The Wish - Part 22

“What do you mean he’s not doing anything for your birthday?” Nick asked, repeating word for word Lindsay and Melanie’s sentiments earlier that evening.

Justin looked up at him from the couch, tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.  “Brian just doesn’t believe in birthdays, only achievements.  Which is actually understandable considering his childhood.”

“What’s understandable?  That’s he’s too busy fucking around to throw you a birthday party?” 

“It’s not like that,” Justin said, hating that he sounded just like Michael…making excuses for Brian.  “Besides, you know I hate parties.”

Nick sat down next to him.  “He didn’t even get you a present?”

Justin shrugged, trying to hide his disappointment that Brian wouldn’t get him anything.  “It’s ok.  It’s not like we’re an actual couple.  We’re not like you and Kevin or Caleb and Mark.”

“Why not?  Ok, so your arrangement’s a little different.  But you care about each other and that’s the most important thing.  And that means that he should forget his fucking rules for once and buy you a goddamn present,” Nick pouted.  He expected to get another one of Justin’s excuses for Brian, but instead he heard a roar of laughter.  “What the fuck are you laughing about?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.  Just you…getting all worked up.”

Justin’s laughter was contagious and soon enough both of them rolled on the couch laughing hysterically. 

~~~

Leaving Nick’s apartment, Justin headed back to the dorm.  Dan convinced him to go out with him and his friends to celebrate Justin’s birthday.  Justin tried to resist, being bummed about Brian’s attitude, but Dan could be very persistent when he wanted to be.  So, Justin hurried home to get ready. 

He smiled when he saw a familiar face standing at the entrance of the building.

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what I’m doing here.  It IS somebody’s birthday,” Caleb smiled, giving his friend a hug. 

“Tomorrow,” Justin corrected him.

“I know.  But I figured you’ll be too busy with Brian and your family, so I thought I’d stop by today instead.”  Pulling away from Justin, he handed him a wrapped object.  “Here.  This is for you.”

“What?  No romantic dinner?”

“I think I’ll have to sign up for self-defense classes first.  I don’t think I could take Brian on in my current physical condition.”

Justin grinned and busied himself with ripping the paper off his present.  “Oh, wow,” he exclaimed when he realized what it was.  A camera.  The kind a lot of photographers used. 

Caleb smiled, elated by Justin’s reaction to the present.  “You said you liked photography and I figured that maybe you’d like to practice some more.”

“We could drive around town taking pictures again,” Justin added.

“Definitely.  It’ll be great.”

Justin wrapped his arms around the other man again.  “Thank you so much.  I love it.”

Caleb kissed the blonde’s cheek. 

“You wanna come up?” Justin asked, once again pulling away.

“Nah, I gotta go.  Mark’s waiting.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.  But we should hook up soon.”

“It’s a date,” Justin smiled, looking down at his present again.

“Bye, Justin.”

“Bye, Cale.”

They both smiled at each other one last time before Caleb walked down the stairs and got in his car.

~~~

Brian tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep long after the trick left.  On top of having the little voice in his head screaming at him to be a good boyfriend and be with Justin on his birthday, he also had to deal with disturbing visions flooding his mind once again.  He thought he had gotten rid of them. He kept remembering what Mysterious Marilyn told him.  That he was supposed to figure out for himself what it was that he had changed.  What the point of those visions was.  So when he stopped having them all together a few months ago he thought that somehow he found the answer.  He wasn’t quite sure what the answer was.  But as long as he didn’t have the visions anymore he didn’t really care.  The visions were supposed to lead him to the answer, to the truth.  And the truth was…he was happy.  He and Justin were both happy with how things were now.  And maybe that’s what he was supposed to figure out.  How to be happy.  This was where he was supposed to be.  Where both of them were supposed to be. 

But this theory was blown to pieces when a few days ago he started having the visions once again.  These were even more intense than the ones before. 

*Let him know you care.*

*I thought he did.*

He could clearly see the disappointment on Justin’s face because of something he did.  Or didn’t do.  That’s what it was about.  Maybe it was just some sort of guilt about blowing Justin off on his birthday.  But that did not explain the image of a brown-haired man he saw with Justin.  The image made him angry, jealous, and hurt.  HURT.  It hurt like hell.  He felt Justin slipping away…further and further away…from him.  Because of that guy.  That man.  That stranger in his head.  The man that Justin left with.  Walked away from him with.

*The guy that played the violin, he was incredible.*

*Don’t you ever wonder what he’s doing when you’re not around?*

*What if there was someone else that he was seeing that you didn’t know about?*

*You sure are taking a lot of showers lately.*

Brian tried to shake the images off, tried to calm down.  None of it made sense.  And he didn’t know what to do.  Or how to fix it. 

*You might have given him something a little more thoughtful.*

*He loves me…in ways that you can’t.*

*In ways that I won’t.*

He could clearly see the hurt look on Justin’s face and it hurt HIM even more. 

*Let him know you care.*

The words rang in his mind over and over again.  Let him know you care.  Let him know you care that he’s turning nineteen tomorrow.  Let him know you care that he’s in your life.  Let him know you care that he was even born.  Let him know you care.

~~~

Justin was working on tying his tie when he heard the knock on the door.  His eyes widened when he found Brian dressed in a simple white t-shirt, blue jeans, and black leather jacket standing on the other side of the door. 

Looking Justin over, Brian smirked.  “Didn’t your daddy teach you how to tie a tie?”  He pushed his way past Justin and inside the room.

Closing the door, Justin turned around.  “No.  He was too busy being disgusted by my lifestyle and divorcing my mother.”

Brian smiled, walking up to him.  “Well, neither did mine.  He was too busy regretting the day I was born.”  He took the two ends of the tie in his hands while staring down into the pair of blue eyes.  “This isn’t the birthday suit I’d like to see you in,” he chuckled, then slowly slid the tie off Justin’s neck.  Clutching the tie in his hand, Brian walked over and dropped down on Justin’s bed.

“Brian, give it back,” Justin followed him, trying to get the tie back.  “Lindsay and Melanie will be here any minute now.”

“No, they won’t be.”

Justin stood up and looked at him confused.  “Why not?”

“Because I told them that you’re spending the day with me.”

“I am?” Justin asked, disbelief written all over his face.

“Yep.”

“I thought you had a shit load of work to do.”

Brian stuck his tongue in cheek and smiled.  “Fuck work.”

“Since when?”

Brian stood up and walked up closer to Justin.  “Since I realized that turning nineteen is an important event in a young man’s life.”

Justin scoffed.  “Right.”

Ignoring the mocking expression on the teen’s face, Brian continued, “So, I decided that we should celebrate this day properly.  So, come on, go change into something more…” he looked Justin over again, “comfortable.”

Justin finally realized that Brian wasn’t kidding or teasing him.  He really was going to celebrate his birthday.  And he smiled.  “Where are we going?”

Brian shrugged.  “It’s your day.  You decide.  We’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Uh…no trips to Vermont and no commitment ceremonies.  Everything else is fair game.”

Justin grinned.  “Works for me.”  He busied himself getting rid of the sports coat and a constricting shirt and pulling on his khaki pants and a simple sweater.  When he was done, he grabbed his sketchbook and pencils and a box of charcoal and stuffed into his backpack.

“What’s that for?” Brian asked.

“You’ll see,” Justin replied with a mischievous smile.

“You’re not gonna draw all day, are you?” Brian whined.

“You said we get to do anything I want.”

Brian sighed.  “I’m gonna regret saying that, aren’t I?”

Justin just flashed him another smile and then opened the door into the hall.  The teen laughed when he heard his lover curse behind him.

~~~

Brian would never admit to anybody, but he was actually having fun.  First, they headed to the Carnegie Museum of Art.  Justin talked his ears off about Vincent van Gogh and Hilaire-Germain-Edgar Degas among other famous and not so famous artists.  After eating lunch at the local café there, they decided to ride the Duquesne incline.  They spent some time on the observation deck while Justin worked frantically to put down on paper the beautiful view of Pittsburgh. 

After that they spent some time at Point State Park where Justin decided to get a few sketches of Brian. 

“Justin, it’s cold,” Brian complained.

Justin looked up from his sketchbook.  “Would you just stop whining?  You’re not the one who has to draw with frozen fingers, so just sit there and look pretty.”  He chuckled at Brian’s pout and turned his attention back to the drawing.

“We are NEVER doing THIS again,” Brian said after a few more minutes.

Justin mumbled something in return, not taking his eyes off the paper in his lap.

“Justin, did you hear me?”

Justin just nodded slightly, concentrating on getting the texture of Brian’s leather jacket right. 

“Are you done yet?” Brian reached for the sketchbook and Justin looked up just in time to snatch it away.

“It’s not finished.”

“Come one, let me see,” Brian tried to reach the sketchbook.

“No.”

Brian got on top of the teen, the two wrestling and rolling around on the ground.  Brian gave out a victory yelp when he gained control of the rectangular object and looked at the drawing.  He felt a breath catch in his throat.  It always amazed him how Justin was able to see him.  REALLY see him.  Not just the beautiful face or sexy body.  Justin saw through him.  And what was even more amazing, but also scary, he could transfer what he saw on paper.  For everybody else to see.  Not that they would believe that this man was Brian.  The man looked happy.  Relaxed.  Content.  Not a lot of people had ever seen Brian that way.  The man in the drawing was in lo…where he was supposed to be.  He knew that now. 

Brian put the sketchbook aside and looked into his lover’s eyes.  The emotions and feelings he saw in Justin’s eyes mirrored the same feelings and emotions of the man in Justin’s drawing.  Justin saw it in his eyes.  He couldn’t hide it, no matter how hard he tried.  And at that moment he wasn’t sure he wanted to.  He leaned in and kissed his little artiste tenderly.

“Come on, birthday boy, we’ve still got things to see.”  He stood up, pulling Justin after him.

They exited the park, hand-in-hand, not giving a damn who saw them or what the rest of the world thought.  It was just the two of them.  It was Justin’s day.  It was THEIR day.  They put all their worries and insecurities and responsibilities aside and just enjoyed being together.

~~~

Brian parked in front of his building.  They had decided to come back to the loft and “rest” before heading to Ben’s surprise party.  Brian took Justin’s hand as soon as he walked around the Jeep.  He pulled the teen closer, his lips covering Justin’s.  He just couldn’t get enough of the blonde today.

Justin pulled away and smiled.  “I’ll be up in a few.”

Brian narrowed his eyes.  “Where the hell are you going?”

“Just across the street to the store.”

“What for?”

“It’s a surprise.”  A mischievous grin spread across his face. 

“It’s YOUR birthday.  Why am I getting a surprise?”

Justin took a step closer and placed a small kiss on Brian’s lips.  “You said we get to do anything I want,” he whispered.

Brian stared into Justin’s eyes, trying to figure out what the younger man had planned.  Whatever it was it was bound to be good, he was sure of it.  “Fine, let’s go,” Brian started to pull him toward the street.

“No,” Justin stopped him.  “You go up and get…comfortable…” he grinned, “and I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

The voice inside Brian’s head told him to go with Justin, but the smile on the blonde’s face said that he was just being silly and paranoid.  “Don’t get lost, little boy.”

“I won’t.” 

Kissing his lover one more time, Justin started to cross the street while Brian busied himself with punching the code to the front door.  Suddenly a shiver ran down his spine and a sense of dread filled his whole body.  Brian spun around and froze when he saw a silver SUV heading straight for his lover.  “Justin…JUSTIN!!!” 

The images flooded his mind. 

*Where are you headed?*

*No place special.*

*I can change that.*

*This is the best night of my life.*

*Even if it was ridiculously romantic.*

*He loves me…in ways that you can’t.*

*In ways that I won’t.*

*Can’t you see it?  He’s just as miserable as you are.*

*Make a wish.*

* You changed something.  Something big.  Something important.  That’s why it’s haunting you.  HE’s haunting you.*

* I wish I didn’t meet Justin that night.*

And he knew.  He understood now.  Understood what it all meant.  These weren’t fantasies, or dreams, or some sort of psychic visions.  They were MEMORIES.  Memories of another life.  Life where he DID meet Justin that night.  Life where Justin fought to be with him.  Life where he fought hard to not let some blonde twink in.  Life where he failed.  Life where they both got burned badly.  Life where he had to watch Justin walk away from him with another man. 

Life where Justin wasn’t lying lifeless in the middle of the road.

“No.”  Brian shook his head, trying to get the image in front of his eyes out of his head.  He didn’t want to see it.  He never wanted to see it again.  Hear it again.  The sound of Justin’s body being hit by a car.  “God, no.” 

He finally made himself move, sprinting to where a crowd was now forming in the middle of the street and pushing people out of his way trying to get to his lover.  Brian felt like the air was knocked out of him when he finally saw Justin.  “Oh, God.”  He was breathing erratically as he dropped to his knees beside his unconscious lover.  “Justin,” he said quietly, the tears already threatening to overflow as he hovered over the teen’s body.  “Justin…get up…come on…get up…please…don’t do this to me now…not now.”  No answer.  “Please…just get up…open your eyes, Justin.”  His voice cracked.  He tried to take a deep breath in, but there wasn’t enough air.  “Please…please, just open your eyes,” he whimpered.  Nothing.  He ran his hand over Justin’s face.  He looked down at his hand when he felt something warm and wet.  Blood.  Justin’s blood.  Everywhere.  So much of Justin’s blood.  He thought his heart stopped beating.  He leaned his head against Justin's bloody face and let the tears pour out. Cupping Justin’s face in his hands, he held on for dear life, his salty tears mixing with his lover's blood. “No, no, no, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Go to Part 23

 HOME