Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
. . . or: "When Fanboys Turn To Hate Speech.
. . and Why."
(Part Four)
Go ahead. Take a good, long look.
That's the back of the infamous "H.E.A.T. membership card."
These are (or so the trolls would have it, at any rate) the words of "fanaticism" and "extremists" which were, ultimately, the root, underlying rationale for several wearying, unprovoked years of "W.E.T.R.A.T.S." this and "s_cks d_ck" that and "pedophile" the other thing:
"As Green Lantern fans, it is our goal to encourage and advocate the return and exoneration of Hal Jordan, Green Lantern; the restoration of the Green Lantern legend; and the revival of the honorable Green Lantern Corps."
Wow.
Bet you all just feel so... soiled, now, after reading
the sordid likes of that, huh...? 
LIke I said, way back at the very beginning of this article:
"You probably have a favorite comics character, I'll betcha.
That's one of the coolest aspects of this weird little hobby, I think: that everyone has a comics character who just... works for them, on some visceral and inarticulate level. Some character who -- be it in baseline conceptualization; characterization; canon; hell, maybe even simply in costume design -- flips all the right switches, and spurs both loyalties and imagination toward fullest throttle.
Having a favorite comics character is a good thing. "
Let's talk about some more "good things," as long as we're on the subject.
Let's rinse the foul aftertaste of Troll Bouillabaisse from our respective
palates.
How many of you, out there, attended the San Diego Comics Convention in 1998?
[::counting hands::] Lesse, now... twelve... eighteen... thirty-two... eleventy-gazillion...
... okay. Just... y'know... checking, is all.
A whole lot of you, then. Good. Wonderful.
Now: how many of you enjoyed listening to and meeting Silver Age comics legend (and Hal Jordan creator) John Broome, while you were there...?
[::counting hands again::] Lesse, now... twelve... eighteen... thirty-two... eleventy-gazillion...
... cool.
You're welcome.
That's right: said appearance -- by a man who
hadn't attended a comics convention for well over a decade, mind you
-- was conceived of; organized; and paid for by the good, regular joes
of H.E.A.T.
Oh, God... I feel so... so dirty
H.E.A.T. arranged for said convention appearance -- which I certainly don't recall anyone connected with the San Diego Comics Convention, y'know, regarding as A Very Bad Thing -- in order that a few of today's younger, less studiedly anti-historical fans might enjoy the once-in-a-
lifetime thrill of meeting one of the primary architects of DC's much-
lauded Silver Age; that the good Mister Broome might entertain as well as enlighten, with his thoughts re: DC's ham-fisted conservatorship of one of their most iconic and worthwhile characters (and, oh, he most assuredly did do that)...
... and: so that a quiet, unassuming man in the twilight of his years -- a man who labored for decades>, mind you, with conscientiousness and craft to bring some small measure of happiness to you; and you; and, yeah, even YOU -- might receive the merest, most minuscule portion of gratitude and thanks, for having done so.
I tell you: it's the very
devil's work we're doing here, and nomistake.
"Fanatics." "Extremists."
Please.
Here's something else H.E.A.T. is up to; even as you're reading these very words, in fact.
You all remember Joe Linehan... right? The lovable mensch
of a fellah whose sagacious Tales From the Front column (as seen regularly
in the online comics fanzine GINCHY;
Unca Cheeks says: "Check it out.") served as the impetus for mine
own "The Operation Was a Miracle of Modern Science..."
CHEEKSRANT, of a few weeks ago? That Joe Linehan...?
Well: good ol' Joe is
also a proud, card- carrying member of member of H.E.A.T. (the little
dickens)... and -- without intending to embarrass the poor guy
beyond all possible hope of recovery -- I'd like to cue you all in on the nature
of his latest H.E.A.T.-related brainstorm.
Back during the Silver Age of comics, the fabled Green Lantern Corps served and protected a universe that was divided into 3600 equivalent "space sectors." This was one of the waycoolest aspects of the "Hal Jordan era" of DC Comics; and -- to any comics fan of either the Silver or Bronze Ages of comics (in general) and the Green Lantern Corps (in particular) -- the number "3600," therefore, carries with it a concomitant freighting of pleasant memories, as well as historical significance.
H.E.A.T. is currently organizing the donation, gratis, of three thousand and six hundred comic books to one (or more) area children's hospital(s).
This is so laudable and worthwhile a goal, in my estimation -- electing to spread the four-color "gospel" (as it were) to young children suffering from malady or infirmity; kids (as we once were, you and I) who would positively thrill to be on the receiving end (for once) of a little simple human kindness, and consideration
... that your normally crusty and irascible ol' Unca Cheeks --right here; right now; in full public view -- hereby pledges, in turn, to contribute a bare minimum of THREE HUNDRED COMIC BOOKS to the group "kitty"...
... and, furthermore: I encourage anyone who holds, similarly, such principles to contribute a few of their own comics towards this worthiest of causes, as well.
(... and that goes for you, too, Mr. "He was a drunk pedophile";
and you, Mr. "I told you. I troll. Yes, I take pleasure
in your misfortune"; and any other of H.E.A.T.s mean-spirited detractors,
by the way; the same noxious, noisome lot who continually prattle on and
wearisomely on about how "maybe you guys should just find a nice
charity to spend your 'free time' on," in other words. Gentlemen
-- and I accord you the designation,
Anyone of a similarly philanthropic or kind-hearted bent is welcome to contact either Joe, himself [AirWaveIII@aol.com] or Unca Cheeks [CheeksMite@aol.com], for further details.
I genuinely believe there may just be enough of us, out here -- we comic book fans, I mean -- who most assuredly do not "take pleasure" in the "misfortune" of others to make just a wee, small difference, in this one regard.
At any rate: it's certainly lovely to think so, isn't it...?
"Anti-H.E.A.T."; "Broome Was a Hack"; "Emerald Has-Been";"Hal and H.E.A.T. Are Stupid"; "H.E.A.T. Sux"; "Hey, H.E.A.T. Idiots!"; "Men Are From Marz; Women Are In H.E.A.T."; "A Message To H.E.A.T. -- BITE ME!"; "To All You H.E.A..T. Whiners"; "To H.E.A.T. -- Please DIE!"; "Why It Is So EEasy and Fun To Make Fun of H.E.A.T."; "You Realize How Idiotic H.E.A.T. Is?"; etc., etc.
-- an extremely light (but -- sadly -- representative)
sampling of message board "thread" titles
initiated by H.E.A.T.s "peaceable, fun-loving"
opponents, in their never-ending quest to foster,
in their own words, "an ongoing atmosphere of
civility and rationality on the GREEN LANTERN
message board." Believe it or not.
For that matter: now that you've had the opportunity to gander and gawk at where the good guys of H.E.A.T. are comin' from; and where our "peaceable, fun-loving," ummm, counterparts' heads are at, by documented way of comparison...
... anyone else out there interested in honoring the memory of a fellah by the name of "Hal Jordan" -- a true, accept-no-substitutes hero of the much-missed Silver Age of comics; a guy who (I'm reasonably certain) did not "take pleasure" from the "misfortunes" of his fellow men, and was emblematic of a (sadly) all-but-vanished ethical and storytelling world view --
-- and, incidentally, interested in taking part in the occasional Doing of Good Deeds; both within the confines of the comics community (e.g., the John Broome convention appearance) and without (The "3600 Project") --
-- well: why not give one of our reigning H.E.A.T. honchos a quick e-mail howdy-do, and getting to know our organization a little bit better, first-hand?
ToyMaster@aol.com; RocketMP@aol.com; Ducklord@aol.com; RMorris306@aol.com; LBMGMD@aol.com; WmBrackeen@aol.com; CaanKoh@aol.com...
... well... there's a whole lot of us, all right?
Pick one at random.
It's a downright swell bunch of folks. You'll like 'em...
... and: you'll like what they're all about, with this "Hal's Emerald Advancement Team" business.
... and that, ladies and gentlemen... is the honest and for-real truth.
"Though Truth and Falsehood be
Near twins, yet Truth a little elder is."
-- John Donne; Satire 3; 1635
[For the men and women of Hal's Emerald Advancement Team... who've put up with no little amount of pig-ignorance and folderol, of late]
"When In Doubt: Tell the Truth": PAGE
ONE
"MORE COMIC BOOKS," YOU SAY...?
The DC Comics Sub-Directory
The Marvel Comics Sub-Directory
The Miscellaneous Comics Sub-Directory
The "Gotta Find That DC Character" Menu
The "Gotta Find That Marvel/Miscellaneous
Character" Menu