1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2 . "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

4. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

5. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

6. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

7. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

8. "The coffee machine is broken..."

9. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the best excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.

10. " ...... AMEN!"

One young man went for an Interview

>>"When did Nepal get democracy?" He was asked.
>>"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 2007 B.S." He replied.
>>"Who was responsible for our Democracy?"
>>"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
>>"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
>>"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
>>The interview board was very pleased with his original and
thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Candidate would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
>>Then it was the turn of this candidate. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him. "By the way, what is your date of birth?" He replied,
>>"The effort began a few years earlier and final result came in 2007 B.S"
>>Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
>>"What is your fathers name?"
>>He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one it will be injustice to another".
>>The interviewer was incensed. "Hey! are you mad or what?"
>>He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."

Computer Love

…. Dear
You have ENTERED into my heart. It has become difficult to SHIFT my thoughts elsewhere. I am unable to CONTROL my feelings for you. I just can’t DELETE you from my hearts SCREEN. I would never want to ESCAPE from loving you.
This is all so beautiful only you can HELP me. I don’t want it to END. I want a HOME In your heart. SAVE this information forever.

I love you
Affectionately
PENTIUM 4

Fed up of people

The year is made up of 365 days. Each day has 24 hours. 12 of which are night- time hours, adding up to a total of 182 days. That leaves you 183 days to work. Minus 52 Saturday which leaves 131 days to work. Minus 26 Friday (half Friday a week) which leaves you 105 days to work. But then there are 4 hours set aside for eating which adds up to 60 days. That leaves you 45 days to work. One hour a day you spend in.
gossips and all, which add up to 15 days, that leaves 30day to work. You are entitled 24 days for puja holidays and various leaves through out the year. Which means you have six day left aside to work. Minus five days you usually take off due to illness or some other unavoidable reason. That leaves you one day to work, which happens to be Labor Day, a holiday So…, Why are you tired?

Engineering....the untold truth....

1.. Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for
getting good High School marks.

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some
payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the
canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to
the canteen.

Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come
nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures : Waste of time..physical presence is a
must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignemtns & genral TP

Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough
time....

Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernac Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who
comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me
our journal."
"You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls
do your experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of
lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no
girls in your group (simply look blankly at each other, fiddle
with the equipment, and finally copy the readings. from the girls of
course...).

2. The Truth about exams....

Timing...when ur non enginering GF/BF is free to enjoy
while u slog with submisisons & exams

Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and
you flunk.

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted
worth in the exam...

Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.

3. An engineer's 10 engg commandments opf Life:

1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning
of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the
canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being
present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four lettered word.

4. The Years of Engineering

F.E.(First Year) Fond of Engineering
S.E.(Second Year) Sick of Engineering
T.E.(Third Year) Tired of Engineering
F.E.(Final Year) Frustrated with Engineering Finally
B.E.(Bachelor of Engg) Balls to Engineering

Was it worth it???

Continue with other Jokes & Humor 2>>