by - Lugia222
When we last left Lina and Co. they had all just conveniently fallen into a portal hub, or in layman's terms, a conjoinment of portal archways into other dimensions. (Some pretty smart layman hunh?). Anyway, Xellos, acting like, well, Xellos, wouldn't surrender any information. /|^_^|\ So, Lina and Company have to go into tons of other dimensions, trying to work to the top of the hub to the portal back to their world. This will get very interesting, ne?
Lina and company reached the first portal, and examined it. It was basically a large archway, with a sign above it. It said "Hunger". Hmm. Wonder what that could mean? Anyway, Lina and company ventured through the door, not knowing what lay before them. (Of course, Xellos smirked and followed ;))
Lina was the first to walk through the portal, and came upon a world with blue skies and white puffy clouds, much like hers. However, there were many large pieces of metal and many very very large buildings there, what a strange place! Of course, Lina only saw this for a second, as she realized she ended up 500 feet in the air. She feel to the ground, right into a mans arms on a stage. Everyone else followed, in our oh so familiar slayers sundae.
President: We have our two nominees! This young red headed girl, and this man with the long blonde hair! Congratulations!
Lina: What the... O_o
Gourry: x_X
---15 Minutes Later---
Lina: So what exactly have we been nominated for anyway?
President: You have been nominated to lead the End World Hunger section of the US Government. Or, the EWH. You two were the first on the stage, so you're the nominees. And, if either of you are unable to fulfill your duties, the next person that appeared on stage will become the leader. But no matter, now it's time to eat!
Lina and Gourry: YEAH!
President: However, you can only eat 2/3 of your normal meal size. Let's eat.
Lina: Well, I guess I'll only have double portions of everything on the menu, waiter.
Gourry: And I'll only have this and this and this and this and this. Triple portions please.
As the waiter went over to the president and conveyed his message, the president had an announcement to make.
President: I have an important announcement to make. As it turns out, this man and woman ARE THE CASUE OF WORLD HUNGER!!! So, filling in for them, will be this mysterious purple haired man.
Xellos: You really don't have to do that...
President: We simply must!
Xellos: No I mean you really shouldn't do that... Oh dear...
President: So, Mr. What did you say your name was again?
Xellos: Mr. X. Please. My my...
President: So, Mr. X, what is your first decision as the leader of the EWH?
Xellos: Tea to the masses!
President: Erm, well, maybe your full plan will be better! What exactly is it? (That was NOT a good idea).
Xellos: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Xellos teleported away, as the president's stress rose to an unbelievably high level.
President: 8...9...10... Ah, I feel better *cringe* I guess our next leader will be this nice lady (hopefully) with the long blonde hair. Ms, what is your name?
Filia: Wha? ME? Oh, my, gracious me! Oh my, what an honor to be chosen to be the next leader! I don't know what to say, but at least I'm not speechless! I always carry this with me in case of emergencies!
Filia took out a scroll of paper, which turned out to be 5 miles long.
Filia: Well, as the leader of the EWH, I think I must say something that will live in infamy forever, something original, yet noble. 6 score and 5 years ago, my forefathers…
---5 Hours Later---
As the audience has fallen asleep in it's entirety, unrelenting Filia continues her speech.
Filia: And so, with that said and out of the way, I come to the part of my speech where I describe my goals. My goals, the things I strive for, the things I wish to do for the world, the things that everyone should strive for, the goals of mine, the golden things I wish the world to have and the things that I wish to achieve. My goals...
---10 Hours Later---
And so, in conclusion, my goals will be the Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème de la Crème with EXTRA Crème. Thank you for your time. G'night! (Don't you just LOVE the copy and paste functions?)
Filia hears crickets chirping in the background and realizes that everyone is asleep. Doing a Jigglypuff mad face, she instantly whips out mace-sama and hits everyone upside the head. Then, she went off to cry. Poor Filia. (Although that speech was INSANELY long).
President: What? Um, excellent speech?! Where is the leader of the EWH? No matter, um, lemme see, the next person on the list is this black haired girl here *whisper* and you BETTER NOT mess up.
Amelia: Um, well...
As Amelia ascended to the highest point in the area, everyone from our slayers universe groaned knowing what would undoubtedly happen. (And Xellos re-inserted his ear plugs used during Filia's speech (Boy does Xellos love Tea! (He was drinking it during Filia's speech (I seriously have to stop the parenthesis (Yeah, I know, you're getting real tired of it)))))
Amelia: All over the world, people are starving, while here we have more food than we can eat. We must put an end to this great injustice at any cost!
The crowd started cheering at her amazing speech, but Amelia shut them all up to continue her speech. (Bad idea in Amelia's case...)
Amelia: In the name of justice, truth, and food I propose we trust in justice to do whatever needs to be done! But you have to keep the love in justice in your heart! With passion and courage you can make miracles happen! There is nothing justice can't do! Justice will solve all our problems! We only need to wait for justice! *holds up patterned finger*
President: Um... yeah... You know what, we'll get back to you... Don't call us, we'll call you. Anyway, the LAST *cringe* person *cringe* on our LIST *cringe* is this weird skinned man. Don't worry, we're an equal opportunity employer. So, what is your name?
Zelgadis: Zelgadis...
President: Well, Mr. Zelgadis, what do you have to say?
Zelgadis: It is a grevious thing for anyone to be deprived of any of the necessities of life... and at this time, I'd like to sing a song I wrote. *sings the life song*
President: That was absoutley..................HORRIBLE! WORST THING I HAV EVER HEARD! YOU 6 ARE OUT OF HERE!
As the president and the rest of the audience chased Lina and co. away, Lina and co. conveniently fell into a conveniently placed dimensional portal, back to that hub.
What will happen to Lina and co. in their next adventure? What world they end up in next? How did Xellos take the life song? How far will Amelia go to punish short perverted men? Find out next time in Slayers Parody #3: 1/2 Baked
P.S. - For those of you who don't know, /|^_^|\ is my own lil Xellos smilie :) Don't you just love it? ;)