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the trunks briefs affair

Teen Goten and GT Pan

[Goten] Whoah! Who's the hot chic, M?

*I give Goten a long, hard look... which he promptly misinterprets as jealousy, because he IS that stupid*

[G] *nervous laugh* BESIDES you, of course.

[Sailor M] That's Pan you baka!

[G] *scratches head* Um, no, I'm pretty sure Pan is much smaller. And sort of younger. I'd notice if I had a hot teenage cousin.

[SM] EEEWW.

[G] Well I would!

[SM] That's Pan from the future, you dumbass.

*Pan saunters casually up*

[Pan] Hi Goten!

[G] Hey, wow, so you're a Mirai Pan?

[P] Technically, GT, not Mirai.

[G] Wow, you know, you're like, young here. Who'd have thought you'd turn into such a babe!

[SM] *chanells Buffy* Raise your hand if EEW?

[P] *laughs, because she knows what Goten is like* So what's this about Trunks?

[SM] *very thankful to have my mind steared AWAY from icky implications* Oh, yes. Um. You guys are both close to Trunks, what's our take on his perpetual bachellorhood?

[G] *sweatdrop*

[SM] The no girlfriend thing, Goten.

[P] Oh he's gay. No question about it.

[SM] You seem pretty sure of that, Pan. Why are you so certain?

[P] Let me put it to you this way: several months alone with me (and Grandpa, but he didn't count, cause he was too young) in a spaceship. And he didn't lay a hand on me ONCE. I'd say that qualifies as proof.

[SM] Maybe he was being a gentleman. *slightly catty tone* Or maybe he wasn't interested in jailbait.

(Hey, I couldn't help it! It's TRUNKS we're talking about!)

[P] I still say I'm irrisistable. Plus, there was the dancing. You know how we were forced to dance disco? Well, I think he liked it all a little too much. And then after, I kept hearing the Village People and stuff.

[SM] Ok. What about you, Goten?

[G] I'm not gay.

[SM] I mean, what do you think about all this?

[G] Well, I'm a little hurt. Trunks should know I wouldn't care he's gay. Pan shouldn't have to come all the way from the future to tell me.

[SM] No, it's not a fact, I mean, what do you think--

[G] Of course, I understand why he didn't tell me.

[SM] Come again? What--why?

[G] Well, because he's secretly in love with me, of course.

[SM] Trunks is?

[G] Yup.

[SM] Um, well, um, if Pan here hadn't said all that stuff, would you have thought of any of this stuff?

[G] No way! Trunks has chicks crawling all over him EVERY time we go out.

[P] *in a tone suspiciously close to jealousy, for one who is sure Trunks is gay* He does?

[G] He's a total chick magnet. One time these chicks sent a bra to him at a club. He got redder than a tomato!! See, he's really shy around girls, on account of them sexually harrasing him since he hit puberty. Of course, now that I know he's in love with me, it puts a whole new spin on things.

[SM] Yes, okay, but does he ever talk to you about girls, Goten?

[G] Sure he does. He's always telling me not to treat them like objects. Or how he wishes they wouldn't treat HIM like an object.

[SM] But has he ever talked to you about liking a girl?

[G] Oh. Well, yeah. There was Rei. Se was a real hottie. Her friend Minako was a hottie too. We met them at a dance at Rei's school. And Minako and I snuck under the bleachers and--

[SM] Okay, we get it, Goten. What about Rei?

[G] She didn't come. But that would have RULED!

[SM and P] *sweatdrops*

[G] But you know she wouldn't have. She's a real ice princess. Poor Trunks.

[SM] So he liked her?

[G] Sure did! He was nuts about her. He must have called her, like, a LOT of times. But she was always blowing him off. Said she was busy fighting the Deathbusters or the Dead Moon Circus and other stuff like that. She could have just said she had to wash her hair or something. Vegeta got so pissed off when he found out Trunks was moping after a girl. He said he was going to cut his allowance until Trunks got the balls to blow up her Grandpa's temple to prove he was over her.

[P] *very interested* Did he?

[G] Naw, he's too much of a good guy to do that. And then Bulma found out about it and told Vegeta that if he didn't quit trying to turn Trunks into a sadistic ass, she'd get rid of the gravity room AND make him get a job, so that was the end of that.

*Pan falls over laughing*

[SM] Any other girl?

[G] Well, there was Michiru. I have to say, Trunks has great taste chicks (probably comes from being gay)--

*Pan and I exchange long looks but decide to just not go there*

[G]--cause like, Michiru was REAL pretty AND she was a lesbian. But Trunks got really upset about her being a lesbian. Said he was going to stay away from all girls for awhile--HEY!!! You think that's when he turned gay?

[SM] People don't TURN gay, Goten.

[G] But, you know, it fits!

[SM] Okay Goten. Whatever. Thank you both for you time.

[P] We're done?

[SM] Yes. I can feel Goten's conversation sucking away my IQ.

[G] Cool, ok, hey, Pan, Trunks and I were going to go out tonight, you wanna come along?

[P] Sure! Great! You guys NEVER let me come in GT time! *gets a devilish look on her face* Hey, I got an idea, to find out if he's really in love with you. We won't tell him who I am, and I'll try to seduce him, and if he doesn't go for it, we'll know he's gay!

[SM] Didn't you say that Trunks doesn't seem interested in you in your time?

[P] Didn't YOU say it's cause I'm underage? Now we're BOTH underage!

[G] Pan you're a genius! Okay, you're on!

*Pan and Goten high five each other*

[SM] Oh yeah. I'm sure THIS will lead to all sorts of good things.

 

lots more interviews still to come!

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