touching a heart
The soul would have no rainbow, had the eye no tears --Unknown
i am still a little teary eyed.
when i got onto the computer today i had a card from Master waiting for me in my mailbox. it was a sweetest day card, and it was so unexpected, and so very lovely that my heart just filled up with love. i am so lucky.
i printed out the card and have re-read it a dozen times or more. i love Him so much. i had such a horrible, hard day yesterday, and i felt so alone and lost all night, without Him. and then today, it was as though everything were clean and fresh and new again with this sweet, wonderful card. He is truly so good to me.
His words reached deep into my heart, just reinforcing again the claim He has laid against this girl's soul. i had no call to be so upset yesterday, to be so lost. i am His, and that is all i need remember to find security and happiness.
i know that no matter what happens, whatever life throws at me, i am always safe within His grasp. it matters not what A/anyone else thinks of me, for Masters thoughts are the only ones that matter. that peace of mind is so wonderful, it is beyond expression.
i love Him with a love that goes beyond the normal expressions of love. i love Him more than i love life itself, more than i love anyone or anything, save God. i love Him in a way i didn't know it was possible to love. i lose myself in His eyes, in His voice, in Him. i am only and always His, and only and always what He desires me to be. it is the most extraordinary feeling.
in other news... i don't know if i have mentioned this before but i have been wearing my grandmother's wedding ring the last few days. it went to me when she died... and for more than a year now it has sat in my jewelry box, and i haven't worn it at all, though i have taken it out time to time to look at it, and at one point was carrying it around with me in my wallet (of all places). that was right after she had died, and i was feeling most the loss of her.
lately though, i have been thinking about her a lot. maybe it is because my other grandmother died, maybe because she has been gone a year now, i don't know. but i have been wearing her ring, and thinking a lot about her, and missing her. she was more a mother to me than my mother ever was. at least she never judged me, or tried to hurt me, she was never cruel to me, and though she would strike me in punishment when i deserved it, she never did so in anger or out of her own problems, like my mother would.
her ring is small and simple, and so old that it is almost worn through in the back. i worry a little that if i wear it too much, i will wear it through, but my grandmother wore it for more than 60 years, so i guess i am fairly safe.
i miss my grandfather, too, and knowing that he gave her this ring makes me feel close to him, too. i was thinking about him last night.. *soft smile* i was rummaging in my closet shelves for something or other and came across his hat, which i have had since he died. it's an old derby, a little battered, and one of my most prized possessions.
one day, i know i will have the strength of family again, the security of those that love you no matter what. i miss that so much.
be well and happy til next W/we meet --di.