Rating: NC-17 for Darco slash
Summary: The relationship of Marco and Dylan as seen through Dylan's eyes.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I wish I did. They're yummy.
A/N: These two have inspired the slash monkies of olden times- of Buffy times. Let me know if you like it.

Dedication: Thank you SO much to luvluv for all your help with sparking my muses and your awesome feedback!!!

THANKS TO: BROOKE for the feedback!!!!

11

So that's how my first year of college basically went. We got fully frontal as much as we could- on the weekends when I didn't have practice or he didn't have a school function going on or I didn't have school work or he didn't have to help his dad out. It… the closeness we found that perfect summer sort of… deteriorated a little. I… I don't know. I was still in love with him but… but I was growing close with my friends, in particular with Eric. I don't know- we just… okay. Yes. I was attracted to him, okay? There. I said it.

I was attracted to Eric- more than just friends. And I couldn't explain it. I thought maybe that's just… I'd never *had* gay male friends. All my friends had been straight. And all the gay guys I knew had been boyfriends. I thought maybe it's just friendliness toward him or something.

But then he invited me to his house the weekend before the blood drive for his sister's birthday party and his family all knew. They… welcomed me and showed me around and treated me like… like I was their own kid. I liked that. And Eric… we were in his room and he was showing me some stuff and he said that he liked me. He confessed his attraction. He said he'd never known such a hot white guy.

And then he kissed me and it was new and different and exciting. I… I honestly have no good reason for what happened that week. It was just different and I pulled away and told Eric that I had a boyfriend. He explained that he did too- that his boyfriend was in the States studying and they had a sort of… open policy. No sex with other people but anything else was okay, as long as it was safe.

I told him that wouldn't be happening- that I had a boyfriend and that we could only be friends. But that night when I was in my room alone, I kept thinking about that kiss. I kept thinking about how exciting it had been to have his lips against mine- different lips. I remembered how much I liked dating and having fun. I kept thinking maybe there were people Marco want to see too. I mean… I had been his one and only. That maybe we could still be together but date a little more.

And I was going to talk to Marco but I couldn't- not the morning of the blood drive. I would talk to him after. After the party that night- that was the plan. To tell him there had been a kiss but it wasn't a big deal and that maybe we might want to consider seeing other people.

Then Eric came over that morning- I got back to my dorm room after my first class and he was there waiting for me. He said he was sorry for the awkwardness but that he just thought I was in the same place as him.

We had been planning on studying so we started working and his hand grazed over mine and I froze, looking down at his hand, covering mine. He slid it up my arm *so* slowly and pulled my lips to his and it was so brazen. So very different from Marco, who still struggled to initiate sex because he was so shy.

I got wrapped up in someone pulling *me* down and kissing *me* slowly but then more passionately and the next thing I knew, we were on the bed, our legs intertwined and kissing and then I heard the door open.

And reality came crashing down.

"Marco! Marco, wait!" I said, panicking.

"No."

"About Eric, I meant to tell you. He's… a friend from Psych class."

"There's other ways, better ways of breaking up, Dylan!"

"Who's breaking up? Honey, I'm in university now and there are people here, really interesting people that… that I really like." Now admittedly? When this came out of my mouth, I knew I was handling it *bad*. I knew that what I was doing was not the way to handle things. But I couldn't shut my mouth off. I kept thinking maybe it will work out once he cools down.

"Oh yeah, like Eric."

"I love you and I don't want to stop seeing you. What I'd like to do is open things up a bit. Ya know… see other people."

He shoved me away and I… I thought maybe he just needed to think about it.

And then he came to the party and I thought perfect. Marco could see that it wasn't bad- that I'd still be with him and have my friends as well. And it went okay. And he looked so great up on the TV. I was proud of him and admittedly just slightly inebriated.

I went to get a drink with Eric and then I saw Marco talking to this recluse gay Mike. It… okay. When I saw him start talking to him? It cut. It really did but I smiled anyway because… because maybe he was getting on board with the seeing other people thing. I didn't want to jump into bed with anyone. I just… wanted to be able to go on a date or something and still… I don't know. Okay? Honestly? In retrospect? I have *no* idea where my mind was at this point in my life.

But I went looking for him later to talk. To… maybe set some ground rules or something. I don't know what I would say. Maybe I would end up confessing that I needed him to be… more… non-Marco.

Instead, I saw him plant a kiss on Craig and I… the look on Craig's face was just… priceless.

I turned and walked back to the party because I didn't really know what to do. Marco came and found me and pulled me out into the hallway.

"I don't want you to see other people. I don't like it and I'm not gonna like it and I'm not gonna feel bad that it bugs me."

"It bugs you?" I asked and felt stupid for asking. Obviously it bugged him.

"It bugs me."

"It doesn't have to okay? How I feel about you, this changes none of that." I mean… we could… if he didn't want me kissing other guys, then maybe we could make our own rules or something. I don't know. I just… during that party I started realizing I might have feelings for Eric.

"That's fine and okay. But you see it changes how I- how I feel about *me*."

"My freedom. That's important to me right now. I can't give that up." I thought he might see that and we could talk about what had been going wrong- why I wasn't feeling connected to him like we'd been over the summer.

"Then you and me? I can. And it's over."

And then he walked away and I just stood there, confused out of my mind.

I had… the next morning? I had a hard time remembering what exactly had happened and how I *let* it happen and if there was anything I could do to change it.

I should have *never* done what I did to Marco Del Rossi.

12

I tried calling him several times but got nowhere. He either didn't pick up or wasn't available. I left messages too- telling him it didn't have to be the end. That if he could accept that I had a few close friends… that I wanted to talk this through. I wanted to tell him that I started talking with Eric because I couldn't talk to *him*. Because he wasn't there or didn't call. That being in two different worlds pulled us apart.

I tried to get Paige to talk to him but she was pretty pissed off with me all summer, while Marco was away in Africa. I sent him a couple letters and never heard back.

In September? I stopped trying to reach him. I knew I'd ruined it. By October? I realized how colossally stupid I'd been because I realized I didn't really like the whole 'dating' thing. I used to enjoy the dating part of dating. Going on dates and talking and holding hands. But no one I found even compared to Marco.

I was going to try again during Christmas vacation but his parents swept him away to Italy.

Then, in January, I met Preston and we hit it off. I… was tired of apologizing and feeling badly for the way things ended. Paige reported that he was moving on and dating a couple people. I… it hurt as it does when you hear past lovers have moved on. I knew I should move on as well.

So me Pres were together for a few months.

He was cute and funny. We had a good time together and we had… I mean… not Marco and me chemistry- not the burning desire for each other, but we had an attraction. A friendship as well, I think. But every time he'd try to take it one step further, I'd hear in the back of my head 'he's not Marco'. And I'd stop and he started to think I was really a virgin. I assured him I wasn't. In early April, he was really pushing for sex so I agreed.

And he set the mood really nice- romantic candles and dinner and music- and it would have been perfect.

Had it been Marco with me.

Suffice it to say, Preston broke up with me because he said I was clearly still hung up on my ex, which was the truth. Paige's graduation was coming up and that meant Marco's as well.

I made plans to spend the summer in Degrassi trying to get him back. That was where all my effort was going to go: wooing a short girly Italian man.

Paige had mentioned he was seeing some kid- helping him come out. And when I showed up at the Dot to pick Paige up and saw 'Tim'? I knew he wouldn't be a problem to remove.

The first thing I had to do was get rid of Tim. But that was after I got done drooling over what a year had done for Marco. He was cute before but he had gotten seriously hot. Older. Gorgeous. More tanned.

Paige followed me out and got in the car and I just sat for a minute.

"Hon? You *do* know how to drive, do you not? Because you know I'm not allowed."

"He looks… amazing," I admitted. "You didn't tell me how amazing he looks. I mean… he's… hot."

"I told you he looked good."

"No, but he looks… *good*. I… want him back, Paige. I need him back."

"I told you I can only get you just so far, Dylan. But… it wouldn't be totally inappropriate for me to suggest to one of my bestest pals that we blow off some steam at a local gay club where my dashingly handsome brother might just *happen* to be," she grinned.

"Paige? I love you."

"You owe me unlimited car rides this summer- especially if the plan works and you get back with him."

"That's a deal."

I knew I'd probably regret making a deal with the devil, but it was the only way I thought I could get him back.

I made sure to wear the blue shirt he always said he liked- because it brought out my eyes. He said he liked that color on me and I wanted to be as irresistible as I could.

And when I saw him? In classic Marco wear- looking *hot*- I nearly died. I loved his fashion sense because it was just always classy. And his hair was longer and curlier. I really loved it.

I was out dancing, waiting for him to notice me and as soon as his eyes were on me, I felt it. We still had chemistry.

He rushed right over too and I knew I'd have another chance with him because if he'd truly been over me, he wouldn't have bothered to come over.

"What are you doing here? Did Paige put you up to this?" God he was so firey and hot when he was angry.

"No, I did."

He turned to start leaving and I grabbed his arm.

"Just hear me out! I miss us. I miss you. You're cute. You're smart. And you're funny. And I made a *huge* mistake.

"Yeah you *did* make a mistake, Dylan! Tonight, coming here. I'm with Tim now. He's my boyfriend."

I was about to tell him he knew that was a lie and that he wasn't over me. I was about to tell him that I was still in love with him and that seeing him now looking so much older and most assured was turning me on completely and that I'd be willing to do anything to make it up to him.

And then *it* happened.

That bastard blip on the radar came over and got *my* kiss from Marco's lips. And it cut *so* badly.

I went home and for the first time? I cried my eyes out over Marco Del Rossi.

13

After crying for what seemed like eternity- Paige finally got home and came up to see what happened. She obviously knew Marco did *not* come back to my room for hot make-up sex since she dropped him off at *Tim's* house…

"He… kissed him right in front of me, which fine. I deserve that. But I've had a year without him. That's punishment enough."

"Well first thing you should do, Hon, is stop crying about it like a little pansy," she giggled and I shoved her. "You didn't think you'd be able to win him back by showing up one night at a club, did you? The word is persistence. He… says he's over it but he still refers to you as the Satan child, so it's doubtful he's completely over it."

"Yeah, so… what should I do?"

"Formulate Plan B. And when that fails, work on Plan C and when that fails, Plan D. You just… keep doing it. And when you get to Z? You start at the beginning. If you really want him, you're going to have to work for it."

"I really want him," I sighed. "It'd be easier if I didn't, but… I couldn't… I can't be with anyone but him, Paige. He's… Romeo to my Mercutio."

"Romeo and Mercutio weren't gay, Sweetie."

"Oh come on… they wore tights," I laughed and she left and I sat back to think about Plan B.

I needed him to know I meant business. That I wasn't going to give up because it was difficult.

I sat up all night thinking of my plans. I actually made a list and got up to Plan Q before I passed out from exhaustion.

When I woke up the next morning, I reread the list. Plan B was "the removal of the blip" and it had several phases. The first? Was getting Marco alone- not for anything sexy, but just… to tell him again that I wanted him back. The second was maybe catching him in the kitchen some time- cornering him somewhere so he'd remember what heat we had between us. Somewhere down the line came getting him to see my sexy body and remember how much better it is than Tim's could ever be.

So in order to get him alone I sent a text message. I just said "Morning, Marco. I miss you. Love Dylan."

I had no idea that it would be so effective.

When the doorbell rang, I went down to get it and to my surprise, it was Marco who answered the door.

"We are through! Over! So don't send me stupid little e-mails!" God he looked hot. And in SUCH denial.

"You came all the way to my place to tell me not to e-mail you?"

"Right," he stated and just stared at me. God his lips were… *are* so beautiful. I love listening to him talk. I love it. He always sounds so sexy.

"This is so not over. Not even close," I said, nearly giddy at the thought of having him back.

"Why now? Huh? What is with this stalker routine? What? You just happen to be home for the summer?!"

"You don't get it, do you?" I asked. "I'm home for the summer be*cause* of you." And for a second, it looked like he was getting it. "I still love you, Marco."

"Don't! Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't e-mail me. Don't- even *think* about me. Leave me alone."

He left and it hurt even more but Paige had pointed out that we never really talked after the thing with Eric- after the breakup. We *never* spoke and he never got to say things to me that he probably needed to say. I never got to say I'm sorry. I… he needed to be mad and he needed to direct it at me.

So I went back upstairs and looked over my newest plan- Plan Z. I had a solid 27 plans for winning him back. I just had to wait for the opportunities.

*AND* when I overheard (and by overhead I mean listened in) that Paige was having a couple friends over for a movie fiesta, I *knew* Marco would be one of them. It was a thing her and him would do- movie night. I used to join them and Marco and I would play with each other's fingers under a blanket. I wanted that again. Badly.

I was never more grateful to hear that practice was canceled and I decided to invite a couple people over. I needed to be here- maybe corner Marco in the kitchen when he came up for a refill of popcorn or something.

Then the doorbell rang and I heard her open it and I knew it was him. I had to think fast. I couldn't let opportunities pass by. I couldn't let him go downstairs with Tim so *Tim* could brush a hand over Marco's thigh. I couldn't let Marco put his arm around him because that would take him further from *me*. And that was unacceptable. So when they started heading for the basement, I did the only thing I could.

I ripped off my shirt. "Antwon, before you go, Man. Check out my tattoo!"

"Dude!" he said. "That's awesome."

And he looked. I knew he would. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. But he still wanted to go downstairs and I couldn't let that happen.

"Hockey practice is cancelled. Why don't you guys join me for a little poker? Texas Holdem?"

"No thanks. I think we're gonna pass on that one."

"I figure you'd wimp out." I always told him he was a bit of a pushover sometimes.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Marco. Who are you kidding? You're always playing it safe. You're way too chicken to *gamble*."

Yes. It was a cheap shot, but goading someone into something usually works and I knew it'd work on Marco 'cause it's how I got him to do a *lot* of things while we were dating.

"Really?" he asked and the next thing I knew, he was sitting. "What's the buy in?"

Yes. I'd never known anyone like I knew Marco Del Rossi.

14

So we played poker. A very intense game of poker because let's face it- it felt like I was playing for the very right to be with him- for the right to hold him again and run my tongue down his spine.

And the pesky bug didn't even… didn't even catch on that I was going to be stealing his boyfriend from him one day- maybe in the near future. He just kept organizing the damn chips like a moron. I mean… fine. That's something Marco would do for *me* if he'd been sitting with *me*. But… Tim was being an idiot- watching me goad his boyfriend into being with me- into… into *some*thing.

"See your two and I raise four," I state.

"See you back."

I glanced down- stupid Tim. "By raising ten?"

"Tim!"

"I'm sorry. They were all messy," he said. He was… way too gay for Marco. That wasn't what attracted Marco. You couldn't have two girly guys in a relationship. It just didn't work.

"Bet's on the table," I said, reaching out.

I had a *shitty* hand but… I looked at him and said, "All in." I was too- all in to get him back.

I watched his hand as he slide the chips across the table and I remembered those beautiful hands- how they would wrap around my cock and… squeeze it soo good. I missed those hands. I wanted them back.

"You sure you want to do that Del Rossi? Pretty reckless."

"That's what being reckless is all about, my friend. Just doing, not thinking. Hurting whoever you want in the process."

It just… ticked me off. I know it was stupid and wrong that it did since I did hurt him, but… I flung the chips and cards at him. "What the hell is your problem? What do you want?"

"I want to know why you hurt me! How you… how you could just *hurt* me like that, Dylan!"

I hurt for him in that moment. I… I knew I'd been bad. I knew I'd done wrong and hurt him but I hadn't had to see it on his face. I hadn't had to see that a year later, it was *still* hurting him deeply.

"I-" I had no excuse. "I don't know, but I've apologized and I've tried to make things better. So I'm not gonna keep beating myself up just because you're stuck."

"Oh I'm not stuck!"

"You are. Date Tim. Play it safe. Date a bunch of guys. That doesn't change the fact that everything comes down to you and me. Everything." I hoped that got my point across. And I was hoping it would extract *Tim* from my life forever.

Then I walked away because I had to. I had to leave because he had to go and tell Tim that I wasn't wrong. I was fairly certain I'd done it- gotten Tim gone. Maybe not gotten Marco back, but I'd gotten closer to that goal.

I was pretty happy with that too. Even if he didn't break it off with Tim, he certainly wouldn't be kissing him or doing anything *else* to him.

I thought about emailing him too- texting him. But I didn't want to over do it either- I didn't want him SOO angry at me. I decided to leave it alone for a couple days- let him process the information.

But it didn't take two days. It didn't even take one. It took twelve hours before I received a message in the morning: "Before school". I glanced at the clock and realized he'd only given me about fifteen minutes to get ready but I did it. I got dressed so quick and brushed my teeth and flew out the door. I didn't want to be late. I didn't want him to think I didn't show.

I pulled up in front of the school and saw him walking- looking gorgeous and beautiful. I… god, could he *get* any hotter?

I got out and he didn't say anything and he was looking… he was scaring me. He looked really serious. Like… he looked like maybe he was going to tell me he couldn't forgive me. That yes- maybe he was still stuck on me but that he couldn't be with me again. I was terrified.

"Dylan… if you ever hurt me again, I-"

Oh god. He… it wasn't the kiss off speech?

"I won't," I said quickly. "Hey, even idiots grow up at some point. I'm a slob. Okay? I'm reckless and I'm your exact opposite, but you mean everything to me, Marco. And I want another chance."

There. No games. No tricks. Honesty.

"Uh, you're such a jerk," he said.

"What?! What, I-"

And the next thing I knew his lips were on mine and he was kissing me. *He* was kissing *me*. I had him back. I had him back. He was MINE! Again.

I swore to myself in that moment that I would *never* again risk Marco Del Rossi.

15

After that kiss and we pulled away? I wanted to push him down on the car and have my wicked way with him right there- for all to see. Surely they didn't understand just how beautiful he was.

"I… have class… cleaning out lockers and last day stuff- graduation rehearsal," he whispered softly.

"Yeah, I… know," I nodded.

"Shouldn't take more than a couple hours. Pick me up?"

"Definitely," I answered and kissed him softly once more. "Couple hours."

And it was the LONGEST two hours of my entire existence. I… after five minutes or so I started thinking maybe it was a dream and I was still waiting for him to show up. And then I saw Tim walk by and he looked pretty pissed with me, so I thought maybe it had been real. I wasn't… I figured I should at least change- look really nice. I thought maybe a picnic or something… get him some place where we could talk- alone and not be interrupted.

So I took the two hours to throw a blanket in my trunk and then I stopped at the store and picked up his favorite foods and I stopped at a coffee shop and picked him up his favorite as well. By the time I got back to the school? It had only been an hour. So I just sat.

And I waited.

And I waited.

And I ended up waiting a good hour and forty-five minutes before he came running down the front steps of the school, Paige in tow. Great. Paige.

I mean she's my sister, yay, but…

"HII!" she grinned happily as she came running behind him. "I think I just rocked out on my *last* final, thank you very much. Physics is *no* match for Paige Michalchuk- future Banting extraordinaire. *And*," she said as she got in the back and he got in the front, "I just heard the extraordinarily good news that my little meddling and match matching is forgiven from one of my bestest friends and he's well on his way to making my stupid older brother much less pouty."

"I'm not stupid!" I say. "And I'm not pouty and you can walk for all I care if you're going to call me names."

"Relax, Hon. I don't want to damper your 'back with Marco' day- I'm sure you still have stuff unresolved. I just need a ride back home."

So I drove and listened to her and him talking all the way home about graduation stuff and a summer party they wanted to have- at the beach. And I wanted to reach over and take his hand like I would have a year and a half before, but… I wasn't sure if I was allowed. So I didn't.

I pulled up to our house and she kissed his cheek and mine. "I'll tell Mom you're gone for dinner," she grinned and bounced inside.

And I sat for a second, unsure of what to do.

"You gonna drive or are we just gonna stare at your house for an hour?" he asked.

"Yeah… drive. I can… do that. Right," I nodded and backed out and started heading for… I guess the beach- where we first started talking. I thought it was appropriate and it was a good hour drive, so…

"Have you… been with anyone else?" he asked. Right- tough questions right off the bat. No time to warm up- no 'how was your year'- nope. Have you been with anyone else? No-nonsense Marco.

"No. I… well… dated, but not slept with. Dated around a little and one sort of serious boyfriend, but not slept with."

"Not even with Eric?"

"No. That… ended before it really began. It… Marco, over the past year I've been trying to figure out why I… *did* that."

"Cheated. The correct word is cheated."

"Right. Cheated. Why I cheated and I have no *clue*. Marco- I… have no idea where my mind was. It doesn't even make sense. I just… we weren't close like we had been. The distance… just pulled us apart a little and… I got swept up in the being… being gay thing. It's… you'll see next year when you're in college- it's like… I wasn't 'Homochuck' anymore- I was just Dylan."

"So that's the excuse? The reason?"

"No. I don't have either. I don't have the excuse or the reason. That's just… what was going on in my head. Stupid… I don't even know, Marco. I really don't. But I'm *sorry* and I've spent every second since trying to figure out how I could be so dumb as to let you walk away."

"Well that's nice to hear," he said- a bit sarcastically I think.

"I'm serious, Marco. I'm… I dated this guy- Preston for-"

"*Preston*?" he laughed.

"*Tim*?" I countered.

"Let's not talk about Tim- that's still open wound here. He… I really hurt him. It's not funny."

"Fine. Yes- Preston. He… we dated for a few months but I couldn't… he wanted to. He kept pushing for sex and I finally said yes and he did the music and candles and- I couldn't do it. I couldn't seal the deal because I just kept thinking 'he's not Marco'."

I look over when I stop at a stop sign and he's… he's getting it, I think.

"So not-Marco broke it off since he said I was clearly still hung up on my ex. That was in mid April and I started formulating my 'get back Marco' plan, which started with me signing up for Degrassi's summer hockey league so I'd have an excuse with my parents to be here and not be taking summer classes."

"So you're here the whole summer?"

"Until I have to go back to school. Then… I don't know. We'll work out the long distance thing- whatever we have to do."

"Why? I'm in… I'm… coming with you. Unless you're planning on it being hard to be together across campus."

"Really?!" I asked. "Paige… she didn't say you'd applied there. I figured it was in avoidance of me."

"My dad wanted me to apply there. So… and it's good since I'm getting almost a full ride because I'm a minority and all- first of my family to go to college."

"That's so great!" I said. I was… it made me beYOND happy. "Oh my god- that's so awesome, Marco! I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, I… a lot has been going on recently."

"Oh? Like… like what?"

"Well… like Tim. I… got him kicked out of his house actually because I convinced him to come out to his dad. And he stayed at my house- not… like…- but he found out *my* dad still didn't know. So I ended up telling him."

"Oh my god, Marco," I gasp. I didn't think he'd *ever* tell him. I thought it'd be like… 'hey, Dad- I'm getting married' and then he'd show up and see him next to another guy or something. "How'd he… take it?"

"He ignored it and walked away so I got up in the middle of the school play, looked him in the eye and said 'Dad, I'm gay' and he left. We haven't really talked about it since. He said he loved me but he couldn't know this part of me and that was that."

"Marco… I… I'm so sorry he… that's… I don't even know what to say."

"Mom thinks he'll learn to deal, but… maybe it's better this way. To just… ignore it. It's been working out okay."

"But still, that's…"

"It sucks. But at least I've been honest and… if he can't handle it then it's not my problem anymore. It's his."

"That's a good attitude to have," I nodded. "But I'm still so sorry he treats you like this."

"Well… on the upside, he's cut down his homophobic and offense jokes by about 90 percent."

"Well that's something," I agreed.

"I think it's acknowledgement- on some level- even though he still tells me social work is for fruity boys."

"We can have fun with fruit," I laughed a little and was grateful when he smiled. It meant… it meant maybe no sex for a while, but… there would be. He would forgive me.

"I suppose," he said as he looked over at me. "I… I missed you, Dylan. A lot."

"I missed you too. I… I'm just grateful I have another shot- to… to do this right. To do what I should have done, which was be a good boyfriend. Someone worthy of such a hot piece of ass."

"Dylan!" he said and shoved me a little. "You're-"

"I know- I'm such a jerk."

"Well that's what you are."

"I missed that daily reminder about my jerkiness. But seriously, you got… *hot* this past year. I mean… you were hot before and darn cute, but… the year did you *good*."

"I'm glad you think so. I tried my best to make you wanna eat your heart out."

"I'd gladly eat my heart out if it kept you looking this hot forever."

"Aww, that's sweet," he smiled softly and as I drove, I felt his hand slip inside mine.

I intertwined my fingers with his and was never more grateful for the touch of Marco Del Rossi.

16

"So… where exactly are we going?" he asked, resting his head against me.

"I thought we'd… take a trip back to the beginning. Where it all started- where I saw what your friends couldn't see and where I started watching your lips helplessly."

"Watching my lips, huh?" he asked and I felt his other hand over mine and his fingers between mine as well. "For what? Signs of an alien invasion?"

"No. Just… watching your mouth- since it's one of my favorite features of yours. So sexy… you had this water bottle you kept sipping from and I wanted to be the water bottle."

He laughed a little and I was so relieved that I could still make him laugh.

"Marco… I don't… I don't intend on ever letting you go this time. I… I don't wanna be with any other not-Marcos."

"I'm pretty sick of not-Dylans," he sighed softly and pulled my arm around him so he could slide next to me while I drove.

"How many not-Dylans were there?"

"Well… I had a couple dates. But I've been busy with student council and I've been volunteering at a local clinic. When I got back from my summer in Africa, I started volunteering in local schools and at the clinic- how to have safer sex… I've done a couple gay teen workshops and things- go to support meetings. It's… important work. That's why I picked social work."

"That's really amazing."

"Yeah, so besides that… I helped Tim out and we had a couple dates, actually *two* official dates and you ruined both of them."

"Sorry. I… couldn't have you going and falling for him or… attempting to. I had to win you back. So I couldn't let the thing with Tim go any further."

"Honestly? He wasn't my boyfriend until you showed up at the Dot to pick Paige up. Until then, we'd just been friends. I guess… I did use him. I do feel really bad about that."

"You'll… apologize… he'll understand. And he's younger anyway so it's possible you'll never see him again."

"That's mildly comforting," he laughed as I finally pulled into a parking space at the beach. "And this is all romantic and shit, but what are we gonna do here, Dylan? I'm hungry."

"And you think I'd forget to feed my hungry Italian man? I've seen the way you eat, Marco."

"Never not feed an Italian," he laughed. "That's what Ma always says."

"Well good, since I have the trunk full of all your favorites."

"Ooo… yum," he grinned as he hopped out and I followed. He opened the trunk and grabbed a bag of chips quickly to start eating. "When did you decide to do all this?" he asked as he looked through the bags, looking for stuff. Like it wouldn't be Marco approved or something- like it would have the really good deli meat that he likes for his sandwiches or his favorite soda or those wretched olives he has to put on *every*thing.

"Well you said two hours and it turned into nearly three, by the way, but… I went home and changed and swung by the store. Used the last of my money actually on it. So I'll have to beg off the parents or actually get a job, curses."

"Did you have a job this year?"

"Yeah- actually landed a gig working at the fitness center on campus- helping people figure out the machines and making sure they were doing it right."

"Watching half-naked guys sweat all day long?" he asked.

"I'm not saying there weren't definite perks," I smirked as I lifted the bags out of the car. "I brought a blanket… under these- yeah there."

"Well I have a job at the clinic this summer- I'm gonna be typing and filing and stuff… they said I could help with safe sex workshops and things if I wanted. And that's my last summer before college- kind of… lackluster. But Paige said we need to have a huge blow out, of course. Her answer to everything is a party."

"Might be nice for you to have a big thing with your friends."

"Yeah. And she's really pushing to have a formal promish type thing since Spin and Jimmy couldn't go because of not graduating and stuff. Might be nice for the whole gang to get together. And of course… tuxilicious Dylan is a bonus," he said as we laid the blanket out.

"You too, my friend."

I did feel awkward. I felt like if I said the wrong thing, he wouldn't stay with me. That every second was like an interview or something- that if I said or did something wrong, I would fail. I'd lose him. I didn't know how to shake that feeling and I didn't want to ask him if it was the truth because I didn't want confirmation.

"So… when'd you get the tattoo?"

"Oh- that was… a drunken mistake that happened on a dare after a hockey win. I went out with the team and someone dared us all to get tattoos or something. I… I don't know. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly when it happened, but it looks pretty good. I like it. But I'm glad I was drunk enough not to remember the pain."

"Can I… see it?" he asked and I nodded and I pulled my shirt up. And that's when I felt his hands- Marco hands sliding up my back- from my lower back up to my shoulder blades. I nearly died. "It's… sexy."

"Yeah?" I asked, my breath hitching when I felt his lips graze over it. "Shit, Marco. You're-"

"Turning you on?" he whispered before kissing the back of my neck slowly.

"Yessss," I nodded slowly. This… was a new side of him. A HUGE new side of him- he was so… self-assured. He hadn't had that a year previous.

"Good," he said and nipped my neck before pulling away.

I groaned and pulled my shirt back down. "You… did that on purpose. Is this…" I stopped myself. I didn't want to turn potential playful banter into anything more serious than that, but I was worried.

"What?"

"Is this my punishment? Torture? Teasing?"

"Dylan, I was just having fun."

"I just need the other shoe to drop so I'm ready, okay? Just… I don't wanna ignore the elephant in the room, Marco. Do you forgive me? *Can* you?"

He was quiet for a long time. I was on baited breath as he stared out across the water and he was so pensive and beautiful. I forgot how gorgeous his skin was and he was older then- his lips were… older.

My heart was in my throat as I waited. I… if he had to think that much, maybe he couldn't forgive me. I was afraid he'd say he wanted to be able to but he couldn't.

"Marco… you're *killing* me here," I whispered softly. "Please… if it's no, just… say it. Don't spare my feelings."

"You certainly didn't spare mine, did you?" he asked, looking at me. "That… *hurt*, Dylan. It… you tore my heart out and shattered it. I… I *needed* you that day. I *need*ed you and you rejected me for no good reason, is what you're telling me- for no *reason* other than stupidity. I… they wouldn't let me donate blood because I was gay- I ran more risk according to them. And I told the reporters there and they were going to run my story and I *needed* you."

"I know. I… there's nothing I can even *say*, Marco. I don't even know why I… I don't even have a reason."

"And what happens in a couple years? When you graduate? When you go off and get a job or something and start meeting other 'interesting' people? Huh? Gonna bail on me then too? When I've started planning a life with you? How am I supposed to just… trust this, Dylan? How do I know you're not gonna hurt me again? I couldn't… it's a year later and I'm *still* hurting because of it. And I know it's stupid because the chances of people staying with their high school sweethearts are like… 5% these days, but dammit," he said and kicked at the sand angrily. "What the hell do I do when you get bored again? Wait for a year before I go running back? That's not… I don't wanna live my life that way."

"Marco," I said as I got on my knees in front of him. I needed to make him understand. I needed to make him see that when I said 'all in' that I meant it.

"Marco, I don't *want* anyone else. I… it's a year later and all I can think about is being with you again. I… I dated, okay? I watched half naked guys workout for days and yeah, they were hot but they- *no* one compares to you, Marco. The way you make me feel… I've spent every second regretting letting you go. I'm not *going* to want anyone else. I know it'll take time- it'll take… I have to show that to you, but I don't want anyone else. Okay? I want a life with you."

I slid my hands into his as I spoke, "I wanna *be* with you. I wanna… get jobs and get married and have kids or not… whatever. I can't imagine doing those things with anyone else, Marco. You're… you're my best friend. I *miss* that. I miss my best friend. I just want him back- I want him in my life- *you* in my life, in my bed… forever."

There. I laid it out and waited for a second. Then two. Then three. Four. Five.

I felt like I would just *die*. If he shot me down, it would *end* me.

"*God*, you're such a jerk," he said before pulling my lips to his *again* that day and this time he pulled me on top of him and our lips were just *there* and his arms wrapped around me and I knew I'd found forgiveness from him.

He kissed me so deeply and it was completely *new*. It was Marco but he was… *Marco*.

I pulled away after a few long and wonderful minutes and kiss his neck slowly.

"Dylan," he said, pushing me away a little. "We're in public and I'm hungry."

"Right- hungry Italian man." I knew as soon as he said 'I'm hungry' I should pull away because I have learned to *never* get between Marco and food.

God I couldn't stop thinking about the new Marco. What would it be like to *be* with him? If his kisses were different, what else would be? And what would be the same?

"You're looking at me weird."

"I'm just looking," I responded as I sat beside him and pulled out the bread for his sandwich.

"Yeah, 'cause you're a jerk. Make me play *poker* and then say all these outrageously wonderful and perfect things…"

"I mean every word, Sweet Marco. Every syllable."

"I… I know. I'm glad you're ready to admit it."

"I am. Ready to shout it from the rooftops," I told him and watched as he meticulously layered his sandwich. "Just… tell me anything you need from me, okay?"

"I… I got my apology. I got… I don't know, Dylan. I just need you- need us… time. I… couldn't get over it in a year okay and Tim was pretty cute. So… I just need time to process and have you around again."

"Well I've got time for you. I've got all the time in the world."

And that was true. I'd never wanted to spend all my time on anyone else except Marco Del Rossi.

17

"So, okay, I think my favorite movie from this past year was probably… and don't laugh, but Step Up. I just… he's hot and I like the dancing."

He looked so happy once he was fed, which was good. (Two sandwiches and a bag of chips later.)

"No judging here, nothing but love," I grinned. "So… those were some of your happier moments from the year. What about the worst? And let's not count the day of Dylan's extreme stupidity."

"Okay, discounting the DODES, I'd say it was the attack friendship club made on me."

"Friendship club?"

"An extremely Christian Christian group started up at school. I was organizing a safe sex seminar where we'd give out condoms and such and they showed up to yell abstinence, which would have been fine if they'd not been asses about it. So I told them to go- that we just want to keep the people having sex safe from disease. I said just leave us alone and go to church and the head of the group says to me something like 'and where do you go'. So I pulled out my cross and said I go every Sunday and he said 'and they let you in'? I asked what that was supposed to mean and he said 'you know exactly what it means, Homo'. So I told him to go to Hell and he said 'I'll see you there, Fag'."

"Marco…"

"No, it's fine. Cause then I turned around and clocked him one."

"Are you serious?!" I asked, shocked. My little Marco? My Sweet Baby Marco? Punching someone? For saying that? That… was *not* the Marco I knew. "I… I don't know what to say."

"Well he pissed me off," he shrugged.

"Marco, I… god, you've changed so much," I told him.

"Yeah, I… lost my crutch. I hadda stand on my own two feet and realize I had some balls of my own, ya know?"

"I like your balls," I smirked and he grinned.

"I remember."

"So what happened then?"

"Not much. He avoided me and I avoided him. Blah blah. Otherwise the last year was basically okay. Prom was a blast. Graduation will be necessary."

"Did you… go with Tim? To prom?"

"No. With Ellie. She wasn't going to go because she didn't have a date, so I told her she had to go and I thought it was a nice fitting, since I came out to her first and all… she's been a great friend. So now you- what about your best and worst?"

"Well… coach says junior and senior year- the pro scouts start coming. He said if I keep my training up, I may be able to play pro if I wanted."

"A professional hockey team?! Dylan, that's awesome!"

"Yeah… I gotta think. I mean… I do love hockey, but… it would take me away from you- plus traveling and whatnot. I don't know. I wanna focus on school first."

"But still… how hot would you look allll- *pro*?"

"I really missed this," I confessed softly. "Us just… just *talk*ing. I've missed a lot of things about you but especially talking."

"Things have been… but they'll be better now- once we work through things- deal with things. But I don't… hate you, Dylan. I don't… you say you regret it and it only happened once and I believe you."

"Actually, it… to be honest? It happened *twice*. And I really was planning on telling you after the blood drive was over."

"*Twice*?"

"Kissing- just kissing, but it happened once over the weekend with Eric and then again that day."

I watched as he processed and took a deep breath. "Okay. It's… it's still… over and we've dealt with or we're dealing with, right?"

"Right," I nodded.

"So I don't wanna spend months tip-toeing around this though. Let's move past it. You were an idiot. You've… Paige has been telling me how miserable you've been… that you are… and the look on your face when I kissed Tim in the club was pretty… gratifying. So can we move past it?"

"*God* yes," I agreed, relieved he wasn't going to punish me for it for months. "*Please* yes."

"Good," he nodded. "Then you won't mind if I do *this*!" And with that? He threw an entire glass of water at my face and look off running.

"Oh I'm *so* going to get you for that Del Rossi!" I yelled and took after him.

And that's… it was the best afternoon. I spent twenty minutes chasing him down the beach before I caught him and threw him in the water and he pulled me in after him. We laughed and played and had *fun*. I'd missed that fun so much and it was like nothing had changed.

Then we spent a good hour laying on the blanket next to each other, just holding hands and watching the clouds rolling by. It was great. He was *mine* again. I finally had Marco back.

"It's… getting dusk."

"Yeah and I didn't tell Ma I wouldn't be home for dinner so I should get my cell from the car and call. She'll be happy to see you, I think. I mean… I think she desperately wants me with someone."

"Why's that?'

"Well she was always trying to fix me up with ugly fat girls. Now she's trying to fix me up with all their ugly brothers." I laughed and he did too. "I'm serious. She sits there and is like- is he gay? Is he gay? Is he gay? I'm like- Ma, I don't use the gay-dar *all* the time."

"What about your dad?"

"He's stopped telling me how it should be 'girls, girls, girls'. Now we talk about school and the business and college and Paige and Jimmy… the safe things. The non-gay things."

"Well… it's something. It's… always harder on the fathers, I think. Fathers or brothers- male relatives."

"Yeah, I know that for sure- any male friends. I wonder if it's the same for lesbians when they tell their women friends."

"I don't know. I'm not a lesbian," I told him with a grin.

"Well damn, here all this time I've been with you 'cause I thought you were."

I laughed with him as we packed the stuff back in the car and I listened as he called his mom and said he was out and that he'd be home in an hour or so.

"So…" he hung up."You're obviously going to graduation, right? For Paige?"

"And for you, of course, Mr. Valedictorian," I nodded. "Yeah- Mom and Dad have a ticket for me."

"God, I'm so nervous about my speech!" he confessed quietly and took my hand in his. He held it between both his hands, stroking my fingers softly while drawing random patterns on my palm It was comforting and sexy all at the same time. "I'm excited but I'm… terrified I'm gonna mess it up. I won't say something right. I've been practicing but I don't want to practice *too* much."

"I know you're going to do great, Marco. You're the smartest person I've ever known. You'll do fine. Just remember to breathe."

"I just hope I don't vomit or something."

"You won't- calm cool and collected. Just breathe."

"Easy for you to say, you just have to sit and watch."

For the rest of the drive, we talked about random things that didn't really make any difference- like that first summer when we were new- before we were lovers. Before I messed everything up and before life tore us apart. But I knew on that ride home what he truly meant to me- what it meant to have someone mean *everything* to you. Because he did.

When I pulled up in front of his house, I didn't want to let him go. He leaned over and I kissed him hungrily. I didn't want him to leave. "I'm…" he started pulling away and I pulled him back.

"What, Baby?" he asked, touching my face softly and I wanted to cry like an infant and confess my sins- every last one- down to stealing a candy bar when I was five.

"I'm afraid… I don't want you to go. I'm afraid I'll wake up and this will be some amazing dream or something…"

"Well here," he smiled and took my arm. He pushed up a sleeve and grabbed a pen from the dash and wrote 'Marco loves Dylan' on my arm and then drew a heart around it. Then he pressed his lips to it and kissed me. "Now you have proof."

"You're so sweet, Marco. My sweet Marco." I kissed him once more.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. Ma is holding dinner for me."

"So… I'll see you tomorrow then? Graduation?"

"Absolutely," he nodded.

Before he got out, I caught his hand. "So… am I allowed to email and text you now?"

He smiled softly. "I suppose. You can even think about me too."

"You're so generous," I said before he ran inside his house and I just sat for a few minutes before I could drive away.

I got home and filled Paige in on everything- on how I was pretty sure me and Marco were back on track- maybe a little groveling or something before we were *back* back, but…

Then I headed up to my room and watched some TV but couldn't get Marco out of my mind. I took a shower and thought about Marco as well- a little *too* much quite frankly. But… I needed the release.

Then I sent him a text but I wasn't sure if he was doing things with his parents for graduation. I didn't want to intrude on things he'd already had planned. So I crawled into bed and ran my fingers over my arm where it said 'Marco loves Dylan'.

And Dylan had certainly never loved anyone like he did Marco Del Rossi.

18

I woke to the feel of someone in my- "HE-" I started to call out and scream for help when a mouth sought out mine- covered it completely- a familiar mouth. A *Marco* mouth.

"Shh," he whispered. "It's just me."

"What… are you doing here?" I whispered back. When I glanced at the clock I saw it was one in the morning. I'd been asleep for a couple hours.

"This," he replied and covered my mouth with his again and I felt his hands slide down my bare chest. Oh god- he came over for this? To *be* with me? My prayers were answered. There is a God and he doesn't mind us 'queers'.

He began kissing me. Not me kissing him- *he* kissed *me*. Hungrily and demandingly.

My Marco had certainly grown up.

He kissed me hungrily, harshly often too, as his hands moved over my body- my chest and arms.

"I missed you," I confessed softly. "Your body…"

"Shh." He silenced me with another kiss and I started pulling at his shirt. It needed to be off. We needed to be skin on skin again. I tossed it aside once it was off and it occurred to me that my door wasn't locked and I hoped no one would wake up and come looking for me for some reason. But when he started kissing my neck? I no longer cared.

I ran my fingers through his hair and it was considerably longer and fuller and way softer than I ever remembered. "God, Marco. Please…" I was still unsure if he'd come for sex or just kissing or maybe he hadn't decided?

Then he pressed his body close to mine and I could feel his desire- feel that he'd taken his pants off already before climbing into bed with me. How I longed to be inside him again!

Little did I know what was in store.

I felt his hands slide down, grazing my abdomen lightly and making me groan- making my stomach flutter- like it does when you go to the doctor and someone weird is touching you. He made me flutter.

I started rolling slowly over so I could kiss him and touch him and reach for a condom but he pushed me back. *He* pushed me back and kissed me more and the next thing I knew was that his hands were around my cock, inside my pants. I groaned as he rubbed me and stroked me like he always knew how to do and it was in the moonlight that I was able to see how his body had changed. He'd… been working out a bit. He was broader- fuller- more masculine and defined.

It was thrilling.

I couldn't wait to be inside him- to feel how an older Marco would react to me.

He got me *so* hard and I knew he was as well but I wrapped my hands around him anyway and watched as he groaned. "Dylann," he whimpered just a bit- like he had that first night when we were making-out.

"I got you, Sweet Marco. I'll take care of you," I whispered back before starting to roll us over. I needed to get in him. I needed to feel him around me and know he forgave me for sure. For real. I needed to know his body again and know it was still mine.

But he pushed me back again and… I don't know exactly how he did it but he pinned me down- holding my wrists in his hands and his feet locked over my legs. "This isn't for you, Dylan," he said, a bit harshly. "This is for *me*."

Then he kissed me- almost punishing. It… turned me *on*.

And it must have confused me or something because the next thing I knew, I was laying on my stomach and his tongue was sliding down my spine and his fingers were pressing inside me. When was there lube? I… I didn't remember or didn't care.

My Marco's fingers were inside me, making me buck against the bed and back against him. I wrapped my hands up in the sheets and bit the pillow as he opened me- stretched me- prepared me for… for *him*. For the first time he'd be inside *me*.

Never in my wildest dreams could I have pictured him doing this so… brazenly and not at all timidly.

It turned me on more and I was filled with excitement when I felt him straddle my hips and press himself against me. And then the *most* surprising thing of the night thus far happened. He grabbed my hair and turned my head. "If you *ever* hurt me again, Dylan, I *will* leave and never look back. You got that?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes."

Then he pushed inside me, slowly at first. I groaned and whimpered his name and he started moving his hips, moving inside me. I'd never felt anything so exquisitely wonderful in my entire life.

"You are *mine*," he whispered and bit my neck softly. "Mine. Not for anyone else."

I accepted my punishment gladly in fact. He felt incredible and it was Marco and not. It was eye opening. It was everything I'd needed from him a year previous. Something he wasn't ready to be- not with me still there. He wouldn't have been able to become *this* Marco. As painful as it was, our separation had been good- for both of us.

"Say it," he said and grabbed my hair again, rougher. It hurt. "*Say* it."

"Yours," I said, catching on to his game- only it wasn't a game. It was a statement. He didn't *need* me anymore. He *chose* me. And that meant he could *un*choose me. "I'm yours, Marco, Sweet Marco."

He didn't say anything else that night. All he did was move and make me whimper and groan. He kept his hold on my hair though and it stung and excited me too. I'd never felt *owned* until that night. I'd always felt Marco was mine but I'd never felt the opposite and perhaps that's why I had strayed.

But that night- in the darkness and quiet of my room- he made me his.

He came after what seemed like hours and I, who had started jerking myself off when he hadn't shown the inclination to do it, came as well.

I must have passed out because when I opened my eyes next, it was morning and I was alone.

I wondered for a minute if I'd dreamt the whole experience, but I knew what I felt in myself- I'd definitely had Marco inside me. I wiped my eyes a bit as I pulled myself up and looked around for him, instead finding a note, handwritten on the night table.

Dylan, As much as I'd love to stay and wake up with you, I snuck out of the house and I need to be there in the morning. I'd rather not ruin graduation day for myself or Pa by bringing up the whole gay issue. Please forgive me- for everything. I'll see you this afternoon. Much Love, Marco

That made me smile and I texted him my love back and got up to shower.

And as I showered, there was never a second when I stopped thinking about Marco Del Rossi.

19

When Paige asked what happened with Marco after I dropped her off, I told her we went to the beach and just talked- hung out. She asked if we hooked up because she's a nosy little sister, but I told her no. What happened in my room- that was private- between him and me. It was a very private experience. And while I was sure that there would be hundreds of other times where Marco was inside me- that time would always be separate and private from the rest.

She was happy we were together and I watched him give his speech and walk across stage and he looked *so* confident. He didn't stumble at *all*. He just looked completely calm and collected and very… complete.

Afterwards, I didn't approach him alone. I waited until Paige was around so I could go and hug Paige and her other friends and then Marco. He hugged me back but he seemed… for what we had shared the day prior with talking and reconnecting- he seemed a bit distant. Like… just distant. He didn't really look me in the eye for very long. Had he changed his mind? I was confused; I was worried.

But of course I couldn't get him alone since they were all taking pictures and my darling sister Paige made sure that in a picture of me and her and Marco, that Marco was in the middle of us. A few days later, I found that she'd told Mom to focus on me and Marco so when the pictures came back, Paige cut herself off the picture and framed the rest for me to keep in my room.

I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on with him.

After all the parents were satisfied and pictures had been taken, Paige said they all needed to go out for food. Parents took robes and hats and other things unneeded for teenage carnage and we piled into cars. Paige and Alex and Marco with me so I couldn't talk to him then either. Though I was more alarmed when he jumped in the back seat with Alex, instead of in the front with me. He told Paige to sit with me.

I was starting to get tons freaked out.

They of course wanted to go the Dot, which I thought was stupid since it was two minutes from the school and why did we have to drive? So I was relieved that when we got there, Alex said 'why don't we go somewhere fun'?

The beach was decided upon so we drove to houses to stock up on supplies for an afternoon of celebration. We dropped him at his house so he could get stuff and I headed to our house.

"Did… did Marco say anything to you, Paige?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like… he's just… he seems off- like he's avoiding me or something. I thought we worked things out."

"He hasn't said anything to me, Hon," she shrugged.

We got back to our house and I ran upstairs to get my swimming trunks and change to beach clothes. I grabbed some towels and a blanket and I sat and I called him.

"Hey, what's up?" he answered.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm graduated!"

"Are you… are *we* okay?"

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"You're just… acting weird."

"Dylan, I'm fine. I gotta go get some stuff together, okay?" And then he hung up on me.

My worry continued to grow infinitesimally as I waited for Paige and Alex and Ellie and Jimmy and Spinner and Ashley- everyone was piling into our van and Spinner's car. Then we grabbed Marco and Alex offered to move in back so he could sit with me but he said 'don't bother' and jumped in back.

I drove and they all talked and I asked a few questions to him but not *to* him and he didn't respond *or* look at me in the rearview mirror.

By the time we got to the beach? I was PANICKED.

I tried to get him to hang back with me at the car but he was the first out and the first to go ahead to scout out a place to get Jimmy settled.

"Paige, what the *hell* is going on?" I asked, pulling her aside. "Can you *please*… I… I don't know what happened between last night and now, please."

"You said he wrote that thing on your arm. I'm sure you're just making something out of nothing, Hon."

"Paige, no- you… you don't understand. Something is *wrong* or *off*. There's…" I couldn't talk to her. So I stormed toward where he was standing with Spinner and Ellie. "Marco, we have to talk. *Now*."

"I'm with my friends," he said.

"Marco, what the hell is WRONG?! What did I do? I… you said you forgave me for what happened with Eric. You said it. You… and then now- we… *please* tell me what's wrong."

"I-" he stopped and looked around at everyone. "I'm… not… here," he said and pulled me back to the car and we waited until everyone had everything out of the car and were far away.

"Marco, please… what did I do? I thought… I thought we were okay now."

"It's about what *I* did," he said quiet. "I… I used you, Dylan."

The works sunk into my gut like a knife. Had this been a huge payback? Was this… Marco could *never* be that mean- never be *that* cruel, could he? To use me just to dump me? Break me?

"Marco, please," I whispered, wiping my eye a bit. "Tell me. I… please."

"What I did… last night… it was… I…"

I looked into his eyes and he was looking not at me. "Are you… ashamed?" I asked him. "Or embarrassed about what we did?"

"What *I* did," he corrected me.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed, I wasn't exactly complaining."

"I didn't even… I didn't even make you come," he whispered softly.

"Marco… Marco, Baby, look at me," I said and took his chin to make him look at me. "Marco, you didn't do anything wrong. Okay? I told you- anything you needed to get past it. Anything I could do to help you… and I meant it. If that's what you needed, then that's what I gave. It… was *really* hot and amazing and you have nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for, okay? I enjoyed every second of it and I hope to do it again in the very foreseeable future."

*That* made him look at me. "Really?"

"*Yes*, Sweet Marco," I told him and took his face gently in my hands. "Absolutely. Though… it'll be better when we wake up together one day. Otherwise, it was… perfect… fitting. Something very private we both shared, okay?"

He nodded but-

"I'm serious," I say and kiss him softly. "And you were *seriously* hot. I… never would have dreamed you'd do those things to me, Marco, say the things you said… it was incredible. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed.

"You *never* have to apologize or feel embarrassed for *any*thing you wanna do to my body, okay?"

"You're…"

"I know, I'm a jerk," I laughed.

"I was gonna go with great that time, but we'll use your word," he laughed back before kissing me.

And with that settled, we just had an amazing first day back together where everything was perfect and I hoped and prayed that nothing would ever go wrong again between myself and Marco Del Rossi.

20

"No, the funniest thing was when we stole Joey's car, remember?" Spinner laughed and Marco did too.

"Oh my god, my dad was *so* pissed about that. He went on and on about what a disappointment I was- we were," Marco laughed as he played with my fingers. See? These are the memories you hold on to- the ones that you don't think of all the time but you like to remember.

"You're a felon?" I asked him, slipping an arm around him as we sat in the lounge chair together. "You never told me that."

"Well I'm not proud of it, even though it was tons of fun. Until we got caught."

"Well my favorite time I think was when me and Spin actually thought we'd win that dance contest and then Marco creamed us," Jimmy laughed.

"I've got some great moves," Marco sighed. "I mean… warning for all the straight folk- when your kid knows all the lyrics to every Britney Spears song and does the dance moves flawlessly- I'm thinking it's time to call a spade a spade."

I laughed and kissed his neck softly as I looked around the room. Everyone had come back and we were all in our basement- friends together, couples near… but all just a happy band of we.

The way high school *should* end for people.

However all I wanted to do was drag Marco up to my bedroom and do nasty dreadfully wonderful things to him all night long. I wanted to be inside him and taste him and see if I could get him to grab my hair again. Yes- he was the more girly of us but I'd gladly be his bitch every once in a while.

It was… it was time to explore our relationship- as adults. Not as two kids or high school sweeties- but as real adult males in a loving and committed sexual relationship.

Instead, I was stuck sharing a lounge chair in a room full of my sister's friends just so I could have Marco practically in my lap and rubbing against me. And he knew it too. Talk about *me* being a jerk- he was worse. He knew he was rubbing against me because he just… I knew he knew what he was doing to me.

His friends remained clueless, except maybe Ellie- she's too perceptive. But she didn't say anything and I didn't either- I just kept my arms tight around him, keeping him exactly where I wanted him- nestled against my legs.

"Well I think one my fondest memories of high school was definitely and I love you, Spin, and I'm sorry, but my fondest memory was crashing your car into Dean's," Paige said. "That… was fun."

"Yeah, Dean's… been taken care of," I announced. She looked at me. "Not like that- what am I? Mafioso hitman? No, but… I know people. I didn't… needed to wait until you were in the right frame of mind, Paige, but about a year or so ago… me and a few friends were at breakfast in the cafeteria and he and a few frat buddies came over and called us faggots. So my friends were pretty pissed and I explained that he…"

"Raped me, Dylan. You can say it. I'm so over that fool," Paige said.

"I explained that he raped my little sister when she was a freshman in high school at some party, so… we got a little sweet revenge. Couldn't do anything to him in court but we did get him kicked out of his fraternity."

"What did you do, Baby?" Marco asked, looking up at me.

"Well… let's just say we followed him to a party and slipped him a roufie."

"WHAT?!" a few of them gasped.

"Relax- ew- totally didn't do that. *But* a couple of my friends stripped down and got him in bed and we took *several* very… revealing pictures and sent them to the frat house. He didn't even dare approach us to scream about it since it'd look like some kind of lover's spat."

"Oh my god, Dylan- that's why you are the *best*est big brother a girl could ever want!" Paige said as she ran over and hugged me around Marco. "That's… *thank* you. It's not the punishment he deserves, but…"

"But I'm fairly certain no girl has slept with him on campus since, so that's something," I informed them all. And that particular thing that I did in college- it gave me such incredible satisfaction to direct the photoshoot. It was… I watched Paige as she went through the whole thing and how it ended for her was completely unfair. He hurt my sister and I'd never been able to really make him pay- until then.

Marco tightened his hands over mine, which were resting on his stomach. I knew he was pleased too. Spinner nodded in approval as well.

"Baby, I didn't know you were raped," Alex said softly to Paige and that was… my sister all… lesbian didn't really work for me. So I was glad when Marco told me that she'd hooked up with Spinner. It was just all very high school yet I was fascinated by the twisted relationships between all the people in the room.

Buuut… "I have early practice tomorrow," I sighed. "Babe… I gotta turn in."

"Are you serious?" Marco asked.

"Summer hockey league. It's how I got the parents to agree to let me off the hook from a full time job."

"Gah, fine," he sighed and got up out of my lap. "Want me to walk you up to your room?"

"Nah, it's fine. Stay, have fun. We don't have to be in the same room twenty-four seven."

Even though I wanted nothing more than to plop him on my bed and play with him for hours. I wanted nothing more than to show him how much I missed him and how much I loved him.

"Well I'm gonna walk you up anyway," he said as he stood up and grabbed my hand. He pulled me upstairs with him- all the way up to my room.

We got into my room and he pushed me against the back of my door and started kissing me crazily. I moaned gently into his lips as I felt his hands pulling my shirt up.

"Marco… your friends… downstairs…"

"They'll understand," he whispered to me and I heard him lock the door. "Now make love to me, Dylan."

And my heart melted at that- it had been a *year* since I'd been able to hear those words. I *needed* to hear those words from him and then *do* those words with him.

I pulled him with me over to my bed and I did make love to him. We kissed and it was like coming home- the taste of his mouth was still the same, sweet and very Marco.

And when I finally got myself inside him? It was like being complete for the first time in a long long time. It was like being in him for the first time. Only this time? He was older and we both remembered how amazing we felt- what we meant to each other. It was incredible the way we moved - fell into an easy rhythm of touching and kissing- our hips moving effortlessly together.

I know he felt our connection too- we *both* did. There's no way we could deny how deep our connection was when we *both* locked fingers at the same exact moment- right before ecstasy hit us- we slid our hands into each other's and interlocked our fingers to hold each other tight as our orgasms took us over, me spilling into him and him spilling on my sheets.

And after… I lay over him for a second before moving off. He slid closer to me, draped his body over mine and I wrapped my arms around him.

"Mmm…" he purred, almost, "forgot how *good* full-frontal Dylan feels."

I laughed. I'm glad he hadn't forgot all of our special terms and secretive inside jokes- ones we'd whisper to each other and only *we* would know. Like when I'd get a text message in the middle of the last class of the day and it'd say 'FF'. And I'd find him waiting in my dorm, naked.

"I forgot how good bare-bottomed Marco feels," I almost giggled softly. "But what about your pals?"

"I'll see them soon enough. I've spent four years with them, they can wait a couple hours while I have hot sex with my boyfriend."

"Not your boyfriend, Marco," I told him. "I'm *yours*. Your man."

"Mine," he whispered and kissed my throat softly. "I like that. You're not Dylan- you're just mine."

"And you're *mine*."

He nodded and kissed my chest lightly.

I stroked his hair gently and felt his breath on my skin and it was simply perfection.

I'd never belonged to anyone in the way that I did to Marco Del Rossi.