Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her.... Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter? Rachel: Nooo! Ross: And it works both ways.

Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you. Chandler: Okay, the old hug and roll.

Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.

The One With The Jam

Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad! Monica: Oh, now you want a pad.

Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley? Chandler: Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.

Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store. Monica: My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'. Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?

Chandler: Okay, what do I do? Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented. Monica: If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call. Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy. Rachel: Yes, and grumpy.

The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel