Thanksgiving in my family is a big affair. Maybe if my mother didn't have 7 brothers and sisters it wouldn't be such a big deal but she does and every single one of them is "BIG" on family ideals. So traditionally we all gather at my grandmother's house for holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. Of course there are other minor family get-togethers but everyone is expected at the big three.
My mother has 3 older siblings and 4 younger siblings. The youngest Jimmy died when I was 10 years old but all the rest are living, married and continue the family tradition of mass population expansion. My Mother's oldest brother, John, is married with 3 children. Of those three children 2 are married with kids of their own. Then there is my mother's older sister Abby. She's married with four children. Matt and Carrie are the only two not married with children. Next comes my Uncle Rick. He's married for the 2nd time and has children from both marriages. Three girls are from his 1st marriage and 2 boys and a girl that are still in elementary school are from his second. His older three girls are all married but only one has a child. Then there is my mother who seemingly was smart and decided that her family would populate the world enough without her having more than one child. Next there is my Uncle Ben. He's divorced and has a son Hank. Hank's engaged so his girlfriend will be at the family gathering. My aunt Dana is married with three children, Jordan who had just married earlier in the month, Marissa, who teaches Tennis and Jeremy who is a senior in High School and wanting to be a Helicopter pilot. After Dana is Scott. His is married with three young children; Andrea 11, Kaitlyn 7 and Bryce 5. Every single one of my aunts and uncles and their spouses will descend on my grandmother's farm. Not all my cousin show up but by the end of the day if you bother with a head count you will discover that at least 50 people had been fed.
It's always been like this for as long as I remember. But it is not only family that comes to the feasts, sometimes cousins bring friends. Sometime it's girlfriends or boyfriends and other times it just we are just friend friends. Always no matter who is there is it a day filled with good food, good times and much love.
Thanksgiving this year was no different. Just like the ones before it, the families would spend the night before preparing different dishes, then the next morning we'd all head to grandma's house. Lunch would be promptly served at 1 PM after a prayer led by my Uncle John. After we eat our fill and then some we will find a chair and a table and break out the cards to play Euchre or maybe UNO. Some of the family will gather around the TV to watch movies or if the guys got a chance to steal the TV from the kids it would be sports preferably football. We will spend the day laughing, playing and eating as the fire snapped and cracked in the old wood stove and the kitchen smelled of all the wonderful smells that always says you're home.
This was the Thanksgiving I expected when I left Wolf Lake late on Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving. My mother had hated the idea that I would be traveling late but I couldn't see how I could leave early. It wasn't that I had class that night. Emily had told us at the beginning of the semester there wouldn't be class. The reason was traveling late was that I had stayed until 5 PM at school helping Emily, Jane and Clarissa do some catch-up that needed to be done because of all the time Emily had been forced to take earlier in the semester. Then I had to go to my apartment and pack up everything that I had let accumulate. Plus I had to go out to the Bowling Alley and see some of my Deaf friends that I hadn't gotten to see much of because of having Emily's class on Wednesday Night. So it was after 8 PM before I would get on the road south.
I wasn’t worried about what Emily would do she had assured me she was going to be spending a quiet day at home with Nora. Everything was as it seemingly should have been as I left Wolf Lake for home.
The next day was cold and wet but the sun was trying to peek through the clouds. My mother and I had stuffed three dozen deviled eggs after I made it home at close to midnight. We headed the five miles to my grandmothers at 10 AM with everything with us but the kitchen sink and the dog. My mother lived the closest to Grandma except for Scott and his family so she had the honors of being the one to help make sure grandma had everything set-up and organized. By 11 AM Aunts Abby and Dana, Uncles Rick, Scott and John and their close families were arriving carrying in mounds of food. We always laugh and say there is always enough food to feed an army. I guess we don't realize it but the family is a small army.
I was sitting on one of the 4 sofa's reading a book when Carrie came in and sat down beside me poking me in the ribs so I'd turn my hearing aid back on. "Hey you," she said with a smile.
"Hi Yourself," I answered grimacing at all the noise the family was already producing.
"I hear you twisted Matt's arm and sent him to a Natural Childbirth Class with a friend of yours."
"News travels fast in this family. I did but I was sicker than a dog. If I had been remotely thinking I'd have realized Matt wasn't a good choice. I should have called you. At least you know how to sign a few words."
"I don't think he minded as much as he let on. He's not stopped talking about what's her name... Emily since that night."
"He tells me that I'm in big trouble and he will get even with me. I know some of the things he did to you growing up so I'm not exactly looking forward to my retribution." I laughed.
"He's all bark and no bite. Most of the stuff he did was childhood pranks that would only bother an image-conscious teenager."
"Were is he anyway? He never passes up a chance for a free meal and leftovers."
"He called mom last night after I was already home and said something had come up but that he and a friend would drive down this morning."
"Matt's bringing a guest? I think that's a first for him."
"I doubt the friend is a girlfriend. It's probably his basketball buddy Mike or someone else equally as annoying. You know it will be someone who would rather watch football than see a good movie."
I laughed, "Well, that's Matt for you. But at least he plays Euchre with us while the game is on. It's not like he has to watch every play."
"True," Carrie answered as Marrisa joined us.
"What are you two chattering about?"
"Jeffery Matthew and football at Thanksgiving what else," Carrie and I said together.
"Where is Jeff any way?"
"He'll be here soon. Where is Victor, the love of your live?"
"Already parked in front of the TV talking to Hank and Angie," Marissa answered as Matt aka Jeff open the old wood door and held it open for his friend.
"Oh, my God," I muttered under my breath.
"Who is that?" Carrie asked just as shocked but in a different way than I was.
"That is Emily Wesson. Matt's neighbor and my professor and friend."
"What?" Marissa asked as Emily took off her coat and everyone but my mother and Carry's mouth hung ajar. "Oh!"
I jumped up and went to Matt and Emily. I signed, "Hello." And then gave Emily a hug. I'm sure my family was lost but I didn't care I was going by the rules of Deaf Culture.
"Hi, cuz. Think this is enough pay back?" Matt asked as he took Emily’s coat and started toward the back bedroom where everyone puts their coats.
"It's something alright," I answered to his shadow before I signed, "What happen? Nora Where?"
"Past Evening Nora oldest son came my house. Home with him she go. Tell her bye, Matt see me. My home he came. Thanksgiving here he ask me come. Fine me say."
"Good. Me surprised. Sit. Me warn. Couch ++ soft (pc=Puff cheeks. Means extremely and is a facial adverb)
"Thank You."
"Ride here Fine++?"
"Yes, Bathroom first need."
I directed her to the bathroom using classifiers as everyone gathered around me but Matt to find out who and why she was there. "Emily is my teacher. She's also my friend. Matt lives next door to her now. Emily's aunt has been staying with her (I didn't bother explaining that Nora isn't really her aunt.) but Nora went to spend Thanksgiving with her children. Matt then asked Emily to join him and his family for Thanksgiving here."
"Does she speak English?"
"She can but I'm not certain to how well you will understand her if she does. She was born Deaf and doesn't have word recognition. It's hard learning to speak if you don't understand words."
"How will we talk to her?" Aunt Dana asked
"She would mostly appreciate it if you wrote notes to her but she can read lips. I will tell you that you can't act like you do with me and get all huffy if she doesn't understand what you are saying if you force her to lip-read. You either repeat what you said in a different manner or you write it out for her."
"Won't you interpret for us?" my cousin Mary questioned.
"I can't. She won't let me. It's not my place or responsibility to be her interpreter. Oh one other thing always make sure she can see you lips and face if you are talking to her. She really won't have a clue what is being said if she can't see your face."
Matt came back into the room with Emily, "I hope my bringing her here is okay?"
"Sure, why not. But make sure she's not left out Matt. You brought a Deaf woman into a house of hearing people who have no clue how to interact with her. Because they don't know they will try and forget she's here. You have to keep her a part of what is going on. I know all too well what being a Deaf person is like in this family."
"I will! I guess I had better break out a pen and some paper and tell her who is who."
"That would be a start." I said and then signed what was going on to Emily, explaining what I had told my family and Matt.
At 12:45 I found my Uncle John, "Um, can you do me a favor. When you go to say Grace don't bow your head. You can close your eyes but if you bow your head Emily won't be able to see your lips and won't know you are praying."
"Sure thing kid. Is there anything going on between the two of them?" John asked inclining his head to where Matt was sitting with Emily at a table."
"Not that I am aware of there being."
"Who’s the dad?"
"He's deceased. She has no one but her friends at school and her aunt Nora."
"So Matt brought her here out of the goodness of his heart?"
"Yep, I suppose so."
"And that baby is due when?"
"Christmas."
"Okay I see." John said moving off toward the kitchen to start gathering the masses for the saying of Grace.
Everything went great. My family, bless their hearts, really tried to do everything they could to accommodate and include Emily. It wasn't always smooth sailing and there were glitches and misunderstandings but in general I felt they did really well. After we had all eaten until we could eat no more Emily sat down with Matt, Carrie and I. We proceeded to play Euchre. Emily used gestural communication to let us know suites. We didn't need our voices to play the game. It was probably the first time ever that there wasn't boisterous laughter from our madcap playing but I don't think we any really realized the difference at least not then.
Later my little cousins all ganged up on Emily wanting to feel the baby kicking. I explained what they were all wanting. She just sat there and let them clamor all over her with a contented smile on her face. I never have asked her but I'd like to think that even though there was such a vast cultural rift between the World of my family and Emily that she did feel as if she was included and not out of place. I'd like to believe that we all made her feel well... like family.