By - Linnet
"Come ON! Push! PUSH!"
"Linaaa…I’m pushing as hard as I can! Isn’t that enough?"
"No! Argh! You’re useless! Come on! Put some muscle into it!" Lina kicked her feet in the air insanely, her heel catching Gourry’s jaw. He flew back, suddenly SD, into the dirt. She grunted and dug her heels into the dirt and jumped off her swing. "Gourry! What am I going to do with you?"
Gourry whimpered, clutching his already-wounded mouth and managed to reply, "Buth…It wasthn’t my faulth your heel hurth my mouth." He was silenced by the threatening wave of Lina’s fist.
"You’re useless. Now who’s gonna push me on the swing?" her fist swung back and slams into Xelloss’s approaching face, who was coming to volunteer. "No one wants to help!" she complained as he hit the ground.
Lina stormed off toward the jungle gym, but was sidetracked by a slightly traumatized Amelia.
"L…Lina-chan?" she choked.
Cocking an eyebrow skeptically, Lina answered, "Yeah? What do you want?"
"You don’t think I have cooties, do you?"
"…Eh…"
"You too, Lina-chan?! This is an outrage! I do NOT have cooties!" her sobs erupted into anime waterfall tears.
Lina backed off, twitching. "Er…I mean, no…of course you don’t have cooties, Amelia…"
"No! No! You think I’m cotramilated!"
"…Eh…Don’t you mean ‘contaminated’?"
"…Yah…Okay…You think I’m comtaminateded!"
Lina sweatdropped and scratched her head, wondering how the heck she was supposed to get away from this babbling baby. "Look…uh…You can go talk to teacher about that…Can I go now?"
But the stricken superhero-worshipper-to-be just stood there, recreating Noah’s flood. Lina growled.
"That’s just about all I can take. FIREBALL!" And the little princess was roasted, toasted, and tossed into the second-grade basketball court.
And so, little Lina continued her search for a better swing-pusher-person. All she needed to find was someone so absent-minded, so gullible, so unintelligent…That shouldn’t be hard, she thought.
But she bumped into a little Valgaav sitting on the jungle gym instead.
"Er…ah…Hey there, Valgaav. Nice weather we’re having, ne?"
Valgaav looked up and glared (of course this would only come out as flat-out amusing, seeing as Valgaav doing anything but glare is just unnatural), looking up from his horrific artwork in the dirt. "What do you want?"
"…Nothing…I’ll get going now! ^^" Lina turned on her heel and started to walk away.
Valgaav shrugged and continued drawing gory battle scenes. "What a dork," he grumbled as he drew Lina’s head being sawed off. He smirked evilly.
"Dork?" she turned around and glared, then looked at what Valgaav was drawing.
The little green dragon snickered and drew Lina again hanging by a string and being tortured. Yes, that’s right. The ultimate torture. She was strung up and had to listen to Nahga spill out corny jokes and laugh incessantly at them. (I’m sorry if that scared anyone to hard…I should put warning signs up next time.)
Lina screeched. "ACK! (Ha! Look! Title-insertion!) What the heck?! How can you DO that?"
"Easy. I could do it in real life, too." Valgaav pointed at Nahga, who was sitting off a ways sipping apple cider cheerily.
"GAH! NO! FIREBALL!" And so Valgaav and Nahga now come in a brand new flavor: extra crispy. (Please don’t torch me for that lame joke)
Lina shuddered in horror, feeling violated at the very thought of having to put up with vile Nahga. But, she was still at a loss. Where was she going to find someone to push her on the swing? It isn’t easy being a kindergarten sorceress, no, no. Onward, Lina-chan! Recess is over in ten minutes!
~Stands before her beloved audience~ Okay. Yes! It was longer! And my sick sense of humor leaked in up to their chibi ankles! ^^ Genius, ne? ~Dodges the flinging radishes~ …Radishes? …Well…At least you’re original…Ja ne, fair audience! ~POOF~
Disclaimer! Again! I don’t own these wonderful Slayers players! There.