Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 11

"Good morning children!" said Nabiki.

"Good mor-ning grand-mother Nabiki," chanted Suka and Miya,
who then spoiled the effect by giggling.

Nabiki shook her finger at the couple and looked at the
rest of the table. Godai and Ranma both looked like death
warmed up - clearly a case of the morning after the night
before. Mikado was flirting with Konatsu - didn't the man
_ever_ stop? Konatsu was eating his toast with a bored
expression on his face. Hmmm... better do something to
spice that situation up before Konatsu got too bored and,
ahem, revealed all to Mikado. Nabiki had a nice little
pool going on the day that he would work it out and she
didn't want it spoilt. Especially after all the fast
talking she'd had to do on Suka... for some reason he
seemed to be against the prospect. Good god, Kiyone was
_still_ drunk. Well, that's one way to avoid the
hangover. Nabiki watched enviously as Kiyone downed
another glass of something purple. Well, from the sounds
of it she badly needed to drown her sorrows. Now... where
were the interesting group?

Ah. There they were. Ukyou was poring over maps and
brochures as though her life depended on it. Guilty conscience
honey? Akane was... *sigh* insisting on talking to Ryoga
over breakfast _again_. Hadn't she noticed the way he
acted when she did that to him? It's not like most people
_intentionally_ eat the cutlery. Nabiki stared.

Ryoga turned and saw Nabiki staring at him, *What? Do I
have something down me?* He spooned more cereal into his
mouth. *Bleurgh, bran flakes. Sometimes being a martial
artist is more than I can take. My body may be a temple
but I never intended it to be a monastery! What I
wouldn't give for a nice slice of shortbread.* He tuned
back in to Akane's voice. For some reason, this seemed
odd.

*He's... he's NOT eating the cutlery!* Nabiki stared in
awed fascination. Then Ukyou raised her head. "Ryoga!"

Ryoga bit through his spoon.

*Aha!*

***

"Morning!" Mousse waved as the Tour bus arrived.

"He looks bright." observed Godai clutching his head.

Miya gave him another cold towel. "Are you _sure_ you
won't stay at the hostel? You look awful."

"This is my holiday damnit! I'm going to enjoy myself
if it _kills_ me!" he put a hand over his mouth. "Just
don't get between me and the door!"

"Hi Mousse." Ukyou grinned at him. "Glad to see you made
it to your hotel alright."

"Yeah, I just had to avoid 60 women." Mousse said casually.

"So many?" Ryoga smirked. "Hey, Ranma, he's stealing your
secret technique."

"Belt up, pig-boy!"

"Anyway, I've got lots of things to show you." said Mousse.
"Where would you like to go first?"

"Ummm..." Ukyou looked at her notes. "Well, there's the bird
market..."

"Sorry, no." Mousse was firm. "Last time I went there I got
closer to the merchandise than I intended."

"Wak."

"Shut up, Saotome."

"Okay then." Ukyou looked over towards Hong Kong Island. "How
about we start there?"

"Good idea, Kuonji!"

"Mousse, you can call me Ukyou."

***
On the ferry:

"Urgh."

"Just lean over the side, Godai."

"I am!"

*splash!*

"What did you do that for?" Ranma-chan screamed at the
grinning Kiyone.

"Just checking."

Nabiki smiled. She had taught her well.

"Ryoga, you can't stay in there all the way. It's sooo
lovely."

"I'm sorry, Akane-san, but I..."

"He has a fear of open water, Akane-chan."

"Really, Ukyou?" Akane blinked. "Actually, that does explain
his behaviour in Hangzhou." she left the cabin.

"I don't know if I should thank you for that." said Ryoga.

"Consider it part-payment for last night." said Ukyou sweetly.
She sat down beside him. "Anyway, it's good she's gone. Now
we can be alone."

"Guh?" Ryoga stared at her.

"Yes." Ukyou leaned closer.

Ryoga's nose twitched.

"I have a plan."

Ryoga's heart stopped racing. "Oh." he frowned. "Are you
still going ahead with this, even after last night?"

Ukyou flinched slightly. "It was a temporary setback. Besides,
you still love Akane, don't you?"

"Umm... well... *What does she want to hear?* Ummm..."

Exasperated, Ukyou loomed over him. "_Well_?" she demanded
"What is it? Yes or no?!"

Ryoga gulped. "Uh... yes?"

***

"Wow... this is cool!" Miya cried.

"You can see all of Hong Kong from here!" Mikado leaned
forward.

"Watch it!" snapped Konatsu. "You're squashing me!"

"Tram rides are fun, aren't they Akane-san?" Ryoga said
lamely. Ukyou had shoved him next to Akane and pulled
Ranma away the minute they got on the tram. He was now
attempting to make small talk, and was failing miserably.

"What are they doing?" Akane said, she was trying to get
a good look at Ukyou and Ranma who were at the other end
of the tram, talking to the driver, or at least trying to,
none of them spoke English that well.

"It's a nice day too." Ryoga continued in desperation.

Kiyone looked at him oddly. "Are you okay, Ryoga?" she
asked. Kiyone had sobered up during the ferry ride, the
ice water thrown at her by Ranma probably had something
to do with it.

"Oh I'm _fine_." said Ryoga flatly.

"You don't look happy." she pointed out.

Akane heard this and looked worriedly at Ryoga. "You do
look down." she said, then her expression became contrite.
"Gomen, Ryoga-kun, I haven't been very good company, have
I."

"Oh, I don't think it's _that_." said Nabiki, she licked
her lips. "I think Ryoga is thinking about someone else."

Ryoga narrowed his eyes. "Oh? I am?"

"Yes, a pretty chef."

Ryoga glowered. "I am _not_!" he snapped. "There is only
one woman whom I love!"

"So you admit it then." Nabiki smirked. "You are in love
with Uk..."

Ryoga leapt to his feet. "Aha! We have arrived!" he cried
and bolted for the door.

Unfortunately it hadn't been opened yet.

*Crash!* *Crack!*

"Oh dear." muttered Nabiki trying not to laugh. "There goes
more of the Tour funds."

***

"Jackass! Bakabaka... JACKASS!!!!!!!!" *Crunch!*

Ukyou finished spatularing Ryoga into the sidewalk and
then hit the wall next to her a few times for good measure.
"What the hell were you _doing_?!"

"Whoa... Ucchan's really mad."

"No kidding." Akane glared at her older sister. "What were
you saying to him oneesan?"

"You heard me Akane." Nabiki shrugged. "I have _no_ idea
what got him so upset." *He reacted very strongly, he must
have it bad. Good.*

***

"You'll like this zoo, Ranma." said Mousse.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, the primates will make you feel right at home."

Ranma stopped. "Okay, _that's it! You are going _down_
duck-boy!" He began to glow faintly blue.

Kiyone observed this and turned to Suka, Miya and Godai.
"You know, I've heard that this zoo has nocturnal animals."

"And they would be kept somewhere dark and enclosed and
safe?"

"They would indeed!"

"Let's go look at the nocturnal animals!" cried Godai.

They moved away.

Nabiki, Konatsu and Mikado paused for all of one nano-second,
then followed.

Ryoga began to follow. He was pulled back by his bandanna.

"_And_ just where do you think you're going?" demanded Ukyou.

"To look at the nocturnal animals?"

"No! We have to stop this!" Ukyou waved a hand in the direction
of Mousse and Ranma.

"Do I have to?" Ryoga asked. "Couldn't we just let them wipe
each other out?"

"RYOGA!"

He finched, "No hitting, no hitting!" He sighed. "Okay, I'll
do it. But I'll need _your_ help Ukyou."

"Me?"

"It has to be a girl."

"Ask Akane then you dope!" Ukyou was furious, honestly, he
kept missing the point entirely!

Ryoga rolled his eyes and ambled off towards Akane, who
was watching the fight develop anxiously. He whispered in
her ear. She laughed.

Ukyou fumed. *Normally I would _love_ him to be chatting
her up, but we have kind of a crisis situation on hand
here! Hey, since when did _he_ get to be such a smooth
operator around her?*

Akane clasped her hands together, and in a loud clear
voice yelled:

"Oh WOW! It's MU SHU the IDOL SINGER! Can I have your
autograph?!!!!"

Akane may have been speaking in Japanese, but the
message got across. Women began to converge on the
area.

Ryoga dragged Akane free of the morass and then grabbed
Ukyou. "_Now_ can we go look at the noctural animals?"

"I think they're this way." Ukyou headed off at high
speed.

***

Shopping vinaigrettes:

After being chased out of yet another department store:

"Hey Mousse, want another pair of sunglasses?"

"No!"

"Hey Mousse, I've got the perfect disguise for you. I
guarantee that no-one will recognise you this time."
*SPLASH*

"QQUAAAAAAACK!!!"

"Hey! Noone warned me about the throwing knives!"
Mikado fled past the group at high speed.

***

"Does this dress make me look fat?" Kiyone asked.

"Kiyone, _nothing_ could make you look fat," said Miya.
"I'm totally envious, how do you keep your figure? Are
you on a diet?"

"Alien metabolism."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Can someone get this zip?" Akane asked. Ukyou obligingly
zipped the back of the dress up.

"Thanks, what do you think?"

"Er... you did realise that it's see-through didn't you?"

"EEEPPP!!!"

Ukyou giggled and turned away as Akane frantically searched
for a different outfit and fumbled through her choices of
clothing to try on. Her hand came up with a silver dress.
"Hey, this isn't mine!" She held it up and examined it.
"_Definitely_ not mine."

Nabiki examined it and pursed her lips. "Try it on."

Ukyou did. The next ten minutes were occupied with the
combined efforts of every other female in the changing room
to pressure her into buying it.

***

"I'm... so bored..." said Ranma. "What are they DOING?!!!"

"Get used to it," said Godai, hands behind his head. "This
happens a lot."

"So speaks the great romancer." drawled Ranma sarcastically.
"Where's Konatsu?"

"In the changing rooms," replied Ryoga.

There was a pause.

"_Which_ changing rooms?"

***

"Is this me? How about this? Does this suit me? Does it go
with my eyes? What about this one? What do you think?"

"You look beautiful Mikado, can we go now?"

***

"Thank GOD that's over," declared Ranma. "What a waste of
time, stupid girls fretting over their clothes..."

*SPLASH*

"I didn't see _you_ hurrying up," said Miya to Ranma-chan.

"Great, now they're _all_ doing it," said Ranma-chan.

"But it's so much FUN!" said Miya.

"Don't even think about it," said Suka.

"Ukyou, have you been talking to them?" Ranma-chan asked.

"Huh?" Ukyou jolted herself awake.

"Are you okay?" asked Kiyone. "You have huge dark circles
under your eyes."

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." said Ukyou, waving. "I have to
navigate for Ryoga."

"Where are we going?"

"Wong Tai Sin temple," Ukyou replied. "It's... that way."

Ryoga started the engine, "Are you sure?"

"Of COURSE I'm sure... _I'm_ the one with the sense of
direction!"

"Go ahead and rub it in, don't spare my feelings or
anything," Ryoga grumbled. They drove off, waving to
Mousse as they went.

"Bye Mousse!" yelled Kiyone.

"How come he isn't coming along?" Godai asked.

"Oh, he's got some function to go to for his movie,"
Suka shrugged.

***

"Okay." Ukyou yawned. "Keep going down the motorway, there's
a turn-off to the temple."

"Right." Ryoga moved into the slow lane. "Was this the best
way to come? I mean, we had to leave the city and I thought
this place was in the Kowloon."

"It is." said Ukyou sleepily. "I thought it would be easier
to go this way, despite being longer, 'cause I don't think
I could navigate that well in Hong Kong traffic, especially
when it's getting dark."

"Hn." Ryoga nodded and kept on driving.

Ukyou looked blearly back at the others. Mikado had fallen
asleep, Konatsu too, both were leaning against each other.
*Konatsu's gonna kill him.* Ukyou thought. Ranma, Akane,
Miya and Suka were idly talking, and the rest were looking
out of the window in a glazed fashion.

Ukyou sighed and slouched down in her seat. She was so tired.
It had been hard to get to sleep last night and it had been such
busy day. She yawned and her eyelids drooped.

***

Ryoga frowned. *You know, I've been driving for a while now
and I have a nasty feeling I'm not on the motorway. Hmmm...
there are a lot of lights over there though, I could've
just gotten to the city by mistake. Not likely though. It's
really dark now, I can hardly see, even with the lights* He
looked over at Ukyou.

Ukyou was fast asleep. Ryoga gulped. *Uh oh.*

He decided that the best option would be to pull in and
find out where they were. A large shape loomed up nearby.
*Hmmm... looks like a garage or something. I'll pull in
there and wake up Ukyou, maybe we can find someone there
too.*

He drove the bus into the garage. *Up a ramp? Odd.*

Ryoga stopped the bus, leaned over and tapped Ukyou's
shoulder. "Hey... Ukyou, wake up."

"Hmmm... ?" She blinked and opened her eyes.

"Ukyou, we've gone... uh... a bit off track."

Ukyou tried to focus on him. "What?"

"Hey, why have we stopped?" Ranma asked. "Are we there?"

"Looks a bit dark to me." said Nabiki.

*CLANG!*

Ukyou jerked awake. "What the hell was that? Where are we?"

"That's my line." said Ryoga.

"You jackass! Are we... "

"Umm... guys, I think we're moving again." said Suka.

Ryoga looked down at the steering wheel. "It's not _me_."

There was a low rumbling noise.

"Whats that?" asked Akane.

"Have no idea." said Ranma.

"It sounds like a... a plane taking off." said Kiyone.

"Very close by." said Miya.

There was a horrified silence.

"Not close by." Ukyou was white.

Ryoga met her eyes. "_We're_ on a plane!" they both yelled
as there was a lurch and they were pressed back into their
seats.

The huge cargo plane climbed higher and higher into the sky,
the pilots unaware that they had acquired some new and
unwilling cargo.

***

To be continued. 

 

Chapter 12

Index