Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 12

*THUD* *bump*

"Well, we've landed." said Ryoga.

"No kidding." drawled Ranma sarcastically, from his upside
down position on the seat. "What gave it away?"

"This is no time for bickering." said Miya shoving Suka off
her lap and scattering the pillows that had landed on them.
"Where are we?"

"In an aeroplane." replied several voices.

"Thank you _so_ much."

Ukyou was almost beside herself with panic. *I can't believe
this is happening, I can't believe this is happening. It's
not fair, it's not fair, NOT FAIR!!!!*

Ryoga turned to ask her a question, but it died on his lips
when he saw her white lips. The rest of the group were in
varying states of fear or anger.

*Amateurs* he thought.

"Mikado, get up here and take the wheel." he ordered.
"Everyone else sit down, don't panic and SHUT UP!"

Surprisingly everyone obeyed him.

"What are you going to do?" demanded Ukyou.

Ryoga ignored her and delivered instructions to Sanzenin.
"When the door is opened is clear, drive out _quickly_,
and get to a safe place outside of the airfields. I'll
meet you."

"But won't you get caught?" Akane asked.

"Don't worry." he reassured her. "I have the perfect
disguise." *After all, who would suspect a cute black piglet?
As long as I don't get mistaken for a lunchtime snack!* he
thought pocketing the water pistol he had confiscated from
Kiyone some hours before. "Just wait for my signal."

"What will that be?"

"You'll know when you see it." With that, he was gone.

"What do you think that was about?" asked Mikado.

"BAKUSAI TENGETSU!!!!!"

"That's the signal!" cried Ranma. "DRIVE!"

Mikado jammed on the acelerator and the bus sped off.
It thundered out of the cargo plane, passed several
surprised (and dazed) airport crew and crashed through
the fence.

***

Ukyou moaned. "Just look at the mess he made!" she eyed
what they could see of the airport from their hiding
place behind some trees.

It was indeed a mess. Quite a few things were on fire,
security and safety crews were running around in a manner
not entirely unlike chickens without heads, Ukyou felt like
joining them.

"Look on the bright side." said Nabiki. "At least this time
you won't have to pay for it. Unless he gets caught of course,
in which case we'll have bail him out of a prison."

Ukyou just moaned again.

"I wonder where we are?" Kiyone said.

"We're in Burma." said Ryoga as he swung back onto the bus,
his clothing was slightly damp. "I hid our tracks, but we'd
better get out of here quick, my diversions won't hold them
off for long."

"Burma??!!" cried everyone.

Mikado got out of the drivers seat and Ryoga sat down and
started the engine.

"Where are we going?" Mikado asked as he was thrown back into
a seat as the bus jolted along.

"Away from here." Ryoga replied, he gritted his teeth as the
bus bounded over the rocky ground knocking over small trees
and running down bushes. Ryoga risked one side-long glance
at Ukyou, she still looked rather shell-shocked. Ryoga
frowned, he'd have to do something about that, as soon as
he found a place to stop. Luck favoured him as the bus soon
lurched onto a dirt road.

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Akane cried.

"Oh yeah?" said Ranma. "Where exactly? We're in Burma and
we don't know nothin' about it!"

"Ryoga will look after us." Akane said confidently. "He's
used to getting lost in strange places."

Nabiki drew out a book - it was a guide to South-East Asia,
she started to flick through it and found the section on
Burma. "Interesting... " she murmered after a while.

Godai grimaced. How could she read while the bus was lurching
around like a drunken sailor?

Ryoga swung onto another road, it was a little smoother and
there were some signs. He looked at them. "Right." he said.
"Mandalay it is."

"Wait!" Ukyou snapped out of her self-induced paralysis.
"Before we go _anywhere_ we have to talk about what we're
going to do!"

Ryoga briefly considered ignoring her, but then decided
Ukyou had had enough for one day, besides it wasn't worth
the pain. He pulled over and parked the bus off the road.

"Well?" he turned to Ukyou.

"Burma... " Ukyou rubbed her temples. "I don't know
_anything_ about it!" She gazed hopefully at Ryoga.
"Well?"

Ryoga leaned back in his seat. "Well." he said. "I
can speak the language - a bit, I drifted through
Rangoon and Mandalay once. Other than that..." he
shook his head.

"It's got one of the world's strongest black markets."

Ukyou and Ryoga turned to see Nabiki standing behind
them. Ukyou frowned. "Oh?"

Nabiki smiled. It was not a nice smile. "I've studied
economies like this, I find them... interesting."

"And profitable too, ne?" Ukyou's voice was hard.

Nabiki's smile grew. "Clever Ukyou." she murmered. "The
point is, you don't have to worry about the money side
of things, I'll deal with that. You two just get us out
of here before anyone gets curious and finds out we're
here without visas."

"What's your fee for this service?" Ukyou lifted her chin.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Nothing... if all goes well."
She walked away.

Ryoga made a rude noise. "Great, another 'favour' from
Nabiki."

"She's right though." said Ukyou. "We _have_ to leave here
as soon as possible."

"If we try to avoid people and race for the border we will
attract attention." said Ryoga. He thought for a moment.
"Our best bet is to take it slowly and _be_ tourists, we'll
worry about the border when we get top it."

"'_be_ tourists'?"

"Uh-huh." Ryoga grinned. "Hey, we're Japanese, walk around
with a camera, say 'aahhhh' alot and photograph _everything_.
We'll be just fine."

***

Mandalay:

"How... *gasp*... much... *huff*... further?" panted Suka.

Ranma patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, man. There's
just 726 steps more to go until we get to the top of the
hill."

"WH... *gasp*... AT???!!!"

"Miya, I think Suka fainted, although it's hard to tell
at this distance."

"I _told_ him going up the 1726 steps of Mandalay Hill with
four martial artists was a mistake, Godai."

***

"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!"

"Akane! Are you okay?!"

"I think she bit her tongue, Konatsu."

"Is Mikado driving, it's really bumpy!" cried Kiyone holding
onto the edge of her seat.

Mikado looked up from the floor. "I'm innocent!"

"Gomen, everyone!" Ryoga called. "It's just these damn
roads."

"Oh well then." said Nabiki. "I won't sue you."

Ukyou swallowed and tried to keep her breakfast down.
"N-n-next l-left..."

***

Rangoon:

"Please follow me!" Ukyou called loudly waving her green flag.
"Welcome to the Shwedagon Pagoda, it is the spiritual heart
and soul of Burma. At the top of this stairway is the golden
pagoda which is over five centuries old. It is covered with
gold and precious stones donated by royalty..."

"Aaaahhhh..." sighed the rest of the group.

*clickclickflashflashclickflash*

A Burmese man stared at the group and shook his head.
"<Tourists!>"

***

Ryoga smiled at the old woman. "Mingala ba. Sabai Phyu
resthouse beh mah lai?"*

***

"And turn left here," said Ukyou. "Alright, the border
should be..."

"<Halt the bus and prepare to pass through customs!>", the
highly armed border guard ordered as Ryoga abruptly hit
the brakes to avoid running over him.

"Around here somewhere... oops."

The guard made a gesture with his gun, "<Do not attempt to
flee or you will be shot!>"

"What did he say?" asked Akane.

"He said to stop and not run away," said Ukyou.

Ryoga was surprised. "I thought you couldn't speak Burmese?"

"I can't," said Ukyou. "But I do understand the universal
language of automatic weapons. What are we going to do??!!"
She wailed.

Ryoga thought fast. They'd hoped to sneak over the border
into Thailand, but obviously that was now out. They couldn't
just burst through the border - he was good, but not
bulletproof, and they didn't have any papers. This was not
good. Hmmm... time for something creative.

"Mikado! Take the wheel!" Ryoga headed up the stairs.

"Where are you _going_?!" demanded Ukyou.

"When the screaming and running starts, head for the border
as fast as you can," he called back over his shoulder.

Ukyou sweatdropped. "This is another one of his plans, isn't
it?"

"Hey, they work, don't knock em," said Suka. "Everyone sit
tight."

Ryoga hit the top floor of the bus and moved along to the
back window, which he opened. Closing his eyes he
thought back over his life. His mother going out to the
kitchen to bring in his sixth birthday cake... and
disappearing for eight months. His dad going out to get
the paper... and calling from a transatlantic flight.
All the times he'd fought Ranma and lost... All the times
Akane had said she could trust him and the guilt he'd
felt. All the times Ukyou had spatula'd him into the wall
for saying something stupid. He felt his ki surge at that
one. Hmmm... Ukyou gazing lovingly at Ranma... now he
was REALLY depressed.

Opening his eyes Ryoga aimed out the back window.

"SHI SHI HOKODAN!!!!!"

*FOOM!*

"<What the hell?>" the border guard looked on in horror
as a large section of forest was vaporised. "<It must be
bombs! NATO missed again! Everyone take cover!>"

Mikado and the others faked panic and sped towards
customs. They smashed through the wooden barriers and
headed into Thailand as quickly as possible.

"Geh... I think my heart stopped." said Ranma.

"Don't tell me that you didn't have faith in Ryoga after
all?" asked Ukyou.

"No, I thought NATO really HAD missed again. He's getting
too damn good at those shi shi hokodans."

Ukyou looked worriedly up the stairs, "He hasn't come
down yet. I'm going to go check on him."

Upstairs, Ryoga was slumped on the floor, drained after
the massive ki blast. *Urgh, that was more powerful than
I'd intended. I wonder if...*

"Ryoga!" Ukyou hurried to his side. "Are you okay? You're
not hurt?"

"Just tired," Ryoga said, attempting to get up. "Whoa."
The room spun around him. "Bad idea." he slumped back
down again. Ukyou looked concerned. "Just give me a
couple of minutes," Ryoga reassured her.

Ukyou nodded, turned away, and then hesitated. She turned
back. "Ryoga, I want to thank you for all this. You really
came through when we needed you." Then she turned and
went downstairs.

Ryoga smiled cheesily. "You're welcome!" he called after
her. *I really like her.*

***

Thailand:

"It is so HOT!" panted Godai, fanning himself. He pulled
at the collar of his shirt and wished that the girls were
elsewhere so that he could take it off.

"My mascara is melting!" wailed Konatsu.

"So is mine!" wailed Mikado.

"Oh gross," Konatsu looked disgusted.

Kiyone lay on the floor of the bus and dreamt of ice
planets.

Nabiki was still reading her South East Asia guide. "It
says here that it's always this hot at this time of year."

"Goodie," said Ranma sarcastically. Akane just moaned.

*BOOM!*

"Agh!" Everyone jumped, the bus listed.

"It's the border police! They've come for us!" screamed
Mikado.

"Oh shut up," Ryoga's disgusted voice carried back to the
others. "We've just blown a tyre."

"Is that bad?" asked Konatsu.

"Not really," Ryoga pulled the bus over. "Just means I
have to change it, and we have a couple of spares. Quite
frankly, I'm surprised we haven't lost one before now.
Especially with the Burmese roads." He stopped the bus.
"Everyone out while I set this up, it's quite a task."

"Need any help?" Ranma offered.

"I think I can manage," laughed Ryoga.

"Yeah, that's our Ryoga." said Ukyou. "Strong as a bull
and twice as thick. Able to leap tall buildings in a
single bound. Hell, he could probably _carry_ the bus
to Bangkok."

"Hmmm..."

"Don't even think about it Ryoga. I was just being nice
so that I can wriggle out of helping. Now fix the tyre."
She turned to the rest of the group. "While he's doing
that, why don't we go rest under that nice shady tree
over there and drink some of the iced drinks in the
fridge?"

"Great idea!" the group chorused.

***

Ryoga lifted the bus carefully in one hand and with the
other gently slotted the new tyre onto the axle. The
burst tyre lay beside him. Once the tyre was on, he
gently lowered the bus, and began to tighten the nuts
of the wheel. This task done, he headed for his reward.

"I can't believe this!" wailed Ukyou. "I _know_ I
packed a bottle opener."

The group stared at the bottles. They were ice cold,
and the liquid in them sloshed enticingly. So near...
and yet, so far. Attempts to open them by hand had
only resulted in very sore hands.

"Maybe we could break them?" suggested Suka.

"Then they'd get glass in the contents," Godai pointed
out.

The group stared at the drinks, truly now understanding
the nature of hell.

Ryoga wandered up to the group. "Tyres changed." he said.
"Oh great! I've been dreaming of these for the last eight
kilometres." he picked up one bottle.

"Uh Ryoga, we don't..."

Ryoga put the bottle in his mouth, hooked one of his
fangs over the edge and popped the lid off, spitting it
into his hand. Then he threw his head back and drained
the drink in one mighty draught.

"What the hell?" Everyone facefaulted.

"Ah, that was good." Ryoga said. "Can I have another
one Ucchan?"

"Sure Ryoga," Ukyou said, recovering. "But first I need
you to do us all a _little_ favour."

*Oh god*.

She handed him several bottles. "Start opening." she
ordered.

***

"Bangkok, at last!" cried Ukyou. "I thought we'd _never_
make it!"

"Yeah." Ryoga agreed. "The traffic around here is terrible!"

"Are we going to be staying in a hotel tonight?" Akane
asked plantively.

Ukyou turned and looked at her. "I'm sorry Akane-chan, I
know it's been rough sleeping on the bus." she grinned.
"But thanks to Ryoga's language skills and the map I
bought in Nakhon Sawan I've found a place for us."

"Great!" enthused Miya clapping her hands.

"Its called the Malaysia Hotel."

"Which way?" Ryoga demanded. "I'm hitting an intersection
here!"

"Oh." Ukyou glanced at her map. "Go left."

"Right."

She glared at him, he grinned as he turned left.

"Don't _do_ that to me!" Ukyou scolded.

Ryoga chuckled, it was fun to tease her sometimes.

"Oh wow." breathed Kiyone. "Look at those waterways!" she
pointed.

"We've been following this river, haven't we?" Godai asked
Nabiki.

"Uh-huh." Nabiki nodded. "My book said that Bangkok is called
the Venice of the East and the people use the waterways for
all sorts of things like living, selling and so on."

"There are some houses on stilts!" Konatsu cooed. "How
kawaii!"

"I hope we can go and explore there." said Suka.

Ranma shuddered at the idea of exploring a shopping area
created on water, he didn't think Ryoga would be that keen
on it either.

"Okay, here's the hotel." annouced Ukyou.

Ryoga pulled into the driveway. "I told them we'd be here
at about 5.30pm and it's just past that now."

"Great!" Ukyou dimpled at him. "See, I told you that we had
to allow the extra time in case you got lost and I was
right."

"It wasn't _my_ fault." protested Ryoga. "You got distracted
and didn't tell me which way to go!"

Ukyou laughed. "Oh come on, you drove into a barn! You
could've figured out that was wrong!"

"Hn!" Ryoga opened the bus doors and he and Ukyou left to
speak to the hotel manager.

"I hope we have some time here." said Konatsu. "I always
thought that Bangkok sounded exotic, ever since I heard
that song."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I could imagine you'd like
some of the things in Bangkok."

"I've heard that Bangkok has really cool nightclubs." said
Miya. "I'd love to see that!"

"Well, let's suggest it to Ryoga and Ukyou." said Akane.

Ranma grinned. "Hey, that gives me an idea."

"Oh no." groaned Akane.

"It's a _good_ idea!" protested Ranma. "It's all part of
my 'Lets get Ryoga and Ukyou together' plan."

"Ranma, don't meddle." said Akane. "I'm sure they're doing
fine without us."

Nabiki leaned forward. "On the contrary, Akane dear, I
believe Ranma's plan has merit." *Now this is a chance to
really have fun!* "If Ukyou looks like a sexy goddess at
a nightclub don't you think Ryoga will just crumble?"

"It won't be much good if he doesn't look good as well."
Kiyone said.

"True."

Akane, Ranma, Nabiki, Kiyone, Suka and Miya huddled together
making plans. Godai listened in with interest. Konatsu
started to sniffle *Oh Ukyou-sama. my love!*. Mikado's eyes
glazed over as he thought about Ukyou in... well, let's
just leave _his_ fantasies!

"Okay!" Ukyou sprang back onto the bus. The conspirators
jerked upright and fled back to their seats with slightly
guilty expressions.

"Uh... what's up?" she asked.

"Nothing, Ucchan!" Ranma grinned. "So, is everything okay?"

"Hai." she said. "Let's go inside."

Everyone filed off. Ukyou watched them go a suspicious
frown on her face. *What are they up to now?*

***

To be continued.

*Hello. Which way to Sabai Phyu Resthouse? 

 

Chapter 13

Index