"What on EARTH were they searching for?"
And now...time for the funny google searches!
This is not made up. This is REAL. These are actual key words that people have used to find various pages on my Rafe and Alison website. Some are strange, others are hysterical...
---raliit (This is either a typo or some really disappointed searcher who realizes the word is "rali", not "raliit".)
---7th heaven fanfic nc-17 (NC-17 huh? And ironically, this is a wholesome family show about a Reverend and his wife and their seven children.)
---vampire biting buffy's boobs pics (Because everyone knows the vampires go for the boobs first, then the neck.)
---port charles torn pics of the avatar (Pics of the avatar? Who wants a picture of that? lol Quite possibly *the* stupidest story on PC.)
---sitewwwgeocitiescom skinny dip (Yeah you wish, perv.)
---sexy raver dancing buddy icon (Sexy and raver in the same sentence? Sorry, there's nothing sexy about those guys who get stoned and drunk at those parties.)
---livvierafecalebalison fanfic (idontknowhowtouseaspacebar)
---fanfiction baby on the way (That sounds like a good one, if Rali's in it. I'd read it ;-) )
---caleb and allison fanfiction port charles (haha! This isn't a Cali site! You must feel stupid.)
--low fat breakfast burrito (Low fat breakfasts that make me want to hurl.)
---how old brian gaskill is (You mean someone out there doesn't know that? I thought everyone knew BG's age, birthday, middle name, shoe size, and eye color!)
---if i didn't have flashbacks i'd have no memory at all (You are correct, sir.)
---can superstition bring love (How the hell would I know? Do your own research.)
---port charles finale and recap (Not so much of an unusual search except the fact that the searcher was looking for this on my Miracles Happen recap page lol)
---alison is pregnant by caleb not rafe (Yeah you wish, cali lover! People that type stupid stuff like that end up on my google search page. Yeah, honey, just keep telling yourself that, but it won't make it true.)
---photography of caleb and livvie (Oh wow, we're using fancy words :-) "Photography" in lieu of "pics")
---alison's chin (Remember the search I had for "alison chin"? Well I guess someone decided to test that one out lol.)
---leaned forward shirt opened hint of bra ("Hint of bra". Ooo, aren't we getting creative with words in the search query!)
---she (The suspense of what was next in this search query is KILLING ME!)
---do brian presley and erin hershey have new jobs (Lord I hope so soon! Uhh, the waiting!)
---lack of romance (Yeah, tell me about it! I've never seen a couple like Rali have so much pillow talk and so few love scenes.)
---christmas wedding stupid (Yes. Yes it was.)
---ali caleb barn (Ugh! How many times do I have to tell you? I think CALI SUCKS!)
---"cool hair dues" and "cute hair dues" (What's so funny about these two searches is that it's hairdos, not hair dues LOL!)
---wedding night made love (Yes, I would hope so! Otherwise that would be quite a disappointing wedding night.)
---make a baby with me (Sorry, but I don't know you that well!)
---kelly monaco smoky eyes (Smoky eyes? Hmm.)
---picture of a stop sign (No, I don't have that, but I do have a "Livvie is a Froot Loop" sign!)
---toilet seat marriage advice (I just love this one! In my fanfic, Ian could tell you some things!)
---toss ceremony shower the newlyweds with (Well? With...?)
---restaurant and no kids allowed (Well that's mean. Now who doesn't like being in a restaurant when there's a cute little baby in the next booth?)
---i'd love to be your distraction (Well if you're Rafe, then I'd say I'd love to be yours too! lol)
---you have this strange effect on me (I have a strange effect on you, eh? Is that a good or a bad thing?)
---angel shaped cookies (What would we do w/o the Pillsbury Dough Boy?)
---alison mary bath wedding (That's an image I'd like to get out of my mind.)
---all i ever wanted was to make you happy i can only do that by stepping aside i just have one favor to ask of you remember me (All you ever wanted was the find the lyrics to your sappy love song but your misguided search led you here and will you remember it?)
---joshua and alison (Eww! First I get sick Rivvie searches, then I get Caleb and Ailson, and now, Joshua and Alison? Eww!)
---mrs bride leg garter toss picture (Yep, she's a "Mrs." now.)
---grass skirt coconut reveal (Yeah, we all know what you want to be revealed you sick sicko.)
---she emerged from the bathroom wedding (A bathroom wedding?! How horrible! Who wants to get married in the room that people go number 2 in?!)
---honeymoon and hawaii and beach and naked (Well I would hope there would be some nakedness on your honeymoon. If not, you'd have some problems there.)
---weird watches (How about weird searchers?)
---bra off sitegeocitiescom (I'd like to see the look of disappointment on this guy's face when he realizes my site is NOT FREE PORN!)
---are you going to be sick (I will if I ever see that Caleb/Alison flashback again)
---rafe towel shower (I have a pretty good idea what this person was looking for *wink*)
---alison finger (Does someone have like, a weird obsession with Alison and random body parts? First a search for her chin, now her finger. What is going through this person's mind?)
---hurricane jokes wedding (There's nothing funny about a hurricane. Now with weddings, Chris could tell ya some wedding jokes in my fanfic lol)
---packing a wedding dress (is a very delicate process)
---comebacks to say when you get teased (Well in any case, picking on the bully's mama may be a good comeback. Some examples: Yo mama's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." ; Yo mama's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read. ; Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry. ; Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. ; Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. Good luck, kid! Hope the bully stops teasing you! )
---mistake stupid obvious (Hmm, sounds like something Livvie once did. Yeah, it was a STUPID mistake to drug herself!)
---colored jock (Attention Kmart shoppers! There's a blue light special in the colored jock strap department!)
---rali nc-17 (Good to know that this fanfic reader knows EXACTLY what she wants. I suggest she read "Who's Up for Dessert?")
---alison caleb clips sex (EWW, EWW, EWW! What, the twenty million flashbacks weren't ENOUGH for you?!)
---make a baby with me (Remember that episode where Alison wanted Rafe to make a baby with her? Well what happenend?! I think we can all agree that Rafe and Alison have had well over 9 months to make this happen.)
---nude (Yep, just a one word search for nude. Apparently, this sicko doesn't care what it is...just as long as it's naked!)
---don't tell me that you love me unless you mean it cause i might do something crazy like believe it (Or don't tell Livvie that you think she's crazy cause she might do something psycho like kill you.)
---abcspeakoutsoapsindepthcom (Your bizzarre search landed you here! Yay!)
---unhook bra learn pictures (Are you one of those who just can't seem to get the hang of learning how to unhook that damn bra? Well if so, then sorry, I have no pictures to help you learn how, so stop coming here w/ all of your bra searches!)
---how does port charles the gift end (It's the million dollar question! What do you think I am? A magic eight ball that knows all the answers?)
---orbit gum girl vanessa nude (Yep, w/ all of the VB searches I've been getting, I knew it was just a matter of time before someone wanted to see her all natural.)
---melody+heaven sent an angel (This one is NOT a funny search, but I just loved it! Aww, someone was searching for my name and they knew the title of my fanfic! I feel so special :-) )
---brian gaskill's wardrobe (Could have used some improvement. Those big black boots were horrible!)
---how to come up with original ideas (Um, okay, who wants to answer this one lol)
---how do i get people to my website (Well a link exchange is a good place to start.)
---make my website better (Avoid loud backgrounds, annoying graphics, don't steal from me and have some good content and it'll be just fine.)
---how to make my own website (Do I look like that HTML goodies website?)
---star background site (Ahem, do I look like freebackgrounds.com?)
---the importance of being yourself (Yes, it is important to be yourself. It would be just boring if we were all alike!)
---wireimage bigger pictures (Nice try, but you're gonna have to pay to find the bigger ones. Do I look like I can afford the bigger pics?)
---should you tell brother of paternity results (Smells like a Maury search!)
---enrique iglesias fanfiction (When you involve real life celebrities, I don't think that's fanfiction anymore. That's fantasy...or psycho, one of them.)
---alison falls (Erin falls a lot too. And the stars say they're nothing like their characters...)
---rali magazine (Wow, what a great idea!! How cool would that be? A soap magazine just devoted to Rali! You could have spoilers for them, recaps, pictures...or hey, you could just visit my site and not have to pay a subscription fee ;-) )
---caleb bites livvie (Yep, that's what vampires do. But if you were looking for pictures, try a Calivia site.)
---will rafe find out about alison and caleb having sex on port charles (B/c apparently, I know ALL the answers...)
---kate alison (Anyone else miss Kate? Some of you may be thinking...Kate, who's Kate? Yeah, you blinked and you missed her.)
---quotes like if it's meant to happen it will happen (You found my site...so yes, it was meant to happen)
---quotes and i feel like i can't tell anyone how much i love him (Why don't you just tell him you love him? The worst that could happen is that he'll say he doesn't like you like that, but then you just move on with your life!)
---not coming back love quotes (Heaven on Earth, your one stop for all your misguided love quotes search queries.)
---cleavage +shirts +boobs (If you wanted to see boobs, why did you include the word shirts in the search query? You could have just typed in boobs. Men are stupid!)
---whoa naked (I think it should be more like, "WHOA! NAKED!!")
---sister naked sitegeocitiescom (Can you say pervert?)
---quotes on saying sorry for breaking someone's heart (Well you could admit what an ass you are for cheating on her.)
---ticklish rafe (This search query just brings a funny and lighthearted rali scene to mind.)
---ticklish surrender (This one just confuses the heck out of me.)
---smiley icons flipping the bird (I don't have any of those but would some mooning smilies interest you? 
)
---how to make a rafe (Wanna make your very OWN Rafe?! Of course you do! Who wouldn't want a clone of this sexy slayer with the face of an angel? Just...oh wait, I'm not going to give this out for free! Send me a check for $50 and I'll tell you how...)
---jack bitterly today (My boy Jack was bitter today? Huh, that's doesn't sound like my Jack;-) Well, I guess he does get bitter when he thinks about how Livvie tried to KILL him...)
---free photos of insane father forced daughter to have sex (Not funny, just very, very disturbing.)
---caleb and livvie the gift (Why am I always getting Calivia searches?! What part of Heaven on Earth makes them think this is a Calivia site?)
---want and desire quotes (Then quotes you shall recieve! Rali ones anyway ;-) )
---alison you (Yet another strange Alison and random word search.)
---pigs in heaven chapter 30 (Chapter 30 is a real tearjerker. Find out what happens to Wilber, Porky, and Babe after they become bacon.)
---naked rali (It's sad when Lucian gets more action than our beloved Rali and we must search for Rali nakedness elsewhere...i.e. fanfic!)
---port charles superstition stephen (Stephen wasn't in Superstition, but apparently, that's not obvious to everyone.)
---bra photo unhook (Apparently, someone needs a photo demonstration to learn how to do this.)
---lucy's naked girls (PERV!)
---kelly monaco hair and make up (Wanna snag Kelly's style? Then go to a Kelly Monaco site! jeez!)
---yes miracles happen (No, they don't, at least not when ABC is concerned.)
---bananas the bear (Christina's bear has been a bit naughty...b/c he's now on internet sites everywhere doing god knows what!)
---angel candleshop (I miss the Pink Rose!)
---better (Why yes, if you were looking for the "better" couple on Port Charles, you are in the right place!)
---unzipped her pants (Heaven on Earth...your one stop for all of your misguided porn-related searches!)
---watched slid laid down bra kissed him (It's a bit difficult to make sense of this one, but I'm thinking the guy is watching the girl lay down and then the bra kissed him.)
---sitewwwgeocitiescom horsy ride -johnny (Won't someone give little Johnny a quarter so he can go on a horsy ride?)
---yeah it's kind of like that quotes (Yeah, it sure is.)
---abcsoapsindepthcom (You forgot the most important part of any web url...the DOT!)
---alison barrington derek barrington (Oh good, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who believes Alison's father's name is really Derek and not Malcolm!)
---blonde girl connection (Being a brunette, I regretfully don't know what this is about.)
---info to do with heaven and earth show (It's not a show, it's my site!)
---made aim buddy icons (Good for you! Now send them to me for my Rali site.)
---port charles caleb and livvie fanfiction (Rali are often mistaken for Calivia in fanfiction.)
---improve grammer/spelling (A dictionary is always an excellent place to begin.)
---port charles caleb fanfics (If you hadn't mistaken a Rali site for a Caleb site, you might have found what you were looking for already.)
---soap opera nude scene (Well I heard Tony Geary once did his love scenes as "Luke" naked...)
---talk shows cooking segment (Can someone please tell me why cooking segments have become such a fad? Maybe we should stop putting the blame on McDonald's for America's obesity problem and look elsewhere...)
---ali gee quotes (Gee, this is an odd search!)
---write to a actress (I think you should reconsider writing considering your grammar is so bad. It's "an actress", not "a actress". You use "an" in front of words that begin with a vowel.)
---"" (I swear, this is an ACTUAL search LOL)
---theme of livvie (Well I always thought that song about the woman who liked to have sex like men is a good theme for Livvie, b/c hey, Livvie is a tramp...)
---bridal shower games not corny (Okay, I'm sorry I said they were.)
---how to write words of wisdom for a bride to be (Don't ask me! I looked on the internet for that when I wrote my chapter.)
---bridal shower words of wisdom book (Do I look like Barnes & Noble?)
---bridal shower relaxation theme games (There is one really nervous and panicky bride out there!)
---tropical storm alison (Do I look like weather.com?)
---rafe store manhattan (Are you telling me there's some store in Manhattan where you can BUY YOUR OWN RAFE? LOL)
---how to dress tropical storm (Well I'd say dress in a raincoat and get the hell out of there!)
---getting parents to let you go to cancun ("Oh, no mom, whatever makes you think this trip involves sex and alcohol and loud parties? We're going to Cancun for our Christian Youth Group's Mission Trip!")
---no-show parents at wedding (Aww, that's sad. I'm sorry. I hope you have a Rafe to lean on like Alison does in my fanfic.)
---superstitious getting caught in the rain (Yeah, if you melt, that means you're a witch!)
---best man checklist last minute (Aww, someone went to my site for best man advice! I feel so special! Just goes to show you how important research is when you're a writer of fanfiction.)
---groom's second thoughts (Well maybe this groom, but not Rafe in my fanfic!)
---wedding rain wet gown (It really sucks to be you...I'm sorry!)
---cream eggs (Cream eggs? Cream eggs? What on EARTH was this searcher thinking? Do I look like an online cookbook for crying out loud?)
---kauai naked honeymoon (Yeah, that pretty much sums up Rafe and Alison's honeymoon in my fanfic!)
---honeymoon skinny dip (go for it! lol)
---skinny dip beaches oahu hawaii (No, try Kauai, it's more secluded.)
---maui skinny dip (See above!)
---beach made love maui (Good to see that our Hawaiian beaches are getting some action.)
--red negligee (Yes, you'd definitely find that here...IF THIS SITE WAS VICTORIA'S SECRET!)
---they kissed passionately (Then Rafe and Alison made hot passionate love all night long.)
---brian frons (I'm sure he's getting a lot of hate mail right about now.)
---don't steal my html (I didn't steal your html, but you probably stole mine!!)
---sitewwwgeocitiescom hate love hurt quotes (Love does hurt, doesn't it buddy?)
---i miss you so much quotes (Why do you need quotes about it? Why can't you simply say..."Hey, I miss you.")
---alison catfight (10 bucks say that Livvie is involved.)
---it could hurt livvie's feelings if rafe is mean to her (It could hurt my feelings if Rafe is nice to her!)
---his he she her him pants shirt panties (This person was so excited about doing a search on shirts, pants, and PANTIES, that they got their pronouns all mixed up!)
---i will move heaven and earth to see (It's like a fun fill in the blank! So, who would YOU move heaven and earth to see?)
---pictures of girls shoving their faces in a cake (Well it's good to know this searcher knew exactly what they were looking for...but it's NOT ON MY SITE!)
---wedding night bed bathroom changed (The newlyweds were so drunk on their wedding night that they mistakingly thought the tub was the bed and the bed was the...)
---as you travel through life together (You realize that Forrest Gump was right...life really is like a box of chocolates, b/c you never know what you're going to get.)
---he kissed his bride and carried her over the threshold on their wedding night (Well yes, that is usually what happens.)
---everything on a waffle every single chapter (Okay look, yes, in my fanfic, Rafe and Alison have some sort of odd addiction to waffles, but I'm not making them eat them every single chapter!)
---rafe credit (Does Rafe even HAVE credit? How how the hell does he make money?!)
---livvie alison catfight (Why do I get the feeling that this search query was from a male PC fan? lol)
---alison vampire rafe (No no no, Rafe is a vampire slayer, not a vampire!)
---stealing website ideas (I hate it when that happens.)
---marissa tess video (Marissa the reporter interviews Tess (now that she can finally speak) on what it was like to live as a cavewoman! Find out the answers to all of those burning questions we've been dying to know, such as: What was with the pumpkin soup anyway? And why no urge to go wash up in the river? And more importantly, what was it really like using leaves for toilet paper? Watch the exclusive video...you'll only find it here!)
---activites for preschoolers (Yeah, because I know a LOT of preschoolers who are diehard Rali fans...)
---buddy icons days of our lives (WRONG SOAP!)
---erin hershey wedding photos (Rachel and I searched that to death for our EHBP site...trust me, you won't find it.)
---alison/livvie fanfiction (Hmm, which Livvie? Normal Livvie or Psycho Livvie? Normal Livvie is in my fanfic :-) )
---rali bg (I love how we use abbreviations :-) )
---spectresville (Can I tell ya that this word never appears ONCE on my page! Spectresville...I'm afraid to know what kind of town that is anyway...)
---give alison money (No, Alison doesn't need money, she's already rich as sin. Give MELODY money!!)
---video slip of rafe alison (I'm sure the person was actually searching for video clips but the typo was kinda funny.)
---bermuda brochures (Which is probably the closest Jack ever got to exploring the island considering that his trip was for ONE DAY!)
---soapnet naked (Oh come on, Soapnet, don't be shy, it's NAKED TIME!)
---quotes naked (Yeah!! Finally a porn-related search query that doesn't involve pictures!!)
---pictures of naked black girls at bike rallies (Damn, spoke TOO SOON!)
---sexiest white woman with blond hair in the world naked (Men are stupid. That's all I have to say.)
---unhook my (well usually, I hate it when searchers leave me hanging like this, but in this case, I don't think I want to know...)
---my girlfriend emily (Sorry, I'm not your gf Emily, and even if I was, I wouldn't post pictures of myself on the net for the whole world to see! This is a soap opera site, dumbass.)
---kelly monaco in sexy clothes (Well at least it's a lot more tasteful than that "brian gaskill naked" search request I got.)
---sexy photo shoot (What makes a photo shoot sexy? Hmm...well I hope the one with BG, EHP, and KM was sexy enough for them!)
---photo shoot actress (I guess any actress will do, huh?)
---80's hair bands and makeup (Just because I'm a child of the 80s doesn't mean I have 80s hair bands and makeup information on my site. That's not really my thing anyway.)
---soap guys in nude (None of that is on my site...but they never give up hope.)
---genie girl chair hospital (Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo! Oh, sorry! I got carried away humming the "I Dream of Jeannie" theme song.)
---what will we do till (Well, look around at my website...I'm sure you'll find something to do ;-) )
---brian sites (Okay, now a search for Brian Gaskill sites would not be weird, but just a search for ANY Brian? Hmm, well let's see, there sure are a LOT of Brians out there...)
---don't steal my source (I didn't steal your source! You probably stole mine though.)
---ali quotes (These quotes search queries just get annoying after a while.)
---rafe and alison devoted (You bet!)
---photography love couples killing (This one is actually pretty disturbing. There are some sick people out there.)
---hartman gabriela (Lock your doors, Gabriela Hartman! Someone is doing a search on you...)
---in love is caleb and livvie (Someone needs a grammar lesson.)
---tiny bikini mature-sex-teen (Oh dear! NOT ON THIS SITE!)
---quotes about hiding feelings (Ask Rafe. He did a lot of that in Miracles Happen.)
---superstition roses (Well I can't be sure if this is correct, but I did hear of a superstition once about roses. It said if an angel gives you a pink rose, you will be guaranteed a very happy and long life. Hope that helps.)
---quotes i can't do this alone -buffy -soph (Yeah, looking on the internet for quotes is really hard. Yeah, sometimes I just don't think I can do it by myself either. It's so hard to decide what to put in that search box.)
---quotes about peacefulness (Wow, this is a first. Usually it's the guy who is in trouble with his wife and he's looking for "apologizing quotes." I like the peacefulness thing though. ;-) )
---lucy's naked page (UGH!)
---clue of starting a bakery business (go ask Alison)
---brother and sister married and don't know they are related (Oh dear, it's disturbing someone was doing a real search on this. Someone's life is really a soap, huh?)
---all aboard remote (I can't make any sense of this one.)
---soapnet commercial (Hmm, what soapnet commercial were you looking for? Some of them, I really love, but that one that raps the names of the soaps is annoying as hell. I hope you weren't looking for that one, b/c that one sucks.)
---psycho bitch parody (LOL, yeah, Livvie is a psycho bitch in the Maury parody!)
---maury they're back shocking maury updates (It's funny how people really think that ONE page that was the Maury parody is actually Maury's website. Sheesh.)
---how to be a guest on the maury show (Go to his website. I'm not listing all of the Maury searches, but I can tell you I had about 10 of these.)
---snl impressions (Yeah! My first google search from an SNL fan! Yeah, I hear Erin Hershey Presley does a lot of those...)
---who is the woman from orbit gum (DAMN IT! I TOLD YOU! VANESSA BRANCH!)
---erin hershey dad (Someone was doing a search on Erin Hershey's dad. Hmm, strange...)
---stop sign picture (Ya know, if you want a picture of a stop sign, all you have to do is an image search at google. But SOMEHOW, the searcher thought they would find it at my site. Melody shakes head.)
---rave lessons (YOU again? I told you, I don't give out rave lessons! I don't go to raves and I'm an introvert so I don't do well at large gatherings anyway! Go ask someone else your rave questions.)
---sexy photo clothes party wedding photo (Not just any photo clothes party wedding photo will do...it's gotta be sexy.)
---kelly monaco as livvie in wedding dress (This is a new one. Usually I get requests for Alison in her wedding dress which really aren't all that strange but Livvie? Try a Livvie site, sweetie ;-) )
---need tommy girl models (Then place an ad in the paper, Einstein.)
---not-the-sex-talk (Yeah, that's embarrassing for everyone when a parent tries to give the sex talk.)
---orbit gum+side effects (I wasn't aware there were side effects from the gum. I guess I am pretty sick of hearing about Vanessa Branch though. I guess that could be a side effect.)
---world series ring e-bay (I am soooo NOT a sports fan, so why would I have THAT on my website? And here's a thought...you were looking for ebay right? Then how about trying EBAY!)
---brian gaskill naked (Some Brian Gaskill fan has been very naughty. Very. )
---brian gaskill nude (Again, someone has been very naughty. Ya know, it's one thing to look for pics of him shirtless, but looking for pics of him nude is a whole other category!)
---brian presley nude (Little girl, give it up. There's not a chance in hell you'll find that on the web.)
---Lynn Herring nude (Lynn Herring is beautiful but...NUDE?! EWW, EWW, EWW! SICK!! I find this search rather disturbing.)
---rafe and alison + brother (Thank god that awful storyline is over.)
---the happy show (Not PC currently, it's the Scary Show! (Joshua) But I'm sure once we get some good Rali stuff, it shall be the happy show once more :-) )
---photo shoot extras california (Sorry, I don't know of any photo shoots for extras in California.)
---valerie hartman naked (Usually I don't list the naked/nude search queries, but I found this one funny. First of all, her name is not really Valerie! And her last name isn't Hartman! Stupid ppl confusing real life w/ reel life, ugh! Second, for the last freaking time, there's no porn on my website!)
---port charles vampires master (Damn straight! PC kicks Buffy's ass!)
---how to become a vampire slayers (I find it hysterical that someone was actually searching for this. You CAN'T be a slayer, b/c um, vampires don't really exist! But the rule is, on PC, you have to be born a slayer. Sorry, Jack, Rafe could teach you some slayer moves, but Kovich blood is the key ;-) )
---tainted love - nick (I don't recall a Nick during TL)
---spoiled with spoilers (Me too :-) )
---quotes on a guy with blue eyes (But BG has green eyes)
---really good promise love quotes (Yep, you'll find a lot of those here. It's the reason I love Rali so much!)
---superstition about the eyes (No, maybe you're thinking of "Naked Eyes")
---quotes for the word superstition (Try typing in superstitions)
---going crazy over loving a girl quotes (Use some of Rafe's stuff. It works for him!)
---youre kidding me right i mean youre not serious about this are you you are oh dear god you are the doctor in front of them said shaking his head (This is what's so funny about google searches...you just can't make this stuff up! What the hell is this anyway, part of a joke? A story?)
---mistake and i'm sorry quotes (Here's that same idiot trying to find apologizing quotes. I did suggest in a previous post to try "I'm Sorry", and I see he did, but ya know what...that's all you need! Just say you're sorry! You don't need a big speech for it! Two simple words will do just fine!)
---you're amazing quotes (I got all excited when I first saw this, thinking someone was telling me I was amazing...but nope, they just want quotes about amazing people...sigh)
---quotes on being torn (Why does everybody think I have some big quote site? The only quotes I have are quotes from PC.)
---torn heart quotes (again, this is not a quote site.)
---pictures of wedding clothes (Does this look like Vera Wang's website?)
---soaps in depth magazine nj (Was a pretty normal search query until the nj at the end.)
---7th heaven romance between lucy and kevin (Nope, not a 7th Heaven Website, but that is an awesome show! Wish I had time to watch this season.)
---frank greer avatar (Random greer)
---why did livvie lose her baby on port charles (She fell in the poisoned bathtub water. Answer your question?)
---dating the mother and then the daughter upset (This person sure has some issues.)
---humor avatars (I found nothing humorous about the avatar storyline, except maybe to laugh at how stupid it was.)
---golden girls avatars (Yeah! Get your Sophia avatar here!)
---slutty avatars (If we're still going w/ the golden girls thing...that would be Blanch! If you were referring to PC...Livvie!)
---slutty shirts (Livvie could help you out there.)
---cleavage shirts (Again, Livvie could help you out there.)
---big boobs avatars (LOL)
---dance music it's ok alright i can live with that (Yeah, you just can't make this up lol)
---+a thousand times over i love you +don't even feel like i'm home +can't seem to sleep here alone +saturday we wake up (Lyric search?)
---when did charles 1 surrender (I wish I could have seen the expression on this person's face when he/she saw my website. He/she was probably panicking b/c he/she was trying to finish a research paper on Charles I.)
---surrender vampire tv (Yeah, that sums PC up...Vampire TV!)
---carried her over his shoulder (Just a strange search.)
---bra clasp how-to (Another funny bra search. Probably some preteen girl about to wear a training bra...but suprise, it's just my fanfic! Really, just look at the thing. It's a bra clasp, not rocket science.)
---sitewwwgeocitiescom he kissed shivered (Hehe, Rafe shivers when Alison kisses him :-) )
---i have never been in love until now when you can look at the person as an entire being (alrighty then)
---sitewwwgeocitiescom nuzzled hisher nose nose she (Was it necessary to repeat nose?)
---goodnight moon first chapter (The funny thing about this search is that if the searcher was familiar with "Goodnight Moon", then he/she would know that "Goodnight Moon" has NO CHAPTERS b/c it's an easy children's book!)
--kissing bed husband and wife (Okay, I'll write some rali love chapters in my fanfic :-) )
---how to find out a girl's ring size (aww, some guy is gonna propose :-) )
---how do i know the size of my girlfriend's ring (Take it to the jeweler.)
---when is kevin going to propose to lucy (Ahh yes, a question for Magic Eight Ball Mel...I KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS PC RELATED! Um, to answer your question, they are already married, but separated b/c she's w/ Ian now and he's psycho so I don't forsee a proposal.)
---get well poem by granddaughter (Try Hallmark.)
---marissa wedding dresses (Unfortunately, Marissa is no longer with the show, so no wedding dress for her. And just when they finally gave Jamal a story. :-( )
---stupid bridal shower (I RESENT THAT! Alison's bridal shower was DAMN GOOD! I'm an excellent writer.)
---thunderstorm in cancun (No, it was a tropical storm in Cancun that ruined Alison and Rafe's honeymoon in my story, except of course when Ed came to the rescue :-) )
---dress alterations in manhattan (Ever hear of the yellow pages?)
---cancun tradition clothes (Try a website for CANCUN!)
---packing for cancun (Good for you. Have fun. Thanks for sharing.)
---cancun wedding clothes (I don't know. It's hot there, so I would suggest something not too heavy. Maybe something kinda silky and short :-) And some flowers in your hair too.)
---cucumbers for her (Oh yay! Cucumbers for me!)
---cucumbers on eyes (Yep, helps get rid of eye puffiness!)
---what is lucy and kevin going to do on their wedding day (Magic Eight Ball Mel again...well, on their wedding day, here's what they DID do...they danced and kissed! Then they took little Christina home.)
---waffle iron as wedding gifts (Sure! Why not? Alison was thrilled with the waffle iron in my fanfic. :-) )
---boots rafe (Someone else must hate the boots!)
---how to make alison happy (Well she said angels turn her on ;-))
---every breath you take every smile you make (Poem? Song? Hmm...)
---how to tell when he's cheating (You want my advice? Well okay...I say take him to the Maury Povich Show!)
---i can't make my way to heavenwebsite (No, no, you found it!)
---jamal quotes (Here's the funny thing, out of ALL of the Jamals in the world, there's like a billion to one chance they were talking about Jamal Woods on PC, and they found my website!)
---original images heaven on earth (I don't really know what to say about this search except it's just a little strange.)
---what if he's an angel sent here from heaven making sure that you're doing your best to take the time lyrics (But you know the lyrics already!)
---abc soap addicts groups (Ahh yes, another soap addict, just like me :-) But sorry, I don't have any groups for that.)
---excuse rolodex (Yay, a fan of the show "Seinfeld" found my site. That's what inspired the humor post on that page :-) )
---sitewwwgeocitiescom the web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated (Looks like I'm not the only one having bandwidth problems at geocities.)
---has exceeded its allocated data transfer why (Yeah, that's what I would like to know too! WHY? Damn you, Geocities!)
---cellular phone commercial songs hey hello (Another celluar phone search)
---ali later (I know this is silly, but the first thing I thought of when I saw this search was...after a while, crocodile!)
---linkgv5yqxj2dogcwwwabcmedianetcom/ (Just a random bizzarre search)
---soap talk upcoming guests may (Here's a thought...try Soapnet.com! )
---gingham hair band (I'm afraid to find out who that is)
---come ty brian (Don't you just love those searches that are not complete sentences?)
---how to get soap talk tickets (Did you try looking over at Soapnet.com??)
---buddy icons earth (No, just Rali buddy icons here :-) )
---google address bar search orbit (I just find this search odd)
---rafe found livvie oh no oh no (This search just made me laugh out loud! Yeah, Rafe and Livvie...OH NO is what I said too lol. It's like a bad nightmare you want to forget.)
---brainwashing instincts (Livvie BRAINWASHED Rafe)
---rebound get back together (Yeah, um, do I look like Dear Abby?)
---ghemail tptb (Okay, first of all, you're not going to find TPTB email on my commentary page, and second, where the heck did they get ghemail from?? That wasn't anywhere on my page! And if it was...I would have used a space bar. )
---most depressing day ever (Was the day Rali did not get married :'( )
---them going at it (This search suggests um...sex. But Rafe and Alison don't have sex scenes! They have pillow talk. :-) So were you looking for fanfic? Okay, I'll write some rali love, but I don't get too graphic w/ the details. Teens visit this site too ya know...)
---naked towel drop (LOL! My fanfic gets the funniest searches.)
---playful horsy ride (Obviously from the chapter of my fanfic where Rafe gives Christina a horsy ride, but my question is...what was this searcher exactly looking for? LOL)
---story of alison and jamal before they broke up (Sorry, this is a Rafe and Alison site. Check out Jamal and Alison Online though...)
---where can i find the official website of the show 24seven (Not here.)
---24seven transcripts (No, I told you...not here.)
---one life to live abccom daily recap" (This is a PC website. Why didn't you just type in abc.com in the address bar instead of doing a google search for it? You obviously knew the address lol.)
---livvie and caleb (Nope, sorry, this is a Rali site. Look at the address of this site and "alirafe4ever" should have been your first clue lol.)
---quotes (Just "quotes"? Well, I guess you're not picky at what kind of quotes, huh? Hope you enjoyed my collection of favorite Rali quotes!)
---does lei like lisa or love lisa (Sorry, can't help you Lisa. I hope Lei loves you. I can tell you that Rafe loves Alison, though.)
---maury you are the father (Maury? Maury?! No, no, no, JACK was the father of little Benjamin!)
---maury povich updates (Do I look like Maury's website? This is what I get for putting that parody on my site...)
---maury show long hair (okay, the paternity results and lies and video searches...I get. But long hair?)
---quotes for apologizing (YOU again? Wow, you must really be in the doghouse. "I'm sorry" didn't work?)
---quotes realized that you were the one (Unless you were searching for Port Charles quotes...I can't help you.)
---he felt for the clasp on her bra (Sickos obsessed with bras. I'm never saying bra in my fanfic again. Oh shoot, I mentioned it here. Well I guess more pervs will stumble across this page now!)
---his lips never left her (Someone's looking for a fanfic with a love scene in it hehe)
---heaven jokes and prepare (Yeah, good thing you're preparing...you gotta have a sense of humor around Ed!)
---answer machine humor (Oh dear, please tell me you weren't looking for one of those corny and stupid things to say on your answer machine. What's wrong with "leave a message"?)
---+catfight+can't hold your man (Strange the things people put into that search box...)
---miracles and abc (Miracles and ABC in the same sentence? Hmm, yeah, I don't know if TPTB at ABC could pull off anything let alone a miracle.)
---kelly monaco and (and? and? Argh! Don't you just hate it when they leave you in suspence?)
---rafe and livvie (I told you before, this is a Rafe and ALISON website!)
---tainted love gift sets (Looking for a Christmas gift for that special someone? Then get them one of these Tainted Love gift sets! It's complete with everything you could possibly want...fangs, blood, Caleb's ring, and much more! Also, be sure to check out our Tempted gift sets, which comes with silver bullets, stakes, and anything else you could possibly need for your vampire slaying needs. Get them now! They're going fast!)
---betty paige quotes (betty who?)
---free rali (Yeah, let's free rali lol, whatever the hell that means)
---girl in bikini wearing retainer (WTH?)
---rebound get back together (I don't give relationship advice.)
---when a girl tells you she doesn't like kissing (Sucks to be you.)
---soap super 2002 shirt (try EBAY)
---apologizing quotes (Try "I'm sorry")
---rafe and livvie making love (good luck finding *that* on a Rali site! LMAO!)
---bra clasp (Do I look like Victoria's Secret?)
---undoing a bra (LOL, someone is having problems!)
---poem called about last night about last night (I just want to know what happened last night that was so worthy of writing a poem about it. Sorry, you won't find that here.)
---starting a bakery (Well Alison does start a bakery in my fanfic but don't look to me for advice on starting a business.)
---undid wedding blushing (huh?)
---heaven sent brownies (And they were so good that Jack ate them all in my fanfic!)
---owning a bakery (Well Alison owns a bakery in my fanfic but I have a feeling that my fanfic was not what you were searching for...)
---i'm so happy we are getting married poem (I'm happy you're getting married too but sorry, you won't find that poem here.)
---alison chin (A search on Alison's chin? How strange.)
---best french toast (Yep, Alison makes some great french toast for Rafe in my fanfic!)
---egg beaters versus whole eggs (I would suggest watching the Food Network to answer that question.)
---soaptalk cooking (Soaptalk cooking? Really?)
---alison credit (Yeah, she does like to use a credit card, doesn't she?)
---us cellular commercial (This poor searcher. He/she was probably looking for information on cell phones and found one of my humor pages instead.)
---oh please hurry up i want do it fast (what? lol)
---picture of boy pissing on toilet seat (How the hell did my site get listed for THIS search?!)
---secrets +quotes -stock -film -car (Huh?)
---quotes about secrets (Well I have quotes *from* Secrets, the ARC, but not quotes *about* secrets.)
---we were just friends (Yeah, yeah, "just friends", sure...)
---maury povich sex lies video (sorry, this isn't the Maury show's site, but you can check out this hilarious PC/Maury parody!)
---maury paternity test results (proved that Rafe was NOT the father in the Maury parody!)
---the aliens are coming t shirt (This must be Victor's search query *wink*)
---orbit gum woman (Is Vanessa Branch)
---orbit gum girl (see above)
---orbit gum fabulous (Who keeps searching for orbit gum? It's not that great...or maybe they were looking for info on Vanessa...hmm.)
---wild rave girl (Alison used to be one.)
---rave dancing lessons (Never been to a rave, don't want to...so why do you think I could give you lessons?)
---deb rave (??)
---rave picture girlfriend (Um, don't think you found what you were looking for on my site.)
---smoky-make-up (Do I look like Revlon?)
---charlie's angels photo shoot (I don't have the Charlie's Angels photo shoot here...but could I interest you in a photo shoot w/ the angelic "Rafe" played by Brian Gaskill, along w/ Erin Hershey Presley and Kelly Monaco?)
---kasey the mean girl (She wasn't that mean, she was just troubled. BTW, it's Casey, not Kasey)