Rodney Earl--Vice President

I, Rod Earl, being of sound mind and the vice presidential candidate, don't even know if I am supposed to be writing a mission statement to get onto the ballot, so I won't.

First of all, the Apathy party stands for all that is good and worthwhile about apathy.   We are not so apathetic, per se, as the name would imply.   Rather, we symbolize apathy, embody the principles on which it might have been founded had anyone the opulence to form such a foundational characteristic.

"No T.V. and no beer make Homer something, something."

Furthermore, with this Apathy campaign, we hope to accomplish.   This we plan to do by taking stands.   Unless, of course, those stands belong to someone else, then we might just take poles, and maybe even a picture or two.   Then again, in all likelihood, we will probably end up taking a nap.

My dad looks funny when he takes naps. He doesn't snore, but he breathes weird.  It's kind of Erie.

The platform for this campaign has vehement apathy for campus politics, voter turnout, campus supported activity attendance, plate techtonics, etc. Pangaea!

Wheretofore, I pledge to uphold all of my promises herein made, forthwith, previously, and appertaining to, and I promise to care EVERY SINGLE TIME it is convenient.

As you can tell, I am not as apathetic as the presidential candidate of this or the other parties we represent, therefore, I am a presidential candidate in vicial form, dang it.   I don't care to finish this thought.   Is this 500 words yet?

Bye.

Rod