Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 20

***

"I can't believe this," said Ryoga, tears pouring down the
sides of his face. "I'm... I'm..."

Everyone watched on tenterhooks.

"I'm SO HAPPY!!!!"

THUD! Collective facefault.

"What did he just say?" asked Kiyone.

"He said he was happy," said Mousse.

"But Ryoga's NEVER happy!" said Ranma. "That's who he IS! If
he's happy... then..."

Suddenly Ryoga was grabbed by the throat.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Ryoga!" Ranma
demanded.

"Aaaahhhh... Ranma my friend." said Ryoga.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Ranma sprung away and
dashed behind Akane. "He's scaring me!"

"Ryoga, are you alright?" Akane asked carefully.

"Akane, Ranma, I want you two to be the first to know." said
Ryoga.

"I'm going to be a father!"

*THUD!!!!!!!*

***

The next morning.

"I still can't believe it," said Ranma. "Ryoga, a father." He
downed the scotch in front of him and looked at Ukyou.

"Are you sure Ucchan?"

Ukyou looked at her clasped hands. "Uh... y-yes!"

"Whoa." Ranma tried to drink his drink. It was empty. "I can't
believe it."

"I WON'T believe it," said Konatsu. "Not my Ukyou-sama!!!!"
Then he paused. "Wait - can I be Aunty Konatsu?"

"Errr... okay." *Geez,* thought Ukyou. *This is going a little
further than I expected.*

Nabiki sighed, "I blame myself. I should never have given you
the chocolate mousse, you were too young, too innocent."

"What's wrong with chocolate mousse?" asked Suka.

Godai stifled a flow of blood from his nose.

"Don't want to know," said Miya.

Ukyou couldn't stand it any longer. "If... ummm... if you guys
don't mind, I think I'll go lie down."

"Yes! Yes! Lie down. Calm down. Do you need a pillow? Can I
give you a back rub? How bout a foot massage? Are you hungry?"

"GEEZ Ryoga, CALM DOWN already!" Ukyou stood up. "I'm only p-
p-p-... you know." she walked off.

"Okay, you go lie down, I'll go tell Kazeten the duels off,"
said Ryoga. He looked briefly despondent. "I guess from now
on, _all_ my duels are off... I have to think of my family
now."

As she walked away Ukyou felt like the smallest, lousiest
creature that had ever crawled the earth. *But,* she reminded
herself, *It's for the best.*

***

Kazeten waited majestically, silhouetted against the rising
sun. He made an impressive, although cliched, figure.

"I make an impressive figure," he mused out loud. "How the
peasants must admire me."

"<Ma, what's that crazy man doing on top of the pole
talking to himself?>"

"<Just pretend you can't see him dear.>"

Ryoga looked up at Kazeten as he walked towards the appointed
spot, Ranma behind him.

"Ryoga!" yelled Kazeten, leaping down from his pole.

"Kazeten," replied Ryoga.

"It has been too long my foe! And now is the day that I shall
smite thee and deliver thee unto eternal justice!"

"Are you sure your name's not Kuno?"

"Silence peasant! Are you prepared to meet your DOOOOM!!!!"

"Yes," said Ryoga. Kazeten prepared to strike.

"But..."

Kazeten stumbled, off-balance. "But? This is a man to man
duel! There are no ifs, ands, or BUTS!!!"

"But I'm not going to fight you," said Ryoga.

"What, back out on a challenge?" Kazeten snorted with
laughter.

"Yes."

"Bwah?" Kazeten stared at Ryoga, who stared impassively
back.

"I formally concede defeat to you," said Ryoga. "I have
other concerns now."

"But... but you can't DO that!" yelled Kazeten.

"See ya." Ryoga turned to leave. It physically hurt him to
have to back down like this but... *Think of the baby.*

Kazeten watched Ryoga walk away in astonishment. Then his
rage grew.

"You... You..."

*Here it comes,* thought Ranma, leading the way back to
the hotel.

"You COWARD!!!!" Kazeten raged. "You are no fighter! You
are no MAN!!! You are just a spineless, brainless,
directionless COWARD!!!! You... you're a worm! A slug!
A PIG!!"

Ryoga tensed but kept walking.

"COWARD!!!!!"

The word echoed in his mind. *Think of the baby dammit!*

Ryoga kept walking.

***

Ukyou fidgeted. She hadn't been able to sit still for the
last hour. _Everyone_ kept inquiring into her health! This
became even more unnerving when _Mikado_ joined in, asking
if she wanted a foot massage, although his reasons were
highly suspect.

Ukyou paced the room, her eyes going to the door again and
again. Then Nabiki came up to her.

"Can I ask you something, Ukyou?" she asked.

Ukyou faced her, glad for an excuse to think of something
else than Ryoga and her increasing guilt. "Sure."

Nabiki waved her aside and they sat down.

"So, Ukyou, when did you find out that you were pregnant?"

Ukyou swallowed. "Uh... oh, well, just a couple of days ago."

"You used my little gift then?"

"Yes, thank you, it was useful."

Nabiki smiled. "I'm sure it was." she murmured. "Please enlighten
me on one point though."

"What?"

"How did you get it to work without opening it?"

Ukyou stopped breathing, she stared at Nabiki who presented her
with the unopened pregnancy test. "Wh... what... how did you
get that?" she squeaked, her breath coming in short gasps.

Nabiki put away the test and leaned back. "Something about this
didn't ring true." she said. "It was a little _too_ convenient
that you found out you were pregnant just as Ryoga was challenged
by Kazeten." She smiled again at the stunned young woman.
"So I did a little detective work."

"You went through my things!" Ukyou tried to summon up outrage,
but she just felt very sick. She tried to rally herself. "Well,
it doesn't mean anything anyway! I had another test, I used that."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh, and _where_ did you get that?
They're not easy to come by here." she stood up. "Don't worry.
I'm not going to tell Ryoga, that's _your_ job. Just don't be
surprised if he doesn't take it that well." she walked away.

Ukyou drew her legs up to her chest and hugged them. She felt
very, very sick.

"UKYOU!" a joyous shout echoed through the room. Ukyou turned
and looked up. Ryoga walked towards her.

"How are you?" he demanded, smiling. "Feeling alright?"

"Y-yes, I'm fine." Ukyou said. Nabiki was crazy, Ryoga would
be upset, but he'd see it her way, he'd know it was for the
best. Her thoughts tasted of desperation. "What happened
with Kazeten?"

Ryoga winced inwardly. "Fine!" he said. "Just fine!"

Ukyou, radiant, looked up into his eyes. And saw the lie
in them. And took in the forced lines around his smile. And
felt sicker than ever. "Great," she said. "That's
wonderful news."

The chasm between them deepened. Ryoga ignored it. "From now
on, I only care about you and our baby. Now, where do you
want to get married?"

"Married?" Ukyou was stunned.

"Well, under the circumstances it would be best if we got
married as soon as possible," said Ryoga. "But I'd
understand if you want to wait till we get back to Japan."

"I... I..."

"I bought you a ring. It's not very big, but it'll do for
now." Ryoga presented her with a small gold ring, inserted
with three small diamonds. Ukyou looked at it.

"It's... it's beautiful." she burst into tears.

***

Shampoo watched the pair from behind a pillar. "<Ryoga is not
happy.>" she observed.

"<Unsurprisingly,>" said Mousse from behind her. "<He is a
martial artist, to turn down a challenge is humiliating.
But he feels he has to so that he can look after Ukyou and
the baby.>"

Shampoo wrinkled her nose. "<Stupid spatula-girl, she wasn't
very careful.>" Then she shrugged. "<Still, this keeps her
out of my way.>"

Mousse rolled his eyes. "<Give it up Xian Pu. You're not
going to get Ranma, no matter how hard you try.>"

Shampoo turned and glared at him. "<Don't talk that way!
Ranma is mine! By law he's MY husband.>"

"<And we're back to law,>" Mousse shook his head. "<Is that
all that keeps you going after him?>" he asked curiously.

Shampoo blinked. "<Amazon law is clear. I must marry the
man who defeats me in combat.>"

"<So, if some other guy beat you up now, you'd switch to
him?>" Mousse asked.

Shampoo looked confused. "<Ranma is the strongest...>" she
began, then she made an angry, dismissive gesture. "<It's
the law. You know the law.>"

"<Yes, and _you've_ never been one to follow rules!>" Mousse
hissed.

Shampoo looked up at him. "<You have been very rude to me
since we met up, Mu Shu. What is wrong?>"

Mousse was momentarily robbed of speech. "<You mean you...
you don't know?!>" he gasped.

Shampoo tilted her head. "<You were never like this before.>"

Mousse turned away, struggling to keep his temper. When he
turned back his face was pale and strained.

"<Don't you realise the _hell_ you put me through back in
Nerima?>" he cried. "<You stamped on the love I offered you!
Threw my heart in my face! Humiliated me! Used me!>" he took
a deep breath. "<I offered you my all and you mocked me. Is
it any wonder that I'm a little bitter about it!>"

Shampoo's expression was unreaderable as she gazed at him. The
she shrugged. "<You should have seen I didn't love you. Stupid
Mu Shu! I have Ranma, why would I look at you?>"

Mousse winced. "<You don't understand anything I've said.>"

"<I understand well enough.>" said Shampoo. "<I understand
that you're not over me!>" her tone was slightly smug. "<But
you'll never win. You can't defeat Ranma and you can't defeat
me!>"

Mousse glared down at her. "<Don't be so sure of that.>" he
said.

"<Really?>" Shampoo grinned in amusement.

"<Just because I haven't defeated you doesn't me I _can't_!>"
Mousse growled, then he sighed. "<Xian Pu, maybe I haven't fought
you for real so as not to hurt you!>"

Shampoo stared at him. Then she laughed mockingly. Mousse
clenched his fists and walked away, shaking his head.

Shampoo stopped laughing and looked after him. "<Stupid
Mu Shu.>" she muttered softly.

***

Ukyou opened her eyes. "Ryoga. you're _staring_." she said.

Ryoga smiled down at her. "Gomen, Ukyou. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Ukyou propped herself up on her elbows.

"About how wonderful you are." Ryoga leaned forward and kissed
her cheek.

Ukyou felt sick with guilt. Ryoga had been treating her so
gently, so sweetly all day. He had told Mikado to drive the
bus so he could sit with her. Ukyou had pleaded a headache so
she could pretend to sleep and not talk, and he had pulled her
into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. It was so
perfect, so wonderful and so, so _wrong_. By the time the bus
had arrived in Xiamen and settled in the hostel Ukyou was in
a black mood of depression almost rivaling Ryoga's on a bad
day.

Ryoga noticed her tenseness and frowned. "Are you alright?"
he asked. "Is it a mood swing?" he pulled her into his arms.

"A what?" Ukyou stared at him.

"It's in this book that Miya picked up for me, it's called
'Your wife's pregnancy and you'. It has all this information
on what the stages are and the kind of things that will
happen. Mood swings and nausea were among them." He smiled
at her. "Don't worry, Ucchan. I'm here for you."

Ukyou pushed away from him. "I can't!" she cried. "I just
can't _do_ this anymore!"

Ryoga watched in astonishment as she got out of the bed and
pulled on her robe. "Ukyou?" he asked.

Tears streaming down her face, Ukyou turned to him. "Ryoga,
I'm _so_ sorry! I'm not... I don't..." she wiped her eyes
and looked him square in the eyes, drawing in all her
courage.

"I'm not pregnant."

***

There was a long, looooooong pause.

"You're what?" asked Ryoga calmly. He seemed to be saying
that a lot lately, he reflected absently. There must be
something about travelling in groups. Normally the only
things he ever said this often were 'Curse you Ranma!'
and 'Where am I?'

"I'm... not pregnant," repeated Ukyou. "That is, I'm not
sure. I mean, I could be, I haven't taken the test."

"Test?"

"Pregnancy test, I didn't take it, so I don't... that is..."
Ukyou closed her eyes. "I didn't want you to fight Kazeten
so I told you I was pregnant because I knew you wouldn't
fight him if you had a family at stake."

"So you lied to me?"

"I didn't! Well... I sort of did. Okay I did, but I did it
for YOU Ryoga. I didn't want you to get hurt, and Kazeten's
so strong - look what happened last time!"

Ryoga sat up in bed and stared at her, fascinated. "So let
me get this straight. You didn't want me to fight Kazeten
in case I got hurt, so you _lied_ to me and told me you
were _pregnant_ so that I'd call it off???!!!"

"I-I was afraid. I didn't want to be alone again." Ukyou
stammered.

"You didn't think I could win!" said Ryoga.

"That's right! No... no, it's just that... you _could_
have lost, and _then_ what would have happened?"

"So instead you decided to remove all doubt and got me to
dishonour myself and forfeit the match. I see." Ryoga
continued to stare at her. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE??!!"

Ukyou flinched.

"I WALKED AWAY FROM A CHALLENGE FOR YOU!!! FOR US!!! FOR THE
FAMILY I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO HAVE!!! I THREW AWAY
MY HONOUR AS A MARTIAL ARTIST AND AS A MAN FOR YOUR LIE!!!!!"
Ryoga stood over her, blazing with fury. Ukyou cringed against
the wall.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME??!!! DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS
SO USELESS, SO UTTERLY PATHETIC THAT I COULDN'T TAKE OUT ONE
SNIVELLING SPOILT STUCK-UP BULLY???!!!"

"I'm sorry!"

"YOU'RE SORRY???!!!" Ryoga was almost incandescent with rage.
"_YOU_ are SORRY????!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!! I TRUSTED YOU!!!!
I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU!!! AND THIS IS HOW YOU
REPAY ME????!!!"

"I..." Ukyou tried to speak in her defence but Ryoga shouted
her down.

"I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU!!!! EVERYTHING!!!"

"What the hell did YOU give up?" Ukyou roared back angrily.
"You were stuck in a hopeless situation, in love with a girl
who is also your rival's fiance PLUS you were her PET!!!
I should think YOU should thank ME for getting you out of
that situation!" The minute the words were out of her mouth
she wished them back.

Ryoga turned beet red. "People who live in glass okonomiyaki
restaurants shouldn't throw stones!" he hissed. "You're
trying to deflect me from the issue - you LIED to me!!!!"

"YOU have done YOUR fair share of lying!" Ukyou yelled.
"Your entire friendship with Akane is based on a lie!"

"I NEVER BETRAYED HER!!!" Ryoga screamed.

"I did NOT betray you!!!!" Ukyou yelled back.

***

"What the HELL is all that yelling?" asked Konatsu, stepping
out into the corridor.

"You're hearing it too?" asked Kiyone sleepily from her
doorway.

"_Everyone's_ hearing it." said Godai. "You can hardly miss
it."

"I can hear it, but I can't make out the words," said Akane.
"What do you think Nabiki?"

"I think someone's little game is over," said Nabiki. "And
we should all get into the bus and move to a safer location."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll explain on the way."

***

"YOU LIED TO ME!!!"

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT!!!" yelled Ukyou. "I said I'm
sorry already! But I did it for YOU, for US!!!"

"HOW EXACTLY WAS IT FOR _ME_???!!!"

"You're still _alive_ aren't you," Ukyou looked at Ryoga
with loathing. Why was he being so single-minded about this.
Okay, she had made a slight mistake, get over it already!

Ryoga clenched the sheets tightly in his hand. "I trusted
you goddammit! I believed in you. I thought you believed in
me! I thought you loved me!"

"I don't know WHAT I was thinking!" said Ukyou. "I guess I
was on the rebound."

"I can't believe this. You..."

"Lied to you, I know! I can't believe you're being such a
jackass about this. Are you sure you didn't fall into the
spring of stubborn mule?" Ukyou snarled. "I've had enough!
I don't want to SEE you anymore! I'm going to get a train,
and I'm going back to Japan, and then I'm going back to
my REAL home - and I'm never coming back to Nerima EVER
AGAIN!!" She pulled on some clothes. "Oh and here's a
farewell present!" *SPLASH*

"Bwee!"

"Why don't you go crawling back to Akane! At least as her
pet you were USEFUL!" Ukyou picked up her bags. "Goodbye
Ryoga, I'd like to say it's been fun, but it HASN'T! I'm
going HOME!!!"

She stormed out of the room into the corridor, past the
astonished guests.

P-chan looked wildly around and spotted the tea kettle
on the bench. It was hot and full. Oinking with all his
might he knocked it over onto himself and Ryoga stood once
more. He dashed to the window and opened it. Ukyou heard
it slam open as she stormed across the drive.

"FINE!" yelled Ryoga. "GO home! I'll send you a POSTCARD
from PARIS!!!"

He slammed the window shut, and then burst into tears.

As Ukyou continued down the path, tears prickled her eyelids.
She spotted the bus across the street and went over to it
to get the rest of her things. Everyone stared at her as
she got on to the bus.

"What the HELL are all of YOU doing HERE!" she demanded.

"Uhhh..." said Mousse. "We're..."

"What were you thinking of Ukyou?" Akane burst out. "How
could you do that to poor dear Ryoga?"

"Quite frankly, if I ever hear "poor dear Ryoga" again,
I'm going to be sick!" Ukyou snarled. "And what business
is it of yours anyway?!"

Akane was taken aback.

"Hey..."

"Look, Ucchan, I can sort of see where you're coming from
here." said Ranma. "But how could you but into a man to
man fight?"

"AARGH!" Ukyou threw a spatula at him. "Is that all you
can think of? Well from now on Ryoga can get into all the
man to man fights he wants to!"

"What do you mean Ucchan? And why do you have all your
bags with you?" asked Ranma.

"I'm going home."

"Back to Ucchans?" asked Konatsu. "Why?"

"No, HOME! To my father." Ukyou grabbed the last of her
things. "See ya Ranchan." she left the bus.

Ranma was about to go after her when suddenly Akane grabbed
his arm. "No," she said. "Let me. You go talk to Ryoga."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" asked Kiyone.

"CURSE YOU KAZETEN! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!" Ryoga's
voice rang out clearly.

"Yeah. I'll go talk to him," said Ranma. "Anyone got a
small tank I could hide in? Anyone? Anyone? Mousse?"

"You're on your own Saotome," said Mousse. "Good luck!"

"Thanks." Ranma and Akane also left the bus.

"Well," said Godai. "That was scary. Uhh... how does this
affect the tour?"

To be continued

 

Chapter 21

Index