No Need For a Slumber Party

 

A silly x-over

 

By

 

Bryan Weber and Glyph Bellchime

 

 

Disclaimer: With the exception of Glyph Bellchime and Bryan Weber, all of the

characters appearing within, or at least certain species such as changeling and

cybertronian, are the property of their respective owners and are used without

permission. Please don't sue us. It's all in fun and humor, and we aren't making

any money on this.

 

 

 

Ryoga noticed that Akane was packing a bag for over night. Well, rather P-chan

was, sitting on her bed. The little pig eyes could just barely discern the

smooth envelope on the bedclothes. It definitely smelled funny though.

"You about ready?" the female voice of Ranma drifted down the hall.

P-chan growled, but said nothing. Akane was going on a trip, and Ranma was

coming along, but why was he staying in his girl form?

"Now, you promised that--" Akane started.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, no HOT water this weekend. Jeez, I got invited too, so they

do know about that."

P-chan stared. Ranma was invited as a girl? Ryoga about giggled, if a pig could.

But what was that about?

So he decided to try and come along.

"No, P-chan, you have to stay here," Akane picked the little black pig up and

out of the suitcase. "I still don't get why they invited YOU and Ukyo as well."

"It's a party, that's all I know, and our parents are definitely NOT going to be

there."

"At least, it's still going to be chaperoned, right?"

"Duh, You think I'd being going to it if it wasn't--I deal with too many girls

as it is--"

 

 

Speaking of having too many girls to deal with, Tenchi Masaki was looking

forward to the upcoming weekend. For once, he'd get the whole house to himself.

"So you got invited to a slumber party?" Tenchi asked Sasami.

"Uh-huh. Ryoko, Washuu, and Ayeka got invited too. It's just us girls, Tenchi.

Sorry."

"That's alright, Sasami," Tenchi said, trying not to show his enthusiasm. One

whole weekend without Ryoko and Ayeka fighting over him. One whole weekend where

Washuu didn't try to...experiment...on him. Sure, he'd miss them, but he felt he

deserved a break. Even Mihoshi was going to be on patrol, so he was free and

clear.

"So who's chaperoning this thing, anyway?" Tenchi asked.

"A friend of Ryoko's and Washuu's named Glyph."

 

Bryan Weber turned on the dimensional oscillator, and then stepped into the

transporter, "Now remember, Ryoko, Rei, I want this ship to be in one piece when

I get back. Glyph, Ukyo, Washuu, make sure they don't mess up the ship, please.

I'll keep your crew in line as well. Hey! Vegeta! Zechs! You two ready yet?"

Vegeta walked into the room carrying a duffel bag, "Why do we have to leave OUR

ship?"

"Because the Brian Drummond is the only place big enough to hold a slumber party

this size, and it's girls only, so we get to go cruising in the JEDRI. Glyph put

me in temporary command, and she has control of this ship for the time being."

Zechs Merquise came strolling into the transporter room, "I had to finish

installing the Club on Epyon. Didn't want to take any chances, you know."

Rei signaled that the transporter was ready, and beamed the male crew of the

Brian Drummond over to the JEDRI. She then activated the connection between the

dimensional oscillator and the transporter. As soon as this was done, Asuka

Langley Sohryu appeared on the platform.

"It's about time!" She fumed.

 

Shinji Ikari, Tenchi Masaki, and P-chan were quite surprised to find themselves

on the transporter pads of the JEDRI.

"Heh. Ok, boys. You're free this weekend, so it's Guy's Night Out. Zechs, bring

P-chan some hot water, will you? Hey, Vegeta, you got the signal yet?"

Vegeta nodded, "Cypher called it in already. I'm collecting the cash from

everyone now."

"Cash?" Tenchi asked.

"$5.00, or 400 yen," Vegeta said, "Your share for the pay-per-view. We're also

taking bets on who will win the match. My money's on Kurt Angle."

"Loser," Cypher smiled, "I'm betting on Triple H, man."

"Hey, I don't care as long as it's a good show," REBB barked up. Tenchi gave a

groan-but finally broke into a smile.

"Don't forget pizza," Pathos said.

"Glyph is gonna be pissed if we leave a mess," Andrew sighed.

"Got it covered," Bryan said, "We'll use the transporter as a recycler, and

dematerialize the trash. Ok, who's up for a round of 5-card stud? And REBB, no

hiding cards in subspace."

"Jeez. No respect, that's what I get."

 

"I just know they're messing up my ship," Glyph said, sitting in the command

chair of the Drummond. -how come this is so much bigger than MY chair?-

--Waita minute, I don't wanna know the answer to that-bad joke in progress.-

But then I do have a bit of a mess in my room. God, I hope they don't brake the

seal.

"Forget it," Ryoko said, breaking Glyph's train of thought. "Rei's finished

beaming everyone aboard. Sasami and that Skuld kid are playing in the rec room,

and we're finding rooms for Belldandy, Ayeka, Urd, Lain, Asuka, Ukyo, Akane,

Ranma, and Washuu. Rei and I have rooms already. So, what are we doing for

food?"

            "Let's see, we got at least two who can cook." Then Glyph remembered,

"Hey, get the replicator going on some snacks, then get to the meal stuff,

later. Anyway, get everyone to meet in the main theater-I'll get some volunteers

for the food, then we'll be ready for the fun."

Then she got "on the phone" to the local grocers...

 

There was a light yelp from a nearby room, then Ryoga peeked out from behind a

door. He seemed to be hiding from his shoulders down. He still had his bandanna

around his neck. "Uh, excuse me, gotta problem." The other guys looked up. " P-

chan-remember." The others didn't seem to catch on. "No clothes!"

            "Oh yeah, here," Cypher had suddenly appeared. He carried what looked like

a copy of Ryoga's hiking pack, including umbrella. He also tossed a blanket to

the other boy.

            "How in the?" Ryoga started, looking at the bag.

"We remember the last time you were here."

"Oh yeah. . . bonzai, Washuu still got that good of a swing?"

"It's improved."

"Ouch."

"What are you two talking about?" Bryan asked.

"Don't ask," Andrew shifted his cards, then, " Call, raise you one."

"Full house," Bryan smiled.

Vegeta and REBB grumbled, putting their cards down.

"I got it beat," Andrew said, "Straight flush."

Bryan sighed. There went that DVD player he was saving for.

Ryoga changed into a set of clothes, the one that had his sleeveless shirt. He

then flipped a hand though his hair and joined Pathos at the TV set. Pathos

offered something from his sack of fish chips. But Ryoga shook his hand in

negation. He picked up a can of tea, then another with an orange pop. Opening

it, he found it overflowing. Pathos chuckled.

 

Glyph tapped the mike end as the others gathered into the theater. She tested it

and the girls tried to keep the comments down. Urd, Ranma-chan, and Sasami had

stopped playing, so they could hear it too.

"Hello everybody, glad to see you all got here with minimal trouble..." here

Glyph got yammers and catcalls. "Right, okay, first business, we could use some

volunteers for some food stuff, some snacks, for now and the rest of the grub

when it gets here. Anyone care to?"

A few hands raised up. Glyph tried to keep from smiling as she brought the mike

back up. "AKANE, put your HAND BACK DOWN. If you're not willing to TASTE it when you're COOKING, don't BOTHER." Glyph also gave a hard look to Ryoko. Ryoko

didn't volunteer anything.

Ukyo buried her face into her hand. Ranma-chan looked the other way. But Glyph

was talking to those who had volunteered, mainly Sasami and Belldandy.

"Okay, the next bit of business. After about an hour, maybe during the movie,

we'll break and have," here she paused for empathasis. "THE TREASURE HUNT."

Some laughed, others actually sounded interested. Glyph explained, " Washuu and

I came up with riddles to solve, the objects are both on the JEDRI and the

Drummond. Washuu has provided us with a little gate..."

"You will have four chances to cross from ship to ship, it will be from both

directions. But the riddles are a little hard to figure..."

"Knowing you, Mom, they're impossible," Ryoko barked. Some giggles again.

"Not that hard," Glyph said in monotone. "We'll explain more when we set it up.

So what's the movie?"

"Titanic?" Ayeka ventured.  Half the girls cheered. The other half moaned.

"NOT AGAIN!" they cried out.

 

Meanwhile, aboard the JEDRI, Bryan sat with Tenchi, Andrew, and Shinji. They

seemed to be the sanest people in the room.

"Hey, Bryan, we got another ship on the scope here," REBB said.

"On screen."

A strange looking white ship appeared on the screen. It had two protruding

projections on both sides, and squat engines in the back, with some sort of hood

over the top. The insignia on the hull read Nadesico.

"Hail them," Bryan said.

"Assume standard hailing position," Vegeta barked. Before Bryan knew what was

going on, Vegeta, Cypher, and REBB were all pointing their suddenly nude

posteriors at the viewscreen.  Even though the last two could only mimic

clothes. The screen came on. There was a sudden feminine scream, and the screen

went dark.

"Vegeta, tell me you didn't just moon the Nadesico."

"Well alright, but I'd be lying."

Bryan sighed, "Shinji, from now on, you're in charge of communications."

 

Aboard the Nadesico, all were in shock, save for Ruri Hoshino, who had only this

to say, "And I thought everyone on THIS ship was baka."

 

Since the weekend was going to last three days, Ukyo decided that she might want

to acquaint herself with the kitchen. She strolled in to hear pans banging

around. She quickly whipped out several of her spatula darts from her bandoleer,

and called into the kitchen, "Akane, that had better not be you in there!"

It wasn't that Ukyo disliked Akane, but to save life and limb from the horror

that was the other girl's cooking, she would do what was necessary.

Sasami peeked her head around the corner, "Oh, hi Uc-chan! How are you?"

Ukyo relaxed. Good anime cooks were so hard to find that their skill and

reputation proceeded them. Sasami Jurai and Belldandy were the only other people

on the ship that would be trusted in the kitchen. Of course, bad anime cooks

were plentiful, and their reputations also proceeded them. And finding Ayeka,

Ryoko, Urd, or, worst of all, Akane, in the kitchen, was trouble with a capital

T.

"I'm fine, Sasami-chan. Hey, what are you making?"

"Miso soup, of course. We've got a lot of people to feed."

 

On the bridge of the Brian Drummond, Rei Ayanami was playing 3-D Chess with Lain

Iwakura. Rei looked across at Lain, who seemed deep in thought.

"All people are connected," Lain said quietly.

"I could not have said it better," Rei agreed, "Check."

Asuka watched this exchange, and sighed, "Next time we have a sleepover, I want

Kaji to come with me. Not a pair of dolls like these."

Lain suddenly turned an angry glare on Asuka, "Who the hell asked you, huh?"

Asuka was taken aback by the sudden personality change, "Uh...that is...well..."

Lain returned to her game, as if nothing had just happened.

"Weirdos" Asuka muttered, beating a hasty retreat.

Lain sighed, and pulled out her wallet, "You were right. She did freak out."

"Payment in yen, please. The dollar isn't worth much in my future."

 

It's been said that in space, no one can hear you scream. True. However, even

the laws of physics must give way to the power of the Infinite Improbability

Generator, which was now working overtime one the JEDRI. As the ship streaked

through space, one could have heard George Thouroghgood singing "Bad to the

Bone." at decibel levels never before calculated by rock musicians.

Which is incredibly odd, since inside the ship, all the guys were sitting on the

bridge, singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.

"We will not let you go!" Vegeta, Bryan, Ryoga, and REBB sang.

"Let him go!" Shinji, Tenchi, and Cypher sang.

"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me" Andrew chimed in. Pathos tried to join

him, but what came out was, "Beel-bub have devil put side me."

"For me, for me, for meeeeeeee!" they all sang at once.

"So you think you can love me and leave me to die!" Vegeta sang.

"So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye!" Shinji added.

"Oh, baby, can't do this to me baby!" Zechs came in.

Unbeknownst to them (but knownst to us) Bryan was recording it all for future

blackmail purposes, and making a copy for Glyph. (Though Bryan had to admit that

Cypher and Ryoga did have rather good voices. If only they'd use them for

actually singing.)

 

Music was also being heard from the Drummond, but it was more of the dance

variety. Lou Bega, in fact. And Cherry Poppin Daddies. . .

Glyph and some of the others who weren't interested in the movie were fooling

around, dancing, giggling. The leader of the JEDRI was even pretty good at

swing. She attempted to show Washuu the steps to the Lindy Hop, except that she

kept laughing. When she laughed, she messed up.

But actually everyone else seemed to be catching on. . .

Akane laughed just as much when she got Glyph to partner with her. It was only

enough to the others laugh, but they had the handle on it. Akane began to wonder

where Ranma was.

"Man, can I sympathize!" the fluid voice suddenly came to Akane's ear. She then

turned to the large TV.

Ranma-chan was piled with the other half of the girls, hugging a pillow to her

(his) chest. Ayeka piped up, asking the girl what she meant.

"Nevermind," Ranma blurted, "What's with her fianc? I'd like to punch him for

giving guys a bad name."

"Guys can do it all on their own," Asuka muttered. She didn't notice the death-

promising glare of Ran-chan.

"And how many do you actually talk to?" the martial artist blurted.

"Shh! This is my favorite part," Urd spoke up.

"Oh, yeah, the part where he saves her from falling off, " Ranma whispered. "I

like it too."

Akane giggled. "He never likes it as a guy."

Glyph started to laugh again. Although she had brought her Anime soundtracks,

she found that when she asked, some of the international and American bands were

requested. Oh well.

She switched CD's, to her Aqua one, then began to sing to it as the verse went

like this:

"I got feeling you could use a little smile, hoping it could stay there for just

a little while. Making allotta noise out there, throw your hands up in the air.

I don't wanna waste my time on simple little things, I'd rather stay here

overnight with everyone who sings. . .

Happy boys and happy girls we'll be, we are the happy boys and girls. . .

So happy, yeah, I'm, I'm so happy, yeah. . .

Try with a giggle, it would make you look so nice, and if you start to warm, it

would further break the ice. . ."

 

Sasami giggled, as she started the ice shaver. Ukyo was looking over a recipe,

then converted some of her okonomiyaki to make it more like a sweet treat. This

was actually fun.

Sasami then looked wistfully at the older girl. Belldandy paused, seeing the

little girl get quiet. Uc-chan halted.

"Don't cry, Sasami-chan," Belldandy started.

"Is something wrong?" Ukyo asked, looking now puzzled.

Sasami shook herself out of the sullen mood. "Sorry, just a thought that. . ."

"You wish this whole night could last forever?" Belldandy smiled. Then Ukyo

joined in.  In fact, Ukyo got a rather surprisingly wicked grin on her face. She

pulled a small, green device from her bandoleer.

"What's that?" Sasami asked, but had to stop when suddenly Ukyo dusted her

freckled nose with tempura flakes. While Sasami swiped at her face, Ukyo brought

the little device up to her eye, and a flash emanated from it.

Then a little blue disk appeared, Ukyo shook it then placed it on the table. A

small girl that looked like Sasami dusted tempura off of her nose as well.

"Wow! A hologram!" Sasami chirped.

"Washuu traded something to a local band of aliens for this little recorder. It

can only do a few minutes to each little disk. I wonder though. . ."

"About what?" Belldandy asked. She didn't want to pry into other people's

thoughts.

Ukyo smiled that same wicked smile. "If they ever figured that what Washuu

traded them was a toaster. . ."

Sasami was now giggling. "Knowing Washuu-chan, it could have rivaled their sun!"

Then all the girls were laughing.

 

Glyph stuck her head in at some point.

"Almost done?" she asked, "We've got some hungry people out there."

 

 

Pathos popped a fish chip in his mouth idly. He wasn't enjoying the wrestling

like most of the guys. He was a pacifist by nature, cat nature really, and found

that even though some of the moves were impressive, he was getting bored by the

show. He didn't want to say anything, because he knew the others were into it.

"Psst."

Pathos' ears tilted, yet he didn't move his head. He recognized Ryoga's voice.

"You look bored. Can we do something while the other guys are into this? I get

in better fights with Ranma."

Pathos popped another fish chip in his mouth. "Wait, fifteen minutes. Ask to use

rest room. Don't eat before hand.  Got place I like."

Ryoga finally looked at Pathos, seeing the cat-boy smile. The martial artist's

curiosity was piqued.

"OH, come ON!" Cypher yelped, then dropped his hands onto his knees. "There goes

my money."

"This is not real combat," Zechs said, "This is just a thin, predictable script.

Tenchi, you know how to fence. Fetch your boken."

Bryan looked worried, "Hey, Zechs, the boy cut through a starship with one

stroke. You want to invite that kind of trouble?"

"That was when he was using the Light Hawk Sword. Without real mortal danger,

his Jurai powers won't activate."

Vegeta grinned, "Now this might be worth betting on."

 

They gathered in the holotheater of the JEDRI. Bryan pulled referee duty.

"Now remember, I want a nice, clean match. No dismembering opponents."

"Spoil my fun," Vegeta muttered from the sidelines.

"Do you know how to handle a boken, Zechs?" Tenchi asked.

Zechs, who had changed into fighting garb similar to Yosho's, nodded, "I'm well

versed in several martial arts. En garde!"

The two went toe to toe, matching each other stroke for stroke. Tenchi was

quickly discovering, however, that while he had the edge in training (Yosho WAS

his instructor, after all), Zechs made up for it with incredible dexterity and

physical might.

Tenchi was being pushed to the edge of the holographic ring, when he looked

Zechs in the eye, "There's something I have to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I'm not left-handed," Tenchi switched the boken to his right hand in a deft

spin. He began to repel Zechs' advance, and was even beginning to wear the other

man down, he felt.

REBB, Cypher, Bryan, and Shinji all sighed. They knew where this was leading.

"Funny," Zechs said, "I'm not left handed either!"

In a move even more impressive than Tenchi's, his sword was suddenly in his

right hand. He managed to knock Tenchi's boken from his hand, and his own was

suddenly at Tenchi's throat.

Vegeta smirked, "About what I figured."

"If this were real combat," Zechs said, speaking to Vegeta, but maintaining his

view of Tenchi, "I would have lost. His Juraian powers would have activated, and

the Light Hawk Wings would have parried all my efforts."

"That's about enough of that," Bryan said, "C'mon. I got a film for us. And has

anybody seen Pathos or Ryoga?"

"Ryoga's probably lost," Cypher said.

"On a Defiant class ship? Is that possible?"

Andrew, REBB, and Cypher spoke as one, "Yes."

 

"Oh, how terrible," Belldandy said.

"What is it, sister?" Urd asked.

"I sensed a dark force in this room, and it emanates from that girl over there.

It seems that whenever Ranma-chan is splashed with hot water, she is cursed to

become a boy," Belldandy smiled, "Well, I'm a Goddess first class, and I can

help her."

"She'll be so happy. I imagine she's getting tired of cold showers," Urd said.

Belldandy nodded, and began to summon her power, but was being very discrete

about it. She liked giving without unneeded praise.

"By the way, where's Keiichi?"

"Who?"

Glyph interrupted, "Because of the way the Ygdrassil works, we couldn't bring

Belldandy here for three days without brining Keiichi. So we had to get

Belldandy from before he made his wish. She hasn't met him yet."

"Oh," Urd sighed. How was she going to play matchmaker without Keiichi around?

Well, they were going to be popping over to the JEDRI soon enough...

 

Rei popped into the kitchen. She was carrying Ryo-Ohki with her.

"I believe she was looking for you," Rei said, handing the cabbit to Sasami.

"Thank you, Rei," Sasami smiled, "I think Ryo-Ohki likes you."

Ryo-Ohki did indeed seem a bit sad that Rei was leaving the room again.

Ukyo smiled, "Say, Rei, why not hang out with us?"

Rei smiled slightly, but it warmed the room's temperature by several degrees,

"I...that would be nice."

 

Ryoko, in the meanwhile, was chatting with Lain about Ryo-Ohki, "So you see,

whenever Mihoshi gets aboard, the ship has a habit of flying under the

influence. I was wondering if a firewall or something could be put up to block

the effects."

Lain shrugged, "That's a new one to me. I don't usually deal with computers that

turn into fuzzballs."

Just then, they heard the voice of the Drummond's main computer, Zod, "What are

you doing, Skuld?"

"Oh, just ironing out a few bugs."

"Wait. You're not going to...>WHAPANG< I'M A SENSITIVE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT! STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT MALLET!"

"Just pipe down. I'll be finished in a moment."

"Leave me alone. Stop it. Get away from my mother-board!"

>WHAPANG<

Lain shrugged, "No worries. If she breaks it, I can rebuild it."

 

All the men aboard the JEDRI, watching the screen, were in a very emotional

state.

"Maya! Maya!" Captain Harlock was cradling the body of his lover onscreen,

"There were so many things I wanted to say, so many things I wanted to ask you!"

Shinji actually had tears streaming down his cheeks. Bryan, Andrew, and Cypher

were misty-eyed. Which seemed odd, since Cypher was a changeling, and they

didn't have tears.  REBB, Zechs, and Vegeta were watching with looks of sorrow

on their faces. Bryan had unloaded Waga Seishun no Arcadia (Arcadia of My Youth)

on the others, and it was having a very, very disturbing effect on them.

"That's so tragic!" Shinji wailed.

"The Tokargans, wiped out by their masters," Vegeta said, emotionally.

"Harlock has fought his battle, and lived as a true man," Zechs intoned.

 

As for Ryoga, well..."WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!!!!!"

"You quiet now!" Pathos said, "We no lost! We right here!"

"Where's here?" Ryoga barked.

"Quit shout then, it hurt ears," Pathos then climbed a set of pipes, almost

vertically. Ryoga watched in surprise. Some things began to fly from the pipes

as apparently Pathos used this place as a place for privacy. Ryoga caught one

item as it floated down. It was some sketches of a female cat, stuck inside of a

comic. Then a piece of cloth landed on his head.

"Watch it, will ya?" Ryoga blurted out. But then he noticed Pathos sliding back

down, not looking. He held something in his teeth. "That for you," Pathos

muttered when he removed the item from his mouth. It looked like some sort of

key. He then put the key back in his mouth.

Ryoga then got a look at the cloth. Then he recognized it.

It was a bathing suit.

 

"Ah good, they gone," Pathos whispered. Then he opened the door to the

holographic theater. He smiled. He clapped on for the lights.

"Feh, how lame," Ryoga snorted, but then he noticed the room. Pathos picked up a

geta, and tied it to his waist. Ryoga stared.

Pathos went into a series of flips, head over cat tail, er feet. Ryoga smiled.

"You've improved," Ryoga complimented. Pathos grinned, his blonde hair falling

back over his shoulders. The cat then popped the key into his pocket. He called

up to the computer to change the program. The room changed into forest, and

rock.

Ryoga looked up. "You wanna climb up?" he noticed the gear around their clothes.

Pathos laughed. "No, down."

Ryoga shook his head, so Pathos called the computer again to change the program.

Then a ball flew at him-Ryoga ducked, and caught it. He saw that it was a

dodgeball.

"Hey, mister, you want to give that back?" A kid about twelve looked at him from

around the wall. Ryoga started, then tossed it at the kid. Some called to

Pathos, but the cat-boy smiled to them, waving away. Ryoga glanced at the boy.

"RPG-Crystalmage," Pathos smiled. Then he went up to a store window, and tapped

its surface. A computer screen came up, on the surface. Since Ryoga wasn't

protesting, he typed in a password.

'Password accepted, return to character or new game?'

"New game," he spoke up. "Two character-newbie, reg, play, code 1."

"Code 1 accepted. Player 1 choose character now."

"That be you, Ree-yo-gahh," Pathos smiled. Puzzled, Ryoga spoke up.

"How?"

"Take a look on the screen, and choose your character."

 

Ryoga then found himself--walking on a tightrope in the middle of a circus!

Ryoga steadied, trying to keep his balance. "I thought this was a fantasy game,"

he muttered. Pathos was signaling to him from the other side of the rope. "What

the!" he yelped.

"Chavane! You pick Chavane!"

"And that's important?!" he yelled.

"Chavane is acrobat! I Nedal!"

 

Glyph tilted her head, noticing Sasami getting ready to bang on a lid. Then she

signaled to Sasami to hold a minute. She picked up a remote.

"HEY!" those who were watching the movie yelped. The same thing happened to

those listening to the music. Both had shut off as Glyph pressed a few buttons.

Then Sasami began to bang on the lid, very loudly. Now everyone was paying

attention.

"Food's ready!" Sasami called.

 

If there is any word that describes a group of girls meeting together is, that

word might be humming. Washuu smiled, as she gathered her plate of food.

"Hey, Washuu-chan, did you tell the guys of the treasure hunt?" Glyph spoke up,

then took a bite of the okonomiyaki.

"Yes, I did," Washuu nodded. She looked at her computer.

 

"At least, I think I did," she whispered.

 

To Washuu's credit, she had remembered to post the e-mail to the JEDRI. There

were, however, two things she had forgotten. First, Skuld had

been...adjusting...the subspace transceiver aboard the Drummond, and second, she

had taken the automated mail system off-line aboard the JEDRI anyway, to keep

the guys out of Glyph's personal mail. It wasn't that she didn't trust

them...exactly. Well, all right, she didn't trust them. They were a bunch of

hormone driven nutcases!

Andrew had the passwords to get in, but that would only have been useful if he

were actually at the computer to notice that a message was incoming. As it was,

he was with the other guys, chowing down in the rec room.

"These burgers are great!" Shinji said.

"My own recipe," Bryan grinned, "I take a good dose of garlic and soy sauce and

douse the meat before cooking it."

"Reel beef, too," Tenchi said, "Beef costs a fortune in Japan!"

"True that," Vegeta said, "But some of us aren't limited to shopping in Japan."

"Got a point there," Andrew muttered.

Ryoga and Pathos had returned, having had a decent game, and now being drawn by

the enticing aroma of food. Pathos was leading, mainly because he was hungrier.

His nose told him where it was. He had to be hiding it somewhere, because the

boy was as thin as a wire. Actually, they both were carrying towels and bathing

suits. Ryoga laughed, very animated, talking about the highwire save, then other

things that happened to them. He grinned, letting his fangs show.

"It feels great to go swimming without changing," he chuckled.

"Swimming? Changing?" Tenchi murmured, looking at the back of Ryoga's head.

As Ryoga sat to eat, he noticed Bryan looking at him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I gotta give you credit, Ryoga. You have no sense of direction, you constantly

wander around lost, or are tormented as a tiny black piglet. Yet for all the

hardships you've endured, you never quit. You keep going, determined to get

somewhere. You have your problems, but man, you got MY respect."

Surprisingly, Vegeta seconded the sentiment, "Mine as well. As humans go, you've

got a spark in you that refuses to quit. So you have problems with the girls.

Big deal. You've got it where it counts, kid."

Shinji looked depressed.

"Buck up, Shinji," Bryan said, "You're a great guy, too."

"I'm spineless," Shinji said, "I've read the files on the sites. People think

I'm a coward, a wuss!"

"Hardly," Zechs spoke up, "You're a fourteen year old kid. Most fourteen-year-

olds have to deal with acne, cracking voices, and girls. You have the fate of

the world resting on your shoulders, a father who makes Genma Saotome look warm

and caring, and live with a girl who would just as soon spit on you as look at

you. And still, you haven't broken. You're not a coward, Shinji. You're just a

kid who's in the wrong places at the wrong times."

"Definitely, and you don't have a water curse," Ryoga picked up his burger.

"This is beef, right?"

"Hey, why are we so serious all of a sudden?" Cypher asked, "This is supposed to

be a party. C'mon. Let's get with the program, huh?"

"Too right," Bryan nodded, "Any ideas?"

"Well," Tenchi said, "There's always Karaoke."

 

Glyph turned to Washuu as everyone was finishing their meals, "Ok, I think it's

time to let them in on the Treasure Hunt, don't you?"

"Aye, Cap'n," Washuu said in her best Scotty impersonation.

Glyph groaned.

Ayeka and Ryoko were staring each other down over the last okonomiyaki.

"It's mine!"

"Hands off, I saw it first!"

"What's with those two?" Akane asked.

"Geez, and I thought YOU were uncute," Ran-chan muttered. She received a kick to

the shin for the comment.

"They're both trying to win the heart of the same man," Sasami explained.

"Wow," Ukyo said, "I'm so glad you and I get along better than that, Akane!"

"I'll say," Akane nodded, "I'd hate to see you coming at me with that spatula

every morning!"

Ranma shrugged, staying out of it.

Glyph picked up the pan lid, the same one Sasami had used to get the others

attention. She picked up the girl's spoon and banged on it. It was better than a

gong. And definitely gets their attention better than the mike.

"Now that were all together, it's time for the Anything Goes Martial Arts

Treasure Hunt. I think that there's fourteen of us. . ."

"Miya!" Ryo-Oki interrupted.

At the catlike call, Ranma flinched a bit.

"Fifteen if we count the cabbit, so we'll divide into three teams of four.

Here's the riddles after the teams are assembled."  Glyph held the lists. "Okay,

guys, LINE UP."

"AHEEMMM!"  a group of the girls barked.

Glyph tried to keep her laugh down. "Okay, ladies, PLEASE, line up."

So they the girls lined up, but then two shrill voices were definitely heard.

"What are you doing here, Ryoko?" Ayeka blurted

"I don't want to end up on the same team as you," Here Ryoko snapped.

"Princess."

Glyph rolled her eyes to Washuu, "She's your daughter." She handed Washuu the

lists.

 

Sasami sat on the floor, Ryo-Oki on her shoulder. Rei sat to her left, Akane to

her right. Urd completed the circle. They had commandeered a corner, and were

looking over the clues.

"Any ideas?" Sasami asked.

"I'm still trying to figure out the rhyme. . ." Rei murmured.

"Let me read it," Urd volunteered. Then:

 

" The Oracle says for the first item:

Watch for a band of yellow and black,

that circles this character's head,

but if you speak, watch your attack,

because you're kind is the one he dreads."

 

" Watch for a band?" Akane blurted.

"Yellow and black?" Rei added.

"Does that sound familiar to anyone?"

 

Ryoko paused with the paper, still letting Skuld, Ranma-chan, and Asuka read

over her shoulders.

"Anyone got any ideas?" Ryoko asked.

"I say, we head over now and take care of business," Asuka said.

"But we still don't know what the clue means," Skuld said.

"Oh, yes we do," Ran-chan grinned, "Akane and Ucchan probably figured it out

too."

 

Ukyo, Belldandy, Lain, and Ayeka were looking at the rhyme.

"Well," Ukyo said, "I think the best plan will be to get where we're going,

before the others. We can figure this out on the way."

"Just one moment," Ayeka spoke up, "Who put YOU in charge? As the first princess

of Jurai, it should be me to lead us."

"We aren't on Jurai, Miz Princess, so anyone can speak up. Oh-Kay?" Ukyo

snapped, not letting Ayeka interject. "Besides I know the JEDRI, so we won't be

wandering around."

Belldandy interjected instead. "Please don't fight, we have to figure the

clues."

Lain blinked slightly, then spoke, "Who are aboard the JEDRI at the moment?"

"Let me think," Belldandy put her finger to her lip thoughtfully, "Well, there's

Bryan, Zechs, REBB01, Vegeta, Cypher, Shinji Ikari, Tenchi Masaki, Ryoga Hibiki,

Pathos, and Mew."

Ukyo's eyes went wide, "Of course! How did I not see it right away! It's Ryoga!"

 

Ryoga sneezed.

"Hey, man, you got allergies?" Bryan asked.

"Not that I know of," Ryoga said, "I hope I'm not coming down with something."

Just then, Mew came into the room.

"Hey, Mew. Where you been?"

Mew held up his sign  ## I slept in ##.

"Oh well," Cypher shrugged, "You can join us. We're about to begin the torture,

also known as the Anything Goes Martial Arts Karaoke Contest."

"I thought they did that on the show already," REBB said, scratching his head.

"Hey, Bryan," Andrew spoke up, "Hate to rain on your parade, but we're picking

up a distress call from that planet over there. Designation LV-426."

"LV-426?" Bryan mused, "That sounds familiar to me. I wonder why. Oh well. Head

on over. We'll see what we can see."

Bryan had an excellent memory, but it wasn't exactly photographic. Anything he

read or saw on TV was permanently captured in his brain. Unfortunately, that

didn't mean he could always recall it when he needed to. Because if he could, he

would remember that LV426 was the site of a Sigourney Weaver film with a very

nasty little surprise waiting for them. Oh well. Some things have to be learned

the hard way...

"ACK! Watch the soda!" Ryoga yelled, a bit too late. Shinji Ikari tripped over

his own two feet, sending a pitcher of root beer spraying all over Ryoga. The

hapless young man emerged from the soda spray as everyone's favorite black

piglet, P-Chan. Upset, and fearful that the others would laugh at him, Ryoga ran

off into the halls.

"Oh great," Bryan muttered, "Someone get some hot water and find him. And Zechs,

Vegeta, REBB, since it looks like we may be involved in a rescue operation, I

want you three to beam down. You're the muscle, after all. Shinji, Tenchi, and I

will look for Ryoga. Cypher, Andrew, Mew, you guys know this ship best. Keep us

from crashing."

"Okay, that's easy," Andrew then called. "Shara, we need the orbiting auto-pilot

on, NOW!"

"I am the auto-pilot, you dork!" a female voice spoke up. Andrew sighed. Bryan

looked at him quite puzzled. Who the hell was he having an argument with? The

ship's computer?

"Post on a few intervals for trouble. Look, I'm sorry about you having to keep

quiet, but this was supposed a Guy's Night Out, and essentially you're a girl. I

know the message board is our job."

"I am not your damn secretary." The female voice continued. "And I have been

quiet, so your guys could have some non-matronized fun, but this was more than

enough."

"Who?" Bryan finally asked.

"Shara, she's the ship's computer."

"Is she like Zod?" Bryan tried to find a comparison.

"She is more sentient than that.  Shara, she's like a real person, REBB created

her. It's a little hard to explain. I'll tell, but we need to find Ryoga. Let's

say for now, she's just like you and me," and here Andrew dropped his voice.

"And has the personality of a nattering mother-in-law."

"I heard that!" Shara snapped.

 

The dimensional gate between the JEDRI and the Drummond opened up in three

spots, allowing all three teams to march right at different locations.

"Keep your eyes peeled," Akane said, "We still don't know what we're looking

for."

Just then, a little black piggy came running up behind Akane.

"P-chan? How did you get here? You must have been hiding on the Drummond the

whole time, and followed me here!"

 

"Now remember," Ranma said, "Our target can change himself into a piggy if he

wants to hide, so be real careful on your approach."

"Got it," Ryoko said.

"I wonder how this ship works," Skuld said, tapping at a panel with her mallet.

"SKULD!" A voice spoke into a radio in her ear, "If you damage just one of my

pretty little gadgets, I promise you, I'll tan your hide but good!"

Skuld sighed, "Hai, Washuu-chan."

"And if you get anywhere near MY motherboard, Washuu-chan won't be the only one

using you for hides," a very motherly voice piped up.

"Who the heck was that?" Ryoko barked.

"I'm the ship's computer, call me Shara. But don't expect any help from me

though."

 

Tenchi was looking for P-chan when he was suddenly grabbed by a pair of very

delicate, soft hands.

            "Lord Tenchi!" Ayeka cried out, hugging him from behind.

"Miss Ayeka?!" Tenchi gulped, "Wh-what are you doing here!?"

"Didn't Glyph tell you?" Ayeka nuzzled into his back, but...

>WHAPANG<

"Can't you do that on your own time?" Ukyo barked, then realized that Tenchi and

Ayeka were kneeling on the floor rather than standing anymore. "Whoops!" she

said under her breath.

"Pretty birds, pretty birds," Tenchi muttered before shaking out of it.

"Would someone stop ringing that bell?" Ayeka muttered, putting her hands

finally on top of her head.

"Heh, sorry guys, Washuu knows when to duck, and I'm used to people with harder

heads!" Ukyo blurted. Lain and Belldandy both gained sweatdrops. They wanted now

to be a little more careful around that large spatula.

"So why are you here again?" Tenchi asked, rubbing his neck and head. Man, had

that hurt!

 

Cypher went to his own quarters first, before joining the search party. He

wanted to find Fuzzy, his pet. Whatever she was. No one knew what she was, but

she had excellent sense of smell.

A blue-green creature came at his call. It was shaped much like a cat, but had a

tail like a banded raccoon, only chunks were taken out. The whiskers were

luxurious, shaped much like a moth's antenna. The ears resembled Ryo-Oki's. "Ah,

Fuzzy, come on, we got to find us one little pot-bellied pig in a bandanna," he

murmured.

She pucked, pucked in reply.

 

Skuld sighed, how in the world were they going to find someone who gets lost on

a regular basis? Ryoko seemed to know where she was going, so the others

followed her lead. Not that they were having any arguments between themselves.

 

Cypher bumped into Sasami and the rest of her group. Fuzzy had climbed around

his neck, into the pleasurably warm spot under his over shirt. It was the only

piece of clothing he owned.

"Cypher!" Sasami called, giggling. The surprised changeling was suddenly hugged

by the little princess. He about blurted a reply when he saw Akane. And the

other two...

And P-chan.

You just HAD to make this difficult, Cypher mentally growled.

"Cypher, can you help us?" Rei asked, very nicely. She now held the list. "We

want to find this first item, but we have no idea what the riddle means. Oh!"

She jumped as a very confused creature jumped onto Sasami and looked at the

list. "Oh, its Fuzzy."

Here Akane laughed. "She wants to figure the riddles, too."

"She looks to be the same size as P-chan," Urd pointed out. It gave Cypher an

idea.

But now he had to pay attention to their question.

"It says that were supposed to be looking for a band- bandanna- and it's ACHOO!"

Sasami abruptly sneezed as Fuzzy's tail tickled her nose. She then dusted it

away from her face.

"Waitaminute, what did you say Sasami?" Akane blurted. The other two girls

looked quite puzzled.

"I sneezed, but was trying to say. . . a band and, oh, I see!"

"A band worn around the head, a bandanna," Urd caught on. "So who wears a yellow

and black bandanna that we know of?"

Akane knew. "Ryoga, but would he be here?" Here P-chan made a little confused

bwee.

Cypher tried not say anything, but mentally he muttered. Well, yeah, but you

don't know how close. . .

"Cypher, can you help us look for Ryoga?" asked Rei, smiling at him. That gentle

smile seemed to unnerve anyone, including one very nervous changeling.

"F-funny you should ask, I was doing just that, " here his tone dropped, making

the point across to P-chan.

"But it could mean that everyone else is looking for him as well," Urd sighed.

Cypher was frantically trying to think of something to get P-chan out of Akane's

embrace without blurting out that the little pig was Ryoga. Only one thing came

to mind.

Oh, gods, no way, it's the oldest trick in the cartoon book. They won't fall for

it. Cypher shook his head, trying to make it unnoticeable. But...

"Hey! What's that over there?" Cypher pointed. The older girls looked...

"Where? Where?" Urd asked.

And they fall for it, Cypher groaned, but moved quickly.

"Hey! There was nothing there!" Akane snapped when she turned around. They all

stared in surprise. Cypher was gone!

Then the bundle in her hands moved. Akane looked, then yelped.

"Puck? Puck?" a very confused Fuzzy asked. She looked a little stunned to have

been so suddenly displaced.

"Uhm, where's Sasami?" Rei asked. The little creature started to preen her

whiskers.

 

"You...owe...me...BIG," Cypher growled with each step. The little pig gave a

faint grunt. "I'm not lettin' you argue that thought, Ryoga. I'm gonna change

you back."

He found a bathroom on the guest level. Cypher turned on the hot water faucet,

then dropped the little pig into the water.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot your clothes," Cypher responded, then put a hand over his

face. "Put that towel on, I'll go get 'em."

Ryoga picked up the white fluffy towel on and wrapped it around his waist.

Cypher had started to open the door when he suddenly shut it back.

"Whatsamatter?" Ryoga asked.

"She followed us!"

"Cypher?" Sasami's voice carried across the door.

"Duck in here!" Cypher hissed, giving Ryoga a shove into what looked like a

washroom. "I'll get her outta here." He slammed the door shut.

"Uh, Cypher," Ryoga called. "Light?!!!!"

 

Sasami entered, seeing the changeling shut the other door. "Hi, Sasami, uhm, I'm

trying to take a bath here. . ." he quickly shut off the hot water.

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to know, why you needed P-chan for?" she got closer.

Cypher finally had a blank moment.

 

"Damn," Ryoga whispered, hearing the changeling trying to talk his way out of

the little princess's questions. The problem was. . . he was in the dark.

Literally. Ryoga put his hands out to feel for the light switch. He stumbled.

"YEEOUCH!" he yelped.

 

"What was that?" Sasami asked.

Cypher tried to act innocent. "What's what?"

"That sound."

"What sound?"

"Cypher, are you trying to hide something?"

 

Ryoga got back up to his feet. Damn, damn, that had hurt, so he had to have

fallen pretty hard. On what though? He walked further into the room, finally

touching a wall.

And a latch!

But when he opened the door, he realized it led to the hall on the other side.

Great. He didn't see anyone coming, but there didn't seem to be a door on the

other side.

 

"Cypher, what are you hiding in there?"

Sasami grabbed the door before Cypher could react. Then the light came on. The

washroom was empty! Cypher, if he had caught his breath, would have exhaled

right then in relief. Now I know why you're called Ryo- you're one lucky SOB!

Cypher thought.

"Nothing." He said aloud.

 

Ryoga moved quietly in the hall, keeping his back to the wall. It was cold!

 

Tenchi and Ayeka's set of girls met up with Akane in the hall. Urd and Lain were

nearby. Tenchi gave an excuse that Bryan would need his help. And Andrew.

"Well, yes, they would be expecting you," she sighed. He waved good-bye and

headed towards where he had assumed the lifts were. Ukyo shrugged. "Akane?

Where's Sasami, wasn't she with your group?"

"She went after Cypher, but we can't seem to find either of them," She looked a

little upset. "But she probably was going after him because he took off with P-

chan."

"Hmm, I thought you left P-chan at home, Akane," Ukyo spoke up.

"So did I," Akane murmured. Then: "Maybe he was going to take him home!" she

looked relieved.

 

Ryoko grumbled. "If only Mom had let me have a look when she was modifying this,

I could just phase around until we find the little twerp."

"He ain't that bad," Ranma spoke up, then, "Whoop! I forgot who we were talking

about."

 

Ryoga felt along the wall. Wait, was that voices he was hearing? Girl voices!

And they were coming this way!

For once, he let the "get lost" sense take over, hoping it would let him lose

them. He held the towel, then closed his eyes. He gave a half spin, and ...

Found a door!

Damn, maybe I should use that more often! He muttered, ducking for the door.

It was locked.

Maybe not. He reconsidered.

Then he spied one further down. He did a mad dash, hearing the footsteps now

echo in the hall.

"I'll try this way," Asuka called.

Ryoga pulled the door open, and darted in.  But instead of shutting the door, he

found it to be another washroom. This one had though a strange creature resting

in the sink.

It started to make a loud racket.

"J-just passin through," he stammered, then he found the next door.

He threw it open, then swung through.

He braked, his bare feet skidding.

All the girls from two of the treasure hunt parties were staring at him, just as

surprised as he was! Ran-chan had just turned the corner.

Ryoga gave a surprised hiss, then squeaked a phrase that needed no translation

into English. Even though it was spoken in American.

"oh shit."

 

Then he bumped the door. It closed, catching on the latch and locking.

 

"Hey, nice bod!" "Wheet, those are great legs!" "You just get out of the

shower?" some of the ruder girls started catcalling.

Though Ranma kept quiet. So did Ukyo, they both slunk around the corner.

Akane, though, turned her head.

 

Ryoga wanted to die. He wanted the ground to swallow him up; he tried to move.

Ut oh.

Apparently, when the door had shut, the towel had gotten lodged in the latch!

Ryoga tried to pull, ignoring the comments. It was stuck!

"Aw, CRAP!"

 

"Do you think we should help him out?" Ranma-chan asked.

Ukyo slightly smiled. "Ida know, I'm kinda enjoying the show."

 

Ryoga was panicking. For several reasons: 1) Shinji Ikari, in a bout of

clumsiness, spilled cold pop on him, changing him into P-chan, and he tried to

hide. 2) Cypher had found him, changed him back, but had forgotten his clothes.

3) when Cypher tried to retrieve his clothes, he was stopped by a very curious

Sasami, who was eight. 4) Ryoga, clad now in only a towel, had somehow escaped

Sasami, only to end up in front of practically all the other girls. 5) the towel

had gotten stuck in the door!

"ohshitnonononononono, aw come on, let go you," Ryoga kept jerking on the towel.

He pulled hard, putting his foot on the door.

Ukyo called from somewhere in the back. "Uh, Ryoga, you might not want to pull

that hard or it's gonna..."

RRRR-RRIIPPP!!!

"Nevermind," Ranma muttered.

 

 

Vegeta, Zechs, and REBB were wandering the dark wreckage of an alien vessel. It

was the evident source of the distress call, though it was beginning to look

more and more like it was a recording, rather than a live signal.

"I still wish we could have used instantaneous movement," Zechs said, "Rather

than a shuttlecraft."

"Instantaneous movement only works when I have a ki source to lock onto, and

there wasn't anything. And your transporters were fouled by the weird ionization

of the atmosphere. So we had to use a shuttle. "

"This part of the ship looks different," Zechs now noticed,

"More...organic...than the rest of it."

"Keep your eyes peeled, boys," Vegeta said, "Something is very wrong with this

place."

REBB looked at the structure of the walls, and suddenly realized something, "Oh,

geez. This is a hive!"

"A hive?" Zechs asked.

"Yeah. And not just any hive. We're talking some of the most vicious creatures

around. Their skin is incredibly tough. I think they're silicon based, and they

have concentrated molecular acid for blood. That stuff will eat through

anything. They have retractable jaws, and they're very good at blending into a

background like this. We're probably surrounded as is."

"Now there's a cheerful thought," Vegeta muttered, "I don't think they can hurt

me, and I can cover you two. So let's just get back to the shuttle and get off

this rock."

They all marched back outside, paying close attention to the walls, watching for

the slightest hint of motion.

"Um...where is the shuttle?"

 

Andrew watched on the screen as the shuttle came in on auto-pilot. He made a

mental note to remind REBB to stick to procedures about hailing later. As it

was, he was trying to figure out why all the girls were suddenly on the JEDRI.

Bryan came onto the bridge, Urd trailing behind him.

"If you love her, you should just say so," Urd was saying.

"For the last time, Asuka is 1) Not my type 2) Dangerous, and 3) Way too young.

So get off my back. Besides, I'm a Rei fan."

Just then, there was a sudden jolt of energy, and the whole ship reverberated

under the force.

Bryan and Andrew exchanged looks and sighed, "Ryoko and Ayeka both found

Tenchi."

 

Aboard the Brian Drummond, Washuu had discovered the laboratory, and wandered

in. There was a large case on the far wall, filled several dozen vials of what

looked like water. On the case, written in large red letters, was a sign:

WARNING. JUSENKYO SAMPLES. DO NOT OPEN.

There was another jar on a shelf, ANGEL TISSUE. EVANGELION PROJECT. UNIT 01

REGENERATION SAMPLE.

"Oooo, Bryan's gonna grow himself an Eva," Washuu giggled.

There was another case: ANIME COOK SAMPLES. STASIS LOCK. DO NOT OPEN.

Inside this case were several metal cases, each with a name and a bio-hazard

symbol. KOTOBUKI, C-KO. KATSURAGI, MISATO. TSUKINO, USAGI. And one case had a black paint job, with a skull and crossbones painted on it. TENDO, AKANE.

There were dozens of swords, spell books, and gems, all locked under a system of

utmost security. Washuu felt like a kid in a candy store.

The computer listed dozens of mech designs, starship specs, and biology

profiles. It was a library of meticulous research and planning.

Washuu looked around, "Hmmm. I could use a few of these..."

 

Sasami stood at the door to the shuttlebay as it opened. She didn't know who was

coming in, but she waited to greet them. There was a soft hissing noise, and

then she saw something of utter horror. It was big, with a sleek, black body, a

domed, eyeless head, and an evil smile of cruel silvery teeth. It's mouth opened

as it issued forth a hideous squealing sound, revealing a second set of teeth.

Its retractable jaw lunged forward, intending to make Sasami its next meal.

It was stopped by Ayeka's force field, as the elder princess of Jurai, complete

with her team, came into the hall.

"What is that thing?" Lain asked.

"That Jackass is dead," Ukyo said with meaning, throwing several of her spatula

darts at it. They cut deep...unfortunately. Concentrated molecular acid spilled

on the deck, and bounced off of the force field. Fortunately, the hull was

duranium, which made it a bit tougher than most metals; otherwise the acid would

have eaten clear through the bulkhead to open space.

As it was, the thing was still alive, and what was worse was it had now been

joined by four more just like it.

"Running would be a good idea," Ukyo volunteered. The Juraian princesses, one

goddess, and Lain didn't bother voicing an agreement. They just turned and

started running.

"HEY! WAIT FOR ME!!!!" Ukyo screeched, not turning her eyes on the hideous

things, and backpedaling as quickly as she could.

 

Shinji and Bryan were walking the halls with kettles of hot water, unaware of

the presence of the girls on the ship, or even that Ryoga had been found.

"We'll check in here," Bryan said. He opened the hall door, only to be greeted

by one of the Aliens.

"Um...sorry to have bothered you," he said, closing the door again, looking a

lot like George Applebee. Very surprised.  "Washuu and Glyph didn't say anything

about any of those being aboard...Oh hell, now I remember what LV-426 is!"

"I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away," Shinji muttered

over and over to himself.

"Normally, Shinji, I'd be with you on that one. However, in this case, I think

running is a really good idea."

The door began to bulge.

"Running is fine," Shinji said, "I'm just fine with running."

 

Vegeta, Zechs, and REBB appeared on the bridge of the JEDRI.

"Well, at least Instantaneous Movement came in handy here," Vegeta said.

"Hey, weren't you guys on the shuttle?" Andrew asked.

"No. The auto pilot triggered," Zechs said.

"Andrew," REBB spoke up, "Big troubles. Aliens. Big, Sigourney Weaver chasing

Aliens. They may be on the ship."

"Ummmm, Mew? Ideas?"

## Seal the bridge. ##

"What about the others?"

## Use the com system ##

 

"Attention, everyone! There are Aliens on the ship! Find cover!"

Bryan, Shinji, Asuka, Ryoko, Skuld, and Ranma were running down the hall, away

from one of the beasts in question.

"So, how did you guys get here, anyway?" Bryan asked.

"Mom made a dimensional tunnel between ships," Ryoko said, flying.

"I have some things in my lab that can help us kill these things. Where's the

door?"

"Straight ahead!"

Bryan and the others burst into the gateway, only to be followed by the alien.

Fortunately, they were right next door to the lab. Bryan ran in.

"Computer, unseal case J-1!"

"Case J-1 unsealed."

Bryan grabbed several vials, and paced out onto the deck.

"Take this!!!"

He lobbed a vial at the alien, and it was immediately doused.

"Bryan," Asuka said, "Not to question your intellect or anything, but what the

hell good will throwing acid on them do?"

"That wasn't acid. That was Jusenkyo."

They heard a hissing, spitting noise, and where the alien had been was now a

black rabbit.

Bryan and Ranma grinned.

"Never underestimate the power of a cursed spring in China," Ran-chan said in a

philosopher's tone.

 

Rei watched as an Alien charged her and her group. It lunged, squealing as it

came. One of its clawed hands swiped at Rei...only to be repelled by an

invisible wall of force.

"Force fields in place," Shara's voice said, "The creature is contained."

"What is that ugly thing?" Akane asked.

"Looks like Ranma in the morning," Ryoga said. He'd managed to find a set of

clothes to change into somehow in all the confusion.

"Dangerous," Urd said, looking at the alien.

"Make way," they heard Bryan's voice, "Hazardous substance coming through!"

In his hands he carried a black box with a skull and crossbones painted on it.

"Open the force field, please, Shara," Bryan said.

"Are you nuts?"

"Officially, yes," Bryan said, "But this is a sample from my lab."

The field dropped, and Bryan flung the case at the alien, which shot it's

retractable jaw at the case, impaling it. Suddenly, the alien lumbered to one

side, and keeled over. It was dead.

"W-what was that?" Urd asked.

"A sample of Akane's cooking."

He never saw the mallet that got him.

 

They dragged Bryan into the sickbay on the Drummond, having once more crossed

ships. Glyph looked surprised, walking behind them.

"Computer," Rei said, "Activate the EMH."

Kasumi Tendo appeared out of thin air, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Bryan here may have a concussion."

They turned to show Bryan to Kasumi, only to find another mallet planted firmly

on his head.

"And just WHAT is my sister doing as your EMH, you pervert?"

"It's nothing like that!" Bryan said defensively, and Shinji blinked, hearing

his line come from someone else, "I have this natural fear of doctors, so I

wanted someone with a pleasant demeanor and that wouldn't talk down to me.

Kasumi helped me with the core personality."

"I think it's a compliment, she IS the nicest person I have ever found, next to

Belldandy," Glyph smiled. "Why does Bryan have a concussion, if I may ask?"

Bryan pointed to Akane, then said one word, "Cooking."

"Oh dear," Glyph echoed in monotone.

"Bryan, you're as bad as Ranma!"

Glyph tried to not smile. "It seems that REBB is the only one that likes your

cooking, hon. Too bad he can't eat it without problems."

Bryan looked at her wildly. "He LIKES her cooking?" then "What sorta problems

does he have with her cooking?"

Glyph sighed. "He gets gas."

"And that's a problem?" Urd asked.

"Flammable gas. Tendo-san had lit a cigarette when REBB burped, we had to duck

under a table to keep from getting burned."

"Huh?"

" Pardon the pun, it was a natural gas explosion, miniature size. Tendo-san was

a cinder for a few moments."

But then Glyph brought out her light bo, it was very similar to Ryoko's light

sword, but made for battle as a staff.  "Can Zod here take over for a while? I

think you need my help over there." She looked sternly at them.

 

Tenchi, in the meanwhile, was looking at one of the aliens. He had changed into

Juraian royal armor, and he was holding sword Tenchi at his side, with the blade

extended. At least he had a little help. Ryoga was to his left, and was getting

ready to throw some bandannas like shriken. The other boy had found him when the

others had went to help deal with Bryan's injury.

Well, that's kind of what happened...

"What the?!!!"

Actually, he about had wandered into the creatures path, lost again, if Tenchi

hadn't sliced through the one, but still it had a partner. . . and both boys

were getting rather tired. Ryoga hated to admit he might owe the Masaki kid.

They had to hold them off until someone could. . .

"Don't these things quit?" Tenchi grumbled.

"Ida know," Ryoga paused as he threw two more. They struck the creature, only to

cut a little then fall. "They are way ugly though!"

They did hold off the creature. Which didn't seem to tire. But then Tenchi saw

someone with blue hair, no, two people gaining on the creature. He recognized

them! Ryoko was flying, carrying Glyph!

"Shara, forcefield!" Glyph shouted. She released her hold.

She bounced off of it, then slam-dunked what looked like a small jar of water

over the Alien. The forcefield held it there for a few seconds as she got away.

"Shara, drop forcefield!" Then she remembered. "Don't let it get on you guys!"

she yelled.

Ryoga ducked, and pushed Tenchi out of the way. He knew what the water was.

A little black bird suddenly paused, then took off into the corridors. Glyph

heaved for a moment, catching her breath.

"Are you guys okay?" she asked.

Tenchi finally grinned. Then he put up a thumbs-up sign. Ryoga brushed his hair

back, grinning as well.

"Bout time some of that actually came in handy!" he smirked.

 

Pathos mewled in fright. What were they? Where was everybody? He kept hid from a

creature, as it moved down the hall. The pipes were slowing it down.

He spied Lady Ayeka, Sasami, Belldandy, Lain, and Ukyo pinned to one wall,

Ayeka's forcefield was up. Belldandy seemed to be enhancing it. Pathos held his

breath, then very carefully climbed one of the pipes. He balanced on the pipe,

scooting quietly along it.  The creature moved further down, seemingly not

noticing the boy above its head.

" Ayeka, look!" Ukyo whispered.

Ayeka did, and gasped. Pathos clung to the pipe, abruptly afraid. He had closed

his eyes, but then opened them again and continued.

"Acrophobic, oh poor boy," Ayeka sighed.

"Nevermind that, we have to help him before that THING notices him!"

But then Pathos reached the end of the pipe. He slid off, not all that

gracefully, and landed. The Alien swung around. It hissed. Pathos shrieked,

making a mad dash for them.

"Ayeka! Let your force field down to let him in!" Ukyo demanded.

"But what about. . ."

"JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT!!!!"

Ayeka dropped the forcefield. Pathos darted into Ayeka's embrace.

"NOW. . ."

"DON'T! I GOT EM!!!!!!!" Shara snapped on the force field.

The creature halted, coming upon a crackling energy source. Pathos turned to the

sound, his ears flattened against his head.

"Who are you and why didn't you do that sooner?" Lain asked, her eyes alert.

"Lady Ayeka's forcefield prevented me from raising my own. I'm Shara, the

JEDRI's computer."

Ukyo finally smiled. " At least you had a reason, Shara, but what the hell do we

do with these things?"

"Jusenkyo seems to work."

"WE AREN'T IN JUSENKYO, SHARA!" Ukyo snarled.

"Bryan has some samples of water on the Drummond, he had used them on at least

two of the creatures, if you guys find a rather nasty bird or bunny later."

"I guess we're stuck here then," Belldandy murmured.

Then suddenly they discerned four people coming towards them! "Lord Tenchi!"

Ayeka crowed.

"Hey, Ryoga! Over here!" Ukyo yelled.

Glyph and Ryoko both were carrying small vials of water, ready to battle.

"Shara, lower the forcefield!"

Tenchi jumped into the air, just behind the bottle, and above it. It shattered

when the sword went through it.

Then he made to the other side, almost running into Ukyo's legs. The water

doused the creature.

"Oh cool, a puppy!" Glyph laughed, then, "Shara, is that the last one?"

"Yes, I think."

Glyph exhaled, then chuckled. " You think? Oh well, Whew! That'll teach them

never to attack a MST ship, oorrr the stars of anime series! Great work guys,

OMFPH!"

Pathos slammed into her, his hands outstretched over her shoulders. He then

nuzzled into her arm. She saw that his eyes were wide and watering, mainly from

fright.

"Hey, it's okay...they're gone now," Glyph comforted him.

Ryoga though came up to the puppy. "Well aren't you swee... YOW!"  He jumped

back as the dog snarled, and then he checked his hand. That thing didn't find

him friendly. At least there were no teeth marks.

"Jeeeeeeeezzzzzzz! Talk about your junkyard dawgs!" Glyph muttered. "Let's put

them in the brig for now, if we find more."

Shara though did something better. She called the dog, and flashed the smell of

a steak. That way she led the vicious ones away.

 

Ayeka glanced at Ryoga, and then suddenly smacked her forehead. "Oh, the clue!"

Everyone looked at her. "In all the excitement. . . uhm," she turned to Ryoga.

Her eyes were as big and as innocent as a chibi kid. He glanced at her, looking

very surprised.

"Hibiki-san, could you pretty-please, lend me your bandanna?"

"Nani?" This sounded weird to his ears, even if she was speaking Japanese.

Ayeka tried not to sound like he was stupid. "Your bandanna. May I borrow it?"

"Which one?"

Now she looked like she was in puzzlement. "How many are you wearing?" she

asked, sounding like her regular self.

"Y'know, I've never counted," here Ryoga removed one and handed it to her. The

others did look surprised as they saw he did have another one underneath.

"Though I can't figure out either why they keep falling about my neck, or losing

them. . ." he abruptly looked at Ukyo and shut up. "Nevermind."

 

With the danger over, and the crews intermingling, Urd saw her chance to spread

a little romance. She was delighted to see that Tenchi and Ayeka...no, wait,

Tenchi and Ryoko...Tenchi and Washuu...>Damn it, Tenchi, how many girlfriends do

you have, anyway?< Urd sighed.

Then she spotted sweet, cute Ukyo, and Vegeta. She went off to work her charms.

Bryan, meanwhile, was taking several aspirin. The top of his head was wrapped in

gauze, and he had a splitting headache. Glyph winced in finally seeing the

injury extent.

Andrew patted him on the back, then stopped as Bryan grimaced. "Akane has one

hell of a swing there, don't she?"

"Well, at least we know about the Treasure Hunt now," Bryan said.

"Yes, but all that back and forthing you did was strenuous on the gateway,"

Washuu moaned, "I had to reset them. Do you have any idea what sort of time that

takes?"

"Surely it can't be a problem for the number one genius scientist in the

universe," Glyph said, teasing. "Maybe, Bryan, you should ask Ryoga for one of

his bandannas to cover the bandage."

Here Bryan groaned.

Lain, meanwhile, was getting to know Shara better.

"See, I started out as a program myself. I was created to destroy the barrier

between the 'real world' and 'the Wired'."

"But you have a body now?"

"Yeah. The guy who programmed me needed me to be human for it to work."

"Sounds like some other dolls I could name," Asuka sniped, walking by. Then she

spied the cutest guy she'd seen in along time. He looked to be about seventeen.

In typical Asuka fashion, she walked over to introduce herself, "Hiyeee! My

name's Asuka. Asuka Langley Sohryu. And you are?"

"Tenchi. Tenchi Masaki," he offered his hand.

"HEY!" Ayeka piped up, "Just what do you think you're doing? Lord Tenchi is with

me!"

Rei watched. If she were the sort to show emotions, she might have sighed at

that point. Instead, she walked over to where Pathos and REBB were eating, and

made herself a plate.

"You should try the burgers," REBB informed her, "They're really good."

"I'm a vegetarian," Rei said simply.

Belldandy walked over, "Have any of you seen a tall woman with blue hair in

flowing robes?"

Tsunami appeared out of thin air, materializing before the Norn Goddess.

"Oneechan!" They both cried out and hugged.

"I didn't know you guys were related," Bryan said.

"Oh, we're not. We just call each other that. But we Megami tend to run into

each other a lot. We know most of the same higher plane entities and such,"

Belldandy explained.

Ranma turned to Akane, "It's getting late. I'm going back over to the Drummond

to take a shower and get some sleep. We can finish the Treasure Hunt tomorrow."

"Ranma! You promised!"

"Relax. I'll throw cold water on myself after I shower, Ok?"

Akane sighed, "All right. I'll join you in a minute."

"For the last time, I don't want to date him!" Ukyo was heard above the crowd,

"He's a short guy with really bad hair! Besides..." Here Ukyo grabbed a hold of

Ryoga's arm. "I already got a fianc‚."

Ryoga started to say something, but then Ukyo jabbed him in the ribs. It was one

signal he knew how to read. She'd explain later, just shut up.

"Well at least no one ever confused me for the wrong gender," Vegeta said. Urd

must have thought pairing the two of them was a good idea. Glyph winced, hoping

to not have a scene.

"That's right," REBB said, "Vegeta's never been mistaken for a man...I

mean...Oops!"

Vegeta had a vein on his forehead that seemed to be throbbing at an unusual

rate, "REBB, I hope your insurance is paid in full!"

 

Ryoko had come to the Brian Drummond to get some quiet time. She was sitting in

the hangar bay, lying on the Epyon, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She

turned to see Zechs looking at her.

"Anything wrong?" He asked.

"Nah. It's just late. We've still got a bit of partying to do. I'm just beat.

You?"

"All right. I'm heading back over to the JEDRI."

 

Zechs was aboard the JEDRI once more, and he removed his helmet, to reveal his

long, flowing blonde hair and platinum blue eyes. Suddenly, he seemed to be

surrounded by beautiful young girls, all of whom looked at him with big,

innocent kaleidoscope eyes. The only ones unaffected were Glyph, who was holding

onto Andrew, and Rei.

Bryan sighed.

"Surely you're not jealous, Mr. Weber," Glyph asked, a smile on her face.

"Jealous, no," Bryan said grinning, "Dateless, yes. Hmmm. Urd's fond of match

ups. I wonder if she's looking for a date herself..."

"I don't get it. What's he got that we ain't got?" Vegeta asked.

"Shall I list it to you alphabetically, or by a measure of standard?" Glyph

chuckled.

"He's got long hair, a smooth voice, piercing blue eyes, and stands over five

feet tall," Bryan said to Vegeta.

"Besides, I always liked the red- or dark-haired kind," She whispered over to

Andrew, then finally spoke to Vegeta. "And the fact that if you ever got turned

on your head, you'd look like a paintbrush, nothing personal." And here she

asked a long thought about question, in the weirdest sense of the word, "How

does that stay up like that anyway?" she ran her free hand over the top of his

hair.

"Saiya-jin hair is naturally springy," Vegeta intoned.

 

"So what were you guys gonna do anyway, before all the ruckus?" Glyph asked of

Bryan when the others separated for the night.

"Karaoke, I suppose. We were just hanging around really. But why didn't you guys

mention Shara, before?"

"A girl has to keep some secrets," Glyph smiled, but added, "Seriously, we

wanted you guys to think that there was no girls around, and just let you be

yourselves-which I suppose for Shinji and Tenchi, that doesn't happen very

often."

"What the hell was that all about?" they heard coming down the hall. Glyph

sighed. Ryoga sure had a voice that carried. It seemed to do that now.

"Well, it would have looked pretty funny to her if I had grabbed Ran-chan right

about then. Urd thinks of herself as some damn matchmaker. He was still a girl

at that point!" Ukyo snarled back. An argument seemed to be starting.

Bryan winced again, holding the side of his head.

"It's gonna be a loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg night," both Glyph and he

muttered together. Then she laughed, kissed Andrew, then walked through the

gateway. "Hold your ears. HEY, UC-CHAN! MOVE YA ASS! WE GOTTA GO!" she yelled back.

"You have the most perfect timing," Ukyo fumed, running down the hall.

Glyph had ducked in, and steadied herself in front of those that had gone

through.

 

Then she got a look at her watch. It was set for her own time, so when she

yawned she paused.

That can't be right, that would have to mean it was almost four in the morning!

 

She started to head for the quarters she was using for the night. It was just the

whole ship had a smell that she wasn't familiar with-it was a thing she had

picked up from Pathos. It felt a little weird when she realized she was doing

it.

She pulled her shirt over her head, and changed into her nightshirt. Glyph

started to brush her hair out, then rebraided it. She giggled, then got her

roll. And her toothbrush...she began to brush her teeth.

She would miss Pathos being at the foot of the bed. Somehow even yet, his kitten

tendencies still came out in his sleep. If only she could get him to stop

sucking on his thumb.

Glyph bumped into Ryoko in the hall. "Something wrong, Ryoko?" She asked, trying

to keep from spitting toothpaste on the former space pirate.

"Ready for the big late night?" She asked, finally smiling.

"As soon as I can get my mouth rinsed out," Glyph slurred around the paste.

"Then I think we'll..."

A shriek came down the hall.

"AKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNEEEE!!!!!!!"

Glyph and Ryoko stared at each other before running down the hall. Why was Ranma

yelling? Was the martial artist in trouble?

 

"AKKKKAAAAAAAANNNEEEEEE!"

Akane jumped up from where she was rolling out her bedroll.  Ranma! All the

other girls were starting to stare in that direction.

Akane darted  in the direction of the bathroom.

 

Ran-chan was panicked. She ran the water as hot as she could get it without

boiling in a pan. She had done this so many times now she couldn't remember it

being cold.

Akane had to catch herself on the doorframe. "Ranma! What's wrong?"

"Akane, check this for me! PLEASE!" Ranma handed her the ladle bucket. Akane

about dropped it; the water was Hot!

"It's hot! It's hot!" Akane yelped.

"Thanks!" Ranma threw it on herself. "YOW!"

Akane let out a surprised hiss herself. Ranma was still a girl!

Glyph and Ryoko came in the room at about that point, "What's going on?!"

"EEEEEK!!!" Ranma covered herself with a towel, "Knock, will you!"

"Geez, you're as much of a prude as Ayeka," Ryoko muttered.

"That's what you think," Akane whispered.

"Who's yelling?" Ayeka's voice came.

"Ranma's stuck in girl-type," Akane said to Glyph out of Ryoko's earshot.

"HE'S WHAT?! You can't be serious!"

"He who?" Ryoko asked.

"Nevermind," Akane said, "Glyph, this is serious!"

Glyph thought about it, "I'm going to the bridge to talk to call Bryan. Keep

Ranma calm, and don't let any of the others in here."

 

"No," Bryan said from his temporary room on the JEDRI, "I don't have any agents

in my lab that would undo the effects of Jusenkyo, or any that would make them

permanent. Did Ranma have any of Shampoo's Water-Proof Soap?"

Glyph shook her head, "No. And if it wasn't your lab..."

"Ask Washuu if she was fooling with any of my stuff," Bryan said, "And I'll talk

to Ryoga and see if he knows anything about Jusenkyo curses becoming permanent."

 

Belldandy met Glyph as she was coming out of the bridge, "What was all that

yelling just now?"

Glyph had resolved herself to keeping Ranma's secret, but if anyone could help,

then it was Belldandy, "Ranma isn't really a girl, Belldandy. He's a guy who got

a curse put on him. He turns into a girl when he gets splashed with cold water.

Hot water usually undoes it, but at the moment, it's not working."

"Oops."

"Oops? Belldandy, anything that follows after 'Oops' is not a good thing."

"Well, I thought that the evil energy I sensed was the male form, and that the

female form was the proper one, so I took away the effect of hot water."

Glyph sighed in relief, "Great. That explains it...You can fix it."

"Um, not exactly. You see, if it was a curse, then I don't exactly...well...I

can't cast a curse. I'm a Goddess, not a Demon."

Glyph tapped her comm badge, "Bryan, you're never gonna believe this..."

 

"She did WHAT?"

Bryan had been sharing a room with Andrew, who woke up groggily, "Was goan on?"

"Belldandy cured Ranma of his male form."

Andrew blinked, "You're kidding."

"He's not kidding, Drew," Glyph said, "And some of the others are beginning to

ask questions we don't exactly want to answer."

"What about the Dragonballs?" Andrew said. "Didn't you guys have them at some

point?"

"That's right," Bryan snapped his fingers, "Vegeta has them in his quarters.

Shen-Ron can undo it."

"Will Vegeta mind that we use his wish?"

"Are you kidding? I've been trying to get those away from him before he figured

out how to summon Shen-Ron and grant himself immortality."

 

Shen-Ron was an impressive sight, to be sure. Especially cramped in the shuttle

bay of the Drummond.

"I will grant any wish. It shall be only one. Name thy request."

"Shen-Ron," Ranma yelled, "I wish for hot water to turn me into a guy again!"

"So be it."

Shen-Ron's eyes flashed, and then the Dragonballs scattered. Akane poured the

teakettle over Ranma, and he turned into his male form again.

"I'm me again!"

"Um, Ranma," Bryan clapped his hand to his forehead, "Why didn't you ask the

dragon to permanently return you to normal?"

Ranma let out a "D'OH!" that would have made Homer Simpson proud!

 

Some of the other girls looked up from what ever they were doing. "What the heck

was that?" Asuka blurted.

 

Tenchi and Shinji were starting to lie out some blankets that Cypher had

commandeered from his storage on the JEDRI. Since he never slept in a regular

bed like a human, he just kept them in the fire closet.

"Okay, for the bed, who's gonna call it?" he said, taking an American quarter

from his desk.

"Don't matter to me," Shinji offered.

A call of 'tails' came up, just as an odd sound about drowned it out.

"What in the world?" Cypher stopped in mid-motion. He paused, waiting.

 

Shinji got the bed. Tenchi started to cover a nearby beanbag chair.

 

Glyph sighed. At least, it was a problem that they had solved in time. She tried

to smile, and then whispered to Bryan, "It would have ruined the series, anyway,

sheez."

Then she spoke up to Ranma, "You would have had to move your stuff. No way Asuka

or any of the others would have let you back on board. But, hey, you aren't the

kind that likes the easy solution, remember?"

Ranma finally let out a sigh. "You got some points there. Oh well, back to bein'

a girl, I guess."

 

While aboard the Drummond, Bryan stopped by the Arboretum. He invited Glyph,

Rei, and Ayeka with him. Ranma went back to the bathroom to finish his shower.

Akane, this time, stood over the door!

"What is this place?" Glyph asked, surveying what looked like a rainforest in

the middle of the ship.

"Great, isn't it? I have all sorts of alien trees here. This one here," Bryan

stopped at what looked like a magnificent pine, "is a cross between a fir tree

and a Juraian space tree. Ayeka, if you would, please."

Ayeka nodded, and touched the tree with the key to Ryu-oh. It began to shimmer

with all the colors of the rainbow.

"A Christmas tree," Rei noted.

"Not quite. It's Startica Festival on Jurai, and I thought we could all

celebrate together."

 

Aboard the JEDRI, Bryan, after he had returned, and the others engaged in a game

(since guys never sleep until they're about to drop anyway.)

"Alright, who am I?" Vegeta said, and then slipped into an impersonation, "'Fair

ones, no! Lacking suitable male companionship, you have, no doubt, in your

innocence, turned to each other!' "

REBB and Ryoga chortled. Andrew rolled his eyes. Cypher and Bryan sighed.

"Too easy. That's Kuno."

"Hey, howabout this one," Bryan said, " 'Take your Kiss of Death like a man.' "

"That brings back such memories," Ryoga sighed.

"Okay, here's one," Andrew got up, then assumed a hunched over position and made

a very squeaky tone to his voice... "It's rude not to peek."

This time Tenchi groaned. "Good one on my dad."

"I got one," Shinji said, grinning, " 'Don't get me wrong. I'm not here to save

you. It's my sworn duty to kill you.' "

Everyone in the room groaned, "Prince Vegeta."

Vegeta sniffed, "I'm not THAT bad."

"Oh yeah. Anyone else know someone who kept threatening to kill someone, but

never getting around to attempting it?" Ryoga asked.

Bryan, Andrew, and Zechs rolled their eyes and exchanged knowing glances.

"Here's one," Zechs said, " 'Let's shake the dew from this lily!' "

Everyone in the room shuddered. An electronic shiver could be felt coming from

Shara.

"Washuu at her worst," Tenchi said.

 

Now finally some rest, Glyph thought.

 

Yeah, right.

 

Ryoga gave a snort. He and REBB were decidedly bunked together. Well, the big

cybertronian slept in his griffin form in a tight ball while Ryoga had a spot

near the wall.

"Why do I," here he plunked a thick cord attached to an easily matching ankle

bracelet, "gotta wear this for?" It attached to the wall.

"You gotta ask that?" REBB kept his head down. "You're the one with the nickname

of 'houkou baka'!"

Direction less idiot. Ryoga growled.

"What if I have to pee or something?"

REBB didn't even move. "It stretches. I'll take it off in the morning."

"You didn't have to hit me so hard to get it on, though."

"Not the way you fight. And I wasn't about to use water on you, would have been

too large for P-chan."

 

Ryoga settled down. He soon heard the big rumble of the griffin's sleeping

breath, then snoring.

"Damn," Ryoga muttered, putting the pillow over his head, "Should have thought

of ear plugs."

 

Ryoko ran a finger in the dip pile she had one her plate. She noticed the other

girls, chatting, reading, eating, doing each other's hair. Typical girl fare.

Ryoko was getting a little bored. After Glyph had told her that she didn't want

her along to help Ranma, she had threatened to show off that baby picture Washuu

had stashed. Ryoko growled. She was trying to stay on her best behavior...

But this was getting boring.

Ayeka paused, sitting up with a laugh. "If only she knew how annoying that laugh

was..." Ryoko thought.

Ukyo paused for a moment, then sighed in relief, "Whew. For a moment, I thought

Kodachi had made her way here."

But then Ryoko saw her chance. She swiped up a small hair restraint, turned onto

her back, and flicked it like a rubber band. It zinged into the back of Ayeka's

head.

            "OH!" Ayeka yipped, spilling her drink. She turned, noticing the vacant

stare of Ryoko's to the far wall.

            For someone who had extreme power, Ayeka calmly walked up to Ryoko. She

carried her fluffiest pillow.

            "Ryoko, I'm warning you. Glyph doesn't want any fights tonight, so I

suggest you stop..." Ayeka suddenly found a pillow hitting her in the face.

Ryoko though, hadn't moved.

            "You were saying something, AWKK?" she asked.

            Ayeka swung, smacking the pillow into the space pirate's face. Now the

fight was on!

 

            "Please, stop this!" Belldandy started, "Or ..."

            She didn't have time to finish. Both Ayeka and Ryoko fopped her with their

weapons of choice, pillows! Everyone had started to duck.

            Ukyo blurted, "Hey! PILLOW FIGHT!"

                Rei sat on a couch, reading a book. She dodged the occasional

stray pillow without looking, until she felt a tapping on her shoulder.

                "Guten Abend, Wonder Girl," Asuka smiled, bringing down her

pillow. Rei threw herself backwards, unintentionally pushing Ayeka off course,

away from Ryoko and into Washuu.

                "Oh, so it's a fight ya want, eh?" Washuu pulled out two large

pillows, "Prepare for the awesome might of my super-dimensional pillows, then."

               "You are the greatest, Washuu," Yes Doll A said.

               "You are a geniu...skwark!!" Yes Doll B was hit with a pillow

wielded by Rei Ayanami.

               "I had to do it!" Rei said defensively, receiving cheers from all

present.

            Everyone looked at each other and started throwing pillows.

            Sasami giggled as she swung up another one. Then Belldandy joined in. By

then, all but the missing trio were making feathers fly everywhere.

 

            Glyph sighed. She had met the two martial artists in the hall, and they

were sharing over a joke. She actually felt great. Maybe a little rest and

then...

            "What in the world?" Akane blurted.

            Glyph saw the feathers flying from the doorway. What happened, Skuld or

Washuu had tried to explode a chicken? Was it any one of the Megami sisters?

            Skuld's laugh was very loud.

 

            Glyph banged open the door. Everyone halted.

            Feathers started to settle over the scene.

"What are you guys doing? I said no-fippmPHHHHHH!"

>From somewhere, a pillow banged her in the face, causing her to fall back out

of the door.

A collective gasp came from the room. Who had thrown that? Ranma-chan bent over

her, looking very alarmed.

Glyph sat up, holding her head. "Ow!" she grated out. Everyone held their

breath.

But the young woman stood, walked into the center of the room.

Akane and Ranma stayed in the doorframe.

"All right guys," Glyph ground out. She sounded mad!

 

"HAVE AT IT!" she yelled, laughing. She threw the pillow at Rei.

Then they all were back to swinging pillows and laughing.

The two martial artists at the door shrugged, and then jumped in.

 

"See? I told you this would be fun!" Akane yelled over the screams.

 

Tenchi reawoke when the door slid open. He jerked further awake, when he heard

the slight patter of feet.

Shinji was also started waking, but by something landing softly on his feet.

He felt the thing settle, and then he sat up.

"Tenchi?" he hissed, "You awake?"

"Yes," Tenchi blurted. Only to be hushed by Shinji.

"What is by my ankles? Can you see?"

Tenchi sat up as well; he stared at the end of the bed.

"Well?"

"Can't tell, it's got its face covered. And in a blanket." Tenchi got closer and

whispered. "Wait, ah, it's Pathos!"

"Pathos?! But doesn't he have his own room?"

Pathos gave a cat-like stretch, then curled up with a thumb in his mouth. Shinji

almost wanted to finally laugh. Except that his left foot was going to sleep.

"Apparently, he sleeps where it's warm, and safe," Tenchi broke into a smile.

They watched as the cat-boy snoozed.

"Umm, are you thirsty, by any chance?" Shinji asked.

They both slipped out into the corridor.

 

Ryoga finally had had enough. He also had to get a drink of water. Where in the

world was the bathroom, anyway?

He got up, and walked to the door. The cord responded accordingly, and he

stopped.

"I wonder how far this will stretch?" he smiled. He started to walk.

 

And walk.

And walk.

 

Shinji and Tenchi had found the Mess Hall, and had replicated themselves some

drinks. Tenchi picked up a mixture of milk, honey, and a little vanilla. Shinji

had what looked to be Kool-aid.

"This is rather nice," Tenchi murmured.

"Do you think Cypher would mind if we took this back to his room?" Shinji asked.

Tenchi shrugged.

They had walked a few feet down the hall when they spotted Ryoga coming towards

them. He seemed to be all right, but what was the bit about the ankle? Tenchi

wondered.

"Hi guys, where did you find those?" he asked, starting to smile.

"Back there, Mess hall." Shinji looked down. "What is with the bracelet? They

don't trust you?"

Ryoga sighed. "Apparently not with directions."

"Beg pardon?"

"Never mind. Do you guys mind if I hang with you for a while? REBB snores like a

badly tuned chain-saw!"

"Well, we weren't ready to sleep yet, either," Tenchi chuckled, remembering

Pathos. "We were going to watch one of those movies upstairs. Care to join us?"

"Do you think you guys can remove this first?"

 

Tenchi bent over the ankle bracelet. What sort of writing was this? He noticed

the marks and circles. They didn't fit any Japanese structure, or roman. But

then he spotted one single 'R'.

"I don't recognize the other lines, but there is an 'R', do you think it can

stand for 'release'?"

Ryoga shrugged. "Ida know, try it."

 

Those four words sealed his fate.

 

Tenchi had blinked. One minute Ryoga had been standing next to him, the

next...there was a sharp twang, a weird thump, a surprised yelp, a rush of wind,

and the sound not unlike a Great Dane trying to stop on a slick linoleum floor!

(Ryoga's fingernails!) Even Mihoshi could not have planned it better!

Shinji gasped, "Uhm, could that also have stood for 'retract'?"

They both watched helplessly as two of Ryoga's bandannas and his left house

slipper landed (the ankle bracelet had been on his right foot) on the corridor

floor. Ryoga let out a yell as his thigh slammed into a floor grate.

Shinji finally brushed the shock away. "Uh, Tenchi, when he stops, you'd better

hide."

"Why?"

"Because he's gonna kill you." Shinji suddenly winced as Ryoga let out another

yelp, and then tried to hold onto the corridor wall as the cord zipped around a

corner. "That's going to leave a mark!"

 

Bryan had decided to get some more painkillers from the infirmary aboard the

JEDRI. Sleeping with a headache didn't help. And he had to get up in the morning

to repair the damages the Aliens had caused, or Glyph would be very, VERY upset.

He noticed a thin, taunt cord in the hall. It was red in color, and was about a

couple of inches off the floor. This was curious! Was it some sort of alarm

system?

He stepped over it. Nothing happened.

"Shara?" Nothing. "Hey, Shara!"

"What do you want?"

"You wouldn't happen to know what this is about?"

"What is?"

Bryan suddenly stopped as the cord started to move, very fast, zipping down the

corridor past his nose.

"Bryan, I wouldn't stand there." Shara abruptly blurted.

Bryan didn't hear her. He just started to recognize the shape.

>WHAMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<

He was dragged for a few feet, and then dropped.

"Sorrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" he heard before blacking out.

 

"Bryan, Bryan!" Shara attempted when he didn't move. "Yoo-hoo, Weber-san! Up

an'attem, babycakes!"

He didn't respond. "Boy, that's gonna hurt when he wakes UP!" she muttered.

 

WHAP! Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttthhhump!

Ryoga hit the wall, and fell onto his sleeping bag. He paused for a moment, then

moved.

"OW!" he turned his neck. "OW. Ow. Owowowowowowowowowowowowow!"

"You found the 'retract' button, didn't you?" REBB yawned as he rolled over.

 

 

Shara was getting worried. Bryan wasn't waking up. She called one of the

scutters over.

Scutters were an idea REBB and Washuu picked up from another ship. Some were

shaped like little cranes, others like insects.

Shara called one cleaning scutter up, it clung to the wall with all eight

section cupped feet. It moved quietly down the wall. And it climbed over Bryan

to his face.

When he felt the water, Bryan blinked. One of his glasses lens had popped out of

the frame, intact. What was the number of that freight train? He then stared

down at his chest.

It looked like a reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee big

spider.

"S-shara?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I drink or eat anything tonight that would be causing me to hallucinate?"

"Nope."

"Right. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The spider skittered away.

"It was only a robot, Bryan," Shara said soothingly, "You're ok."

"If it's alright with you, I think I'm going to go to sickbay and pass out now."

"No, it's not all right."

 

The Kasumi hologram was tending to several bruises and bumped heads. She placed

a bandage over Sasami's nose.

"It's all in fun until someone gets hurt," she intoned.

"She started it!!" Ayeka pointed at Ryoko.

"Did not!" Ryoko responded, sticking out her tongue.

Just then Lain came in the room, "Zod's working again."

"And not a moment too soon," Zod said, "Glyph, I've been trying to warn you guys

since Skuld took me offline! I'm reading a bio-signature in the transporter logs

that arrived in Ranma's baggage! My files on his world are incomplete, but

something tells me that..."

"Hey, has anyone seen my...um...delicates?" Asuka asked, "I was going to take a

shower and change into my nightie, but my stuff is missing."

A few other girls were starting to complain that some of their stuff was

missing, too. The bad part was...it was the undergarments.

Glyph, Akane, and Ranma exchanged a knowing glance.

"We dumped P-chan," Akane muttered.

"But the freak made it," Ranma finished.

"I take it we're all thinking the same person."

"He wouldn't pass up an opportunity like this," Ranma nodded, "How he found out

is beyond me."

"He must have overheard me talking to Nabiki about it," Akane said, "That or he

just saw us packing, and decided to tag along."

Rei came in the room wearing a pair of flannel pajamas that had little dancing

Pen-Pens on them. Held in one hand at a distance by the scruff of his neck was

the founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Happosai.

"I found him trying to peek at me," She said in her usual monotone.

"Aw, c'mon, Rei. Just a quick cry on your...>WHAPANG<"

"Thank you, Washuu," Glyph said, looking at the large Tanooki that Happosai was

now buried under. A few cheers started.

"No sweat. Shall I vaporize him now?"

"No, I have a better idea," Ranma said, and then whispered in Glyph's ear.

"Ranma, I don't like it when you get that look on your face," Happosai said,

tears welling up in his eyes, "You're gonna be mean to me, aren't you?" Somehow,

Washuu grabbed him by the collar. Her smile, the one she gets when she sees the

words 'test subject' on their forehead, made Happy a bit nervous.

"Oh REBB," Glyph contacted her ship in a sing-song tone, "I have a favor to ask

of you."

 

Vegeta, REBB, Andrew, a very sore Ryoga, and Bryan were waiting when Happosai

arrived through the gate. From the trajectory, it seemed like several of the

girls had decided that he would make a great soccer ball.

"And I thought the old man on MY show was a hentai," Vegeta shook his head and

crossed his arms, clucking in disappointment.

"Nice one...Happy," Ryoga snarled.

"You've been very, very bad," REBB said, his flame thrower clicking for effect.

"If you had peeked at my sweetheart, I'm gonna beam you into a supernova,"

Andrew said, cracking his knuckles.

"Happosai," Bryan started, "I have a headache. I've been hit by Akane, twice,

and flattened by Ryoga."

"That wasn't under my own power!" the martial artist interjected. Loudly. And

not looking at Bryan.

Bryan continued, "I haven't slept in nearly twenty-four hours. I'm a bit cranky.

Give me an excuse, and I'm shoving you out the airlock."

Amazingly, the rest of the night passed without incident.

"You sure that's enough rope?" Bryan asked sarcastically of Ryoga.

"Ida know," the martial artist tugged, tying down hard the knot, "Do you know

where a few more meters are at then?"

Andrew finally gave a smile. "Well, I had figured you'd be the one that knew how

to tie knots, with all the camping you do. I was only in the Boy Scouts for two

months."

Happosai had no comment. But then it's a little hard to talk through a gag...

Ryoga sat back, wiping at his brow. "Whew!"

Andrew sighed. "You sure that he'll be okay in here with you?"

The large griffin settled on the floor. The beak snarled. "Yeah, the littl' perv

will find it hard to sleep with the lights off anyway in here."

"Do you mind sleeping with us then?" Andrew asked of Ryoga. Bryan looked a

little concerned.

 

Aboard the Drummond, the girls were sleeping in groups of two. Leaving Old Happy

to the boys sure had made it an easier night. Glyph stretched before tucking her

blanket closer to her head. She listened to the other girl's comments.  Ayeka

and Ukyo, Sasami and Skuld (with Ryo-Ohki), Belldandy and Urd, Ryoko and Akane,

Ranma and Lain, Rei and Asuka, and Glyph and Washuu. Each match up seemed to

work fine.

"Hey, Ukyo, are you asleep?"

"No."

"How is it that you and Akane get along so well?"

"We have our moments, but for the most part, we don't really feel we have

anything to fight about."

"Even though...you are engaged to the same person?"

"Well, they were set up by agreement of our fathers...then there's the other

nutcases that keep barging in, so we don't fight between us as often. That I had

been Ranma's friend for years, I hate to lose hi-I mean-her friendship first."

Here Ukyo paused. "They're cousins, I think." she lied.

 

"Rei, do I snore?"

"No."

"You're sure."

"Yes."

"Absolutely sure?"

"Asuka, go to sleep, or I'm setting off Third Impact ahead of schedule."

 

"Glyph, have you ever thought about participating in an experiment as a test

subject?"

Glyph sighed, "Washuu, if you continue with this line of questioning, I'm going

to have to bop you one in the head. How many times do I gotta say NO?"

 

Ranma was already snoring.

 

Sasami flipped the blanket over her head to read the manga she had borrowed from

Glyph. She muffled her giggle.

 

"Where on Earth am I now?" Ryoga muttered, keeping it down since the others were

sleeping.

"GET OUT OF OUR ROOM, YOU PERVERT!" Ryoko yelled, throwing things at Ryoga. Then she growled. "How did he do that? We sealed the gate after we sent the old man through."

Ryoga mumbled, just as he had his back to them. "I'd like to know, too!"

Then Ryoko clocked him with a clock!

"Ow! I'm going!" he barked, then yelped. "Hey, watch it with the lighting bolts,

lady!"

He paused out in the corridor, but not for long. Oddly, he was wearing the

bracelet, over his wrist.

 

Glyph giggled, then started to hum softly... it sounded a little like "Kimi No

Carrot Cake".

 

"Hey, why didn't you wait till I got here?" Andrew sighed when he found Ryoga

gasping for air. "And from the singed look of your pants, you must have walked

in on Ryoko at some point."

"Didn't remember she could go through doors," he finally gave a half-smile.

Andrew then let out a yawn, to which Ryoga followed suit.

 

"Well, Radar, let's get to bed," Andrew stretched as he opened his door. Bryan

seemed to be already snoring.

"What's with the Radar bit?"

"All clear, Hawkeye," Bryan muttered in his sleep. Ryoga shrugged, and unrolled

his sleeping bag. Andrew was thankful that he didn't have to answer the

question. Everyone knew that Ryoga's sense of direction was anything but. Still,

he was a bit sensitive on that subject. That was why he called him Radar,

Ryoga's was really messed up.

In no time at all, they were all sound asleep and snoring.

 

Chapter 2

Index