blessed
§ There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from -- Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
every day i am only happier and more complete. i don't think i ever realized how wonderful life could be until i became Master's.
there is such light in my life now. every day i feel so fulfilled, so happy. everything i do, every moment of my day i think... i am His, i am owned. i feel so secure and so loved.
course, i am all happy and excited for other reasons, too. i brought home my new car today!!!! (WOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!) it is so much nicer than my old car that they can't even be compared. J. put new brakes on it and touched up the paint job, no charge. He is also gonna fix the lock on the back seat passenger side, cause it is a lil sticky, but isn't urgent to fix (no charge there either, *grin*)
it is a blue 1992 Ford Tempo, and it has all the toys *giggle*: power locks, cruise control, automatic seatbelts, am/fm cassette stereo, tilt wheel, etc etc. i am so excited! going from an 85 Chevy Celebrity that was falling apart (the roof leaked, the body was rusted through in places, the winshield washer fluid thingie didnt work, the right turn signal had to be turned on and off while waiting to turn cause if you turned it on it didn't blink, just glowed steadily. not to mention it didn't pass the emissions test, which is why it had to be sold!) to this car is like heaven!
i was so excited i was literally bouncing up and down in the car lot. i hugged my dad, i hugged J., i hugged my dad again, i hugged the office girl who drew up my paperwork. i think i would have hugged the car if i could have *giggles*.
today has been such a blessed blessed day. i also found a copy of "Where the Sidewalk Ends" in a bookstore. it was even on sale! so now, of course, it is mine! i still need a copy of "A Light in the Attic" and "The Giving Tree" and i will have a complete poetry shelf. ah, well, that isn't entirely true, i am always getting new books. (not to mention that i really really want a copy of Maya Angelou's one with Phenomenal Woman in it, but i can't remember the name of the volume, and another book called When I am an Old Woman I shall Wear Purple, can't remember the poets name, but i love her stuff)
i think i am addicted to books a lil. a bibliophile, tried and true. books are truly one of my passions.
books have always been such a big part of my life. they were my friends in a troubled childhood. they were my companions and my strength in an abusive relationship. when i was moving around a lot and didn't have a secure place to live, they were my home, somehting i could always pick up and find familiar ground in. i have a pretty large collection of books, though i lost a large number of 'em when i left M. i didn't take anything with me that He had bought me or that i had bought while i was with Him, because i wasn't working, so it was bought with His money and i just didn't feel like it was mine to take. that went even for gifts He gave me. i do have one necklace still, that i had forgotten about til i found it a few months ago in the bottom of a jewelry box. now of course, it is too late to return it to Him, though i could never wear it again. it isn't anything expensive... i'm not sure what to do with it. i tucked it back where it was and thought to myself... well, there it will stay, a reminder to me not to forget my past, to learn from it instead.
well, i've been all over the place today, haven't i? *giggle* there has just been a lot on my mind, i suppose. yesterday with Master has been on my mind a lot too. i dreamt of Him last night, several times actually. He truly does Master me everywhere, even in my dreams. more sign that He utterly and completely owns me, i think.
it is really amazing how wonderfully secure and complete i feel now..*grins* when s. icqed me tonight.. *laughs softly* well, let me just say that a couple of months ago, this would have had me in tears and tonight it didnt' even bother me at all. first she qed asking if Master was going to be on. then i answed, and she said oh.. and hi to you too. *laughs*. she then told me it was good He was going to be on tonight because "she needed some loving". *shakes head*. oh, well. i know she doesn't mean it the bad way. even if she did, i know i am Master's only one.
be well and happy til next W/we meet --di.