Sweet Dreams
by Amorette

"Ooogh," said Iolaus eloquently, reaching for his throbbing head. "What did I drink last night?"

A familiar voice responded, sounding amused. "Do you really want to know?"

Iolaus opened one eye, just enough to confirm the owner of the voice, then shut it again because the light was painful.

"No, not really." He swallowed against the bile in this throat. "Where are we?"

"My temple. The main bedroom in my temple."

Iolaus moved, feeling parts of himself that were sticky and parts that were aching. "Crap. Where's Hercules?"

"Asleep." Even though Iolaus still had his eyes closed, he could tell Ares was grinning broadly. "We wore him out, poor thing."

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Taking a deep breath, Iolaus opened his eyes. Yup. Black granite walls. Ceiling mural depicting the death of Achilles. Ares' bedroom in his main temple in Corinth.

"I thought it was a brilliant idea." Ares, who didn't have a hangover, sounded disgustingly cheerful. "You thought it was brilliant. Hercules thought it was brilliant."

"Hercules and I were drunk. You're just crazy." Moving slowly, Iolaus sat up and took the goblet Ares extended towards him. Ares was naked, his cock hard against his belly. Iolaus didn't take it personally. Ares almost always had an erection. Iolaus swallowed the cool water and felt his headache and nausea receded. One thing he could say for Ares, the God of War knew a good hangover cure. "Where's Iphicles?"

Now Ares grin grew so broad, Iolaus thought the god's face would split. Iolaus wondered, not for the first time, how many teeth Ares had.

"Sleeping peacefully in his own bed. As far as he knows, it was all a dream."

"You know something, Ares, we are sick bastards, seducing poor Iphicles like that."

"Who, us?" Ares laughed, dropping back on the bed next to Iolaus. Hercules gave a startled snort, then rolled over and fell back asleep. "Your parents were married. My parents were married. Iph's parents were married. Herc. . ." Here Ares jabbed his elbow in his half-brother's ribs, which elicited another snort but didn't wake him. "Herc here is the only bastard."

"Still, we are sick! I mean, here's poor Iphicles, trying to be a good king, trying to make his wife and mother proud, and we come along and snatch him out of his bed, fuck him twelve ways to Tartarus, then stick him back in his bed so he thinks he's the perverted one."

"Why should he think he's perverted?"

"Because he had a dream last night in which his half-brother, his half-brother's best friend and a god fucked him silly!"

"So?" Ares was leaning on one elbow, his free hand tracing the line of Iolaus' thigh. "I only got the idea because Morpheus told me about Iph's dreams in the first place. We were all in 'em. Just not all at once."

Iolaus groaned. "You don't get it! Alcmene raised Iphicles and Hercules to be nice, well-behaved, moral young men. The only reason Hercules isn't still a nice, moral, well-behaved young man is because you and I made sure that was impossible."

"Oh, relax," said Ares, leaning over to nibble Iolaus' ear. "So Iphicles thinks he had perverted sex dreams. Show me a mortal who doesn't have perverted sex dreams. Show me a god, for that matter."

"Athena," came Hercules' sleepy voice from behind Ares. "I bet Athena never dreams about sex."

"You're kidding, right." Ares leaned towards Iolaus. Iolaus didn't know for sure what Hercules was doing behind the body of the god but he must have been doing something. "She has a thing for Aphrodite you would not believe."

Iolaus, who was letting his eyes close in pleasure under the effect of Ares' hand, opened them again. "Aphrodite? Athena, the professional virgin, has the hots of Aphrodite?"

"Virginity," replied the god with a gasp, "is usually defined, for a woman, as having cock inside her."

"Like this," said Hercules in a low hiss. Ares shifted his body and moaned.

"Right." Ares was panting a little. "And Athena has no interest in cock."

Iolaus, who was scooting around to give him better access to Ares' cock, laughed. "Foolish woman. Pussy. Cock. I'll take anything anybody has to offer, as long as it's above the age of consent and willing."

"That," said Hercules, as he rolled over, pulling Ares up on to the god's knees, "is because you are a slut."

Iolaus took a moment to answer as he got himself arranged under the god. Ares was on his hands and knees, giving Iolaus perfect oral access to that glorious god cock. Fortunately, when it came to sex, Ares was always willing to return the favor.

"I'm a slut," mumbled Iolaus, "a' pwoud ov it."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," said Hercules as he started to thrust slowly and deeply into his half brother's ass. "You may be a slut and a pervert but I still insist on good manners."

"Umpf," was all Iolaus said, although it was very eloquent, as was the "Ahh," that followed.

***

Rena, Queen of Corinth, lay back, panting, as her husband collapsed over her, spent.

"Well," she said, brushing Iphicles' hair back, "That was a nice eye opener. What brought it on? Naughty dreams again?"

Iphicles didn't answer. He just slid down between his wife's legs and started licking. Dreams, my ass, he thought, feeling the ache and the stickiness that lingered in said ass. Hercules and those pervert friends and/or relatives have been at it again.

January 2002