Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

***

Part Two. A Week Later.

Ukyou looked over the numbers, leant back and threw her pen
against the wall. "Damn it all!"

"Still not adding up?" Ryoga inquired. He leant over her
shoulder and perused the accounts.

Ukyou sighed and rubbed her eyes. "We have enough money for
the bus, the food and the petrol, but not enough for the
permits required to travel to China, or outfitting the bus."

"I have some money." Ryoga offered. "I don't know how much,
but you can have it."

"You don't have _this_ much, sugar." Ukyou held up the final
accounting. "I thought I had more savings, but most of my
profits get ploughed straight back into the restaurant. Plus
getting a good education is expensive. If we had some paying
customers and a sponsor... but this is supposed to be a
_present_."

"Well why don't we get a sponsor?" Ryoga put down the plate
he'd been drying for the last six minutes and sat down next to
her.

"Because the only person I can think of who'd invest in this
enterprise is... Nabiki Kuno."

*Hwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*

"You're right, better a deal with the devil than her."

"Now is that a nice thing to say to your future partner?"

"Nabiki!"

The pair of them rose to their feet and spun around. Nabiki
Kuno, socialite, investor, multimillionaire, and sister of
Akane Tendo, stood in the kitchen door.

"I came in for an okonomiyaki and to see how the two of you
were doing together *smirk* and I couldn't help overhearing
your little problem. Tell me more about this business venture
of yours."

Ryoga's mind raced as he tried to think of an answer that would
satisfy the money-grubbing little sneak... I mean, the woman in
front of him. He opened his mouth.

"We want to start a mystery tour service together," said Ukyou,
whose mind had raced a lot faster and had come to the
conclusion that if they didn't have Nabiki's help, the whole
plan would fall apart and she'd lose her last chance with
Ranchan. "We'd like to give the first tour to Ranma and Akane
as an engagement present."

"Oh, home-made gifts," teased Nabiki. "How very rustic of you.
Now I gather you're having financing problems? What can Nabiki
Kuno do to help you?"

Ukyou showed Nabiki the figures. "It's the initial set up that
costs the most." she explained. "Once we've got going and
gotten some paying customers it should take care of itself and
more."

"But you want the first time to be with Ranma... and Akane."
Nabiki's voice lingered suggestively and she smiled at the
two innocents before her. "Understandable, given how... close
you all are. Very well kiddies, I'll help you. But to advance
a loan I'll need some collateral."

"I have some money." Ryoga volunteered again.

"Yeah, we're talking _real_ money here honey. But thanks for
the thought." Nabiki dismissed him, then smiled at Ukyou, who
swallowed.

"The only thing I can offer you," she said hollowly. "Is
Ucchans."

"Perfect!" said Nabiki. "I'll advance you the money you need,
on the condition that you extend the tour to include paying
customers so that we can see if it is capable of making a
profit. If it fails, or you don't have the cash to repay me,
I'll take the restaurant in lieu."

"Ukyou... you can't..."

"Shut up you jackass, I'll do whatever it takes!" Ukyou
slammed her hand down on the table.

"My my, you really want Akane and Ranma to have a wonderful
pre-wedding holiday don't you?" smiled Nabiki. "Just sign
here," she whipped a form from behind her back.

*Where did she get that from?* wondered Ryoga.

Ukyou signed on the dotted line and tried not to feel like
she was signing away her first-born.

"All done. See, it didn't hurt. I'll have the money in the
morning. The rest is all up to you." she waved and headed out
the door. In the doorway, she paused. "Oh by the way, I'll be
coming along to see how you do. I will pay for my ticket of
course."

"What's the matter, think we're going to run off with your
money?"

"No, I just feel like a... _relaxing_ holiday." Nabiki's tone
indicated that she expected it to be anything but. "Ta ta!"
With this parting shot, she was gone.

Ukyou licked her lips and sat back down. "Well, Ryoga, it looks
like we are going to be putting in long hours."

Ryoga stared at her. "Your restaurant? You didn't have to do
that, not for me."

Ukyou's hurt turned into rage and she glared at him. "I'm not
doing it for you, jackass! And if you screw this up you'll
be spending the rest of your miserable life washing dishes!"

Ryoga regarded her and nodded. "Yes, I understand. Shall we get
started?"

Surprised by his calm attitude Ukyou's rage subsided. "Okay,
okay"

***

Three Days Later:

"Ukyou, we've been working for three days straight, can we
_please_ sleep?"

"You're a Martial Artist, this should be easy!"

"It was easy when I was sixteen!"

"You're only twenty-one!"

"Believe me, there is a lot of difference in those five
years."

"Whatever, but you've got to admit that we've done a
_great_ job."

They regarded the bus which they had converted from an old
ordinary tour bus, it was now a double decker capable of
taking twelve passengers plus the crew, i.e.: Ryoga and Ukyou.
It also had a lot of extra features including a shower, toilet,
kitchen, tables and fold-down beds on the upper deck. The idea
was for the passengers to camp outside, but should there be a
storm it was possible to accommodate everyone.

"Yeah, I agree, Ukyou, this is a great bus."

"What's left on our list of things to do?"

"Well, let's see. We've completed the bus, all the engine
checks, and stuff, we've got the food and linen in and the
first aid kit. We have six paying customers, (strange that
Konatsu decided to come). All in all it looks good."

"Well, not really since I have to close the restaurant while
we're doing this." Ukyou shrugged, "What's left?"

"Invite Ranma and Akane."

***

"Hey Ucchan! Nice to see ya, and you too Ryoga." Ranma
grinned at his friends as he invited them inside.

Ukyou gave him a hug. "How's it going, Ranchan?"

"Just fine, fighting it out over the wedding arrangements."

"You can say that again." Akane smiled at Ryoga and Ukyou as
they entered the main room.

Ranma flopped onto the floor and sighed. "Sometimes I wish I
could get away from it all."

Ukyou and Ryoga looked at each other and smiled. "Funny you
should say that... " said Ukyou.

Ryoga handed Ranma a big box, Ranma and Akane opened it and
peered inside, Ranma picked up a small envelope and opened it.

"Surprise!" chorused Ryoga and Ukyou.

"This is your engagement present." beamed Ukyou.

"'Hibiki Mystery Tours'?" Ranma frowned, "Is this a joke?"

"No, Ranchan, this is for real. It's your engagement present,
yours and Akane's, it's my and Ryoga's new venture and we want
you to be a part of it."

Akane looked at the little brochure. "It looks lovely, and
this bus is amazing! Did you both do this?"

Ryoga gulped. "Y... yes." he managed to get out. Ukyou gave
him a subtle but sharp elbow in the ribs. "Ow! I mean... so
will you come?"

Ranma frowned, if it had been Shampoo or Kodachi offering
this trip he would have said 'no' straight away, but this was
Ukyou, his best friend, and she hadn't chased him romantically
for four years. Also it was Ryoga, his best rival, who
wouldn't know a cunning plan if it beat him repeatedly over
the head and then danced around him singing 'I am a cunning
plan, I am a cunning plan'! He looked at Akane.

"Well? I'm all for it."

Akane smiled, if it had been Shampoo or Kodachi offering this
trip she would've said 'no'. However, this was Ukyou, Ranma's
best friend, who always came through when they needed her, and
Ryoga who she knew as a sweet and generous guy who never had
any nasty plans up his sleeve.

"I'd love to go."

"YATTA!!!" Ukyou leapt to her feet and punched the air. "This
is going to be the best thing we've ever done!"

Ryoga grinned, this had worked perfectly. He looked at Akane
who was sharing Ukyou's jubilation. *soon she will be mine*

***

Two days later

Ukyou looked at the mess before her and sighed. "I'm never
going to be ready! And we leave _tomorrow_!" She flopped down
onto her bed, what wasn't covered with clothing and other
items, and closed her eyes.

There was a knock at her bedroom door. "Ukyou-sama, can I
come in?"

"Hai, Konatsu." Ukyou didn't move as Konatsu opened the door.
He saw her lying there and rushed to her side.

"Oh! Ukyou-sama! Are you alright? Do you have a fever? Let
me help!"

"Baka!" Ukyou sat up and pushed him away. "I'm only tired and
frustrated, I don't know what to take with me! Typical, we
restrict the passengers baggage and _I_ have several bags too
many!" She shook her head and smiled ruefully. "Anyway,
Konatsu, what did you want?"

"Well, I've finished packing all the kitchen utensils and the
food supplies into the bus, I came up to see if you wanted to
look it over."

Ukyou rubbed her eyes. "Right, yes, thanks... I'll come down
in a minute." She took Konatsu's hand. "It's really good of you
to help when you are a paying passenger, Konatsu!"

Konatsu looked at her hand holding his and started to suffer
severe love overload. "Ukyou-s... sama... "

Ukyou noticed the signs and got up quickly, she had come to
realise that stuttering and a flushed face usually preceded
a hug from Konatsu, and she didn't want to encourage the poor
guy.

"I'll go down now." she said and left.

Konatsu stayed where he was, gazing at the hand she had so
briefly held and sighing.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!" Ukyou yelled.

"H-hai!"

***

Downstairs Ryoga was looking after the restaurant. He wasn't
a master at okonomiyaki like Ukyou, but since his stints in
the restaurant tended to be at times when the customers were
light he went for the 'make your own' approach and that was
fine. At the moment there was only one couple sitting at a
table so he was engrossed in looking at a map of China.
Contrary to popular belief (i.e.: Ranma and Ukyou), Ryoga could
read a map, he just couldn't follow it. (Although he would
often claim that he could and it was the mapmakers fault for
drawing the continent completely wrong and making Paris look
_exactly_ like Tokyo.) He traced the outline of China and
frowned.

"It's a big place alright, it will take a while to drive it,
not as long as it took to _walk_, but we only had three weeks
to do this tour so we can't get too lost, but with me driving
that's guaranteed." Ryoga muttered to himself. "Ukyou said
she'll read the map for me, but she'll need to rest and cook
so... " He paused. "Wait... when do _I_ get a break from the
driving?"

Ukyou wandered in. "Ryoga-kun, everything ok?"

"Hai, but I have a question,"

"What?"

"Am I doing _all_ the driving?"

"Yes, I can't drive and... oh... problem." She looked at him
and bit her lip. "You _can't_ do all the driving! Our plans
will fail completely if you are too tired from driving to
charm Akane!"

Ryoga nodded. "What do we do?"

"Konnichiwa!"

They turned and saw a handsome man their own age standing in
the doorway. Ukyou blinked once and then went into her cheerful
host mode.

"Welcome to Ucchans Okonomiyaki. Care to take a seat?"

The man looked at her and smiled, his teeth glittered. "Are
you the chef?"

"Yes, Ukyou Kuonji's the name, Okonomiyaki is my fame."

"I would say your beauty is your fame." He stepped closer to
Ukyou.

She blushed. "Ano... can I take your order, sir?"

"Yes, a kiss from your lips."

Ryoga, who had been watching idly from the counter, looked
very hard at the man when he said this.

"Mikado Sanzenin!"

Ukyou, who had been stunned into silence by the unusual
'order', frowned.

"You know him, Ryoga?"

"Yup! Biggest sex-obsessed, egomaniac next to Kuno that I've
ever met." Ryoga looked around anxiously. "Uh... your skating
partner isn't here is she?"

Mikado shook his head. "No." He walked up to Ryoga. "Where
have we met? Your face is vaguely familiar."

"The... er... 'Charlotte Cup' skating match four, five years
ago."

Mikado thought for a minute, then he snapped his fingers. "Ah
yes, you were that brute who so mistreated that adorable girl
with the pigtail who swooned at my kiss."

Ukyou's jaw dropped. "Does he mean who I think he means?"

Ryoga grinned, he _always_ found this hilarious. "Yes, Mikado
here was given the honour of being the one to give Ranma his
first real kiss."

Ukyou's lips moved soundlessly for a moment. "Did... did Ranma
swoon?"

"No, but he was very embarrassed." Ryoga's smile grew wider.

Mikado looked confused. "I do not understand you."

"Never mind." said Ryoga. "So, what would you like, and don't
ask to kiss Ukyou because then I'll have to hurt you and that's
not good for business."

Mikado gazed at Ukyou who was still struggling with the idea
of Ranma being kissed by a boy (that wasn't Kuno who didn't
count). "Is this lovely lady yours then?"

Ryoga went bright red, Ukyou snapped back to reality and glared
at Mikado. "Don't be silly, me? Belong with that jackass? We're
just business partners."

"R-right." stuttered Ryoga. "What would I want with a girl like
her?"

*CLANG*

Ryoga yelped as Ukyou's spatula connected with his head.

"Jackass!" she growled.

Mikado frowned at Ryoga. "You are insensitive, how could you
demean such a flower?" He leaned towards Ukyou. "As of today,
I will cherish you."

Ukyou fended him off with the dented spatula. "Hold it right
there, I am _not_ interested in you!"

Mikado looked forlorn. "What a sad day, spurned by beauty as
well as spurned by the employment office. Do you not have
pity?"

"Like we'd believe that." muttered Ryoga rubbing his head.

Ukyou however lowered the spatula and peered intently at
Mikado. "Out of a job?"

"Yes, all I can do is Martial Arts skating." Mikado sighed,
his efforts to charm Ukyou forgotten in his own misfortune.
"I could have gone on, but I can't stand being with Azusa
anymore. Her 'cute' collecting is just out of control."

"What does he mean?"

Ryoga shuddered. "Believe me, you don't want to meet Azusa!"

Ukyou nibbled a fingernail in thought. "Hmmm... can you drive
Sanzenin?"

He blinked. "Yes, I had to get a license to drive the Kolkhoz
High School skating team I was coaching to the competitions."

"So you've driven vans and buses?" Ukyou asked eagerly.

"Yes."

Ryoga gazed at Ukyou in horror. "No, no no no, _no_!"

"Ryoga, it's perfect! We need another driver, he needs a job,
what could be more convenient?"

"The man is a sleaze! Five seconds ago he was chatting you up!"

"I can handle it. Do you know of anyone else who could do the
job at such short notice?"

"...."

"Thought not." Ukyou turned to Mikado who was listening in
total confusion. "We have a job for you."

"nonononononono.... baka girl... "

"Shut up, Ryoga. Well?"

"Doing what?" Mikado asked

"Driving a bus! Ryoga and I are partners in a Mystery Tour
venture and our first trip starts tomorrow, but we don't have
a reserve driver to relieve Ryoga. We need you!"

Mikado smiled, it was not a very glamourous offer, but it
would get him away from Azusa, and Ukyou Kuonji was so cute,
by the end of the tour he would make her fall in love with
him and steal a kiss from her lips. "I accept."

"Terrific!" Ukyou beamed, "our problems are over!"

Ryoga put his head in his hands. "No, I think they've just
begun."

***

THE NEXT DAY

At 6.30am, the converted bus parked outside the Tendo Dojo.
Ukyou stepped up to the door and knocked. Kasumi let her in.

"Ohayoo, Ukyou-chan. It's a lovely morning, ne?"

"Ohayoo, Kasumi-san. What are you doing here?" Ukyou asked as
she removed her shoes.

"Oh, we are staying with Father and Saotome-san while Akane
and Ranma are away. They need someone to look after them."

"Hmmm... yes, I guess they do."

They entered the dining room where Ranma and Akane were sitting
at the table with all their luggage, and finishing off their
breakfast.

"Ohayoo, Ranchan, ohayoo, Akane-chan." said Ukyou in a bright
tone. "Ready to go?"

"Ohayoo." said Akane with a little yawn. "We've nearly
finished."

Ranma yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Why the early start,
Ucchan?"

Ukyou smiled at him. "We have to pick up our reserve driver
and the other passengers, it's all part of the Hibiki Tour's
service."

Akane chuckled. "You are really getting into this aren't you!
I love your uniform!"

Ukyou was no longer wearing her okonomiyaki chef's clothes, she
was now dressed in a smart pants-suit which consisted of a cute
bolero style jacket over a softly styled shirt, tailored pants
and elegant boots (these Akane couldn't see as they were in the
genkan*). Her hair was pulled back into a smooth ponytail
and one of Ryoga's bandannas was around her neck. She smiled at
Akane's comment.

"Arigato, Akane-chan, this was Konatsu's design. He has a real
talent, ne?"

"Mmmm... "

Ryoga came in at that moment, he was dressed in a male version
of Ukyou's outfit, his bandanna however was still tied around
his head. He said good morning and helped Ukyou carry out the
bags.

Ranma stepped forward. "Can I help?"

"You just take your hand luggage, Ranchan." said Ukyou. "It's
our job to do all this."

"And our pleasure." said Ryoga smiling at Akane.

Akane smiled back. "You are so good at it too. I already feel
relaxed!"

"That'll be the day!" muttered Ranma.

Akane glared at him and then relaxed. "I am _not_ going to fight
with you on this holiday, Ranma. We don't want to spoil Ukyou
and Ryoga's present!"

Ryoga and Ukyou, who had watched the potential fight begin to
develop with interest, laughed nervously.

"Ah... haha..."

"Hehheh... "

"Have fun and take care." said Kasumi brightly.

Akane hugged her sister. "You look after yourself too, onesan."

"Where are Tendo-san and Saotome-san?" asked Ukyou and they
walked to the bus.

Ranma grinned. "I managed to convince Oyaji and Tendo-san that
we weren't leaving until tomorrow and that they should go on
a training trip for the weekend. If they had been here I know
they would have found a way to get involved in this."

Ukyou and Ryoga glanced at each other. Interference from the
corner would have been most unhelpful, a lucky escape!

Akane gasped in delight when she saw the interior of the bus.
"It's lovely! The brochures just don't do it justice! You two
must have worked really hard!"

"Yes" said Ukyou as she guided them to seats near the driver's
seat she thought about the sleepless nights and the bone-aching
work she and Ryoga had done. *This better be worth it!*

Ryoga got on after storing the luggage. He smiled at Akane and
nodded to Ranma. "Ready to go?"

Akane nodded excitedly. "This is great!"

"Let's go!" said Ranma, an uneasy expression crept across his
face. "Uh... Ucchan, is Ryoga driving?"

"Yes, Ranchan, but don't worry I'm guiding him."

Ranma still looked doubtful. "I think I know why we had to
start so early."

Ukyou sat down beside Ryoga and frowned. "Be nice, Ranchan."

"Doomed." muttered Ranma and then winced as Akane elbowed him
in the ribs.

Ryoga fired up the engine and the bus moved out.

***

End of Part Two

*GLOSSARY:

Genkan: Entranceway where shoes are kept 

 

Chapter 3

Index