The Meaning of ThingsInside jokes I have with myself demystified.Sam SterlingOne of my bosses at my former place of work was double head-setting with me. That's where I try to make a sale while my boss listens in on the call. I failed a call particularly badly and my boss told me I needed to be more agressive. The conversation went like this:"Ben, you need to be more aggresive." "I know." I really didn't know. "When I punch in Ben, I'm a different person. Ben, when I'm on company time, I become a very mean man. Anything for the sale. That's what you have to do." His name is Mike and he is the stereotype for hippie. Long hair, long beard, and a big jolly belly. "Yeah, Okay." "Ben, I just got an idea. When you get on the phones be someone else. Say, 'Hi, my name is Sam Sterling', or whatever. Ben, you gotta be assertive." My Employee Handbook says that you should always use a persons's name when talking to them so that they think you're their friend. "Uh, yeah." I died and I was reborn. Deliver me, Mike, from all that is good and pure in this world. (That last part was for you, Talon.) Number One, Number Two, Number ThreeOne night I was hanging out with Christine, David Hvidsten, and David Rosoff. We were playing Super Monkey Ball 2 or something. Every f-ing time I would say something to David, two heads would turn. I got pissed off, stood up, and declared loudly, "From this day forth, you are known to me as Number One, and you are to be Number Two," Number One being David H. and Number Two being David R. Then I made some lame joke about Number One putting us to red alert, and contented myself with having the best naming system ever.Later on I told David J. that he was Number Three. Everyone has agreed that the system is fair and just, except when Number Three bitches about being third, not second. I later developed the rule that if only one David was present I would refer to him as David as no such numbering system would be nessecary unless refering to a non-present David.
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