed and caressed his neck and chest -teasing and tantalizing as she pressed herself to him, soft moans escaping. He slipped one hand between them to stoke just above where they were joined, her breathing became ragged again. He rolled them again, bringing her back down to the carpet, kissing her deeply. She bucked against him gasping and he could feel her start to convulse and clench around him--with several powerful thrusts he gasped her name--an animal-like sound coming from the back of his throat, as he gave himself up to her filling her with his warmth.
Kathryn held him there, wrapped tightly around him for a long time, enjoying the crushing weight of him. He worried, he was to heavy for her, but she refused to release him, so he rolled them again, once more bring her to the top.
"OK --all this turning is starting to make me nauseous." She smiled down at him.
"I was beginning to think I would crush you."
"Ha-- won't get rid of me that easily--Mr. Chakotay!" There was a sparkle in her eyes as she slid her body to the floor and sat up beside him. "Bubble bath."
"You're gonna take a bath?" He didn't think he had the strength to move--she was full of life--somehow not fair.
"No--WE'RE gonna take a bath." She jumped up, heading for the bathroom. She heard him grumble behind her as she fixed their bath. The tub certainly wasn't as large as the one he built her, but she thought they could fit. She returned to the other room to find him almost asleep. "No way--let's go." She took both his hands pulling him to his feet and leading him toward the bathroom.
"Looks good, but how are we gonna get both of us in there?" He thought she had lost her mind.
"Just get in and relax; I'll fit in around you. I'll be right back." She slipped out of the room, before he could object further. When she returned, she was carrying a tray with champagne and a bowl of strawberries. "Desert!"'
He laughed. "I thought we just had desert!"
"Only the beginning, my love, only the beginning." She set the tray next to him and stepping into the water, positioning herself in front of him so that she leaned back and rested her head on his chest.
They sipped champagne, nibbled strawberries and relaxed in the luxury of warm bubbles and smooth bodies. After a while, she turned, kneeling in front of him. Kathryn placed a strawberry in her mouth and began to feed it to him. He reached out to fondle her breasts, as they nibbled their way through the strawberry toward each other. Juice trickled down their chins, as their mouths found each other. They kissed through the taste of strawberry and she licked the sweet juice from his lips, following the sticky trickle down his chin to his neck. He wanted to taste the fruit on her but she shivered and her realized the water had turned cold.
“Come on you--before we freeze in here." As he said it, he rinsed the strawberry from both of them and raised her up to allow for his own escape. Grabbing two towels, she wrapped herself in one and used the other to rub him dry. At first she quickly wiped the water from him and then she slowly used the towel to gently message his body. Kathryn took both his hands and walking backwards, she led him to her bedroom. When her legs came in contact with the bed, she pulled him close and kissed him. Her hands softly caressing his shoulders and around to his well muscled back. She began slowly working her mouth down his body in a delicious line of moist open kisses. She wanted all of him- to experience him in every way--to touch and taste every part of him. Leisurely she caressed him with her hands, fondled him with her tongue, exploring every part of him.
His fingers laced through her hair as her mouth blazed a trail across his body. Arching his back, Chakotay moaned as she sucked and teased his nipples, nipping each one before searing his flesh as she licked her way across his chest and down his stomach. Her hands ran down his sides across his buttocks, as her tongue traced the line across his pubic hair. He gasped as her mouth encompassed him-her tongue circling the tip and running down the underside, savoring the warm salty taste of him. He was losing himself in the velvety warmth of her mouth, his heart pounded, his breath came in short gasps, his fingers almost painfully entangled in her hair. He groaned as she suddenly released him.
Kathryn stood running her finger nails up his back, she took both sides of his face and brought his mouth down to hers. He pulled her to him, kissing her deeply--she slipped from his grasp, kissing her way down his neck and across his shoulder until she stood behind him. Kissing the back of his neck, exploring his ear with her tongue as she ran her hands over his shoulders and across his chest. Grazing him with her nails, stopping to gently fondle his nipples, she licked and kissed her way down his back. Kathryn slid one hand down to stroke him as she sank to her knees behind him. She slipped the other hand between his legs cupping him as her tongue continued it's explorations. He could feel her hot breath across his bottom. His blood was racing, his chest heaving with each breath-he stifled a cry, as she drew her hand back spreading him just enough to allow her tongue access. Unprepared for the sensations her mouth created, his knees buckled and his heart pounded forcing a groan from deep inside him. He reached for her hands pulling her up and around, bringing her with him as he sank onto the bed.
Landing side by side, their eyes met for just a moment before he covered her mouth with his, turning her onto her back and untucking her towel. She moaned as her ran his hand down her body and sucked in her breath, as he reached into her moist folds. With a surprising show of strength, she rolled on his back, fixing his eyes with hers as she straddled him. Slowly building up the rhythm, she raised and lowered herself, as he thrust up to meet her, his fingers sought out her swollen hardness stroking in time to their movement. Arching her back, she let out a low throaty growl, as she ground herself to him, her body stiffened and her inner muscles grabbed him in a tight pulsating rhythm. Grabbing her hips he thrust once more-calling out her name as he flooded her with his warmth.
Collapsing against him, she made no effort to change position, still straddling him, she was lulled to sleep by he beating of his heart, her head resting on his chest. He lay awake piecing together the events of the past week, this woman would never cease to amaze him. Once she made a decision, there was no holding back. Stroking her back, he silently thanked the spirits--the gods--whoever or whatever had brought about this change of heart. His eyes had just begun to close when the computer gave her wake up call.
"CAPTAIN THE TIME IS 0500 HOURS---CAPTAIN THE TIME IS 0500 HOURS"
She groaned, rolling off of him. "How long was I asleep?" She sat up shaking her head.
"About five minutes." He laughed. "Gonna be a hell of a day!"
"Oh god!' She growled and headed for the shower.
*Definitely was a hell of a night* Chakotay thought as he replicated breakfast including an entire pot of coffee. She emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel and he met her at the door with her first cup of coffee.
"God, I love you!' She declared snatching the coffee and hearing toward the bedroom. "Breakfast smells great--I'm starved--just let me grab a robe."
Kathryn
finished the entire pot of coffee while wolfing down several helpings of
breakfast. Chakotay hadn't seen her eat this much in any given week
never mind at one meal, sitting across from her he chuckled.
"What?--do
I have food on my face or something?"
"Kathryn, where are you putting all that food?" He was laughing full out now. "In five years I've never seen you eat so much."
She swatted at him and missed. "Must be the sudden increase in physical activity." She was smiling along with him.
"Well, now I know how to make you eat--only--don't do this in the mess hall. I'd hate to have to explain this to Tom." He was laughing as he ducked to avoid her swing, but he never took his eyes off her. He needed to see how she would react to the crew knowing about them.
"I'll try to control myself in front of Tom---for your sake." She smiled, but set down her coffee cup. "Seriously though--just let me have a few days to get used to it myself ---OK?"
"Kathryn, I've waited five years for this; I wanna shout it from the bridge or at least over the comm. system, but I guess, I can wait a little longer." He gave her THAT grin. "Just don't back out on me---please."
"I'm here to stay, Chakotay--for as long as you'll have me." She came around the table softly kissing his lips. "But right now I have a ship to run." She said as she darted for the bedroom to dress.
He followed her, catching her by the waist and spinning her around in his arms. "Forever." He whispered before covering her mouth with his own. He broke the kiss staring deep into her eyes confirming his words, then headed to his own quarters to prepare for the day.
End
chapter one.