Assignment - Part 18:

Revelations

It had only been a few hours, but to Justin it felt like a lifetime had passed since he watched Brian walk out of the loft, leaving him behind.  Having left the CIA Operations Center, Justin headed over to Daphne’s, hoping that his friend was home this late in the evening.

While he didn’t feel much like talking, Justin didn’t want to be alone either.  So, he directed his Porsche to the quiet neighborhood where Daphne resided.

“What happened to you?” she asked as soon as she opened the door.  She was talking about the bruise that now graced Justin’s jaw where Brian had punched him earlier. 

“It’s a long story,” Justin answered as he walked past her.  He didn’t stop until he reached the couch in the middle of the living room and heavily flopped down into the sea of cushions and throw pillows.

Daphne locked the door behind him and followed him into living room, looking for a little more explanation than that.  “I’ve got time.”

Justin sighed, realizing that there was no reason to put it off any longer.  He pushed himself up and leaned forward, his hands clasped on his knees.  “Brian and I had a fight.”

Daphne sat down next to him on the couch.  “What?  About what?  And why the fuck did he suddenly decide he could use fists?”

Justin smiled at her, realizing that she misunderstood him.  “Not that kind of fight.”

It took only a second for Daphne to understand what he was telling her.  Her eyes widened.  “Oh, my God.  What happened?”

“He knows,” was Justin’s response.  He shook his head, gathering his thoughts.  “That the CIA knows about him working for Stockwell.”

“So, what now?”

Justin shrugged.  “I have no idea.  The CIA will probably keep looking for him and I…”

“Looking for him?  What are you talking about?”

Justin looked away, guiltily.  But if anyone could understand why he did what he did, it would have been Daphne.  “I…he’s gone.” 

One didn’t have to be a genius to figure out what that meant.  Thankfully, Daphne also realized what that meant to Justin, how it affected him.  She scooted closer to him and put her arm around his shoulders.  “Are you ok?”

Justin leaned into her touch, letting her comfort him.  “I’m not sure,” he told her honestly.  “But I’ll have plenty of time to figure it out.”

Daphne pulled away slightly and looked at him, confused.  “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been suspended.”

“Suspended?” Daphne repeated in disbelief.

“Well, Lindsay insists it’s just a leave of absence, but she’s just being politically correct.”

“For what?”

Justin snorted.  “Are you kidding?  They know I let Brian go.  That’s enough to prosecute me if they wanted to.”  He saw an alarm register on Daphne’s face.  “I’m getting off easy,” he quickly added, calming her fears.

Calmer now, Daphne continued with the questions.  “So, what are you gonna do now?”

Justin slumped back on the couch, running his hands through his hair.  “I was thinking…” He looked over at her, unsure whether he should tell her about his decision.  He decided to go ahead.  “There’s an op being mapped out right now…”

“The Rogalov case?”

Justin nodded.  “I volunteered for it.”

“But it’s in Ukraine.”

“The farther away from here the better.”

“But…that op will last at least two years.” 

That was the main reason Justin chose it to begin with.

“It’s for the best,” he tried to convince her.  “Getting away from here - from Brian, and Lindsay, and Melanie, and all their bullshit…  It’s what I need.”

“But Justin…” her voice trailed off.  She knew him too well to know that he had already made up his mind.

Justin offered her an apologetic smile.  “It’ll be ok, Daph,” he said quietly.  “You’ll see.”

He could tell that she was fighting back the tears.  Now it was his turn to comfort her.  He moved closer and hugged her. 

~~~***~~~***~~~

It was the next evening that Justin finally left Daphne’s condo.  Since he was most likely to leave in a couple of weeks, the two friends decided to spend the day together, watching movies and binging on ice-cream and pop-corn. 

It was around nine when Justin pulled his Porsche into his driveway.  He got out of the car and walked over to the mailbox, checking for mail when a white sedan pulled up next to him.

Justin watched in surprise as Melanie lowered her window. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked his boss.

“Something happened.  We need to talk,” she said.  “Get in.”

He hesitated for a moment before walking over to the passenger’s side and getting inside.

“What’s going on?” he asked as she pulled away from the curb.

“We’ll tell you as soon as we get there.”

“Get where?  And who’s *we *?”

“You’ll find out soon, I promise.”  She then glanced over at him, offering him an encouraging smile.  “Sorry about last night.”

Justin returned her smile and looked out the window.  It seemed like all he could do now was sit tight and wait to get the answers.

It was about fifteen minutes later that Melanie pulled into a driveway in front of a house.  It was an old, small ranch that looked a lot like one of the CIA’s safe houses.  Realizing that he would not get the explanation until he was inside, Justin followed Melanie to the door. 

She used the key to unlock the door and held it open for him.  Justin stepped inside and froze.

There, in the middle of the room, sat Brian. 

Justin didn’t bother hiding the shock on his face as he stared back at the other man.  He heard the door close behind him and out of the corner of his eye saw Melanie make her way over to the same table where Brian and Lindsay sat.

“Sit down, Justin,” he heard Lindsay say.

He finally tore his eyes away from Brian’s and looked over at his boss.  “I think I’ll stand,” he ground out, barely in control of his emotions.  What he wanted right now was to know what the fuck was going on around him.

When Lindsay realized that he was not planning on taking a seat, she stood up.  “I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

Justin’s brief inspection of the room confirmed his suspicions that this was, in fact, a safe house.  He turned his attention back to the blonde-haired woman.  “Actually, I have one.  What the FUCK is going on?” he demanded.  He was at the end of his rope, sick and tired of lies and all the bullshit he had to put up with ever since he’d come back from Ukraine.  He turned and glared at Brian, who simply stared back at him – guilt written all over his face.

“As you know, Brian had been working for Jim Stockwell,” Lindsay began.  “What you don’t know is that he was working undercover.”

Justin’s eyes shot up to her face, realization hitting him full force.  He didn’t really need her to explain anything else.  It was all crystal clear to him now. 

“We needed to have something substantial, something that without a doubt would put Stockwell behind bars.”

Justin felt like he was just kicked in the stomach, having the wind knocked out of him.  Thankfully, he was standing right next to the couch and he slumped heavily down into the soft cushions.

Meanwhile, Lindsay continued.  “We got a lot of good information, but nothing substantial enough.  Brian was successful in getting in his inner circle, but Stockwell soon became suspicious of him.”

Justin snickered bitterly, understanding where she was going with it.  “So you got me to investigate Brian, to show Stockwell that the CIA was suspicious of Brian as well.” 

Unfortunately, it was all too clear to him.  He wished it wasn’t, but he knew what all of this meant.  “Which in turn served as a proof that Brian was loyal to Stockwell.”

“Yes,” Lindsay said. 

There was no need for any other clarifications or answers.  He knew he’d been played.  Everything was clear except for one thing - the man that Justin saw Brian shoot in Vermont.  “What about Brady Coven?”

“Aside from being Stockwell’s informant, Coven was an arms and drugs dealer.  He was also wanted for murders of at least four people,” Lindsay answered.  “The CIA wanted him gone almost as much as Stockwell did.”

Justin stared at the woman, the person whom he believed once upon a time to be his mentor, in disbelief.  “So, you used me.” 

“No, it’s not like that…” Lindsay began to object.

“Yes.”

Even though the voice was quiet, barely audible, Justin was startled by it – partly because it was the first word Brian had said since Justin got to the house, but also because for the first time since he met the man, Brian was being honest.  Justin held the other man’s gaze for a few seconds before Brian looked away.

“So, what the fuck do you want from me now?” Justin asked, returning his attention to Lindsay.  “You got what you wanted.  I did what you wanted me to do.”  He stood up and headed toward the door, not wanting to spend another minute in the same room with either one of the three – the people that had not only used him, but had also completely betrayed his trust.

“Stockwell knows what happened between you two in the loft,” Lindsay called after him. 

But Justin didn’t care.  He didn’t care what that meant or what the ramifications of it were.  All he cared about was getting as far away from Brian as he possibly could.

“I’ve been ordered to kill you,” he heard Brian say.

Justin paused, his hand slipping off the doorknob as he turned to face the other three people in the room.  He laughed bitterly.  “So, what do you want from me?  To play dead?  Or do you want to just put a bullet in my forehead?” 

“No, of course not,” Lindsay replied.  “But it’s not safe for you out there right now.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Justin replied, turning to leave once again.

“If I don’t do what I was ordered, Stockwell will have me killed,” Brian said.

Justin glanced over his shoulder at the other man.  “Well, sucks to be you,” he sneered.

“And then he’ll kill you too.”

Justin turned to face Brian.  “I told you before – I can take care of myself.”

“No.”

Justin turned his attention to Melanie who was now up as well, standing next to Lindsay. 

“You and Brian will stay here until we figure a way out of this,” the brown-haired woman continued.

“No fucking way!” Justin exclaimed.  “I don’t want to be in the same zip code, let alone in the same room as him.”  He pointed at Brian before once again making a move to leave.

“Justin.”  Melanie took a few quick steps, blocking his way.  “Believe me, I understand your distaste for Brian.”  She smiled slightly.  “And I sympathize.  I really do.  But this is the only way.”  When Justin began to object, she added. “This is an order.”

Justin and she stared off for a few seconds before the blond conceded, his shoulders slumping in defeat.  He couldn’t handle this anymore – any more explanations or excuses or orders.  So, he just quietly walked over to the entrance into the small bedroom, looking out the small window on the opposite wall, his back turned to the other three people in the house.

~~~***~~~***~~~

Finally, Lindsay and Melanie left, leaving him and Justin alone in the house.  Briefly glancing at the doorway into the bedroom where the blond was currently standing, obviously trying to avoid him, Brian finally rose from his seat for the first time since he’d gotten to the house. 

He walked over to the chair where he put his jacket and the bag he got from Lindsay earlier that day.  Unzipping the bag, he saw what he had been looking for…the gun Stockwell gave him.  He shot a glance over his shoulder at Justin, who was still standing in the same spot, oblivious to what Brian was doing, and took the gun out, closing the briefcase once again. 

He, then, crossed the room, walking up behind Justin.  He watched the blond for a moment, fingers firmly wrapped around the handle of the gun.

“There’s only one bed.”  Those were the first words Justin had spoken since Melanie and Lindsay left.

Looking around the small, bare room equipped only with a queen-sized bed, two nightstands, and a dresser, Brian shrugged.  “It’s big enough.”  Pushing past Justin, he walked over to the bed, placing the gun down on the nightstand.  Then, taking off his shoes, he flopped down on the bed, waiting for Justin to do the same.  But the younger man remained standing in the doorway. 

Brian knew what it was all about.  And as much as he did not want to have this conversation at the moment, he knew there was no way out of it. 

Sighing, he sat up, meeting Justin’s eyes.  “Come on, Justin.  It’s late and we should probably get some rest.  Who knows what’s gonna happen tomorrow?”

“I’m not sleeping in the same bed with you,” Justin replied. 

Brian snickered.  “Afraid I’ll take your virtue?  It’s not like I haven’t done it before.”

“Fuck you, Brian!” Justin shouted, moving for the first time since they got to the house.  Before the man had anything to say, Justin walked out of the room.

Despite his better judgment that told him to just give the other man some time to calm down, Brian got off the bed and followed his fuming lover into the living room.  “What the fuck is your problem?”

Justin turned around to look at him.  “Do you even have to ask?  You lied to me, Brian.  You fucking lied to me!”

“In case you’ve forgotten, you lied to me too,” Brian replied nonchalantly.

“That was different.  You knew…”

“That you were spying on me?  It doesn’t change the fact that you lied.  Pretended to be someone else.  You fed me lies.  You did what you had to do.  So, stop acting like a fucking victim.  Because you’re not.  You were doing your job.  And I was doing mine.”

Justin glared at him, but remained quiet. 

“Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late.  And I’m tired.”  With that Brian left the room, going back into the bedroom.

A few minutes later he heard footsteps.  Opening his eyes, Brian looked at Justin, who once again was standing in the doorway.

Brian realized that Justin had every right to be angry with him, with the situation that Brian and Lindsay had put him in.  But the truth was, Brian was angry as well – mostly with himself.  Because despite being the one to volunteer for the assignment, despite having come up with the idea in the first place, Brian found himself hating the fact that he had to lie to his lover and hating even more the knowledge that Justin was constantly lying to him. 

“It wasn’t all a lie,” Justin said, his voice barely audible, and Brian wasn’t sure whether he heard correctly.

“What?”

The blonde paused, considering whether he should say any more.  “The things I said…how I felt…it wasn’t all a lie.”

Brian studied the face of his lover, the face of the man he knew so well, but at the same time didn’t know at all.  He had no idea what parts of himself that Justin showed him were true and which were just an act.  But as he studied Justin’s face now, he could see that whatever else Justin lied about, he wasn’t lying about this. 

“I broke the rules,” Justin said, his voice barely audible.

A sad smile spread across Brian’s lips.  If Justin only knew…

He pushed himself up into a sitting position, never taking his eyes off the other man.  “You weren’t the only one,” he finally said.

The admission caught him by surprise almost as much as it did Justin.  And Brian waited with baited breath for the other man’s reaction.  He didn’t have to wait long, because soon enough he saw the corners of Justin’s mouth twitch before the beautiful lips of his lover spread into a small smile. 

Brian watched as Justin pushed away from the doorframe and slowly walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, mere inches away from Brian.

He could tell that Justin was just as nervous as he himself was about what was to happen next.  In a way, this was their first time together – without any pretenses, without lies and deceit.  It was just them now – open and vulnerable.  All his life Brian worked on never feeling that way, never opening up to another person.  He still wasn’t sure how the man that he had the most reasons to push away became the only man that he felt safe to open up to now. 

Brian shifted slightly, closing the small gap between their bodies, his fingers diving into the sea of golden strands as he pulled Justin’s face closer to his, his lips immediately finding Justin’s.

He didn’t even realize until now, with everything else that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, how much he had missed the other man. 

He wrapped his arms around Justin, pressing their bodies closer together while hungrily attacking the man’s mouth with his tongue.  While working on ridding Justin of his sweater, Brian lowered them down on the bed, pulling Justin to lie on top of him, lips still interlocked together.

With Justin’s sweater finally discarded on the floor, Brian rolled them over on the bed so that he was now on top and immediately began to work on ridding his lover of his pants as well.

“Brian, wait,” he suddenly heard Justin say.

The brunet looked up at his lover, wondering if Justin had changed his mind, if he realized that he wanted nothing to do with Brian anymore.  The thought made Brian’s stomach drop as he waited for Justin to say something.

“We don’t…we don’t have…”

Justin didn’t get to finish before Brian was already out of bed and going into the living room.  He found the chair where he left his jacket and rummaged in the inside pocket.  Finding what he was looking for, Brian returned to the bedroom. 

He stood at the foot of the bed and held up a handful of condoms in one hand and a tube of lube in another.  “Always be prepared,” he singsonged.

Justin’s mouth spread into a wide grin.

Brian tossed the objects in his hands on the bed and then quickly shed his clothes, tossing them on the floor.  Finally, he was ready to get back to business – and the first act he was planning on doing was finally getting his lover naked as well.  As soon as that was done, Brian spread out over Justin, blanketing the smaller man’s body with his own.

“Are you trying to tell me you actually knew we were gonna end up in bed here?” Justin chuckled.

“What can I say?  I’m psychic,” Brian smiled back.

His only response was Justin’s laughter that Brian quickly silenced with his mouth covering Justin’s.  He had no idea what it was or why, but now more than ever he felt the need to be inside his younger lover. 

Pulling away from Justin, Brian reached for the lube and the condom, leaving foreplay for a later time when their need for each other was not as intense.  A few short minutes later he was slipping inside Justin – slowly - fighting back the urge to push harder and deeper right away, letting Justin adjust to the feel of Brian’s cock inside of him. 

Brian wanted to prolong this for as long as possible – this feeling he felt as he moved inside Justin.  And for the first time in his life, instead of fighting it, he found himself being afraid - afraid that soon he would lose it, soon he could lose it all.

Go to Part 19

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