Not Easy - Part 6

Justin slid the door shut behind him, making sure that nobody inside the loft would hear them.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked his father as he turned around.

“It’s my daughter’s birthday,” Craig replied.  He had a small bouquet of lilies in one hand and a wrapped box in another.

Justin snorted out a laugh, “After all this time you finally remembered you have a daughter?”

“Justin.”

“Justin WHAT?!” Justin shouted.  “What possible excuse can you give me?!”

Craig looked down guiltily, “I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know?  You mean your fucking secretary didn’t give you all fifty messages that I left you?” Justin asked sarcastically.

Craig shifted uncomfortably.  “I didn’t think you’d be in trouble like that.”

“What did you think was gonna happen?  What did you think we were supposed to live on?  My million dollar trust fund?”

When his father didn’t say anything, Justin turned around and started to pull the door open.  “Stay away from us,” he said.

“I want to see my daughter.”

Justin stopped and looked at him, barely containing his anger.  “Molly won’t want to see you.”

“I want to see my daughter,” Craig repeated, more forcefully this time, but to Justin it almost sounded like a plea. 

He pulled the door open and went back inside.

All of his friends were waiting for him at the door, looking at him anxiously. 

“Where’s Molly?” Justin asked Brian.

“Bathroom.”

Justin nodded.  Ignoring the looks everybody was giving him he made his way across the loft.

“Can I come in?” he asked popping his head in the door.

Molly was sitting in the corner on the floor, staring at the drawing Justin gave her only a little earlier.  She nodded her head.

Justin closed the door behind him, then walked over and sat next to her on the floor.  They sat in silence for awhile.   

“She was beautiful,” Molly said, staring at the drawing.

Justin looked at her, startled a bit, then down at the drawing.  “Yes, she was.  You look just like her.”

“I look just like you,” she looked up at him.

Justin smiled, “Well, I’m beautiful too.”  The joke had the intended effect on his sister because she smiled.

“Dad wants to talk to you,” he said, his face getting serious again.

“I don’t wanna see him.”

“Molly.”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“After what he did to you?”

Justin sighed, “What happened between dad and I is between dad and I.  It has nothing to do with you, with how he feels about you.”

“No,” she said again, getting up. 

“Do it for mom.”

“Mom?  Mom is dead!” she shouted angrily, tears running down her cheeks.

Justin took a deep breath in, then got up as well and walked over to her. 

“Then do it for me,” he said softly. 

Molly tried to turn away from him, but he didn’t let her.  “Please.”  She finally looked up at him. 

When they walked out of the bathroom all the guests, except for the guys, Debbie, Vic, Lindsay and Melanie, were gone.  Justin watched Molly walk through the half-open door, then slid it shut to give them some privacy.

~~

It’s only been ten minutes but seemed like forever.  Brian watched Justin pace in front of the door, but didn’t make a move.  He honestly just didn’t know what to say or do right now.  So, he just waited quietly, like the rest of them.

Finally the door opened and Molly walked in, her little face stained with tears, holding the flowers and the present.  She stopped to look at Justin, then walked over to the kitchen and threw the flowers and the present into the trash can. 

“I hate him!” she shouted at Justin.  Then she picked up the drawing that she placed on the counter before she went outside and threw it into the trash as well.  “And I hate YOU!”

Justin winced at the pain her words inflicted.  It was like a knife cutting through his chest.  But he didn’t say anything.  He just watched his sister strut over to where her little “room” was and disappear behind the curtain.  He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.  Then he turned around and walked off into the bedroom, leaving everybody to stare after him, stunned and speechless.

Debbie did the only thing she could do then and started cleaning up.  She stopped when she felt Brian’s hand on her arm.  He just shook his head.

“But…” she tried to argue.

“We’ll get it tomorrow,” he said. 

Debbie nodded and the whole group staggered out, leaving Brian standing in the middle of the loft, feeling like a tornado had just flown through their home. 

~~

He woke up the next morning to find the other side of the bed empty.  Brian sat up and scanned the rest of the loft for his lover, but Justin was nowhere in sight.  He noticed that except for a few balloons and a ‘Happy Birthday, Molly’ poster everything else had been cleaned up.  He looked at the clock.  It was almost nine o’clock on Saturday morning. 

Slowly Brian got out of bed, pulled on the jeans that he threw on the floor the night before and went into the kitchen to get some coffee.  He was pouring water into the coffee pot when he saw a red head peek through the curtain.  Molly was still in her pajamas.  She looked at him, warily, hesitantly.  He picked up the drawing that she threw into the trash the night before.

“I think you dropped this,” he held out the drawing to her.  He had taken it out of the garbage after everybody left.

She took a few steps towards him, cautiously, and took the drawing, then clutched it close to her chest, looking even guiltier than she already was. 

“You hungry?”

She shook her head, then climbed onto one of the bar stools.  “Where’s Justin?” she finally asked.

Brian shrugged, “Probably went to the store.”

She looked down at the drawing in her hands, “He hates me.”

Brian couldn’t help but smile at how naïve she was, how everything seemed just black and white to her.  “He doesn’t hate you.  He knows you were upset.”

“But…”

She was cut off by the sound of the door opening then closing.  Justin walked in with a paper bag in his hands.  He stopped and looked at Molly, and then at Brian. 

“Where have you been?” Brian asked.

Justin set the bag on the counter, “Store.  We were almost out of coffee and since we’re gonna have guests over I thought we might need more.”

“Guests?” Brian asked, confused.

“Yeah, we didn’t get to eat the cake last night, so I thought I’d invite the guys and Deb and Lindsay and Melanie over,” he looked at Molly.  “Otherwise the three of us will end up in the emergency room from overeating.”  He winked at Molly and smiled.  Realizing that he really wasn’t mad at her she smiled too.  No apologies were necessary.

“You two should get ready,” Justin said.

Molly jumped off the stool, and picking up the drawing headed into her ‘room’ to change. 

Justin busied himself with taking the groceries out of the bag and putting them away.  Brian just stood there watching him, absolutely amazed at Justin’s parenting skills.  Somehow he always knew the right thing to do, the right thing to say, or not to say. 

“Come on, they’ll be here any minute.”  Justin’s voice interrupted his thoughts.  But instead of heading to the bedroom to change, Brian walked over to his lover and kissed him.

~~

Less than an hour later everybody came over.  Debbie, as always, was carrying a huge dish with muffins and bagels. 

Everybody was sitting at the table except for Molly who was running around showing off the presents she got the night before. 

“Molly, come on, put it all away,” Justin said while slicing the cake.

“Can I eat it on the couch?  Starkid is on Disney channel,” she asked.

“No.”

“But Justin,” she whined.

“Do you know how much that couch costs?  We’d have to sell you to pay for the cleaning,” he joked, “Now sit.”  Molly finally stopped running around and took the seat next to Debbie. 

Just then somebody buzzed in downstairs.  Justin and Brian looked at each other puzzled.  Everybody they were expecting this morning was already here.  Justin got up and went over to the door.

A couple of minutes later a man ran up the stairs.  “Justin Taylor?” the man asked.

“That’s me.”

“Here, this is for you,” the man handed Justin a big envelope, then turned around and ran down the stairs.

Closing the door behind him Justin went over to Brian’s desk and picked up a letter opener.  Quickly, he opened the envelope and took out the document that was inside.  He only read the first couple of sentences before realizing what the document was.  He tried to take a deep breath to calm down, but that didn’t help.  He tried to read the rest of the document but the words just all blurred together. 

“Sunshine, get your bubble butt over here and eat some cake,” Debbie yelled out.

Taking another deep breath, making sure that his voice won’t crack he said, “I’ll be right there,” without turning around.  Then hastily made his way across the loft to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. 

Once inside he let out a loud sigh.  Justin leaned on the bathroom sink, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.  He didn’t even hear the door opening and Brian walking in.  He looked up only when he felt Brian’s arms around his waist. 

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked, staring back at him through the mirror.

Justin knew there was no point in lying to him.  He was sure that Brian saw him open the envelope.  He knew that Brian saw him practically run to the bathroom.  And now he knew that Brian could feel him trembling. 

Justin turned around and gave him the piece of paper clutched in his hand.  Brian read what it said, the expression on his face changing from concern to anger. 

“That fucking asshole!” he growled.  He wanted to smash something.  Or better yet…someone…someone in particular…Craig Taylor.  The fucking prick was suing for custody of Molly.  Brian started to pace around the bathroom, but the look on Justin’s face snapped him out of it.  He took a step closer to his lover, taking Justin’s face into his hands. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be ok, you hear me?”

Justin didn’t answer. 

“Look at me.  Come on, look at me,” Brian tried to get his attention.  Finally the blue eyes were fixed on his.  “We’re gonna go out there and eat the fucking cake and then Molly’s going to spend the rest of the day with Debbie and we are going to sit down with Mel and figure this out.  Ok?”

Justin felt like he couldn’t talk. 

“Ok?” Brian asked again.

Justin didn’t trust himself to speak, so he nodded in response.  His whole body was shaking now.  

Brian leaned in and kissed him.  It was the only way he knew to calm Justin down. 

~~

After they joined everybody else in the living room they tried their best to pretend like everything was still great.  Brian pulled Debbie to the side and asked her to take Molly for the day, then told Melanie that they needed to talk to her. 

When everybody else finally left Justin, Brian, Melanie, and Lindsay sat in the living room.

It seemed like it took forever for Melanie to go over the documents.  Finally she took off her glasses.  She glanced at Justin, but looked away really fast.  Justin’s shoulders slumped, realizing what it meant. 

“There’s nothing I can do,” he stated, sound of defeat present in his voice.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Melanie said.

“That’s bullshit,” Brian said heatedly, “The guy hasn’t seen his daughter in months.  This has to count for something.”

“It does.  But he is still her father.  He, also, has a full-time job with a very sizeable paycheck and a house where Molly would have her own room while Justin is a college student with a minimum wage job who’s living with…”

“His gay boyfriend,” Justin finished.

“Yes.”  Melanie added.

Justin stood up and grabbed a jacket off the chair. 

“Justin,” Brian called after him.

Justin turned around and looked at him, “Look…I just…I’m sorry…I just have to be alone right now.”  Hurriedly he left the loft.

~~

Hearing the door bell going off again Craig rushed over to open the door only to come face to face with Brian.

“What the fuck do you want?” he asked his son’s lover.

“A word.”

“I don’t think we have anything to say to each other,” Craig tried to slam the door shut, but Brian stopped it with his foot.

“Oh, I think we do,” he said pushing the door open and walking in past Craig.

Craig closed the door behind him and turned around.  “Ok, fine.  Talk.”

“Leave them alone,” Brian simply said.

“Excuse me?”

“I said leave Justin and Molly alone.  They’ve been through enough.”

“Get the fuck out,” Craig said, pulling the door open again.

But Brian continued, “They finally feel like the world isn’t crumbling around them.  They don’t need this bullshit.”

“I don’t think this has anything to do with you,” Craig said.

“It has EVERYTHING to do with me,” Brian replied, barely controlling his anger. 

The two men stared at each other, both fuming, both ready to explode. 

“I am doing this for Justin, for both of them,” Craig said honestly.

“For Justin?” Brian laughed.  He wondered if Craig even realized just how comical that sounded.

“Yes.  He’s not even twenty-one yet.  He doesn’t need to be a parent, doesn’t need these responsibilities.”

Brian was getting even more frustrated.  Where did Craig get off acting like he actually knew Justin?  “Maybe you should let HIM decide what it is that he wants or needs.”

“They need someone to take care of them,” Craig said.

“Somebody is,” Brian shot back.

“You?”

Brian sneered, “Oh, I see.  That’s what this is all about.  It just kills you that now not only Justin lives with me, but also Molly.  That they both care about me.  It must eat you up inside to know that I’m a part of BOTH of their lives.”

“No, it has nothing to do with that,” Craig said, trying to hide the resentment in his voice. 

“The fuck it doesn’t.”

“I’m his father.”

“His father?” Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  He actually had to laugh.  “His father?!” he shouted, this time not laughing.  “Where were you when he was in a coma for two weeks?  Where were you when he had to quit school because he thought he’d never draw again?  When he had to take up the world’s shittiest job in order to pay for college which you…YOU…his FATHER was supposed to do?  Where were you when he had to drop out of college in order to take care of Molly?  Where the FUCK were you when he had to tell his sister that she’d never see her mother again?  HUH?!  Where were you then, DAD?!”

Craig tried to hide the fact that he was shaking and fought hard to get a hold of his emotions, hating that everything that Brian said was true.

“Everybody makes mistakes, Brian,” he tried to sound as calm as he could.  This was his only excuse. 

Brian smirked, shook his head in disbelief, then started to leave.  “You’re making one now,” he said, turning around.  Closing the door behind him he left.

~~

Brian leaned against the kitchen counter watching his lover put the last of Molly’s things into a bag.  Justin had been amazingly calm and composed throughout the whole time, being the strong one once again.  He comforted his sister when she cried and took care of everything that was needed to be done.

“I think this is it,” Justin brought out the bag and placed it on the floor by the door next to another one.  Then he walked over to his sister who was crying on the couch.  He sat down next to her.

“I’m not going,” she whimpered.  “I’m staying with you.”

“You can’t,” Justin simply said. 

“Why not?  I’ll just tell him that I wanna stay here.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” he said quietly.  “You have to go with him.”

“No.”

“Molly.”

“NO!”

She tried to get up but he put his hand on her arm.  “Look, it’s going to be great.  You’ll have your own room again.  And I mean a whole big huge room that’s all yours and not this little corner you have here.  And you will be able to get those white shoes you’ve wanted.  And anything else you want dad will get for you.”

“I don’t care.  I want to stay with you and Brian.”

Justin sighed, “It’s gonna be ok, I’m promise you.  I’ll see you every Sunday.  And you can call me any time you want.”

She sniffled.

“It’s going to be ok,” he repeated, wiping the tears that stained her cheeks.  “You believe me, don’t you?”

She nodded. 

They heard the buzzer going off.  Knowing what it meant, Molly threw her arms around Justin.  “I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” he said in return.

He let Craig in and handed him two bags containing Molly’s things.  Molly gave a quick hug to Brian and then another one to Justin before leaving with her father.

~~

After he shut the door behind his father and Molly, Justin turned around and headed for the bedroom. 

When Brian showed up at the top of the stairs a few minutes later he found Justin putting his things into a bag.  Trying to fight the growing panic, Brian asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m packing,” Justin answered without looking up at him.

“Yeah, I can see that.  Where the fuck are you going?”

Justin stopped and looked up at him.  “Look, we both know that the only reason I’m here was because of Molly.  You have no idea how grateful I am for that, for your help.  I don’t know what would have happened otherwise.  But she’s gone now.  So is the need for me to be here.”

Brian bit his lower lip, “So where are you supposed to go?”

“I’m gonna stay with Daphne for a few days until I can find a place.”  He stuffed his pants into the bag.

Brian put his hand on Justin’s arm, trying to stop him.

“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me,” Justin said, looking up at him once again.

“Is that what you think?” Brian took a step back.  “That I took you in because I felt sorry for you?”

Justin shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, I don’t.  I don’t feel sorry for you, Justin.  I never have.”

Justin looked at him surprised.

“There were people lining up to take care of you if you’d only let them.  I took you in because I wanted to be the first one in line.”

Justin just stared at him speechless, taken aback by Brian’s revelation. 

“I’ve watched you these past few months and I was completely astounded at what you did,” Brian said. 

“What did I do?”

“You made this into a home.”  When he saw that Justin didn’t believe him, Brian continued, “I gave you a place to stay.  You turned it into a home…for Molly…for me…for us.  What you did for that girl…”  Brian shook his head slightly, still amazed by this young man, “She lost her mother, but because of you she feels safe…and loved…and happy.”

“Yeah, well, my dad didn’t see it that way,” Justin looked away, trying to blink away the tears.

“Fuck him.  He doesn’t see what I see.”

“And what do you see?”  Justin looked back at him.

Brian saw the tears in Justin’s eyes.  He took a step closer and said softly, “I see this remarkable…man...who would do anything…who DID everything…for his sister.” 

He took another step closer when he saw Justin’s lower lip quivering.  “You’re so strong.  You are so fucking strong.” 

Justin bit his lips, trying his hardest not to cry, but the tears still rolled down his face. 

Brian continued, “You have a sister who worships the ground you walk on and people who adore you.” 

Justin closed his eyes, not able to fight it any longer. 

“And…”  Brian stopped, wondering if he should say any more than this.  He knew he had to.  “And…love you.”

Justin’s eyes snapped open and looked into his lover’s eyes. 

Knowing that there was no going back, Brian said, “And want you to stay here.”

Justin shut his eyes, wanting to stop the tears but couldn’t.  He covered his face with his hands.  Feeling Brian’s embrace he leaned into his lover’s arms.  Brian hugged him even closer as Justin finally allowed himself to cry.

Go to Part 7

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