Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla
***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

Hikaru Kazeten belongs to us. Damn.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 23

***

"Ryoga? Ryoga? RYOGA!!!!!!!!" Ukyou frantically turned over
pots and looked under tables.

Ranma stood knee-deep in goons and clenched his fists. "That
coward!" he spat. "Talk about no honour!"

Akane blinked back tears. "What's going to happen to Ryoga?"
she wondered aloud.

Suka and Miya came back into the kitchen. "No sign of them out
the front." Suka reported.

"Nothing out the back." Konatsu jumped in through the open
window. He looked at Ukyou in concern, she was now standing
very still. "Is Ukyou-sama alright?" he asked Kiyone.

Kiyone sighed. "She's in shock."

Nabiki frowned. "This does not make sense." she said.

Godai, who was helping Mikado tie the goons up, looked up at
her. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"This is not Kazeten's style, from what I've observed he
wouldn't get much satisfaction out of killing Ryoga in private."

"Maybe he desperate." suggested Shampoo.

"It's not a private death he wants." Mousse came back into the
kitchen. He held up a piece of paper. "This was stuck on the
bus."

Ranma took it. "Hmmm... a challenge to _all_ of us?"

Akane looked over his shoulder, "Well, at least he put the
address on it."

Ukyou moaned faintly and fell to her knees onto the ground.
"Ryoga..." she whimpered.

Shampoo walked up to her. "Spatula-girl, get with program."
she said.

Ukyou ignored her, Shampoo frowned.

*SLAP!*

Ukyou rocked back on her heels and held her red cheek. "What
the hell... ?!!"

"Spatula girl better pull herself together," said Shampoo,
"Or risk losing lost stupid pig boy forever!"

Ukyou stood up and rubbed her cheek. "Don't you call him that!
My Ryoga's the sweetest, bravest, _cutest_ martial artist that
ever walked the earth!"

"If so keen on him, better get going to answer challenge,"
said Shampoo. "Else lose him... maybe to _better_ martial
artist."

"Grrr..." Ukyou glared. "Once I've settled Kazeten's hash
_you're_ next on my hit-list, bimbo!" She stormed out the door
towards the bus. "Mikado! Get out here and drive this thing!"

"WAIT!" yelled Ranma.

Ukyou turned on her heel. "WHAT??!!"

Ranma sighed. "Much though I hate to admit this, and believe
me, I really DO hate to admit this, but it has to be said."

Everybody waited with bated breath.

"But we need a plan."

***

One plan (and an hours driving) later:

Kiyone patted Nabiki on the shoulder and stepped off the
bus. "Don't worry about it," she called over her shoulder.
"I have a weapon, remember?"

"Why do WE have to stay on the bus?" Godai demanded one last
time. "I want to come with you and help!"

"Because you can't fight Godai," said Ranma.

"Hey!"

Suka patted Godai on the shoulder. "Look at it this way. We
need you to help back up Nabiki and Mikado and keep the
bus clear in case we need a hasty escape. I've been in lots
of bad situations and keeping a clear exit open is the most
important thing I've ever learnt."

"Really?"

"That, and don't piss off Shinobu, but he's not here so we
should be safe for now."

***

Far away.

"Ahchoo!"

"You okay Shinobu?"

"Fine Mitsuru. Someone's talking about me in an unflattering
manner though." Shinobu sniffed.

Mitsuru raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't worry about it - it's
probably your crazy sister again."

"Probably."

***

Godai watched the others go, "Good luck gang." he muttered
under his breath as they raced down the hill to the Misty
Valley Springs (This was a bad translation from the Chinese).

The group pounded down the hill.

"I can barely see a thing!" Konatsu complained.

"Oh thank goodness, I thought the surgery on my eyes was
failing." said Mousse in relief.

"Nobody can see anything," said Akane. "It's all this
stupid mist! I can barely tell..."

*SPLASH*

"... if there's solid ground in front of us. Okay everyone,
watch out for springs." Ranma-chan finished the sentence for
Akane. "Anyone got a thermos?"

*SPLASH*

"Never mind," said Ranma-kun, "Okay hot AND cold springs
alert. Pay attention Mousse!"

*SPLASH*

"To what, where you're walking?" Mousse asked Ranma-chan.

"Cut the banter people!" Ukyou snapped, taking the lead.
"We have to rescue Ryoga." Her battle aura was glowing a
bright bright red.

"Everyone follow Ukyou!" yelled Suka. "She can light the
way! Heck, she could put Rudolph out of a job."

"Ssssshhh! Do you want her to get mad?" Miya said.

***

Ryoga blinked. He was warm, almost uncomfortably, and his
skin felt slightly damp. He also ached all over. Drawing in
a deep breath Ryoga began to stretch and discovered he couldn't.
His eyes snapped open as he realised that his arms and legs
were immobilised, that he was chained, upright, to a large
rockface.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Ryoga looked to his left. "Kazeten... " he rasped. *What the
hell is going on? Why does my throat feel like sandpaper?*

Eyes alight with glee (and a good dose of madness), Kazeten
came up close to Ryoga. "How are you feeling, Hibiki?" he
asked. "A little sore? A bit _weak_?!"

Memory kicked in. The kitchen, Ukyou, Kazeten holding a gun
on Ukyou, Kazeten firing at him. Ryoga snarled and tensed his
muscles, pullling on the chains that held him.

Kazeten laughed at his efforts. "Save it, Hibiki!" he crowed.
"Those chains are made of pure titanium, not even _your_
strength can break them!"

"Is this your idea of a fight?!" Ryoga cried. "You plan to kill
me while I'm chained to this rock?!"

"Perhaps, maybe... "Kazeten shrugged. "But not before you lose
something you value more than your life."

Ryoga shivered. "What have you done to my _friends_!" he
demanded.

Kazeten smirked. "The fun is about to begin."

***

"Here they come!" Kiyone cried.

Miya and Suka suddenly surged out to the front of the group.

"You guys go on ahead!" Miya yelled. "We'll hold these guys
off!"

The rest of the group continued on as the couple leapt into
battle.

Miya attacked with a harsh yell and an incredible ferociousness.
And a long chain and years of experience of street fighting.

Suka attacked with a wild cry and a vivid intensity. And his
fists and years of experience of living in a boys only dorm.

They were frighteningly good together. They also used every
single dirty trick in the book as well as all the ones that
had been left out of the book on the grounds that they were
far too mean to use on anyone. Silently, Suka blessed Mitsuru,
Shinobu and all the gang and their training. For some reason,
even the most well-armed thug didn't seem scary anymore.

***

Mikado nervously gunned the engine again and checked the
rear view mirror. "How are they doing?" he called.

Godai peered intently through an old pair of Mousse's
glasses. "Okay, Suka and Miya have just split off and
it looks like Konatsu and Kiyone are teaming up for the
next section. Good grief! I can make out the pattern on
Konatsu's sash with these things! I have binoculars at home
that are weaker than these! And... uh oh..."

"Uh oh?" asked Nabiki. "What does that mean?"

"It means - there's some goons coming right at us!" Godai
yelled. "Mikado! Step on it!"

Mikado began driving the bus in a complicated manoeuvre
based on his martial arts ice skating skills - a move
designed to keep an opponent constantly having to change
course to meet them. It worked, but there were just too many
goons coming.

Godai raced up and down the bus, thwapping hands, heads, and
whatever else he could reach with one of Ukyou's giant
spatulas. Goons yelped and jumped back, but were not
deterred.

Finally... "Alright," yelled Nabiki. "Let's see how this
works!" She pulled Kiyone's gun out of her purse and fired.

A huge blast of energy shot out and hit a group of goons,
dropping them in their tracks.

"Wow!" said Godai. "That's amazing!"

"It certainly _is_," said Nabiki. "But that wasn't a bullet!"
she checked the gun. "Hey... there's a lever on this thing -
it's pointing to... stun. Hmmm... Kill, Disintegrate, Destroy
the Universe." she paused. "You've GOT to be kidding me."

***

"Wasshu... you put a WHAT setting on Kiyone's gun???!!!"

"Oh come on Tenchi, how much trouble is she going to get into
on holiday? She's the sensible one, I'm sure she won't touch
it."

***

Nabiki fingered the settings. "Hmmm..."

***

Konatsu threw a pair of shuriken and watched in satisfaction
as the goon went down. He looked over his shoulder to check
on Kiyone-san and his jaw dropped. Kiyone was fighting with
incredible speed... and a yo-yo. Even as he watched she
dodged a bokken and slammed the yo-yo into the man's jaw.

Hmmm... she'd said she was a cop, and she fought with a
yo-yo. Konatsu put two and two together.

"Wow, sukeban deka! Saki-san! I watch your show all the
time!"

And of course, it being the Ranma-verse, came up with eleven.

***

With the other four gone, the group had closed ranks. It was
now all the Nerima group together - Ukyou in lead, Ranma
backing her up, and Mousse, Shampoo and Akane working
together to back THEM up.

"Just like old times, huh Ucchan?" Ranma grinned. "Remember
Toma? Remember the phoenix?"

Ukyou frowned. "They have nothing in common," she pointed out.

"Just one thing - together we KICKED THEIR BUTTS! HIYAAAA!"
Ranma high-kicked a goon. Ukyou smiled at him gratefully. "We
did, didn't we?" She said as she spatulad a goon into the
middle of next week.

"I hate to break into this pleasant reverie," said Akane.
"But these guyss are getting better. In fact... OW!" A punch
got through her guard.

"AKANE!" Ranma unleashed a flurry of punches, many of which
were deflected. "Damn, she's right."

Mousse exchanged a glance with Shampoo and for once found
them in agreement.

"You guys go on ahead," he said. "We'll hold them here."

"You sure bout that?" Ranma asked.

"Go!" Shampoo stopped running and stood her ground. "Ranma
no worry!" she yelled as she slipped into an intricate
dance with her bonbori. "Shampoo and Mousse fight here!"

Mousse reached into his sleeves and fired a mixture of
knives, shuriken, potato peelers and a cannonball at their
attackers. "Just get to Kazeten and punch him in the mouth
a couple of times for us!" he yelled.

***

Kazeten stared down from the cliff ledge at the battle on the
other side of the valley. The clearing mist had revealed the
locations of the group to him as he looked through some
heavy-duty binoculars.

"I must admit, I'm impressed. Your friends have made it to
the bottom of the valley and some of them have started up
this side. They might actually make it here!" He looked
at Ryoga. "They'll get here just in time to see you die."

Ryoga sneered at Kazeten. "Don't be so confident. The Nerima
crowd have faced highly-trained, equally stupid martial
artists for years. This is a walk in the park for them. They
know what to do. You might as well give up now. Cos when I
get out of these chains I'm going to break you into little
pieces and give you to Ukyou to fry on her oven."

"Your girlfriend is very pretty," said Kazeten.

"Huh?" said Ryoga. "Well, yes. Yes she is. Very pretty." he
smiled to himself.

Kazeten laughed. "Don't worry Ryoga, I'll comfort her for you
after you're gone."

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY UCCHAN!!!!"

***

"Did you hear something?" Akane asked Ranma. Ukyou's face lit
up.

"It was Ryoga! I'd know his outraged bellow anywhere!"

"Then we're close, and the mist is clearing too!" Ranma grinned.
"This is a piece of cake!"

"BAKA!!!" Akane yelled. "You just _had_ to say those words!"

"Huh?" Ranma looked around and saw a horde of violent maniacs
running towards them. "Ooops..."

Ukyou frowned. "Damn! Where are these people coming from? At
this rate we'll never reach Ryoga!"

Ranma pushed her up towards the cliff face. "Go Ucchan!" he
yelled as he unleashed a rapid-fire Amaguriken on his attackers.
"We'll be right behind you!"

Ukyou hesitated. "Ranchan..."

"GO ON!!!" screamed Akane as she ducked a punch and let fly a
fast snap kick knocking down her opponent.

Ukyou nodded. "Good luck!" she called. Quickly she made her
way to the cliff edge, dealing out vicious blows with her
giant spatula to any who attempted to stop her.

Ranma threw himself at the goons using every technique he'd
learnt during his time in Nerima. His blood was fired up, a
wild light lit his eyes... at last, a chance to really fight!

Akane's attackers were less compared to Ranma's but she was
also hard pressed. However, she wasn't worried. All the
benefits of living with Ranma and encountering varied fighting
styles were paying off as she dodged, kicked and punched her
way through the goons.

Suddenly there were no more attacks. Akane and Ranma looked
at each other over the piles of groaning men and grinned.

"C'mon," said Ranma. "We've gotta help Ucchan."

"Right." panted Akane.

"I don't think so." said a voice behind them.

They turned. Ten men and four women stood there, all dressed
in the same military style as Kazeten.

"Who are you?" Akane asked.

"We are the elite students of the Kazeten martial arts school."
one man said. "You are _not_ going to get past us."

Ranma moved into an attack position. "Oh yeah?" he drawled.

***

Shampoo flattened six men with a sweep of one bonbori.
*<Where are they coming from?>* she wondered, *<There are
so many!>*

"<Watch out Xian Pu!>" Mousse threw an anvil at the man
about to strike her from behind. Shampoo leapt aside.
"Xiexie Mu Shu!" she called.

"<No problem.>" Mousse grinned. He reached into his sleeves
again as seven more attackers bore down on him. He frowned.
"Uh oh."

"<What do you mean 'Uh oh'?>"

Mousse favoured her with a sickly grin. "<I seem to have run
out of weapons!>"

Shampoo groaned. "Stupid Mousse!"

***

Kiyone swiftly whirled and kicked a goon in the jaw. Then
she leapt into the air and threw her yoyo forward. It separated
into two parts as it swung down and took out the two men
attacking Konatsu.

Konatsu rolled away and got to his feet. "Arigato Saki-san!"
he called.

Kiyone frowned. "Just who do you think I am?"

Konatsu tossed four knives with pinpoint accuracy. "Sukaben
deka! You fight with a yoyo!"

"It's not a..." Kiyone smashed the side of her hand into a
goons neck. "... yoyo... exactly."

Konatsu threw shurinken at random attackers and bounced away
from others. "So who are you?"

"I'll tell you later." Kiyone dealt with three more goons.
"When this is over." *Hopefully you'll forget to ask.*

***

Kazeten frowned. "The mist has come back again." he said
moving away from the cliff edge.

"I told you your people couldn't win!" taunted Ryoga.

Kazeten turned on him, his face contorted with anger. "Silence
Hibiki!"

"No! I won't be silent!" Ryoga yelled. "You've lost, Kazeten.
Face it, your petty revenge is OVER!!!"

Kazeten clenched his fists. "Maybe it's time I dealt with you."
he growled.

"Just let me out of these restraints!" Ryoga demanded. "I'll
give you a proper fight!"

"Oh, I'll let you out." Kazeten smirked. "But first..." he
drew out a long knife with a serrated edge. "I need to cool
that hot blood of yours."

Ryoga stared at him. "You're going to make sure I _can't_
win!"

Kazeten walked slowly towards him. "It's tough, even for
someone like you, to sustain a fight whilst bleeding like
a stuck pig. Plus I believe you're still affected by those
tranquilizer darts."

"And you called me a coward." Ryoga's eyes were wide. "What
happened to your honour, Kazeten?"

Kazeten snarled. "You robbed me, Hibiki! Nearly ten years
ago you robbed me of my rightful superiority! From that day
I've longed to see you dead at my hands, before the
anniversary of my humiliation at your lowly hands. And now,
no one will stop me from obtaining my goal!"

"I wouldn't bet on it, sugar."

Ryoga's head whipped to the right, Kazeten whirled around.

Ukyou stood at the far end of the ledge. She was panting
slightly, but there was a look of fierce determination on
her pretty face and she gripped her giant spatula tightly.

Ryoga's heart leapt at the sight of her, but at the same time
he was furious at her for putting herself in so much danger.

"What the hell are you _doing_ here, Ukyou?!" he cried.

She looked at him in surprise. "Rescuing you, of course.
I don't want my future husband to die now do I?!"

Ryoga gaped. "Future... do you mean that?"

"Of _course_ I do, you twit!" she cried. "I love you and I
am NOT going to lose you!"

A dopey grin spread over Ryoga's face. "Honto? That's great!
I've felt that way for _ages_!"

She smiled at him. "Took you long enough to let me know."

"Hey!" he protested. "I thought you were in love with
_Ranma_!"

*Achem* Kazeten cleared his throat loudly. "I'm sure some
people would find this dialogue very sweet, but..."

Ukyou turned towards him, moving into a fighting stance.
"Yes." she interrupted him. "I'm here to kick your NO-GOOD
SCRAWNY LITTLE BUTT ALL THE WAY BACK TO JAPAN!!!"

Kazeten blinked, then he laughed. "Kuonji-san, you are a
very... intense woman." he raised an eyebrow. "I will have
to teach you not to use language like that though, it isn't
very polite."

"Like I care what _you_ think!" Ukyou hissed. "You've messed
me and Ryoga around way too much! I'm gonna make sure you
pay!"

"I don't wish to fight you." said Kazeten.

"Honey, I'm not giving you a choice!" Ukyou whipped out
several mini spatulas.

Kazeten shrugged. "Well, if you insist." he moved towards
her.

Ukyou leapt into the air. "Amaguriken... okonomiyaki style!!"
she yelled and threw the mini spatulas at high speed.

Ryoga blinked, *Amaguriken okonomiyaki style??? Ranma, what
have you been teaching her?!*

Kazeten frantically dodged the razor sharp spatulas. His eyes
went wide as the edge of one cut his cheek. Touching the
wound he stared at Ukyou as she landed.

"You... _hurt_ me!" he said increduously.

Ukyou hefted her giant spatula. "There's more where that
came from!" she promised.

Kazeten's eyes narrowed. "I see I'm going to have to teach
you a lesson, Kuonji-san."

Ryoga tugged urgently on his restraints. "Ucchan... stop."
he cried.

She shot him a reassuring glance. "Ryoga-honey, you told me
to believe in you, now you believe in me!" she turned back
to Kazeten. "Okay, take your best shot!"

Kazeten pulled himself into a fighting stance. "As you wish,
Kuonji-san."

***

"HYAAAA!" Akane screamed as she drove her foot into the
woman's solar plexus. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHIIIEEE!!!"
A mallet materialised in her hands and she brought it down
on another mans head. Then she stepped back, breathing
harshly. *These guys are GOOD*. She spared a glance in
Ranma's direction.

Ranma was in his element. Already three of the goons were
lying unconcious at his feet. He was a blur of motion, and
Akane smiled and privately acknowledged that he was
undoubtedly the best martial artist she'd ever seen.

"ARRRRR!!!" one of the men swung at her and she dodged.

Unfortunately, even the best had difficulties sometimes.
Ranma was holding off the goons, but these were _well
trained_ goons. And there were still nine of them left.

Akane blocked a bokken strike and high-kicked the mans
jaw. Then, making sure noone was looking, she stamped
on his foot. Not a proper martial art move, but it did
make him hop up and down amusingly.

Ranma grinned as he watched Akane pull the sneaky move.
Damn, he was impressed. Normally Akane was an okay martial
artist - not in his or Ryoga's league, but more than
capable of taking down your average black belt. It was
just unfortunate that they never seemed to meet any
average black belts. He rabbit punched the next man and
spun to face a new opponent when he noticed Akane's
sudden difficulty.

"_Damn_ it!" Akane felt herself overbalance on the kick.
It was just a small miscalculation, but when you were up
against someone who was utilising a series of rapid
punches that almost rivalled the amaguriken, it was
enough. She grunted as her opponent trapped her leg, and
punched her just behind the knee.

Then he did it again.

"KISAMA!!!!! BAKAYARO!!!" Ranma was suddenly there in
front of her. She watched in amazement as he lifted the
man up by his belt and flung him down the valley.

"Are you okay Akane?" Ranma asked.

"Sure," said Akane. "Just... give me a moment."

"Tell you what, you just sit here for a moment and let
me handle the rest of these losers." said Ranma.

"No way! I'm a martial artist too you know!" Once again
Akane pulled out the old phrase.

"I know but..." Ranma faltered. "Just this once, please?"

"Ohhhh..." Akane thought about it. "Okay."

Ranma grinned at her, then faced the rest of the group.
"Better prepare for trouble you jerks, come and get me!"

They all attacked, but Ranma dodged every attack, constantly
moving back and letting them come after him. Akane
recognised the attack instantly - heck, any Nerimarite would
have... she hobbled out of the way quickly.

"HIRYU... SHOTEN HAAAAAAAA!" Ranma yelled, unleashing his
mighty heavenly dragons blast. A tornado of ki power leapt
into the sky, taking the remaining goons with it. Ranma
wiped his cheek (cut sometime during the battle) and
grinned at Akane.

"Shall we move on?" he offered her his arm.

She giggled and took it, "Why thank you Mr Saotome."

Together, they stumbled up the hill.

***

Mousse grunted as he leapt away from his attackers. *<This
is not good.>* he thought. *<Hidden weapons are my forte, now
I'm stuck with hand to hand!>*

Shampoo spared a worried glance for him as she battled her
opponents. Slamming her bonbori into a goon's head she
attempted to get to him. Then she saw Mousse deliver a series
of kicks to take down his attacker. She smiled in relief.
*<He's alright. I'll... aah!>*

"MMMMeeeerrrooowww!!!" the small pink and white cat crawled
out of the cold spring.

Mousse cursed under his breath, knocking out a persistant
goon, he managed to reach Shampoo-neko and picked her up.
Grabbing one of her discarded bonboris he proceeded to take
out most of the leftover goons. Then...

"Argh!" Mousse stumbled as he was kicked from behind. He
dropped Shampoo-neko and fell to his knees. The attacher
snap kicked his jaw and Mousse collapsed. Shampoo-neko
hissed and leapt at the man's face. He howled as she raked
his face with her claws. he managed to swat her away, but
her distraction had given Mousse time to recover. Mousse
punched the man's jaw, knocking him out. He turned and
groaned when he saw two more goons heading for him. Then,
suddenly, their eyes glazed over and they toppled forward.

Mousse blinked and looking beyond them he saw Kiyone standing
there holding her yoyo weapon aloft.

"Need a hand?" she asked lightly.

Konatsu dropped down beside her and grinned at Mousse.

Mousse smiled gratefully. "Thanks, I..." his eyes widened.
"Shampoo!!" he turned and looked around for the little cat.

*cough* "Shampoo here!" Shampoo stumbled out of the mist
clutching a long coat around her. "Fell into hot pool. Took
coat from man." she explained.

"Oh... Xian Pu!" Mousse's emotion overwhelmed him and he
hugged her to him. "I was so... worried!"

Shampoo blinked. "Shampoo okay." she said. "Just have headache
and all wet." she wriggled in his arms. "Mousse can let
Shampoo go now."

Mousse pulled back. "Sorry." he mumbled. "I didn't mean..."

Shampoo's eyes softened. "Is... okay." she said.

Kiyone smiled as she watched this. "Looks like progress."
she murmured to Konatsu.

Konatsu just eyed the high cliff oppposite them. His expression
was worried as he turned to Kiyone. "Do you think Ukyou-sama
is okay?"

***

To be continued 

 

Chapter 24

Index