Rating: NC-17 for Darco slash
Summary: The relationship of Marco and Dylan as seen through Dylan's eyes.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I wish I did. They're yummy.
A/N: These two have inspired the slash monkies of olden times- of Buffy times. Let me know if you like it.

Dedication: Thank you SO much to luvluv for all your help with sparking my muses and your awesome feedback!!!

1

I'd never seen such beautiful skin until I laid eyes on Marco Del Rossi. Sure I'd been with guys- a few guys- had boyfriends. But I'd never seen such perfection until I saw him walking up to the car to go to the beach.

At that moment? I felt like I could never be luckier than to spend the day watching him.

But then? After the shock of his perfection wore off and I took another look? I was never more happy to realize I might actually have a shot. I… how could his friends *never* see it? They'd known him for how long and they never saw it? Never realized he was the farthest thing from straight?

I suppose you see what you wanna see.

But then when he got in the car and checked me out? I got flutters in my gut- flutters I'd never really felt before.

I loved flirting with him that day and watching him squirm- trying to hide those dimples- trying not to look completely gay.

I watched him all day. I watched as he sat and ate and I watched his lips as he took a sip of his drink. Every time he took a sip of water, I longed to be the bottle.

I was sitting there watching his friends try and make him be straight and put his arm around his supposed girlfriend or say stuff that seemed straight. And he couldn't do it. I watched him and how could they not tell? I mean… he dressed completely gay- not fashionable. Not new age. Gay.

I wanted to jump up and yell at them all. He's GAY, okay? Let him be who is dammit. He's gay!

But I didn't. I kept thinking if anyone had screamed that out before *I* was ready to admit it? I would have died and never talked to that person again. But that doesn't mean I wasn't tempted. Doesn't mean I didn't want to wrap my arms around him and hold him and kiss his troubles away and give him a safe place to just be himself- be gay. I wanted to take him to some little remote corner of the world where he didn't have to pretend.

I realized I had it bad. *Really* bad.

And when he stormed off? After Ellie announced they broke up?

That instinct to protect him grew. I watched him walk off and my heart just melted.

I followed him with the intention of telling him I knew- that it was okay- that I'd be with him and everything would be fine. That I would help him and make it okay for him. I went to give him his first kiss or touch him or pull him to me and comfort him in a tender embrace. I don't know.

But when I got there? I saw just how fragile he was- how much he was hurting himself by not telling people.

I couldn't ruin that moment. I couldn't pressure him or push him into something he wasn't ready for. I realized if I was patient? Maybe I would have those stolen intimate moments. One day.

Patient. Something I'm remarkably not good at.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he barely whispered and shook his head as he did. He was far from okay.

I just sat there with him. For a long time- for an hour at least. But it seemed much longer. It seemed like eternity. A quiet eternity, for just us. Me and Him. Marco.

We sat there- not even touching- just watching the water and I'd *never* felt such an intimate thing. Ever.

And we weren't even doing any of the things I'd previously counted as my most intimate memories.

I'd never seen someone so vulnerable and strong all at once.

Until I saw Marco Del Rossi.

2

That night? I had *several* intimate moments with Marco Del Rossi, only I've never confessed that to him and I'm not sure I plan to. I might lose my cool factor if he knew some sophomore had me unraveled. I was the cool senior- comfortably out of the closet and enjoying life and then a sophomore had me completely undone.

The next day? When I saw him in school and he wearing a Maple Leafs jersey? I *knew*. I was practically giddy. I knew he'd worn it for me. Maybe not on purpose; but I knew he wore it for me. It was so not his usual clothing choice and it was way too big for him but he looked amazing in it. I kept thinking about what he'd look like with *my* jersey on. And nothing else.

It was a while before I got to see that too but it looks just as amazing.

It's like… whenever we were alone or close… I just felt this burning desire between us- this chemistry- palpable and real. I knew he felt it too- his eyes gave it away. His lips… begging to be kissed.

I looked for him at the hockey game and practically lost because I was so distracted looking to see when he'd get there. He never did and when I saw him at school the next day? His sweet eyes- pools of deep brown that I get lost in- were so sad. His beautiful face had been marred. It made me so angry. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. I imagined, once Paige told me the story, that it had been *me* who went looking for him in the park. *Me* that found him and held him as he cried about what had happened. I wished so desperately it'd been me.

It wasn't for a few weeks that I ran into him again. Outside of school, that is.

In that few weeks I started flirting with this cute guy that worked at the bookstore and I landed a date with him. In that time, I had a *few* dates with him, actually. He was cute and interesting and he liked hockey too. He'd come to a couple of my games as well. It was… nice. Casual, I suppose.

Then, Mom and Dad were away for a weekend and Paige informed me that she was having friends over and that if I was a loser, I'd stay and hang out with sophomores but since I wasn't a loser, I should go out and have fun and come back at midnight. So I did just that- I met Adam and we went to dinner and a movie- standard dateness. And we were kissing- okay full on make-out session- and I mentioned we could go to my house and watch another movie if he wanted. It was easily one in the morning so Paige's friends would be long gone.

I opened the door as he wrapped his arms around me for another lip lock and he pushed me inside, his mouth on mine. "DYLAN MICHALCHUK!" I jumped back from him to look and see her and her friends sprawled out all over the living room.

When I finally laid my eyes on Marco… I saw he was still feeling a *lot* for me. And I saw the flash of jealousy and anger and hurt in his eyes when he realized I was with another guy- obviously *with* another guy. Someone else.

"You said midnight," I said as my younger vivacious yet annoyingly perky sister jumped out of her boyfriend's arms and came at me.

"I said *may*be midnight, Dylan. But we're here so you're not."

"I'm older than you though, *Paige*. And you'd better be nice to me because Mom and Dad don't know about your little get together here."

"What? You're going to tell them I had a few friends over and we ate pizza?"

"Or I'll tell them that you and Spinner spent the night together on the couch and I found you with your shirts off in the morning," I grinned.

"DYLAN!" she yelped and hit me. Everyone laughed, except Spinner of course.

"Relax. I'm not going to bother you," I said. "We're going upstairs anyway."

Then I pulled him upstairs with me but I couldn't really bring myself to kiss him again because… because Marco was downstairs and I couldn't stop thinking about sneaking down there in a few hours when they'd all be passed out asleep. I wanted to see him when he was sleeping- what he'd look like… so when I woke in the middle of the night, I could imagine what it'd be like to have him beside me.

Adam was of course not happy when I told him I couldn't make-out with my little sister and pals downstairs and we played videogames for an hour before he left.

I went down to get a drink because I wasn't really tired and I laughed when I found them watching some cheesy porn movie. "Oh Paaaiiigee," I sang as I walked in and they all froze and looked up at me looking mortified. "*Some*one's being naughty."

"Dylan, we were- I- it's-" she stumbled and it's so funny to make my perfect sister speechless.

"You will *owe* me one," I tell her.

"Fine," she sighed and rolled her eyes.

I decided to stay because the guy in it was hot and the only seat available? Next to Marco; so I took it. He swallowed and I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and he looked so scared and nervous- deer in the headlights really. I'd never seen something more adorable than Marco Del Rossi, obviously aroused and nervous as hell about it.

"So… what are you guys gonna do *after* the video?" I asked with laugh.

"DYLAN!" Paige scolded.

But I sat there quiet for a bit and kept sneaking glances at him and it hardly looked like he was breathing.

I brushed my hand against his thigh and he nearly had a heart attack. It was fun stealing those moments with him- giving him those rushes and bursts of sexual energy. I remember the first time a guy had ever touched *my* thigh and how I felt like I'd vomit if one ever dare touch me anywhere else.

I wanted to share that with him. I wanted him to be able to use me to help him through the transition from straight to gay. From lying to truth. Fiction to reality.

But we were watching porn and that was hardly the time.

When the video was over, they kind of broke off to clean up and change and get sleeping bags out and Marco just sat there, right next to me. When I was sure they were all out of the room for the time being, I leaned over and whispered, "breathe" in his ear. "You have to breathe."

He did then- exhaled slowly and I watched his lips as he did.

They're so sweet- they were so sweet looking- soft and pouty and adorable.

When he finally turned to me, I smiled. "See? Breathing is a much better way of living."

"I'm gay," he blurted out, a bit unexpected but it wasn't a shock. "You know."

"I do," I nod. "I've known since the beach party."

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Who else does?" I asked curiously.

"Spinner… Paige… Jimmy- basically the gang. And whoever read it in the bathroom at school before I colored over it."

"Your parents?"

"No," he said quickly. "NO. No."

"That's… the way I did it too," I tell him. "Told a couple friends first… then a few more people figured it out. Then Paige overheard me talking to someone on the phone and by overheard, I mean she was listening in…" He smiled and I wanted to kiss him. "Anyway… she kept the secret until I felt I really *had* to tell my parents. Started with my mom first."

"How'd it go?" he asks curiously.

"Very not good at first. But… in time… she came around. She had to. Then Dad. It… helped having Mom on my side when I told him his only hockey playing son wanted to date all the other hockey players and enjoyed checking them out in the locker room."

He smiled again, softly.

"You just… you gotta take it slow… as you're comfortable," I said and touched his hand softly. "Okay? And if you ever… wanted to talk? I'm here. You can find me."

"Okay," he nodded. "Thanks, Dylan."

Hearing him say my name? I'd never heard something so sweet.

Never. Until I heard it from Marco Del Rossi.

3

Over the next few months he *did* come to me every now and then. If he was over, he'd always say hi. A few times he got to our house early and Paige wasn't ready so I'd talk to him… be friendly, all the while watching how his mouth moved when he talked. I know he was watching mine too but he wasn't ready. He didn't know what to do with those feelings. Girls had always felt awkward and then you're scared that maybe boys will be too. Or you won't know what to do. Yeah, you've kissed girls- maybe made out with one. But you were never attracted and now you are and it's… I remember how terrifying it was.

So I gave him his space- dated around a little. But nothing too serious because I only had eyes for Marco.

And then? When he finally confessed to me that he liked someone? I thought maybe he was ready.

Then he shot me down- I tried getting him to agree to go to a movie with me and I knew he wanted to say yes but he chickened out. It was disappointing. *So* disappointing. Too disappointing.

And Tom had been talking about wanted to go on a date so I agreed but I really didn't want it. I couldn't believe I was actually considering just *not* dating unless it was Marco. I'd *never* had that happen- not dating.

Not until I met Marco.

When he did come to me later that day? I was so happy and then he left. I wanted to follow him and just… grab him. Say here I am. Take me. I'm waiting. But he wouldn't have known what to do with me. I mean… he does *now*. God does that man know how to unnerve me.

I was completely shocked when *Spinner* of all people came to me and told me to ask Marco out. Paige herself told me how awkward Spinner had been, and to an extent still was, about the whole Marco and gay *thing*.

It was like… a godsend though- him coming to me, telling me that. I thought I had to wait for Marco to come to me, but… then I thought back to the first time *I* liked a guy and the first date *I* wanted? And I couldn't… I would *never* have asked him out.

So I made my move.

I found him at his locker. "Hey, we need to talk."

"Uh… ok," he said, looking at me.

"I just thought you should know that there's someone I like," I stated. I know… I… I just wanted to flirt a little maybe? Or see what he thought.

"Oh. Yeah, I mean… I understand. I'm too- short, too young, too girly."

And yes- he is all those things, granted. He's a good foot shorter than me but I love that. I love that he can just fit right against me. Young? Yes. Two years younger though- that's not much. And girly? *Yes*. He's not sporty or 'rugged' like me- like he calls me all the time. But… I liked that about him.

"And *way* too hard on yourself," I smirked, a glint in my eye.

"Are you… *messing* with me?" he asked, his whole *face* lighting up. God his smile and eyes could light up the room. They make me happy when I'm sad.

"Guilty as charged," I laughed.

"You're such a jerk," he laughed, hitting me.

Now this… this is something he thinks I am quite often. I'd say once a week I'm a jerk about *some*thing. About not kissing him as deep as he wants. Or making him watch sports with me. Or making him beg me to go down on him when I'm feeling playful. Yeah- he thinks I'm pretty jerky but he likes it just the same.

Then I asked him and his eyes… he's so sincere. I think that's what I love most about him- how wonderfully sincere he is.

"So… you finally got a date with him, Hon?" Paige asked as I riffled through my shirts, trying to find something that would not seem too… *butch* or *old*. I didn't want him uncomfortable. I mean… that *I* would be his first date? And I was definitely most assuredly to be his first kiss since I was bound and determined that night to taste those lips… I was excited.

"Yeah. We're going to a movie. Pick out something you think he'd like… I don't wanna seem too… *Dylan*."

"Too Dylan?" she laughed. "I think you're just Dylan enough for Marco, Hon."

And then I was there picking him up.

He was so cute and nervous and he didn't realize that I was nervous too. I was just as nervous because, yeah- I'd been on dates. But… it was nothing compared to this- a *real* date. I'd always been attracted to the guys I'd dated, but I'd never really *liked* them. I'd never had *feelings* for them before.

We had some dinner and talked and I've just never really been at ease with someone like I was with him. Marco just has this intense vulnerability about him but he's so strong as well. I admire that about him. I admire a lot about him.

And I had never felt *any*thing- *nothing*- like when I felt the heat of his hand over mine in the movie. And when I slide hand my fingers through his? I couldn't watch the rest of the movie because all I could think about was how he was touching me and how warm and soft his hand was.

I'd never touched *any*thing as warm or wonderful as Marco Del Rossi.

4

Of course the perfect first date I wanted to give him was ruined when his parents showed up. And then to hear his father going on and on about gay people? I couldn't believe what Marco must have felt like all the time- hiding. Making yourself sick worrying about the day that someone you don't want to know finds out. I worried like that too. So much.

I was hoping he'd follow me out when I left because I *really* wanted to give him that kiss but… he didn't. I wanted to tell him that the date hadn't been as horrible as he probably imagined. And I picked up the phone a dozen times to call him to tell him that but I didn't have a logical reason why I'd be calling his house. And of course the *one* time I needed her to do something for me, Paige was gone and couldn't call him for me.

I was grateful to run into him before school the next day because I didn't want him thinking he blew it or that I didn't wanna see him again. I didn't want him thinking that he couldn't talk to me or approach me in school.

I didn't want him feeling *more* ashamed. I didn't wanna be the one to make him feel that.

And when I *finally* got the chance to kiss him? It was incredible.

It was *incredible*. His lips- so soft and warm. He tastes inherently sweet. It's like… it's a part of him. His skin is so sweet when I kiss him, when I run my tongue up his spine… he's sweet. Sweet Marco- I like teasing him and calling him that. Or Sweet Baby when we're alone in bed. Or Sweet God when he's running *his* tongue up *my* spine.

From then on? We went out every Friday and Saturday. And I, of course, being the handsome older senior, met him at his locker in between classes. I wanted as much as I could get of him.

And I couldn't get enough. I couldn't stop wanting to kiss him *al*ways. I wanted to spend the summer kissing him. And that? I basically did.

Well… we spent the first couple weeks of summer making out in between my job and his helping his dad at work.

It was a couple days into the third week that we were making out pretty heavily- in my room- when I felt it change- the thing between us- the heat, the chemistry. My Marco got hungry. I felt the change in the kiss – how it got deeper and how he moved a bit closer to me- pressing against me, pulling me toward him. It was like he wasn't sure he knew how to get what he wanted or how much of it he would get but he wanted it just the same.

I push him down a little on my bed and he was content with a few minutes of passionate kissing- heated. I'd never been so heated during a kiss. Ever.

After a bit though, he pulled away, breathless, and whispered (or rather pleaded), "Dylannn."

A simple request.

I obliged by pulling on his shirt a little so I could slide down and kiss his stomach softly. And that little moan that escaped his lips? It's a sound I'll never forget- a sweet, soft little mew.

I pulled his shirt completely off and it was the first time I'd seen him- his skin- most of it anyway. Such a beautiful color- golden almost. It… reminded me of the sun- that's what I remember thinking. It was golden like the sun and hot like it too. Hot and soft. His breath was ragged and labored as I took some time to explore his chest with my hands and lips. I locked my lips over each of his nipples in succession and heard that little mew again.

"Dyllannn." Another request. I moved back up and his lips captured mine this time- he initiated a kiss for the first time. My Sweet Marco *was* getting hungry. He started pulling my shirt off and I let him. I wasn't sure how far it might go but I was more than willing to find out. Anything that would allow me more Marco skin was time well spent.

His hands felt amazing on me and he kinda pushed me on the bed and I laid there, touching his back and running my fingers through his hair as he kissed on my chest and laved on my nipples- as I'd done to his. My Marco is nothing if not a quick study, as I've learned many times over since that day at the beach.

"You're so…" he whispered as he kissed my neck.

"What?" I asked.

"Sexy." That was the reply I got before his lips descended on mine again. And that was all we said while we kissed and touched for another I don't even know for how long. All I know is that we were wrapped up together for as long as we possibly could be until more had to be done to relieve the situation and when we reached that point, he pulled away because he knew we were there.

Decision-time.

Pull away? Because it's safe and simple and not at all scary.

Or move for the zipper? Because it's what you really want but are terrified about.

But I remembered the first time *I* was at decision-time and how I laid there next to Alan for… what seemed like forever- trying to figure out what I should do, trying to figure out if I got up how I would make him not hate me, or if I wanted more how to tell him how terrified I was. And then I started thinking about how long it'd been since I'd stopped kissing- since I'd reached Decision-time…

I made the decision for him. I slipped my arms around him and pulled him against my chest- holding him like I'd always wanted- well… in my dreams when I was holding a bare-chested Marco against me in bed, he was also bare-bottomed having just had his first Dylan-induced orgasm.

But I made the decision for him by pulling him against me and I felt the worry expel itself into my body. I felt him automatically relax. The tension in his mind disappeared instantaneously. I felt the relief that I wasn't going to make him make the decision. "We'll wait," I whispered softly and kissed his forehead.

He nodded and kissed my chest softly- just a light peck.

And my soul was just singing. I'd never felt something so incredible as this. I'd never felt *so* intimate with *any*one and we hadn't even had sex- what I had previously thought of as the most intimate thing you can do with another person.

I'd never felt… in love.

That is until I felt Marco Del Rossi.

5

Well that was how we spent the middle part of summer vacation. We would make out until we couldn't stand it and then lose our shirts and touch and kiss more. And every time was incredible. Every time made me weak.

*Me*. Dylan Michalchuk. Weak. I know. I didn't believe it either, but he made me weak.

And don't get me wrong- it was not all making-out sessions that we did.

I think the part of that summer that I loved most was when we'd just… lay. Sometimes it was on my couch- he'd drape himself over me, head on my chest, and we'd watch a movie while his fingers played with my shirt. Or we'd be on my bed and watch some dumb TV show he loved. Or we'd lay together in the hammock that was strung up in our back yard between two large maple trees. We would sometimes fall asleep in the afternoons and take a nap or talk about silly stupid things that don't really matter. He'd tell me about some job he'd done for his dad or about some dumb argument Paige and Hazel had gotten into over who was the more successful recording artist Britney or Christina. Or we'd nestle up in the hammock together at night with a blanket around us and watch the stars together.

Some of the best nights of my life were that summer- just holding him and being close- sharing stories and details about our lives- things you'd want your lover to know. Like that you don't like scrambled eggs or you want to go to Las Vegas when you graduate college. Or that you like to sing in the shower. Little things.

All the little things add up and keep adding up until you're at that moment when you're standing in the kitchen, throwing spoonfuls of whip cream at your boyfriend. He's about to squirt you with butterscotch and you're both laughing and having a wonderful time and you can't imagine anything better and you hold up your hands in defeat and just say, "Marco, I love you."

And then little things don't matter because he's looking at you like… like you're the only thing in the world that makes any sense and he says, "I love you too."

Then you throw another spoonful of whip cream right in his face and he declares that you're a jerk and kisses you just the same. That's… that's how it happened. The big moment. Well… one of the big moments.

The *other* big moment happened a week or so after the ice cream topping fight.

The parents were gone for a romantic weekend before their son went off to college and Paige was spending the night at Hazel's, aka Spinner's. And Marco was staying at Jimmy's, aka *my* room.

We rented movies actually. I hadn't planned anything. He's never told me if he had, though I have my suspicions that young Sweet Marco came with the intention of seducing me. His cologne was particularly… sensual and his hair was clean and he was freshly shaved. He smelled so clean and sweet…

I went down to make popcorn and when I got back upstairs the TV was on as were a couple candles that I don't remember having.

"I thought it would look pretty. Your room is too… drab," he explained.

"Now you don't approve of my living conditions?"

"Do your living conditions require posters of guys slamming each other into plexiglas?"

He's always teasing me about all my hockey stuff.

"Fine, when I move into my dorm I'll let you have *one* wall to decorate to your liking so when you visit me, it'll meet your approval," I grinned as I sat on the bed. That's when I looked over at my nightstand and noticed a condom sitting there- one that I hadn't put there. "Marco?"

"You're… going to college soon and I…"

"I told you we'd wait and we'll wait. You shouldn't sleep with someone because they're going to college. That's not a good enough reason. I uh… don't want you to regret your first time, ya know?"

"I love you," he said.

"And I love you too but I didn't say it to get you to sleep with me. I said it because I wanted you to know," I told him and took his hands in mine and pulled him onto the bed with me.

"I… I know that, but… I… we've… been fooling around… and enough is enough. I got tired of waiting," he explained, his eyes so innocent, looking at me for the answers. Looking to me to solve things and set things right. I was more experienced. I was older. I was supposed to take care of his needs. And I hadn't been meeting them.

"There's other stuff we can do besides have sex…"

"No, I…" And he was lost again. Marco is very… *safe*. He's not reckless and he doesn't take chances or put himself out there very much. So I imagined what was going through his mind- trying to voice his desires without specifically having to say anything.

"Okay, listen," I said, pulling him against me. "You don't… you don't have to sleep with me just because I'm going to college. If you want to, if you're ready, then that's another story. But you don't have to, okay?" He nodded slowly. "Now… we're going to start our movie fest of all our favorite stupid movies because I melted tons of butter for this popcorn and it's gonna be good."

"You do make really good popcorn," he agreed.

"Good." I pressed my lips softly to his and we watched about thirty minutes of the first movie before he started touching me. *There*. I was completely surprised and nearly spilt all my soda.

But I didn't say anything. He had just… casually slipped his hand from my *thigh* to over my cock and that's where it stayed for a while. For long aching moments when I attempted to eat a piece of popcorn and couldn't because my sweet Marco was touching me where I most wanted him to touch me.

And *then*? He started rubbing me and that just… changed things. I knew we had to do something. He wanted something and he wanted it that night. So I let him do what he wanted for a bit- let him lead since he obviously had thought about what he might do. And I *really* didn't want to stop him.

And I had no intention of it after he started rubbing me.

No I'd definitely never stop Marco Del Rossi.

6

No I definitely had no intention of stopping him and I nearly cried when the movie ended and he got up to take the DVD out of the player. He turned back to me and smirked, knowingly, with a little glint of pride in his eyes. Like… he *knew* he had me unhinged at the moment- that he had caught me by surprise and had me exactly where he wanted me: desperate for him.

"Still wanna wait, Caro Mio?" he asked and the Italian really just… every now and then he'll say something in Italian and it's my unraveling. He figured that out that night when I groaned and a shiver ran up my spine.

"I… n- M- hm…" is all I could say.

He put in another DVD and I just sat helplessly waiting for him. When he came and sat back down I immediately yanked him under me and started kissing him desperately. I… said we'd wait but maybe we'd waited long enough? I just… didn't want his first time to be rushed or for the wrong reasons… I could really see myself with him for a while and I wanted it to be perfect. Whatever perfect sex really is- I wasn't sure that I'd had it so maybe I wanted it perfect for me too.

I knew I didn't want our first time to be on the couch, so I stopped for a second- pulled away.

"Dylan, no," he whispered helplessly. "Please don't turn me away."

"I'm not," I replied, just as soft. "I'm not, Sweet Marco," I repeated and touched his face softly. "I think we should move to my bed."

He nodded in agreement and I turned off the TV and took his hand to lead him to the bed. I turned down my sheets and took the condom back out of the drawer along with a tube of lubricant.

He looked at me with wide eyes, but trusting. He knew he'd enjoy it because I knew what I was doing.

And I'm glad he thought that because I was *terrified*.

"So… do we…" he started to say and I looked down at him. "How do we… do we take off our clothes now?"

I smiled softly. "God you are *so* cute," I whispered and kissed him, sweeping my tongue into his mouth for a taste of what was to come.

"Do we?" he repeated. My lovely worrier Marco. So organized and thoughtful. It dawned on me that he'd probably been worrying a lot about when the proper time for clothing removal was.

"We can," I said. "If you want. Or we can just start kissing and take them off as we want."

"What do you prefer?"

"What are you comfortable with?" I countered.

"What's easier?"

"What do you want?" I asked again.

"You're such a jerk," he laughed and pushed me playfully. "And I want… to see my boyfriend naked."

"You ready for that, Del Rossi? Hmm? Full frontal Dylan?"

"I'm ready," he nodded emphatically. "I'm *very* ready."

So I stripped and held my breath the entire time. Knowing he was watching me? I felt so… bashful. I'd never been about taking my clothes off. I did it all the time in the locker room but knowing it was *Marco* watching me? Judging me? Deciding whether *this* was the body he wanted next to him for years? I think I was blushing by the time I reached for my boxers and he caught my hand to stop me.

"Change your mind?" I ask carefully.

"No. I just… don't want my head to explode," he grinned.

"Oh it will," I whispered, sexually.

His eyes fluttered then. I saw them. I'd never said something *so* sexual to him and I liked what it did to his eyes.

"Now you," I said and help him to pull off his shirt and yes, I've seen him with his shirt off a number of times, he's still gorgeous. "Such a pretty shade of gold," I whispered as I kissed his throat and collarbone.

Then I unzipped his jeans and got them off and pulled him against me for a deeper kiss. "You sure?"

"Yes," he nodded and pulled me onto the bed with him. From there? I don't know.

We were kissing and touching, licking as well- just like we'd always done but it was done with such care before and now it was *not* the show but the pre-game. The show came when I made a move for his boxers. I was painstakingly hard at the time but I thought it might be less scary for him if I took his off first. And I figured he'd stop me if it wasn't okay.

But I was glad he didn't stop me. I wanted to look- to stare- but I didn't want to freak him out so I pressed myself against him and slid my hand under the covers to touch him.

"Ohgod," he groaned and threw his head back into the pillow. "Ohgod, Dylan…"

"I'll take good care of you, Sweet Marco," I whispered against his lips as I stroked him more.

I let him pass through my palm slowly so I could feel him- imagine what it would look like when I finally saw it- licked it- kissed it. I couldn't wait. I kissed his lips once more and descended down the bed, dragging my lips and tongue behind. I left kisses along his stomach- his beautifully gold stomach- until I made my way to my beautiful prize.

And what a delicious prize it was. *Is*. Every time.

I'd never been *so* fascinated by skin color as when I held his penis in my hands to examine it. I thought that all of him would be that beautiful color but I'd only been with pasty white guys thus far. So I didn't really know what a turn on it would be.

And it was, even as I took him in my mouth and heard the mew that I loved so much.

"Dyyylllaaaannn," he groaned and I felt his hands in my hair and him surging up against me, straining against my mouth. It was perfection, literally. I could have died right then and there and been perfectly happy as I took my last breath. Of course when I was thinking that? I hadn't yet felt the exquisite pleasure of having Marco inside me and *that* is something I would have missed out on.

I sucked and licked on him until he was pulling on my arms to tell me to stop. "No," he said. "Not until…"

"This is not an either or situation we're in here, Del Rossi," I explained. "And right now my sole purpose is to make you come." Then I went back to licking on him and rubbing all over him and he did come. Oh he did. Into my mouth as he whimpered my name and groaned and pulled on my hair a little and it was amazing.

I'd never tasted anything so sweet and perfect as Marco Del Rossi.

7

After he came and I'd had my eyes filled with visions of a naked Marco, I slid back up his body and kissed him softly on the lips.

"God, you're cute," I reminded him. He's just… so cute. He's like… a little teddy bear. My teddy bear.

"I told you not to say that," he said. He always says that when I've told him he's cute.

"But you really are just so *cute*. I mean… sexy and gorgeous too, but mainly just cute."

"Dylannn," he reminded me of what we were here for and yes, I hadn't forgotten. I just needed a minute but before another minute went by, his hands were pushing my boxers off my hips.

"Nervous?" I asked as I helped him get my boxers off completely.

"Yes and no," he answered as I felt his hands slide down my chest and abs until they landed on me. I groaned a bit as he started rubbing on me. "But… I want this."

"Well then it you shall have," I smiled and kissed him more as he touched me- deep, passionate, heated kisses that left us both breathless and panting for air that wouldn't come.

After a minute of kissing I pulled his body flush against mine so we could finally feel skin on skin and it was incredible. It was everything I thought it would be- intimate and hot and slightly sweaty.

God I was so hard I felt it might fall off if we wanted any longer so I reached for the condom and pulled back the covers so I could put it on and he watched the entire time.

I knew he was watching, learning, absorbing for one day when he might do this for me- although that didn't happen until we broke up and got back together. That night… well that night is not this night.

Then I reached for the tube and kissed him more. "How should I… lay?" he asked.

"Don't worry so much," I whispered. "I told you I'd take care of you and I will, okay? You can lay however you want. If you wanna be on your back, then stay like this. If you wanna lay on your stomach, that's fine too."

"I can't help it. I worry. I plan. I organize."

"I know; it's part of why I think you're so fascinating," I smiled and kissed him more. "And one day, we'll have the most organized sex just for you. But tonight is different." I kissed him again before sliding my tongue down his throat. "Now… just so I can get you ready, flip over."

And he did, slowly. He was shaking. I felt that much in his body when I touched him.

"It'll feel… really awkward," I explain as I put a pillow under his hips and kissed the base of his spine. "At first… it might hurt. Okay? But it'll feel really good in the end. I mean… *really* good."

"Okay," he said, his voicy shaky and unsure.

I slid up his body to kiss his neck and shoulder blades. I ran my mouth over his back and my hands as well- touching his beautiful perfect skin. He was really… flawless. I couldn't find one thing about his body that I didn't like. I have never been able to.

I covered my fingers with lube and then it was time- time to show him that my relationship with Alan was worthwhile and that I had learned something.

I was terrified that I'd do it wrong and he'd hate me forever but I couldn't… if I stopped, he'd think it was because I didn't love him or something, so I slowly pushed my finger inside him and felt him tense up immediately. "It's okay," I whispered and kissed his spine. "Just relax, okay? I'm gonna go slow. It'll feel good in a minute, I promise." And I slowly pushed my finger deeper and began moving it around, looking for that little- right there. That little gland inside that makes it all feel so amazing and he groaned softly when I did that.

It took me several long minutes to be sure he was ready for me- I wanted to make sure he was slick enough and relaxed enough but then we arrived at the point of no return when I *had* to be inside him or else I would explode. And for that, I wanted to be able to see his face. So I flipped him over carefully and his eyes were lusty and looking at me with hope that it would feel amazing- as amazing as our kisses.

And I knew the moment he helped me get lube on my cock that it'd be just what I wanted for him- for us. It'd be okay. It'd be amazing and wonderful and the nerves just left my system as I pressed myself against him and started pushing inside.

I made sure I was close to him- our bodies pressed tightly together. It wasn't the time for deep, penetrating sex. That came later with us. That night was just… for *us*. To feel each other and feel each other we did. When I was finally fully inside him, I kissed him deeply.

It only took us a minute before we were moving together and our arms were around each other.

He was… exquisite. Hot and tight and his lips- tasting his lips as I got inside him- it was all just… if there is a heaven? It's inside him. I've told him this a million times but he doesn't believe me.

I had never felt *any*thing quite as amazing as the inside of Marco Del Rossi.

8

The rest of that perfect summer was spent much of the same way as the *first* part of that summer, except that our laying and talking about stupid things usually happened *after* 'full frontal Dylan' as he calls it.

We even had the dreaded 'how many' conversation too. One night, after full frontal, his head was on my chest, my arms around him, and he told me that my body was very masculine- that he was glad he got to enjoy the benefits of my athleticism. It made me laugh.

"So…" his fingers swirled around my belly button. "How many *other* people have enjoyed those benefits?" he asked quietly.

"Do you really wanna have that conversation *now*?" I ask. "After all the full frontal fun?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"One and a half. Well… two and a half counting you."

"Half?"

"Well I was naked with my first boyfriend but we didn't have sex. We just did other stuff. And then with my first. And then with you."

"Who was he? Your first?"

"Marco…"

"C'mon. You know about *my* first time."

"That's because I was there, Silly Boy," I teased. But I told him. I told him Alan was my first major boyfriend and we dated a few times- for a few weeks in the tenth grade before we had sex. I told him that my first time having sex wasn't like his. It was… it wasn't like Alan was mean or anything but it wasn't like I was in love with him either. I just wanted to be with him. He was older and more experienced and wanted sex. So we had it.

"But you're the first I've been inside of," I added at the end for romantic emphasis.

"I wish I was the *first*," he replied.

"I wish that too. But you weren't very cute in the eighth grade. All of Paige's friends annoyed me then," I smirked.

"You're such a jerk," he laughed and hit me like always.

"Yeah, well you bring the best out in me, Marco."

"More like the *worst*. You've gotten a lot cockier since I met you."

"I *have* gotten cockier," I said, sliding a hand down his body.

"And while it's completely true, that's not what I meant."

"Well maybe dating an incredibly hot Italian guy gave me an ego boost," I smirked.

"Yeah, well dating an older hockey player did the same for me."

"Ya know… that day? On the beach? I mean… when we met- or rather I'd seen you before at the house but we met met? Spent time? It's… I watched you all day."

"Oh really?" he asked, his eyes perking up as he propped his head up on his hands as he moved to lay over me. "Why was that exactly?"

"Because I knew. The second you looked at me, I knew."

"Yeah? You knew what exactly that I was gay?"

"No. I knew I'd have you right here one day- fully frontal."

"Like I said- awfully cocky," he laughed.

"Well you bring it out of me, what can I say? I can't get enough of you Marco Del Rossi. You make me wanna be full frontal all the time," I said, flipping us both over, pinning him below me so I could kiss him as I chose.

"So… what's gonna happen this year?" he asked after a minute of playful kissing. "With you… in college."

"It's right in town," I tell him. "We'll talk on the phone and since my sister is party obsessed, you'll come on the weekends with her to whatever party is around. Friday or Saturday dates… you'll see. It'll work out."

"And what about fully frontal time?" he asked, worried.

"Oh I'll make time for that, Sweet Marco- you can bet on that. Any time you want fully frontal, you just let me know."

"I will for sure," he laughed and leaned up to kiss me again.

Yeah- I'd never had a better summer in my life than the one I spent with Marco Del Rossi.

9

School started up again only *this* time? It was dorm life for me. I was scared to start college because I was afraid of being called 'Homochuck' and not having my boyfriend around to complain to and to be understanding. I didn't want to be without my annoying little sister who was one of my closet allies and friends since my coming out to her.

At the same time, it was thrilling as well. To my surprise there were SO many gay guys to talk to, it shocked me. I easily found four or five really nice gay guys that lived in my dorm. We quickly became friends.

It was incredible being with *guys* and being friends with them and be able to talk about something hot your boyfriend did. Or how cute one of the professors was. It was a whole new way of living. A way I hadn't known was possible. I could be in a room full of my male friends and say how damn cute I thought Justin Timberlake was and wonder if he had a big dick and they wouldn't give me that 'oh yeah, you're gay' look. They'd wonder with me.

That's why when Marco hid that damn picture from his mother, it… it hurt me *so* bad. Like… like he was ashamed of loving me- of what we did together. Like it was wrong.

"Dylan! Dylan! Wait up, Dylan. Where are you going?"

"Back to my dorm," I said curtly.

"Ok here, then take this with you," he said. "Make your dorm mates jealous."

"They're straight."

"Okay, so make them uncomfortable."

"Actually, they don't have a problem with me being gay. I'm your boyfriend, Marco."

"I know," he said- replied like it obvious. But…

"Yeah, well you're the only one in your family that does." I handed him back the picture.

"Babe-"

"I'll call you later," I told him and walked away and it hurt *so* bad.

It just… it was like… we'd been having *sex* and talking- I knew so much about him and my family knew him. He'd been to dinner, not as Paige's friend but as *my* friend. He even went to the beach with us in August- my parents invited him.

And it's like… he didn't- he was just as ashamed of being gay as his father was hateful of "homos".

I couldn't take it. I didn't call him that night. I spent the night talking to Paige on the phone and to my friends… I didn't know what to do.

I didn't want to hide things. I… I tried giving him a picture of us on the beach that Paige took so he'd have a little something of me while I was away and he wouldn't even *take* it. He said it was evidence and he couldn't have it in the house.

That all just… all the times we had to hide and how we could never go to *his* house because he didn't want his parents suspicious.

It was just too much. I didn't want to feel ashamed and he was making me feel that and I hadn't felt that in a long time. I remember how crappy it felt.

I did answer the phone when he called.

"Dylan! Hey, can we talk?"

"Now's not a good time, Marco."

"Okay, I just had this really huge day. There's someone running against me now."

"Well, that's what happens at elections, right?"

"Right. Um uh… you forgot to call me last night."

"After the thing with the pictures, I came back to my dorm and um… I did a lot of thinking."

"Dylan, c'mon. It was just a stupid picture."

"It's not just a picture, Marco, and I can't-" I froze for a split second. The words… I didn't want them to come out of my mouth but they found their way. "Do this anymore. I'm sorry. Not like this. I gotta go."

And then I hung up.

I nearly threw up after I realized what I'd done and I tried calling back but his phone was off.

I wanted to go to him and hug him but… I said what I said and it's not like I could show up at his house. That… would be a no-no. I tried calling him again and it didn't go through. I had Paige call him and she didn't get through either.

So I cried to her. I didn't know what I did. I didn't know why I'd said what I'd said.

I didn't know anything.

Except that I'd never wanted anything more than to kiss Marco Del Rossi again.

10

The phone rang when I was at practice- when we were just about to start. I picked it up. "Hey, Paige."

"OH MY GOD! DYLAN! I *soo* tried calling earlier and I didn't wanna leave a message. Where have you been?"

"Paige, what's going on? I was in class. The phone was off."

"HE TOLD HER, Dylan. Marco… he told his mom. She knows. She knows he's gay. She knows you were his boyfriend. She knows you've been together all summer. She knows!"

Oh my god. I… fell onto the bench hard. He… he *told* her?

"Dylan? You still there, Hon?"

"MICHALCHUCK!" I heard coach scream. "Get your ass out here!"

"Paige, I… shit. I have to go. Practice. Would you… tell him I'm proud of him? That I'll call him tomorrow?"

I wanted to go to his house and give him a huge kiss right in front of her, but…

I couldn't.

But she called me late that night and said she hadn't gotten to talk to him and he didn't know.

So I skipped a class to go and hear his speech. I needed to tell him that I was sorry. That it was wrong to blackmail him into telling his mother. That I missed him.

I heard his speech and he looked *so* hot up there. I liked his hair like that too, long and straightened.

I went looking for him afterwards and found him in the hallway and when Alex left and he saw me… when his eyes were on me, it was like coming home.

We head outside so we're out of sight.

"Congratulations, Mr. President. So, what does it feel like to be the most powerful man at Degrassi?" I asked to break the nice a little.

"Mixing me up with Mr. Raditch, eh? Not cool, nor flattering. I really liked you being here today, Dylan. Probably because I just plain old like you. I told my mom."

"Paige told me," I replied. I wanted to hug him.

"But I'm not ready to tell my dad. Not yet."

"You're eventually going to have to tell him... but uh when you're ready and I'm okay with that part!" I had to be. I couldn't blackmail him again. That had been wrong. Necessary but wrong.

I started to lean in but-

"HEY, Mr. President! That's our new president! I'm so happy for him! So? How much you win by?"

"I won. Let's leave it at that."

"I still think you could have used more posters! Marco! That boy! What he called out! And what you answer back! What is that?"

I saw fear flash in eyes when he looked at me. I'd definitely need to reassure him I was okay with his dad not knowing. I had definite groveling ahead of me.

"Dirty politics. I mean I guess queer was the worst thing he thought he could call me you know?"

"Still! You make me and your mama very proud of you today!"

"Very proud," his mom said and looked at me. "Didn't he, Dylan?"

"He won, Mrs. Del Rossi. And I think that's great!" I said and looked in her eyes and she didn't… I think she was really okay with it. She was accepting.

Once they left, I took his hand and pulled him back behind the school in the alleyway.

"What?" he asked me.

"This," I whispered and kissed him slowly. "I… I'm sorry. I… shouldn't have made you feel you had to tell her."

"It was time," he answered. "She… said she kind of already knew. That I'd been spending too much time with you."

"Well I think you've been spending a *lot* of time with me, but not too much. But I'm… so proud of you. For… for winning but for telling her too."

"Yeah?" he beamed.

"Yeah, Del Rossi. I'm *very* proud of you. And I think I should buy you dinner tonight to celebrate. And… to grovel."

"You were just… Dylan, I know it hurt you. It… was hurting me too. You don't have to grovel. Though… if you wanted to for fun, I wouldn't say no."

"Then fun groveling and dinner and maybe a little full frontal?"

"Definitely a little full frontal," he laughed and I pull him into my arms for a hug.

I had never been more happy to hug Marco Del Rossi.