You Hold My Soul

by Arianna

Warning: This story draws upon the Ancient Celtic concept of Anam Cara, the "soul
friend". Anam Cara is a relationship so transcendental and profound it strips away all
traditions or concepts of morality, exists in another spiritual plane, a different physical
reality, and represents a fundamental unity of being which is to be cherished and
respected above all other relationships. This story acknowledges that the friendship
between Hercules and Iolaus has the capacity to move fully into this other dimension of
being, a realm of essential unity, which is grounded and transformed by love.

Description: This story carries on from the Highway to Hades HTLJ series
episode... Hercules gives up his body for twenty-four hours without considering the
potential risks for Iolaus...or their friendship.

*****

Hercules felt a kind of rush as Timeron literally grabbed his body on his way to Daphne.
Once his spirit caught it's balance, Herc smiled gently to himself as he eased himself
away from the doorway of Daphne's cottage. He didn't blame Timeron one bit for being
eager and in a hurry. If Herc had been told he had had only twenty four hours with
Deianaera, he would have been just as eager...and he had not waited all his life to marry
the woman he had loved, as had Timeron. A broader grin on his face, Herc pushed away
from the cottage and 'walked' toward the river just past the edge of town to meet up with
Iolaus, as they had planned. Herc was really pleased that Hades had agreed to the
exchange as a reward for getting Sisyphus to the Other Side...twenty four hours for
Daphne and Timeron. Not much time in the larger scheme of things...but more than they
had had.

****

Iolaus was sitting crosslegged and crossarmed by a flickering fire near the river, just at the
edge of the forest. He was studying a small bush intently...the bush was wafting it's
branches gently in the light evening breeze. In frustration, Iolaus crossed his eyes and
then stretched his arms above his head. This was not going to work. How was he
supposed to know whether it was Hercules or the wind moving the stupid bush?

Iolaus sighed, part in exasperation, part in resignation. Throwing a stick onto the fire, he
reflected that he was glad that Hercules was doing this for Timeron...Iolaus would have
done it himself given the chance. It was just that the thought of Hercules as a wraithe, a
ghost, gave Iolaus the creeps. Not that there was anything wrong with being a spirit.
Having died a time or two, (or three, or was it four?) anyway, having been a spirit
himself, Iolaus knew there was nothing really wrong with being dead...he just didn't want
to ever think of Herc as being dead...and having Herc separated from his body
was just a little too close to...well, Iolaus wasn't going to go there. Hercules was not
dead...he was just doing a favour for a friend. The fact that he was a spirit, invisible...that
he couldn't be heard or touched...well, that was just incidental...and it was for only
twenty-four hours...the time would go so fast, he'd hardly notice that he couldn't see,
hear, or touch Herc...twenty-four hours...not long at all, really. Sighing, Iolaus picked up
another stick ...he sure hoped both Hades and Timeron kept their word about giving Herc
his body back!

Throwing the stick onto the fire, Iolaus looked over at the bush, which was still waving
it's branches. "Herc?" Iolaus queried, "Is that you?" Iolaus was pretty sure that
Hercules' spirit must have joined him by now. The idea was that they would wait here by
the river. It would give Iolaus a chance to do some fishing and Timeron knew he was to
bring Herc's body back to the campsite tomorrow evening, to make the exchange. Iolaus
didn't like to ignore his best friend, assuming that he was there, but he felt like an idiot
talking to a bush. If any of the villagers noticed, they would likely lock him up as a
danger to society and throw away the key!

Iolaus listened to the wind whispering softly through the trees, and to the river as it
flowed over the stones in it's bed. He shivered...even though it wasn't cold. If anything,
the warmth of the day still lingered in the air. Shivering again, Iolaus listened to the
silence and wondered if someone was walking over his grave.

*****

Hercules was at the campsite, but he wasn't sitting beside the bush. He was
sitting on a log on the other side of the fire from Iolaus. "Yes, I'm here, Iolaus," he
responded to his buddy's question, before ruefully remembering that Iolaus could not hear
him. It felt awkward to be staring at Iolaus, knowing that Iolaus couldn't even tell he was
there. It felt like spying....and, seeing Iolaus shiver, Herc wondered if the Hunter could
somehow feel his gaze without knowing what was making him uncomfortable. Great,
just great...Herc was haunting his best friend...giving him the creeps. This could be a
very long twenty-four hours!

*****

Deciding that Herc was 'there'...somewhere...nearby....Iolaus determined to act normally.
Mustering up a grin, gazing into the fire, he began, "Well, Herc, I know you must be
here...sure wish there was some way of knowing for sure...anyway, what I wanted to say
was, I think you're doing a great thing for Timeron and Daphne." Iolaus frowned as he
felt the hairs on the back of his neck go up. He listened to the soft sounds of the
night...there was something out there. Something more than a friend he couldn't see.
Hercules wouldn't make him feel as if trouble was lurking near by...no way. "Do you feel
it, Herc?" he muttered as he shifted his eyes from the fire. He needed to get his night
vision back. "Can you see what it is? or who?"

*****

Hercules did feel it...getting to his feet, Herc began moving through the forest to see who
was trying to sneak up on Iolaus. He hadn't gone far when he saw them...men who, a
short time ago, had been guards at the palace. That was before the Queen had sacked
them for having fought her assumption of the throne. Now, they were just brigands,
looking for unwary travellers and perhaps a little revenge on one of the guys who had
caused them such trouble. The only guy currently available was Iolaus. Turning, Herc
hastened back to the clearing. How could he warn Iolaus...there were at least six of them
hiding in the trees. Damn, this was no time to be incorporeal...damn, damn, DAMN!

*****

Watching the trees from the corner of this eye, Iolaus thought he caught a vague
shimmering. Was that Herc? Straining, Iolaus was almost sure he could make out the
barest hint of his friend. What was it Timeron had said? Hades had warned him that
when he was anxious, worried or scared, he could become visible. Okay, that did it.
Herc was anxious, worried or scared...that definitely meant trouble was near by.
Unobtrusively, Iolaus loosened the knife in his boot and, acting as if he was stretching to
lay down beside the fire, he reached for his sword...and, turning his 'reaching stretch'
move to a roll, he gathered up his sword as he moved out of the firelight toward the trees.

Moving like a ghost himself, Iolaus faded into the forest. Standing in the shadows, he
listened...and heard the telltale whispers of boots moving through leaves on the ground,
the occasional snap of a twig. Smiling to himself, Iolaus glided to the side, out of their
path, gradually manoeuvring himself behind them. It didn't take him long to figure out
who was stalking him...he grinned...at least, they thought they were stalking him.
He heard whispered consternation when they realized he was no longer beside the
fire...by then, he had already snuck up on the back three, tapped them, one at a time, none
too gently on the backs of their heads with the pommel of his sword and, catching them,
laid them silently on the dark forest floor.

"Where is he, where'd he go?" whispered one plaintive, slightly nervous voice. Iolaus
shook his head. This guy was way too timid to be a good assassin. Silently, Iolaus
slipped an arm around the man's throat, blocking his air, cutting off his voice. "I'm right
here," he whispered very softly in the man's ear. The man trembled and made a mewling
sound in his throat just before Iolaus clipped him behind one ear. This was almost too
easy. These guys had been guards at the palace...they should have been harder to take.
Although, maybe it explained why he and Herc had made such short work of them a
couple of days ago. Guards could get cocky...being armed when others' weren't gave a
distinct advantage...sometimes they forgot that they weren't the only ones who knew how
to fight. Iolaus shrugged before he moved out after another one.

The last two gradually became aware they had lost track of their companions...aware they
were alone in the silent forest...alone with someone who had taken out four of them
without a sound. This was not turning out the way they'd expected...they had thought the
little guy would be easier to take. Wrong. One turned to the other and whispered, "I
don't care what rewards Ares promised...I'm out of here!" Iolaus froze when he heard the
name of the God of War. What did Ares have to do with this? He watched the remaining
two erstwhile assassins drift away in the night before going back and tying up the other
four with long vines he pulled from the trees.

*****

"ARES!" Herc growled, having also heard the whispered comment. "What are you up
to? ARES!"

"You called," drawled Ares as he flashed into view... "Gosh, bro, looks like you're
missing something...I know! It's your body!" Ares smirked as he crossed his arms and
leaned back against a tree. "I wonder...does Dad's prohibition against killing you include
your body as well as your soul?"

Herc narrowed his eyes...what was Ares up to?

"What? No quick retort? No witty comebacks?" Ares put a hand against his cheek and
widened his eyes, "Oh, I remember...it's your little buddy who always comes up with the
chatty repartee!"

"Actually," Herc replied coldly, "I think the "no kill" rule continues to apply to my
body...and, unfortunately, for you, neither Zeus nor Hades would be too pleased if you
messed with our arrangements for Timeron and Daphne."

Grimacing, Ares nodded, "Yeah, you're probably right...you're all such romantics...."
Ares shook his head in disgust at the idea that two gods and a demigod could all be
concerned with the wedding night, or lack thereof, of an insignificant mortal. Glancing
over at Iolaus, who had come back to the fire to kick it out before he escorted his mob of
befuddled prisoners to the palace for safekeeping, Ares pursed his lips and cocked an
eyebrow. "He is good, isn't he..." he said, as a statement, not a question.

Ares continued to watch Iolaus, who had no idea that either Hercules or Ares were
currently focused on him....he just felt the itch in the middle of his back that warned him
that something dangerous was still in the neighbourhood. Pushing his prisoners in front
of him, Iolaus set out toward the palace.

"What do you want, Ares...why did you send those men after Iolaus?"

"Oh, come on, Hercules...why do you think I sent them?" Staring coldly at Herc, Ares
let the hatred he felt for his half brother show. "What better chance will I ever have to
...well, to have fun at your expense. I can do whatever I want to your little buddy, and
there isn't anything you can do to stop me." A cruel smile curled around Ares' lips, "I
plan to have a very good time."

Furious, Herc reached out to grab Ares...and his hand passed right through the god. Ares
smirked, " See what I mean...there's nothing you can do."

"Maybe not tonight...but if you hurt Iolaus, I'll..."

"Yeah, I know, 'you'll make me pay' yadda, yadda...spare me the details, Hercules. We
both know that you can't really hurt me...certainly, not the way I can hurt him. See you
around, bro..." His voice somewhere between a purr and snarl, fire glinting from his
eyes, Ares gave Hercules a long look, a look that promised nothing good, before he
disappeared.

Could a spirit feel cold? Could it feel sick with dread and helplessness? Herc's spirit
seemed to tremble in the faint light of the moon as he tightened his jaw, clenched his
fists, and stared up into the night. Would it do any good to ask other gods for help? A
bitter expression crossed his face as he lowered his head and closed his eyes...no,
probably not. He was on his own....was there anything he could do? Besides watch
whatever Ares had planned? 'Gods, Iolaus,' he thought, 'I don't know how to help
you...'

*****

After handing his prisoners over to the guards at the gate of the city, and receiving their
promise that the miscreants would be locked in the dungeons, Iolaus headed back to the
campsite. Tossing his sword on the ground, Iolaus gathered up some kindling, and knelt
again at the stones that had contained the earlier fire to chip a spark from his pieces of
flint. As the small flames caught, he put the flint back into his sack, then eased himself
down beside the fire, feeding it with more wood. Once he was satisfied with it, Iolaus
raised his head and scanned the area around him. His gaze settling on the log not far
away, he decided that was the most likely place for Hercules to be perched, watching him,
waiting until he got his body back.

"So," began Iolaus, disconcerting Hercules by looking straight at him, "what's Ares up
to? Let me guess...he wants to start a new 'reality based' survivor game. Big bad god
beats up on hapless mortal while the ghost of his demigod best friend watches helplessly
on the sidelines ...am I right?" Iolaus listened to the silence, not really expecting an
answer. "I'll bet I'm not far wrong," he muttered to himself, "it would be in keeping with
his sadistic personality."

Gods, Iolaus thought...this is bad. Herc will go crazy if Ares...well, if he can't stop
whatever Ares has planned. Unfortunately, having had more experience than he wanted
with Ares' games in the past, Iolaus really couldn't think of anything that would make
things easier for Hercules...come to that, he couldn't think of anything that would make
things easier for himself, either. Damn, he hated the waiting...and he hated not being able
to at least see Hercules. 'The hell with it,' Iolaus thought as he pulled a blanket out of his
bag, shook it out over his body, pulling it over his shoulders as he curled toward the fire.
Irritated with everything in general, Iolaus didn't even bother to wish the spectre of his
friend good night. Closing his eyes, Iolaus forced his breathing to slow. Might as well
sleep while he could.

*****

After the first shock of feeling Iolaus' eyes look right into his, Herc realized that Iolaus
couldn't really see him...it was just his hunter's intuition at work, picking the most likely
place for Herc to be. Listening to his friend, he wished he could answer...but he knew
Iolaus did not need to hear his confirmation to work out the likely scenario for himself.
Ares was just too predictable. Herc shook his head in disgust. If Ares was that
predictable, Hercules should have thought of this before he'd so willingly suggested
giving up his body for twenty-four hours. Typical, he'd thought of everyone but Iolaus.
Why did he so consistently fail to take into account the consequences of his actions for
his friend? Why did he take always Iolaus so much for granted?

"Stupid questions," Hercules chided himself. "The answers are because Iolaus can take
care of himself, because Iolaus always more than keeps up, because Iolaus acts so much
like he's immortal that it's easy to forget that he's not, because, because...." Grinning
wryly to himself, Herc thought, 'And there's the proof...he knows Ares is coming after
him and what does he do? He goes to sleep as if nothing in the world was of any
concern....how does he do that?' Herc shook his head as he leaned forward,
elbows on his knees. Well, he guessed he had first watch...for all the good he could do.

Herc shivered as he felt a breath of cold touch his back. Straightening, he looked behind
him and saw Thanatos, the chief of Hades' escort service. Thanatos only came personally
for heroes, for great warriors....his presence was not a good omen.

"What are you doing here?" growled Hercules, his voice low in his throat.

"Easy, Hercules, I'm not here for Iolaus...at least, not yet."

Herc caught the qualifier. "What do you mean, 'not yet'?"

Thanatos was studying the recumbant form of Iolaus who was gently snoring by the fire.
Now, this was either a very brave man...or a very foolish one...and Thanatos knew Iolaus
was no fool. Looking back at Hercules, he explained, "Hades wanted to make sure you
knew that Ares will be a problem until you get your body back...and, with a war on, Ares
is more unpredictable...more volatile...than usual."

Making a face, Herc looked away....this wasn't exactly late breaking news. "Will Hades
intervene?"

"No...protecting Iolaus was not part of the deal." Unsurprised, Herc just shook his head,
partly in sorrow, partly in disgust. Iolaus was on his own...as usual.

"Well, it was nice of you to come personally to let me know this, Thanatos." Hercules
could hardly keep the sarcasm out of his voice...but, regardless of what was happening, it
never paid to irritate Thanatos....he wasn't called 'Death' for nothing. A person could
only continue to breathe until Death arrived to say it was time to go.

Instead of leaving, Thanatos took a seat beside Herc on the log. "Hades and I would
prefer not to have Iolaus join us again on the Other Side...at least not now." Surprised,
Hercules turned to gaze at the incarnation of death. What was this about?

Thanatos continued, as if he could read Herc's thoughts...and maybe he could, at that.
"Ares is in a particularly difficult mood...he always gets more aggressive when he's in the
midst of a war...must be the blood that gets him worked up. Iolaus could be in real
trouble this time. Hercules, you were down there...you saw how busy we are, soldiers
everywhere waiting to be processed, more waiting for me to pick them up. It would be
such a pointless waste of time for me to come for Iolaus, and for Hades to register him in,
when we both know you would just come storming in, Timeron in tow, demanding that
we give Iolaus back. Whether we give him back or not, you'll cause a major fuss.
Persephone will be sympathetic to the two of you...she's always had a soft spot for you,
since you worked the deal with Demeter, and for some odd reason, she also likes your
little sidekick. It's just all more aggravation than Hades or I need right now...you
<i>never </i>appreciate how busy we really are."

Gods, Thanatos was beginning to whine as much as Hades did about all their
administration hassles...as if anyone cared about their problems!

"I'm sorry we're so much trouble, Thanatos! I know...maybe you and Hades could put a
little protection around Iolaus...then you wouldn't have to worry about maybe going
through all that 'aggravation' sometime in the next day or so!" This time, Herc hadn't
bothered to keep the exasperation out of his voice...gods, their self centred, single minded
focus on their own priorities...irritated him no end. Now he was supposed to sympathize
with them over the fuss he was likely to make if anything happened to Iolaus? Well, if
anything did happen, they could count on him making a fuss...if they didn't like it, they
could lump it.

Thanatos turned to stare calmly at Hercules... "You know, Hercules, I don't have any
choice. When it's Iolaus' time...it's my job to come for him." Thanatos sighed, "It's not
an easy job, you know...I never get time off...I'm always on call...." Thanatos morosely
stared at Iolaus, the picture of dejection. Hercules turned to face him, finally ready to tell
Thanatos what he could do with his problems about never having had a holiday from
being Death...until he really looked at Thanatos, saw the deep lines of exhaustion in his
face and took in the way his body slumped, as if he could barely sit up straight.

"Really?" Hercules mused, buying time while he thought through the possibilities, the
options. "Never had a holiday, hmmm. That's too bad. But, I guess I can understand
why Hades can never let you go. What would happen if you weren't around to gather the
souls for him?"

Thanatos smiled without humour. "Hades would just send Celesta...you know, she
gathers all the souls I don't pick up personally....I suppose, theoretically, someone else
could take my place...gather the souls of warriors and heroes...but it's never been
done....You know Hades...he likes his routine.

Hercules narrowed his eyes as he again ran over the possibilities in his mind. He
hesitated a moment, looking toward Iolaus, but Herc knew there was really nothing he
could do here. Making up his mind, he turned and placed a hand on Thanatos' shoulder.
"You know, Thanatos, you really do look tired...let's take a walk while we consider how
we can get you some time off....maybe I could have a word with Hades on your behalf."
Thanatos flicked his eyes toward Herc, then silently rose to walk with the hero into the
forest.

*****

Hercules had been surprised at how easy it had been to convince Thanatos to let Hercules
take his place for as long as Herc was stuck being a spirit. It wasn't like Herc had
anything else to do with his time. Hercules sighed...Thanatos must have been more
exhausted than he had realized. Oh well, he supposed that playing Death with no respite
since the dawn of time was enough to wear out even Death himself. The one caveat
Thanatos had imposed was that Hercules was not to let Hades know a switch had been
made....at least not until Thanatos was long gone, a condition that Hercules was only too
happy to agree to honour.

Before taking off, Thanatos gave him a few quick lessons...how to 'hear' the directions of
the clerks in Hades temple as they gave the location of the next soul to be gathered, how
to convey the soul to the Other Side, how to move from place to place just by thinking
about being there...sounded simple enough. The one trick would be to get the souls to the
River Styx but avoid being seen by Charon in the process...Charon would undoubtedly
bring the switch to Hades' attention. Hercules had to avoid this...if Hades found out he
was messing around...worse, if he figured out why...he'd stop the charade. Ah well, one
step at a time...or was that one soul at a time?

It was only moments after Thanatos had faded away, that Herc heard the whispers of the
clerks in his mind. Here goes, he thought, one soul coming up!

Herc's flippancy lasted until he appeared at the coordinates. Battle was raging around
him. Smoke, from the fires that lit the night battle with macabre images, left an acrid
haze across the field, semiobscuring the combatants who slogged through dirt made
muddy by blood. The clash of arms, the screams of defiance, and of pain, filled the air,
confusion reigned. Herc briefly closed his eyes against the slaughter going on around
him, helpless to intervene. He'd always hated war, hated the senseless brutality, the
mindless bloodlust of battle...hated the waste of lives.

He became conscious of a man moaning softly at his feet. Kneeling, he touched the youth
gently on the shoulder...he was just a kid, no more than twenty. The youth's face was
twisted with pain, his body curled around the spear that had run him through. Looking
away briefly, Herc blinked back tears of helplessness and frustration. When he'd
received the coordinates, he had also received the story of this youth, the reason that he
was being sent, rather than Celesta. The boy's name was Antheon, and he was a
hero...he'd been covering his partner's back and had taken the spear in his partner's
place....the young warrior's comrade was kneeling by his side, blinded by tears, begging
him to be strong, to live. Antheon was gasping, choking on his own blood, his eyes
unfocused as he struggled against the pain and the terror of dying. Hercules gripped the
young man's shoulder more tightly, drawing his attention. The boy's eyes widened as he
took in the spectre before him.

"It's alright, Antheon, " Hercules murmured, "don't be afraid..." Herc gulped and
blinked back his own tears. All his life, he had fought death, denied it's hold...how could
he be Death? How could he stop this boy's breath? Herc's attention was caught
by the heartwrenching groan of the boy who was gripped in a soul destroying torment of
agony. Herc couldn't let this go on...he had to help the youth in the only way he
could...he had to end the agony. "Shhh," he said gently, as if comforting a child, "don't
fight it anymore, Antheon....let go...it's alright...I promise the pain will end...just let go."

Watching, he saw the boy's eyes blaze once with understanding, then dim as he sobbed
out his last breath. Herc stood to steady the spirit that gently lifted from the body.
Antheon's spirit gazed sadly for a moment down at his friend, who had pulled the lifeless
body into his arms, sobbing his grief, unaware of the battle raging around him.

"Goodbye, Thaddeus... be safe," Antheon whispered, before turning to regard Hercules.
"I always wondered what Death would look like," he said, before his eyes blazed.
"Dammit, I don't want to be dead! It's too soon...you have to let me go back!"

Herc couldn't meet the boy's eyes, "I'm sorry," he murmured, "I wish I could...but you
were too badly injured. There was nothing anyone could do..."

The boy stared at the spectre of death, disconcerted that Death seemed almost as upset as
he was. Sighing, Antheon's shoulders slumped. "What happens now?"

Herc placed a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder, "Now we go to the Other Side.
Charon will meet you by the landing on the River Styx and will take you over." Herc
dragged an encouraging smile from somewhere and thought about the entrance to Hades'
realm...and with that they were there. As soon as he arrived, he 'heard' instructions for
his next pickup. Herc directed Antheon toward the Styx, then, taking a deep breath, he
flashed to his next charge.

It was back to the same battle, to the same sad place. Thaddeus, grief stricken and blind
to his own safety, had been an easy target. Because he had been more concerned with the
loss of his friend than with the safety of his own life, Thaddeus was also granted hero
status. Staring down at the body curled over that of his friend, an arrow deep in his back,
Herc felt shattered by the pathos, the tragedy of it all. He'd lost too many friends this
way...how did Thanatos stand it? No wonder he had looked so exhausted, so wasted.
The noise, the smoke, the flickering shadows cast by the fires, the screams....Hercules
hung his head, tears blinding his eyes as he uttered a low moan of despair. How could he
do this, over and over, through the long hours ahead?

"Hercules! What are you doing here? Where's Thanatos?" Startled, Herc looked up into
the clear, calm eyes of Celesta, her ethereal robes and long hair drifting softly in the
wind...she was, as always, hauntingly beautiful. Of course, she was here too, gathering
the souls of ordinary soldiers, souls of men who had died fighting for their lives, lost in
fury or terror, no longer caring what they fought for.

"Celesta! I...um...I'm helping Thanatos out...there was just so much to do...." he stumbled
through an explanation that even to his ears sounded lame.

Celesta frowned. "Hercules, that can't be true...I'm busier than Thanatos...this battle has
been endless. No one has been sent to help me...besides, you're not even dead...why
would Hades involve you in this?"

Herc desperately tried to think up some story that would make sense...and found he
couldn't come up with anything other than the truth...or, at least part of it. "You're right,
Celesta, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you. Hades and I are helping out someone else
who needed to borrow my body. Since I was confined to spirit form for a day anyway, I
offered to give Thanatos a break...he really looked exhausted."

Celesta narrowed her eyes as she weighed up this explanation. "Does Hades know?"

"Um, no...we decided not to bother him about the details...."

"Hmmmm," she pondered until her attention was caught by the dying man at their feet.
"Well, I guess Thanatos needed the break....there's something particularly tragic about a
hero's death...it seems not right, unfair somehow...as if they deserve better." Herc,
remembering how it had felt that last time he'd held Iolaus' battered and lifeless body in
his arms, could understand only too well. "Well, you'd better get on with it and grant this
poor boy relief...no need to keep letting him suffer like this," she murmured before she
gave Herc a last, long look, then she turned away to attend to her own duties.

Herc knelt beside the boy. "Thaddeus," he whispered, "I'm here to take you to Antheon.
He's waiting for you..." The youth let out his last breath in a soft, almost grateful sigh
and his spirit rose quickly from his body. "Antheon? You'll take me to him? He's
alright?"

Herc smiled sadly. 'Alright' is a relative term, he thought. "Yes, Thaddeus, Antheon's
fine...on his way to the Elysian Fields...but, given the backup at the entrance, I'm sure
you'll be able to catch up with him and you'll both be able to go on together."

Thaddeus gave Hercules a brilliant smile. "Well, let's go then!" he said eagerly. It would
be alright, he and Antheon would be together. Herc took the boy's arm and, with a
thought, took them to Hades' realm. Herc was pointing out the path to the river when he
received his next call. Shaking his head, stealing himself for the next tragedy, he headed
back, back to the same battle, to another man who had selflessly and bravely offered his
own life in place of another's.

The night seemed endless, summons after summons took Herc to the battle, until, just as
dawn broke over the hills in the east, the fighting dwindled. Both sides were exhausted
and pulled back, to rest and regroup. At the time, Hercules hadn't realized that the
temporary cessation of hostilities had occurred because Ares' attention was turning
elsewhere, toward a sleeping blond warrior beside a dying fire.

*****

Just after dawn, Ares flashed into the campsite, with a flourish. "I'm baacckkkkk!"
If he expected a reaction, he was disappointed. Iolaus slept peacefully by the
embers of his fire and Hercules was nowhere to be seen. These two were no fun at all.

The little runt was supposed to have been up worrying all night about what Ares had in
store for him. He should have been sitting here all drawn and exhausted...pitiful like
mortals were supposed to be. Not sleeping peacefully as if he didn't have a care in the
world. It was disrespectful! Striding over to Iolaus, Ares gave him a vicious kick.
"WAKE UP!" he bellowed. Giving Iolaus another kick for good measure, Ares
crossed his arms and looked around with irritation. And where had his goody two sandals
half mortal brother gone? Why wasn't he here, agonizing about not being able to help his
little buddy. Gods, these two were irritating.

Iolaus had been startled into wakefulness with the first kick and he had not been able to
restrain a groan as he woke. 'What the...owww....what in Hades was that?' he wondered,
until he heard the bellow. 'Ares....great...just great...and so it starts.' Iolaus didn't plan to
give Ares the satisfaction of hearing him groan a second time. Besides, it bothered Herc
no end when he groaned...sighing, he thought this might be a very long day. Ready for
the second kick, Iolaus rolled with it, grabbing his sword as he rolled to his feet, crouched
in a fighting stance.

Ares tapped his toe impatiently, watching Iolaus with ill concealed disdain. "What? This
is supposed to impress me? Iolaus, Iolaus...you keep forgetting. You're a mortal, I'm a
god...you can't hurt me, but I can do this!" A bolt of lightning lashed out from
Ares' outflung hand, hitting Iolaus in the centre of his chest, flinging him backwards.
Crashing into a tree, Iolaus slumped to the ground, stunned by the force of the bolt.

Ares shook his head, 'You'd think the guy would learn.' he thought. Ambling over to
Iolaus, he waited for the hunter's eyes to focus. As Iolaus rolled to his knees, Ares
reached down and grabbed him by the back of the neck, lifting him effortlessly into the
air. Iolaus lashed out with his feet, but Ares just shook him. "Stop that or I'll break your
neck right now," Ares growled.

'O-kay,' Iolaus thought... 'Ares is in a really bad mood'...usually a little resistance
amused the God of War. "What do you want, Ares?" Iolaus demanded, with as much
dignity as being held in the air by the scruff of his neck would allow.

"What do you want Ares?" Ares mimicked in a high, sarcastic voice. "What do I
usually want, moron?" Yup, really, really bad mood.

Deciding to play along, Iolaus replied, "Well, usually, you want to torture Hercules by
beating me silly and then killing me."

Ares gave Iolaus an evil grin. "There, I knew you were smarter than you look!" Giving
Iolaus another shake, Ares snapped his fingers and they both disappeared.

*****

Ares and Iolaus reappeared in the dungeon of some moldy old temple. It was dim, dank
and damp...Iolaus shivered...he really hated places like this. Dropping Iolaus to the floor,
Ares turned to motion a couple of his minions through the open cell door. He nodded at
Iolaus, then pointed up at two manacles hanging from a hook in the ceiling. Ares stood
back; crossing his arms, he prepared to be entertained.

Iolaus had rolled to his feet as soon as he had hit the floor and backed into a corner. He
knew it was probably hopeless, but he'd be damned if he'd surrender without a fight. He
sized up his gargantuan opponents...why did these guys always have to come in
supersized pairs? Taking a breath, he launched himself at one, feet first, and landed a
double kick in the centre of the brute's chest. It was like hitting a granite wall...the goon
didn't move. Iolaus felt the force of the connection jar every bone in his body, before he
dropped like a stone to the floor. Dazed, his reflexive roll was slow and the other bully
caught him, pinning his arms back as he hauled Iolaus to his feet. Once Iolaus was
standing, the goon he had kicked backhanded him lazily, almost like he was swatting a
fly...but the force of the blow snapped Iolaus' head sideways and caused stars to dance
before his eyes. A second blow to his abdomen robbed him of breath...he would have
doubled over in agony if the guy behind him wasn't still pulling his arms back. Ares
rolled his eyes and gestured with his head toward the hook and manacles.

The goon holding Iolaus released one arm, letting him sag slightly, before gently clubbing
him to the floor. Stunned and breathless, Iolaus could offer no further resistance as they
first stripped him, then dragged him to his feet. While one held him up, the other grabbed
one arm at a time to lock his wrists into the rusted manacles. When the second manacle
clicked closed, the goon immediately let go, causing Iolaus to drop, his weight pulling
viciously on his wrists and shoulders, adding to his misery. Trying to ignore his naked
helplessness, Iolaus glared at them, then turned to Ares, "Do they have to be
here...they stink worse than that mangy dog of your's." Ares gave Iolaus a backhanded
slap across the face for insolence...soooo predictable.

Iolaus' head snapped back. 'I have to learn to stop baiting him,' Iolaus thought,
'especially when I'm strung up like a chicken.' Shaking his head to clear it, Iolaus slowly
looked back at Ares, his tongue gingerly testing the cut at the corner of his lip. First
blood to Ares. Iolaus sighed. "Don't you think we're getting a little old for this
Ares...it's always the same routine...don't you ever get bored?"

Ares studied Iolaus as if he was a toad, or something else equally beneath contempt. "
Bored? Why? Are you bored?" Ares asked with a snarl as he slammed his
fist into Iolaus' gut, forcing the defenceless man to grunt in pain. Ares smiled in
satisfaction...Iolaus always made him work for it, but eventually he could make anyone
succumb to pain...Iolaus just took a little more effort than did anyone else. Actually, that
was always the best part of tormenting Iolaus...he didn't fade out or give up. "At least
you won't have to worry about getting any older," Ares threatened in a low growl.

Nodding at his minions, they each took the whips that hung from their belts and shook
them out, snapping them in anticipation. Iolaus clenched his jaw, knowing what was
coming. He would not give Ares the satisfaction of hearing him scream. Iolaus
knew that Hercules had to be there, watching, helpless to intervene. This would hurt
Herc more than it could ever hurt him. He just had to endure...he had to.

The goons lashed out, one at a time, alternately flaying Iolaus' back, without pause,
without break. Iolaus arced his body when the first lash landed...but, he did not cry out.
Gods it was hard...there was no time between lashings to brace for the next one, no time
to take a breath, to force back the pain. He would not succumb to the agony. He
clenched his jaw tighter, his lips and teeth locked against the screams that lurked in his
throat. Bad enough that Herc had to be watching this...he did not need to hear Iolaus
scream as well. Lash fell after lash until the skin of his back was hanging in shreds and
he could feel his blood flowing down the backs of his legs to drip from his feet to the
floor. Stubbornly, Iolaus held Ares' eyes, denying him the satisfaction of seeing or
hearing pain, until darkness began to blur his vision... 'Good,' he thought, 'maybe I'll
pass out for a while....'

*****

Herc conveyed the last two charges he had, men who had been mortally wounded just
before the battle ended. Standing outside the entrance to Hades realm, Herc waited for
the next summons and was relieved beyond words at the silence in his head. For a while,
at least, he was free of his duties...he could take a breather from his role as Death. Herc
was glad of the break, not only because the endless suffering was beyond bearing, but
also because it gave him a chance to check on Iolaus. Wishing that there was some way
of conveying to his friend what he was doing and why, Herc thought of the campsite and
was there. Only to find it deserted.

Dismayed, Herc looked at the trampled ground, the sword lying abandoned on the edge of
the forest, the dead fire. Iolaus' pack was there, his blanket...but Iolaus was gone. His
heart sinking, he realized that Ares had already come for his friend...that Iolaus was even
now at Ares' mercy. Herc was casting about in his mind, trying to decide where Ares
would have taken Iolaus, reaching out with his new senses to pick up a trace of his friend.
He knew Iolaus wouldn't be able to see him, and there was little he could do to help...but,
he could at least be there with him. Maybe his appearance would distract Ares, grant
Iolaus some margin of relief. He had just caught a disturbing feeling of acute pain, when
he heard another summons in his head.

"Iolaus," he murmured, torn. He could feel that Iolaus needed him...but, if he didn't
respond to the summons, Hades would get suspicious. If his ploy was blown, he would
be helpless if Iolaus needed him for more than moral support. He had no choice really...
he had to respond to the summons. At least it probably meant that Ares was back egging
on the warriors, pushing men to battle frenzy. If Ares' attention was on the war, Iolaus
would not be enduring his torment. Convincing himself that Iolaus was alright, at least
for a time, Herc set out to pick up the next soul.

*****

Ares curled his lip. Iolaus was right...this was boring. Maybe if the little runt
would scream and plead for mercy, it would be more amusing...or if Hercules was here to
watch...now that would be much more satisfying. Ares wasn't the God of Petty
Disputes or Torture...He was the God of War. He thrilled to the sound of battle, the clash
of sword, the thunder of cannon, the zing of arrows, the smell of blood and the cries and
screams of heroes as they grappled with one another over some prize or principle. Iolaus
was one of the few mortals he even really noticed as an individual...and that was only
because hurting Iolaus was the best and easiest way to torment his despised half brother.
But, Hercules wasn't here to watch....Ares was wasting his time. Looking at the two
torturers, Ares shook his head and motioned with it toward the door. The whipping
stopped and the two filed out, never having made any sound.

Iolaus allowed himself to sag in relief as the torment ended, even if only for a moment.
They'd stopped just before he'd lost consciousness...a fact Iolaus deeply regretted. He
knew that Ares would have some other amusing little diversion in mind. Blinking against
the sweat that dripped from his brow into his eyes, Iolaus tried not to imagine what would
come next...a beating?...that was usually the drill...but, sometimes, for variety, Ares threw
in white hot irons. No, he was not going to imagine what could come next!

As Iolaus tried not to contemplate his immediate future, Ares took a slow walk around
him, studying the damage. It really was amazing, the amount of abuse this wretched
mortal could endure. Ares yawned...been there, done that...Iolaus would just endure until
he passed out...oh, he might eventually scream a little, but it would take such a long time
to make that happen. Suddenly, Ares was furious. How dared this mortal
defy him, not once, but time after time. Ares had had enough of the insolence. It
would end here...now.

"You're right, Iolaus, this really is just too tedious. Besides, I have a war to oversee...I
can't be dawdling here with you." Iolaus stiffened...he didn't like the sound of Ares'
voice...it was tight with fury...Ares was ready to blow. Coming back to face Iolaus, Ares
continued, "It would be different if Hercules was here to watch..." then, catching Iolaus'
slight widening of the eyes in surprise, "ah, you didn't know that did you? You thought
he was here...well, he's not. It would appear that your old friend has abandoned you to
my tender mercies."

Iolaus swallowed. Herc wasn't here...he'd just assumed his buddy was here with
him...knowing he was here was all that had been holding Iolaus together. How could
Herc not be here...where was he? Had something happened to him? He wouldn't have
just not bothered to come. Iolaus was more hurt, and worried, by this news than he had
been by the whippings, but he would not give Ares the satisfaction of knowing how
shocked he was. Herc had to be okay...what could anyone do to a spirit, anyway?
Rationalizing, Iolaus knew Herc couldn't help him...he just hadn't considered that Herc
wouldn't even have bothered to come. Looking away from Ares' smoldering eyes, Iolaus
thought that it was probably better this way. Herc could only be tormented by watching
what he could not stop...he was right not to have come.

Ares sneered as he watched the play of expressions across Iolaus' face...as if the puny
mortal could hide what he felt. Ares knew him too well, knew Iolaus would make
excuses for Hercules...explain away the abandonment. Ares smiled as he grabbed Iolaus
by the jaw and roughly turned his head back, to look into his eyes. "Hercules wasn't even
at the campsite when I came for you this morning...he abandoned you sometime
during the night." No, that couldn't be true....Herc had known that Ares was coming for
Iolaus...he wouldn't just leave him...would he? Iolaus swallowed hard...maybe Ares was
lying, trying another tack to demoralize him...he wouldn't give Ares the satisfaction of
seeing how his barb had wounded. Iolaus felt a great emptiness inside, a coldness that
touched his heart...Herc had just left him...why would he have done that...how
could he have done that?

Ares could see the echo of pain deep in Iolaus' eyes, but he knew it was as much as this
warrior would give him. If Ares had the capacity to care about, or respect, a mortal, this
would be the one....Iolaus had such fire, such passion....but, it was all ruined by Iolaus'
misguided loyalty to his good for nothing, far too honourable for words, half mortal
brother. Ares hated them both.

Ares continued to stare into Iolaus' eyes as his other hand pointed down towards Iolaus'
boot. Ares snapped his fingers, and the knife Iolaus always carried flew into his hand.
Ares moved his hand until the knife was pricking against the skin on the left side of
Iolaus' body. Iolaus couldn't restrain the slight shiver that shook his body at the feel of
the weapon. What was Ares going to do? How badly was he going to hurt him this time?

Holding Iolaus' eyes, Ares growled low in his throat. "Well, Hercules isn't here now...
but we both know he'll come for you eventually...when he doesn't have anything
better to do...he always does, doesn't he? How do you think he'll feel when he finds
out he lost his last chance to say goodbye to his little buddy...when he finds you hanging
here, already long dead...knowing he left you to die alone?"

Iolaus tried to look away...this would have been his last chance to say goodbye, too.
When they'd parted yesterday, and Herc had gone off with Timeron's ghost to Daphne's
cottage, Iolaus hadn't even watched them go...it had never occurred to him that it could
be the last time he would ever see Hercules. Last night, when he'd been talking with
Herc, Iolaus hadn't considered that he might not have another chance to speak to his best
friend. At least Iolaus assumed he had been there at that point, but, maybe, he hadn't
been there at all, maybe he'd never known that Ares was coming for him...no, that wasn't
right...he had been there. Iolaus was sure he'd seen the faintest outline of his friend when
he'd first sensed the outlaws creeping through the woods. Iolaus closed his eyes, fighting
the despair that threatened to engulf him. Ares jerked his jaw, drawing his eyes, his
thoughts, back to the dim, dank cell.

Ares was enjoying this and he wanted to see it all, wanted to be looking deeply into
Iolaus' eyes when he did this. "Don't worry, Iolaus...you won't die alone. I'll be here
with you!"

Slamming the knife to its hilt into Iolaus' side, Ares smiled grimly in satisfaction as he
watched Iolaus' eyes widened in shock at the blow. 'Oh gods,' Iolaus screamed inside his
head, unable to restrain the grunt that escaped his lips as his body arced against the
searing agony that pierced to the centre of his being, like a fiery rod, consuming him. He
could stand this, he would not scream...all he had left was his dignity, his pride. He
would not let Ares take that from him, too.

Ares smiled as he watched the cerulean eyes blaze with the fire of resistance; then, as he
twisted the knife, Ares watched those eyes cloud, and darken, with pain. Now, this was
better, much better. Gods, if only Hercules could be watching this...it would be perfect!
With satisfaction, Ares watched the pupils expand, enjoyed the sensation of seeing the
life slip away, seeing the eyes dim, until finally, Iolaus forced his eyes to close, shutting
out the vision of Ares sneering in satisfaction...shielding his final moments from Ares,
denying the sadistic god the last satisfaction of seeing Iolaus' life extinguished in their
brilliant blue depths.

Disgusted by this last, pitiful stand of resistance against him, Ares let go of Iolaus' jaw,
curling his lip as his victim's head fell forward over his chest. Leaving the knife where it
was, Ares disappeared from the cell. Iolaus hung silently from the manacles, blood now
slowly dripping down his side as well as from his back, dripping into an ever growing
pool on the floor beneath him. Iolaus knew Ares had left, that Ares thought he had died.
But, he hadn't died. Worse, he was still conscious. Still aware of the torment of his
flayed back, of the agony that twisted in his gut and made him want to shriek. Aware that
he was alone...that Herc was not with him...had left him to his fate. Silent tears slipped
from below his lids and slid down his ashen cheeks.

Unable to restrain the sob that finally burst from his throat, Iolaus could no longer hold
back his despair. He was going to die here, alone...why had Herc left him? Why didn't
he come, before it was too late...too late to even say goodbye. Iolaus groaned as he
thought of Herc finding him...because he knew Ares was right. Hercules would come for
him eventually...when whatever had taken him away was finished. Herc would never
forgive himself for this...would never accept that his gift of twenty four hours to Timeron
had cost Iolaus his life. How long could Iolaus hold on? ...how long could he stand this
pain? ...he had to try...had to hold on for Hercules. "Oh, Hercules," Iolaus sighed before
the darkness closed in around him, "I'm so sorry...."

The sun, rising in the sky as morning moved toward noon, blazed through a narrow
aperture high in the wall, drew a golden line along Iolaus' body and glimmered in the
blood below his feet.

*****

The battle had started again more than an hour ago. It was midmorning and Herc was
exhausted. He'd been Death for barely ten hours and he'd already conveyed two hundred
and fifty souls to the Other Side...all of them young, most of them furious to find
themselves dead, not reconciled to the inevitable. All of them heroes, men who had
sacrificed themselves, men whose reward should have been life, not death. Wearily, Herc
pushed his fingers through his hair, dragging it back from his face. Would this battle
never end? Why couldn't the generals understand how hopeless all of this was...how
many good men were dying, lost to any possible future. Herc didn't even know what the
fighting was about...nor did he care. He was sickened by the futility, the waste of it all.

Resigned, he felt the subliminal itch deep in the centre of his head that he had quickly
learned signaled the transmission of a new set of coordinates. Sighing, he prepared
himself to "receive" the instructions and fulfill another painful obligation. When the
message arrived, Herc froze, fear clutching at his gut, breath caught in his throat. The
coordinates were to a cell in Ares' temple...a hero, Iolaus of Thebes, was on the edge of
death.

Iolaus.

Gods, what had Ares done to him? Herc swallowed hard against the bile that rose in his
throat. Even though he'd persuaded Thanatos to leave, as a last ditch safeguard against
Ares being able to kill Iolaus, he hadn't really thought Ares would go so far. Herc wanted
so badly to go to Iolaus...but, not like this, not as Death. If he went now, he could not
help Iolaus and he might, just by being there, by responding to a summons sent by Hades,
be unable to leave without Iolaus' soul. It was too soon. Herc needed his body...he
couldn't help Iolaus like this....gods, what was Iolaus suffering?

It was all Herc could do to stop himself from rushing to Iolaus...he felt as if his heart was
racing and he felt out of breath. He hated these physical reactions...he didn't even have a
body. How could he feel these things? 'Gods, Iolaus. Do you know I'm not there with
you? Do you know that you're alone...?' Herc agonized over the realization that he could
do nothing...he just hoped that Iolaus thought he was there...that he didn't know Herc had
left him hours ago.

The itch inside his head came again, with new coordinates. It was a busy day...wars were
like that. Busy enough, Herc hoped, that no one would notice that they were one soul
short...smiling grimly, he remembered Hades' complaints the last time he'd seen him.
The inventory was backed up so badly it would take weeks to catch up. It was the only
good thing about this horrific day. When he realized that he was actually considering a
backed up inventory of young men's souls a good thing, Hercules shuddered. He was
losing it...he didn't know how much longer he could keep ferrying these souls, dead
before their time, before it became too much. He didn't know how he could keep doing
this, knowing that Iolaus was dying. Herc looked up at the sun....how many more hours
before he could go to Iolaus? At least ten....Hercules sighed. He knew that Iolaus
couldn't die until Death arrived...it was something to hold on to.

*****

Herc had just picked up the soul of a ten year old child...apparently, no age was too young
to be a hero...certainly, no age was too young to die. Bentos had saved the life of his
eight year old sister who had fallen out of their boat into the lake...he had jumped in after
her and, after too many terrifying minutes, he had found her at the bottom of the lake.
He'd grabbed her arm and pulled her to the surface, where she gasped for air. Thank the
gods, Marta was alive. He used the last of his strength to push her over into the security
of the boat. The ice cold water, combined with the exertion of pushing her limp body up
into the boat, caused his own body to cramp painfully. They weren't far from shore and
he knew his mother would soon come to call them in for supper. Marta'd be okay.
Tired...he was so tired...it hurt so bad...he lost his grip on the side of the boat and slipped
below the surface...where Hercules was waiting to catch the small soul.

Bentos found himself in the arms of a huge stranger, being carried out of the lake,
towards the shore. Confused, he asked, "What happened? Who are you?"

Hercules looked down on the small soul with infinite compassion. Stopping for a
moment on the shore, he knelt to look the boy in the eye. "Bentos, you saved Marta's
life...you're a hero!" Bentos grinned at this...a hero!!! Wait til the other guys heard about
this! Wow! Herc knew the child had not realized he'd died. Considering the lake, he
realized that drowning must be painless, the death like going to sleep. He was grateful
for the mercy of that at least. Sighing, he looked back at Bentos... 'how did you do this,
Thanatos? How do I tell this child he is dead?'

He put his arm around the child and looked at him solemnly. "Bentos, I need you to be
brave, okay?" Bentos nodded...he was a hero, 'course he could be brave!

"I'm sorry, son, but...after you saved Marta, you slipped under the water...you
drowned...."

Bentos stared at him, at first not understanding, then his eyes widened in shock. "I
drowned? But...but...that means...I'mmm..." the child's eyes filled with tears as he
stumbled to a halt. Herc pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly. "It's okay, Bentos,
you'll be alright, I promise...you're going straight to the Elysian Fields...that's where all
the heroes go...you'll be okay." Herc choked back his own sob...breaking down now
wouldn't help the child. When he felt the boy nod against his shoulder and mumble with
some little anticipation, "The Elysian Fields.....?" Herc picked him up and forced a grin,
"Yeah...you'll like it there...and...and I know some other great kids who you'll meet...
you'll have a great time playing together. My sons are just about your age...."

"Your sons?" Bentos brightened at the idea of not being the only kid in the Elysian
Fields. "Okay," he nodded, "I guess we'd better go..." The child took one last look at his
world before Herc had transported them to the Other Side. This time, though, Herc took
the chance of taking the boy directly across the Styx...no way did this kid deserve to have
to endure Charon's ghoulish appearance.

*****

Iolaus moaned. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness for hours. His hands
had lost all feeling, his wrists were worn raw by the manacles, his shoulders felt like his
arms were being pulled out of their sockets. Blearily, he looked around the cell...it was
still daylight, but only just...must be almost dusk. How long had he been hanging here?
His back still burned, but the bleeding had stopped, not that he could tell. Not that he
cared.

If he had thought the agony of the knife in his gut had been bad that morning, he had had
no conception of what real pain was. His body was consumed by the fire of it, deep,
pulsing waves of fire that spread outward from the wound. His abdomen was in a
constant cramp, the muscles of his body tortured both by hanging for too long and from
the continuing violation of the knife. Internal organs had been ripped and slashed,
causing infection to add it's rage to the mix. He was fevered, on the edge of delirium.

Iolaus screamed...no reason not to...there was no one to hear him.
"HERCULESSSS!!!" It was the savage sound of an animal tormented beyond
endurance...he screamed until his throat was raw and his voice gave out. Iolaus sobbed in
despair...then tried to suppress the sobs because they shook his body, adding more
torment to his already overburdened senses.

Hercules had not come for him...the agony was terrible...he couldn't hold on much longer.
Tears streamed down his face. Where was Hercules? Why hadn't he come? "Oh gods,
this can't go on...please, someone, hear me...please, let me die...." he whispered, certain
that the unbelievable agony would drive him mad if it continued much longer. He didn't
want Herc to find him dead...but, he couldn't stand it anymore. It was too much. If
anyone had been there, even Ares, he might have begged for release. He'd left his pride
behind hours ago. But Ares had not returned...certain Iolaus was dead, Ares hadn't given
him a second thought after having left the cell that morning.

"Hercules," Iolaus whimpered, as the blackness granted him a brief reprieve from the
endless fire.

*****

Iolaus' pleas were heard and recorded by the attentive clerks toiling in the bowels of
Hades' fortress on the Other Side. Strange, one noted, he was sure he'd sent these
coordinates out hours ago...Iolaus of Thebes...yes, there it was...the first call was
registered during the midmorning rush. Oh well, Thanatos probably had just forgotten,
distracted by the ongoing stream of souls he had been escorting all day. The clerk closed
his eyes and sent out the coordinates again. Poor tormented soul...he should not have had
to suffer this long...Death was meant to be a release and this hero had suffered far beyond
the bounds of human endurance. Thanatos wasn't usually this carelessly cruel.

*****

He'd just left the boy with a registry clerk when he turned around and saw Hades, who
looked almost shocked to see him, "Hercules! What are you doing here? Slumming?"

Herc forced a grin, tried to act relaxed. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that...I'll be going
back for Timeron soon and I, well, I just wanted to thank you again for making this
possible."

Hades narrowed his eyes. Hercules was a terrible liar...Hades knew he was up to
something, but he didn't want to press for the details. Hercules grinned madly at him,
"Well, I can see you're busy...gotta go!" And, with that, Herc thought himself back into
the living world. "Whew! That was close," he muttered, "Too close."

Just then, he got the summons to pick up the hero at Ares' temple...and an extra little
harangue from the clerk about having left the poor man hanging around all day...surely
Death knew that the hero did not deserve this neglect. He'd suffered enough! Snap to
it...the man was whimpering in pain, desperate for release! No hero should have to beg
like that! Finally, the harangue ended.

Herc fell to his knees, wrapped his arms around himself to contain his shudders of grief
and fear. 'Oh gods, Iolaus...what have I done to you?' Ares might have caused the fatal
injuries, but the suffering was because Herc had left him to endure for hours, alone.
None of this would be happening if Herc hadn't given up his body. 'I'm so sorry, my
friend...gods, I'm so sorry....'

Herc trembled with his grief...and shame. He knew if he had gone to Hades in the first
place, last evening when Ares had made his threat, he could have persuaded Hades to end
the deal with Timeron early. He'd had another chance to make that decision when
Thanatos came later...but, no, he had to do it all himself...had to honour the promise to
Timeron and also have a failsafe plan to make sure Iolaus couldn't be killed while Herc
was powerless to help him....stupid, arrogant...he'd had a last chance when he'd gone to
the campfire that morning and found Iolaus gone...but, he hadn't really thought Ares
would go so far as to cause mortal injuries...Ares enjoyed tormenting them...and you
couldn't torment someone who was dead.

Now it was too late...Iolaus was dying. If Hercules did not keep playing the role of
Death, Celesta, or Hades himself, would go to claim Iolaus' soul. If he went to Timeron,
to get his body back, it would take him at least an hour to get to Iolaus...and again,
someone from the Other Side would get there first. Now, he would have to play it
out...get close enough to the time when Thanatos was due to return so no one would
notice that Death was absent when Herc stopped playing the role, so that he would have
time...time to get to Iolaus, to get him to a healer...it must still be possible to save his
friend...it had to be possible.

Herc knew it would be hours yet...it was barely dusk. Two more hours...Iolaus would
have to endure at least two more hours. 'Gods, Iolaus...please hang on' he whispered to
himself, the fear he felt for his friend twisting in his gut. Another summons buzzed in his
brain. Forcing himself to his feet, Hercules listened to the coordinates and thought
himself there.

Marcus, the man who was waiting for him, was not old...but his wasted body told of
terrible illness, and the lines drawn in his face spoke of endurance. He had suffered great
pain. Marcus had been a brave commander and he'd saved the lives of many others when
he'd been younger. He'd earned the right to enter the Elysian Fields years ago. But, he
had lived, married, had a family...only to see them die, one by one...from the same disease
that was taking him now. His breath was rasping in his chest as he lay alone in his
cottage near the sea. When he saw Hercules flash into view, he raised a half smile. The
light was dim and he could not really make out Herc's face, but he knew this had to be
Death coming for him...and he was glad. It was time.

As Herc came closer, into the light of the candle burning by the bed, Marcus' eyes
widened in surprise. "Hercules! What...what are you...doing ...here?" he gasped.

Herc knelt by the bed, dismayed to see his old, and valued, comrade. "Marcus, oh
no...what's happened..."

"I've...been ill...Hercules...very ill. I...had hoped...you were...Thanatos." Marcus was
breathless, from pain and weakness.

Herc could hardly bear to look his friend in the eyes. It had been hard enough with
strangers...terrible when it was the child...but this...how could he do this. Marcus was his
friend.

"I'm sorry, Marcus...I'm helping Thanatos out..." he murmured.

His friend's eyes clouded with concern. "How can...that be? Are you...dead?"

"No," Herc smiled sadly, to reassure this old friend, "No...it's a long story, Marcus."

Relieved, Marcus nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. Then, he looked back at
Hercules and smiled warmly. "I'm glad...you're here, Hercules..." he managed to say.

Herc shook his head, "Marcus, you don't understand...I'm here to take you to the Other
Side...I'm sorry..."

Marcus' smile broadened. "I...understand. I'm..glad to go...glad to be taken by ...a
friend. Thank you, Hercules..." sighing, Marcus let his body, the pain and the loss, go...it
was time...he was going to join his family.

Hercules, watching as his friend's soul left his body behind, was astonished when
Marcus' soul immediately grabbed Herc in a crushing, grateful hug. "Oh, Hercules...I've
wanted this so badly! My family, my wife, Asura, and my boys died last month...I can be
with them now!" Marcus saw the look on Herc's face...his unconscious, reflexive denial
that anyone could welcome death. Marcus put his arm around his old friend's shoulder,
"It's alright, Hercules...maybe if I hadn't been so ill...but I was never going to get better.
I just wanted it all to be over. This is a new adventure, my friend! I'm more than ready
for it...lead on!"

Hercules gazed in amazement at his friend as he listened to the words...and, at last, he
finally understood that Death was not the enemy. Death was a release...in every life, there
came a time when it was to be welcomed. Even when it was sudden, and unexpected,
death was still a release... and the souls of those who had lived well, who cared for others,
who had been honourable, had no need to fear it. The soul didn't die...just the body. The
soul was going to a better, peaceful place...where it could be with family and friends for
eternity. No more fear, no more struggle or pain...yes, he could understand that Death
could be welcome when it was time.

Finally, Hercules also realized that, as Death, he had not killed anyone...each soul had
freely left their body, chosen to stop breathing once they knew he was there to ease their
pain, to grant them peace...the moment of dying hadn't been his decision...no, each soul
decided for themselves when it was time. He was there to bring them comfort and
solace...to ensure they did not die alone...Death was a gentle, welcome guide to a better
place.

"Alright, Marcus," Herc said as he hugged his old friend, "One family reunion coming
right up!" The friends were chuckling together as they blinked from the sea coast to the
Other Side.

Taking his leave, Marcus clasped arms with Hercules. "I must remember to thank Hades
for sending you for me, Hercules...it was good to see you one last time...good to be with a
friend on the trip to the Other Side...."

Herc gripped his friend's arm. "I'm glad I was able to be there for you, Marcus, but...
please don't mention this to Hades."

Marcus looked askance for a moment then burst out laughing. "He doesn't know...Hades
doesn't know you're masquarading as Death? Hercules, what are you up to this time?"

Herc couldn't help but grin back until he remembered why he was playing this game...
and the cost Iolaus was paying. Looking away, he shook his head as he said, "I can't
explain, Marcus...not right now. But, I'm sure you'll hear the story soon...Hades is likely
to be shouting at everyone when he finds out." Looking back, he continued, "I can't take
you any further...follow that path and it will take you home." Marcus nodded and with a
final smile, he set off toward the river.

Not long after, Hercules received yet another summons about Iolaus...luckily, it was a
different clerk who didn't seem to know that this soul had been waiting all day. Good
thing...the other one would have gone beyond annoyance to outrage and would have
reported the dereliction of duty to Hades. As it was, time was running out. He had to get
to Iolaus before Hades found out what he was doing. There had to be a way...he had to
get to Iolaus, but even when he got his body back, he'd lose too much time getting
there...it wouldn't take long before someone noticed that Death was no longer responding
to calls.

Herc wasn't concerned about shortchanging Timeron by a few hours...Timeron would
understand and .... wait...maybe, just maybe...there was a way to get his body and
be with Iolaus immediately. Timeron did not have to be back before midnight....it
was worth a try...it was the only option left. As he thought about Daphne's cottage,
Hercules spared a fleeting moment of apology to the absent spirit of Thanatos. The lack
of anyone responding to the summons to those needing release during the next hour or so
would inevitably come to Hades' attention...Thanatos was going to feel his wrath.

*****

Hercules hesitated a moment outside the cabin...what if he was interrupting...Herc gave
himself a mental slap...what if he was...Iolaus was more important than...Hercules moved
through the wall and found Timeron and Daphne asleep in one another's arms.

"Timeron, you have to wake up! Timeron!" Hercules watched his body stir...and
wake...it gave him a queasy feeling to watch himself.

Timeron gasped when he saw Herc's spirit, "What is it...am I late...?"

"No...no...you're not late. I need your help, Timeron...something's happened to Iolaus
and I need you...." Timeron scrambled from the bed, disturbing Daphne who mumbled
softly and then woke, startled to see Timeron quickly dressing. When she heard Timeron
speak to the air, she realized they were no longer alone. Hercules must be in the room.

"Of course I will help you!" Timeron was throwing on his clothes...Herc's clothes.
When he sat to pull on the boots, Daphne pulled on his shoulders...desperate to have him
stay. "Timeron, please, don't go yet...please...it's too soon."

Timeron turned and caught her in a hug. His eyes filled with tears, knowing this was the
last time he would hold her. "I have to go, Daphne," he whispered, "Please understand
...Hercules and Iolaus need my help....Remember...I will always love you." He kissed her
once more, gently, longingly...then pulled her arms from around his neck. "Goodbye,
Daphne...don't worry...when it's time, we'll see each other again...I'll be waiting for you,
my love." Closing his eyes against the sight of her tears, Timeron turned and followed
Hercules away from the cottage.

"Hercules, what's happening...where's Iolaus?"

"Ares happened...He took Iolaus this morning. I don't know exactly what he has done to
him, but I do know that Iolaus is very badly hurt...I have to get to him."

Timeron was consumed by guilt. "Hercules...why didn't you come back for me sooner
...for your body...I didn't know...."

"Easy, Timeron...this isn't your fault, it's mine. At first, I didn't think that it would be
this serious...and then, I thought Iolaus would be able to hang on until I got there...I didn't
think about what it might be costing him....I just didn't think it could be this bad."

Listening to his words, Herc knew he had been a fool. 'Stupid...I was stupid and
thoughtless, and as usual, Iolaus is paying the price,' Herc berated himself mercilessly.

"Listen, Timeron, I have to get to him...now, before Hades finds out he's been waiting for
Death since this morning." Quickly, he outlined what he needed Timeron to do.

"But, we only have until midnight, Hercules...if we're any later, Hades won't let either of
us remain on earth...or return to the Other Side...we'll be stuck in between...and you
won't be able to help Iolaus then...."

"Well, you'll just have to move quickly. The temple isn't much more than an hour from
here...remember, do exactly as I told you...if you have to fight to get in or out...don't
hesitate. We won't have another chance." Herc didn't have time to get there in his own
body...he needed to be there now. He was out of time...Iolaus was out of time. Thinking
about the cell in Ares' ancient temple, he was gone.

Timeron swallowed hard. He wasn't a warrior...but, he owed Hercules. He would do his
best...it would have to be enough.

****

There wasn't much light in the cell, just a dim, uncertain flickering from the torches out
in the passage way, beyond the open the door. But, there was enough to see the
brutalized man hanging by his arms in the middle of the room. Iolaus, while not
completely unconscious, had lost full awareness of what was happening around him. He
no longer had the strength to scream, to beg for release...but the fire that burned ever
more hotly through his body drove him to moan in endless anguish.

The sound of such misery cut Hercules to his soul. He winced when he saw the grim
evidence of the whippings, the raw wounds crisscrossing Iolaus's back...the pool of blood
on the floor...too much blood. Then, Hercules saw the knife and groaned...he had
expected wounds from beatings and whippings...not this. He wished desperately that he
could break Iolaus free of the manacles, carry him straight to the nearest healer...but he
was still helpless. He could do nothing to ease this torment.

Standing close beside Iolaus, unable to touch him, Herc's heart ached to hear the laboured
breathing, the pitiful moans. The blood still dripped from Iolaus' wound onto the floor
below. In the normal course of events, Hercules knew Iolaus would have, should have,
died hours ago, shortly after Ares had thrust the knife into his body. Instead, he had been
hanging here in desperate agony, hour after endless hour. People kept breathing until
Death told them they could let go...when Death didn't show up, Iolaus had had to keep
breathing through the long, long day.

Tears burned Herc's eyes as the sight and the sound of his friend's suffering lashed him
with guilt. Throughout the long hours of playing Death, he had seen no one suffer like
this...it wasn't allowed...Hades was more merciful than this. For a moment, he wondered
if he should escort one last soul on its journey...Iolaus had suffered enough, more than
enough...beyond anything Hercules could begin to imagine. But, he couldn't do it.
Ashamed, he understood it was because he couldn't bear the thought of living without
Iolaus...that he was too selfish to let him go. "I'm sorry, Iolaus, I can't grant you peace...I
can't. We'll get you to help soon...just a little longer my friend...just...just endure a little
longer...."

Iolaus' breathing caught, the moaning ceased. "Herc?" he whispered...his mouth so dry,
his throat so sore, he could scarcely be heard. He'd waited so long to hear that
voice...Herc was okay...Hercules had come for him. "You've...come....finally...."

Hercules started...how could Iolaus hear him? Then, he remembered...souls in torment
could hear Death...and that's who he was...at least until Thanatos was back on the job.

"I'm here, Iolaus...I'm here." Gods, he wished he could touch him, hold him.

"I...it's too much...help me, Herc...please..." Iolaus' voice was little more than a murmur
in the air.

"I can't, Iolaus...soon..." Herc whispered back...gods, this was awful...he'd never felt so
helpless, so useless.

Iolaus didn't understand. Why didn't Hercules cut him down...hold him? Why didn't he
help him? How could Herc just leave him like this? His thoughts were jumbled, it was
hard to think...hard to get past the pain. So tired... " I'm sorry...Herc....just want...it...to
end...."

"No, Iolaus...you can't die...I won't let you." Iolaus despaired...he wanted to die. But,
Herc wouldn't help him...and wouldn't let him go. Letting his consciousness drift and
fade, his breathing slowed...he no longer had enough strength left even to moan.
Hercules cried in helpless despair as he watched the man he loved more than life itself
drift away from him. "<i>Hang on, Iolaus, just a little longer.</i>"

Who would get here first? Timeron or Thanatos...or would Hades come personally? He
waited. Iolaus suffered.

*****

Suddenly, a furious Thanatos flashed into the cell. "What kind of game have you been
playing at, Hercules?" he stormed.

Moving between him and Iolaus, Herc held out his hands. "You can't have him,
Thanatos...."

"How dare you! How dare you take on my role, only to abuse it...abuse him. I thought
you cared about this man, Hercules. How could you leave him like this?"

"I didn't know how bad..." Herc muttered, ashamed.

"Nonsense! You know the clerks send those summons to escort souls when it's
time...before they need suffer like this.... The first call to release Iolaus came long before
noon. Maybe I can understand you ignoring it the first time...but Hercules...you were
Death...you saw what people were suffering...when the second call came...and the
third...seeing this...how could you turn your back on him?"

"You don't understand...I took on your job so that, if Ares really hurt him this time, while
I couldn't protect him...I could at least keep you from taking him...."

"Yes," Thanatos replied coldly, "I've already figured that out. Why didn't you just go
back for Timeron...you could have gotten here hours ago. His pleasure was scarcely
worth this."

Hercules looked away, hating himself. "I just didn't think..."

"Obviously," scorned Thanatos. Looking past Hercules, to Iolaus, Thanatos let his anger
go...Iolaus deserved his attention now. "Get out of the way, Hercules...he's weak, he's in
agony...it's beyond time that he be given release."

"No, I won't let him go...I won't let you take him." Hercules took a step back, closer to
Iolaus.

"Why not? How can you condemn him to suffer more of this."

"You don't understand...I need him, Thanatos...I can't let him go...." Herc whispered.

Thanatos looked at Hercules with unbridled scorn. "I never would have thought this of
you, Hercules...I thought you were better than the others. I guess blood shows. You used
me, and you can do this to him...not for his sake, but for your own. Utterly
ruthless. Self serving. You're worse than the gods, Hercules...they don't pretend
to care for the mortals they torture."

Thanatos could not conceal his revulsion. No one should be made to suffer as Iolaus had
suffered. He was ashamed to have been a party to it all. If he had not allowed Hercules
to take on his duties, Iolaus would have been mercifully released long ago.

Ignoring Hercules, Thanatos focused his attention on Iolaus. "Iolaus," he called softly, "I
know you can hear me...you can let go now...I'm here to take you away from here...just
let go."

Hercules heard Iolaus' breathing falter. "NooooOOOOOO!!!" he cried, as he turned to
face his friend... "No, Iolaus, please...." There must be something else he could do...one
last way to deny Death. Wanting desperately to hold Iolaus, Herc encircled Iolaus with
his arms and stepped into him, as if he could press his friend to his heart...and found
himself merging his spirit into Iolaus' body. Hercules almost sobbed with the relief of
being able to be with Iolaus.

"I'll give you my strength...please Iolaus, don't let go..." he whispered to Iolaus' mind, to
his soul. The outline of Herc's spirit had no sooner disappeared into Iolaus' tortured
body, when Iolaus' breathing steadied, became deeper, more rapid, and his heart beat
became a little stronger.

Thanatos shook his head...Hercules would evidently do anything to keep Iolaus alive.
But, it was an act of desperation. Living took more than strength...it also took will.
Thanatos was not sure that Iolaus still wanted to live. Thanatos felt a grim satisfaction
when he realized that Hercules would now know exactly how much his friend was
suffering...understand what his decisions had cost Iolaus. Even if he still wouldn't let the
man go, Hercules couldn't remain in Iolaus' body forever...he had to get back into his
own body by midnight. Thanatos would return for Iolaus then.

*****

Hercules could not believe the pain...waves of it poured over and through him, like
lava...blinding pain, overwhelming, all consuming agony...fire burned throughout the
body, muscles screamed for release...pain smothered the breath in his chest...pain that
shut out everything else...memories, pride, love, identity...everything in Iolaus, every fibre
of his being, just wanted it to end. Hercules could hear the numbing litany in Iolaus'
mind... 'please let me go...please...Herc...please let me go...please...."

Iolaus was confused...he felt as if he could feel Hercules, hear him...as if he was inside
Iolaus' head...but...that was impossible. Iolaus felt so tired...he figured he was only
wishing Herc was there with him...knowing that he wasn't. If Herc was really there...
he'd have released him from the manacles...would be carrying him to help. If Iolaus
could have snorted in bitterness and irony, he would have...he was pleading with someone
who wasn't there...for permission to die. He couldn't do it anymore...it was too
hard...but, it felt like Hercules was making him hold on...he didn't understand.

Iolaus was beyond caring about the pain his death would cause Hercules, beyond being
sorry...beyond thought and reason. He could only feel the agony and it was too much to
bear. Iolaus was no longer aware of anything but his desperate desire to die...why
wouldn't Hercules let him go...why was he forcing him to endure this horror? Iolaus had
heard Thanatos, had understood release was at hand and he had been more than ready to
let go. Hercules had to fight the body, forcing it to breathe, forcing the heart to keep
beating...it took all of Herc's strength to hold him, to withstand the pain himself and just
hold Iolaus' soul with his own.

*****

It was about a half hour later when Timeron burst into the cell. He'd lost some time
finding the right one, but he had not been slowed down much by the guards. He hadn't
encountered more than a couple of them on his way through the temple and he had
knocked them out with ease. Flexing his arms, he marvelled at the strength that he felt in
Hercules' body....it was something he could never have imagined. Looking up, he
stopped in horror when he saw the body hanging so still, saw the knife...saw the blood.

Timeron knew enough not to pull the knife out...if he did, whatever blood was left in
Iolaus' body would rush out. He moved to stand beside Iolaus and put one arm around his
limp, naked body while he reached up with the other to snap the manacles, one at a time.
As Iolaus' semiconscious body slumped against him, Timeron gently gathered him into
his arms...Hercules' arms...and turning, raced to the Healer, as Herc had instructed him to
do.

*****

Hercules had begun to wonder if Timeron was ever going to get there...wonder if
something had happened to him, when he saw his body storm into the room, stop, and
regard Iolaus with horror. Timeron wasted no time in freeing Iolaus from the manacles.
Feeling the strength of his arm around Iolaus' body, Hercules was stunned by the
experience. He was so much bigger than Iolaus...so much stronger. Inside the smaller
man's body, he realized, perhaps for the first time, how really vulnerable Iolaus had
always been. When Timeron swept Iolaus' body into his arms, Herc felt like a
defenceless child...no wonder Iolaus always hated to be carried. It made the differences
between them too stark...emphasized Iolaus' smallness, his mortal frailty.

He was also humbled by Iolaus' reaction. He felt a spark in the other man, an immense
relief. Iolaus could feel Hercules finally helping him...freeing him...holding him close.
Iolaus relaxed into Hercules' arms...he was safe now. Hercules was overwhelmed, and
humbled, by the trust Iolaus placed in him...unquestioning, complete trust.

Herc could hear the scraps of thoughts in Iolaus' mind... 'alright now....sorry Herc...wish I
could tell you....too late... glad...glad you're here...safe...tried to hold on...sorry...too
hard...' After all that had happened, all he had suffered, Iolaus still felt he was letting
Hercules down, was worried more about Hercules than himself. Hercules felt a powerful
emotion well up within Iolaus' body...an emotion so powerful, it almost pushed the pain
aside. Herc recognised it...it was the same emotion he felt whenever he thought about
Iolaus. Love. Love so strong that it would do anything, anything for the other person.
Love so strong that it hurt.

"I'm here, Iolaus," Hercules murmured to Iolaus' mind and spirit. "I've got you...you'll
be okay....hold on, Iolaus....hold on...." Herc unleashed the feelings he had controlled so
tightly for so many years...let his love fill Iolaus and merge with the love Iolaus felt for
him. If he failed, if he couldn't keep Iolaus from slipping away, at least Iolaus would
know how very much Hercules loved him.

*****

"By the gods, Hercules, what's happened to Iolaus?"

One look at the pale, crumpled form in Hercules' arms was enough to galvanize the
healer, Meridan. Leading the tall man through his house, Meridan instructed the hero to
put Iolaus on a table in his work room. Stoking a fire, he shoved in a knife to heat it and
hung a kettle on a hook over the fire, to boil water for tea. He grabbed up a pile of linen
and towels as he turned back to the recumbent, silent form on the table. Hercules was
standing on the other side of the table, gripping the smaller blond man's hand, staring
down at his face.

Timeron knew that the Healer thought he was Hercules. There was no point in explaining
any different...it would only distract him. Meridan muttered as he examined the ugly
knife wound...and he'd seen the condition of the naked man's back when Hercules had
carried him in...sadly, he didn't have much hope for Iolaus...such injuries were invariably
fatal. Wondering who had tortured Iolaus, he turned back to the fire to pull out the red
hot knife. Holding it in one hand, he swiftly pulled the knife out of Iolaus' body and
immediately applied the other knife to the wound to cauterize it...to seal it against further
bleeding. Meridan dropped both knives to the floor as he hastily reached for his herbs,
with which he dusted the wound before applying pressure to it with a towel. It was too
late to hope the burning knife, or the herbs, could kill the infection raging in Iolaus'
body...it was clearly out of control. Nevertheless, he had to do what he could. The
Healer could feel the waves of heat that radiated from the body...if the fever could not be
alleviated, Iolaus would soon be in convulsions.

*****

Hercules was aware of the Healer's ministrations...he felt the searing agony of the knife
being pulled from Iolaus' body and the even greater pain of the cauterizing blade. Iolaus
might appear to be fully unconscious to Timeron and Meridan, but Hercules could hear
the primal shriek that filled his friend's mind. "I'm here, Iolaus, I won't leave you..." he
murmured to his friend. Iolaus heard him...through it all, he heard him and a great
weariness filled him. It was too much...Hercules expected too much of him. Herc could
feel Iolaus slipping farther away. "Come on, Iolaus, don't quit on me now...you have to
try." Why, Iolaus wondered as he floated toward the darkness, why did he have to try? "I
need you, Iolaus," Herc whispered from the depths of his soul, "Please don't leave me..."
Iolaus didn't really want to leave Hercules...he just wanted the agony to end...but, for
Hercules...he could hang on...for a little longer.

*****

Looking up at the man he saw as Hercules, Meridan said, "You'll have to help me...Lift
him while I treat his back and wind linen around him to keep the dressings in place."
Timeron nodded and, putting an arm under Iolaus, around his shoulders, he gently lifted
Iolaus enough for the Healer to do his work. When Meridan nodded, Timeron eased
Iolaus back down. The Healer then turned to the kettle and poured the steaming water
into a mug. He added herbs and honey. The small blond warrior was badly injured and
had lost a lot of blood...the fluid was necessary to restore the balance in his body...and the
herbs would help numb the pain...assuming Iolaus ever woke up enough to feel pain. The
Healer lifted Iolaus' head and managed to get most of the liquid into his body.

Next, he brought a basin of water mixed with alcohol and some rags to the side of the
table. Quickly, he wiped the feverish body with the cool, wet rags...fighting the fever,
trying to bring it down. But, he could tell he was having little effect. Iolaus was well
beyond his help and he knew it.

"Hercules," Meridan said softly, "I've done all I can...you can carry him into the other
room and lay him on the cot...it's more comfortable than this table." Timeron complied,
being as gentle as he could...but still, Iolaus moaned softly in pain. Once Timeron had
laid Iolaus on the cot, Meridan covered his nakedness with a light sheet. He could do no
more right now...the man's life was in the hands of the gods.

Timeron pulled a chair up beside the cot. Taking Iolaus' hand, he continued his vigil.

*****

Timeron didn't know what time it was...but he knew it was getting late. Continuing to
hold tightly onto Iolaus' hand, Timeron's anxiety had risen as the minutes stretched to
hours and the hours moved towards midnight. He wished he could see some change on
the too pale, too still face. He also wished that he knew where Hercules had gone...but,
he trusted Hercules to return before midnight. Meridan had long ago fallen asleep in a
chair in the corner, his soft snores the only sound in the room.

When Thanatos appeared, Timeron knew they didn't have any time left...and so did
Hercules. Iolaus' body took a long, deep breath just before the spectre of Hercules rose
up from within it. The breathing faltered for a moment, but then continued. Not as deep,
slower...but steady....

Hercules's soul immediately moved to enter into his own body...as he went in, an amazed
Timeron came out. Herc kept his grip on Iolaus' hand. "Go away, Thanatos...I won't let
you take him."

Thanatos waved Timeron over to stand beside him, then looked over at Hercules with a
frozen expression. When Thanatos moved toward Iolaus, Hercules immediately shifted
to stand between them. Weary, Thanatos finally replied, "You can't stop me, Hercules...
you know that. Now that you've separated your soul from his, you can't stop him from
leaving if he's ready to go."

Thanatos was no longer angry with Hercules...he was just very, very sad. He understood
the desperation that made one loved one cling to another, wanting to deny the reality, the
finality of death...he had seen it all a million times before. There was really no way to
make it easier when one refused to let the other go, but Hercules was not Thanatos'
concern. Iolaus was. "I'm here, Iolaus...it's up to you. Are you ready to go? Is it time?"

They waited for a response, but there was no change in the laboured breathing. Thanatos
smiled thinly, "Well, I guess that's his answer."

Looking back at Hercules, Thanatos continued, "By matching your strength of spirit with
his, Hercules, you have bought Iolaus time. With your spirit inside of him, you gave
Iolaus the benefit of your semidivine health and powers of recovery long enough to stop
the internal bleeding...long enough to allow the damaged organs to begin healing. We'll
see if it's enough. Iolaus is willing to keep fighting...no matter what it keeps costing
him....You've won, Hercules...at least for now."

Turning, Thanatos took Timeron by the arm. The young spirit only had enough time to
say a quick 'thank you', his eyes revealing both his gratitude for the gift of time with
Daphne that Hercules had given to him, and his grief for the cost of that gift, before both
he and Thanatos disappeared.

*****

Turning back to Iolaus, Hercules collapsed to his knees beside the cot and brushed the
unruly golden curls back from Iolaus' face. Gently laying his hand on Iolaus' shoulder,
Herc gave way to the tears he had been holding in check. Taking Iolaus' hand, he bowed
his head over Iolaus' still form...would Iolaus live? If he did live, would he ever be able
to forgive him for what Hercules had made him endure? Would he thank Hercules for
having merged with his body and soul...or would he feel violated? Struggling against his
own grief and guilt, Hercules vowed he would watch over Iolaus until he woke.

Herc's thoughts ran in circles, replaying the last twenty four hours over and over.

He had hated leaving Iolaus alone the night before, knowing that Ares would take him,
would hurt him.

He'd been terrified when he'd received the summons to collect Iolaus' soul....

He'd hated being Death...watching the end of all of those lives, but he had finally
understood that Death was a release, a welcome release.

He'd been sick when he'd seen the knife, and understood the agony his best friend had
suffered throughout the long day.

But, it had been the only way to keep Death away.

He despised himself for not being able to grant Iolaus the same release that he had given
to so many others, despised his selfishness, his weakness...but he couldn't help
it...without Iolaus, there was no point, no point to anything.

Ruthless? Was he as self absorbed as the other gods? Was Thanatos right? Herc gazed
at Iolaus, wondering how much he would make Iolaus endure rather than give him
up...and he was deeply ashamed of the answer. Given the choice and the power to decide,
as long as there was any hope that Iolaus could be saved, he would make his friend
endure anything rather than let him go...Hercules knew that as long as he was alive, he
would do everything, anything, in his power to keep Iolaus alive, too. Maybe Thanatos
was right, maybe he was no better than any of the other gods....maybe he was worse.

Herc wondered if Iolaus had realized that Hercules had invaded his body. Would Iolaus
be angry at being 'taken over', even if it was by his best friend, even if it was to save his
life? Herc realized he really didn't care if Iolaus was angry...he'd deal with it. The only
thing that mattered was that Iolaus was going to live...that Iolaus would not be following
the Highway to Hades tonight.

*****

Throughout the night, Hercules bathed Iolaus with cool clothes, fighting the fever...and
losing. In the empty hour just before dawn, the fever peaked and continued to rage. It
was more than the body could endure. One moment, Iolaus was lying quietly, struggling
for each breath...and the next, his body arced in a long spasm, his limbs thrashing
involuntarily as the convulsions hit and rolled through his body, one after another.

Hercules could do nothing but watch and hold Iolaus, keep him from rolling off the cot
onto the floor. "Oh, gods, Iolaus..." he murmured helplessly. Finally, the spasms ended.
Hercules continued to bathe his friend, with water and alcohol...it was all he had to cool
him. Iolaus' breathing remained ragged, uncertain...but then seemed to ease a bit just as
the dawn broke and light began to enter the room. Hercules pulled Iolaus into his
arms...cradled him against his chest, held him tightly...Hercules knew, now, as much as
Iolaus might complain about being carried, when he was most vulnerable, he felt safest in
Herc's arms...and Hercules needed to hold him.

After a while, he felt Iolaus stir. "Herc?" came the faded voice, hardly audible.

"I'm here, Iolaus...you're safe now." Hercules whispered back.

"What...what took you...so long....?" This was the question that had haunted Iolaus all
the previous day...where was Hercules? What was taking him so long?

Herc's eyes blurred, "Shhh, it's a long story...I'll tell you when you're better...rest now."

He felt Iolaus relax, settle into his arms. " 'kay, Herc...." he muttered as he drifted back
into unconsciousness.

*****

It was two more days before the fever finally broke...two days of fighting it, waiting as it
rose and fell; two days of forcing fluids into Iolaus' body, one sip at a time...and two
more nights of constant vigil. Despite the herbs Meridan gave Iolaus for pain, it was clear
the hunter was still suffering badly. When he was asleep, his hands would press into his
abdomen and he would unconsciously curl, moaning against the pain. On the few
occasions when he was lucid, he would only say that it hurt, nothing else, nothing. His
eyes though, said more...asked more. He was waiting for the answer to his question.
Herc was not sure he had the courage to give it to him.

Meridan wanted Hercules to sleep...it was going on to the fourth day since he'd had any
rest. But Hercules was not about to leave Iolaus until he was out of danger. In the early
hours of morning, Iolaus again began to thrash, moaning against the pain. Hercules
continued to bathe him, continued to murmur encouragement...until finally, finally...the
fever broke. Sweat poured from Iolaus' body. He gradually quietened, his breathing less
laboured... Iolaus drifted into the first natural sleep he'd had since Ares had awakened
him by the campfire three days before. Relief washed through Herc's body. He bowed
his head, silent tears of gratitude staining his cheeks.

*****

Later that day, Iolaus awoke feeling more normal than he had for days. The fever was
gone. It didn't hurt to breathe, so he thought he might try moving....owww....not the best
idea. He laid back on the pillows, panting from the pain, not completely sure of where
he was. He remembered being in the cell...he was afraid he might never <i>forget</i>
being there. But, everything after that was a blur of confused, shattered images and
impressions. He thought he remembered Herc being there...in the cell....but, not helping
him. Then, when Herc did help him...it felt like he was inside...as well as outside. Iolaus
was pretty sure that he had either begun to go mad or the pain and fever had made him
delirious.

Iolaus let his eyes drift around the small room. He was on a small cot, there was a chair
and a small table. There were windows in two of the walls and a door covered by a
blanket in the third wall. It was daylight and he could the sounds of children playing not
far away. Must be the Healer's place. He and Herc had met him after the row with
Sisyphus' soldiers...what was his name? Oh yeah, Meridan. Maybe he should try moving
again.

Iolaus was trying to prop himself up on one elbow, when there was a flash of agony from
his abdomen...he flopped down with a gasp.

"What do you think you're doing?" Herc had paused in the doorway.

Iolaus grinned weakly, "Uh, hi, Herc...I thought...I might see...just how weak...and
pitiful...I am..."

"And?"

"And I...guess I'll...give it...another day or...two."

Herc grinned. "At least." He was relieved that Iolaus had grinned at him...didn't seem to
remember all of what had happened...didn't seem angry.

Iolaus sighed. Being bedridden wasn't bad when you were delirious or unconscious...but
he hated it when he was feeling better. It was so boring. Hercules had been watching the
expressions cross Iolaus' face and he couldn't help it, he had to laugh. Iolaus scowled at
him and he just laughed harder...sitting on the chair beside the bed, he reached out and
tousled Iolaus' hair.

"Hey!" Iolaus exclaimed as he brushed Herc's hand away. "What's...so funny?"

"You are, my friend...it's good to have you back."

Iolaus couldn't hold the indignant look...he was pretty happy to be back too! Returning
Herc's grin, he wondered, "So, ah...is there...anything...to eat?"

*****

Once he knew Iolaus was going to survive, Hercules felt able to leave his friend's side to
do something that needed to be done. Saying only that he had an errand to run, he left
Meridan's house.

Herc went to Ares' temple, back to the cell where he had found Iolaus. He was gathering
up Iolaus' clothes and boots when Ares appeared, as Hercules had known he would.

"So, bro," Ares drawled, "You managed to save the little runt's life again...I'm beginning
to believe it may be impossible to kill him...maybe I'll just have to keep trying...it's the
old saying right...if at first you don't succeed, try, try, again!" Ares laughed richly at his
own sick humour.

Herc had turned to face Ares, his face cold, stony...without emotion. He stood silently as
Ares enjoyed his macabre joke. Ares, realizing that something was different, gradually
brought his fit of giggles under control. Wiping his eyes, he continued, "Come on,
Hercules...lighten up. No harm done, right? Your little buddy will soon be good as new.
You'd think he'd never died before!"

Overcome by his own humour, Ares started laughing again...but the silence emanating
from Hercules could not be ignored. "So, are you just going to stand there like some
stone statue on Olympus?"

Hercules had been holding his fury in check with every fibre of his being. He didn't want
to just beat Ares senseless, he wanted to kill him. Swallowing back the bile of his anger,
Hercules stared grimly into Ares eyes.

"Ares, if you ever hurt him like that again, I will kill you...do you understand?" Herc's
voice was as cold as an arctic wind.

Ares stared back. "Don't make threats you can't keep," he growled.

"I don't."

Ares smirked. "Hercules, Hercules...you know you can't kill me...Zeus' rule, remember?
No god is allowed to kill another god."

A cold smile touched Hercules lips as he responded with a deadly quiet, "What makes
you think I care about Zeus' rules?"

Ares narrowed his eyes...he'd never seen Hercules like this...damn, this kind of brother he
might actually like! Maybe the guy wasn't as good and noble as he pretended.

Hercules continued, "Listen to me, Ares...and for your sake, believe me. If you <i>ever
</i> hurt Iolaus like that again, I will kill you...slowly...so that you suffer as he has."

Ares smirked. "You'd like to think that, Hercules...but, I know you...you're too good to
give in to revenge...you don't have it in you. You're making empty threats."

Hercules' eyes blazed, blue ice incandescent with fire. "You forget, Ares...I have the
same blood as you," he spoke with an eerie control. "Iolaus keeps me anchored...lets me
control the part of me that can rage, that can kill. Take away Iolaus and all you have left
is the rage. I'm not threatening you, Ares...I'm making you a promise."

Hercules brushed by Ares as he headed out of the cell. "Stay away from him, Ares...just
stay away from him," he said with cold deliberation.

Ares watched him go...a thoughtful expression on his face. "You shouldn't threaten me,
<i>brother</i>...I don't take threats well," he murmured to the air.

Hercules walked off his fury by heading back to the campsite where all of this had begun.
He bundled Iolaus' clothes and blankets into his pack and, sliding the sword into it's
scabbard, he slung both over his shoulder. Looking at the log on which he'd sat talking
with Thanatos, Hercules thought, 'Even if I can protect you from Ares, Iolaus...who will
protect you from me?'

*****

For almost two weeks, Iolaus slept more than he was awake. The fevers came and went,
but never as virulently as they had raged the first three days. When he was awake,
Meridan and Hercules forced broths and herbal teas into him...strangely, he wasn't all that
hungry...and eating only made him feel sick. The first week, he hadn't been able to keep
anything down. He didn't complain, but the pain was still a white hot agony, searing
through his body. But, gradually, he got better, stronger.

Throughout all of that time, there was no discussion of what had happened between
Iolaus and Hercules. At first, Iolaus was too drowsy, dropping off to sleep in the middle
of a conversation. As he got better, he kept expecting Hercules to tell him what had
happened...but Herc didn't say anything. Just talked about the weather, about the break
they would take to hunt and fish...no more monster killing for a while.

Iolaus had noticed that Herc seemed to have difficulty looking him in the eye whenever
there was a silence. At first, he was mystified...what had happened...why didn't Herc
want to tell him? As the time went on, he found himself getting more and more irritated.
Was he going to have to ask for an explanation? Why did Herc always have to avoid
talking about the tough stuff? What in Hades had happened? Where had he been? Why
had he abandoned Iolaus to face such hideous pain alone? Dammit. Why didn't he say
something?

Hercules had felt the pressure to talk about what he'd done, and why, grow inside of him.
But, Iolaus didn't seem to remember much about what had happened...he didn't ask
anything about it once he'd gotten a bit better. For a while, Herc toyed with the idea of
not saying anything at all...not admitting what he'd done. But, that just made him feel
more guilty, to the point where he couldn't look Iolaus in the eye. He didn't know where
to start...no, that wasn't true. He was afraid. He was afraid that Iolaus would have as
much contempt for him as Thanatos had had...as he had for himself. Once he'd
explained, would Iolaus...despise him? Ever trust him again? Gods...would Iolaus be
able to forgive him? So, he just let it drift...hoping the right time would come along....

*****

It had been three weeks since Iolaus had been taken by Ares. He was still a long way
from being well, but his back was pretty well healed. He still found it hard to stand
straight without suffering sharp abdominal pain, but it was getting better. While he still
tired too easily, at least he could stay awake all day. He decided it was time to move on.

Grateful that Herc had retrieved his clothes for him, he hauled on his leather pants,
slipped his arms into his vest, pulled on his gauntlets and, grunting at the stab of pain in
his belly when he leaned over, tugged on his boots. Once he was dressed, he sat on the
edge of the cot to get his breath back. He wiped sweat from his brow...gods, if he found
dressing this exhausting, how was he going to manage walking? Well, he'd manage...he
wouldn't get better by lying around...that just left him weak. Standing, he took his
scabbard and attached it to his belt and then, with another grunt, leaned down to pick up
his pack and slung it over his shoulder. He took one last look around the room and
headed through the door into the main living space of the cottage.

A look of surprise crossed Meridan's face when he saw Iolaus dressed, evidently ready to
leave.

"Iolaus! I'm not sure you're ready...."

Iolaus smiled warmly, belying his weakness and pain. "I'm fine, Meridan...you do good
work!"

Meridan looked like he was ready to argue, so Iolaus continued quickly, "Really,
Meridan...I owe you my life. Thank you."

Meridan, recognizing that he was not going to win this argument, smiled at Iolaus, "I'm
just glad you've recovered, Iolaus...as to thanking me...well, I honestly didn't think you
would live when Hercules carried you in here. It's your own strength, and the care
Hercules gave you, as much as anything that I did, that saved your life."

Smiling, Iolaus shook his head as he warmly clasped Meridan's arm, "Say what you will,
Meridan...I'll always be grateful to you. Now, where is that overgrown friend of mine?"

*****

Iolaus found Hercules outside, finishing off some repairs on Meridan's cottage, in
repayment for the care he had given Iolaus. Iolaus sat on a bench outside the door,
enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face, the smell of the flowers...watching until his
friend finished and noticed him. Anchoring the last piece of thatch, Hercules dusted off
his hands and turned, saw Iolaus dressed and packed, ready to go.

"What's up, Iolaus...you look like you're going somewhere."

"Well, yeah, I thought it was time we headed off to do some of that fishing you've been
talking about."

Herc shook his head. "Is that a good idea...I mean...you're still not very strong. Maybe in
another few days...."

"Nah, I'll be fine. Besides, you'll be with me, right...it's not like you'd take off and leave
me on my own...not when you know I might need you...right, buddy?"

Iolaus had spoken lightly, but the look in his eyes said more...there was a challenge
there...a question. Hercules froze...and looked away. "Alright, Iolaus...if that's what you
want."

Iolaus winced at this reaction...what in Hades was so bad that Herc looked this guilty?
Damn. He pushed himself to his feet. "Well, I'll start off while you say goodbye to
Meridan...at the pace I'm walking, you won't have any trouble catching up to me!"

Hercules watched him a moment, as he walked slowly, bent like an old, old man, off
through the village. Iolaus might not remember everything...but he remembered that
Hercules had left him, left him to suffer, when he'd needed Hercules most. Herc pushed
his hands through his hair. He couldn't put it off much longer...Iolaus was waiting for an
explanation.

*****

They went slowly that day, out through the village and along the road. It took almost
three hours to reach, and pass, the campsite they had made not far from Daphne's cottage.
Iolaus hadn't said much as they walked...and he'd had to stop more than once to catch his
breath. He hated being this weak. When they were passing the campsite, he looked at the
log.

"You were sitting, there, that night...weren't you, Herc?"

Herc looked at the log Iolaus was pointing at. "Yeah...freaked me out when you looked
right at me...I thought you could see me!"

Iolaus grinned... and they said, together, "Old hunter's trick!" and they both laughed. It
eased the tension between them a bit, and Herc rested a gentle hand on Iolaus' shoulder
for a moment before they continued.

"We don't have to go any further, Iolaus...we can stop and rest...."

Iolaus cut in, "Not yet, Herc...I don't want to stay here. Let's just follow the river through
the forest and see where it takes us...okay?"

"Whatever you want, Iolaus."

'Whatever I want. So, it's defer to Iolaus time...why does he always do this when
he feels guilty...as if he has to do anything I want to make me happy?' Iolaus sighed
softly as they headed into the forest. He'd gotten past irritation...he was getting worried.
Why wouldn't Hercules talk to him...tell him what had happened? How bad could it be?

*****

They'd gone on for another two hours and Iolaus was starting to flag. Hercules had been
watching him with growing concern and twice he'd had to put out a steadying hand when
Iolaus had stumbled. Finally, when Iolaus stopped to lean against a tree, his hand
unconsciously holding his side, Herc decided they'd gone far enough.

"Okay, Iolaus...this looks like a nice spot to stop...we've pushed hard enough for one
day."

Iolaus was pale and felt shaky...his knees had been getting increasingly wobbly and the
burn in his side couldn't be ignored any longer. Herc was right. It was time to stop. He
looked around and nodded his head toward a clearing on the side of the river not far to
their right. Herc followed his look and nodded. He moved to take Iolaus' arm and helped
support him the last few paces, helping him to ease down on a rock in the sun near the
river. Iolaus took a deep breath...grateful to be sitting down. Maybe it had been stupid to
start out today, but he was glad to be out of that sick room, out in the sun and fresh air.

"Rest, Iolaus. I'll gather some wood while you fish for our dinner." Iolaus nodded and
dug a hook and some string out of his pack. Pushing himself up off the rock, he went to
the water's edge and dropped the hook in. Then, he sank down on the bank, resting his
back against a tree. When Herc returned a few minutes later, he found Iolaus fast asleep
in the sun. He stood for long minutes watching Iolaus sleep. Then, he turned, set down
the kindling he'd gathered and prepared a place for the fire, brushing leaves and grass
away from the earth, creating a circle of stones. Finished, he went to sit beside Iolaus,
and when he saw the fishing line begin to tug in his sleeping friend's hand, he gently
disengaged the line and hauled in the fish. Wrapping it in leaves to keep it fresh, he
dropped the line back into the river.

In the quiet of the forest, with only the sounds of the river, the wind in the trees, the call
of birds, the chattering of a squirrel and the soft breathing of his friend, Herc thought
about what had happened...what he'd done. He remembered the horrific pain and how
much Iolaus had wanted to die. He remembered how very small and frail his friend had
felt in the arms of his body. He remembered the feelings of trust...and of love. He
remembered the lessons he'd learned about Death, that it was a release, something to be
welcomed when it was time. He remembered what Thanatos had said...and he hated that
he would do it all again, would make Iolaus suffer any pain, betray all his trust, to keep
this man by his side.

*****

The sun had set and only the flickering of their fire kept the night shadows at bay. They'd
eaten the fish and were sitting quietly by the fire, Iolaus with a blanket around his
shoulders to fend off the chill in the air. He was tired. But, he needed to know what it
was that Hercules wasn't saying. He didn't want to put it off for another day.

Too weary to beat around the bush, Iolaus cleared his throat and said softly, "You left
me."

Hercules looked into the brilliant blue eyes of his friend, saw the hurt and the question,
and nodded slowly. "Yes...Iolaus, I...I don't even know where to start...except to
say...I'm sorry, so very sorry...I hope you'll be able to forgive me."

Iolaus cocked his head, hearing the deep pain in Hercules' voice. "Herc, why don't you
just tell me what happened."

Herc looked away. "It's a long story," he murmured.

Iolaus hitched the blanket up around his shoulders and threw more wood on the fire. "I'm
not going anywhere."

Hercules let out his breath in a long, shuddering sigh. 'I hope that will still be true when
you've heard the story,' he thought.

Nodding to himself, he turned back to Iolaus. "You know Ares had sent those bandits...."
Iolaus nodded. "Well, Ares taunted me that he could do anything he wanted to you...and
he knew I couldn't stop him, not while I didn't have my body." Iolaus nodded again.
"I...I felt so helpless...I didn't know how I could help you," Herc paused, and smiled a
little in memory, "and you just curled up and went to sleep. Gods, Iolaus...how do you do
that?"

Iolaus grinned. "It's not hard, Herc...you just close your eyes and go to sleep."

Hercules shook his head, "You know what I mean."

Iolaus shrugged, "Wasn't anything else I could do...no point in worrying until there's
something to worry about. So, what happened next?"

"Thanatos came."

"Thanatos?" Iolaus almost squeaked. "What did he want?"

Hercules shrugged. "It was pretty weird, actually. He said Hades wanted to be sure that I
knew Ares meant to cause trouble and that neither of them wanted to be bothered coming
for your spirit..."

"Really...why not? Don't they want me on the Other Side?"

Hercules shook his head, "Not if I'm just going to charge in, and cause all sorts of trouble
to get you back!"

Iolaus snorted. "Let me guess...it would screw up their paperwork."

Herc grinned and nodded. "You got it...anyway, Thanatos kept going on about how hard
his job is and how he never gets a holiday..." Iolaus snorted again, a wry expression on
his face, "Well, it's a tough job..."

"Tougher than I realized," Herc murmured.

"What?" Iolaus responded sharply. "What are you talking about?"

Herc sighed...now came the hard parts. "I...I was afraid Ares might really hurt you..."
Iolaus winced, remembering what Ares had done to him. "...and I thought, maybe, I
could...well, get Thanatos to go away...so that he couldn't take you...if...Ares...."

"You got Thanatos to go away? So he couldn't take my soul?" Well, this sounder crazier
than usual.

"Yeah...I took his place so that he could take a holiday."

"Took his place? <i>As Death? That's why you weren't there?" </i> Definitely, much
crazier than Herc's usual stunts.

Hercules nodded. "Iolaus, I knew I couldn't do anything to help you...I'm sorry I left
you...but, I couldn't think of anything else..."

Iolaus carefully kept emotion out of his voice. Herc hated death...it must have been hell
for him. "How long did you play Death, Hercules?"

Herc looked into the fire. "From the time you went to sleep, until you heard me talk to
you in the cell the next evening."

Gods. And there was a war going on in the north...gods. "Herc," Iolaus asked softly,
"How does it work...I mean...how do you know who...when..."

Hercules looked back up at him. "You hear a message, in your head...it tells you who to
go for, why it's Thanatos that's being sent...what they'd done to be a hero...and where to
find them....and then, you just think about the place and you're there."

Iolaus shivered under his blanket. "How...how many, Herc?"

Hercules looked back into the fire. "Hundreds, Iolaus," he whispered, "hundreds."

"Ah, Herc...I'm sorry...I can't imagine how hard..." There was genuine sympathy, and a
shared sense of the pain, in Iolaus' voice. He knew, better than anyone, what this would
have cost Hercules...and he knew Herc had done it for him.

"There were so many, Iolaus," Herc whispered, his voice cracking, "...soldiers...not much
more than boys...dying to save someone else....and, there was this little kid...he'd saved
his sister from drowning, only to drown himself....and, Marcus...you remember Marcus..."

Tears blurred Iolaus' vision...he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would have been
like to do what Hercules had done. He didn't know what to say.

In the silence, Hercules looked up at his friend. "You know, I learned something,
Iolaus...I learned that it's not Death who kills....Death brings release when a soul has too
much to bear...it's the soul who decides when it's time...Death is just there to help, to
make sure no one dies alone...to support and...and welcome the soul to the Other
Side....Hades has a rule...that no soul should have to suffer any more than it is able to
suffer...before it's given relief. It's the only rule made by a god that I ever felt made any
sense."

Iolaus sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "So...so it was hard...but,
you're okay...it won't haunt you too much...?"

Hercules looked with wonder at his friend. Iolaus was still just thinking of him...he
hadn't thought about what had been happening to himself at the same time. Herc nodded,
"Yeah, strangely enough, I am okay with most of it...all but the one soul I left to suffer...."
Herc stopped, unable to continue.

Iolaus didn't know what he meant at first. He looked into Herc's eyes and saw the pain,
the regret...the guilt....and then it hit him. "Me?" was all he said.

Herc nodded and looked away. "I got the first call about you in the morning....I'd been to
the campsite earlier and knew Ares had taken you..." Looking back at Iolaus, he
continued, "I swear, Iolaus...I never dreamed how badly he would hurt you...I knew it
wouldn't be easy....but I never imagined..." his voice broke.

"All day...all day I wondered where you were....why you didn't come..." Iolaus wasn't
sure what to think. Herc had known he needed help...he'd known and not come???

Herc swallowed hard. "After the first call, I wanted to go to you, Iolaus...but, if I went as
Death...I couldn't do anything but maybe the very thing I was trying to make sure didn't
happen...at that point, I still thought Death was the reason people died...made them die...I
couldn't risk it...."

Iolaus nodded once and looked away. "The first time..."

"The second call came late in the day....The...the recorder of souls tore a strip off me for
having 'forgotten' to get you in the morning...he thought I'd just been too rushed by the
war casualties...but...he told me...told me you'd...that you were suffering so badly...that
no hero should have to beg...gods, Iolaus..." Herc put his face into his hands. He
couldn't look at Iolaus...couldn't face what he might see in Iolaus' eyes.

Iolaus stared at Hercules, aghast. Herc knew he'd begged to die. No one should ever
know that about someone else...he felt ashamed. Herc was the last person he'd ever want
to know...to know he'd been ready to give up...had been desperate to give up. 'Ignore it,
Iolaus, pretend it didn't happen, ignore it.' he said to himself to shut off the shame he felt.
"Is that when you came to get me?" was all he could ask.

Hercules rubbed his face, pulled his hands away and rested them on his bent knees.
"No," he murmured, "no...." Hercules forced his eyes back up to Iolaus' and didn't
understand when Iolaus looked away. He thought it was because Iolaus couldn't stand to
look at him.

"Iolaus, please understand," he begged, "I was afraid...if...if I stopped answering calls to
pick up souls, Hades would realize something was going on...he would have gone for you
himself...I was still a spirit...I didn't think there was anything I could do to help you...and
I knew you couldn't die if Death didn't come for you...."

Iolaus took a deep breath, remembering what it had been like to hang there, remembering
the hideous pain...remembering the feeling of having been abandoned....remembering
how much he'd wanted to die. Herc knew he'd been begging for release...and he still
didn't come. Iolaus looked back at his friend...the pain and confusion evident on his
face....

Hercules forced himself to go on. "It was after I'd escorted Marcus to the Other Side...the
third call came. I...I knew that I couldn't delay any longer...it was still hours before
Thanatos was due back, but...I needed to get to you. I...realized that if Timeron would
bring my body to the temple, I could go to you immediately. So...I told him what to do
and...I went to the cell...and I saw....gods, Iolaus, I'm sorry...I'm sorry." Herc was
unaware of the tears on his face. He sought Iolaus' eyes, hoping to find understanding...
but, Iolaus' eyes were blank...he was lost in his own memories.

"That's when I heard you...I couldn't understand why you left me hanging there...I didn't
realize you were still a spirit..." Iolaus looked up at Hercules then, not sure what to think,
not sure what to feel. "It was all so confusing, Herc...I couldn't think straight anymore...I
thought I was probably just imagining that you were there....I wanted you to tell me it was
okay to let go...but you wouldn't...and you wouldn't help me...I thought I was going
mad."

Hercules rubbed his hands across his face, brushing away the tears. "I know...I've never
felt so useless in my life...I almost...I almost played Death for you....but, I just couldn't..."
he murmured.

Iolaus thought back, trying to capture the shards of his memory...trying to make sense of
the images and impressions in his mind. "There was someone else there...someone...
Thanatos? He came for me, didn't he?" Herc looked away, nodded, as Iolaus murmured,
"I was ready to go...I was sorry...I knew it would hurt you...but I couldn't hold on any
longer...it was too hard....Hercules, why didn't I die?"

Hercules took a deep breath. "I wouldn't let him take you....Thanatos was...angry.
He...couldn't believe I could let you keep suffering like that....he realized that I was
denying you release for my sake...for my sake, Iolaus...not your's....He said I was as
ruthless as any god...more cruel than most because...because they 'don't pretend to
care about the mortals they torture.' "

Iolaus winced. "Herc...you didn't torture me...Ares did."

Hercules shook his head. "No, Thanatos was right...Ares might have been the cause...but
I was the one who left you hanging in torment for all those hours, Iolaus. I was the one
who wouldn't let you go...wouldn't allow you peace."

Iolaus rubbed his hands over his eyes, pushed them through his hair. He didn't want to
argue this...he didn't want to think about it...think about those hours. Trying to move the
discussion forward, he asked, "How could you keep Thanatos from taking me...especially
when I wanted to go?"

Gods...how could he tell Iolaus this? Herc pushed his hand through his hair, dragging it
back from his face. He looked at the trees, up into the sky, at the fire.... "Hercules? What
happened? Please...I have to know..."

"I wouldn't let you go....I couldn't....I...." Herc pulled his knees up, crossed his arms,
hugging his body. He wouldn't look at Iolaus...and Iolaus could see he was shaking.

"Hercules...what happened...what did you do?"

Herc forced himself to look up, into Iolaus' eyes. "I...my spirit...entered your body...I
forced you to keep breathing...I forced your heart to keep beating....I fought you...I
wouldn't let you go...."

Iolaus stared at him, shocked...cold. He started to shake, and he felt the pain again...felt
the desperation...the despair. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled toward the river
where he stood, panting...feeling sick. Herc had been <i>inside </i> him. Had taken
away his right to choose....His eyes blurred with tears.

Hercules whispered as he walked away, "Iolaus?"

"I..." Iolaus took a steadying breath, "I felt you take the manacles off...carry me to the
Healer...."

"No, that was Timeron...."

" Timeron? You were...you were still inside...oh gods...Hercules...could you feel
what...oh gods...." Iolaus' voice was strained...barely above a whisper.

Hercules forced himself to his feet and went to stand close behind Iolaus. He could see
his friend stiffen as he came close, so he stopped himself from reaching out to touch him.

Keeping a tight rein on his voice, speaking low, Hercules finished the story. "I...could
feel...everything you felt. I could...hear what you were thinking." He saw a shudder pass
through Iolaus' body. "I know how much pain you were in...how much you wanted to let
go....I know you just kept hanging on...for me...I could feel your relief when you thought
I'd arrived and freed you from the chains..."

Iolaus groaned...he didn't know what to say...what to think. He couldn't look at Hercules
...he felt like everything he was had been laid bare...all his weakness, his helplessness,
hopelessness. "You were inside when he carried me..." he whispered. Hercules
murmured back, "Yes."

Iolaus fought to control the shaking of his body...the sob he felt rising in his chest. Herc
knew how small he felt...he'd never wanted Herc to know that...like a child being carried.
He crossed his arms, holding himself, holding his emotions in. How could Herc ever see
him as an equal again? No wonder he hadn't wanted to tell him. Herc had felt the fear,
the frailty....knew he'd given up....knew he was weak. Taking a deep breath, he asked the
last question. "When did you leave...?"

"When Thanatos came back at midnight...I had to go back into my own body then...let
Timeron go back to the Other Side."

Hours...he'd been inside Iolaus for hours...he'd felt the Healer's work...the scream Iolaus
had choked back so that Herc and Meridan wouldn't know how bad it was...how much it
hurt. But, Herc knew everything....Iolaus shook his head, blocking it out. Herc
tentatively touched Iolaus on the shoulder, but Iolaus shrugged him off. Clutching the
blanket around his shoulders, he turned away from Hercules, went back to the fire and
laid down.

"Iolaus?"

"Please, Herc...just...just leave me alone...okay? I need...to think about this." When
Hercules went back to the fire, Iolaus rolled away, turning his back. He didn't say
anything more that night.

Hercules stared down at his friend...this man who meant everything to him...who kept
him grounded...sane. Would Iolaus ever be able to forgive him? For the pain...the
violation? Would Iolaus ever trust him again?

It was a long time before either man slept that night.

*****

Iolaus woke in the cold light of dawn, stiff from sleeping on the ground. He winced
against the continuing dull pain in his side. It didn't burn anymore...but it was still
continuous. Iolaus shut it away...the pain wasn't important. Laying huddled under his
blanket, he thought again about the story Hercules had told him last night....He had to
deal with this...had to find out if Herc could ever think of him as an equal again...
someone strong who could be relied upon, no matter what. If he couldn't...gods, if he
couldn't, what then? Iolaus felt his chest tighten at the thought of not sharing his life with
Hercules...what would he do? Where would he go? Hercules was his life...his reason for
being. He defined himself as the man who watched Herc's back...he didn't have any
other identity in his own mind. He sighed deeply, stretched his aching muscles and
pushed himself up to face the day.

Herc was still sleeping, so Iolaus gathered some wood to build up the fire and then set out
into the forest to find the berries and fruit Herc preferred for breakfast...and to look for a
rabbit for himself. When Hercules awoke, he was alarmed to find himself alone. He
looked toward the river and around the small clearing. Iolaus' stuff was still there, so he
hadn't left...where was he?

"Iolaus?" Herc called, "Iolaus, where are you?"

The familiar voice sounded behind him, from the forest. "I'm right here, Herc," Iolaus
said as he reentered the clearing, carrying some apples in his arm, a handful of
berries...and a small rabbit in his other hand. He grunted a little as he knelt to put the
rabbit down and to hand the fruit to Hercules. "Here...thought you might be hungry," he
said carefully, eyes down.

Herc took the offering, not sure what it meant...if it meant anything. Why wouldn't
Iolaus look at him? There was a strained silence as Iolaus set about preparing the rabbit
for the fire. When he'd put the spitted pieces of meat into the flames, he sat back and
sighed. "I guess we have to talk some more," he said as he looked tentatively up at
Hercules.

"Iolaus, I..." Herc began.

"No," interrupted Iolaus, "let me start. I thought about everything you told me last night
and, first, I want to thank you for..."

"What?" Hercules interjected... 'thank him?'

Iolaus held up his hand. "Please, let me have my say...please. Like I said, I want to
thank you for what you did to save my life. I know it must have been...hell...for you to
have played Death...to have not been able to help all of those people, except to die. I
can't believe you'd go through that for me....and to stand between me and Thanatos...to
have...shared the pain...I wouldn't have lived if you...hadn't given me your strength...so,
thank you."

Iolaus swallowed, knowing he'd have to go on. Looking up at Hercules, he continued,
"I'm just sorry...that you had to see how weak...see that I had given up. I'm sorry,
Herc...I wish I could have stayed strong...but, well..." he shrugged and looked away. "I
just hope that...that you'll be able to forget it and...and still be able to see me as...well, as
an equal...someone you can still depend on when the going gets tough...." Looking down
at the fire, his shoulders slumped, he whispered, hardly able to say the words, "...but, I
guess I'll understand it...if you can't." He didn't dare look back up at his friend. He was
too afraid of what he might see in those eyes...pity? regret?

Hercules looked at Iolaus, absolutely dumbfounded at what Iolaus had just said...he was
afraid that Hercules wouldn't forgive him? This was so far from what he had
been expecting, from what he had feared, that he felt dizzy. Iolaus, misunderstanding the
silence, couldn't stand it, thought that it meant that Herc didn't know how to tell him that
it was all different now...that what they'd had was gone. He stumbled to his feet and
started toward the river. Hercules leapt up after him and grabbed his arm, pulling him
around.

"Iolaus, you're so wrong...I never saw you as weak...never through all of that. I
couldn't believe your strength...I still can't. I have never, in my life, known the pain that
you endured...no man could endure that without wanting it to end...no man should ever
have to."

Iolaus looked up then...did Hercules mean it? "But, when Timeron was carrying
me...us...you must have noticed..." he forced himself to say it "...how small...
how helplessI am, compared to you..."

Herc gripped Iolaus by both shoulders, looking him steadily in the eye, "Yes, I saw the
difference...and I understand now why you hate being carried...but, Iolaus, seeing the
difference, from your perspective, only made me even more aware of how incredible you
are...more than I'd ever appreciated...your courage and skill, your strength, your
energy...have always made me blind to...to any difference. And now, I only respect you
more...how could you imagine I'd ever think you weak...or that I wouldn't want you
beside me? My equal? Gods, Iolaus...you're better than I am...in every way....."

Iolaus allowed himself a tremulous smile. "But, Herc, if that's true...why was it so hard
for you to tell me what happened?"

Hercules gripped Iolaus' shoulders harder for a moment, then let his arms fall to his sides.
He looked up and over Iolaus' head, out toward the river, sparkling in the early morning
sun. "I felt how much you trust me...Iolaus...I don't deserve that trust. I...Iolaus...I was
afraid you'd hate me...despise me...that you'd never be able to trust me again."

Iolaus was mystified. "Why would you ever think that?"

Hercules looked back down at this incredible man. Holding his voice steady, he said
softly, "Iolaus, I wasn't there for you when Ares came...I left you hanging in torment for a
whole day...I...I invaded your body and denied your own right to choose life or
death....and I did it all because I couldn't stand to lose you...I did it all more for myself
than for you...I was stupid, and arrogant...and selfish...how can you not despise me?"

Iolaus stared at Hercules for a moment, thinking 'Love can cause such pain'. Then, his
gaze earnest, his voice gentle, Iolaus responded, "Stupid? Arrogant? Selfish?
Maybe...but, Herc, it's only human to want to hold onto those you love...how can I fault
you for that? In your place, Hercules, what makes you think I wouldn't have done exactly
the same thing? That I wouldn't do anything... anything...to keep you alive. Herc, don't
you know yet? There's nothing you could ever do to make me hate you...nothing." He
could see that Herc still didn't get it...couldn't really believe him.

Iolaus reached out to clasp his friend's arm as he sought the words to explain. Gods, it
was hard to say this stuff... "Herc, when someone is your whole life...when you love them
that much...you'll break any rule, you'll do things that cause you shame...because the pain
of losing them is too much...too inconceivable...love makes fools of everyone, Herc..."
Iolaus looked up into Herc's eyes, said with a kind of awe, "I just never, ever imagined
anyone could love me that much...how could I hate you for that?"

Herc's eyes blurred with tears...he'd hoped for forgiveness...he had not expected
understanding and acceptance. He reached out and pulled Iolaus toward him, hugging
him tightly. In that moment, Iolaus remembered... "Herc...when Timeron was carrying
us...there was a moment in time...when I felt suffused with warmth, and light...and
love...it was so strong, so complete...the pain wasn't there anymore...I think that's the
moment that saved my life," he whispered. Herc remembered that moment, too, and,
holding his friend more tightly, Herc shivered and wondered if this was it, if this was
finally the time, to share the depth of his feeling for this man in his arms.

Iolaus felt the strength of the arms that tightened around him, and the tension that had
suddenly gripped his friend. "Hercules," he asked, pulling back to look up at his friend,
"is there something wrong?" There was a strange, haunted look in Herc's eyes...a wistful
longing that Iolaus had caught there on rare occasions when Herc was most afraid for
him...or when they were first seeing one another after a separation.

Herc continued to hold the gaze of his friend...then gradually released him. "I...no,
nothing wrong...but, there's something I want to tell you...something that I probably
should have told you long ago." Herc had just moved a step forward and to the side,
taking Iolaus with him back toward the fire, when a bolt of lightning hit the trees where
they had been standing. Hercules immediately shoved Iolaus down and behind him as he
turned to face Ares.

"Well, isn't this just the most heartwarming sight I've ever seen...two heroes confiding
how much they love each other...but, I have to say, the two of you have a unique way of
'getting into' one another." Ares' tone of lazy sarcasm belied his mood...he stood on the
other side of the clearing, his stance signalling his intent to let loose another blast of fire.

"Ares," growled Hercules, "I warned you...."

"Yeah, well, I don't take threats well, little brother...certainly not threats over the life of a
puny, insignificant little mortal." He raised his hand to throw another bolt, when,
suddenly, between Ares and the two heroes, three others arrived unexpectedly in their
midst. Hades stood facing Ares, Thanatos behind one shoulder, and Celesta behind the
other.

"That's enough, Ares...give it up. The game is over, for now." Hades spoke in his usual
measured tone of weary authority. Ares was clearly startled to see his uncle...surprised
that he would intervene.

"This is none of your affair, Hades...this is between me and my brother." Ares curled his
lip on the last word as he looked beyond Hades to Hercules, who had his arm out to the
side, signalling Iolaus to stay behind him. Iolaus complied, but his stance indicated his
readiness to fight, if need be.

"You're wrong, Ares, this is my affair....you can do what you want to any mortal who
takes your fancy on your time...but not on mine. Hercules and I had a deal...and you tried
to take advantage of it...that means you tried to take advantage of me. I don't allow that
from anyone, Ares...certainly not from you. Hercules handled the situation, so I didn't
interfere at the time...but, you won't let it go...and I've decided it's enough." Scorn
dripped from Hades voice as he looked at Ares with ill concealed contempt. "Go away,
Ares...this round is over."

Ares hesitated a moment, hating to back down...but, he didn't want to fight Hades over
something as inconsequential as a petty victory over a useless mortal. His anger reigned
in, at least for now, he glared at Hercules. "Another time...another place...." he promised.

"Anytime, Ares..." Hercules snarled back.

Ares nodded once and disappeared in a flash of smoke. Hades turned, his black cape
swirling in the light morning wind as he walked toward the heroes.

"Hercules...Iolaus...good to see you looking better..."

Hercules started to thank Hades for his intervention, but Hades just waved his words
aside. "Ares was wrong, and he knew it....and, since I didn't challenge him...directly...at
the time, he can't prove I did anything to stop him then...so I had every right to stop him
now."

Hercules considered the words as he stared at Hades, then looked past him to Thanatos
and Celesta. "You knew," he murmured, "you knew what I was doing...you set it
up...sending Thanatos to me...."

Hades smiled dryly, "You don't think much of me, do you, Hercules...imagining that
Thanatos and Celesta could be so disloyal to me as to not tell me what you were doing...I
thought you might have learned more during your interlude as Death...but, no matter.
Just remember, if you ever try something like that again, don't let it go on so long...such
behaviour on the part of Death, leaving any mortal to suffer that way, is unacceptable. To
do such a thing to someone who means what Iolaus means to you is inexcusable." With
that, Hades and his followers disappeared.

Herc stared at the empty space they had left, stunned by the revelation. Hades had
known...had given him the opportunity to save Iolaus...why? To spite Ares? To avoid
more administrative foul ups? Perhaps. But, Herc hadlearned more during those
hours as Hades' messenger of Death...he had learned that Hades, in his own way,
probably cared more about mortals than any of the other gods...certainly, Hades was the
only one to take action to end their suffering, rather than to cause it.

"Whoaa!" Iolaus murmured, "Hades knew what you were doing...and let you get away
with it...to spite Ares?" Herc just nodded, still too surprised himself to comment. Iolaus
shook his head in wonder that the God of the Underworld could be so sneaky. Then, he
remembered Ares' words. "Herc? What did Ares mean...that he doesn't take threats
well?"

Hercules cocked his head at the strained sound in his friend's voice and then turned to
face Iolaus. For a moment, thinking back to the conversation he'd had with Ares in the
cell where he'd tortured Iolaus, Herc's face became as hard, his eyes as cold and empty,
as they had been that morning in the cell...the ice of his anger still echoed in his words.

"I told him what I'd do if he ever hurt you like that again." Then, as his eyes focused on
his partner, Herc could see Iolaus was as pale as parchment, his left hand was pressing
unconsiously against his body, pressing against the pain. His breathing was shallow and
his eyes were glazed. He looked like he was on the edge of collapse. Hastily, Herc put
an arm around his friend's shoulder and manoevred him to sit on a nearby boulder, then
knelt beside him, to be able to see his face.

Iolaus shivered involuntarily...he'd seen Hercules hot with anger, but never like
this...remote...cold...a god of vengeance. The frozen look in his eyes had held no
humanity...they reminded Iolaus of Ares' eyes, when he stared into his own, when he'd
slammed the knife...Iolaus felt it all again...felt the burn, the betrayal...recalled the hate
and the cruelty in the eyes that hungered to see him die. Was this what his death would
do to Hercules? Turn him into something inhuman?

"Iolaus? Iolaus, what's wrong?" Hercules' voice was tense with anxiety, his eyes filled
with the warmth of his concern. Gradually, Iolaus focused back on those eyes, felt the
chill leave his body. He took a long shuddering sigh. "Iolaus...talk to me."

"Herc, you...can't...." Iolaus stammered to a stop.

"What? What can't I do?" Hercules was worried...Iolaus' skin had gone cold,
clammy...and it was clear that he was still in considerable pain.

Iolaus took a breath and marshalled his thoughts...they were all jumbled, mixing up the
feelings he'd had when Ares appeared in the clearing, to those evoked by that cold and
cruel look in Herc's eyes. Looking at Hercules, Iolaus could see his alarm.

"It's alright, Herc, I'm...alright," Iolaus began, "it was just that, when I saw Ares....it
brought it all back....how much he'd enjoyed watching...." In memory, Ares again
slammed the knife into him...twisted it. Iolaus let out an involuntary and unconscious
moan, the pain again radiating from the wound.

Herc didn't know what to do... "Iolaus, maybe you should lie down...."

Iolaus swallowed and shook his head, brought himself back to the present. "I'm sorry,"
he murmured, "it was just that Ares held my face so that he could stare into my eyes as he
killed me with my own knife...which meant that I...could see into him, too." Iolaus
looked up at Hercules. "There was no humanity in those eyes, Herc...just a kind of
madness...a cold enjoyment of pain....I just saw a look like that in your eyes...when you
talked about what you'd do to Ares...."

Herc winced and looked away. "Ares didn't believe me, thought I was making empty
threats...but, I told him that...that you anchor me to my humanity...that without you, all I
have left is rage..."

Iolaus reached out and put a hand on Hercules' shoulder. "Herc, look at me," he said,
drawing back his partner's eyes. "You can't let that happen...ever. Don't you understand
...if you turn away from what makes you human...your decency and compassion, your
sense of right and wrong, of justice...your respect for life...if you lose all of that...then,
Ares wins...Hera wins...."

"Iolaus, I..."

"No, wait, let me finish," Iolaus bit his lip, swallowed, "...you can't ever let my death
mean their victory...please, Herc...promise me you won't let my death turn you into
them...I can't stand thinking that our friendship, what we mean to one another...would
destroy you...." Iolaus' eyes blurred and he looked away.

Herc stared at Iolaus, overwhelmed by his friend's fear for his soul. Gods, he loved this
man. He didn't know what to say, so he leaned forward to hug Iolaus tightly. He heard
Iolaus murmur again, "Promise me...."

Herc wasn't sure he could make such a promise...he believed that Iolaus' death would
destroy him...Iolaus had never understood how much he meant to Hercules...how much
his presence shaped Herc, made him who he was. Hercules held him tightly, not wanting
to think about that cold, empty future day when Iolaus would no longer be there for him.
But, he couldn't let Iolaus worry about that...he worried about enough things, carried
enough grief.

"Alright, Iolaus...I promise, whatever happens, to do what I think is right." He felt Iolaus
shake his head against his shoulder.

"No, Hercules...that's the wrong answer...you have to do what we would think
was right...," Iolaus gave a wry laugh, "individually, we often get things wrong...but,
together...together we seem to figure out the right thing most every time."

Herc sighed. Iolaus was not going to let him get away with falling apart...even after he
was gone. Putting his hands on Iolaus' shoulders, Herc pushed himself back so that he
could look into Iolaus' eyes. "Iolaus, I don't know if I can promise to find the right path
without you....but...I promise I'll never do anything that I think would have made you
ashamed of me...or that betrays what we've always stood for."

Iolaus searched Herc's eyes and then smiled. "That'll do, Herc...thanks." There it was
again, that look of longing...before Hercules veiled it and looked away. "Hercules, before
Ares arrived...you were about to tell me something..."

Hercules did not look back at Iolaus for a long moment. When he did bring his eyes
back, he saw that Iolaus' face was pale and tight with pain...his friend was once again
unconsciously holding his side. Herc gently brushed Iolaus' hair back from his face,
lightly touched his face. "I don't know, Iolaus...you're tired and in pain...and you still
seem to have a touch of fever....I don't know if this is the time...."

Iolaus was mystified. "Time for what, Herc?" When Hercules did not respond
immediately, Iolaus knew that this was something important...something Herc wasn't
sure he wanted to say. All the signs were there...the hesitation, the difficulty Herc had
holding his eyes, the closed look on his face. "Come on, Herc...talk to me," Iolaus
cajoled softly.

But Hercules just shook his head. "Not right now, Iolaus...later. Right now, you need to
rest, my friend...it's all too plain that you need time to sit quietly by the river, fishing in
the sun." Hercules smiled gently at Iolaus, his eyes full of concern. "Do you want
anything for the pain?"

Iolaus didn't really want to give up...something was really bothering Hercules. But, he
could see that Herc wouldn't be pushed. Sighing, he shook his head, "No, Herc...I'm
alright." Iolaus groaned softly as he stood, belying his words. "Fishing sounds
good...especially," he sniffed, "as I can smell that my rabbit has burned to a crisp!"
Iolaus made a face as he looked toward the fire and the breakfast he had forgotten in the
flames.

Hercules couldn't help it...the plaintive note in the voice, and the tragic look on his
buddy's face, was too much. He laughed...Iolaus feigned outrage...then hurt...but
couldn't keep the grin off his own face for long. He'd done it again....managed to distract
Hercules from painful preoccupations, managed to make him laugh.

When Herc caught his breath, he said, "Sorry, Iolaus...would you care for an apple?"

Iolaus grimaced...fruit for breakfast was never his preference. "Uh, yeah...I guess," Iolaus
said without much enthusiasm, "but..." he continued, his eyes twinkling, "I'd rather if you
went out and caught me another rabbit...."

Herc shook his head, "Sorry, hunting down defenceless little bunnies is your job....but,
I'll help you catch a fish..."

"Deal!" Iolaus exclaimed as he moved to the fire and caught up his pack. Herc watched
as he rummaged for the hooks and twine. Chuckling as he clapped a gentle hand on
Iolaus' shoulder, he watched as his friend's face was illuminated by a shaft of light
through the trees. Hercules felt grateful to have such an amazing man by his side...a quiet
happiness that, for today at least, for now....neither of them were ghosts....But, he knew
he would have to gather together the remnants of his courage and talk to Iolaus...later.

*****

They spent a quiet, peaceful day. Iolaus dozed again in the sun and, when he woke, he
accepted with reluctance the herbal tea Hercules insisted he drink. Herc had brewed a
bitter concoction that would both ease his friend's pain and fight off any lingering fever
he thought he had detected earlier. Iolaus found himself wondering what it was that
Hercules wasn't telling him. He tried to raise the subject a couple of times during the
day, but Herc would only say, "Later, Iolaus...later."

Hercules spent the day considering how to broach a subject he had spent so many years
avoiding. Stealing an occasional look at his friend, he wondered if he should just let it
go...if it would be better to keep it to himself. He could face the most monstrous
creatures that Hera could create...the most cruel and demented warlords...but he wasn't
sure he was really ready to face this.

Finally, just after the sun had set, when the shadows had lengthened into the deep dusk of
twilight edging into night, and the flickering of the fire held the coolness of the evening at
bay, Iolaus decided he had waited long enough. Hercules had hardly said a word all
day...and, Iolaus knew from long experience, that, whatever it was that was bothering
him, Hercules would need to let it go, talk it through, before the tension would leave him.
"Okay, Herc...it's later," Iolaus said in a tone that brooked no further delays. "What is it
that's been bothering you all day....talk to me."

They had been sitting on opposite sides of the fire. Hercules resisted a moment more,
then, taking his blanket, he stood and moved around the flames to stand beside Iolaus. As
uncertain as the light was from the fire, Hercules wanted to move more into the shadows.
"Okay, Iolaus...but, it might take a while. Come sit on the rock...." Hercules took the
hand Iolaus held out and helped his friend to his feet. Getting Iolaus settled on the rock,
the blanket over his shoulders, Hercules sat at his feet, arms crossed over his raised knees,
where he could look up and see Iolaus' face in the light cast by the flames.

Swallowing against the dryness in his throat, Hercules took a breath and began.
"Iolaus...I wasn't sure I'd ever tell you this...I'm not really sure I should tell you now.
But, after all that I've done...leaving you to suffer in Ares' temple, invading your
body...denying you the right to choose life or death...I...I think I owe you the complete
truth." Iolaus looked down at Hercules, wishing his friend's face was not obscured by
shadows. What was Hercules getting at? What truth?

Hercules looked up into Iolaus' eyes, "Iolaus, once I start...please don't say anything until
I'm finished....and then, well, then you don't have to say anything at all if you don't want
to...and we never have to discuss it again." Hercules stared at his hands clasped on his
knees and bit his lip. Finally, he began, his voice little more than a whisper.

"Iolaus, I've never been able to make you understand how much you have always meant
to me...ever since we were kids. Before I met you, I felt like a freak...my own brother
wouldn't live with us because my father was a god...Alcmene's parents wanted nothing to
do with us. Most people didn't know who had fathered me...they just knew that I'd been
born long after Amphitrion had left for war. Most of the parents didn't want their kids
playing with me...and sometimes, not knowing my own strength, I'd do things that, well,
made everyone around me uncomfortable...nervous." Hercules looked up at Iolaus.
"Everyone but you. Iolaus, you were the first person in my life who wanted to be my
friend...who didn't care who my dad was...you liked me...and you helped me start to like
myself."

"Herc," Iolaus started, only to have Hercules raise a hand, cutting off his comment.

"Please, Iolaus...just listen." Hercules took a deep breath and then continued. "Later,
when we were at the Academy, I hated how the others treated you. They didn't know
what your life had been like...they didn't know that everything you stole you either gave
to your mother to feed your sisters, or to the widows and orphans in Thebes...women who
didn't have husbands to care for them, children who didn't have fathers to provide for
them....None of the cadets knew what you were like inside...brave...loyal...selfless. What
hurt most, though, was that you didn't seem to think much of yourself....You had been
hurt so bad by your father that you didn't believe you had any worth...or that anyone
could ever really care about you. I wanted to beat your father senseless for doing that to
you...for everything he'd done to you all your life. I loved you so much, Iolaus...it hurt
knowing that you didn't feel you deserved to be loved."

Herc smiled softly up at his friend. "You were like a skittish colt...never wanting anyone
to get too close in case they'd hurt you, too...and not trusting them to care about you once
they got to know you better...you never seemed to notice that anyone who got to know
you would do anything for you." Herc looked off toward the fire. "I think it was when
your uncle accidently shot you, believing you were a deer, that I first realized how deeply
I felt about you...how lost I would be without you in my life. If the hind hadn't saved
you, you would have died that day. It scared me...almost losing you... realizing how
much I needed you."

Iolaus had shifted, finding it difficult to stay silent. Hercules, realizing his friend was
again about to speak, raised a hand and placed it on Iolaus' leg, just above his knee, to
settle him. "Please, Iolaus...I said this might take a while...please, try to just listen."
Iolaus pulled the blanket up around his shoulders and nodded, waiting for the rest of the
story.

"And, then, I almost killed you myself, when we were fighting the Snow Bear..."

Iolaus couldn't stand it...he never allowed Hercules to get away with that memory.
"Hercules, that was an accident and you know it! You saved my life that day..."

Hercules just nodded...he wasn't going to get into that old argument. "I held you for
hours, afraid that you were going to die...and, then, later, when you trusted me with your
life when we went down that mountain, me blind and you hardly able to even stand up on
your own...I promised myself that I would never let you down...that I would die before I'd
let anything or anyone hurt you again....but, I failed time and time again to keep that vow,
didn't I?"

When Iolaus started to respond, Hercules just gripped his leg, letting Iolaus know that it
was still not time for him to talk. "Whenever I travelled without you, I felt lost, as if part
of me was missing. The years that you were gone to the east seemed endless...there
wasn't a day that went by that I didn't watch the road, hoping to see you come
home...hoping to see your face, your smile...hear you laugh....not a day when I wasn't
terrified that something might have happened to you...that I might never see you again.
Mother knew...I think she understood me better then than I even understood myself...and
she kept assuring me that you would return...that you had promised....Iolaus, you always
keep your promises."

Hercules lifted his hand from Iolaus' leg and clasped his hands again on his knees.
"When we fought the Amazons, and you died in my arms, I...I wanted to die myself. I
begged Zeus to turn back time so that I could have you back. Then, it was the SheDemon
..." Hercules gazed back up at Iolaus, "Iolaus, you know how much I love Deianeira and
my children...how it almost drove me mad to lose them....You've never known that you
mean more to me than even they do...it took me a long time to admit that to myself...and
to understand what that meant. Somewhere along the way, you stopped being someone
who was just a part of my life, to become the person who gave my life shape and
purpose...you became the other half of my soul...no one has ever been closer to me than
you are."

"It was the day that you were killed by the Fire Enforcer...I had been walking along the
shore with Mother and Jason...and she was asking if I'd ever find someone to love
again...and I'd said that I didn't know...and, you stumbled over the rise, crying my name
as you fell....I felt as if time was standing still...when I pulled you into my arms and
saw...saw what she had done to you, I felt as if something was squeezing me inside,
making it hard to breathe....when you died..." Herc's voice broke and he had to swallow
to regain control, "I was shattered...I couldn't lose you...I couldn't....after I'd defeated the
Enforcer and returned to the Other Side...when I didn't see you immediately...I thought I
had been too late...that I had lost you...I'd never felt so scared...so desperate...I knew then,
I knew....but, I didn't know how to tell you...or even if I should. I was afraid....and so, I
just held it all inside."

Hercules pushed his hands through his hair and then crossed his arms. He stole a look up
at Iolaus, trying to determine what Iolaus was thinking...feeling about what he'd heard so
far...if he understood. But, Iolaus wasn't giving anything away...there was a thoughtful
look on his face, a question in his eyes...yes, perhaps, he was beginning to understand...
but wasn't sure...Herc would have to finish the story. Hercules couldn't hold the clear,
brilliant eyes of his friend...he had to look back at the fire.

"And, then, three weeks ago...in the cell, when Thanatos came for you....I knew I was
really going to lose you this time...and, after what I'd pulled, I knew Hades would never
let me have you back...I was wild....I wanted, needed, to hold onto you...I don't know
how it happened, but that's when my spirit merged with your's....Gods, Iolaus," Herc
whispered, "I'll never forget what that felt like...you were in so much agony...and you'd
been holding on, waiting for me...wondering why I wasn't helping you...why I wouldn't
let you go....When you thought I had finally freed you from the chains, when you thought
I had picked you up and was carrying you....Iolaus, the trust and faith you felt for me, the
unconditional love you felt...." again, Herc's voice cracked and he had to pause before he
could continue. "...I didn't know if I could hold onto you...if I was going to lose you...I
had to let you feel what I felt for you...what I feel for you...that's the moment you
remembered this morning."

Herc took a deep breath...this was it. "Iolaus, all of our lives, we have been best friends.
I would do anything for you...anything. You have never understood that you have
possession of my soul...that you are what makes me who I am, that you are the source of
my strength and...that it is in trying to live up to the example you set...your courage and
compassion and generosity of spirit...to be worthy of your friendship, that I have become
the man I am. It would tear me apart to lose you to illness or accident...but, to lose you to
some act of malice would be devastating....I am afraid, really afraid, that I might lose my
mind...become something you would despise....I know I would not hesitate to destroy
whatever or whoever took you from me...I'm sorry, Iolaus, but...my promise to you this
morning was a lie...I don't think I can keep it."

Hercules looked up into the eyes of his friend and saw the sorrow there...the grief that
their friendship would exact such a terrible price. "Don't Iolaus...don't look at me like
that...please...I don't want this to hurt you...I just want you to understand..." Herc dropped
his head, unable to continue to meet his partner's eyes, "...the lives we live...you could be
gone...without ever knowing, without me ever telling you...how much you mean to
me....We've long called each other brother, Iolaus...but what I feel for you is not
brotherly...nor is it platonic...don't misunderstand...I'm not asking anything of you...it's
just that..that I want you to know..." his voice dropping to a murmur, Hercules finished, "I
love you, Iolaus...with everything that I am, with all of my soul...without you, I am
nothing."

The wind whispered through the trees, the water in the river lapped softly against the
shore as it murmured over the rocks...there was the distant hoot of a hunting owl...and the
flicker of firelight as the silence stretched between them. A soft shudder trembled
through Hercules' body...perhaps this had been a mistake after all...but, he hadn't been
able to keep the depth of his love a secret any longer. He trusted Iolaus not to despise
him...had even dared to hope that maybe...but, Iolaus had never shown any interest in
other men...no more than had Hercules, for that matter. What he felt for Iolaus went
beyond gender, beyond any definition of morality...it was the pure, blazing, blinding love
of one being for another that consumed him. Iolaus was the other half of his soul...having
merged with him...having infused Iolaus' spirit with his love, he could no longer remain
silent...no longer pretend or deny what he felt. It didn't matter if Iolaus did not feel the
same...it didn't change the fact that Hercules would love Iolaus for all eternity. There
would never, could never, be anyone else in his life...in his heart...who would ever mean
what this man meant to him.

Hercules was about to turn away when he felt Iolaus stand beside him, lay a gentle hand
on his head, and then on his shoulder for support, as Iolaus knelt beside him. Herc could
not find the courage to look up, to seek his partner's eyes so he kept his head lowered,
kept his arms crossed tight against his chest. He felt Iolaus' hand brush his hair back and
then softly cup the side of his face.

"Hercules," Iolaus murmured, "look at me." Hercules hesitated a moment more, then,
taking a deep breath, he looked up into his partner's clear eyes and marvelled at what he
saw there. Iolaus' thumb gently brushed Herc's lips as he brought his other hand up so
that Herc's face was captured in his hands...as his eyes were captured by the depth of
emotion he saw revealed in Iolaus' eyes.

A ghost of a smile playing across his lips, Iolaus whispered, "Hercules, you were inside
of my soul...you said that you had felt everything that I felt...you must know that what you
feel for me only echoes the love I have always felt for you...you must have known
then...I'd gladly die for you, Herc...but, I would rather live for you...."

Holding Herc's eyes with his own, each gazing into the other's soul, sharing a sense of
wonder at what they found there...Iolaus held his breath as he angled closer to lean toward
Hercules, to brush Herc's lips with his own. Herc's eyes widened, and he trembled
slightly, feeling an exquisite tremor of warmth and excitement deep inside, felt his heart
skip a beat, at this gentlest of caresses. Iolaus felt the trembling and saw the amazement,
the joy that leapt into his partner's eyes...as Herc's lips parted in a sigh, Iolaus leaned in
again to capture the lips with his own, in a kiss that deepened as he cupped one hand
behind Herc's head, his fingers tangled in the long, silky hair, to hold him close, while his
other hand gripped Herc's shoulder.

Hercules uncrossed his arms, slipped his hands under Iolaus' vest and encircled him,
drawing him in, holding him tight against his chest with one arm while the fingers of the
other gently caressed his partner's back, tracing the line of his spine, resting for a moment
on his hip before moving to slide over Iolaus' ass, cupping him, pressing him closer.
Herc felt Iolaus' tongue caress his own and a low moan filled the back of his throat as
Iolaus teased Herc's tongue into Iolaus' mouth, where Iolaus sucked on it while his
tongue circled and danced around Herc's. Pulling his lips away, Hercules gazed deeply
for a moment into Iolaus' eyes, marvelling at what he saw there...the aching love, and
longing...and the shadow of uncertainty....Herc understood, and, taking the lead, he
moved his lips down along Iolaus' jaw, nuzzled his neck and then continued on, to kiss
the hollow in Iolaus' throat.

Iolaus lifted his head back and arched his body into Herc's as he moaned in response to
the feeling of Herc's lips on his body, Herc's hands moving with a gentle and demanding
intimacy they'd never before expressed. Hercules had always been a tactile
person...Iolaus knew his touch well...from the friendly and supportive hand on the
shoulder, to the powerful arms that could lift and carry him as if he was a child or pull
him into a tight hug against that strong, muscled chest...to the hands that gently tended his
wounds and bathed his body when he was injured, ill and feverish. Iolaus needed that
touch...he drew strength from it...and he always had felt the love, acceptance and concern
Herc communicated more in touch than in words. But...he'd never before allowed
himself to feel this sensuality in his friend's touch...never before revealed how much he
had wanted, needed, to fully express his love...and to have it returned.

Afraid that Hercules might someday sense this need, Iolaus had restained his own need to
touch his friend, responding to physical gestures of friendship, yes, but initiating them
only when Herc was hurt and needed support....until now. Usually, it was Iolaus who did
all the talking and Hercules who expressed himself with touch. This time, it had been
Hercules who had spoken the words, and Iolaus who had taken the risk...to reach out and
touch Hercules as a lover, not simply as a friend...to initiate the intimacy of a kiss...but,
he'd still been afraid that this was not what Herc had meant...not what he had wanted.
Hercules could still have been referring to something emotional and spiritual... not
seeking a physical expression of the love, the longing....the passionate desire to touch in
every way...emotionally, spiritually...and phyically...to have no barriers or boundaries....to
be open, vulnerable...to trust and love unconditionally...to make a free and perfect gift of
oneself, of all that one was...to the other.

Gods, he loved Hercules...had loved him all his life...Iolaus had never felt worthy of this
magnificent man...could only really express the depth of his love by being there always,
to protect and safeguard, to bring fun and laughter, to encourage and bring hope in times
of despair....to die, if need be, so that his friend might live. Now, as he felt those beloved
hands take possession of his body, felt the intimate caresses of fingertips and lips, felt
cherished, Iolaus finally understood the look of wistful yearning, of longing that he had
sometimes caught in Herc's eyes...could finally accept that Hercules could want, and
need, and love him as deeply, and as completely, as he had always felt for Hercules.
Feeling those lips and hands tracing patterns of love on his skin, Iolaus was filled with
such an incandescent joy that he glowed in the flickering light of the fire.

Continuing to hold Iolaus firmly within his arms, Hercules shifted his body, gradually
moving onto his knees, while his lips continued to caress Iolaus' throat, nibbled on his
ear, sucked gently on the earring there, and then traced a line back to Iolaus' lips, parting
them with his tongue, deepening the kiss until they were both consumed by it, body
pressing tight against body, each feeling the other's growing passion, feeling the heat
build as each touch, each caress, fanned the flames of their mutual desire. Again,
Hercules broke the kiss, tilting his head to the side as Iolaus' lips found the tender spot
where his collarbone met his shoulder. He hugged Iolaus and, standing, he gently pulled
Iolaus up with him and then lifted Iolaus into his arms.

For once, Iolaus didn't fight being carried. Instead, he reached up to draw Herc's face
down to his own, to again capture his lips. Hercules revelled at the feel of Iolaus in his
arms...for once, not broken or bloody, not hurt, not in danger of death...but fully alive and
strong, generous in his love, demanding in his desire. Iolaus pulled back and they gazed
deeply into one another's eyes, neither able to speak, too full of emotion and the wonder
of sharing the truth between them, the full truth of their love for one another. Hercules
carried Iolaus back to the fire, knelt and laid him gently on the blanket there, his eyes
filled with the beauty of the face and body lying before him, open to him, vulnerable and
trusting. Herc loved this man, loved him so much it ached within him...and his eyes
blurred with the depth of his passion and the gratitude he felt in knowing this
extraordinary man loved him back, loved him in equal measure.

Iolaus sat up, shrugged his arms out of his vest and then reached to loosen Herc's vest,
pushing it back off his shoulders and then pulled Herc's shirt up and over his head.
Holding Herc's eyes with his own, Iolaus gripped his partner's shoulders and pulled him
down, to lie beside him. Iolaus leaned on his left elbow and with his right hand, he traced
the muscles of Herc's left shoulder, felt the strength of his arm as he gripped it and leaned
forward to draw his lips across Herc's chest, until his tongue was encircling Herc's
nipple, his teeth gently pulling on it and then he moved his hand again, along Hercules'
ribs to his hip...then his lips were tracing a hot path from Herc's chest to his abdomen,
Iolaus' tongue dipping into his navel as his fingers started to loosen the lacings of Herc's
codpiece.

Herc caught Iolaus' hand with his own, held it pressed against the erection that swelled
under the leather beneath their hands. Then, his fingers tangled in Iolaus' hair, lifted his
face and gently drew Iolaus back up along his body until he was again able to taste those
lips. Gods, this was so good...so right. Gently, his arms around his partner, he rolled
until Iolaus was now beneath him. Careful to keep his weight on his right elbow, he
buried his face in Iolaus' hair, drinking in the scent of him...finally able to express with
his lips and hands the love that his heart had long felt...kissing Iolaus' brow, his closed
eyes, the angle of his jaw, the hollow of his throat, nuzzling Iolaus' nipple while his
fingers deftly loosened the lacings of Iolaus' pants. Iolaus had his fingers tangled in
Herc's hair, his breathing increasingly rapid in response to the caresses Hercules lavished
upon him.

Hercules pushed himself onto his knees, to free his hands to slide Iolaus' pants off his
hips and down his legs, leaving the glorious golden body naked under his eyes and hands,
naked and inflamed with passion. As Hercules eyes drank in the vision of beauty before
him, Iolaus finished unlacing his partner's pants, pushing them down off his hips, and, as
Hercules used both of his hands to finish pushing his pants down under his knees and off
his legs, Iolaus took hold of Herc's shaft, encircling his erection firmly, and bent his head
to first blow on the tender tip, before delicately licking it and then covering it with his lips
while his fingers gently, slowly traced their way down to cup Herc's testicles, while his
other hand reached to grip his partner's powerful buttocks, pulling him closer, tighter.
Iolaus had given Hercules everything else that was in his power to give...now, he wanted
to give this friend of his soul the most fundamental and powerful pleasures of physical
love.

Hercules groaned with the pleasure of Iolaus's lips and tongue caressing his shaft,
sucking and moving up and down it's length with a slow, deliberate intensity. Hercules
tangled his fingers in Iolaus' hair, watched the firelight dance on their bodies before he
closed his eyes, arching his body, pushing himself deeper into Iolaus, moaning softly with
the immense pleasure of the fire that was consuming his senses. Iolaus's lips briefly
broke their contact as his fingers again gently teased their way back upon along the
underside of Herc's penis to it's tip, where they lightly traced a circle around the slit,
moistening the tips of his fingers on the wetness he found there. Again, Iolaus blew on
the engorged tip, and delicately drew circles around it with his tongue, as his hands
moved, one to grip Herc's hip, the other to find the tight opening....his mouth again took
possession of Herc's penis as his finger gently invaded the new territory, finding the spot
that took Hercules over the edge, away from all reality, aware only of the powerful surges
of exquisite sensations that filled him....Herc held Iolaus' head as he pumped harder,
almost with desperation until he thought he could bear no more.... "Iolaus!!!" he
half gasped, half moaned as he felt himself come with a surge of blinding power.

Hercules groaned softly as he gently lifted Iolaus's head, bending to kiss the lips which
had granted him such pleasure. Holding the kiss, deepening it, Herc shifted, to position
one knee between Iolaus' legs, just resting it against Iolaus' testicles as Iolaus bent his left
knee to rest tightly against the inside of Herc's right thigh. Tasting Iolaus, feeling his
strong erection against his leg, Hercules felt himself begin to respond again, felt his own
erection return. Leaning forward, legs holding each other's engorged penises against one
another, Hercules gently pressed Iolaus down onto his back, then rested his weight on the
elbows he placed on either side of Iolaus' body, holding Iolaus' head between his hands,
tangling his fingers in the riot of curls. He dipped his head and captured Iolaus' lips,
thrusting his tongue into Iolaus' mouth, feeling Iolaus' fingers lace through his hair as he
held Herc's head, tongue meeting tongue, tasting the sweetness, bodies straining against
one another. They each ached with the urgency...and the indescribable joy...of their love.
Losing themselves in one another...cherishing one another...giving ... receiving the
pleasure of souls intimately bonded together.

Iolaus moaned and writhed under him, his arms around Herc's back, his fingers pressing
into the muscles there, revelling in the strength of this body, in it's power...knowing the
power was leashed now and focused upon pleasuring him...loving him. Hercules lifted
his head, traced his tongue along Iolaus' jaw, licked the hollow of his throat and then
meandered his way down to tease one nipple and then the other, gently pulling with his
teeth, before moving his lips further down Iolaus' body, until they delicately, gently
kissed the recently healed scar on the left side of Iolaus' abdomen.

Iolaus gasped with the benediction of those lips, healing what had been ripped and torn,
bringing pleasure where there had been only pain. Watching Hercules, Iolaus could see
the flash of pain on his friend's face when Herc kissed the scar...the tears that bore
witness to the grief he still felt for the suffering this scar represented. Iolaus rested his
hands lightly on Herc's head, stroked the hair back from his friend's face, drawing Herc's
eyes to his own...and when he had captured his friend's attention, Iolaus graced him with
a blinding smile, eyes glistening with love...his own touch a blessing of forgiveness,
reassurance and redemption. Yes, that scar represented a time of great pain and fear...but
it also represented the moment that had brought them to this place of joy. The lines of
pain smoothed from Herc's face as he understood the unspoken message...bending his
head, he kissed the scar with reverence...and with gratitude for the life and love of the
man who bore it.

Hercules knew that Iolaus was not yet fully healed and was determined to be gentle, to
not cause more pain. He traced patterns of passion with his lips and tongue over Iolaus'
body, let his fingertips skim the surface of Iolaus' skin, causing delicious sensations.
Hercules knew this body well...had touched it with care and concern countless times
before...but this was the first time he'd been able to fully communicate what Iolaus meant
to him...to give the love he felt tangible form...to share all of himself with this being who
meant more than any other...to bring pleasure and joy with his touch.

Iolaus groaned in pleasure, and reached to grasp their erections, to hold the shafts tightly
together, to knead them with his strong fingers. Hercules gasped, then covered Iolaus'
hands with his own, before pulling them away. He wanted to focus on Iolaus, not be
distracted by his own needs. Sliding down Iolaus' body, stroking, licking, biting and
kissing all the way, Hercules balanced his weight on his left elbow, as his right hand
finally found it's way to tremble upon the length of Iolaus' rigid penis, stroking it slowly
before he grasped it firmly and brought his lips down to gently take the tip in his mouth.
His tongue circled, teased, caressed the slit, lingering over the salty taste of the precum he
sucked from the tip of his lover's penis, before his lips and tongue slipped down along the
shaft to gently lick and tease Iolaus's testicles.

Iolaus thought he might go mad with the desire that filled him...with the sensations of
pleasure so sharp they were almost pain. He wanted Hercules, needed him...needed these
hands, these lips...needed the love as a parched desert needs rain. Iolaus again tangled his
fingers in Herc's hair, and moaned his name, as Hercules took Iolaus balls into his right
hand, gently squeezing them, while his tongue traced a firm, unbroken path up along the
shaft and traced a circle on its tip. Hercules blew softly against the inflamed head,
moistened the tips of his fingers and then took Iolaus into his mouth, swallowing his
length, slowly moving his mouth up and down the shaft, his lips tightly encircling it, his
tongue teasing and stroking, gradually increasing the tempo, feeling Iolaus hips arch, his
legs rising to circle tightly around Herc's waist, thrusting himself urgently into Hercules
mouth, faster...and faster.

Hercules moved his hand from it's tender grip of Iolaus' balls, and gently inserted a
finger into the tight orifice between his buttocks, creating exquisite sensations each time
Iolaus' thrust his hips with greater urgency. Gods, Iolaus had never felt anything like
this....it wasn't just physical...he again felt Hercules' love fill his soul, consume and
ennoble him. His right hand on Herc's head, Iolaus' left hand captured Hercules'
erection, and was pumping Herc to the same beat that had captured his own body,
desperate that they share the same rhythm of passion, of union, of completion in one
another. The passion between them built, the fires raged, until they were lost in the
sensations of touch and scent, gasping for breath as their bodies moved to a shared
crescendo of love. Iolaus cried out, "HERCULES!!!!" as he came in Herc's mouth, his
seed spilling forth to be swallowed gratefully, hungrily, by his lover, while Hercules
spilled his own seed on Iolaus' body.

Hercules sucked gently on Iolaus' spent shaft, then released him and moved up to kiss his
lover deeply, passionately...tenderly. Iolaus' arms encircled him, holding him tightly and
Hercules gently hugged him, holding him close as he rolled onto his side and back,
bringing Iolaus to rest on top of him, legs tangled together. Iolaus rested his cheek
against Herc's chest, Herc's cheek against the top of his head, Herc's hands tangled in his
hair, gently stroking the line of his spine. Iolaus quivered in Herc's arms, shaking from
the intensity of the experience of being fully with him, from the blinding joy of being
merged with this man who held him so securely...this man whom he had always loved
unconditionally, trusted with his life.

Hercules felt Iolaus tremble, felt the warm wetness of tears on his skin. He loosened his
grip, suddenly afraid he might have forgotten his strength in the moments of passion,
might have hurt Iolaus...but he felt Iolaus grip him harder, heard him murmur, "Gods,
Hercules....I love you more than life itself...I always have....I always will..." Blinking
back tears of love and gratitude, Herc tightened his grip around his beloved friend, his
lips gently brushing aside Iolaus' curls, to tenderly kiss his brow.... "You hold my soul in
your heart, Iolaus," Herc whispered in return, "I belong to you for all eternity...."

Finis

Disclaimer: No offense was meant by using the quotes from Andrew Lloyd Webber's
great song, "Love changes everything"...the sentiments just seemed to fit the story....and,
let's remember...it was Ancient Greece, right? Heroes travelled in pairs....and the myths
tell their stories.......