Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 7

Shampoo stared aimlessly at the waves. She'd arrived in the
freighter on schedule and had expected to have seen Ranma's
group by now. But somehow, they still weren't here yet.
She moved away from the harbour and walked through the
town. No crashes. No bangs. No yells of "Hentai" or
"Kawaiikune". Noone flying through the air with the
greatest of ease. It was incredible how quiet it was with
none of the Nerima group about. She checked her watch.
Then her calender.

"They _very_ lost."

***

In their rooms in Hangzhou, Ryoga, Mikado and Ukyou slept
the sleep of the exhausted (or the dead drunk, in the cases
of Ryoga and Ukyou). Elsewhere in the motel, Kiyone played
poker with Nabiki and Miya for one yen coins. Currently
Nabiki was ahead by 200 yen. Godai and Suka were chowing
down on what was left of the evening meal (which was _not_
okonomiyaki, thank the kami) while Konatsu washed his hair.
Meanwhile, Akane and Ranma were taking a walk in the cool
evening air.

"I can't believe we made it here in one piece! And in
record time!" said Ranma. "Who'd've thought that if you
wanted Ryoga to come when you called all you had to do
was apply vast amounts of alcohol."

"Yes, but he's going to have a massive hangover when he
wakes up," pointed out Akane.

"Ah, he's tough, he'll survive."

"What about Ukyou?"

Ranma considered this. "I think I've got some aspirin
somewhere." He laughed. "Maybe it'll teach them not to
do it again."

"I don't know," said Akane teasingly. "Negative
reinforcement through pain's never been overly
successful in your case."

"What?"

"No matter how often I hit _you_ you keep making the
same mistakes," said Akane. Ranma grinned sheepishly,
then yawned. "Shall we turn in?" he asked.

"Okay," Akane said nervously. "It was nice of the
others to let us have this one room to ourselves."

"Eh heh." agreed Ranma. "I could have done without all
the winking and nudging though. Well, at least it has
separate beds."

Akane nodded, "That's best. But, once we're married."
Their eyes caught and held in the moonlight.

***

Ryoga dimly awoke. His mouth tasted like he'd been
eating mouldy old carpet. He looked around him and didn't
recognise anything. Nothing new there. Everything must
be alright then. He almost went back to sleep when a
loud snore shattered the silence. Opening one eye he
looked over at Ukyou's sleeping form. *Hard to believe
a noise like that came from a girl*, he thought. The
noise erupted again.

*Hmmmm... seems to be coming...* with great effort,
he twisted his head around. Lying directly next to him,
Mikado Sanzenin peacefully snored into his ear.

*Oh... it's Mikado...*

"NANI?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" with a shriek Ryoga sat
up. He was lying in a double bed - with Mikado Sanzenin.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

*WHANG* "Shut up stupid," Ukyou murmured in her sleep,
and turned over. Ryoga sat up, the spatula curved
around his head. He gently lifted it off and carefully
ripped it into little pieces. *Okay... we're in a motel.
We're on a trip. I got drunk... drunk... Drunk sounds
like a good idea right now. Where's the bar?*

Quietly, he made his way out of the room in search of
alcohol.

Unfortunately, he found some.

***

Akane murmured and turned over, sinking ever closer to
oblivion. In the next bed, Ranma was already snoring.
She smiled and prepared to surrender to sweet morpheus.

"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN HENTAI?"

"What in the?"

Ryoga was feeling no pain. Everything was clear to him
now. In one hand, he clutched an empty bottle of scotch.

"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN HENTAI?" he sang loudly.
"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN HENTAI, EAR-LY IN THE
MORNING???!!!
PUT HIM IN THE ROOM WITH THE TENDO'S DAUGHTER
PUT HIM IN THE ROOM WITH THE TENDO'S DAUGHTER
PUT HIM IN THE ROOM WITH THE TENDO'S DAUGHTER EAR-LY IN
THE MORNING...
WAY HEY... UP SHE BOOTS HIM..." he carolled happily.

Akane was aghast. The _noise_!

"Ranma!" she yelled.

"Nrgh. What, are we under attack? Is it the Americans?"
Ranma struggled awake. "Oh god, not cats singing!"

"No, it's Ryoga, he's singing something... I think. It
sounds like English." said Akane. "Although I caught
the word 'hentai'."

"Oh man." Ranma shook his head. "I can't believe he's
still concious. He's tougher than I thought."

"What he is, is LOUD." said Akane, picking up her
glass of water from the bedside table. "He sounds like
a whole tribe of cats in heat. And I know how to deal
with noisy cats!"

Ryoga had finally found Akane's bedroom window. How
romantic! He would serenade her by moonlight.

"Haike... Akane...AGH!"

A shower of water landed on him and his form quickly
dwindled beneath it. "Bweeeeeee... *hic*"

"That seems to have gotten rid of him," said Akane,
closing the window. "Honestly. And here I thought he
was a responsible person."

Ranma rolled his eyes and wondered briefly if he
should go rescue the pig. But then he remembered how
nice and warm it was in this bed and went back to
sleep instead.

***

A very drunk piglet made a beeline for his motel
room.

"Bweeeee... *hic*" he said sorrowfully. Curse his damned
luck! He was doomed! Doomed to wander alone! *Hic*. He
nosed open the door.

Ukyou stirred. *Water... must have water...* She staggered
upright and headed for the bathroom. *Squish*

"Bweeee!!!!!!"

Ukyou looked down. *Huh. Piglet. Ryoga. Hot water. Water...
thirsty...* She grabbed the piglet by its bandanna and
carried it into the bathroom. Slinging it into the shower
she turned on the hot water. Then she headed to the hand
basin, drank water straight from the tap for a couple of
minutes, and headed back to bed. Ryoga threw his head back
and swallowed some of the water out of the shower, then
stumbled and headed back to bed, collapsing straight into
sleep.

***

The next morning.

"Ohhhh..." Ukyou moaned. "My _head_."

"Ssssssshhhhhh..." said Ryoga. "Not so loud, it sounds
like you're yelling right in my ear." He buried his head
under the pillow. Ukyou's head bounced off the bed and
hung off the edge. She clasped the blanket firmly
around her and moved back onto the bed. "What in the
world?" she opened her eyes and immediately regretted
it. The dim light felt like a sledgehammer to the back
of her brain. The only compensation was the knowledge
that Ryoga must feel worse, what with being naked
and wet and everything. Hang on a second... She reviewed
that last thought.

"Ryoga?"

"Shhhhhh!!!!"

"Ryoga," she whispered.

"_What??!!!_"

"Why are you naked and in my bed?"

Ryoga thought over that question. "I'm not." he replied.

Ukyou opened an eye cautiously. "Yes you are." she said.

"Can't be, D'never do something like that." Ryoga snuggled
into the covers. "Now let me die in peace." He tucked the
covers more closely around him.

"A_hem_," said Ukyou. "Those are MY blankets! Gimme!" She
gave them a firm tug. Ryoga refused to let go and wound
up pressed against her. *Great, now my shirt's going to
be all wrinkled* she thought.

"Man, I feel great after all that sleep!" Mikado announced,
sitting up and stretching.

"SSSSSHHHHHH!!!!" said Ryoga. "Shut up!" He continued to
wrestle with Ukyou for the blankets. Mikado considered the
forms of Ryoga and Ukyou. "Ummm... if you two want to be
left alone..." he said cautiously.

"Whatever, just be quiet!" snapped Ukyou.

"NOT SO LOUD!" Ryoga begged her. "And let go of the
blankets!"

"But they're _MIIIIIIINE_." she yelled straight into his
ear. "And this is MY bed! Get out of my bed!"

"I'm not IN your bed," said Ryoga. "I would never do
that. You're drunk."

"_I'M_ drunk???!!!" Ukyou sat up. "Ow my head!"

Mikado stared at them, there was one single thought going
through his head. *I can't believe she decided to go with
HIM instead of ME.*

Ukyou whapped Ryoga on the shoulder. "Listen you baka,
you ARE in my bed. And furthermore, you are naked."

Ryoga sat up. "Look, if I was naked in your bed. I would
be right next to you and not wearing any clothes." he
stared into her eyes.

"OH MY GOD I'M NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES!!!!!" he screamed.
"WHAT AM I DOING IN YOUR BED???!!!"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Ukyou said peevishly. *Hang
on a second.*

"You PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mikado fled the room as World War III erupted.

***

Ryoga sat in the corner of the dining room and ate his
cereal quietly. Kiyone sat down opposite him.

"Konnichiwa, Ryoga-kun." she said. "How are you feeling?"

Ryoga didn't look up. "Fine." he mumbled.

Kiyone frowned. "Ummm... I don't mean to pry, but... you
have the best black eye I've seen on _anyone_ for a long
time. Did you and Ranma have a fight, we heard some sort
of rumpus earlier on."

Ryoga looked at her. "I had a disagreement with one of my
co-workers, it got a bit violent."

"Ahhh... " Kiyone nodded. "You and Ukyou had another fight."

Ryoga flushed. "Yeah."

"Ryoga, you two have to make peace, otherwise this tour
won't go anywhere." Kiyone smiled. "Believe me, I know
_all_ about working with people you find... uh... difficult."

Ryoga thought about Kiyone's words. "Hn." He finished his
breakfast, then got up. "Arigato, Kiyone."

"No problem." Kiyone smiled after him. *He's so sweet.*

Ryoga cautiously approached Ukyou who was staring out of
the window, a thoughtful look on her face. It may be noted
that if Ryoga hadn't been so worried about his apology he
would have noticed that look and left, Ukyou only looked
like that when she had a plan, a plan that inevitably used
Ryoga. However, none of this occurred to Ryoga as he stood
beside her and cleared his throat. Ukyou turned and smiled
at him.

"Hey, suger! I was just thinking about you."

"Ukyou, I want to apolo... what?"

"Yes." Ukyou beckoned him closer. "I have a really good
idea for today."

"Oh?" Ryoga was befuddled by her change in mood. "Ummm...
you're not mad about this morning?"

"Huh? Oh. No, not anymore." Ukyou grinned, there was a
mischevious glint in her eyes. "We have more important
things to worry about."

"L-like?"

"How we are going to break up Akane and Ranma today."

Ryoga glanced in Akane's direction, she was eating
breakfast with Konatsu and Godai. His heart thumped.
She looked so happy, so animated.

"Ok," Ukyou said. "you are going to ask Akane to go
with you to the Temple of Inspired Seclusion because
you've heard how wonderful it is, but you need someone
to take you."

"But I've already seen it, seven times!" protested Ryoga.

"Ryoga!" Ukyou glared at him. "You have _never_ seen it."

The threat of a prolonged spatula pounding gleaming in
Ukyou's eyes made Ryoga back down. "Okay." Then he caught
the flaw in the plan. " I have to _ask_ Akane?"

"Hai."

"B-but... Ukyou, y-you know... "

"Grrrrr... " Ukyou thumped his shoulder. "Be a man! You're
not sixteen _now_, there's now excuse for being so... so
_wimpish_!"

"I am _not_ a wimp!" snapped Ryoga. "You'll see, I'll ask
her!"

He stode over to Akane who had just stood up from the
table.

"Akane-san!"

Akane smiled up at him. "Oh, ohayoo, Ryoga-kun!" she said
brightly.

Ryoga swallowed as he nearly drowned in her big brown eyes.
His brain froze.

"Ryoga?" Akane frowned. "Are you okay?"

Ryoga tried to pull himself together. "N-no... I'm g-genki,
just totally genki... yeah."

"That's... good." Akane made to leave.

"Akane-san!" Ryoga blurted. "I have a favour to ask!"

Akane blinked. "Sure, Ryoga-kun."

Blushing furiously, twiddling his thumbs, Ryoga made his
request. "I was wondering... that is... if you wanted... "

"Yes?"

Ryoga took a deep breath. "If you would take me to the
Temple of Inspired Seclusion."

"Well, I... " Akane looked confused. "Why me?"

Ryoga gulped. "Well... I need... I need someone to guide
me. I've heard how great it is and... and I haven't been
there before."

"Hmmm... " Akane thought for a moment, then she smiled.
"Okay, yes, it sounds like fun."

Ryoga stared at her in happy shock. Bells and whistles
were going off in his head. An excursion with Akane! And
_only_ Akane!

"Ryoga? Are you sure you're okay?"

"Hai." Ryoga made motioning movements. "Ready, go lets."

"Right." said Akane dubiously.

***

Ranma yawned and stumbled into the dining room. Ryoga's
drunken song had been in his head when he woke up and he
was not in the best of moods.

"Stupid Ryoga." he muttered. "What did that pig think he
was doing? Idiot."

"Ranchan!"

Ranma jumped slightly as Ukyou popped up in front of him.

"Gyah! Ucchan, don't _do_ that to me!"

"Gomen gomen." Ukyou smiled cutely. "D'ya want to help me,
Ranchan?"

"Like what exactly?" Ranma asked as he helped himself to
breakfast.

Ukyou sighed sadly. "I need to get a new stereo."

"A _what_?"

"Stereo. You know, plays music and... "

"I know what it is. Why do you need one here?"

"Well, I thought it would be nice to have some music on
the bus, to help the journey along."

"Yes, I agree with you." Ranma inhaled his food. "Why didn't
you buy a bus with a built-in stereo?"

"This one was the cheapest." Ukyou beamed at him. "Besides,
this would give me a chance to spend some time with my _best_
friend."

Ranma shrugged. "Okay, at least its better than looking
at clothes. Let's go round up Akane and go."

"Oh, she already left." Ukyou tried to sound surprised that
Ranma didn't know, and casual at the same time.

"She did? Without telling me? Where'd she go?" Ranma asked.

"I don't know," Ukyou said. "She just left twenty minutes
ago."

"Hn," said Ranma. "Oh well, I guess I'll see her later."
He stood up, "Shall we go?"

"Okay!" Ukyou grabbed his arm and they left for town.
*Yes! YES! YES!!!!!*

***

That evening, Ukyou wandered despondently into the
dining room. Ryoga was already sitting there, head in his
hands, he was glowing a faint green. Ukyou tapped him on
the shoulder. "Didn't work huh?"

Ryoga looked up at her. "Nope, you?"

Ukyou sighed. "Well, we got a karaoke machine."

"Karaoke machine?" he repeated dumbly.

Ukyou sighed again and sat down. "We got sidetracked. What
happened was this..."

Flashback to earlier this morning: Ranma and Ukyou wander
into a couple of sound system stores. They move around all
the soundsystems, comparing prices, then start trying out
the features that they each have. Until...

"Hey look, this one has a karaoke function!"

The rest of the day is spent 'testing' karaoke machines,
culminating in the purchase of a small, black, expensive
unit, which they then lug back to the bus and install.

"Yeah. We had a good time." said Ukyou. "Like... friends."

"You were lucky," said Ryoga glumly.

Flashback: Walking up to the Temple of Inspired Seclusion.
Ryoga and Akane looking around. Akane pauses to admire a
statute when suddenly Ryoga spots a monk he knows waving
at him.

"<Welcome back!>"

*Ack!* "Hey look, doesn't that... lake look nice! Let's
go there!"

They tromp down and admire the lake. Ryoga is breathing
easier when...

"Let's go on the ferry!"

The rest of the afternoon is spent cowering in the middle
of the ferry, in terror, while Akane stands at the rails
and admires the view.

Ryoga and Ukyou sighed. "This is harder than we thought."
said Ukyou. "I think I'm going to have to think of a new
plan."

Ryoga groaned.

*** 

 

Chapter 8

Index