Author’s Note: Tomorrow evening I will have finished the next part of W-D-I-H-T-F-T-W and will have the
next part of New Faces, Old Problems emailed to my beta reader. But I’ve had tons of work to do this week,
and I’m still not finished!

Anyway this is a fic that accompanies ‘If Leaving Me Is So Easy…’ but isn’t by Phil Collins.

I was thinking about a companion to it a couple of days ago, but I couldn’t find a song. It’s a Hermione POV
and it’s basically, her talking about her relationship with that oh so special someone from ‘If Leaving Me Is So
Easy’. I finally found a song by U2 from the album I brought yesterday. Its name is same as the title of the fic.

I hope you enjoy it!

If Leaving Me Is So Easy

by Inspiring Author
 
 

Chapter 2
Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
 

Hermione smiled as she woke up looking at her husband, Harry Potter. She had done this
since their marriage when they were nineteen.

She remembered her wedding day perfectly. The cake, the dress, the guests, everything had
been perfect apart from one little thing…

Sighing, she got out of bed, pulling her robe from the nearby chair. She wrapped it around
herself tightly, trying to keep out of the cold.

She walked slowly out of the room, ready to start another day. She first checked on her and
Harry’s son, Wat, named after the leader of the Peasant’s Revolt. Of course, it was Harry’s
idea. They had been looking through history books due to her insistence and it had apparently
jumped out at him.

Wat was two now, and he had already developed his father’s sense of humour. The day before
he had picked up a frog and taken him inside. Unfortunately, he had dropped it and Hermione
had spent almost two hours trying to catch it. She hadn’t wanted to harm it with magic or cause
it to panic, so she had done it the Muggle way. She had had to scold Wat angrily for that, before
breaking down and laughing cheerfully.

She went downstairs and through to the kitchen to check the calendar. Her heart seemed to
stop when she realised what day it what. It was his birthday today, the 28th August, a day she
had normally celebrated fully, but not since, she was eighteen.

Of course she still sent him cards, but he never bother to get in touch to say thank you. She
didn’t blame him for not talking to her, after what she had done to him, but she just wished she
could explain to him her reasons. She wanted to tell him she loved him.

Checking the box where the owls deposited the mail every morning, she gave a cry as she
discovered the pink card she had sent away yesterday, along with a tiny blue envelope that
had his sweet cologne all over it.

Sitting down heavily she held her head in her hands, trying to get over the fact he had returned
the only thing that kept her love for him alive;
 

I’m not afraid of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find a decent melody
A song I can sing in my own company
 

I couldn’t believe he had sent my card back, after I had looked forward to writing it for two
whole weeks. It had taken me two weeks to pick up the pen to write in it.

I could’ve taken anything from him, him shouting at me about how hurt he was that I had
deserted. I could take him cursing me with Cruciatus until I screamed and begged for mercy.
I could even take him turning up and begging me to take him back, but just looking at the
unopened envelope made me ache. I couldn’t take him accepting it was over, because I
couldn’t accept it.

All the years since I last saw him, when he was looking at me with his melancholy eyes when
I told him I was marrying Harry, I had always regretted not going back to him and telling him,
I loved him and always would. But I struggled on, finding my way with Harry and now my son,
trying to find a place for me.

I wanted a place I could call mine, a house or a flat that was mine and mine alone. And when
I had found it, I wished it were he by my side instead of Harry.
 

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, Look at you
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
These tears are going to get you nowhere, baby
 

I never forgot our last conversation when he had told me that he didn’t mean to act like an idiot.
He had honestly thought I had left him for that. He wasn’t a fool; he was the most intelligent man
I have ever met.

I wanted to say how much I cared, but I kept myself strong, trying to keep him safe from me. I
told him I never thought that, but I thought he was a mess. It was the truth, he had stopped eating
and dressing properly, and he looked as thought he hadn’t slept in a fortnight. So, I told him to
get over me and move on with his own life. I asked him to forget him me, and now he had. I told
him that crying for what had been was a waste and he wasn’t to do it, and now he had finally
managed to do it.
 

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment and now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
 

I had seen him partly afterwards, walking down the street, staring aimlessly at the cracks in the
pavement. I had wanted to go to him and tell him to stop tormenting himself and me, but I was
with Harry, so I relented and just watched him pass without noticing me.

To tell the truth I was a mess then too, and I partly still was. A mess of emotions is all I am,
trying to figure out whether I love Harry and want to spend the rest of my life with him or whether
I’m deluding myself and really want my forgotten love.

I’m stuck, and I can’t decide. I know he’s married now with a child of his own. How I want to
be his wife and hold our child as he hugs us tightly. But I’m stuck in the past and I know it will
never happen now.

I remember back to the days when he told me we would grow up later, and we would just be
together now, living for each passing moment. But now later had come and I was still trying to
grow up and get over him. I don’t think I ever will…well, not yet.
 

I will not forsake, the colours that you bring
But the nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I still listen through your ears, and through your eyes I can see
 

I remember promises of long ago I had made him long ago, promises of a forever love no
matter what, but I had kept it. I still loved him, even if it was secretly.

But we were young and foolish and our love soon became an obsession for him, consuming
everything, he touched and loved. I had felt strangled in our relationship, both of us struggling
to stay on top, both wanting the other possessively. It got to the point where it fizzled out
and left us alone with our own thoughts.

And my thoughts were how much I would’ve hurt him if we had stayed together. We’d end
up fighting, every petty jealously brought to light. We both wanted each other so badly it got
difficult to part, and that isn’t love, not to me.

Deep down though I held a torch for him, longing for him to smile at me and whisper sweet
nothings in my ear. But I knew we would end right back at infatuation, and this time we
wouldn’t be able to part.

But I still think of myself as his and him as mine. I’m even feeling guilty at sleeping with Harry,
and jealous at him sleeping with his own wife.
 

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it’s tough, and you can never get enough
Of what you don’t need now…my oh my
 

My brain tells me off, telling me to stop worrying about what might have been and what was
past and look towards the future with my handsome husband and my beautiful baby boy.

But I was finding it difficult to carry on, thinking about him and his lean body, longing to run
my fingers who his silky soft silver hair.

But I knew I was being in practical and us being together was unhealthy. We would end up
killing each other by trying to love each other.

And my brain keeps saying:
 

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment and now you can’t get out of it
Oh love look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment and now you can’t get out of it
 

It’s easy to say but I just can’t move on from the past remembering the sweetness and
warmth he held for me alone.
 

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm until you discover how deep…
I wasn’t jumping…for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all
 

When I was younger, I had dreamt about us, pledging we’d never leave each other by the
Hogwarts lake, and when I looked at his eyes, I just saw cruelty and with I start I realised
he had become his father and he had pushed me into the water, laughing bitterly.

I felt like I was falling for miles, just seeing his face in front of me, laughing at my terror, before
I turned over and saw the blackness that was creeping towards me. I knew what that blackness
contained, loneliness and heartache. It was life without him, but when I tried to turn back to his
face, I just saw a deep blue and I also had a feeling it was filled with suffering and pain, and
with a jolt I realised it was life with him.

I had woken up in such a fright, but with a sense on conscience. I knew I had to leave him and
walk into the blackness, to save his soul from anguish.
 

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass
 

So I had left him, and now the nights are so very long since he did have his arms around me, his
slight breathing tickling the back of my neck. Harry wasn’t the same no matter how hard I tried
to wish it was.

And the days didn’t last long enough for me to sit and reminisce, trying to get up enough courage
to go and see him and claim him back. And they end with me back in bed, wishing to have him
next to me.

And I want to tell him that we’ll be together no matter what in our own fantasy dream, just loving
each other. That we’d go through life together sorting out every difficultly.
 

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass
 

And I dream of him lying awake, thinking of me, wishing we were together. But I knew he was
probably sleeping peacefully, his arm slung over his wife possessively, slowly tickling her neck
with his sweet breath.

And I longed for the day to come where he would turn up at my door and sweep me up into a
kiss that would reconcile us, but I knew he was probably working hard, before going home to
kiss his wife good evening and playing with his tiny child.

I wanted his to come to me and tell me he’d be there if my way got hard, keeping my spirits up
along the cruel path life takes us, knowing he was right by my side until eternity. But I knew he
was pledging to another, leading her though life, oblivious to me calling to him to come back…

Hermione sighed as the last of her tears fell away, and she managed to pull up enough strength to
open his letter. She opened it shakily, dreading what it might say.

It read:
 

Dear Hermione,

How are you? I know that sounds stupid but I’m curious to know if you and Potter are all right.

Now the real reason I write you this letter.

I’ve tried for many years to try to figure out why you left me, and I came to the conclusion that
we are just too different for it to ever work. You realised this and I didn’t and I’m truly sorry if
I hurt you in anyway. I never meant to, I just loved you blindly while you thought with your head.

I’ve finally given myself enough strength to say goodbye to you, but I want to reassure you that
us being together was the happiest memories in my life. I still look over the letters and photos
you’ve given me and I’ll never truly stop loving you.

Please if you read this, know I care deeply and it’s finally come for me to move on to the future
with my beautiful wife and our daughter, who I named Hermione after you. I honour you with
this tribute.

Know how much I care and use it to move on, and have a good future with Potter and your own
child. I heard you had a boy. Congratulations! You truly deserve to be happy my love, even if it’s
not with me.
 

Love you forever
Draco x
 

P.S. I returned the card you sent me because I want to give you a chance and us keeping up
sending each other cards will never let you move on. Know I love you.

Draco.
 

Hermione smiled softly at the letter. He still loves me, she thought, hugging the letter close.

She finally got up, still staring at the letter.

After two minutes of rereading, she crumbled it with her hand, swearing that she would try
to move on. For Draco…
 
 
 

Author’s Note: Again mushiness! I was going for tough chick mode, but alas, it did not work. Ah, well…bygones.

The song didn’t quite go ad some bits are fiddly. I kind of change from him to her a bit in this. And I used him instead
of Draco all the way through so people who didn’t read the first one had a touch of mystery. Sorry for all those who
found it confusing.

Anyway, I’ve got to go and be merry because it’s November, and it’s not long until Christmas! My favourite holiday!

Bye!

I.A.

P.S. Sorry for the grammar mistakes.
 

Back to Chapter 1
Chapter 3