Hold the Mushrooms Please

By Sandman


Iolaus was concerned--well not a lot-- but definitely some. Herc was supposed to show up yesterday, meet him at the lake, but Iolaus was still fishing alone. The sun was almost past zenith and beginning its slow descent toward the horizon, the sky was clear and cool, the deep gray blue of late winter and the air was crisp and clean. Demeter would soon have Persephone back at her side and Iolaus could feel the difference in the climate already. Still, even the beautiful day couldn't shake the worry away.

It wasn't as if Hercules hadn't done this before, he reasoned. After all he was always getting called for help. That didn't stop just because Iolaus wasn't with him. And Iolaus had wanted a vacation. Just because Herc had chosen to travel on to Corinth for a few days, didn't stick him on a strict time table. Nah, no sweat. The big guy would be here. Iolaus would just fish til then.

He watched the string in the water as a quicksilver school of fish brushed past his line without taking a bite. He'd already caught two, enough for lunch, but if he caught extra, they could cook it and eat it later he mused. He sat alertly on the bank of the lake taking in the miragelike quality of the sun on the water and pondered how things often weren't what they appeared to be.

Iolaus decided to lie back, let the sun kiss him with its first rays of warmth. He propped his head up on a rock so he could see his line and rested back. A frog croaked from the edge of the lake. A bird sent a serenade his way, and the grass whispered in the light breeze. This was the life, Iolaus thought to himself. No monsters. No farming. No stress. Just a quiet day fishing.

He had barely settled in when he heard a crashing noise, a snapping of twigs under foot, a rock crushed to powder and a small tree felled. Startled, the hunter jumped up, leaving the fishing line loose on the shore. He spun around quickly, his tousled curls gleaming golden in the sunlight, as he automatically assumed a fighting stance.

Out of the edge of the woods staggered Hercules, across the field and towards the lake.

"Iola!" He called out in confusion. "Why are there fish falling out of the sky?"

"What?!" Iolaus stared at his friend in concern. "Herc, what's the matter with you?"

Hercules raised his arms over his head, ducking and weaving side to side. "Come on Iola. Don't tell me you can't see that it's raining fish?" There was an edge of contempt to Hercules's voice.

"It's not raining fish," Iolaus countered. "And for that matter why were you crashing through the woods like that? You're not yourself. And why are you calling me Iola?"

"You've got to be joking, Iola," the big man countered. I wasn't crashing through any woods, I was staggering through a desert and when I came upon you the fish storm started." He shook his head in disgust. "They stink too. I'd say they weren't fresh."

Iolaus was definitely concerned now. All he could see was a warm and sunny late winter afternoon, a beautiful pond, great woods for hunting and his friend acting as if he'd lost his mind.

"This is NOT a funny joke, Herc." Iolaus stared across at his friend, hands on hips and a wary look on his usually happy face.

"I'm not kidding. Watch out!" Hercules swatted at the air above Iolaus' head, losing his balance and falling on top of the smaller man, pressing him firmly into the dirt and seeming just a little too happy to be on top of Iolaus. "Darn, it got away," he said with a disgusted click of his tongue. "Biggest mosquito I've ever seen." He dusted off Iolaus's forehead with a dirty hand then kissed him tenderly on the same spot. The big man's face softened as he took in his golden friend.

"Oh, Iola, I've missed you," he whispered as he trailed his lips down Iolaus' nose and pressed them firmly against the smaller man's lips. He pressed Iolaus down against the soft grass and held him firmly by the shoulders.

"Herc, get OFF of me!" Iolaus pushed at the bigger man, scrambling to get out from under his friend's muscular torso. He rose to his feet, pulling Hercules up by the arm. "What is going on here?" He rubbed his face and glared up at Hercules.

"Darned if I know," Hercules answered with a scratch of his head. "But at least the fish rain stopped. I was getting a headache; they were really pounding down there for a while." He turned, staring at the mirrored shine of the pond. "Sure, I'll go in," he said to no one in particular.

Iolaus let his jaw drop as he saw Hercules start shucking off his clothes.

"Uh, Herc, it's kind of cold to be swimming."

Hercules continued talking to the lake, ignoring the stunned Iolaus. "Oh. I'll take you on, don't think you're disguised, just because she can't see you. I'll do anything to protect my Iola." He struggled out of the leather pants, unsteady and awkward, stripped down now to only his breechclout, which the big man loosened and let drop.

"Hercules!" Iolaus was stunned and concerned. This was no game, no joke. Something was definitely wrong with Herc. He rushed to his friend's side, wrapping an arm around him. With effort he managed to get Hercules turned away from the pond. "Come on, buddy, let's get dressed, Iolaus cajoled.

No longer facing the lake, Hercules looked curiously down at the blonde. "Something's funny here," he mused. "One minute you're fighting me off and the next you have your arms wrapped around me, and when I'm naked no less. That's strange, but don't stop. I like it. It's kind of exciting actually." Hercules pressed himself against Iolaus suggestively, his shaft filling.

It was kind of exciting to Iolaus too, had always been exciting to see Hercules in any state of undress. This, however, he'd kept to himself. Hercules didn't feel like that towards him and there was no sense in ruining a friendship, simply because that part of him wanted attention. And now wasn't the time to pursue it either. Iolaus fought to keep himself under control. It simply wouldn't do to take advantage of Herc in this situation. No, if he ever got it together with Herc he wanted it to be consensual.

"Oh man, Herc, something's really wrong with you!" Iolaus shook his head, keeping his arm around his friend but backing away from Hercules's obvious erection and led him carefully and slowly back over to the pile of discarded clothes. "Here's your stuff. I'll help you get dressed if you want."

Hercules reclined on the grass and stared numbly up at Iolaus. "What's happening to me? He asked.

Iolaus tried to keep the longing out of his eyes as he let them drift along Herc's bronzed muscular torso, stopping just before he had to go run off in the woods to take matters into hand. "Darned if I know," Iolaus answered with a shake of his head and a grit of his teeth. He grabbed Herc's heavy leather trousers from the crumpled heap of clothing next to them and tossed it at him. "Get something on; it's a little cold to be running around mostly naked."

Hercules stared down at the brown woven pants, first curiously then with growing alarm.

"Um.Iola.did you notice something?" He stared unwaveringly at the trousers.

Iolaus sighed heavily. "If you mean something about the pants, then no. If you mean something strange then yeah.you."

"That's not pants! It's a pile of snakes!" Hercules roared. He grasped the woven brown trousers in a massive fist and started pounding them fiercely on a rock. Hercules didn't bother to try to rein in his great strength. Instead, he slammed a huge fist into the pants, then grabbing those by the leg began smacking them against the ground, the rocks and a nearby tree, breaking it.

"Herc!" Iolaus cried out in frustration. He ran to his friend, trying to rip the pants from the big man's grip and was rewarded by being flung with the now tattered trousers in an arc right into the cold lake.

Hercules stood on the shore, rubbing his hands together with satisfaction and nodding his head as poor Iolaus emerged shivering and sputtering from the cold depths of the gray blue water.

"Aw Herc, what'd you do that for?" he groaned as he stared up at the big man still wearing nothing but his birthday suit. "We need a fire to get warm and dried, but I'm afraid to start one with you like this," he muttered. Iolaus shook his hair like a wet dog sending sprays in Herc's direction. He shot Herc a glare and stalked over to his pack, stripping off his wet vest and grabbing a fur he slept on during cold nights, wrapping himself in it. Hercules sure knew how to take care of a "heated" situation, he thought to himself with a grumble.

Hercules walked over next to Iolaus. He gave the blond hunter a puzzled frown and took his own wet trousers back. "Why'd you get my pants wet?"

"OOOOHHH!" Iolaus held his head as if it hurt. "This can't be happening. Nothing makes sense. He clapped a hand over his mouth and paced in small circles around the bigger man, staring at the ground and muttering to himself. Finally, deciding that what ever was happening to Hercules was made worse with any stimulation, he decided to try another tactic.

"Put your breechclout on, and then get into those pants," he ordered. "They're no wetter than mine."

"Don't you like me like this?" Hercules, raised his eyebrows suggestively, but Iolaus waved him away, much to Herc's consternation.

Hercules complied finally, groaning as the cold leather passed over his thighs. The ripped areas on the tattered pants waved like small flags and several good sized holes exposed Hercules' flesh to the elements.

"Now come sit here." Iolaus patted the dry ground where he had camped the night before.

Hercules sat across from Iolaus, facing away from the lake as Iolaus had indicated. Iolaus moved closer so Hercules could concentrate on his face and nothing else. No matter how confused Herc had been, how aberrant his behavior, he had always recognized Iolaus's friendship and Iolaus meant to make the most of this.

"Look only at me," Iolaus commanded.

Hercules nodded solemnly. "My pleasure." He stared into Iolaus's blue eyes raptly, then let his eyes wander down the shivering compact frame of his friend, pausing briefly at the groin with raised eyebrows then raised his eyes back up with a sly smile, and a lick of his lips.

"Where have you been?" Iolaus asked trying to ignore Hercules's growing ardor.

Hercules looked puzzled. "When?"

"Today, no the last few days, since you left me here fishing."

"I went to Corinth to visit Iphicles. Stayed a few days, and came home."

Iolaus rubbed his face. That sounded fairly innocuous. What could account for Hercules odd behavior? "Did you happen to run into any of your half brothers or sisters?" Godly intervention was always a possibility.

Hercules shook his head thoughtfully, looked down at the grass near his crossed legs. "Spiders.moving in a column. Looks like there's going to be a spider war," he declared soberly. "He jabbed his finger deeply into the thawing earth. "Got the leader. Should avert problems now."

"Great." Iolaus rolled his eyes. "Focus on me Herc." He gently touched his friend's chin, tipping his head so Hercules eyes focused on his own. "Who'd you see besides Iph?"

"What I'm seeing now is plenty exciting," He answered leaning forward towards Iolaus, mouth opening slightly and reaching to the smaller man's shoulders and gripping them strongly. He tipped hiss head down, lips parting and eyes starting to close, lids heavy with lust much to Iolaus's horror when suddenly he seemed startled, as if he heard something. Hercules's eyes strayed up.

"Hey the sky is falling!" He jumped to his feet, extending his arms and flattening his hands, palms upward, grunting as he pushed up against the air. Iolaus watched as sweat rolled down Hercules's brow. His muscles bulged and he grunted more as he pushed back up at nothing.

"Yeah, yeah. Get it back in place and sit down here." Iolaus leaned back and stared assessingly at his friend as he labored to replace the falling sky. "Think you got it Herc. Sit down now."

Hercules gave a final grunt, a mighty push and dropped wearily back down into the grass across from Iolaus.

"Another labor, huh?" Iolaus, although concerned was starting to see the humor in the situation.

"Damn straight!" Hercules nodded agreeably. "I saved you. Would you like to show your appreciation? Anyway, I think we were interrupted. Damn those Gods."

"Oh man, now I know you're not kidding me," Iolaus shook his head. "Some one did something to you. But how? How does someone cause the son of Zeus to act so out of character?" he mused. "Think Iolaus!" He rubbed a small hand wearily through his hair. A long range zap from an angry god? Maybe, but they hadn't ticked anyone off lately and this was too petty to be Hera. Not Dite's gig, she wouldn't torture Herc like this. Maybe Ares but there was that war going on in Crete so he was probably too busy to be playing with Herc. Discord or Strife? Nah, there was usually a purpose behind their zaps. This hadn't hurt anyone, only made Herc look silly. Those two were after power.

Iolaus blew out a hard puff of air. "So who did you see on your trip?"

Hercules reached out and very carefully brushed the tip of the hunter's nose with his thumb, then pressed hard on it.

"Ouch!" Iolaus batted the big hand away. "What'd you do that for?"

"Another spider," Hercules explained with a solemn smile. "There sure are a lot of bugs around since this morning. I wouldn't want one to bite you my sweet Iola." He leaned forward again, eyes closed and mouth open and receptive.

Iolaus straight armed his friend back to an upright position. This morning. A clue. Iolaus rubbed his sore nose gingerly. "Remind myself to get him back for that one," he thought. "Did you see anyone this morning?" he asked, reaching out to his friend's face, turning it directly towards him. "Focus, Herc, think."

"Salmoneous." Hercules smiled, nodding. "We went out to breakfast together, ate at the Inn. Some egg thing that was all mixed up and Salmoneous had them add these mushrooms he'd picked along the way." Hercules twirled his hands as if he was mixing the eggs. "He had the chef there called the thing a vegetable omelet."

"Ah, gods, NO!" Iolaus slapped himself on the forehead. "Herc, you know enough not to eat mushrooms unless you picked them yourself. There's barely any difference between the good ones and the bad ones."

"I trusted him, Iola."

"Wrong idea Herc. You trusted him when he had you pose for charity and he gave you only a bunch of grapes to cover yourself with, and the grapes were falling off as I heard it."

"True, but he's basically a nice guy. And don't you wish you were there?"

"Well yeah, but not for the reason's you think." In truth Iolaus had always wanted to see that one, not just for the opportunity for everlasting teasing, but because, well being honest, because he LIKED to Herc naked. Iolaus paused and shook his head. "Mushrooms. I can't believe it." Iolaus shook his head. He was sitting cold and wet, with his leather pants clinging to him in the winter air with a friend strong as any god who was now a little out of control and making moves on him. He was going to have to talk to Salmoneus about this.

Iolaus knew he had to make a plan. The effects of the mushrooms could last from hours to days, and Hercules wasn't in any condition to tell him exactly which mushrooms he'd eaten.

"What about Salmoneus?" he asked.

"Salmoneous?" Hercules looked puzzled. His eyes were foggy and he seemed to be having trouble focusing. "The breakfast guy?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Iolaus rolled his eyes. "Did he eat the omelet?" Iolaus could just picture Salmoneous under the effects of the mushrooms. The pudgy sales man always had a scheme. He could sell sand to an Egyptian. If he'd eaten enough mushrooms he'd probably sell the clothes off his own back . . .to a nudist.

"Didn't like it." Hercules yawned. "Only ate a little. He got tired and I left him sleeping with his head on the table. You know, I'm kind of tired myself."

Iolaus took the warm fur off his torso, knowing that Hercules must also be cold with the tattered wet trousers on. He tossed the fur onto the ground placing his hands gently on the broad shoulders, easing Hercules into the enveloping grass. "Rest," he offered soothingly.

Hercules curled up on Iolaus's soft fur blanket, while Iolaus took Herc's own fur out of his pack and laid it tenderly over the big man. He seated himself next to his friend, hands clasped around his knees, the cool wind blowing across his exposed flesh and raising it in goose bumps.

"Why don't you come under the covers with me?" Hercules looked slyly up at Iolaus and smiled. I think I could keep you mighty warm on this cold night. Fact is I'm getting mighty hot just looking at you, Iola."

"I have a headache," Iolaus groaned, wishing he could in fact crawl in and get warm. Gods knew he wanted to be next to Herc now, wrapped in the strong arms, feeling the ardor, but for him and certainly not Iola. This was becoming a nightmare, the dream that could never be, was warped into nightmarish reality all because of some mushrooms. All the feelings he'd suppressed for years were being brought to the surface again.

"Now, Iola," Hercules chuckled. "You can get away with that now, but when we're married no headache is going to keep me from taking what I want." Hercules dropped his head to the soft fur, eyes closing as Iolaus tried not to look at the silken honey brown hair, the bronzed skin, the. . .oh Hades! This was never going to do.

"Great," he thought as he gazed over to his quickly snoring friend. How does one contain a rampant and hallucinating demi god? A few thoughts came to Iolaus' mind; none that he cared to try to explain to Herc when the mushroom's effects wore off however. Iolaus sat stewing for a very long time while Hercules slept, warm and comfortable wrapped in the furs. An adequate trade off, Iolaus knew, as the longer he slept, the less time he'd have to be dealt with in this state of delusion.

Eventually, the cold took its toll though. Iolaus sat soaked and shivering and wondered if his leather pants and vest might actually freeze on him. Night was falling and the cool air was now turning decidedly cold. Hercules slept warm and snoring, with a peaceful expression on his face that left Iolaus envious.

"I wonder." Iolaus thought as he slipped a hand under the fur covering Hercules to test its warmth. "Nice." He shifted closer. They'd slept together many times, sharing what little heat they could generate on cold nights and Iolaus found himself wanting to do that now.

"But in his state.I wonder if that's advisable?" Iolaus hunched into a tight ball against the late winter wind, teeth chattering and wondered if Herc would attack him; think an enemy or a bug or something was slipping in beside him. "Ah, to Tartarus with it. Herc would never hurt me," he thought. "And if he wakes aroused then I'll have to deal with it, for better or worse. He lifted the warm fur covering and slipped in next to Hercules.

Iolaus took in a deep breath. This was definitely better. With no fire, wet clothes and night falling he might have frozen to death out there. At least here, at Herc's side, he'd be warm and available if the big man needed him. Tartarus! He didn't really want to think about that "available" thought, but here it was popping up uncalled for. Even if he was able to fall asleep, he reasoned, and Hercules awoke in a delusional state he'd be right there to help, not half passed out from the cold. Iolaus knew he could make excuses all night, but besides being cold, he wanted to be here, next to Herc, close and warm.

Iolaus lay awake for most of the night, watching the stars trace their paths across the night sky. His breath came in frosty spurts and no matter how close he curled next to Herc he couldn't seem to get as warm as he needed. There were few sounds on a cold night as most of the animals were smart enough to hibernate, if even for the night. The hoot of a lone owl only made Iolaus feel colder and more alone. He wished his friend was better, no longer delusional, that they could hunt and fish as he'd planned. More than that however, he wished that Hercules really wanted him, Iolaus, not Iola, delusional girl of his dreams.

In truth he liked lying next to Hercules, liked the feel of the big man's body next to his. He always had. And if he thought for an instant that Hercules had a real interest in him, he'd have jumped at the chance to be his lover, as they had at another time so long ago, back when they were in academy together. It had been Iolaus who had broken it off, stupidly now he thought, but at the time Herc had been too young for such a commitment and Iolaus could only see his heart being broken. He'd been protecting it ever since.

D rn Sal and darn Herc for trusting him. Never trust a traveling salesman, he thought miserably. Well, he'd just have to play along with Herc's hallucinations until he could get him to Alcmene, she'd know how to help him. The night was long and Iolaus let his thoughts run wild. Could he control his friend if the hallucinations turned violent? Iolaus shuddered. Herc wasn't a violent guy, so he hoped Herc saw no worse than bugs. And what if Hercules kissed him, could he handle that?

Sometime just before dawn Iolaus found himself drifting in a semi-sleeping state, not dreaming, still aware of the hard cold ground that made his shoulders ache so and the stiff chill that had set into his muscles. His clothes were still damp, but thankfully no longer soaking. In his weariness, he thought he felt a movement next to him. A big arm slipped over him, the first purposeful movement since Herc had fallen so quickly to sleep. The big arm drew him closer.

"Iola." A soft whisper and warm breath against his hair made his eyes open wide.

Herc couldn't be kissing the top of his head, could he?

"Iola, I love you."

"Herc?" Iolaus raised an eyebrow, voice rising in confusion. He tipped his head upward and saw his best friend's eyes open sleepily. Surely this was a dream, and Herc would jump back quickly offering stuttered apologies.

"Oh, Iola, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Hercules drew Iolaus' body closer to his own and kissed the top of his head again. Iolaus felt Herc's hand rubbing down his side, thankfully stopping at his waist. The strong arms gripped him, keeping him from wiggling free. He felt Hercules press his erect shaft against his thigh, grinding it suggestively.

"Herc!" he almost shouted with horror. "Come on buddy, it's me, your best friend. Iolaus, hunter, warrior.MAN!"

"Iola," Hercules laughed softly. "I love it when you fool with me like that. I've never felt like this before." He stared into Iolaus's eyes solemnly. "Iola, I want you." He pressed his pelvis hard against Iolaus once again, grinding his erection into the smaller man's thigh as if setting a tent pole into the frozen winter ground.

"I can sort of tell," Iolaus muttered under his breath. This was sticky. He felt his own cock responding urgently to Hercules insistent rocking and thrusting, his stroking hand. "Uh, Herc, I don't think we should be in bed like this." Iolaus tried to squirm out of the fur covering, but felt the strong arms around him grip him tighter. What to do.play along? Oh how he wanted to, but no, not like this.

"Don't start getting shy now, Iola," Herc grinned. "You said you'd marry me." Herc moved slowly forward to Iolaus' face, eyes closing and lips parting. He ran his lips across Iolaus' cheek, down the line of his jaw, then back over towards his mouth, clamping his lips over Iolaus'.

Oh man was Herc going to regret this when the mushroom's effects wore off! Iolaus groaned. Gods! He'd HAVE to play along with it if was going to keep Herc happy and get him help. Placing his palms on Herc's broad chest he pushed back with his own considerable strength, managing to loosen Herc's grip and stop the kiss just as Hercules pressed his tongue forward.

"It's bad luck to fuck the bride before the wedding day," he retorted, wrestling free and loosing the furs so he could stand.

Herc shot him a suspicious glance. "I never heard that."

"Well I have," Iolaus thought quickly. "And I'm the bride, Right?" He slapped his hand gently on Herc's cheek as his friend rose sleepily. "And as far as that's concerned."

"Then let's get married now." Hercules stepped forward, grasping Iolaus by the waist. "By the gods girl, you're strong and solid!" He let his hands roam down Iolaus's compact frame causing Iolaus to shiver in repressed desire as the strong hands cupped his buttocks.

"Hey!" Iolaus slapped his hands away and jumped back. If Herc pressed any closer he'd feel Iolaus's own erection, then it would all be over. That would be a situation that was more than sticky. "Got to wait for the wedding night for that." He extricated himself once again, watching Hercules's crestfallen face, wishing he could truly respond.

"Iola," he cajoled. "Look, what will it take for you to marry me now?"

"We need to get your mother's approval," Iolaus danced sideways, avoiding Hercules' roaming hands. "We need to have a celebratory meal and let her get involved, and then we'll get the ceremony done."

"Iola," Hercules sighed and pulled his smaller friend close once again. He planted a heartfelt kiss in the golden curls as Iolaus quickly turned his face down. "If that's what you want, let's get going now. I don't know how long I can wait."

"Yeah great. Let's do that." Iolaus spun away from Hercules and started moving at a trot towards the road that should get them to Alcmene's by nightfall. Alcmene would know what to do.

"Iola!" Hercules called in a pained voice. "Don't run! We've got plenty of time to get to mother's. Besides, I want to spend some quality time with you!" He sprinted after the smaller man, reaching a huge hand out, barely managing to catch the back of Iolaus's vest, tugging him back like a leashed dog. "Besides, I'm hungry. A good wife should feed her husband, don't you think?" He smiled at the captured Iolaus, pulling him into a full embrace. Iolaus could feel the big man's warm carpet of hair pressed against his own hairless chest, the muscles rippling against his own with such sensuous passion that he was sure his erection would reach beyond Hercules and up to the sun. This had to end!

Iolaus struggled, but Hercules had him beat, and the mushrooms didn't diminish his strength at all. Herc held him tightly, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Iolaus'. He pried Iolaus's resisting lips apart with his tongue and slipped the questing member into Iolaus's mouth, caressing its warm wetness. Iolaus wanted to respond, held back trying to decide if he should feel miserable or simply enjoy this. "If only he really meant it!" Iolaus thought, "This has to be the worst day ever!" He sighed into Herc's mouth, wondering if he actually would have to kiss him back, risk the involvement,
when Herc broke the embrace. "I've got to stop any repeat performance," Iolaus thought, panicked. Herc had other ideas though.

"I see you liked that. Well, there's more than that for you, my little golden girl." He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Iolaus dropped his head and shook it, raising the back if his hands to his lips and rubbing them. "Look Herc, I caught two fish and cooked them yesterday. What do you say we eat them now and get on our way?" He ducked down, under Hercules's arms and slipped away, face reddening as he turned. He couldn't let Herc see how much he'd actually enjoyed that embrace. He quickly grabbed a handful of spring onions, fresh sprouting at winter's end and gave silent thanks to Demeter for the early gift. He chewed the whole wad quickly and thoroughly

"So. my bride can fish!" Hercules declared proudly. "Can she hunt too?"

Iolaus shot him a withering glance, not answering. He wanted to throw the fish at Hercules, but decided against it, not wanting to start the fish rain hallucination again. This was unpleasant, but definitely easier to deal with than bugs and fish.

"Here you go, handsome," he declared as he handed a fish to Herc. He ripped into his with a ferocity that startled even Hercules. He swallowed a large mouthful of fish to go with the onions. He turned to the big man, raising his eyebrows suggestively and shooting him a "come hither" look. "This better work," he thought.

"Oh honey, you're hungry!" Hercules sounded surprised. "Maybe you should catch some more fish.or maybe we could find out what else you're good at." He left the last dangling. He reached out for Iolaus, grabbing him, pulling close, leaned down for another embrace.

Iolaus let him have it. "Oh Hercules!" he moaned out with a grin, breathing heavily into his friends hovering mouth and nose.

Herc's eyebrow's raised, his nose wrinkled and he carefully let go of Iolaus. "Iola," he said tactfully as he backed away. "Maybe we should just eat for now."

"I think we should get to your Mom's house, she cooks better than me," Iolaus retorted. "And the sooner the better, perhaps she could give me lessons."

Hercules shrugged. "Okay but you don't know what you're missing. But I guess I'll have to show you later."

"No, I don't but I've got a great imagination and I think I want to think about getting to Alcmene's pretty quick."

"Hercules shook his head. "That's my girl, always thinking. The sooner we get to Mom's the sooner we can get married."

"Uh, yeah Herc, great. Let's go."

Iolaus tossed his half eaten fish to the side, his appetite suddenly gone, and started back to the road, Hercules tagging behind, gnawing on the fish.

"Say, this is good. How'd you cook it?'

Iolaus just rolled his eyes and made tracks to town.

Hercules insisted on stopping at the Inn for supper, even though Iolaus protested mightily that they were fairly close to Alcmene's, and that they should just keep moving. Hercules insisted that since he was again hungry and couldn't possibly wait an hour, that this was a necessity. Iolaus worried that he wouldn't be able to control Hercules, but he wasn't in mood to do what it might take to distract him from this particular need.

They sat a table in a corner, away from the crowd at Iolaus' insistence. . .more romantic in Hercules' eyes, more secluded in Iolaus'. Hercules pushed his chair over close to Iolaus, slipping his hand under the table and onto Iolaus' knee. He smiled in satisfaction as he rubbed his rough hand up Iolaus' leg, across his thigh and rested it heavily on his codpiece.

"A little candlelight, a quiet corner, how could it get better?" he asked.

Iolaus was torn. He had his own ideas, but thought it best not to bring that up right now. He fought to keep his emotions under control, wriggling beneath the weight of Hercules' hand.

Hercules waved to the waiter with his unoccupied hand as Iolaus cringed.

"My bride and I will have the stew," he declared as he threw an arm around Iolaus' shoulders. He placed a tender kiss on the top of the blond curls. Iolaus dropped his face into his hands to hide his embarrassment. "Shy," Hercules declared with a knowing smile at the stunned waiter.

Iolaus spent the time waiting for the stew, fending off Hercules's advances and trying to make things look as normal as possible. It wasn't as if they could go any place without being recognized, especially this close to home. And it wasn't as if he could stand up and walk away with his cod piece full to bursting. And it wasn't as if being peppered with kisses by his best friendwas an everyday occurrence. Iolaus was miserable.

Iolaus gulped down his stew while it was still so hot that it actually burned his mouth.

"Let's go," he declared, face still down in embarrassment and horror, hoping that there was no one there that he'd have to explain things to later. Hercules fondled his cheeks and chin, pulling him into a deep kiss before answering.

"Iola, slow down," Herc answered barely covering his annoyance. "It's not ladylike to eat like that. . . too fast. You need to slow down."

"Well maybe your mom can teach me," Iolaus mumbled, pushing his chair back. "I can't wait to meet her. Let's get going."

Hercules looked up and clicked his tongue. He reached for Iolaus' ass but Iolaus danced away, turning to face the big man.

Iolaus gave him THAT smile, the one so full of promise, the one that drew women to him in droves. Herc looked up appreciatively.

"You win, "he declared as he stood suddenly. "Let's go." He leaned over and before Iolaus could stop him was pressing his lips against Iolaus', hard and passionately in front of a whole roomful of people.

Iolaus was at a loss what to do. If he pushed Herc away he risked angering him, something he shouldn't do in a crowded place. But if he returned the kiss, which gods knew he would love to do, neither he nor Herc would ever live it down. He'd probably never live it down anyway, he realized. He turned his cheek instead, letting Herc's kiss slip over there, The waiter came quickly as Iolaus stood to leave. The man extended his hand for payment as Hercules slowly and deliberately, slipped an arm possessively around Iolaus' waist.

"Your turn to pay," Iolaus declared, moving away from Herc. "Two dinars, you have the money, right?"

Hercules fumbled into his coin bag, extracting the dinars while Iolaus extracted himself from Herc.

"Come on," Iolaus urged, grabbing Herc's upper arm. "Let's get to Alcmene's." He practically pulled Hercules out the door of the Inn and back to the road. "Only a few miles now," he thought. His cock was hard and his heart pounded. He didn't know how much more he could take. He wanted Herc so badly.

Hercules felt like the tail on a kite as Iolaus tugged and hauled his bigger frame. "Why is my bride rushing so?" he wondered. "Must be eager for the wedding." Hercules smiled to himself at the thought. Iola, his bride, so strong, so golden." he sighed and let Iola pull him along

Hercules knocked softly on the door to his mother's home, his arm tightly around Iolaus's shoulders. "Only moments," he whispered as he pulled an unresisting Iolaus into a fervent embrace as the door opened. He pressed his lips tightly to Iolaus', twining his fingers into the smaller man's hair and pressing his entire body against Iolaus's smaller frame. Iolaus, knowing that this was his last chance for fulfillment, slipped his arms around Hercules' muscular torso and pressed tightly against him in response. He cherished the feel of his friend against him, the scent of his sweat and wished that the kiss was truly meant for him, not some imaginary female. He decided to make the most of it, leaning into Hercules and feeling all the emotion, the strength and desire and imagining that it was truly for him.

The door opened.

"Hercules!" his mother declared as she stood frozen and stunned at the sight that greeted her. She could see Iolaus' mixed desire and misery, Herc's infatuation so clearly she couldn't help but wonder at the sight.

"Mother," Hercules declared proudly as he broke off his kiss. "I want you to meet Iola, my bride to be."

Iolaus stared miserably at Alcmene. "Mushrooms," he said. "He ate some bad mushrooms." Hercules gripped him tightly around the waist.

Alcmene stood silently assessing the situation, her jaw pulling up tightly as she stared at her son, at his expression of happiness. She turned to Iolaus. "What kind? " She asked.

"Don't know," he answered flatly, trying but not succeeding in hiding his true feelings. "Give him anything you can. I don't know how much more I can take of this."

She nodded, turning to Hercules she said. "Sit down son, I'll make you and your bride to be some tea, and we can talk about the arrangements."

Hercules pulled Iolaus over to a couch as Alcmene went to the cupboard to check her herb supply for an antidote.

"I knew she'd like you, Iola," he whispered in Iolaus' ear, nipping it slightly. "She has excellent taste." He slipped his harm around Iolaus' shoulder and pulled him tight.

Iolaus tried to slide away, to no avail.

"You are so coy!" Hercules teased as his mother brought the "tea" into the room.

"Chamomile for me," she said, "peppermint for the bride, and a special tea with oyster in it for the groom," she declared placing the antidote in front of Herc. Lifting her cup carefully, she held it out as if to propose a toast. "To more happiness with every swallow," she declared.



"I can't believe I did that!" Hercules mumbled chagrinned. "I usually know better than to eat mushrooms that I haven't personally examined, but Salmoneus is so darned convincing!"

"Well you certainly had a death grip on Iolaus when you came through my door," Alcmene exclaimed. "I must say, I didn't know you could kiss that good."

"Yeah, well I don't want to find out again," Iolaus retorted, punching Hercules. "Next time you eat out, tell the chef to hold the mushrooms please." Inside he ached, desiring Hercules' touch, remembering the fervent kisses and wishing that they were in fact truly meant for him.

"Iolaus," Hercules whispered, as he faced his friend. "I'm so sorry.

"Not as sorry as me my friend," Iolaus whispered as he turned away.


THE END