Ritual Cat

When the spiritual teacher and his disciples began their evening meditation, the cat who lived in the monastery made such noise that it distracted them. So the teacher ordered that the cat be tied up during the evening practice. Years later, when the teacher died, the cat continued to be tied up during the meditation session. And when the cat eventually died, another cat was brought to the monastery and tied up. Centuries later, learned descendants of the spiritual teacher wrote scholarly treatises about the religious significance of tying up a cat for meditation practice.

Doctor

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Bumper Snickers..................

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If Progress Means To Move Forward What Does Congress Mean?

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

Politics - From The Words "Poly," Meaning "Many," And "Ticks," As In
"Small, Bloodsucking Parasites"

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

He Who Dies With The Most Toys... Still Dies

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

Dyslexics Of The World - Untie!

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

And Finally...

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

PROFESSOR

Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before!
As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach.
He picked the roach and put it in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg.
He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach could not!
Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".

100 Camels

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting
outside
a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An
Arab
salesman approached them carrying belts.
After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked
where they were from.

"America," the husband replied.

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded.
"She's not from the States."

"Yes I am." said the wife.

He looked at her and asked, "Is he your husband?"

"Yes." she replied.

Turning to the husband, he offered.... "I'll give you 100
camels
for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long
silence. Finally he replied, "she's not for sale."

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her
husband what took him so long to answer, to which the
husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100
camels back home."

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