In the Spring

AUTHOR: Magic Weed
EMAIL: magicweed@mindspring.com
FEEDBACK: Yes, please!
SUMMARY: Alternate universe starting after Destiny in Ats5, through the
spring.  Something good finally happens to Spike and he doesn't know how
to act.  Buffy becomes human again and gets what she deserves.  Angel
broods, Fred washes her face, Knox plays with a microscope, and Spike
plays with himself.
SPOILERS: Through Ats5 Destiny
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon, et. al, are the owners. I'm just borrowing the
characters for a bit.
NOTES: A huge thank you to my betas, especially KimberlyFDR, for helping
me to see the obvious (in retrospect) so that I could fix it!


I.  Early Winter

Spike reached the arched end of the breezeway and looked out from the
shadows.  A mosaic lizard was sunning itself in the square, taunting him.
  "Damned lizards," he thought, "they always do that."  He had caught
her scent again.  It was closer than ever, but he could go no further.

Spike had been searching for her for weeks, ever since he left LA. 
Angel had information about where she was, or at least how to contact
Giles and get word to her, but he wasn't sharing.  Spike couldn't get
that voice out of his head.  "Leave her alone, Spike", "Let her get on
with her life, Spike", "She's not the Slayer now, she doesn't need you
anymore" - that last one hurt, not least of all because it was probably
true.  Still, he had to go.  He had been almost this close once before,
missing her by just a few hours in a small French village.  The smell of
her lingered in the air, and he followed it all over town, to every
place she had been.  He checked into the hotel she had just left, and
was able to get her same room.  Lying awake in the bed she had been in,
he relived their last night together in his mind while her essence
surrounded him.  She was so close that he was starting to be afraid. 
Dreams were so much safer than reality.

Now she was even closer.  It was a warm and beautiful December day in
Barcelona, and Spike was trapped in the shadows, looking out on a plaza
filled with blue tiles mirroring the color of the cloudless sky.  The
wind seemed to be carrying her scent from every direction.  Suddenly, he
saw her, his golden goddess.  Her hair was gleaming in the sun, but her
skin seemed to be glowing from the inside.  She was sitting at a cafe
table with an attractive young man with olive skin and curly, brown hair.
  The man was squeezing Buffy's hand on the table top, smiling.  They
both looked very happy.  Spike hated him.  Buffy kept looking down and
had her hand on her stomach; something about her looked off, but the
table was blocking his view.  By staying under the archways and store
front awnings surrounding the plaza, Spike was able to move around to
see Buffy from different angles.  Slowly her abdomen came into view, and
he saw that she was very clearly pregnant.  She kept running her hand
up and down gently, stroking her swollen stomach like a pet cat. He had
never seen her look so content. 

For a moment, Spike was incredibly happy, for her.  Then the euphoria
passed, and his heart broke.  Angel was right, she didn't need him. 
Angelus would have a grand old time with this, telling him what kind of
fool he was for ever expecting anything from her.  He could almost hear
Angelus' voice mocking him: "Judging by the size of her belly, she got
over you in a hurry."  A new life was growing inside her.  Two
heartbeats.  He didn't even have one.  He realized that he should have
asked the demon in Africa for more - the whole Shanshu package.  He had
a soul, but that wasn't nearly enough. 

When she and her companion walked off across the sunny plaza, he thought
briefly about going back to Africa, then turned and headed back to LA.

.......

Spike burst through Angel's office door as Angel and Wesley sat talking.

"You're back?" they both exclaimed at once.

Spike strode across the floor.  "Yeah, mission accomplished, I found her.
  Did you know she was expecting?"

"Expecting what?"  Angel asked.

Wesley and Spike both looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Oh.  What???  Are you sure?"  Angel demanded.

"Scout's honor," Spike replied with a smirk.  "She's got some
Mediterranean heartthrob type mooning over her."

"Cookie dough, huh?" Angel muttered to himself.

"How is she?"  Wesley inquired.

"I've never seen her look better."  Spike plopped into a chair and
continued with a gleam in his eye.  "I'd almost forgotten what she used
to look like ...  before Acathla, before Joyce died," he looked down and
lowered his voice, "before Glory."  He paused, then said, "Being the
Slayer is all about death."

Wesley jumped in: "Being the Slayer is about protecting life.  It's
about being the guardian of all that's good in the world."

"Then why don't they call them Guardians, or Protectors?  Because they
don't just stand around waiting for evil to come, they seek it out. 
They hunt.  They become ..."

Wesley interrupted: "You can save more people by eliminating the risks
before they have a chance to strike."  Wesley was dead serious.  Angel
stared at him, unnoticed.

"But that's just it,"  Spike continued,  "who's a risk, and who isn't,
and who gets the benefit of the doubt?  Who 'r you gonna sacrifice, and
who 'r you gonna save?  Havin' to make decisions like that day in and
day out, it does things to you."  Spike suddenly remembered Wesley
shooting his father, and added: "You know that."  Wesley averted his
eyes.  "It was killing her, sucking her down into the darkness.  For a
while I thought that was where she belonged."  He shook his head and
laughed at how wrong he was.  "But that part's over.  Now she's out
there basking in the sun, creating life instead of destroyin' it.  She
actually has a shot at living long enough to see her child grown." 

There was a long silence.  Angel looked at Spike's boots on his coffee
table and said coldly, "Why are you here?"

"I got nothing better to do, so I decided to come back and help your lot
fight the big evil."

Wesley broke the silence that followed: "We could use your assistance, I
suppose."

"Am I still in charge here?" Angel asked petulantly.

Wesley replied softly, but firmly; "Sorry, but you know I'm right."  He
and Angel looked at each other for a long moment before Angel's face
finally softened.

"Fine," Angel said.  "Get him an office as far away from mine as
possible."

"Suits me,"  Spike said, without making any move to go.  He appeared
lost in thought for a moment.

Angel finally said: "You did the right thing."

Spike smiled a bit and said, "I guess we still need to find out who that
Shanshu nonsense applies to.  Who knows, maybe I'll have kids of my own
some day."  He grinned at Angel with mock confidence, not believing a
word of it.

"That's what the world needs, Spike, more of you," Angel said
sarcastically.

"I've often thought so."


...........

Buffy called Angel not long after that to tell him that she was having a
baby.  "I heard," he said warmly.  "I was wondering if you were ever
going to tell me yourself." 

"Who told you?  I wanted to tell you first!" 

"I have my sources."

"What sources?"

"Not gonna tell," Angel said solidly.

Buffy knew she could never drag it out of him.  She would have to find
out herself.

"So, you know about the father?" she asked hesitantly.

"A little bit." 

Buffy knew that Angel always knew more than he admitted to.  "And you're
not upset?"

"No.  I mean, I didn't really expect you to wait around forever for me
or anything."  The casual tone of Angel's voice didn't match the hurt
look in his eyes.  "So, I guess those cookies are done, huh?"

"Got one in the oven!"  Not even a chuckle out of Angel.  She hated
talking to him on the phone.  He hardly said anything, and she couldn't
even see him smirk.  She continued, trying to be serious. 
"Actually, I wasn't finished preheating yet, or... it wasn't exactly
planned.  I wouldn't have said I was ready, but when I found out, it
just seemed so right.  I guess the two of us will just have to finish
baking together."

"It's a big responsibility, you know."

"Not compared to saving the world, or dying to save the world."

"You'd be surprised," he responded cryptically.

"Whatever that meant," Buffy thought.  With sudden enthusiasm, she said,
"Guess what? I haven't killed anything since May!"

.....................................................