Anything Goes - Part 8
Strong Enough
The loud music and hot air greeted Justin as soon as he set foot inside the crowded club. He wasn’t really in the mood for dancing tonight, but not having seen Brian for two days and needing to unwind after working non-stop on a project for school brought him to the only place where he could do both – see Brian and forget about school for a few hours.
He scanned the crowd, looking for the tall man. Brian wasn’t on the dance floor, so Justin decided to get a drink and wait for the man to show up. It was still early and Brian DID say he was going to be here tonight when they spoke earlier. Justin smiled when he noticed Ted, Emmett, Michael, and Ben standing by the bar, welcoming the company. But when he came up to them, Justin found himself being the object of awkward glances and pity smiles. Which could only mean one thing.
“Have you guys seen Brian?” he asked, testing his theory.
The looks passing between the four friends did not escape him for a second.
“He…well…I think…he was here…somewhere,” Michael stuttered, not looking him in the eye.
Justin nodded, wondering just how stupid they all thought he was. Did they really think he didn’t know? And it wasn’t like it was a secret or a prohibited thing. It went without saying that they both fucked around. “Do you know if he went home or is he still in the backroom?” He decided to just cut to the chase.
Michael opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “How do you…”
“Are you ok, baby?” Emmett asked with so much concern, it almost made Justin scream.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he said, shrugging off his friend’s hand on his shoulder.
“Well…I mean…you and Brian…”
“Have an arrangement,” Justin stated.
“I know, but…”
Justin took a deep breath in, pushing himself away from the bar. He was sick and tired of their sighs, sympathy, and pity looks, their encouraging pats on the back and constant butting in. “How many times do I have to tell you? I’m alright.” He wasn’t a stupid, naïve, lovesick kid anymore. He AND Brian were making it work. TOGETHER. “I’m getting out of here,” he threw over his shoulder and, ignoring his caring friends calling his name, headed toward the exit.
~~~***~~~***~~~
“Howdy, boys.” Brian threw his arms around Emmett and Michael’s shoulders. The blowjob that was meant to just help him kill time until Justin got done with his schoolwork and came out to play for a few hours wasn’t actually half bad. Now, he was ready to party with his golden boy all night.
But it appeared all was not right with the world, because both Emmett and Michael moved away from his touch, somber looks on their faces. He knew those looks all too well. It was the ‘Brian’s an asshole’ look he’d seen so many times in his life, he’d lost count. Except this time he had no idea what it was that he had done. “Okay, somebody wants to tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Michael responded, focusing his attention on the glass in his hands.
Brian waited, counting to ten. As if on cue, Michael turned to him. “I just can’t believe how stupid you can be. No, you know what? I can. I mean, who are you kidding? You have to fuck anything that moves, even if you ARE in a relationship. Even if Justin stands here waiting for you all night. ESPECIALLY if Justin’s waiting for you. Isn’t that right, Brian?”
Brian took a step back, staring at his best friend as if Michael had grown a second head, not sure where the fuck it all came from or which piece of the rant to focus on first. “Justin was here?” That seemed like the right one.
“Yes! He just left.”
“Why did he…” His voice trailed off, finally realizing what it was all about. Trying to keep his rising anger in check, he turned to his friend once again. “What the fuck did you say to him?” He knew that Justin wouldn’t just leave. His “friends” must have said something to the teen to upset him.
“We didn’t have to say anything. He figured it out on his own.”
Brian’s glare moved from one man to another, neither one of the four daring to look up at him. He was so fucking stunned, he couldn’t find the right words. An angry laugh spewed from his lips instead. With one last glance at his so-called friends, Brian headed outside.
~~~***~~~***~~~
“Hold on, dammit!” Brian yelled out as he hurried toward the door at the sound of another loud knock, while trying to pull his jeans over his still damp legs. He growled when the knocking resumed. “Fuck! I heard you the first ten…” his voice trailed off when, opening the door, he came face-to-face with his best friend. He stood in the doorway, eyeing the brunette while trying to decide whether to let Michael in.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Michael said.
Brian sighed, sliding the door open and letting the other man in. “Make it quick,” he said, looking in the direction of the bathroom. It was next to the impossible to think of a better morning treat than what was still waiting for him there and he would have liked nothing more then to get back to it.
“Well…I just…”
“Michael!” he did not have time or patience for Michael’s indecisiveness this morning.
“About last night…”
“What about it?” Brian turned around, heading to the kitchen. He might as well make some coffee while he was out here.
“I just wanted to…apologize.”
Ok, he did not expect that turn of events. He was sure he was going to get another one of his friend’s lectures on how to be the perfect boyfriend. He wasn’t one and he wasn’t trying to be one. It baffled him that after all the years of knowing him, those close to him still didn’t understand that.
He turned around once again, facing Michael. “Apologize?”
“Yes, for what I…”
“Hold on,” Brian held up his hand, smirking. This was good. Too good not to share with someone special. “Hey, Sunshine, get your ass over here,” he called out in the direction of the bathroom. He tried not to be too amused by his best friend’s wide eyes and panicked expression.
“Justin’s…here?”
“He doesn’t have any classes this morning. Where else would he be?” Brian replied nonchalantly.
“But I thought…”
Brian stifled a laugh, enjoying the puzzled look on Michael’s face. “What? That Justin ran home crying to his mommy because I got my dick sucked by some guy I didn’t even remember five minutes later?”
“But…”
“Justin!” Brian called out again.
“What?!” he finally heard as the young man showed up at the top of the stairs leading to the bedroom with only a towel wrapped loosely around his hips.
Brian swore silently at Michael for interrupting their morning ritual at the sight of his nearly naked and wet lover.
Justin finally seemed to notice Michael, walking down the steps. “Oh, hi, Michael,” he said, his smile fading. Turning once again to Brian, he asked, “What did you want?”
Brian pulled the teen closer to him, putting an arm around Justin’s shoulders. “Michael here wanted to say something to us. Go ahead, Michael.” He knew he was being cruel, but their “family members” had crossed the line and it was time to teach them a lesson.
“I just wanted…I’m sorry…about what happened last night…what I said…I’m sorry.”
The two of them stared at the brunette. Finally Justin shrugged. “Ok. Thanks.” Slipping out of Brian’s embrace, the teen turned to the coffeemaker. “You want some coffee?” he offered, making Brian bite back another laugh at how very ‘country-club wife’ his boyfriend sounded.
“No, I should go,” Michael shook his head.
“Ok. Bye, Mikey,” Brian said, turning his attention to the cup of coffee his lover put in front of him, expecting the other man to leave.
As soon as they heard the door close shut, the two men burst out laughing.
“Did you see his face?” Justin chuckled.
“Yeah, I’ve never seen Mikey so uncomfortable,” Brian added, pulling the boy into his arms once again, his tongue going to work as soon as it reached its intended destination…Justin’s mouth.
“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Justin asked, pulling away.
“Why? You have something in mind?” Brian was always open to suggestions on how to spend his evenings, as long as those suggestions included words like ‘fucking’ and ‘all night’.
“Actually, I’m going out with Caleb, Nick, Kevin, and Mark. You could come with us.”
Brian could not imagine any ‘fucking’ involved in THAT outing. And when he tried, his whole body shuddered. “Sounds very coupley,” he said, turning away from his boyfriend and instead focusing his attention on a steaming cup of coffee.
“It isn’t. It’s just friends hanging out. We never do that. I thought it might be fun.”
Brian snickered. “We do that ALL the time.”
“Yes. With YOUR friends.”
Brian sighed, wondering how he got pulled into this conversation again. “They’re your friends too.” He looked over his shoulder to where the blonde was currently dripping droplets of water on the floor, the sight of wet Justin making his dick rock hard. He wanted nothing more than to fling that gorgeous piece of ass and the man attached to him and carry him back to the shower to finish what Michael had so rudely interrupted. But he knew they needed to talk about this first.
“I know, but they’re…they’re more like family. Like older brothers,” Justin explained, standing so close to him, their shoulders were touching. “It’s nice having somebody I can talk to.”
“Somebody your own age,” Brian translated.
“Somebody…that I hadn’t acquired through you,” Justin corrected.
Brian nodded, not sure what to say. He never realized that it bothered Justin. Yes, he teased him on occasion about needing to get some friends of his own, but Justin knew he wasn’t serious. And never before had the teen said or given him any indication that he wasn’t happy about it. From the very beginning the young artist had entrenched himself in their lives, quickly becoming just another member, an important member of their little family. It just felt natural. Like he was always there.
“It’s not a big deal. We’ll just grab a bite to eat and maybe go dancing,” Justin continued when Brian didn’t say anything.
“Tonight’s not good for me,” Brian replied, avoiding looking at his lover. “I’ve got a late meeting.”
“Ok.”
He could hear the disappointment in Justin’s voice, but he wasn’t about to get guilt tripped into going on a double date with Justin’s new best friends.
“Maybe you can meet us at Babylon…AFTER your meeting.”
Wondering whether he should find a different excuse, Brian forced himself to look up. But instead of a frown, he was greeted by a smile and hope in a pair of the bright blue eyes. Well, relationships were all about compromise and he was going to Babylon tonight anyway. “Yeah. Whatever.” Nobody had ever said he was good at this.
But it seemed he said something right because suddenly Justin’s warm hands were running up and down his back. He had nearly given up on the idea of another fuck this morning, realizing that disappointing a lover wasn’t the best way to get in his pants. But Justin still had the ability to surprise him.
“I think there’s a shower with our names on it,” Justin whispered in his ear before walking off in the direction of the bathroom.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Even though Justin seemed to not be horribly upset, Brian found himself thinking about their earlier conversation throughout the whole day. That, as well as simply wanting to see Justin, brought the ad exec to the diner in the early afternoon.
Shedding his coat and slinging it over a stool, Brian sat down at the counter, casually searching for his favorite busboy.
“He’s in the back,” Debbie said, coming around the counter.
Instead of trying to pretend he had no idea who the woman was talking about, Brian flipped a cup in front of him, requesting coffee.
“So, do you want to tell me what the hell’s going on? Or should I just guess?” she asked, while pouring the hot substance.
Slowly raising his gaze up to hers, Brian arched his eyebrow, wondering what it was that he was being blamed for this time. “What’s going on?”
Debbie put the coffee pot down and stared at him, sternly. “I just don’t understand you, Brian.”
“Nobody does. It’s my curse,” he said, sly smile playing on his lips.
She, however, did not find the comment amusing, because the next thing Brian knew, Debbie’s hand was smacking the side of his head.
“Hey! What was that for?” he whined, rubbing the spot where the palm of her hand connected with his head.
“Trying to knock some sense into you, since talking obviously doesn’t work,” she replied. “You just got him back and already you’re trying to lose him again?”
Ahh. At least now he had some idea of what the crazy woman was talking about. Of course Michael ran to his mommy and rambled on about the events of the previous night, adding his own narrative touches to the story. “It’s not how it is,” he said, surprising himself with the fact that he was actually trying to defend himself to her, or anybody else for that matter.
“Oh, really? You fucking around again and it’s not how it is?”
He inhaled sharply, pushing away from the counter. “Drop it, Deb,” he said, a warning evident in his voice.
“I will not drop it. I have seen enough of sour faces around here and I want some happiness for my boys for once,” the waitress exclaimed, loud enough for everybody in the diner to turn their attention to the pair at the counter. Pointing her index finger, tipped with a long bright-orange painted nail that could serve as a weapon, at him, causing Brian to flinch, she continued. “Don’t fuck it up.”
“You know, I came here for lunch, NOT a fucking lecture,” he said, quickly standing up. Throwing a couple of bucks on the counter, he began to put his coat back on, pausing for a moment when his eyes settled on a blonde head coming in his direction.
“I thought you had a busy day today,” Justin said, greeting him with a smile.
“I do,” Brian replied quietly. Before the teen had a chance to kiss him, Brian took a step back, and throwing one last glance at the waitress standing on the other side of the counter, left with nothing more than a ‘later’ thrown at his lover over his shoulder.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Justin stood still, watching the black Jeep pull away from the curb, before turning around to look at Debbie. He had no clue what just happened here, but he knew that Debbie must have said something to Brian for the man to run out of here like that. “What did you say to him?”
The woman shrugged her shoulders, doing a piss pour job of faking ignorance. “Nothing.” Picking up a rag, she started slowly wiping the counter, avoiding the blue eyes trained on her.
“Debbie,” Justin pushed.
Finally, stopping what she was doing, the waitress looked up. “Sometimes Brian needs a kick in the head.”
He couldn’t believe she would say something like that. Besides Michael, she was the one who knew Brian the longest out of anybody in their family. “This is about last night, isn’t it?”
“Look, Sunshine, I know…”
“You don’t know ANYTHING!”
“Justin…”
He clenched his jaw, literally biting his tongue to keep from saying anything. This was none of their business. They had no right to say or know what was going on between Brian and him. That’s what the two of them agreed on. What happened between them was BETWEEN them. He wasn’t about to go screaming their secrets at the top of his lungs in the middle of the diner.
Leaning forward on the counter so that the Debbie was the only one able to hear him, he said quietly. “Brian never promised me he’d stop fucking around. Neither did I. That’s just how it is with us. If the rest of you have a problem with that…well…that’s just YOUR problem.”
Taking off his apron, he threw it on the counter and, quickly getting his jacket from behind the counter, left without another word or a glance in her direction.
~~~***~~~***~~~
He stayed at work later than he planned to, not sure who he was trying to avoid, Justin or the rest of the boys. Finally, after hours of trying to decide why Debbie’s words got to him like that, Brian headed home. He had no desire to go out tonight, for once, but he promised, or sort of promised, Justin that he’d meet him at Babylon, so, after a quick shower and getting dressed, Brian headed out.
Spotting the boys at their usual spot as soon as he was inside, he headed toward them, deciding that he might as well get that part of the evening over with before finding his boyfriend and taking the boy home for much needed play time.
Michael practically jumped out of his skin when he felt Brian’s arm around his shoulder. “Brian, hey, what are you doing here?”
Looking at his best friend, confused, Brian replied, “Buying groceries. What do you think?”
Michael squeezed out a nervous smile. “Well, I just…I thought you were working late tonight.”
“I was. And now I’m here.” He didn’t have the desire or time to contemplate on Michael’s strange behavior. He needed a drink and then he needed to find Justin. That was the plan. Except, Michael obviously didn’t know the plan, because instead of moving toward the bar, Brian found himself being pulled back by his friend. “Mikey, what the fuck did you take?” That was the only explanation for Michael’s weird behavior.
The man giggled. “Nothing. Just beer.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t spiked?” he asked before resuming the task of getting to the bar.
This time Michael didn’t stop him and right away he knew why they were all acting so strange. There, in the middle of the dance floor, was Justin, grinding against two men. Caleb and Nicholas.
“I’m sorry,” he heard behind him.
Turning around, he was greeted by three sets of eyes staring at him with pity. That must have been how Justin felt the night before. When he found the blonde leaning against the Jeep last night, waiting for him, Justin was furious. He didn’t go into detail, but the words ‘pity’ and ‘sorry’ were used a lot. Now he understood all too well why Justin was so wound up.
“They do look good together,” Ted said as all four of them, as well as the rest of the current inhabitants of the club, watched the trio move to the music.
“Who? Justin and Caleb or Justin and Nick?” Emmett asked.
“Both.”
Brian swallowed hard. All he wanted to do right now was turn around and get the hell out of this place. But that would be giving them exactly what they all wanted. And he wasn’t about to do that. Yes, he was pissed as hell at Justin for staging the show for everybody to see, but all his lover was guilty of was dancing with his two friends. Justin had no knowledge of what Brian knew or, at least, suspected. To him, Caleb and Nick were just some guys he met one night at the art show and became friends with. How could he know that Brian actually knew them both before? From something that he still wasn’t sure was real. Brian had no explanation for what he felt. And no matter how much he wanted to blame Justin for the twinge in the pit of his stomach, he knew he couldn’t.
Instead of storming out of the club, Brian moved through the crowd toward the three musketeers. Justin might look good with Caleb and Nick, but nobody looked as good with his lover as he did. Nobody. And it was time to prove that.
Pushing through a horde of sweaty bodies, Brian reached the center of the dance floor, immediately winding his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, spinning the teen around so they were now face to face.
He felt all the anger and jealousy slip away when he was greeted by one of the brightest smiles he’d ever seen.
“Hey,” Justin beamed at him.
“Hey,” Brian responded back, immediately covering the full lips of his lover with his own. He deepened the kiss as he slowly and with precise movements waltzed Justin away from his two friends.
Now it was his turn to show everybody how it was supposed to be done. He may not have been the best dancer in the place, but he knew how to turn on the heat. Which was exactly what he was doing now. Lowering down so that their faces were on the same level, he pulled Justin closer, their bodies rubbing against each other as he followed Justin’s movements to the loud beat.
Slipping his tongue out of the blonde’s mouth, he began exploring the teen’s neck and collarbone. He knew that all eyes were on them without even opening his eyes. There wasn’t a sight hotter than Justin, flushed and hard.
“I want you to fuck me,” Justin moaned in his ear as Brian sneaked his hands down the back of the teen’s pants.
Brian was more than happy to oblige, moving them quickly off the dance floor in the direction of the exit.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Even in the half-awake stage Justin knew that he was alone in bed. Winning the struggle to open his eyes, he looked around, trying to find the figure of his lover in the dark. Turning over, he saw the light coming from a lamp in the living room, relieved to find Brian sitting on the couch next to it.
Quickly gazing at the clock, Justin swung his legs off the bed and, wrapping the sheets around his body to shield from the cold draft, went in quest to find out why his boyfriend wasn’t in bed at 4:30 in the morning.
“What are you doing up?” he asked, stifling a yawn as he walked around the couch, partly relieved and partly surprised at the lack of a bottle or a glass of Jim Beam in Brian’s hand.
Raising his head, Brian gazed at him and for a fleeting moment Justin wished he hadn’t. It was obvious that Brian was upset and from the looks of things the man had been sitting there staring into nothingness and thinking for quite some time. Which, when it came to Brian, wasn’t such a good idea. Even though Brian often accused him of reading too much into things, the exec was the one who tended to overthink and overanalyze everything which in return made him run and hide.
But this time Justin knew what it was all about. Sitting down next to Brian, he asked the question that had been bothering him all day. “What did Debbie say to you?”
“Nothing that wasn’t true.”
Justin winced at the somberness in the man’s voice. Even though he didn’t know the details of Brian and Debbie’s conversation, he did have a pretty good idea what it involved. “You don’t believe that.”
Brian turned to him, studying Justin’s face for a moment, then looked away.
“Do you give a shit what they think?” Justin knew that throwing Brian’s words back at him wasn’t the smartest course of action, but he wasn’t sure what else to say.
“If they’re right, I do,” Brian responded, still avoiding looking at him.
“But they’re not. They don’t know us. They don’t know what happens between us,” Justin insisted, taken aback when his lover snickered at the comment.
Finally, the older man turned his face to Justin’s once again, this time holding his stare. “Between us? Look around. We’re in the same place we were before you left. Everything’s the same.”
Justin shook his head. “No, it’s not.” Brian began to move away, but Justin’s hand on his arm forced him to stay put. “It’s different this time, Brian.”
“Is it?”
“I know you want this to work as much as I do this time. Before…I…I just felt like I was the only one interested in this relationship. I felt alone and…”
“You decided to get yourself a playmate.”
The bitterness in Brian’s voice caught Justin off guard and the teen sat back, speechless. They hadn’t discussed any of this. Ethan and other reasons for their break up were forbidden subjects where the two of them were concerned. Brian liked to pretend that none of it happened, and Justin was more than happy to let him, since that way he didn’t have to feel guilty every time he looked at his lover. But now…in that one sentence he heard all the anger and the hurt he had caused Brian.
Justin swallowed hard. “You know that’s not what it was. What he was.” They stared at each other for a moment, neither one willing to back down.
Brian was the first one to look away. “Go to bed.”
Justin opened his mouth, ready to object. They were finally talking about it. But no sounds came out. He didn’t know what to say. He could apologize every day for the rest of his life and it wouldn’t make one bit of difference unless Brian let him in.
“Don’t let them do this to you, Brian,” Justin said, rising from the couch. “Please.”
When the man refused to knowledge his plea, Justin sighed, heading back to the bedroom.
He woke up the next morning to find that Brian had already left for work.
~~~***~~~***~~~
“Can I come in or are you still brooding?”
Justin looked up, seeing his roommate standing in the doorway. “Still brooding,” he replied. When Nick began to move away, he smiled. “Come in.”
Returning the smile, Nicholas walked in, slumping down on the bed next to him. “You know, eventually you’re going to have to come out and play. I mean, I’m sure staring at the wall is a very satisfying exercise, but…” He didn’t get a chance to finish because in the next moment he was being smashed with a pillow. “You did not just do that!” he laughed, picking up the soft object and throwing it back at Justin.
A few minutes later, both breathless and laughing, the two finally put away their square fluffy weapons and settled back down on the bed.
“Thanks. I needed that,” Justin said, smiling wide.
Nicholas sighed, getting back to the point he was trying to make before. “It’s going to be ok, you know.”
Justin shrugged, the smile that was plastered on his face only moments before long gone by now. “It’s just weird. From the very first moment I met him all Brian ever said was how I shouldn’t listen to anybody. ‘Fuck them’. ‘Your only obligation is to yourself’. Shit like that. And then he goes of and actually listens to some bullshit his friends spew at him. That’s just totally…”
“Fucked?”
“Yeah,” Justin nodded.
“It is. But it’s also hard not to let the people you care about get to you.”
Justin picked up the pillow, clutching it close to his chest as he trained his eyes on the opposite wall. “They shouldn’t say those things to him. They don’t know him. Not like I know him. Not even Michael. And they don’t know US.”
“Then why do you care?”
“I don’t.” Justin sighed. “But Brian does, no matter what he says.” And he had no idea how to prove to Brian that what the rest of the world thought or said didn’t matter. Because the two of them knew the truth.
“I’m sure he just needs time,” Nick said after a long silent pause. “To deal with all of it. You said it yourself, he WANTS to make it work this time.”
Justin’s gaze shifted on his friend.
“But just because he’s sulking, doesn’t mean you have to,” Nick added, getting up. “So, come on, get dressed.”
“Where are we going?” Justin watched wearily as the other man rummaged through his closet.
Nick turned around, giving him a playful look. “We’re having a boys’ night out. No boyfriends. No nothing. Just you, me, loud music, and lots and lots of booze.”
~~~***~~~***~~~
Brian cursed under his breath when he heard Michael call his name over the noise of the music. He pretended not to hear and started to make a beeline for the backroom. But realizing that the boys knew that he saw them, he knew he had to go over there, if only to not give them any more reasons to gossip about him and why he’d be avoiding them. Which was precisely what he wanted to do.
“You want a drink?” Michael asked as soon as Brian walked up to them.
“Sure. Whatever,” was his response as he scanned the crowd for a potential fuck. Having survived a shitty night and even a shittier day, all he wanted was a quick blowjob in the backroom before heading to bed. Alone for a change. He knew he should have probably called Justin, but the fact of the matter was, he was tired. Tired of all the drama and the angst. And calling Justin would be bringing it all back up because the teen letting it all go without a long conversation was not very likely.
“There’s Justin.”
Brian froze, fighting to retain the look of indifference on his face without lashing out at Ted for ruining his plan. Slowly, he turned around, staring in the direction his friend pointed out, his eyes immediately finding the blonde in the middle of the dance floor with Nicholas.
Instead of saying anything, Brian gulped down a shot of Jim Beam that Michael handed him just moments before, enjoying the burn from the alcohol trailing down, warming him inside. He put the glass down, signaling for another one.
“The boy can dance,” Emmett commented, watching Nick’s moves.
“The boy can do a lot of things, I’m sure,” Ted added.
“Guys, they’re just dancing,” Ben said, trying to be the voice of reason in the group.
“Oh, is that what they call it these days,” Ted replied, chuckling at his lame attempt at making a joke.
“They do seem awfully cozy together,” Emmett said, leaning closer to Brian, who stood motionless, watching his lover grind against another man.
“They’re just friends,” Michael decided to jump into the discussion.
When the bartender put his drink down, Brian downed it in one gulp, hoping that the liquid would moisten his dry mouth.
“Who live together. Who DANCE together,” Ted motioned at the dance floor. “Who knows what ELSE they do together.”
Brian’s head shot up, staring at his friends in disbelief. They had said a lot of shitty things before. About him. About Justin. About him AND Justin. Mostly the comments were meant to be jokes and he let them slide. But this was going overboard. Even for somebody as dick-deprived and miserable as Ted.
“Shut the fuck up, Ted,” he growled, slamming the glass in his hand on the bar. “Who the fuck do you think you are?!” The other man, along with the rest of the gang, stared at Brian like he had grown another head. “You think you know? You don't have the slightest idea in your puny little mind. You see the drugs and the tricks and the rest of this shit and you think you have the right to judge us? You and your holier than thou ideals, reading your lame ass books and watching your fairy tale shows with queers who have no balls and no dicks. Just like you. You think you know what goes on between us? What happens when the doors are locked and the lights are turned off? You have no fucking idea who we are. NONE. And that's what really bothers you. You built this idea in your fucking head about me and Justin and now you find out that it's all a lie and your miserable life is turned upside down. And the only way to make it right is for me to do what I do best which is fuck up. Isn't it right, Ted? All of you would be more than happy to see me fuck up. Because then all would be right with the world. And your sad pathetic little lives would actually make sense."
“Brian,” Michael reached for his friend’s hand, but Brian shrugged him off.
“Don’t. Just don’t,” he barked. “You all need to stop waiting for us to fuck up and get lives of your own.”
He hated it. Hated that these people who supposedly knew him, had no idea who he really was. Hated how jealous he got just watching Justin dance with Nick. But more than anything he hated that he allowed them to get to him so badly that somehow he ended up opening up to them. Something he swore he’d never do. He felt the walls closing in on him and the only thing he could think about was getting out of this place.
But, as soon as he turned around, he came face to face with a wide-eyed, stunned Justin staring back at him. He knew he had a choice. He could give into his insecurities and fears and walk out of here alone or he could, for once, trust Justin.
“You want to get out of here?” Justin asked.
And in the intense look of the blue eyes staring back at him, Brian had his answer. Crossing the distance between them, he covered his lover’s lips. “Yes,” he replied in a low, hoarse voice after breaking the kiss.
Shooting one last glance at their astounded friends, the couple made their way outside.
God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?
Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?
Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It's try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow
Go to Part 9