Assignment - Part 19:

 No Turning Back

It took Brian a few seconds to remember where he was when he woke up.  His eyes traveled around the room, taking in the old, dingy furniture and the peeling paint on the walls.  He remembered now that he was hiding like a coward in the CIA safe house from the man he worked so hard to bring down.  The only bright spot in all the craziness surrounding him was the fact that now Justin knew the truth.

Speaking of Justin…

Brian rolled on his back and turned his head to inspect the other half of the bed.  To his surprise, he found it empty.  He tried to stay calm and not let the fear that Justin didn’t listen and went out get the better of him. 

“Justin?” he called, already out of the bed and stalking into the living room.

He paused in the doorway, letting out a sigh of relief when his eyes settled on his lover’s figure.  Justin was sitting on the couch, staring out into empty space. 

“What time is it?” Brian asked.

“Little after six,” Justin responded, looking up at him.  A smile began to spread across his face.  “It’s a good thing there aren’t any neighbors around.”

Only then did Brian realize that he was still naked.  He glanced down, then back at Justin, returning the blond’s smile.  “They’re more then welcome to look.” 

Justin’s smile quickly faded and he looked away once again.

 “What the fuck are you doing up so early?” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged his shoulders.  “Couldn’t sleep.”

Brian nodded.  “I guess I didn’t do my job right,” he teased, but earned only a tiny hint of a smile from his lover.  He, of course, realized why Justin couldn’t sleep.  With everything that had happened, with everything that Justin had learned in the past twelve hours, no one could blame Justin for taking the time to process it all, least of all Brian. 

Brian turned to go back into the bedroom under the pretense of needing to get dressed.  Of course, Brian never did have a problem with nudity.  But he wanted to give Justin the space the young man needed right now. 

“Whose decision was it?”

Brian stopped cold in his tracks.  Slowly, he turned around to face Justin.

“To bring me into this,” Justin clarified.  “Who made that decision?”

Brian naively hoped that they could postpone this conversation until – well, indefinitely was his wish.  But of course, that wasn’t a reality.  The reality was that Justin had more questions than Brian had answers for.  And he wanted to know them now. 

“Does it matter now?” he asked, holding Justin’s gaze.

A sad smile formed on Justin’s lips.  “No.  I guess not,” he said quietly, looking away once again.

Brian nodded and once again turned to leave.  He walked over to the foot of the bed where he left his jeans the night before and put them on.  He tried not to think about it, about any of it, but the truth was too much to bear sometimes.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Brian stared out of the small window.

“How long do you think we’ll have to stay here?”

Brian turned in the direction of Justin’s voice.  The blond was now standing in the doorway, leaning against the door.  Unfortunately, Brian had no idea.  He knew that they would not be completely safe until Stockwell was gone.  And nobody knew better than him that the task was not an easy one to accomplish.  He could only shrug in response.

“I should let Daphne know I’m ok,” Justin continued.  “And my mom, too.  They’ll be worried that I…”

“It was me,” Brian interrupted, feeling the overwhelming desire to no longer have any secrets from Justin. 

Justin was obviously caught by surprise and it took him a few seconds to realize what Brian was admitting to.  Finally, a look of understanding showed on his face.  Brian waited for Justin to say anything, but no words came.  Instead, Justin walked over to the bed and sat down next to him.  Brian knew Justin wanted to know more.

“Lindsay presented a few options, but I was the one who made the decision,” Brian continued.

“Why me?” Justin asked quietly.

Brian felt a rising panic at the thought of opening up to the other man like that, but he knew that there was only one option left for him – to be completely honest. 

“It had to be believable.”  Justin gave him a puzzled look, so Brian tried to clarify.  “I had to be attracted to the other person.”

Justin snorted a laugh.  “So, I’m here because you got a hard-on when you saw my picture?”

“No,” Brian quickly answered.  He wanted to make that fact painfully clear.  “That’s not why you’re here.  Ok, it’s not the only reason why you’re here.  But the fact that I wanted to get you in bed as soon as I saw you made it a lot easier.”  What Brian didn’t say that it also made his life so much harder.

Suddenly, Justin laughed.  “Did Mel act as shocked as she did with me when you told her we slept together?”

Brian snickered.  “No.  I think she expected it from me.  But it was quite a shock to her to have the bright and shining future of the CIA act like Brian Kinney.”

Justin only laughed harder.  “So, us sleeping together was planned.”

Brian’s expression turned serious once again.  He knew that it sounded horrible, and it really was that way too.  They both went to extreme lengths to complete their assignments.  “The first night only,” he answered.  “After that the plan was to just let you get friendly, close, maybe hang out a little.  Just enough so that Stockwell would notice you being in my life.”

“So, then why did you take me home that second time?”

Brian looked over at his lover, remembering that night in Babylon, a smile spreading across his lips despite himself.  “You looked fucking hot.”

Justin bit his lower lip, but Brian could see the smile form on the blond’s lips as well.

“So, uhm…” Justin cleared his throat.  “Why didn’t you just tell me?  About the plan, I mean.  I could have helped move it along better than I did.”

If Brian could, he’d go back and redo it all over again.  But then, wasn’t that the case with most people and the biggest decisions of their lives?  In life there were no do-overs.  At least, not when it came to the decisions that mattered.    “Stockwell was watching my every move.  If you knew, you would have changed the way you were acting, your behavior.  We couldn’t risk that.”

“You should have told me,” Justin insisted.  “Especially after the mission in St. Petersburg.”  Justin, of course, was referring to the mission where both of them nearly died and after which Justin decided to not continue with his mission to spy on Brian.

What Justin didn’t know was that after that mission Brian wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth.  He was incredibly relieved when the next day Lindsay told him about Justin’s visit to her office after they got back.  It meant that he didn’t have to pretend to not know what Justin was up to every single time they were together. 

“It didn’t really matter after that,” Brian said instead.  “Stockwell seemed to get the point.  Besides, other things happened.”  Brian’s voice trailed off as he remembered those things – the agony of searching for Justin, of knowing that there was a really good chance that he would never see him again. 

“What about Coven?”

Brian briefly looked at Justin, meeting the pair of blue eyes before looking away.  He was getting a headache and the last thing he wanted right now was to talk about killing Brady Coven with Justin.  Even though Coven was wanted by the CIA, even though it had to be done, Brian hated every second of it. 

He raised his arm and reached back, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he finally said.  “When Lindsay told me…”  He paused for a second.  “I decided to tell you the truth.  After everything that happened I didn’t think…” He looked at Justin.  “I didn’t want you doing this.” 

But things were never that easy as saying the truth.  At least, not in their world. 

“But then things just started moving so fast.”  Brian leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. 

He felt Justin’s hand slide up his back, stopping on his left shoulder as the other came to a stop on top of his knee. 

“I’m sorry I punched you,” Justin whispered, moving closer.

Brian looked up at his lover, holding Justin’s gaze.  His eyes then drifted down to Justin’s jaw where a bruise was still visible – the remnants of their fight in the loft.  He ran his fingers along Justin’s jaw, gently tracing the edges of the bruise. 

“Me too,” he replied, pulling Justin closer.  “But I…”

Justin reached his hand to cover Brian’s mouth, stopping whatever else Brian was about to say from coming out.  “Enough talking,” he simply said.

Brian barely had any time to react as Justin’s mouth smashed against his.

~~~***~~~***~~~

 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed.  In fact, time didn’t exist for them right now - the two men lost in each other, the rest of the world forgotten.

It was sometime around noon that the two finally made their way to the bathroom to get cleaned up, only to get distracted once again.  Only when the water turned cold did they finally get out of the shower.

“Well, that was...interesting,” Justin commented.  He was in the process of drying himself with a towel while Brian, a white, cotton towel wrapped around his hips, worked on getting his hair to do what he wanted it to do – more specifically, not stick out in different directions as it tended to.

Brian glanced over at him, not being able to hold back a smile.  ‘Interesting’ was definitely a fitting word for what he was feeling at the moment.  Despite all that had happened and all that could happen to both of them, Brian found himself feeling incredibly worry-free.  There was also another word to describe what he was feeling – a word that he never thought could be used in relation to him.  Brian was happy.  Completely and utterly happy. 

He closed the distance between them, pressing Justin against the wall as his tongue slipped inside Justin’s mouth once again. 

“Brian?” Justin suddenly asked, pulling away slightly.  “What happens now?”

Brian stared back into the beauty that was Justin’s crystal-blue eyes, suddenly lost for an answer.  He knew what Justin was asking.  Unfortunately, even though he had managed to forget the reality of their situation, it still existed. 

He shrugged, leaning his forehead against Justin’s.  “I don’t know,” he admitted.  His mouth spread into a crooked smile.  “But I have a few ideas of what I would like to...”

He didn’t get to finish his thought.  There was a sound of the bullet hitting the window and then flying right next to their faces, hitting the wall.

“Fuck.”  Brian quickly ducked, covering Justin with his body as more bullets flew over them.

Leaving Justin crouched on the floor, Brian carefully made his way over to the window, making sure that he remained close to the floor and out of line of fire.  He was able to get a quick glimpse out of the window before another round of shots was fired. 

“Stockwell’s men,” Brian confirmed what both of them already knew.

“How many?” Justin asked.

“I don’t know.  At least four on this side.”

Justin nodded, both of them knowing what needed to be done.  “Is there another gun in the house?”  When Melanie came for him the night before, Justin wasn’t carrying.  That left them with only Brian’s gun, which in this situation would not be enough.

“There should be one in the closet,” Brian responded.

“Ok.”  First and foremost they had to get to the bedroom.  Then they’d take care of the little problem of being surrounded.

Justin ducked out of the bathroom, moving as fast as he could while doing his best not to get shot in the process.  He moved immediately over to the closet, searching for the gun.

“Check the boards in the corner,” Brian instructed while he checked to make sure that his gun was loaded.  He then quickly pulled his jeans on, realizing that he’d be a lot more mobile that way rather than wrapped in a towel.

Justin pulled apart the boards in the corner, revealing an opening, which held a gun and six magazines full of bullets.  He loaded his gun, then tossed three magazines to Brian.  While Brian checked the situation outside, Justin followed the other man’s suit and got dressed fairly quickly. 

“How many?” Justin asked when Brian turned to him. 

“Six on this side.  There’s probably more up front.”

“Ok,” Justin nodded, stuffing the extra bullets in pockets of his pants.  “I’ll take the front.”

Brian’s response was only a slight nod of his head.  He turned his attention to the window.  He used the curtains to wrap his arm in to break the window, quickly firing shots at the men surrounding the house.  He could already hear shots fired on the other side of the house as well, with Justin returning fire. 

Brian quickly took out the four men he could spot easily, then waited for the other ones.  But they either were waiting for him to make the wrong move or moved to the front of the house.  Either way, Brian couldn’t wait any longer. 

Carefully, as to not put himself in a direct line of fire, Brian moved into the living room where Justin was shooting the gun through the broken window. 

“How many?” Brian asked, taking a spot on the other side of the window.

“More than we thought,” came Justin’s response as he fired once again.

Brian looked around the room, trying to figure out a way out of it.  While they were doing a good job of keeping Stockwell’s men out of the house, they were trapped inside and getting low on bullets. 

“There’s gotta be a better way,” Justin said, turning to him.  They seemed to be on the same page about that. 

“Yeah, but what?”

Suddenly, Justin’s expression brightened.  “Cover me,” was all he said before he stood up and moved to the door.

“Justin,” Brian called after him, but Justin was already opening the door outside.  All Brian had left to do was make sure his lover didn’t get killed while doing whatever it was Justin was doing. 

Brian fired outside while Justin disappeared in the bushes in front of the house.  He heard a window breaking in the bathroom.  Quickly reacting, he turned and fired at the man rushing into the living room.  There was more fire coming from the outside and then Brian heard something surprising – shots fired from the roof. 

And then nothing.

Brian peeked into the window.  He saw at least five men sprawled on the ground, shot to death.  He waited another minute before wearily making his way outside.  The men were dead.

He walked down the driveway, trying to see if he could ID at least some of them, stopping over a body of one.

“You know him?”

Brian turned to Justin who was now standing behind him.  Brian nodded.  “Brad,” he said.  “Stockwell’s right arm.”

“Well,” Justin walked over to the other side of the dead man and picked up the gun lying next to the body.  “I hope he’s a lefty.”

Brian chuckled softly as the two looked around, taking in what had just happened.

“How the hell did they find us?” Justin asked.

That was the same question Brian had been wondering as well.  Just then he heard the phone ring. 

The two made their way into the house. 

Justin walked over to the body of the man Brian shot in the entrance to the bathroom.

“Gary.”

The blond looked up at Brian, inquiringly.  “You know him?”

Brian came up to stand next to him, staring down at the man on the floor.  “He’s CIA.”  He ran his hand through his hair and let out a loud sigh.

“Did you know Stockwell had a mole in the Agency?” Justin asked.

“No.”

Brian walked over to the chair where his jacket was laying and searched for his cell phone that had not stopped ringing.  Taking it out of his pocket, Brian answered the phone.

“What the fuck took you so long?” he heard on the other end of the line.

“We were kinda busy,” Brian replied.

He heard Melanie take in a deep breath, obviously misinterpreting what Brian meant by his comment.  “Well, you might want to fuck some other time,” the woman said.  “We intercepted a communication to Stockwell about your location.  They might be on their way now.”

Brian could only shake his head at that.  As always a minute too late.  “Yeah, we know.”

“What do you mean?”

“They came, they shot, they didn’t quite conquer,” Brian replied.  He could only snicker while the woman swore loudly on the other end of the phone. 

“Look, Lindsay’s on her way.  She left as soon as we found out.  Just sit tight and we’ll get you out of there,” she said after finally calming down.

Brian shook his head, even though she couldn’t see him.  “No.  We might be sitting ducks waiting here for more to come.  Call Lindsay and tell her to turn back.  We’ll head there as soon as we can get out of here.”

Brian didn’t give her a chance to object, hanging up and turning off the phone.  He then turned to Justin.

“We’re going in?” his lover asked.

“It’s the only safe place for us right now,” Brian answered.  “There’s probably more coming.  If not, they will soon.  And we don’t know if Stockwell’s got anybody else in the CIA.  We can’t risk it.”

Justin nodded.  There was no other way.

The two got ready fairly quickly.

“Here, take these.”  Brian handed Justin the keys when they walked into the garage.  “I’ll meet you there.”  He leaned in to give his lover a kiss.

Justin, though, pulled away.  “What are you talking about?  What do you mean, you’ll meet me there?”

“You take the car, I’ll take the bike,” Brian explained.

“I don’t think splitting up is a good idea right now,” Justin argued. 

“I think it’s a very good idea,” the brunet replied.  When he realized that he wouldn’t change Justin’s mind by giving orders, Brian tried another approach.  “Look, Stockwell only ordered me to kill you to test me.  He knows the truth now.  He’s after me, not you.”  His speech didn’t seem to have the intended effect.

“So, what?  You expect me to just run to safety while you take all the heat?”

“No, it’s not like that.  I just…”

“No, that’s exactly what you’re saying.”  Justin was visibly upset now.  “Well, I’m not going to run and hide, Brian.  We’re in this together.  We can take the car.  We’ll be in the Op Center in twenty minutes.  Stockwell can’t get to us there.”

Brian let out a loud sigh.  He needed to somehow convince Justin of doing what he had planned. 

“Justin, they’re probably already on their way now.”

“Exactly.  So, stop wasting time and get in the fucking car,” the blond shot back.

Brian took a step closer instead, holding Justin’s gaze.  “Justin,” he tried again, trying to stay calm.  “He’s after me now.  Him ordering me to kill you was just a test.  Now he knows that I betrayed him.  It’s me that he wants dead.  Not you.”

“All the more reason for me to go with you,” Justin argued.

“We’ll have a better chance if we split up.”

“No.”

“Justin.”

“No!”  Justin tried to move away from Brian, knowing that the brunet had already made up his mind.

Brian grabbed Justin’s arm, pulling the smaller man closer to him.  “It’ll be ok,” he said quietly.  “I’ll meet you at the Op Center in half an hour.” 

Justin didn’t seem to be convinced.

Brian used the tips of his fingers to raise Justin’s face to his, forcing the blond to meet his eyes.  “Trust me.”  He knew it was a preposterous idea to even ask Justin to consider trusting him after all the lying and betrayal that had marked their relationship up until that point.  But he had to try.  This was the only way.

Justin held his gaze for what seemed like forever before reaching out and placing his hand on the back of Brian’s neck.  In the next moment, Justin’s mouth was covering Brian’s. 

The brunet had to force himself to pull away, realizing that they didn’t have much time left.  He once again attempted putting the keys to the car in Justin’s hand.  This time it worked.  One more kiss and Brian stood to the side as the garage door opened and Justin pulled out onto the driveway. 

Brian made sure Justin drove away before he got on his bike and drove in the opposite direction, opting to take a different route as to not lead Stockwell’s goons to Justin. 

He was about five miles away from the house when he realized that he was being followed – two cars tailing him.  Brian did his best at trying to shake them off his tail, but the streets were too empty at this time of day and Brian was an easy target. 

Realizing that he would need more cover, Brian turned into a nearby park, hoping that the trees and tiny alleys would be helpful. 

The two cars followed him through the park, over the lawns and through the bushes and trees – the men shooting at Brian. 

Spotting a wooded area, Brian directed his bike toward it.  He could move easier through the trees while the other men would have to get out of the cars and follow him on foot.

Unfortunately, there was barely any room for Brian to move through either and he was forced to jump off his bike and take cover behind a large, oak tree.  Pulling out the gun, Brian prepared himself for the assault.

He didn’t have to wait long.  He saw the men that were chasing him move through the trees and bushes, firing at him.  He returned fire, while trying his best not to give the other men a chance to get him.  He could hear the bullets whiz by him.

Brian knew he had to find another way out of this, but for now he was biding his time, hoping for a break or a chance to get out of this alive.

That break came from the unlikely source.

“Brian?” he heard.

Turning around he saw Lindsay crawl toward him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he said quietly, as to not alert his pursuers to her presence.

“I was on my way to the house.  Saw you.  Thought you might need back up,” Lindsay explained, gun in hand.  “How many?”

Brian turned his attention in the directions the shots came from.  “Seven, maybe eight.”

“I’m sorry.  I had no idea about Gary,” she said, genuinely upset about the fact that she had put him and Justin in danger.

“Mind if we save the heartfelt apologies for later?”

“Where’s Justin?”

“On his way to the Base, hopefully.”  He didn’t even want to think about the possibility that Justin was fighting Stockwell’s men at the same time - alone.  Brian tried to shake off the concern he felt, focusing instead on the task at hand.  First, he had to get out of here alive, then he’d worry about Justin.

But any attempts to move from their hiding place was met by more gunfire.  The two were trapped.

Suddenly, Brian heard more shots, only those came from a different direction.  He peeked his head out just far enough to see what was suddenly causing Stockwell’s men to take their attention off him and Lindsay. 

He felt relief as well as frustration at seeing the blond head between evergreens.

“Stubborn twat,” he muttered as he took advantage of the window Justin gave him to finally come out of hiding and strike back.  With the three of them working at the same time from different directions, it took no time at all for them to take care of Stockwell’s men.

Making sure to stay close to the trees, Brian stepped out from his hiding place, followed closely by Lindsay.  The two inspected the bodies on the grass a few feet away.

“Well, that was fun,” Brian said sarcastically, as they now moved freely, making sure the other men were dead.

“Where’s Justin?” Lindsay asked suddenly.

Only then did Brian realize that Justin didn’t come out when they did.  He turned his attention to the spot where he last saw Justin.  But all he saw was evergreen trees.  Feeling the rising panic, Brian rushed to that spot.

Brian pushed away the branches as he pushed toward where he could now see his lover lying on the ground.

Before he even reached Justin he could hear Lindsay calling 911. 

Brian dropped down to his knees beside Justin – the blond lying on his side, clutching his stomach.

“Come on, let me see,” Brian said, trying to keep the panic from his voice as he gently rolled Justin on his back and pulled the man’s hands away. 

His breath caught in his throat at what he saw there – the front of Justin’s sweater and jacket were soaked in blood, and more was flowing from the wound. 

Brian quickly took his jacket off, using it to put pressure on Justin’s wound.

“Bri…an.”  Justin gasped for air.

Brian moved closer, making sure to keep eye contact with Justin at all times, his free hand brushing Justin’s hair away from his forehead.

“Hang in there,” Brian whispered, running his fingers through the strands of Justin’s hair.  “The ambulance will be here soon.”  He wasn’t sure who he was trying to keep calm, Justin or himself.  He turned to Lindsay who stood a couple of feet away.  “Where the fuck are they?!”

“They’re on their way,” came Lindsay’s response, but Brian’s attention was already back on his lover.

Justin’s eyes began to close as he continued to lose more blood.

“Hey, hey, hey!”  Brian took a hold of Justin’s chin, shaking him a little.  “Stay with me.  Justin, stay with me.  Come on, stay with me.”  He repeated it like a mantra, helplessly watching as Justin slowly slipped away from him.

Go to Part 20

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