Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 6

***

Nerima: Tendo Dojo

Dr Tofo Ono stretched and wandered onto the balcony.
"Such a nice morning." he said to himself.

A gurgle of laughter caused him to look around. *I am
so lucky* he thought as he looked at his children playing
on the mat. *Thank goodness I managed to gather up the
courage to _ask_ Kasumi to marry me.*

Alright, so the actual proposal had taken him two hours to
choke out, but once he had spoken the words she had just
smiled in her sweet way and accepted him. As if by magic,
at that moment, all his shyness had disappeared and he was
able to talk to her without stuttering and making a general
fool of himself -which had made conversation _much_ easier.

Tofu chuckled and turned his attention back to the gardens.
"So peaceful." he murmered.

"NO!!!!!"

He jumped at the shout. *Kasumi*. He ran down to the genken
where he saw Kasumi confronting her father and Mr Saotome
who where both wearing backpacks.

Dr Tofu frowned. His normally peaceable wife had her hands
on her hips and a cross expression on her lovely face.

"Don't you dare, Otosan! I will _not_ let you interfere in
Akane and Ranma's life anymore!"

"K-kasumi... " stuttered Soun as astonished as Tofu at this
diplay of temper.

"I mean it." Kasumi's tone was stern. "It's bad enough that
Nabiki is with them without the two of you turning up to
throw things into chaos!"

"We just want to help!" protested Soun.

"I'm amazed that Akane and Ranma have come as far as they
have with all your 'help'." Kasumi shook her head and glanced
at Genma. "You know that Nodoka-san would agree with me if
she was here."

Genma flinched.

"You are both going to stay right here!" Kasumi commanded and
pointed to the stairs. "Now go and unpack and come down for
lunch."

Soun and Genma looked at each other and sighed. Kasumi
watched as they ascended the stairs, then she turned around
and saw Tofu. Her face relaxed into it's normal sweet
expression.

"Hello dear. Can I do anything for you?"

"Iie, kimi." Tofu answered, then he smiled. "Well handled."

Kasumi smiled back. "I have to prevent Otosan from doing
silly things, and with Auntie Nodoka away visiting I have to
be stern with them. Sometimes they are just like the twins."

Tofu took her hand. "You are very good, Kasumi." He kissed
her.

Kasumi blushed. "Oh my."

***
China, Zhejiang province:
Main road to Hangzhou.

"Lunch break!"

Kiyone got off the bus and stretched. "Ahhhh... these roads
are a little bumpy!"

Nabiki put on her sunglasses. "I think it's just Mikado's
driving." she said. She pulled out two cans of sake from
her purse. "Here."

Kiyone caught the can and looked at dubiously. "Isn't it a
little early?"

Nabiki opened the can and took a sip. "No. I need it so I
can cope with another meal consisting of okonomiyaki and
_only_ okonomiyaki."

Kiyone made a face. "Okonomiyaki again? I like it, but apart
from the odd stop at a local place, it's all we've been
eating!" She drank some of the sake. "Why don't we ask Ukyou
to cook something else?"

"Do you want to be struck by that titanic spatula of hers?

"She wouldn't."

"She might. Okonomiyaki is her life."

"Oh dear."

Ranma moved swiftly and gracefully through a short kata,
working out the kinks caused by the inactivity. Nearby Godai,
Suka and Miya watched.

"Wow." murmered Godai. "He's so good. Wish I could do that."

"It doesn't look hard." Miya said.

Suka smiled. "It's a _lot_ harder than it looks. Mitsuru
took me through some paces once and I nearly died." he paused
before adding. "Then again he hit me in some rather sensitive
places."

"I thought you were supposed to do kata's in synch not against
each other."

Ranma yelled over his shoulder. "How else are you supposed to
learn?"

Suka smiled. "Funny. Mitsuru said exactly the same thing."

Ranma turned his attention back to the kata. *I have to
admit Suka and Miya look like they could handle themselves
in a fight* he thought as he punched the air, *Kiyone too,
for that matter*, he turned and blocked, *Wouldn't put any
money on Godai though.*

Konatsu strolled around the picnic area, occasionally doing
the odd kick, it was so good to get off that bus! And away
from that annoying Mikado! Konatsu frowned, this trip was not
going right. So far he had not had any time alone with his
beloved Ukyou-sama, he had not been able to share the magic
of China with her, all his time had been spent trying to
avoid Mikado.

"Konatsu-chan!"

And failing. *Rats! Time to go for a run.* Konatsu broke
into a fast run and zoomed into the trees. *Ha! Under cover
like this I am undertectable!* Konatsu smiled smugly as he
utilised his ninja training to hide from the persistant
Mikado.

"Konatsu-chan! Matte... ow!... matte kudasai!"

Ukyou watched Konatsu zoom off into the trees with Mikado
in hot pursuit and shook her head. "You have to admire a
guy like that sometimes. He's been driving all day and he
still has enough energy to chase poor Konatsu." She turned
to Ryoga an amused smile on her face.

He wasn't listening. He was standing by the kitchen bench,
the knife he had been using to chop up ingredients was
slowly being crushed as he looked out the window at Akane
going through her kata. *So graceful, so strong. Oh
Akane... *

*SLAM!*

"Itaii!" Ryoga dropped the knife as Ukyou whalloped him with
her spatula.

"Stop daydreaming!" she shrieked at him.

"I was _not_ daydreaming!" he yelled as she peeled the
spatula off his head.

Ukyou picked up the mangled knife. "Honestly, you are so
hopeless." she said. "Don't you ever notice when you
destroy things?"

"Er... sorry about that." Ryoga lifted his hand to rub the
back of his head, then he paused.

"Kamisama!" cried Ukyou as she noticed the same thing he had.
"Your hand!"

Ryoga had, without noticing, inflicted some fairly large cuts
on his hand while mutilating the knife. The cuts were now
bleeding quite profusely.

Ukyou grabbed his other hand, it was also covered in blood.

"Hold your hands up." she ordered. "We need to get you
cleaned up." she looked auxiously at him. "Are you ok,
Ryoga? Do they hurt? Are you feeling dizzy?"

"No!" Ryoga protested. "I'm fine, please don't worry. I can
take care of it."

"Shush!" Ukyou quickly wrapped teatowels around his hands.
"You'll only make more of a mess and I refuse to let you
make a mess of my kitchen!" She put one hand to Ryoga's
cheek and stroked it. "Hey. I'm on your side, ok?"

Ryoga swallowed at her touch, "Ah... ummm... ah... " All the
things Akane had said about Ukyou in Shanghai came rushing
back at him.

"Now hold on and I'll clean you up." Ukyou turned away,
oblivious to Ryoga's agitation. She picked up another towel
and ran it under some cold water. "Come here."

Ryoga walked over, making sure that his hands were still up
and the towels around them. Ukyou turned back to him and
unwrapped the now bloody towels. "Yuck... " she threw them
into the waste disposal. "Now this might sting."

"Right." said Ryoga, then as she pulled his hands forward
he noticed what temprature the water was. "NOOOOO..... "

Ukyou let out a shriek as Ryoga suddenly appeared to shrink
into his clothes and disappear. "Ryoga!!" she cried.
"Kamisama! Where... ? What... ?" She looked around wildly,
then at the still running tap. "The water... ?" She looked
down at the pile of Ryoga's clothes.

Something wriggled inside Ryoga's top. Ukyou cried out again
and leapt back. Then she gulped and reached down and pulled
the material away from the... the whatever... and saw...

"P-chan?" Ukyou blinked and looked at the little black piglet
who was looking up at her with tear-filled eyes and whose
front hoofs were bleeding. "Ryoga? Ryoga, you're P-chan!"

Ryoga looked up into Ukyou's shocked face and wished the
floor would open up and swallow him. *She'll tell Akane,
she'll be so angry.* he thought in agony, *She'll _hate_
me!* He closed his eyes and waited for doom to fall on him.
He did not expect doom to sound like laughter. Ryoga opened
his eyes and saw Ukyou clutching the sink bench laughing so
hard that there were tears in her eyes.

Ryoga bweed indignantly, he did _not_ regard this a laughing
matter! It was _not_ funny in the slightest.

Ukyou snorted at his anger and managed to control herself,
slightly. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Ha... now
it all... heh... makes sense. Oh dear... I think I hurt
myself... but you have to admit that... it's just too
funny... you... *giggle* in love with Akane... haha...
and... and she's sleeping with you as... as...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Ryoga sweatdropped. He didn't get it. His curse was the most
humilating, most awful thing he could imagine. Surely a
normal girl would think it as terrible as he did!

Ukyou managed to swallow her laughter and picked up the kettle
which she had recently boiled. "Okay, time turn back. I like
that part, d'you know I was pouring hot and cold water on
Ranchan nearly all night when I found out?" She grinned.
"Heh... of course you do, you were there!"

Ryoga bared his teeth. If she thought he was going to let her
change him back forth for her amusement she had another think
coming!

"Don't worry." Ukyou assured him, tipping the kettle. "I
won't do that to you."

The hot water hit Ryoga in a boiling wave. "Owwww...
hothot!" he cried leaping up.

Ukyou drew back and dropped the kettle. Her face went red.
"Ummmm... Ryoga... you're... you're... naked!" she covered
her eyes.

Ryoga stared at her uncomprehendingly for a moment, then
he yelped and grabbing his tunic held it to him. "P-please
t-turn around." he stuttered, his face matching hers.

"Y-yes." Ukyou spun around, paused, then she remembered his
hands. "Ryoga! You're hurt... I can't let you... " she bit
her lip and turned around.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Ryoga had managed to put on his
trousers and was reaching for his tunic. Ukyou grabbed his
hands. "No!" she pulled him upright. "I need to treat
these." she smiled. "I'll use hot water."

Ryoga reluctantly let her bathe the cuts with a cloth
soaked in hot water. He felt he had to give her some sort
of explanation. "I... I'm sorry." he mumbled as she dried
his hands. "About... about P-chan and all."

"It's ok." Ukyou said quietly. She opened a cupboard and
pulled out a first aid kit. "Hold still." she ordered pulling
out some bandages and antiseptic cream. "I don't know why
you think it's such a big deal though. Ranchan seems to be
ok with _his_ change."

"That's because Ranma stays _human_!" Ryoga snapped.

"Uh-huh." Ukyou began to gently dab the cream onto the cuts.
"What about Mousse and Shampoo? They aren't all bitter...
well, not as bitter as _you_."

"Uh... " Ryoga was finding it hard to hold onto his anger and
finding even harder to think coherantly as Ukyou's hair
brushed against his skin as she bandaged his hands.
"Akane-san would... "

"Well, she probably wouldn't be happy with you for
masquerading as her _pet_." Ukyou finished one hand and
moved onto the next. "It probably wouldn't be a good idea
to tell her until you've won her love."

"Y-yeah."

Ukyou finished the last bandage and smiled up at him.
"Ok, now?"

"Y-yeah."

She moved a little closer. "Are you sure you're alright?
You look kinda pale." She grabbed his chin and pulled his
head down so that his eyes met hers. "I'm _not_ mad about
P-chan, really. I sort-of wish that you had told me earlier."

Ryoga looked into her large eyes and gulped. Thoughts he
never thought he would never have were tugging at his mind
*Ukyouis prettyshe'snicebutIlikeAkaneUkyou'sbeingsoniceshe
doesn'tcareaboutthepigAkane-sanIlovebutIOhIdon'tknowI'mso
confused!!!!*

"Ryoga?!" Ukyou cried out as he squeezed his eyes shut and
tensed up. "Sugar! Hey... snap out of it!" She grabbed his
shoulders and shook him.

Ryoga's eyes snapped open, he looked down at her and grabbed
her upper arms, ignoring his injured hands. "Ukyou... " he
began.

"Hey, Ucchan! Is lunch ready ye... whoa!" Ranma came to
abrupt halt at the kitchenette door. He stared at his best
friend being held by Ryoga, a grin spread across his face.

Ryoga saw Ranma, yelped, let go of Ukyou and jumped back.
Ukyou whirled and went red when she saw the expression on
Ranma's face.

"Ranchan! Uh... please don't think... we... Ryoga hurt
himself!"

Ranma nodded. "Riiiight." his expression clearly saying
'And did you have to take his top off to do that, Ucchan?'

Ukyou bit her lip for the second time that day and went to
the counter, Ryoga's blood had not fallen on the ingredients,
so she gathered them up. "Lunch will be ready in about ten
minutes, Ranchan." she said as brightly as she could. "One
special for you?"

Ranma nodded. "Yup."

"I'll get some... ah... cleaning stuff." mumbled Ryoga. He
headed for the door. "Out of the way, Ranma." he snarled.

"Sure, man." Ranma stepped back, then he grabbed Ryoga's arm.

"_What?_"

Ranma leaned closely and whispered. "Just a little bit of
advice. The kitchen isn't exactly the best spot for
romancing girls."

Ryoga shook him off. "You have the wrong idea!" he snarled
and stormed off.

Ranma watched him go. "Hey, stupid! You're going out of the
bus!"

"Leave him alone, Ranchan." said Ukyou, she had already
mopped up the mess and was now cooking the okonomiyaki at
her usual super fast speed.

Ranma shrugged. "Okay, Ucchan. You want me to gather the
others?"

"That would be good."

Ryoga strode away, his head bowed, his mind whirling. What
had he been thinking? In his thoughts he had nearly betrayed
his beloved Akane and if Ranma hadn't shown up, he might
have... he might have... No! Ryoga shook his head. No, he
didn't what to go there. Better to forget all about the
whole incident.

"Ryoga! Ryoga! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"Huh?"

Ryoga stopped and looked around. Akane caught up with him,
and grabbed his arm. "Where are you going?" she demanded.
"You'll get lost!" *And then Mikado would have to drive and
my spine can't take much more of that*, she added mentally.

"I... I..." *She cares! Oh Akane-san, how could I ever doubt
my love for you. It must have been lightheadedness from the
blood loss*, thought Ryoga. "I was just going for a walk."

"_Bad_ idea." said Akane. "Come on, lunch is nearly ready.
If you so badly need to stretch your legs, why don't you
spar with me."

"Of course Akane!" *I'm so happy. Must remember to pull
all my blows and slow down a lot.* Ryoga lapsed into a
blissful haze as Akane led him back to the bus.

***

Kiyone examined the last piece of okonomiyaki on her plate.
*One more bite and I'm finished. One more bite and I'm
finished. Argh. I never thought I'd miss instant ramen!*

"Something wrong with that one?" Ukyou asked anxiously.
"Would you like a different one?"

"NO! I mean..." Kiyone sweatdropped, "This is fine. I'm
just not very hungry."

"I hope you're feeling alright. Everyone's starting to
look a little pale," said Ukyou, looking around the others.
Godai and Suka were both slowly and steadily ploughing
through their okonomiyaki whilst Miya seemed to be
experimenting with all the spices. Ranma was gobbling
down his fourth okonomiyaki like there was no tomorrow,
whilst Akane ate hers and watched nervously as Ryoga
chewed his way through the plate. Ukyou sighed. *Thank
goodness I packed a spare set. Moron.* She wasn't sure
if she was more annoyed that he could do this just
because Akane had spoken to him, or if she was more
insulted about what this said about her cooking. Still,
she was happy that Ranma hadn't said anything about
what had happened in the kitchen.

"Hey Ucchan, so what was wrong with Ryoga's..."

"Another okonomiyaki coming right at you!" Ukyou expertly
flung another okonomiyaki into his mouth.

Yet.

Nabiki put down her tea. "You keep doing that Ukyou.
Is there something you don't want him to say?"

Everyone looked interested. Ryoga came down from Planet
Akane and tensed.

"Seconds? You bet!" Ukyou threw an okonomiyaki onto
Nabiki's plate. Nabiki looked at it, steaming hot
okonomiyaki. And at its twin, which showed signs of
having slightly been nibbled.

"Anyone else?" Ukyou said, chirpily.

"Nope."

"I'm full."

"No thanks!"

"I need to stretch my legs."

The voices chorused.

Kiyone looked around for a change of topic. "Has anyone
seen Konatsu and Mikado?"

There was a silence.

"Uh oh..."

"Oh well, he's not so bad looking, and he's attentive
at least." said Miya, smiling and looking at Suka.
Konatsu could do worse."

"I take it from that comment that you lot," Nabiki looked
at Akane, Ranma, Ryoga and Ukyou, "haven't mentioned the
fact that Konatsu's a guy to Mikado yet."

Kiyone, Godai, Suka and Miya face-faulted onto the ground.

"Oh man, this brings back memories." said Suka. "He doesn't
have a cousin named Shun does he?"

"Must have slipped our minds." said Ranma. He and Ryoga
shared a glance. The images of their 'ice-skating' returned.
"We'll mention it to Mikado."

*When hell freezes over* they both thought.

The group finished eating and dispersed to look at the
countryside. "Meet back here in thirty minutes!" called
Ukyou after them. She stared longingly after Ranma and
Akane, then shook herself. "Right, enough slacking Ryoga.
Pick up all the plates and do the dishes."

"When was I slacking? And anyway, my hands are hurt."

"Fine. You can dry."

Ukyou stomped off, with the dishes balanced precariously
in front of her. In the tiny kitchen once more, the two
wiped the dirt and dishwater from the dishes respectively,
and the sweat from their brows as the temperature in the
small space rapidly increased, in spite of both the open
windows. They worked in silence, the only sound being the
tinny radio playing on the bench. Until...

"Oh wow! This is my favourite song!" Ryoga lunged for the
radio. "More volume!"

Ukyou stared at him as the sound filled the room. Ryoga
nodded his head in time with the beat, turned back to the
dishes, and then surprised her by starting to quietly
sing along with the music:

"Always so far away...
I'm hurrying along the way to become a fighter
No way will it stretch to my hand so easily
I remember the people through these same pupils

Speaking to myself, now, so I keep walking on
Talk to my dreams, and keep walking on...

Where, where now should I keep living?
I don't want to live like a runner forever
Filthy, filthy paths, I don't want to be alone...
Voices bring us together, wounds become strength
I accept tomorrow's challenge."

Ryoga's voice increased as the song went on. After
the chorus, Ukyou recognised the popular song and joined
in, the two of them belting out the tune.

"Tonight, the stars break my sleep...
While I count them, I breathe a sigh...
The faraway path is only a detour
How many tears must the underdog shed?

I can see the dream, but what does "today" mean?
You should understand, again, that it encourages me!

Where, where now should I keep living?
This straight path is so boring...
Dusty, dusty paths, I'll cut my own
Inside my thoughts, wounds become strength
I walk on, tomorrow..."

(The full Japanese text of this song and credits can be
found at the end of this part - J & O)

"Very good Ryoga-sugar!" said Ukyou with a smile, then she
gave a dry cough. "Ugh... except my throat now feels like
sandpaper!"

Ryoga, who had blushed at her complement, cleared his throat.
"Mine too, do we have anything cool to drink?" Ukyou looked
in the fridge. "Uh... no, no, no... oh! Oh! This looks good!"

Ryoga looked at it, "It's green."

Ukyou sighed in exasperation. "It's some sort of melon
drink I think." She pulled out the carton and looked inside.

"Did you buy these?"

"No, I thought Konatsu was buying all the supplies."

"He would buy something strange like this. I hope he knows
what it is!"

There were about 24 bottles of whatever it was. She examined
the bottle. "What does it say, Ryoga?"

Ryoga squinted at the label. "It's in Korean."

"How do you know?"

"It's the only language I don't know, and I can't read the
label. So it must be in Korean."

Ukyou's mind shyed away from the implications of that
statement, not to mention the logical problems. She settled
for sarcasm. "Oh really, so how's your Inuit?"

"{Not as good as I'd like.}" replied Ryoga.

"What?"

"I said {which way to Tokyo?}", he said, grinning.

"Huh?"

"{You're pretty cute you know.}" he said.

"You said different things," accused Ukyou.

*Oops*. "Say, let's try some of this delicious melon drink!"
said Ryoga, grabbing a bottle. He twisted the cap off and
poured the drink down his throat. Then he wiped his mouth
off. "Hmmm... refreshing. And very very tasty. Can I have
another one?"

Ukyou was sipping at her first. "I guess so, seems to be
okay. No ill effects. No turning into something else."
she slugged it down. "Yummy!"

Ryoga was shocked. "Girls aren't supposed to drink like
that!"

"I was a boy for six years dummy!" Ukyou stuck her tongue
out at him.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Ryoga choked.
"Your tongue is bright green!"

"Huh? Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh," Ukyou went cross-eyed trying to
look at her tongue. Ryoga laughed even harder.

"Oh yeah, well your tongue is green too." she said.

"Hehehehehehehehe..."

"Oh fine, be like that," Ukyou grabbed another bottle and
threw it at him. Ryoga fielded it easily and opened it,
chugging back the contents.

"Geez you're slow," Ukyou said critically. "At my old school
I was the champion speed drinker."

"Oh really? Well, you're still one behind me," said Ryoga
challengingly.

"We'll see about that... Kampai!" Ukyou flung her head
back and inhaled the drink. They both reached for another
bottle.

***

Half an hour later.

"Ah, that was a nice walk," said Godai. "I feel strangely
refreshed."

"Mmmmmm," said Suka. "I needed to walk off that okonomiyaki."

They, Miya and Kiyone were all headed back to the bus, when
Konatsu walked casually out of the bushes onto the path
ahead of them.

"Konatsu! You missed lunch!" said Kiyone accusingly.

"Sumimasen," Konatsu replied smugly.

"Where's Mikado?" asked Suka.

"Somewhere." Konatsu strolled off.

There was a crashing sound, the group stared as Mikado
staggered out of the bushes, leaves and twigs covering
him and his normally immaculate clothing covered in mud.

"You know, Ukyou's going to be real cross at you for
mucking up your uniform." said Nabiki, coming up behind
Kiyone.

"Ahhhh... ahah ahhhh..." Mikado gasped. "Ugh." he
collapsed at their feet.

"Pathetic," said Nabiki. "Truly pathetic." She got his
feet. Suka jumped to relieve her and Godai grabbed
Mikado under the arms and they proceeded back to the bus.

Upon arrival, they saw Akane, Ranma and Konatsu staring
at the bus.

"What?" asked Miya.

"What is that racket?" demanded Nabiki.

Ranma pointed. Ukyou and Ryoga, drunk as the proverbial
lords, were sitting on the steps of the bus, with their arms
around each other and singing some terrible karaoke song.

"Honey it hurts what you've done to me,
I'd even call it a tragedy
Now that you've told me the name of your neeeeeew
loooooooooove...
How I wish that you didn't say what you said
Wish it was some other girl instead
I don't know whhhhhhyyyyy you need a guuuuuuyyy..."

Kiyone winced. Not _this_ song _again_. Argh.

"Oh my." said Nabiki.

"What do you mean, 'Oh my'?" demanded Akane.

"They must have been drinking my midori." she said.

"Midori?"

"Melon liquor, mixed with some other things to give it
a bit more 'punch'," said Nabiki.

"And boy does it pack it," said Kiyone. "We had one bottle
each when we went shopping, and that was enough. I still
don't know when I got that silver lingerie."

Godai's nose started bleeding and Miya's elbow caught Suka
in the ribs. "Don't even _think_ about it."

Ranma blinked. "Well, it looks like Mikado's going to be
driving."

"Uh... I don't think so."

They all examined Mikado.

"Oh my god, what happened to him?" asked Akane. They all
looked at Konatsu.

Stars, hearts and flowers appeared around him as he smiled
cutely, his eyes getting all big, "Don't blame little
Konatsu!"

"Oh great," said Ranma. "NOW what? Who's going to drive!"

"Drive?" Ryoga broke off the singing. "We gotta get goin'!
I'll drive..."

"You can't even stand up pork-butt," said Ranma.

"Can too, chickie-babe," said Ryoga. "Shee?" He stood,
swaying.

"But not for long!" carolled Ukyou. She poked a finger into
his back and he toppled over onto his face. "Hehehehehehehe!
Ahhhh... I love you Ryo-chan."

Everyone facefaulted.

"Uh, Ukyou?" asked Ranma.

"I love you Ranchan."

"WHAT?" screamed Akane.

"I love you Akane-chan."

"WHAT?" screamed Ranma.

"Love you Kiyone-chan, love you Godai-chan, and you too
Konatsu. Suka and Miya, I love you so much! Nabiki, I'm
quite fond of you."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow.

"And Mikado, I love you too."

An electric bolt shot through Mikado and he sprang to his
feet. "YES!" he said, making a dash for Ukyou. Konatsu
tripped him as he went past and Akane malleted him into
the ground. "How DARE you try to take advantage of the
situation?" she demanded. Mikado did not answer, as he
was communining with nature.

Ryoga struggled back to his feet. "Everyone onna bus!"
he yelled. "We gotta timetable!"

"Ryoga, you cannot drive!" said Ranma.

"Maybe we should throw some cold water on him to sober
him up," said Miya.

"NO!" screamed Kiyone and Ranma.

"It was just a suggestion." Miya hmphed.

Ranma grabbed Ryoga's arm. "Ryoga, you are too drunk to
drive. Why don't we just camp here tonight?"

"Nonono... got bookings." Ryoga paused, then glared at
Ranma. "Who are ya callin' P-chan!"

"I didn't call you P-chan."

"Then who are ya callin' drunk! I can still take ya." Ryoga
moved into a sloppy fighting stance.

"Aw man, this is stupid!" said Ranma, "You're in no
condition to fight! Godai could take you in this state!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry man."

"Are you cowarding outta our man ta man FIGHT?!"

Ranma shook his head. "Ok, stand back everyone, I'll try to
put him down in one punch."

Ukyou giggled from her seat on the ground. "Go get'em,
sugar!"

"Okay." said both Ranma and Ryoga.

"Which one do you mean?" asked Akane.

"All four of them!"

Everyone sweatdropped except for the two combatants who
prepared to fight.

Ranma shot his fist forward in a straight punch and was
very surprised when Ryoga blocked with a casual wave of
his arm. Then Ryoga launched into a complex set of moves,
which seemed to involve a lot of staggering back and forth,
ending in a punch with the first two fingers partially
extended. Ranma fell back and rubbed his bruised jaw.

"Itai! When did he learn drunken boxing?!" He relaxed and
laughed.

Ryoga grinned. "Ev'rybody aboard! Time ta go!"

"You're not going to fight him?" asked Godai.

"It's pointless when he's in this state." said Ranma.
"If I wanted to put him out I'd have to really hurt him
as in putting him in traction! He's too drunk to feel any
pain, and that's on top of his normal toughness."

Akane sighed. "So we have to hope he passes out before he
starts driving?"

Nabiki, who had gone inside to investigate the damage to her
stock, came put at this statement. "He should do soon!
Looking at the amount he and Ukyou drunk I'm surprised that
they're not comatose by now."

"'Lalalalaalaalaaa... I'd even call it a tragedy... hic..."

"Alright, someone help Ukyou on board." said Ranma. "And have
a sick bag ready just in case."

"I'll do that!" Konatsu offered eagerly.

*Now that is _true_ devotion!* thought Akane.

They piled on board and watched as Ryoga lurched into the
drivers seat. Ranma sat next to him in Ukyou's normal seat.
"Well, he appears to be going through all the right motions."
he reported back. "I... ooof!"

He was elbowed aside by Ukyou who had broken away from
Konatsu. "Thish ish my seat, Ranananachan!" She giggled.
"Unlessh ya want me to sit on you lap!"

"Er... " Ranma could feel the heat of the green-eyed
monster's glare on the back of his neck. "That's okay,
Ucchan, you can have your seat." he edged away and sat
beside Akane.

Godai sighed and took out a small pad and paper. *Dearest
Kyoko* he began to write, *When you get this note I will
have died in a dreadful accident... *

Suka and Miya gripped each others hands. "I love you." he
whispered. She kissed his cheek. "Aishite."

"Oh give the guy a chance!" snapped Kiyone. "It might just
work out!" *I hope... oh well, at least I'd get away from
HER in death!*

"Okie-doki, Ryo-chan, 'member to keep ya handsh on the
wheelie!" Ukyou sang out.

Ryoga glared at her. "Ish _you_ alwaysh fogetsh that!"

Ukyou's eyes filled with tears. "You hate me, Ryo-chan?"

"No, Ucchan." Ryoga reached out a hand and touched her
cheek. "Kimi no kawaii."

Dead silence.

"Did he... ?" Akane looked at Ranma whose eyes were bulging.

"He did!"

Nabiki smirked. "You know the truth comes out when you
drink."

"In vino veritas." replied Ryoga with a fangy grin.

"My God, he really does know a lot of languages!" cried
Akane.

Ukyou smirked blearly at her. "Ryororyoro... shit!
_Ryo_-chan's sooooo clever!"

"Ukyou!"

"Letsh go!" Ryoga gunned the engine and the bus crawled
out of the picnic area and back onto the road.

Ranma looked out of the window. "Hey! HEY!"

"WHAT?!" screamed everyone in panic.

Ranma gave them all the thumbs up. "We're going the right
WAY!"

Major facefault.

"Shee? I tol ya!" Ryoga moved into fourth gear.

"This isn't bad." commented Godai slowly.

"It's better than Mikado's best driving." said Miya.

"It's better than _Ryoga's_ best driving!" said Kiyone.
She relaxed, *I think I'll take a nap.*

Nabiki consulted her pocket tourist map. "Hmmm... we do
seem to be heading for Hangzhou."

"WHOOOOHOOOO!!!!!" Ukyou leapt out of her seat and punched
the air. "We're sho cool!"

"Sit down, Ucchan!" cried Ranma. "You could hurt yourself!"

"I'm okay, really, 'm okay... " *Thud* Ukyou collapsed
unconscious onto her seat.

"Finally peash." muttered Ryoga.

Everyone shrugged and relaxed as Ryoga continued to drive
drunkenly and straight as a homing pigeon towards Hangzhou.

End part 6.

GLOSSARY:

Aishite = I love you
Anata = you, also means "dear" when used by a wife to
her husband.
Kawaii = cute
Kimi = you (used by a husband to his wife)
Matte Kudasai = Please wait
Sumimasen = Excuse me/Sorry(for what I did)

In vino veritas = In wine there is truth

First song(Japanese text):

We Are

Slayers NEXT( Slayers NEXT Sound Bible II)
Vocals: Midorikawa Haruka (Zelgadis)
---

Kakkotsukete itsumo ikigatta
saki o isogu faitaa
Sonna ore ni sotto te o nibashita
onaji hitomi shiteiru yatsura

yowai jibun o, ima, sarake dashite
yume o kadoatte saa, aruite ikou

* doko made mo, doko made mo tsudzuku jinsei o
tadano rannaa ja ikitakuwa nai
yogorete mo, yogorete mo hitorikiri janai
koe o kake atte kizu o tsuyosa ni kaete
ashita e idode yuku yo

The Second song is the Karaoke sung in the Pretty Sammi
OAV: "Your Hiroshi" 

 

Chapter 7

Index