Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
. . . or: "When Fanboys Turn To Hate Speech.
. . and Why."
(Part Three)
Subject: Re: [withheld]
Date: Thu, Feb 12, 1998 15:25 EST
From: [name withheld]
Message-id: <19980212202501.PAA24086@ladder03.news.aol.com>
No one here has ever called Hal Jordan or his fans or any of his past writers a "pederast" or a "child molester." That is a sick lie that your bunch came up with, Harry!
Subject: Re: [withheld]
Date: Wed, Mar 18, 1998 00:35 EST
From: [name withheld]
Message-id: <1998031805353600.AAA03101@ladder03.news.aol.com>
he was a drunk pedophile.
Subject: Re: [withheld]
Date: Sat, Nov 7, 1998 06:13 EST
From: [name withheld]
Message-id: <19981107061316.28160.00000576@ng89.aol.com>
How about a Murdering, Child Molesting Green Lantern psychopath folder for Hal and a regular Green Lantern one for Kyle?
Subject: [withheld]
Date: Thu, Aug 13, 1998 13:49 EDT
From: [name withheld]
Message-id: <1998081317493700.NAA03728@ladder03.news.aol.com>
But then again, I've read that pedophiles often have all sorts of varieties of children's Wonderful Toys at their houses, so that when they pick up thier dates at the local park, they can have something to have in common with them when trying to, you know, do what Hal and Arisia did. Maybe some folks who argue this one to death just plain have no problem with what happened, so they'll stick up for it?
Subject: [withheld]
Date: Thu, Nov 27, 1997 03:00 EST
From: [name withheld]
Message-id: <board-a-folder-001f7257-msg-001fd7fd-at-34882e3a@aol.com>
{5. Return and exoneration of Hal Jordan, Green Lantern.}
Child molestor, murderer [...] Doesn't deserve return or exhoneration. In my eyes, death was too good for that bastard.
Well: somebody's "bunch" sure came up with one king-hell sized
woolly mammoth of "a sick lie," at any rate... as the message board postings
above clearly detail. 
"Truth is on the march; nothing can stop it now."
-- Emile Zola; J'accuse, Aurore; 1898
It all started when two of the GREEN LANTERN message board's more persistently objectionable and meretricious posters -- you've already encountered their online "handiwork" more than once, whilst reading this article -- sought to advance the obnoxious notion that former "Green Lantern" was (as stated, above): "a drunk [sic] pedophile"; a "murdering, child molesting psychopath"; and a "child molestor" [sic].
The putative "basis" for this knock-kneed assertion was their intentional and obdurate misstating of the nature of the relationship between Hal Jordan and the alien "Green Lantern" known as Arisia.
For those of you who might be unaware of the particulars in this auctorial instance... a quick recap, culled from the actual, printed canon itself (as opposed to lewd inference):
Arisia (along with several other extra-terrestrial members of the intergalactic Green Lantern Corps) relocates to the planet Earth. Unlike her alien comrades, however... she happens to fall madly, passionately in love with Hal Jordan.
As explicated with conscientiousness and craft by (then-)scribe Steve Englehart, the startled Hal (initially) resists Arisia's advances, believing her to be (due to her somewhat "elfin" appearance) a child of fourteen.
(In other words: he displays precisely the opposite reaction
one would reasonably expect of a "child molester" or "pedophile." I'm
just sayin'...)
The distaff Lantern, however, swiftly corrects him in this erroneous (if understandable) "terra-centric" assumption. "Graxos IV [Arisia's homeworld] circles its sun twice as often as Earth! That makes me twenty-eight, really!"
For a supposed "pedophile," Hal's response seems rather an incomprehensible
one: he turns her down, anyway.
Several issues after that, however: Arisia's power ring alters her still further, morphing her (in both attitude and aspect) to match the studiedly provincial Hal's more "terra-centric" needs and expectations...
... and -- even then -- the Emerald Warrior manfully turns asidethe
alien's amorous advances! (This is a child molester...?!?)
(It is worth noting, at this juncture: confronted with the irrefutable evidence of the actual, printed comics themselves ["I'm twenty-eight, really"; "My mind matured, just like my body"; and the chivalrous Hal resolutely maintaining a strict policy of "hands off" throughout it all], the rabid "anti-Hal" brownshirts attempt to tart up their dime-store logic in a ten-dollar dress, by clumsily ratcheting down a gear and baldly asserting: "Welllllll... the power ring couldn't actually, y'know, do that!"
(This, of course, is arrant nonsense; and nonsense of a particularly disingenuous stripe, I might add. The entire series premise is that the "power rings" utilized by members of the Green Lantern Corps are -- in both essence and effect -- "magic wishing rings," limited in utilization and scope solely by the wills of their respective bearers. If you're willing to "buy into" the concept of a glowing piece of jewelry granting one the ability to rekindle suns, and warp the fabric of the space-time continuum...
(... well, then: physical and/or mental self-readjustment
is -- comparatively speaking -- a friggin' cakewalk.)
Eventually, however...
-- well after Arisia has become an "adult" (by both Terran "standards" as well as her equally-viable own), in other words --
-- Hal Jordan and Arisia do become a "couple."
Now... here's the question that's going to end up determining 50% of your final grade for this term:
IF... the woman you love was both an "adult" by her own species' standards ("I'm twenty-eight"), AND those of your own society, as well ("My mind matured, just like my body")...
... then how spiteful; obsessed; and agenda-driven would someone else have to be in order for them to continually trumpet you from pillar to post as "a child molesting psychopath"...?
Yeah... yeah: you're right.
Precisely that spiteful; obsessed; and agenda-driven.
Eventually -- out of sheerest desperation; with the "Anyone-Who-
Defends-This-Story-Arc-Must-Be-a-Pedophile-Too" yip-yops becoming steadily more and more shrill and abusive ("But then again, I've read that pedophiles often have all sorts of varieties of children's Wonderful Toys at their houses, so that when they pick up thier dates at the local park, they can have something to have in common with them when trying to, you know, do what Hal and Arisia did. Maybe some folks who argue this one to death just plain have no problem with what happened, so they'll stick up for it?")...
... H.E.A.T. e-mailed an inquiry to author Steve Englehart, in order that he (being, after all, only the guy who wrote the bloody thing) might fairly resolve the matter, for good and for all.
The letter was a brief one, and non-accusatory in tenor and type. Only three questions were asked of Mr. Englehart (who was most gracious in deigning even to answer them in the first place, in my humble opinion.)
Said questions (along with the answers provided by Mr. Englehart) are reprinted below.
1.) WAS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HAL JORDAN AND ARISIA -- IN ANY WAY; SHAPE; OR FORM -- A PEDOPHILLAC ONE?
Englehart: No.
2.) IN GREEN LANTERN #204, ARISIA CLEARLY STATES THAT SHE IS "TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD," IN EARTH TERMS. WAS SHE LYING?
Englehart: No. And it makes these guys' fantasies impossible.
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Initially, this question had been asked with an incorrect issue number (#107) as part of its premise, leading to an understandable confusion on Mr. Englehart's part. The amended answer provided above is to the corrected query, to which the gentleman graciously responded; and which was later posted on the GREEN LANTERN board.]
3.) THE ARGUMENT HAS BEEN ADVANCED THAT A READER (OF ANY GIVE WORK) MAY ACTUALLY "KNOW" WHAT A WRITER WAS INTENDING TO "SAY" BETTER THAN THE WRITER HIMSELF/HERSELF. IS THIS ARGUMENT, IN YOUR VIEW, CORRECT IN ITS BASELINE ASSUMPTION... OR SIMPLY MISPLACED ARROGANCE?
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh, yes... they tried this shameless bit of sophistry,
as well, during the... ummmmm... H.E.A.T. of debate.
Unable to convincingly "twist" Mr. Englehart's own carefully selected words,
in the comics under discussion, to suit their own frothing, fanatical ends...
the "anti-H.E.A.T." camp's last-ditch attempt was to brazenly assert the notion
that "the story says anything we elect to believe it says. I imagine
it's all traceable, ultimately, to a mishap with the delivery room forceps.
At least, that's what I elect to believe...]
Englehart: I think a writer creates a forest and a path among the trees. I believe it's possible for readers to find other paths, certainly. But you'd need to find the same sort of paths through several forests before you could claim to have found a trend. I'm known for cosmic stories, for intricate stories, for writing good women, for honoring the stories that came before me, for mastering many different types of characters, for saving characters, and probably ten other things, but not pedophilia. That would be a path in those guys' forests, not mine.
I have to say that people who are arguing about a story 12 years after it appeared, are obsessed, pure and simple. You can't argue with obessives; they're the ones getting off on pedophilia, not me. So let it go.
Steve Englehart
All in all; pound for pound; measure for measure... a wholly civil (and edifying) reply, from the only individual who might fairly lay claim to being able to provide the answers requisite for a swift and certain resolution.
The straight-outta-left-field response of the "Hal-Haters," in turn...?
"YOU TOLD STEVE ENGLEHART WE SAID HE WAS A PEDOPHILE!"
... and:
"WE NEVER, EVER SAID THAT HAL JORDON WAS A CHILD MOLESTER!"
Swear to Jesus. That's what they all tantrum'd at us.
Go back and re-read the questions, provided above. In their entirety...
... and then, scroll back up to the postings they made, which provided the initial impetus for the resulting online brouhaha in the first place...
... and then you tell ME which camp, between the two, best fits Mr. Englehart's sagacious dictum.
("You can't argue with obessives; they're the ones getting off on pedophilia, not me.")
The "anti-H.E.A.T." obsessives enjoy doing a lot of online blathering about how "extremist" our organization (supposedly) is; we, you see, have (O, Merciful Jesus! They're not human! Can No One STOP THEM -- ?!?) membership cards.
Plus: one of us called Kyle Rayner "a flea."
Both of these accusations are (for once; makes a nice change, actually) true ones.
Yes: we have (It's the End Times, I tell you -- !) membership cards.
Yes: we called Kyle Rayner "a flea."
... but:
Subject: [withheld]
Date: Wed, Apr 22, 1998 20:50 EDT
From: [name withheld]
Message-id: <1998042300501200.UAA25353@ladder03.news.aol.com>
I'm all for a very bloody war. I wish we were all arguing in person, armed with stones.
("I told you. I troll. Yes, I take pleasure in your misfortune.") ("No doubt you're still sore from your father's molestation lessons.") ("IF THERE IS A HELL! /I'LL SEE YOU THERE!")("Hal Jordan s _ cks d_ ck.")
... at least we don't get our collective jollies lobbing words such as pedophile around, willy-nilly... and then lying about it, when "busted."
At least we're not these "peaceable, fun-loving" guys.
At least we're not... y'know... extremists.
As this author has stated many a time before, on this very site: I'm certainly no Infalliable Prophet, or what-have-you. I'm just more aged; crotchety; and aggressively opinionated than most fans; have a bigger, more tireless mouth; and a site on which I enjoy the snide, sarcastic exercise of same. So: it's not as if I'm normally given or inclined, overmuch, to assume the online personna of a finger-wagging, tongue-
clucking "Miss Manners," so far as what other folks choose to post under their own screen names is concerned.
Yeah. We (H.E.A.T.) have membership cards. And: we lobby DC Comics, Inc. for the return of a comic book character (Hal Jordan). (... and -- on the following, final page -- we'll examine just what forms said "lobbying" has and has not taken)...
... but... y'know...
... were I the sort of person who could -- with conscience all smooth and untroubled -- post something like:
("Yeah? That's nice. Now go read your Rob Liefeld Captain America's and have some more doughnuts.");
... or: ("But then again, I've read that pedophiles often have all sorts of varieties of children's Wonderful Toys at their houses, so that when they pick up thier dates at the local park, they can have something to have in common with them when trying to, you know, do what Hal and Arisia did. Maybe some folks who argue this one to death just plain have no problem with what happened, so they'll stick up for it?");
... or: ("Hal Jordan s _ cks d_ ck.")...
... well. Maybe -- just maybe, mind you -- I'd manage, somehow, to find it in me to refrain from gadding about the comic book message boards like some self-styled, self-satisfied online equivalent of Pippi Longstocking, chirruping and yodeling about "extremists" this and "fanatics" that.
At the very least: I'd exercise just a wee bit more caution NOT to treat words such as "peaceable"; "fun-loving"; and "victimized" like drunken fraternity "pig dates" who'd been leg-manacled to a basement cot and forced to "entertain" the college football team, entire.
I imagine that pretty much any one of you, reading these words -- I've
corresponded with so very many of you, over the past year or so; to my
not-inconsiderable edification and delight -- might just as readily and naturally
claim as much.
WHEN IN DOUBT; TELL THE TRUTH. Page Four.
Let's wrap this up with an examination of what the good guys have been
up to, in the meantime.
We've tarried long enough here in The Valley of the Trolls, as it is.
"When In Doubt: Tell the Truth": PAGE
ONE
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